Work Text:
“Look good?”
Jungkook nods.
“Are you sure?” Yoonji asks, coy.
“Yes, noona.” Jungkook responds, petulant.
Yoonji feels a little nostalgic about their first time. She decides to tease Jungkook, echoing the conversation she remembers them having back then. “But are you sure su- oof!”
“Yes!” Jungkook affirms - and his legs, wrapped around the back of Yoonji’s thighs, jerk her forward to punctuate it. Yoonji titters as she topples forward, almost smacking her forehead against Jungkook’s, which is wrinkled up with his eyebrows because he feels the toy attached to Yoonji’s harness bump up along the side of his cock, currently trapped in his sweatpants. He gasps, and Yoonji kisses his nose. God, Jungkook’s lucky he’s so cute.
--
Jungkook and Yoonji had plenty of sex over the course of their relationship, although the majority of it hadn't been penetrative. Jungkook had definitely improved on his stamina since the first time it but there hadn’t been any particularly huge leaps in his running time - which was fine! At least in Yoonji’s opinion. There were a lot of other ways for them to be intimate and they’d certainly partook in plenty of it. She didn't have a single complaint, especially once Jungkook had figured out that he needed to keep his front teeth in his mouth when he was giving head.
Still, Jungkook was endlessly frustrated about his hair trigger when it came to fucking his girlfriend. More frustrated than embarrassed, actually, which was evident with how frequently he would bring it up to Yoonji. It was hard for her not to roll her eyes at it sometimes. They’d talked about it tons (it’s not like Yoonji’s sex drive was particularly high, Jungkook was so busy with school anyway, it’s really not a big deal, Kook, you’ve personally given me enough orgasms to last at least through the rest of the year), but Jungkook always seemed to be stuck on where he couldn’t perform his best. Jungkook was a perfectionist, Yoonji knew that, but it had never been something that impaired their relationship in any way.
The tension had started to build. It was enough for Yoonji to bring up an invitation to a friend’s house party and enough for Jungkook to be convinced to join. They both needed to blow off some steam - differently, considering the way they usually did that was the source of their stress at the time.
Jungkook had been sitting in the middle of Yoonji’s old California king, watching her hunched over in her closet digging around for the right pair of shoes for the party. She had worn the same pair of Doc Martens every day for the last 5 months, so her memory of the rest of her shoe collection wasn’t very strong. Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder how many shoes could actually be in there with how long she took - shoe Narnia, maybe?
The party was at their mutual friend, Seokjin’s, apartment - not a surprise to Jungkook when Yoonji even brought it up in the first place. Seokjin’s parties were the only ones Yoonji would voluntarily go to, mainly because if it were at Seokjin’s house it meant her best friend Namjoo was going to be there - which meant that they could sequester themselves somewhere with wine and philosophy while the boys engaged in their clownery elsewhere.
In the midst of Yoonji’s excavation, she had come across a shoebox, crumpled and shoved into the back corner of the closet. It was strange enough of a sight to give her pause - she couldn’t think of the last time she even bought shoes that came in a box as opposed to a pair that she could pick up straight off the shelf at the nearby secondhand shop - but when Yoonji noticed the significant wear on one corner of the lid, evidence of repeated use, the realization came to her so fast and intense that she thought it might have been comparable to astral projection. That box. The box that, being left in her apartment, may have been the only good thing her ex-partner had ever done for her. Eugh, Donghyuk.
“Kook?” Yoonji asked, her voice muffled in the closet.
Jungkook had responded quickly, attentive - “yeah?” - and when he had tossed away his phone after hitting send on a response to Jimin, he looked up to see his girlfriend was just - inexplicably - holding a bunch of leather straps in one hand and, more alarmingly, a long, deep purple dildo in the other. The smile on Yoonji’s face was that of a woman enlightened and Jungkook might have even been able to admire it were his gaze not locked on to the… yeah, extremely dick shaped object in her grip. Phallic , the Yoonji in his mind emphasized.
“Wh - what’s -”
“Do you know what a strap-on is?” Yoonji had asked, unperturbed.
“ Yes I know what a strap-on is, I --” watched a lot of lesbian porn in high school “-- I've s-seen them before!” God, Jungkook didn’t even know where the fuck to look. His doe eyes went round and round between Yoonji’s face, leather, dildo, leather, dildo again, Yoonji’s face - why was she laughing - the dildo again , and - it was huge! How was he supposed to believe that could fit inside his precious, tiny girlfriend? Is that what she had been using as a replacement for him? Had he really been so unsatisfying that -
“What if we tried this?” Yoonji had continued, actively ignoring Jungkook’s category 5 meltdown. “You know. Maybe you’d last longer?”
And - oh.
"If you want." She tacked on.
He blinked, blinked again, a little slower. Strap-on, she’d said. As in, strapped on to her. Not in.
“Yeah?” Jungkook croaked, his heart operating far faster than his brain.
“Really?” Yoonji had replied, finally a little surprise arched up in her eyebrows.
“I --” watched a lot of gay porn in high school, too “-- could… we could try?” Both of them took a moment to just… stare at each other, then. Even ground. Jungkook had… thought about it before. Penetration, on him. It’d been a man doing it - to him - in his brain, but, oh, the thought of Yoonji pushing him down like she always did and telling him to take it, voice low and affectionate - well. He swallowed, tried to absorb the thought without popping a semi. Clearly he had in fact not been watching enough porn in high school if this concept hadn't occurred to him yet.
So, they agreed to it. Jungkook’s only stipulation had been that “do you, um, maybe have something smaller” and after a few laughs and Jungkook peeking over Yoonji’s shoulder as she scrolled through her favorite toy shop on her laptop, they picked something out that was better for the both of them. It was significantly smaller, maybe around 4 inches in a shape that would dip under Yoonji for her own insertion. It came in a pretty matte black, too, because when it came down to it they had a strict goth aesthetic to adhere to.
Jungkook had almost made a countdown on the calendar hanging on his fridge at home leading up to the big day, but he didn't really want to try to explain that to any of his friends that came over within the next seven to ten business days. Eventually he couldn’t help himself and cracked, putting a big stupid smiley face on the day ‘the package’ was supposed to show up at Yoonji's place.
The wait ends up not feeling too long in the midst of school and work and just being caught up in each other. Jungkook had gotten the tracking number for the package from Yoonji and set up notifications up for it on his phone, so when it popped up in the middle of his only traditional art class of the week with a nice, bright " YOUR FETISH FANTASY DOUBLE DELIGHT STRAP-ON HAS BEEN DELIVERED!" on the screen, it ended with a horrific smudge of alizarin crimson that went straight across the glass when he scrambled to flip it over.
Later, when Taehyung had told him he knew how to get dried paint off of delicate electronics, he wasn't particularly surprised.
When Jungkook showed up to Yoonji's place that afternoon, she hadn't commented on the fact that the class he had today didn't even end for another 10 minutes from the moment he walked in the door. She actually didn't have much available brain space to think about it anyway - she was more focused on adjusting the straps around her legs - still a little loose - at least, up until Jungkook appeared. One look at his face, though, had her barking out a laugh. He stood, a deer in headlights until he couldn’t stand still anymore, rushed forward and kissed her and Jungkook felt the silicone against his thigh and -- oh. While they hadn’t discussed the logistics prior, Jungkook had quickly decided he was a million percent ready to do this right now, actually. Yoonji, surprised by the urgency, pulled away, leaving a few kisses on his cheek with giggles in between.
"No, c'mon, I'm ready now!" Jungkook whined, trying to get Yoonji to tilt her head back towards him to keep kissing. She shook her head with a gummy smile and Jungkook felt her jab the corner of an open cardboard box he hadn't noticed her holding into his side.
"No, you're not." Yoonji chuckled, and Jungkook pulled back to look down and grab the package while her fingers threaded through his hair. It wasn’t empty, and it was different from the box that the strap-on had come in. It took him a moment to process, but the product inside had the words 'enema kit' printed rather brazenly on the front of it.
"Ah." Jungkook had said, stone-faced. "No, I'm not."
--
Jungkook had to take a different color marker to his calendar to notate the difference between the "package is arriving" smiley face and the "tonight is the night" smiley face. Jimin and Taehyung had started to get annoyed with Jungkook for not letting them come over to hang out, but he simply could not have company at least until he could flip onto the next month. He was way more embarrassed about how excited he was over the act itself, but he knew those two would have questions that Jungkook was pretty sure the answers to would kill him and he simply refused to die before getting railed by his girlfriend at least once.
Jungkook had ended up practicing, err - cleaning up - more than a couple times over that span of time. He wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing, and it wasn’t like it was particularly fun or enjoyable but he found himself getting chubbed up every time he stood in the shower and slid the nozzle inside himself. He couldn't help it, not really, and if anything it just made him wonder if Yoonji felt even a fraction of the anticipation he was. They talked every day but the subject hadn't really been breached past planning what day they were going to do it, so he wasn't quite sure how she felt. Yoonji would do anything for Jungkook, but he also knew she wouldn't do something so intimate if it made her uncomfortable, so he couldn't get too worried. Curious, if anything.
A week later, Jungkook was at Yoonji's. He sat dead center in the middle of her mattress, identical to the day they had figured out they were going to do this. Yoonji was in the shower, and while the white noise that came from the water spray did make his brain get a little fuzzy, Jungkook couldn’t help but keep staring at the harness and toy sitting innocently at the corner of the bed. Jungkook's a tactile person, he couldn't really help himself when he reached out to grab the dildo, handling it as if it were glass (this was silicone, he reminded himself -- he knew the glass ones were more expensive). He peered at it carefully, twisted it around in his fingers, thought about how it would feel inside of him. Tilted it back to the opposite end, thought about how it would go into Yoonji. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up like cactus pins. His free hand had found itself trailing across his bare chest, and he shivered when his fingertips grazed over a nipple.
Jungkook had been so mixed up in his own thoughts and body that he hadn't noticed the shower stop, hadn't noticed Yoonji leaning against the frame of the bathroom door with a tiny smile and her slim arms crossed over her - oh, very naked - chest. Her hair wasn’t wet, but Jungkook knew it was because she didn't like the way it frizzed up whenever she let it dry in the open air. Yoonji would agree with that deduction, but she also just didn't have the patience to stand there and blow-dry her hair while Jeon Jungkook was sitting in her bedroom waiting to get dicked down, for God's sake.
Everything in Jungkook's hands had dropped as soon as he'd seen Yoonji. She approached him slowly and there was an aura around her that he could feel in the air, pushing him further and further back with each step closer until he was perched back on his elbows. The mattress groaned underneath her when Yoonji had put one knee and then two on it, shuffling into the space Jungkook's legs had made for her when they spread. Yoonji grabbed the harness and toy sitting at their side and moved even further up until she comfortably straddled Jungkook's stomach. He could feel her heat radiating at his belly button and -- wow, yeah, she was, really, very much naked. And Yoonji, she realized that they smelled like the same body wash, and maybe it made her chest swell a little.
"Wanna help me put it on?" Yoonji had asked, and of course he did. Jungkook has never been anything but eager, helpful, and it's one of the roughly one million things Yoonji loves about him. Jungkook was so eager that he didn't realize until after he had yanked the harness out of Yoonji's hands that no, actually, he had no idea how one of these things worked. They both giggled a little before Yoonji guided his hands first around her hips and then again around one of her scrawny thighs. There was a kind of jaggedy hole that he slipped the pin of one of the clasps into, and he realized it was probably because Yoonji had to poke it out herself so it could properly fit. Endeared, he leans forward to place a kiss on her sternum between her small breasts. Yoonji just smacked him on top of the head, giggles and pink cheeks, Jungkook dramatically falling back onto the mattress with a bounce to play dead.
When Jungkook opened his eyes he was faced with the image of Yoonji sitting there curled in on herself, toy in hand, gently easing her side of it into her heat. Jungkook's lips gaped a little, enraptured, actually kind of amazed that she didn’t have to grab any lube to get it in, especially so easily. Maybe she really was as excited as him - the thought had his toes curling behind her back while she silently slipped the front of the toy through the hole in her harness and clasped the straps around her second leg.
“Okay,” she started, "Look good?"
--
So here they are. Nose to nose, giggles that devolve into little kisses and bites. Bare chests that are warm against each other and Yoonji's fingers burrowed into Jungkook's damp hair. It gets heavier, slowly, tongues and spit until Yoonji can feel Jungkook's hips faintly rut upwards against the toy attached to her. The motion makes the opposite end of it stir a little inside of her, makes the length of it between them nudge and rub just barely against her swollen clit. Yoonji’s not used to feeling so keyed up while they're really just making out -- she wonders if this is what her boyfriend feels like all the time.
They can't seem to keep their mouths off of each other, but Yoonji eventually wrenches herself away with a smile, Jungkook valiantly attempting to chase her. She pats his cheek a couple times with one hand, pulling further back to sit up on his tummy. "C'mon, let's get you ready."
Two hands on her hips stop her, though, and she quirks an eyebrow at the offender. "Mm?"
"Already did." Jungkook huffs, eyes averting with pouty lips.
First, Yoonji lets the initial stab of arousal push through her gut. Then she thinks about the half-empty lube bottle she saw sitting in her shower that she certainly did not put there herself. She tries not to think about Jungkook opening himself up under the water, but her walls squeeze around the toy anyway. Fuck.
"Youuuuu..." Yoonji draws out with an exasperated huff, the look on her face almost pained. It's overwhelming how perfect Jungkook is, sometimes, but she chooses not to tell him for the sake of his already-burning face. He can't see the mental agony she's experiencing, anyway, considering his eyes were now focused on how starkly Yoonji's little black strap contrasted beside his own trapped, stiff cock.
Yoonji plasters one more long kiss on Jungkook's lips for good measure before sitting up and scooting back, back, up off his hips and down to the mattress between his thighs. She's not shy about grabbing the waistband of his sweats, tugging it down just enough to - finally - free his cock, cute and more than half chubbed up. Yoonji admires the almost-smooth skin surrounding it, running the pads of her fingers over the dark, faint stubble around his base and trailing up underneath his bellybutton. She watches him get harder when her fingertips ghost around him, hears his hands fwap down against the mattress at his sides.
With a smile curled at the corners of her mouth, Yoonji decides to put him out of his misery, grabbing his waistband again and moving further back to finally get Jungkook out of his sweats. He wiggles his feet to get the elastic hem around his ankles over them, carelessly letting his legs fall wide open once Yoonji tugs the pants off and tosses them away. She looks back at him and - oh, wow, he really has himself on display for her, hole a dusky pink and shiny with lubricant. Jungkook quickly realizes how out in the open he is and tries to snap his legs shut but Yoonji catches his knees and pries them back apart again. Jungkook whines about it, but Yoonji is entranced at the sight. She doesn't stop herself from sliding a hand down, letting one thumb brush over the pucker. "Look so pretty."
Jungkook's body jerks, an arm promptly being thrown over his eyes. "You can't just say that!"
"I can and I will, actually." Yoonji replies with a snicker.
Yoonji grabs the lube bottle she had thrown on the bed when she came out from the shower, still wet with cooled little water droplets. She takes her time slicking up the toy between her legs, careful with the application. Jungkook peeks out from underneath his arm to see what Yoonji’s up to, and he’s immediately transfixed - it looks so different from when her hand is on him, the toy only just barely peeking out of the top of her large grip - but her position, the way she looks up at him while holding herself, it exudes a sort of power that makes heat sear through his gut.
He would wax poetic about how hot Yoonji is forever if he could, but Jungkook’s train of thought is interrupted by her nudging forward until the toy is pushing on his hole with intent. He crosses his ankles behind her, pulling her in just a little bit more, and they both suck in a breath.
Yoonji can feel Jungkook vibrating under the hand that she has placed on his hip. She reaches down to properly line herself up, looks up to ask are you sure one more time before slowly, slowly sinking in.
She’s laser-focused on his face, the way it twists up with the tiniest ‘ah!’ she’s ever heard, the way his eyes scrunch closed when the last of the silicone is pushed snugly inside. Yoonji realizes just how tight her grip has gotten on Jungkook’s hip and she fights the urge away, instead gently rubbing at the pronounced dip that’s there. She figures though that there’s a better way to comfort him, more practical, so she slides her hand over to wrap around his flagging erection instead.
“Oh!” Jungkook yelps and she can’t help the laughter that puffs out of her nose, giving him one dry stroke before grabbing the lube again.
“You holding up?” Yoonji asks gently before squeezing a fat stripe of lube up the underside of his cock, currently laying pretty on his stomach. The muscles there tense, and she apologizes - oops. The temperature hadn’t really mattered as much when she was just putting it on the dildo.
“C’mon, baby. Words?” Yoonji prompts him again, wrapping her long fingers around him to slowly work his cock from half-mast. A little distraction from what is, certainly, a very new sensation for him.
“Y-yeah. Yeah, need a minute.” Jungkook finally manages. Yoonji can see him squeezing and then letting go of her when she looks down to admire where they’re connected.
“Got all the time in the world.” Yoonji admires the way his cock looks in her hand and feels it get stiffer every time her pretty thin wrist twists with each pull. It’s not long before Jungkook gets into it, becomes impatient, and tries to roll into Yoonji’s hold but he gets dragged back down by her presence inside of him.
“Okay, ready, ready,” he huffs, and it’s almost annoying how sweet he’s capable of being while his ass is stuffed.
Yoonji settles herself, trying to comfortably get her knees burrowed into the sheets before slowly, slowly rocking her hips forward. Jungkook is quiet and Yoonji is just waiting for her muscle memory to kick in, remember the her that was a little younger, a lot less in love. It isn’t too hard, really, almost like riding a bike - bi-ke? Riding a bi-Kook… She’s certain there’s something clever there that Jungkook would groan in response to, but she figures there’s a better way to get him to do that and it’s by gradually putting a little more force behind her thrusts. “Oh, wow, okay,” Jungkook grunts in cute little huffs, leaning up a little on one of his elbows to watch Yoonji’s hips and the way his swollen cock bounces in rhythm with every one of her thrusts. Yoonji can’t help but reply back with her own little ‘ah’s, receiving her own stimulation - faint, but direct enough to be impossible to ignore.
The air is hot around them. Yoonji regrets not bumping up the air conditioner rattling in the window beside them before starting.
“Can you… more?” Jungkook requests, lip caught in his bunny teeth.
“Yeah, yeah,” Yoonji responds, although she’s… not actually sure she can considering she’s not really in shape, not to mention that Jungkook is bigger than her, but Yoonji is relatively sure she has never said no to him and she isn't gonna start now. She pushes herself all the way in and shuffles her knees forward as far as they can go before slipping her hand underneath one of Jungkook’s thighs. She takes a breath to steel herself before pushing it forward and up, using her weight to essentially fold him in half to the best of her ability. The angle pushes the tip of his cock up against his tummy.
“Good?” Yoonji asks, a little breathless, hair framing her face the way it always does when she’s hovering over him like this.
Jungkook’s eyebrows are raised, surprised by the show of strength, feeling the implications sizzling under his skin. “Yeah, yeah -- oh!” He yelps when Yoonji hits him with a sharp, intentful thrust. The new angle is so different and it’s -- she’s nudging up just barely against something, something he’s definitely never reached before with his fingers, and his jaw falls slack at the jolt of pleasure. Jungkook tries to watch but his eyes just keep sagging shut with each push forward, not too quick but somehow so deep. Yoonji’s enamored with the way her boyfriend looks, watching the sheets bunch up slowly around his gorgeous body as it gets pushed further up every time she fucks him, and god, she can feel how slippery her thighs are as she drips around the toy shallowly sunken inside of her.
Jungkook -- Jungkook feels like he’s going crazy. Yoonji just keeps hitting that spot, over and over and over - it feels like they’ve been going at it forever and the whole time he’s been feeling himself getting closer to cumming or to what he assumes that feeling is - a sensation so intense, so bizarre, so confusing to feel while his hands aren’t even anywhere near his cock, feels a lot like -
“Am I -- am I gonna piss?” He squeaks out with wide eyes, face red and sweaty and alarmed, gaze locked onto his dick, the hardest he’s ever seen it, as if looking at it will explain what he’s feeling.
Yoonji laughs, breathy and low and just unbearably hot - “No, you’re good, gonna make you feel so good” - and of course Jungkook trusts her (and her overhead desire not to have disgusting sheets). Jungkook just takes it, keeps taking it, lets his girlfriend fuck his brains out, feels this insane pressure deep, deep in his gut, building and building and -- his hands scramble all over the bed to get a grip on something, anything, his raised leg squeezing tight around Yoonji’s little waist before something just - snaps.
“Oh, ohhh, noona, it’s --”
Jungkook’s legs slam flat against the mattress when his orgasm finally rams into him, frozen still for only one short moment before violent quivers rack up and down his body. Long streaks of cum fountain out of his jerking cock, and Yoonji is just desperately trying to keep herself anchored as her boyfriend’s body goes wild.
“Oh, fuck! Oh fuck, ohhh --” Jungkook howls, and Yoonji is just fucking obsessed with it. Obsessed with the way his face is all screwed up, how his abs jerk and jump underneath his taut skin, the bounce of the mattress as he desperately tries to take the brunt force of the pleasure that slams into him, wave after wave. It’s deep in his core, radiating through every vein in his body, a power surge that completely fries his brain.
Jungkook is so gorgeous, so gone, and Yoonji’s still shocked that she didn’t even have to touch his cock. She’s overwhelmed, then, hands rushing downward to undo only the hooks that get her out of the harness as fast as possible. She pulls her legs out, leaving the toy inside of Jungkook while she properly climbs on top of him, and she -- god, she needs him.
“Sorry, baby, gonna --” Yoonji preemptively apologises, grabbing his hot, still-twitching cock and angling up to promptly sit herself on it, filling herself up with one quick drop.
“Yoonji! Hah, mm --” Jungkook hollers, hips flying forward into the overstimulation and bouncing Yoonji up, hands flying to her waist to keep her seated as well as he can. One of Yoonji’s hands slides through the mess of cum on his stomach and the other one quickly finds its way between her legs to almost violently strum at her clit. She was already so close - when did she even get this close - and Jungkook’s whimpers and gasps are just so pretty she just can’t help but let the orgasm overtake her with a long shudder. Her walls squeeze Jungkook tight and she’s gasping for breath, sharp little inhales, her head falling backwards with pleasure. Sweat drips along the length of her neck, sliding down between her breasts. She wonders, somewhere in her head, if she’ll still remember how to play her keyboard after melting so many brain cells just then.
It takes a few moments, but Yoonji gains enough coherency to pick her head up and let her eyes open to look down at Jungkook. First, she admires the Pollock-esque masterpiece they’d made out of the cum smeared all over his abs and chest. Then she notices the way his tummy is still taut, a little jerky, and she’s surprised to look up at him to see his eyes still all smushed closed. He’s somehow still feeling it, only now starting to peter off, and it’s incredible to bear witness to. With a swallow, Yoonji reaches down to cup his face, thumb gently sweeping along his cheekbone.
“You all good in there?” She asks, surprised at how raspy her voice comes out.
It takes him a moment and a long, shaky breath, but Jungkook nods his head, croaking out a little ‘mhm’ once he starts to actually feel his feet again. His brow starts to relax, smoothing out the wrinkles on his forehead, and his eyes flutter open. The first thing he sees is the girl of his dreams, and while he’s not surprised, it still puts his heart in his throat.
“That was…” Jungkook starts, unsure of what to even follow it up with. He wonders if he may have lost some of his vocabulary over the span of the last -- wait. His thought process stops and he rolls his head to the side to look at the alarm clock on Yoonji’s night stand.
Twenty minutes. Jungkook tries to blink away the blurriness in his vision since his eyes are still a little watery.
Not two, but -- “Twenty minutes!” He balks.
And oh, what is Yoonji supposed to do but laugh? She falls forward to leave a warm, chaste kiss on his lips, and Jungkook plasters a big smile on his face while he pushes some hair behind one of Yoonji’s ears.
“That was so good,” Yoonji huffs out, honestly a little incredulous as she slowly pulls back to sit up again. She’s never come that hard in her life. “You did so good, Kook. Did -- was it good?” She suddenly realizes she should’ve checked in earlier, and --
It’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh. “Are you serious? Look at me!” He motions down to the absolute fucking mess that is his torso, and Yoonji guffaws. Yeah, look at him.
They take a few more moments to simmer before Yoonji slowly lifts herself off of Jungkook’s soft cock. She scoots back to ease the toy out of him, although she notices she barely has to pull because he had forced a lot of it out in the midst of his orgasm. Jungkook lets his head flop back onto the pillows underneath his head -- he hadn’t realized just how long his neck had been tensed up until just then.
After placing the strap to the side for a good cleaning later, Yoonji looks back to Jungkook. He’s staring up at the ceiling as his breath finally evens out. He looks like he wants to say something, so Yoonji waits, until -
“I’m so glad I didn’t actually pee.”
Yoonji chokes on a snort and grabs the harness to throw it directly at his face. “Told you!”