Chapter Text
"Therese?!"
"Not here. Please." the young brunette answered firmly and turned around making her way out of the restaurant again. Her whole body was burning and aching as though all of her cells and molecules were colliding to each other, craving for Carol. Craving for forgiveness, relief and love. Because no matter how much she tried to lie to herself while the blonde was out of her life, she still loved Carol. Maybe since the first time they met.
"There's a friend of mine outside whom I need to see urgently" Carol managed her best excuse to her friends. She took out of her purse fifty dollars and left it on the table. "I need to go, I'm sorry. I see you later, I'm sorry" and then started to walk fast, her legs making large steps to the exit. Her lungs were burning, her chest expanding non stop when she saw Therese's back out in the sidewalk. The young lady smoking a cigarette completely aware of Carol coming behind her. "Oh, dear, you came!"
"We need to talk." Therese said before taking a drag. "You're driving tonight?"
"No"
"So let's take a cab"
Carol didn't want to expose how she was affected by Therese's presence because the woman was apparently indifferent. Still the same Therese she loved but more mature now. Unhesitant. A little... cold?
The ride was quick and quiet and they agreed silently that they were going to have this conversation at Carol's apartment, and the blonde tried not to create expectations on it because she wasn't certain if Therese coming to see her meant what she thought it would. "It can't be that easy", Carol thought. "She's completely changed and I'm failed. She's not staying with me just because I returned after months and asked her to". And it hurt to think that maybe Therese didn't want to be with her anymore, because now that she lost her daughter, Therese and Abby were everything she had. They sat next to each other in the back seats but didn't touch each other or talked to each other. When they finally got to Carol's home, the blonde was shaking to the bones trying to open the door and missing the door lock a couple times. Therese noticed that the woman she loved was panicking, hyperventilating, and there was nothing she could do about because she didn't feel like they were intimate anymore. When they entered the room, her lungs sank because the entire living room smelled like Carol, intoxicating her, making her senses numb. Carol hanged her coat and invited the young lady to sit on the couch without using a word. Their eyes locked and Therese started panting, sitting and waiting to the blonde to come closer.
"You want something to drink?"
"If I drink something now, I will probably swallow everything I rehearsed to say" Therese said smiling nervously.
"I see" the older lady was worried.
A brief silence hung over them when Therese found the courage but the words ran away, it seemed like nothing mattered anymore.
"I love you" she said softly, when realized that she didn't answer anything when Carol declared her love at the Ritz Tower. "I didn't say nothing earlier today but I do love you" she sighed. The blonde raised her hand and stroked Therese's chin, left ear, left eyebrow. They were so close to each other on the sofa now that the younger one felt suffocating with Carol's perfume and warmth — not in a bad way. "I understand your reasons, my dear, but I didn't agree with your manners. And that is why I'm hurt. Because you were right when you wrote me that letter and, yes, I looked for explanations every single day after your leaving. But we could have gone through it all together"
"You are right" Carol said. "I knew it later"
"I'm glad you did"
"You're changed"
"Yes. Yes I am" Therese said, touching the blonde's hand, tracing circles on her palm. "And so are you. And that's not bad. We're changed. I haven't heard from you in a while but I can imagine you've been through a lot. It is natural"
Carol was marvelled. Everything came full circle and Therese was definitely wiser than before. Maybe wiser than she was herself. Carol felt proud of her young lover. Her heart warmed. "There was never a choice, you know that, don't you?"
"I always knew", Therese answered. "As I said, I understand your reasons, Carol, and I would never question them"
"Do you trust me?"
"I'm trying"
Therese's cheekbones were thin. She was still blushing after every spoken word as she used to, but her gestures, her posture, her way to talk, were more mature. She was still exuding youth but Carol knew she was not a naive young woman anymore. She thought that maybe she would have to get to know Therese all over again, regain her trust, win back her heart. Oh, if she only knew that Therese was melting in love for her...
"I'm all ears if you have more to say" Carol whispered, kissing her hand.
"I do but it can wait"
"Therese"
"Yes?"
Carol's hands made a way up from Therese's hands to her neck making both of them to shiver and gasp instantly. Her hands were cold and Therese's neck was warm, her skin slowly burning Carol's skin. A million thoughts passed through her mind. Should they kiss? Should she leave? It was impossible to make a decision with the blonde's fingers stroking her scruff and neck. Carol Aird was so out of her mind as she, Therese, was: panting, shaking and never getting her eyes off the brunette.
"Can I?"
"Please", the brunette wanted to say. "Give me a kiss before I faint"
Therese nodded and when she opened her mouth to formulate a proper response, Carol's lips devoured hers, sucking and nibbing, asking silently for permission to touch her tongue with her own. Therese could only gasp surprised with the feeling of the older woman pulling her hair. She needed this. She missed this so much. She leaned slowly against Carol's body, feeling completely numb, drunk with the flavor of her tongue in her mouth. Their breasts met, their bodies got closer and closer, almost turning into only one. Her shaking pale hands caressed Carol's collarbones and her breast without realizing it; The fabric the blonde was wearing wasn't thin enough for her to feel the curves, and she wished that nothing was between her attentive fingers and the skin of the woman she loved.
"I missed you", Carol whispered against her wet lips, making a way down to her neck. Therese was blushing while Carol was biting her and grabbing her waist with hands full of heat and pressure, exactly like Therese liked. "Oh..." the young couldn't suppress a moan, automatically feeling blood flushing through her face, and hearing it, Carol stopped moving. Her lungs out of control. Her lipstick was everywhere. They looked into each other's eyes, the blonde never letting go off the grab on Therese's waist. So thoughtful, watching every reaction of the woman's body. Their breathing incapable to find a pace. "I want it, believe me" she said against Therese's ear. "But not now"
"Yes"
"I love you"
"I love you" the brunette kissed her forehead, still gasping. "I love you, I love you"