Chapter Text
“Guys, I think we might be lost.”
“No shit, Pete.” James groaned, pulling the campus map they’d been given on the first day of orientation out of his hoodie pocket. He unfolded it, after some trouble that involved nearly ripping it clear in half, and tried to place their location somewhere in the mess of garishly colored squares.
Peter glanced around at the unfamiliar buildings nervously. “Er, well maybe we should ask somebody?”
“Petey, we can’t just ask somebody.” Sirius said, shaking his head. “That’s not in the spirit of the scavenger hunt.”
“Agreed. They’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, probably.” James examined the walls skeptically. “Gid says they take these things really seriously.”
“B-but, it’s getting kind of late, and I don’t think-”
“Don’t worry about it, Petes!” Sirius slapped his friend on the back in what he probably thought was a reassuring way. His scrawny friend nearly toppled over from the force of the blow. “Our friends at Alpha Sigma Sigma are sure to take good care of us. I mean, after the finish the initiation, probably.”
“Or they could just be giant assholes.” James quipped, looking around for his friends’ approval. “Yeah? Ass? Get it? ‘Cause--”
Sirius peered over the top of his shutter shades in mock disapproval. “I’m disappointed, Jimmy. How could you slander the good name of Alpha Sigma Sigma, the greatest and most dignified fraternity on this magnificent campus?”
“I told you to stop calling me Jimmy.” James huffed, stuffing the map back in his pocket. “Literally no one else has called me Jimmy in about sixteen years.”
“I’m your best friend, aren’t I? I think if anyone’s earned the right to call you ‘Jimmy,” it’s me.”
“Yeah, but just because you have something, it doesn’t mean you should use it.” James rolled his eyes. “Like shutter shades and white privilege.”
Sirius recoiled as if shot by a bullet. “James, how could you? I’ll have you know that these shades are of the utmost importance, and by no means must they be set aside to gather dust. No, they have only one place in life: on my face.”
“As you wish.” James stuck his tongue out. “Anyway, we should probably find a way out of here…” He tried the nearest door and blinked in surprise when it opened. “Mate, look, it opens.”
“That is the general purpose of doors, yes.” Sirius grinned.
Peter, meanwhile, tried to actually peek inside. “H-hello? Is anyone there?”
“Who’s that?” A lanky student, who was wearing a lab coat three sizes too big for him, was sitting at a desk in the corner of the room, running some sort of complicated computer simulation. An extremely unsteady pile of petri plates were stacked by his right hand, and he seemed as if he was just about to knock them over with every movement of the mouse.
“Um, sorry, it’s just - we were looking for something, and we got a bit lost…” Peter looked up at James for guidance here.
“We’re doing the initiation for Alpha Sigma Sigma.” James looked around the lab, enthralled by the equipment. He’d known the medical program on campus had money, but he didn’t know the funding was this good. He’d considered applying, but his love of chemistry had won out, which he was now regretting, thanks to one Severus Snape.
“We’re supposed to be looking for the official ASS hookah, but,” He tipped his glasses down and winked, “looks like we found something even better.”
“It’s always nice to find someone else interested in science.” He smiled.
Peter inched a little bit closer to where the student was working, trying to get a look at his work. “What are you doing there, by the way? I-if you don’t mind me asking, I mean…”
“I’m compiling the results of an RNA sequence trial.” The student scooted his chair back to allow Peter to see.
“Ooh, cool!” Peter glanced over the computer screen, seeming genuinely interested. Something at the top of the page caught his eye. “Remus Lupin…. oh, aren’t you in one of my classes?”
“I’m the TA for Molecular Biology. You’re probably in it, I’m guessing.” Remus frowned for a second, trying to place Peter’s face, before his expression brightened up. “Oh, you’re Peter! Pettigrew, right?”
Peter’s face lit up. “Yeah! You actually remembered me! That’s it, Molecular Biology is the class, right. Oh, and uh, these are my friends, James and Sirius.”
Sirius adjusted his shutter shades. “Sirius Black, the one and only.”
“Didn’t your family just make a donation to the law program?” Remus looked over at Sirius. “A pretty generous one, if I remember correctly.”
For once in his life, Sirius Black just stood there without saying anything for a moment. “...My family is… very…” He looked like he was trying to find the right word for a second before giving up.
“Filthy fucking rich.” James cut in, nodding thoughtfully. “Sounds about right.”
Sirius glowered. “That too, yes. And… a bit uptight, shall we say. Overbearing, perhaps. Maybe a bit too forceful with what their son’s career-”
“Anyway,” Peter cut him off before Sirius could go into yet another rant about his family problems. “I hate to ask this, but… we could kind of use some help finding our way around campus… I mean, if you have time, I don’t want to interrupt your work or anything, sorry.”
“I’m only watching the program run, to be honest.” Remus chuckled. “You know how it is. If you’re looking for... the Alpha Sigma Sigma artifact that may or may not be hidden in this building, you might want to check the chemistry labs upstairs. Fabian was in charge of hiding it. He really likes the chem lab.”
James elbowed Peter in the side. “Look at the jacket on his chair. We’ve gotta play nice with this guy, for sure.”
Sure enough, a red and gold jacket was draped across the back of Remus’ swivel chair, with a familiar set of letters down the front panel.
It took Peter a moment to process what James was saying. “Oh! Oh. I see. I didn’t - well, we should probably go check out the chemistry lab, shouldn’t we? Thanks, er, thanks for the help.”
Sirius put the pieces together in his mind and smiled. “Well, it seems like we might be seeing plenty of you again soon.” He smiled as he backed out of the room, shooting a quick finger-gun at Remus before leaving.
“No problem, boys. Be safe. Don’t explode anything, now.” He looked pointedly at James, who looked vaguely confused. “Lab assistants do have social lives, you know.”
James rushed out of the lab as if a fire was lit under his heels, with Sirius and Peter close behind. Everyone knew about Fabian Prewett’s tendency to hang around in Chemistry labs and James, unfortunately, had discovered what exactly he did in the lab during his search for his first class.
First Year Writing Seminar was the class that everyone had to take, and no one ever remembered.
It was a rite of passage in and of itself, the kind of hellish experience that connected all students at Lucas Medicus University. The students filed into a classroom full of other, bored, half-asleep students, where the teacher had yet to arrive to class as usual.
There was only one upside to First Year Writing, and that was that it was the only class that James, Sirius, and Peter all had together.
This class was also the only one James shared with the cute redhead he’d accidentally bowled over during Freshman Orientation. Lily Evans, who sat right next to Sirius and hated every second of it, was already at her desk when the boys walked in, just a few minutes ahead of the clock striking eight.
“Good morning, fellow mortals!” James called out as he rushed to his seat. “I’m here. No need to worry."
“We were just about to start a prayer of thanks for your disappearance, Potter.” Lily groaned theatrically. “Get out and we’ll call it even.”
On the other hand, it was, unfortunately, not the only class that he shared with Severus Snape, the one person he could stand the least. Not coincidentally, Snape also couldn’t stand James in return. “It’s a shame. You really got my hopes up, Potter.”
James rolled his eyes, shrugging off Snape’s comment. “Hey, Evans! Got a joke for you.”
“What?” Lily brushed her bangs out of her eyes, obviously only humoring James.
“Why shouldn’t you trust atoms?” James grinned, already stifling chuckles.
“I don’t know, Potter, why don’t you tell me?”
“Cause-- Cause they make up everything.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, which had to be exaggerated since it was hard to see them behind the shutter shades. “James, my boy, even you couldn’t have thought that was funny.”
“Better than any of your jokes, Entirely Average Gatsby.” James huffed. “You’re one lab accident away from calling everyone old sport and chasing green lights or something.”
Sirius leveled his gaze at James, slowly taking off his shades and flourishing them as his spoke. “I don’t have any time to be chasing green lights, James. I’m far too busy chasing tail.”
Peter piped up from the seat next to James. “That… I think maybe you kind of proved his point, Sirius…”
“No one’s as good at chasing tail as me, boys.” Fabian Prewett slid into the free chair on Lily’s other side. His twin brother, Gideon, sat down next to him with a thick physics textbook in hand. “Delusions of grandeur again, Black?”
“It’s nice to see you guys.” Gideon nodded in their general direction before cracking his book open to continue work on his physics notes. “After last night, that is.”
Peter shuddered. “That was… I sure hope we don’t have to do anything like that again.”
“Ah, it wasn’t that bad!” Sirius leaned back in his chair. “I mean, we all came out alive and with our college careers intact, after all.”
“What happened last night?” Lily looked over the boys.
“We can’t tell.” Fabian sighed, running a hand through his hair. “If it were so easy, everyone would be getting into Alpha Sigma Sigma.”
“Fraternities are inherently exclusive, so I guess you are asses. At least you can all bond over your lack of concern for other people.” Lily smirked.
“That’s cold, Evans.” Fabian shuddered, just as the professor walked in, the handle of his ratty leather briefcase clutched tight in his hand. “Hey, Artie, what’s got you up this early?”
“I’m Professor Weasley while you’re in school, young man.” Arthur Weasley, temporary English professor, shot his brother-in-law a look. “And your sister, for the record.”
“That’s gross.” James grimaced. “Don’t you already have six kids or something?”
“I have three.” Arthur looked around in confusion. “Almost four.”
Sirius whistled. “Man, you’re what, ten years older than us? You two must be getting busy.”
Peter covered his face with his hand in embarrassment. “Are you serious?”
Sirius put his shutter shades back on. “Always.”
“Anyway, kids”, Arthur turned his back on the class and scrambled to find chalk to write on the board, and James leaned forward to tap Sirius’ shoulder.
“Do you know how to write a persuasive essay, Sirius? You have to be very formal about your tone, you know. Very.” James joked, chuckling as he completely tuned out the lesson. “We learn this every single year, it feels like.”
“James, are you implying that something about my demeanor is not entirely and completely formal?” Sirius tapped his shutter shades with the most deadpan, meaningful look he could muster.
“I mean that there are just some things you don’t apply yourself in.” James pulled a face reminiscent of Sirius’ mother. “For example, your dreadful attempt at hitting on Lab Boy yesterday night. Disastrous.”
Sirius lost his composure for just a moment, before recovering with a overly-confident grin. “I don’t know what scene you were watching there, Jimmy, but I was completely smooth last night. Mark my words.”
“Yeah, right. He probably thought you were totally sad and desperate.” James rolled his eyes.
“Like you are for poor Miss Evans over here?” He punctuated the statement with a snap.
“Not me.” James snapped. “Snape is. He’s mooning over her, practically. Can’t he get a hint? Barking up the wrong tree, he is.”
Snape raised his eyes from the book he was reading to glare at James. “We were just friends, Potter. Unlike you, I have other interests outside of girls and partying. My studies, for one, which is why I’m currently ahead of you in class.”
“By half a point, Snape, which is currently in participation. Who even participates in class?”
“Clearly not you two.” Arthur frowned. “If you could take your conversation somewhere else--” He paused as James actually got up. “Sit back down. Maybe talk it over later?”
Snape snickered and returned to his book - which was, upon closer inspection, not actually for any class he was taking.
“The answer to your question was that persuasive essays should be personal, but not so personal that your opinion colors everything you say.” Lily said, belatedly raising her hand.
Peter also raised his hand, although only halfway. “They also need to include facts and evidence to back them up. You can’t just state an opinion and not support it.”
“Very good, Peter and Lily!” Arthur looked slightly bewildered, as if he was entirely unfamiliar with his questions actually being answered. “You’re entirely right.”
“Teacher’s pet.” James muttered, kicking the leg of Peter’s desk.
Peter squeaked as the desk moved under him. He shrunk in his seat, looking hurt. “I-I just… well, I knew the answer, so…”
“‘Ey, James, don’t go picking on Petey just ‘cause you got caught.” Sirius grinned.
“That’s not the only reason.” James muttered, putting his head down on his desk. “This class blows.”
“There you guys are!” Frank called out, as his three roommates trudged in. “Thought you all had gotten lost somewhere. Or eaten.”
“Jesus, Frankie, it was just First Year Writing.” James blew a raspberry before climbing up to his bed, which was just above Sirius’. Sirius had lost the Pre-Moving In Lightsaber Duel, and, as such, ended up with the bottom bunk.
Sirius chuckled as he slid into the rolling chair at his desk. “I don’t know about eaten, but Jimmy here did almost get chewed out by the teacher. It’s a good thing Mr. Weasley’s kind of a pushover.”
“Our Jamie’s always been a fighter.” Frank chuckled. “Let’s not forget the Bees Incident of ‘02.”
Peter shuddered. “I wish I could forget…”
“Speaking of forgetting”, Frank threw a sock at James, who got hit full in the face, “we have a hall meeting tonight. The RA wants to talk to everyone on the floor. Give us rules and stuff.”
“I don’t want to get out of bed ever again.” James groaned. “Or at least not for a bit, ‘cause I have Chem Lab for three hours and I’m going to spend them all puking at the sight of Snape’s ugly mug.”
“Don’t worry, mate. We’ll cover for you.” Sirius said. “It shouldn’t be too much, anyway - probably just basic stuff, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t set anything on fire. Pretty average.”
“Our RA’s a dude, so only Sirius cares, really.” James rolled his eyes before stuffing his head into his pillow. “It’s only the first week and I already want to roll straight into hell.”
“Excuse me, Jimmy boy, it only matters to me if he’s a hot dude.”
“If you’d check your email more often, Siri, you’d know.” Frank chuckled. “Not going to lie, he’s quite the looker.”
“I’m going to call Alice!” James declared, rolling over. “Tell her you’re cheating on her with him!”
“No need, she thinks he’s cute too.”
“A looker, you say?” Sirius pulled down his shutter shades, intrigued. “Well, I was going to attend on behalf of my dear friend James here, but if you put it that way…”
“Oh! That’s right!” Peter piped up. “I should make sure the RA has the notice that I’m allowed to keep Scabbers.” Almost as if in response to his name, the pet rat in a cage on Peter’s desk poked his head out of his hiding place and looked around.
“Scabbers isn’t harmful or anything.” Frank shrugged, turning to smile at his fish, which was swimming happily in its regulation ten gallon tank. “Isn’t that right, Bruce?”
“Yeah, but ordinarily we’re not supposed to have anything that can… well, walk around I guess. If I weren’t in vet tech, they probably wouldn’t let me have him here.”
“So, when are we meeting this supposedly-handsome RA, then?” Sirius interrupted. “Soon, I hope.”
“Six-thirty. And it’s three now, so soon-ish.”
“It’s three?” James sat up suddenly, bumping his head hard on the ceiling. “Mother--”
“Flippin babies.” Frank supplied smoothly, always one to provide alternatives to bad language.
“Six-thirty? That’s hardly soon-ish.” Sirius spun around in his chair. “That’s like, three and half hours. What am I going to do to occupy my time until then? Work?”
“You could try, I guess.” Frank scratched his head, retrieving his pencil from where he’d placed it above his ear. “I mean, it’s the first week. Can’t be that hard.”
“Pfffffft.” Sirius waved a hand dismissively. “I ain’t got nothing, man. I mean, I’ve got like maybe one paper due next week, but it’ll probably kill like two hours, tops.”
Peter chuckled slightly. “Maybe you should get a hobby outside of flirting.”
“Petey, my boy, why would I need anything more from life?”
Sirius sauntered into the floor lobby and stopped the moment he saw the RA standing in the room. “Ha! When I said I’d be seeing you again, I certainly didn’t think it’d be this soon! How’s it hangin’, Remus Lupin?”
“I’m doing alright, Sirius Black.” Remus grinned. “I hardly thought you were that first year everyone was complaining about, but I guess they were right.”
“H-hey! I’m not that bad. Probably. I mean, I’ve only been here a week, I haven’t had time to get up to… er…. that is, I certainly don’t know why you’d get that impression.”
At the point, Peter slipped past him into the room. “Oh, it’s Remus again! We just keep running into you, don’t we? So you’re the RA?”
“I’m your RA for the year, yeah.” Remus looked around the room, doing a quick headcount before calling everyone’s attention. “Hey, everybody. My name’s Remus Lupin and I live at the north end of the hall. I’m going to be your RA for the year. We do have some rules--”
Peter raised his hand nervously and sidled up to the front of the room. “Um, I uh, sorry to interrupt, it’s just, I’ve got this note from Housing, I want to make sure I get it to you before, uh…”
“I’ll take a look at it!” Remus nodded. “Anyway, there is to be no drinking or smoking--” A loud groan from one of the freshmen in the corner cut him off, and Remus barely suppressed the urge to shoot one of several rude hand gestures the student’s way. “Inside your rooms. I’m not responsible for what you do anywhere else.”
Sirius elbowed Frank and muttered, “That’s what fraternities are for. And Fabian Prewett.”
“The guy from ASS?” Frank raised an eyebrow. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to know.”
“Please, Frank. There’s nothing shady about the incredibly dignified fraternity Alpha Sigma Sigma, and I am hurt that you with assume otherwise.” Sirius considered for a moment. “You’re probably on the money with Fab, though.”
“I’m always on the money.” Frank deadpanned.
“Your roommate agreement forms are on the table near the door. Please have all inhabitants of your room sign it and return them by next Tuesday. Other than that, you’re all free to mingle or something. I’ve got homework, so I’ll be in and out. Have a nice night!”
“What do they want us to agree to?” Frank frowned. “It’s probably stuff like bedtimes and things, but…”
“Bedtimes? Ha!” Sirius adjusted his shades with a grin. “Frankie, I intend to stay up all night.”
Peter, who had actually picked up one of the forms, cut in. “It looks like stuff what is shared and what isn’t. I guess it’s so if anyone is being a jerk, we can prove that they agreed to not be a jerk beforehand.”
“That sounds like an entirely unreasonable demand to make, Petey.” Sirius shook his head. “But I suppose I can be convinced to agree to non-jerkdom, in the realm of our room at least.”
“You’ll have to sign it, then, you know.” Frank sighed. “Come on, we’ve got to deal with James griping about Snape on top of all of this. If you’re done paying your respects to Lupin’s ass, we’ll get going.”
“Hey, hey, shh!” Sirius glanced nervously at their RA, who was still in the room. “Ix-nay on the, uh, ay-gay. Don’t wanna scare him off, man.” There was a moment or two before he continued. “And there is plenty to like about him apart from his ass, you know. He’s got some nice--”
“Don’t wanna know, Sirius.” Peter interrupt, marching his way out of the room without looking at them.
“That’ll be going on the roommate agreement.” Frank snorted. “Ix-nay on the ay-gay.”
Sirius hunched his shoulders and shuffled out. “And here I thought, out of anybody, I could count on one of you to be my wingman…”