Archive of Our Own

Hawks was not having a good day. Stress was his default state but there was just so much a guy could take. It was supposed to be a normal patrol, and by normal, he meant uneventful. Sure there would be the occasional thief or a few people needing help with groceries, or crossing the road, but nothing his feathers alone couldn’t handle. He would just send them out to do his bidding, take pictures with the people who recognised him on the street, sign a few autographs…

Guess the universe just didn’t want to give him a break.

Halfway through his patrol, he heard a scream, coming from a grocery store down the street. It didn’t take long before he saw a green light through the windows, followed by a person running away. Without having to think about it, Hawks sent his feathers after the man who was running with what he assumed to be a bag of cash, detaching  just enough to be able to fly if he needed to. He called a couple of sidekicks in to assist with possible casualties and went after the man who was running as fast as he could until he was circled by Hawks’ hardened feathers. 

He didn’t look like a high profile villain, just a random shoplifter, so in this situation, Hawks expected the incident to be over. He expected the man to give up. He expected him to turn around and try to fight Hawks directly. What he didn’t expect was for him to launch a green beam from his hands, targeting a civilian. Even the fastest hero in japan couldn’t go to the speed of light, so he barely had time to register what was happening before the beam hit a woman on the middle of the road.

She fell, unconscious as a car was arriving, the driver having noticed her at the last second. He saw the driver hit the brakes in shock but knew the car wouldn’t stop in time. Launching one of his feathers at the woman to get her out of the way, he had to use the ones surrounding his target to stop the car from ending up in a building. As soon as both civilians were secure, he turned towards the villain.

Things after that went very fast. Hawks saw the man aiming at someone else and detached his last feathers to prevent the beam from hitting another innocent person. He assumed it was the man’s quirk but didn’t know it’s effects. Was it a laser beam? Was it lethal? A quirk with long term effects? He hadn’t had time to analyse whatever power the perp had, but he had to stop him. 

Hawks managed to get the person he was aiming away from the beam, but the thief, now free from any kind of obstacle started to run again. Hawks quickly assessed the situation. He had sent out practically all his feathers so flying was out of the cards. By the time he would put them back on and get to him, the villain would surely make other victims and he hadn’t assessed the state of those who had already been hit by a beam. There were most likely other victims in the store and his sidekicks weren’t there yet. The villain didn’t seem to attack as long as he wasn’t chased. 

Priority to the civilians. Always.

Hawks gritted his teeth as he let the felon go but hurried, first to the woman who had taken the beam. Reattaching his feathers, he kneeled down next to where he had left her but found a little girl in her place, who looked like a younger version of her.

“Where am I?” She seemed confused, like she was waking up from a dream.

Hawks wanted to put a hand on her shoulder but decided against it when he saw her panicked state.

“Hey there kiddo are you okay? Can you tell me your name?”

“I-Imako. Where are my parents? What happened?”

At least, the man’s quirk wasn’t lethal. It seemed to have deaged the woman physically and mentally. The only real problem was going to be figuring out how long that quirk lasted, and if it was limited in time or permanent. Hawks hoped that it wasn’t the latter. 

“You’ve been hit by a quirk, that turned you back into a child. But other than that you’re gonna be okay. I’m pro hero Hawks, I’m here to help you okay?” he put on his most reassuring smile. The girl still seemed confused - which was pretty understandable- but nodded timidly at the winged hero.

Not long after, two of his sidekicks arrived at the scene, bawling how sorry they were to arrive so late. It was fine really, everything had happened in less then a minute and they were patrolling different areas. They gathered the people who had been turned back into children by the thief, and Hawks let out a sigh of relief when the doctors and quirk experts later arrived and assured him that the effects of the quirk weren’t going to be permanent. A week at most, they had said, but they needed to run a few tests to be sure. A few hours later, the victims were at the hospital and the scene was cleared. 

After that, Hawks’ mood had taken a huge blow. Even though there had been no severe injuries or losses, he had still let a third tier villain get the best of him. What kind of number 2 hero would let that happen? Him apparently. How was he supposed to face Endeavour after that? The flame hero had just started accepting working with him. After today though, he wasn’t sure the number 1 would still tolerate the presence of such a failure.  

He was also going to hear from the Commission pretty soon for his incompetence. He shivered at the thought and his wings puffed up. His meetings with his handlers were tense on a good day so he could imagine how this one would go.The searches were still going on but he was still out there and it was his fault. He would actually be there himself if it weren’t for his other source of daily stress.

This day wouldn’t have been as terrible if it weren’t for his other nightly activities. They were eating up his time, energy and the small amount of peace of mind he had managed to gather along the years.

He had a meeting scheduled with Dabi in less than half an hour. He had made his first contact with the villain a few months ago to infiltrate the League under the Commission’s orders. Considering that he was the one in charge of the recruitment, he thought he was his best shot at getting to the group as fast as possible. 

He would’ve been if he wasn’t so distrustful and precocious. The Commission had told Hawks to do anything, to go to any length to gain Dabi’s trust and to be accepted into the League of Villains, and so far he had. For months, he had let the villain boss him around, waiting for his messages, playing the League’s handyman but still nothing. 

Most of their meetings were the same: Dabi would text him a time and a place, Hawks would come and try to dig out intel through their usual banter and Dabi would play along, though not giving him anything to work with. Their conversations usually ended up with some kind of witty comeback battle or flirtation to see which one would break first.

None of them trusted each other, but they were both trying their best to discover the other’s intentions. From the outside, anyone could’ve mistaken their playful banter and casual flirting for a normal relationship but there was always this underlying tension. They were using each other and both of them knew that damn well. It’s just how their little game worked: fishing for intel and then seeing which one was going to get annoyed or flustered first.

As much as he hated to admit it, he had been the one to break more than once, most of the times because Dabi was getting way too close for comfort. Despite his trainings, his studies of intimidation techniques during his years as a hero in training at the Commission, Hawks found himself more often than not having to recollect himself when he was around the cremation villain. He had flirted with many men and women in the past but no one was able to throw him off like Dabi.

He hated it. 

He hated himself for being attracted to the man. He disgusted him. A ruthless killer who had burned people alive, who had kidnapped a teenager, who was trying to kill the hero he admired and who once saved his life. But there was this tiny bit of attraction that he couldn’t help but feel. More than once, he had imagined the villains’ hands on him, his mouth, his skin… oh the things he could do to him.

And every single time these thoughts came to mind he felt disgusted at himself.

Hawks was constantly stressed, but more because of this attraction than his general mission. And after everything that had happened today, the last thing he wanted to do was to deal with Dabi. 

But he had to. Commission’s orders. And he couldn’t say no to the Commission.

When he arrived close to the location Dabi had sent him on his burner phone, the first thing he noticed were familiar blue flames bursting out of the dark alley. His heart stopped for a second, imagining every possible explanation to this, but only one came to mind and he didn’t like it. Dabi had to know better than to actually try to burn someone alive, knowing that Hawks was around. 

Right?

That’s when he saw the green beam in the middle of the flames. It was small at first but as soon as it appeared, the flames disappeared. Now having an idea of what was happening, Hawks dove towards the scene, whipping out two of his primary feathers and hardening them as soon as he landed. When the villain he had chased earlier saw him, he started sprinting away from the scene. Lucky for Hawks, this time there were no innocent bystanders the fugitive could target to get away, so without any hesitation, he freed a few feathers and sent them after the villain, but his action was cut short when he heard a groan behind him.

Right. Dabi. Shit.

If Hawks arrested the villain now, he would probably mention Dabi during his interrogation. Whether he knew him or not, Dabi would be really easy to describe and Hawks’ cover would be compromised. He couldn’t risk that.

“Shit.” he hissed as he took his feathers back and let the villain go. Again.

He turned around and walked towards Dabi, who was lying on the ground. He crouched down next to the villain trying to find out if he had been hit by the quirk and if so, how much he had been deaged. 

He gaped at the sight of the unconscious teen in front of him. He didn’t look like Dabi at all. Instead of his trademark black coat, he was wearing a plain white long sleeved shirt and jeans. Can he deage clothes too? His facial scars were gone and his arms were covered by long sleeves but he guessed the scars were gone there too. What surprised him the most though, were his hair.

“So you’re a redhead huh?” he uttered with satisfaction. Hawks knew Dabi dyed his hair but he had always wondered what his real color was. Thank you Mr. Criminal after all.

The teenager shifted, his eyes fluttering open with a groan. By precaution, Hawks didn’t stand too close to the child, keeping in mind the possibility that he could still try to roast him alive.

He watched as young Dabi tried to sit up. He didn’t seem to have noticed him yet. The kid was shaking and Hawks’ feathers could feel his palpitations. He looked like he had been violently woken up from a nightmare. 

“Hey kid, you’re okay?” by reflex, he caught his shoulder as he was plopping himself on the wall, and that’s when young Dabi realized he wasn’t alone. 

The teenage boy’s head snapped towards the winged hero with a startled gasp, and he couldn’t help but freeze at his terrified expression. He slapped Hawks’ hand away from his shoulder and backed up so much against the wall he would’ve merged with it if he could. The boy glanced frantically around him, desperately trying to recognise his surroundings, chest heaving, his eyes bulging. 

“Where am I? Who the hell are you?” he quavered, eyeing Hawks with distrust. The latter tried to ignore the pang in his chest at the amount of distress the kid was in. It almost made him forget that he was a wanted serial killer. Almost.

“Hey, hey, calm down kid, I’m not gonna hurt you.”  he took a few steps back and raised his hands, lowering his wings as much as he could to show he wasn’t a threat “Deep breaths, okay? You’re safe.” to his surprise, the boy did what he said, calming down slightly but still not fully letting his guard down. Still, better than nothing. “I know it must be really confusing and scary right now but you’re not in danger. I’m pro hero Hawks, and you’ve been hit by a quirk but I’m here to help.”

It was slight, but Hawks saw the kid flinch at the mention of his hero status. 

So his beef with heroes goes way back. he pondered.

Dabi seemed to have finally calmed down to Hawks’ satisfaction. He was staring at the ground, looking more focused than terrified. 

“You good?” Hawks asked, carefully approaching the teen. Noting his panicked demeanor and how scrawny the boy looked, he didn’t deem him a threat. If anything, the hero was worried about the kid. Even though the alley was dark, he could still tell that his collarbones were showing under his shirt.

Crouching down next to him, Hawks immediately realized he had underestimated Dabi. Angry turquoise eyes shot up at him and he threw himself back with a yelp as blue flames burst out of the boy’s hands. Taking advantage of Hawk’s reaction, he leapt to his feet and started running. Cursing under his breath, Hawks sent out one of his feathers after him to attach it to his wrist, keeping him from going further.

“Let go of me you chicken looking bastard!” young Dabi shot, struggling under the feather’s grip. Hawks got up, dusting his costume and walked up to him, now more cautious and slightly annoyed.

“Oh yeah, definitely! I mean, it’s not like you deliberately attacked a pro hero who was trying to help you.” Hawks jested with a hint of the sarcastic demeanor he always had with the villain. If he could still call him stupid nicknames, he was allowed a witty comment or two. He was known for being fast after all, not mature.

“Help. Yeah, right.” Dabi scoffed “You’re a hero. You’re just gonna bring me home.” 

Hawks’ eyebrows furrowed, catching the slight quiver in his voice. Dabi’s words and the way he said them held a meaning Hawks was familiar with. They reminded him of his life before the Commission, of Keigo. Of the relief he had felt when Endeavor had arrested his dad.

He looked at kid Dabi more closely. Out of the alley and under the street lights, he could see him more clearly, and what he saw made his stomach turn. Adult Dabi was lanky, but it was nothing compared to how bony the teen in front of him was. He had seen it in the alley, but now he was taking in the full scale of how malnourished the boy looked. And it wasn’t even the most shocking part. He could now see the dark bruises on his face, even one with the shape of a hand, a hand on his throat. He could see bandages under his long sleeves, and those seriously needed to be changed. Hawks wondered how many bruises and scars were covered by his clothes. The reality of Dabi’s situation in his younger years hung heavy in the air. He felt sick.

He loosened the feather around Dabi’s wrist, not fully letting go in case the boy would try to run again and kept his distance this time, now knowing that coming any closer would only make him feel even more unsafe.

“I’m not here to bring you home if you don’t want to, kid. I promise.”

A slight pause. Dabi’s hand seemed to relax slightly. He eyed the winged hero with such intensity, he almost felt intimidated.

“Really?” young Dabi still looked tense, but at least he was listening.

“Yeah.” Hawks hesitated a moment. What was he supposed to do now? He was still undercover and had a deaged criminal to deal with. He couldn’t turn him in or ask for exterior help without blowing his cover, but he couldn’t let the teen walk free when he didn’t know for sure how long the quirk was going to last. 

He seemed to not fully believe him, but enough to stop struggling. His glare softened and let a little bit of the fear hidden behind it to filter through his eyes.

“You… you said I’ve been hit by a quirk?” 

Shit.

“Yeah, you have. It’s not harmful though, don’t worry. What’s the last thing you can remember?” 

“I-uh… I think I was helping my sister with her homework… I don’t know how I ended up here” he scratched his head, searching through his memories.

“Don’t worry, it’s normal.” Hawks smiled reassuringly, still trying to weigh his options in his head “You’ve been hit by a memory quirk. Someone lost control and you were in the way. It’s a simple accident. Normally,  it erases up to 2 days of memories.” Hawks lied easily. 

He didn’t know enough about the teen and how close he was to the Dabi he knew psychologically. He figured his best bet would be to keep the deaging quirk and his future as a villain from him. It would also be useful to get the background information he lacked on the villain. 

He felt a little bad for using the kid. Given what he just learned about him and the obvious abuse he went through at home, using him to get intel was just immoral. But then, he was feeling bad bad for a villain . No matter his past, it couldn’t excuse all the people he had burned alive, all the bodies he had left in his trail. Did empathizing with the villain make him a bad person? Or was it using a kid who hadn’t even committed those crimes yet and was getting abused?

It didn’t matter. He had a mission.

“Look. You don’t have to go home right now. We can get you some medical care and then get you some help okay?” Hawks needed to stall. In reality, he couldn’t bring him to a hospital or to the police without them asking questions. There was the Dabi problem, but also the fact that he let the other villain go without reporting it. He could lie about the deaging quirk to the personnel too but the teenager could turn back into Dabi anytime. It was too risky.

“I don’t wanna go to the police.” Hawks’ thoughts were cut short by the kid’s words.

“Why is that?”

“Because the last time I went to the police, they sent me back home anyway.”

His blood froze at the words. How could the police send back home a kid who was clearly being abused? Why the hell would they do that?

“What are you talking about?” His confident front faltered at the implications of the kid’s every word.

“My father has money and friends in high places. And even without that he can just threaten people into shutting their mouths.” he wore a somber expression. Too dark for any kid his age. He couldn’t be older than 16.

Now he really wanted to throw up. He wasn’t an idiot and had experienced first hand the corruption within the Commission and police ranks. But seeing and hearing the kid in front of him talk, he could only feel bad for today’s Dabi. Hawks did his best to swallow his anger and keep a reassuring front, but on the inside, all he wanted to do was to beat up the cops who let such a young kid suffer for their own benefit.

“How about that huh? You let me take care of those wounds first, I get you some food, and then we’ll figure out what to do after that. Sounds good?” he offered. It sucked, but his distrust towards the police had played in his favor. He still looked hesitant but nodded slowly, Hawks’ feather leaving his wrist.

“What’s your name?” Hawks asked. He couldn’t help the anticipation he felt. He had known Dabi for a few months already but had never been able to get any information on him, not even his real name.

“Touya.” Hawks waited, hoping he would get his last name as well but it seemed Touya was already weary of people knowing his identity at his age. It figured, if his father was able to have that kind of influence. It raised even more questions in the winged hero’s mind, but his best chance was to wait and earn his trust. Damn he was a terrible person.

***

Another thing the hero learned about Dab- Touya, was that his motion sickness used to be even worse in his teenage years. As soon as they landed on Hawks’ window and got into the apartment, the boy had thrown up the little food he had in his stomach all over the floor.

Yikes.

After cleaning everything up and ordering chicken wings for Touya -and a little for him too-, Hawks went to pick up his first aid kit in the bathroom, and started tending to his wounds. He started with the bandages that were hanging loose around Touya’s arms, as if they hadn’t been changed in days. Taking them off, he felt bile rise up to his throat. His arms were covered with second degree burns. 

How could someone do that to their own kid? How could they leave them with his wounds untreated, risking a serious infection like this? The worst part was that after being treated properly, the burns wouldn’t leave any scars. Which meant that Dabi’s current scars weren’t caused by a one time thing. It was something he had gone through multiple times. 

He had burns practically everywhere, with bruises and long healed scars but Hawks knew it wasn’t all of it. Some of them had faded or disappeared. He had to fight the angry tears that welled up in his eyes. He kept working in silence, noticing how Touya was carefully avoiding Hawks’ gaze. He was terrified to even talk about it. Everything about this situation was fucked up.

The food was delivered soon after he had finished tending to his injuries the best he could. They both sat in Hawk’s kitchen, Touya drooling at the sight of the chicken wings and the hero pushed them towards him.

“Eat up or I will.” 

Touya raised an eyebrow at Hawks “Isn’t that like… cannibalism?” he snorted.

“I’m not a chicken! My name is Hawks! I’m a hawk!” he gasped dramatically, making the kid laugh. It was the first time he saw a genuine smile on Touya’s face. On Dabi’s face too for that matter. It didn’t warm his heart. Not at all.

Touya ate like he hadn’t been fed in days. Hawks let him. He even gave him his part. There was now a comfortable silence between the two. Watching the boy eat, Hawks wondered if things could have been different for him. If someone, anyone had actually helped him, or even just listened and believed him, maybe Touya would maybe still be Touya. And Touya really seemed like a decent kid. He probably could have turned out great. Maybe there would have been no Dabi. With the little time he had spent with him, Hawks could now understand his hatred towards hero society. If the police had sent him back home, it would be no surprise that some heroes had too.

The more time passed, the more empathy he felt towards Dabi. Hawks-no, Keigo had been in a similar situation to Touya. He could’ve easily turned out the same as him if he hadn’t been “entrusted” to the Hero Public Safety Commission. The only thing that separated them was that one moment.

Maybe they weren’t so different after all. Thinking about all the disgust he felt towards Dabi, and his guilt for being attracted to the villain, it wasn’t hard to imagine Dabi feeling the same about him if their situations had been reversed.

He wished he could help Touya, but it was already too late. He could only babysit the teen, until he inevitably came back to his normal age. The damage was already done and nothing Hawks would do could change that now. 

And the hero needed answers. He needed them before it was too late. But this time, not for intel on Dabi or the Commission. Screw that. After everything this boy had gone through, what he saw, Hawks wanted to know if whoever his parents were had finally been held accountable for their actions, and if not, where these bastards lived. He knew he was getting too emotionally involved and that it wasn’t good, knowing that Touya would become Dabi again sooner or later, but at the moment he didn’t care.

“Touya.” Hawks made a small pause, waiting to get the boy’s attention “Did your father do this to you?”

Touya's now relaxed expression was leaving place to tension. His face paled and his eyes were fixated on an invisible dot on the wall. He looked like he had seen a ghost. His mouth closed in a thin line and he grew so still he looked petrified. It broke his heart how the simple thought of opening up seemed to terrify the kid so much.

“Hey. It’s okay. Like I told you earlier, I’m here to help. Whoever your father is, I don’t take bribe money and I don’t scare easily. You have my word.” Hawks assured. Touya looked at him as if he was trying to read his intentions on his face. Even though he still didn’t look completely reassured, his shoulders unclenched.

“The bruises are from him… But the burns are my fault.” Touya mumbled, fidgeting and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“What do you mean your fault?”

“I’m too weak, so my quirk hurts me. He’s making me strong. He says that I need to be strong enough to be beat All Might. But I never do good at trainings and I end up hurt. It’s my fault.” 

“He’s making you strong? He’s training you?”

Touya nodded, now looking down. He looked ashamed. Hawks wanted to scream.

“So what you’re saying is, he’s forcing you to use your quirk, which isn’t adapted to your body, to the point where you burn yourself? And he also beats you up?” oh god he was going to throw up.

He nodded again and Hawks gaped at the boy. He didn’t even know what to say. A part of him didn’t want to hear any more from Touya, because every time he talked, the hero was more and more horrified with his situation.  

“And what about your mom? She doesn’t say anything?”

“If she does he beats her up too. She used to but now she has to take care of my siblings.” He didn’t look angry, or even sad about it. He just stated a fact. Like it was normal.

“And he beats them too?”

“No. He’s not interested in Fuu and Natsu’s quirks, so he ignores them and makes them live in another part of the house with mom. And at least they’re safe as long as he focuses on me. Shouto doesn’t have his quirk yet but when he does, I hope it’ll be the same for-”

A pregnant pause. No reassuring words from Hawks, not even a smile. He just stared in shock. Touya must have noticed Hawks’ expression because his explanation trailed off into silence. It took a minute for Hawks to recollect himself.

“Are you talking about Shouto Todoroki?”  He didn’t know the names of Endeavor’s kids besides Shouto, since the guy was so private about his family life, but he knew he had three. He now remembered he used to have four. 10 years earlier, the tragic death of Endeavor’s eldest had made the front page of every newspaper.

If Touya was really talking about the same person, then that would mean…

The eerie silence that came after sufficed to answer his question.

“Touya. Is Endeavor your father ?” Hawks cringed at how shaky his voice sounded, but he couldn’t help it. It was a lot to take in.

The teen was looking down and biting his lip so hard he thought he could see blood coming out of it. He didn’t move for a few seconds, but then finally nodded. Hawks sucked in a deep breath. Now that , he never would have expected.

He could’ve told himself it was all just an act, that Dabi was the one talking and trying to manipulate him. Maybe it would have been easier. But Touya’s flinch at the mention of Endeavor’s name, the sheer terror in his eyes and the way he looked like he had just signed his own death warrant, just by saying too much told Hawks otherwise. 

“Are you going to send me home now?” he sounded so defeated. Hawks was still in shock, but it wasn’t the time to process all of that and go crazy about it. The kid was terrified.

“Hey, I told you. No bribes, no fear. Not even for Endeavor.” he said, ruffling his hair. It was Touya’s turn to gape at the hero. He looked at him like he was crazy.

“So… you believe me? And… and you’re really gonna help me?” Hawks’ heart shattered at that. He couldn’t. It was already too late.

In that moment, he hoped that the quirk was permanent. That way maybe Hawks could turn things around for Touya. He would never have to become Dabi. But it was really unlikely. 

“Yeah.” he struggled to keep his voice from cracking. He hated himself for lying to the kid. Even more so when his eyes lit up with hope and tears started streaming down his cheeks. Even more when he started sobbing and jumped out of his chair to hug him. And he couldn’t hate himself more when he hugged him back.

Touya stayed like that for a long time, crying and shaking while Hawks was holding him. It was probably the first time someone ever really listened to him. And considering everything he just heard, it was probably one of the rare moments he had any kind of affection. After a while, Hawks realized that Touya had fallen asleep. The poor kid must’ve been worn out by the stress of the day and everything that was already going on in his life.

Hawks carried him to his bed, deciding the best he could do now was let him rest. He quietly closed the door on the way out of his room and then slumped on his couch. Now that he was alone, everything he had discovered came back to hit him in the face.

Dabi was Endeavor’s son. Endeavor was a monster. The man he had always admired, the man he had once considered worthy of the number 1 title. The man who had saved him from his abusive father was one himself.

No wonder why Dabi hated heroes and was such a fervent follower of Stain’s ideals. He had witnessed first hand the corruption in hero society. Hawks was sure the Commission knew who Endeavor really was and sadly, it didn’t surprise him at all that they had covered it up.

He couldn’t count the parallels between his and Dabi’s life. The only thing that made a difference between them, the number 2 hero and one of the most wanted criminals in Japan, was not more than a couple of moments. Hawks was taken into the Commission’s custody. Dabi somehow ended up in the streets. It could’ve easily been the other way around, especially since Touya was already protecting his siblings when he was a kid. He could’ve been a hero. With the right guidance, a safer environment and the adequate support gear, he probably would have been greater than Endeavor himself. He would have been genuinely good.

A text message notification interrupted his thoughts. It was from his agency.

From: Suzume

Got the report from the quirk expert. The villain from the store this afternoon can deage the person he shoots with his beams by ten years. Turns out, he hadn’t trained his quirk a lot, so the effects won’t last very long. About 10 hours tops. 

From: Suzume

The people who’ve been turned into kids are all safe, either at the hospital or with their family until the effects wear off.

To: Suzume

You’re the best!

Dabi had been hit about 3 hours ago. It was already late and Touya was now sleeping soundly in his room and probably wasn’t going to wake up until morning. He would probably have a lot of talking to do and  -mostly-  a lot of fireballs to dodge from Dabi the next day. At least, Hawks would be able to manage the situation. Mostly. Maybe. 

Anyway, that was a problem for future Hawks. And future Hawks would probably hate him but it wasn’t his problem.

Putting his phone aside, he reached for his laptop. 

Todoroki Touya he typed on the search bar and read through the articles.

No. 2 hero Endeavor’s eldest son dies in tragic quirk accident

The tragic death of Endeavor’s son

Endeavor mourns the loss of his son

Quirk accident causes Endeavor’s son’s death

A quirk accident huh? Hawks closed his laptop. Given what he had been told about Touya’s horrifying trainings, he knew it wasn’t a simple “quirk accident”. Hawks couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes. Were they tears of sadness? Anger? Helplessness? He didn’t know anymore. He just felt numb.

Endeavor had killed his son.

At least, he had pushed him far enough for him and his entire family to believe he was dead. That’s the only way Touya had been able to escape.

“Break a leg out there! But don’t go kickin’ the bucket! Todoroki Enji!”

An image of Dabi’s appearance after the High End nomu attack plagued his mind. He had looked feral that day. How could he have not seen it? He was so focused on his mission to infiltrate the League that he hadn’t even realized how personal his intentions towards the No. 1 hero were. He knew he had beef with him, but he had always assumed it was because of his rank and because Dabi was a villain. How stupid. Looking back, he could’ve at least known there was something more.

“Fuck. What am I supposed to do now?” he sighed.

His hands were still tied with the Commission, and even though he empathised with Dabi, he didn’t approve of the League’s methods. Plus, with all the turmoil that had been shaking hero society recently since All Might’s retirement, exposing Endeavor now would be a terrible move. With those revelations, even he was starting to doubt his own morals and position.

Hawks just wished he could just sink in his couch.

Staring at the ceiling, he felt sleep creep up on him as he imagined all the ways life could have gone different for the villain he was supposed to manipulate.

***

Heat. Lights dancing behind his eyelids. It took some time for Hawks to register these informations when he wasn’t even out of his lethargy.

A hand grabbing the collar of his shirt and violently lifting him up off the couch. This time, Hawks opened his eyes suddenly with a yelp, his heart hammering in his chest from the sudden movement.

The first thing he saw was blue. Blue flames dancing menacingly, right under his nose. Furious blue eyes glowering at him, ready to drown him in their rage. Barely awake, Hawks took in the features of the man in front of him and stared in confusion, still not moving from his grip.

“Touya… What are you-”

“What did you just call me?” the hand that was holding him jolted up, the flames coming closer to his face. 

Hawks was definitely awake now.

“Shit! Tou- Dabi! Wait a second!” his eyes widened at the villain’s sight.

“Answer my fucking question bird brain! Where did you get that name? And what the fuck am I doing in your apartment?” Dabi was clearly losing patience and Hawks was pretty sure he could feel his subtle chin beard being burnt to a crisp.

Ah. So he didn’t remember.

“Gimme some space to talk then! Jeez!” Hawks finally pushed the villain away from him, but Dabi stayed on guard, a flame still lit in his hand.

Hawks cringed at the fire, remembering Touya talking about his quirk.

“Talk.” Dabi commanded.

Hawks took a few seconds to answer, trying to find words that wouldn’t have him end up as roast chicken.

“Heh, I dunno, I don’t really like your tone right now.” Hawks shrugged and dodged the little flame thrown at him. Okay. Poor choice of words “Alright! Alright! I got it you’re in a bad mood!” he joked. 

Dabi was staring at him with an unreadable expression, and Hawks immediately regained his seriousness. Now was not the time to mess around “Your were hit by a quirk yesterday. It de-aged you and I brought you here because the police or the heroes were -for obvious reasons- not in my options.”

“And I see you used that at your advantage to get your background info on me, hero .”

The designation made him stiffen. He knew exactly what it meant to Dabi now. 

“You were covered in bruises and burns, Dabi. I couldn’t just stand there without having any questions.” Hawks disputed “I told you many times where my loyalties lay. I won’t use it against you.”

“And I told you many times that your words mean nothing birdie. I don’t trust you.” he shot back.

Fair enough. To be honest, Hawks wasn’t really sure where his loyalties really laid anymore. 

“Well, do you really have any other choice? I’m still an asset you can’t afford to get rid of.”

“You think too much of yourself pretty bird.” Dabi sneered, lighting another flame with his hand. Hawks could feel his boiling rage hidden under his apathetic demeanor. If there was anything left of the Touya he met yesterday, he could say Dabi was just trying to hide his apprehension.

“Aww you think I’m pretty!” he mocked, this time earning no reaction from Dabi. He sighed “Listen. I’m not gonna say anything. You don’t trust my words? Trust my actions, my pattern. I’ve always held my end of the bargain haven’t I? And yesterday, I could’ve turned you in easily, but you’re here and free to go. I told you. Everything I do, I do for the League.”

Dabi glared at him but the blue fire in his hand disappeared to Hawks’ relief. He didn’t say anything back, which felt really odd, knowing Dabi’s constant efforts to always have the upper hand in a conversation. 

“Touya-”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” he snarled “Just because you got to learn about the shitty kid version of me doesn’t mean you get to use that fucking name.”

“We still have to talk about this Dabi. It’s big.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, you hear me No. 2? If that name ever comes out of your mouth again or if you even just mention anything in relation to it, I’ll fucking fry you, got it?” Dabi shoved past him, going to the door. Hawks knew better than to stop him “Don’t try to contact me. I’ll text you when the League needs you.”

“The usual then!” Hawks shot back with a grin. The door slammed. His smile faltered.

The winged hero walked back to his couch and plopped himself down onto it, staring in the distance. He wasn’t sure which side he was really on anymore. When it came to picking his battles, he had always been taught to let the Commission make every single moral and ethical choice for him. 

He had been mostly fine with it, as long as he got to be a hero. He had accepted to ignore the Commission’s flaws, as long as he got to save people. What a fucking joke. How could he believe in a hero society where the new “Symbol of Peace” was a child abuser? How could he believe in a hero society that created its own villains? In the end, Dabi was born because Touya had simply been deemed collateral damage. A life they had chosen to sacrifice to make themselves look good.

So who were the real villains in the end?

“Fuck.” he croaked “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

***

Red feathers ruffled in the wind as the man stood still in front of a grave. He was completely alone, there wasn't even a body resting in under the ground, but he didn’t mind it. 

In Loving Memory of

Touya Todoroki

Beloved son, brother and future hero

He read on the grave. 

Future Hero . 

“I’m sorry.” he simply said. The words hung heavy in the air, as he laid white chrysanthemums on the grave, and left without uttering another word.

Not too far, sitting against a stranger’s grave, a man with more scars than skin blew a puff of smoke, cigarette hanging from his lips. Maybe a tear would have appeared on the corner of his eye if he had been capable of such a thing.