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Tonight is the night. It’s been roughly five years since you broke up, but you’re finally ready to confess to Dirk how you feel. In the past few years, you two had grown impossibly closer. You both had worked on your communication skills, and your (platonic) relationship had benefited from it. It’s now a well-oiled machine, and you’re sure no one could disagree. You’re not exact if Dirk feels the same as he did way back then, and you’d be catastrophically bummed if you’d let the love of your life slip through your fingers at the ripe age of 16. Why were you allowed to date at that age?! You were a child!
You shake your head, noticing Dirk asking if you’re okay. You nod and tell him you’re feeling chip as a bug, not wanting him to worry. You remember you still have the DVD of the movie you were planning on watching with him in your hand, so you quickly insert it. You’re sweating nervously, and you hope that Dirk can’t tell. Sure, you’ve had a girlfriend or two back in the day, but you’ve never felt like this before. Dirk, you think, had had a few as well, judging on how you’ve accidentally walked in on him macking it with a few fine fellows you’ve never met, and not that you’d let yourself admit it to him, you sometimes wish had been you.
So, yeah, you might’ve made a teensy weensy mistake and fallen in love with your best friend. You’ve been spending a lot of time with him recently, and you’ve begun to notice how much you truly care for him. You only realized about one month ago, but after thinking back on a few sleepless nights, you realized you’ve been feeling this way for a while. You know Dirk is single as of now, and with how smart, interesting, and attractive that he is, you’re not sure how long that will last. So, you’ve planned a date night, intent on asking him out. Well, it’s a platonic date night, and you have one usually once every week, but this one is different.
Tonight, you, Jacob “Jake” English, are asking out your best friend.
You sit down on the couch next to him, close enough that your sides are touching. You can feel Dirk stiffen up for a quick second, but he quickly relaxes. Maybe you’re just imagining it, but you think you feel him lean into you, and the thought makes your face burn red hot, possibly even blue hot. Blue is hotter than red, isn’t it? It is in your book, and you don’t have enough time to think about it any longer, because Dirk’s hand grabs onto yours. Oh. That’s certainly new.
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Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are, by all definitions of the word, completely and utterly fucked . You accidentally grabbed Jake’s hand instead of the remote he was holding. You know, the one in his other hand. To assert your dominance, and absolutely nothing more , you keep your hand in his. Jake, although strangely sweaty, doesn’t seem to mind, so you don’t plan on letting go any time soon.
It may have been about five years since you broke things off with him, but you are still hopelessly in love with Jake English. You don’t know why or how, but it’s torture at this point. At least you’ve gotten good at hiding it because no amount of swapping spit with your friend from the anime club Jake dragged you to has been able to pull you out of the pit of snakes you call loving Jake English. You are 85% sure he doesn’t love you back. At least, not in the way you want him to. Realistically, it’s possible with how weird Jake has been acting around you lately, and you’ve been starting to suspect it, but even knowing all that, you still highly doubt it.
As the movie starts, you begin to feel drowsy. You’ve been nonstop working on a new robotical project for the past day and a half, and though you’ve eaten no more than an hour ago, you’re still tired, which is extremely homophobic of your body, given the circumstances. So, you haven’t slept in about 47 hours, and laying next to Jake’s warm body is making your eyes droop excessively. You’re not usually like this, you could stay up for five days straight if you wanted to. You refuse to sleep, and your body will comply since you’re in control of it, rather than the other way around.
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Your name is Jake English, and though you’ve been watching what is probably the most fantastic movie ever created, you haven’t been able to focus on anything other than the small man pressed to your side. He’s warm, as he always is, but the physical warmth is nothing compared to how warm your chest feels. It’s a nice feeling, as strong as it is, but you quickly begin to feel guilty of how much you’re enjoying it, so you decide to pause the movie. You swallow nervously, unable to look down at Dirk.
“Dirk,’ you start, fiddling with the remote in your hand. “I have a little secret I’ve been keeping, even though we said no secrets, but I’ve been meaning to get off of my chest for quite some time now! I just wanted to save it for the right time, and you see, I’ve um.. Good God, I don’t want to muck this whole thing up, so I’m just going to say it outright. Dirk Strider, I’m in love with you! And I was wondering.. Would you go out on a date with me?”
You wait for Dirk to respond, but after a whole minute, he still hasn’t. So, you anxiously look down, expecting Dirk to be livid or uncomfortable, but lo and behold, he’s asleep. Your very own Dirk Strider, asleep as you confess your undying love to him. You let out the breath you were holding in a sigh, carefully standing to get him a blanket. You gently drape a blanket over him and smile at the sight. You’d take his shades off, since sleeping with glasses on isn’t comfortable, but you know Dirk might not like that, so you leave him be and sit back on the couch, farther away as to not wake him up, and resume your movie. Maybe one day soon you’ll work the courage up to tell Dirk again.
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