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Katsuki awoke in a cold sweat in the dead of night, as he often does lately. Plagued by nightmares, screaming people, blood on their faces. Lost lives and futures.
Lost children.
Lost fathers.
Lost mothers
and grandparents alike.
It wasn’t his fault; he knows that. There was nothing he could’ve done, but that fact doesn’t erase the noise in his head or the blood he sees on his hands.
He wakes up and stares into the softly-illuminated room, a tear finding its way through his lashes and rolling down his face, before hitting the fabric beneath him.
His gaze shifts from the wall in front of him to the figure sitting at their desk, working late into the night once again - filling in reports and checking their gear, mumbling away into the otherwise silent room.
He watches Deku’s unruly curls bounce slightly with every move, whether it be a scratch of his head or simply writing down his notes. The light illuminates his frame just right, making him look like an angel in Katsuki’s eyes. Though, when does he not?
The soft orange glow calms him. Deku specifically chose a bulb that wasn’t too bright, that gives off just the right shine to make the room look warmer. Katsuki didn’t care then, but he thanks the god and heavens for giving him a husband like that, now.
Or maybe it’s just Deku, illuminating every room he steps in, smiling brightly and offering encouragement.
Katsuki closes his eyes, listening to the unintelligible mumbling of his husband, letting it fill his head. He falls asleep then once more.
Only, half an hour later, the nightmares get to him again. When he wakes up, he’s facing the other side. He can see Deku’s shadow against the door and wall, curls still bouncing, mumbles still filling the space.
It’s fine, he thinks.
Everything is alright, he’s safe.
Katsuki turns around.
Deku doesn’t move or look up at the sound of rustling sheets, just continues to work away.
A paper sheet flutters from time to time.
Katsuki continues to watch his illuminated figure.
Their room is big, but now it feels small and cozy, Katsuki cocooned in his thick blankets, storing every kind of warmth he can get.
The blankets smell like Deku. He sniffs at them idly, as he snuggles further into them.
Katsuki is glad he’s on leave, glad his agency forced him to stay home. He never knew how much he needed this: to wake up in the dead of night to silently watch his husband work, unaware of any audience. Just him being himself. Now, with everything that happened, he’s scared to see Deku leave through their door. It hurts and he wants to hold him back, to plead:
‘Don’t go out there. It’s dangerous.’
It’s a stupid thought, though. Because Deku is strong. He can do it. And he has to do his job, has to be allowed to follow his passion for helping people. Still, it had been hard the first few days. Katsuki would panic as soon as Deku so much as got close to the door. He’d throw himself all over him to stop him, he’d cry and thrash and beg like he hasn’t done once, not even for his life.
Because he was so scared Deku might end up like the countless faces in his dreams. Because he was so scared to stay alone at home with the rushing thoughts in his mind, that he couldn’t shut up no matter what he tried to occupy himself with.
He should make a new appointment with his therapist, he decides, as Deku flaps arm like a baby chick its wings before stifling a sneeze.
He never thought he’d need one, figured it was a useless waste of time, but Deku convinced him to go with an open mind and he did. And looking back, he can’t understand why he was so surprised by the results. Deku said it should be good for him.
If Deku says so, then it’s usually right.
And it was.
He smiles when Deku stretches, bones cracking in the process, and then tilts his head from one side to the other, relaxing his muscles from hours of writing. He then gets up and puts all of his writing tools away before switching off the desk lamp to stumble over to the bed in the dark. Katsuki giggles into his blankets, when he feels the bed being shaken ever so slightly, followed by a hissed curse as Deku hops a few steps away, probably holding his stubbed toe.
Then he turns on his bedside lamp, soft light illuminating the room once more. Katsuki can hear the rustling of clothes, as Deku changes into his nightwear, before he slips under the covers and turns off the light.
Just a second later, Katsuki already feels strong arms wrap around him, one slipping between his neck and the mattress, the other tucked around his waist, fingers brushing over his heart as Deku pulls Katsuki flush against his chest. He can feel Deku pushing his nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent deeply, pressing a few featherlight kisses to his neck and cheek, before resting back, pressing him close once more and then settling down for the night.
Idiot probably didn’t even realize Katsuki was awake.
It makes him tear up a bit.
Before he could stop himself, a tear drips onto Deku’s arm, a soft sob escaping along with it.
“Kacchan?” Deku immediately asks. “You okay?” He whispers ever so softly into his ear, as he kisses the tip of it and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
Really, how did he deserve a husband like him?
Katsuki nods, as he gulps and turns around, arm lifting to reach around Deku’s broad shoulders and accept the kiss on his lips. Deku lifts a hand to cradle Katsuki’s face, caressing him.
He used to hate this so much. Hated to feel so weak and vulnerable. Hated to need, to want, a soft touch on his battered skin. Now he can’t live without it.
Katsuki sobs when he tries to open his mouth and say something. Fuck, he’s so weak like this. It’s too late in the night. He’s too strung out, too exhausted.
Deku soothes him with soft hushes and humming,more kisses trailing lightly over his nose and cheeks. Lips gently resting on his forehead, Izuku brings his hand up to stroke over Katsuki’s hair and scratch his scalp with careful movements, trying to calm his continued sobs.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s fine. Shhh.” He whispers, leaning down once more to press his lips against Katsuki’s.
It’s so late, Katsuki thinks. Nobody is here, nobody there to disturb them. No reporters, no flashing lights.
No vengeful screaming or hateful words.
He can let himself fall and nobody would be there to judge him.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he admits, the words so quiet they’re more like a breath.
“I always will be,” Deku answers, hugging him tightly, pressing more lingering kisses along his jawline, prompting a shiver to run through the blonde, goosebumps raising on his arms. Katsuki exposes his neck so readily he’d be embarrassed by it only a few years back.
He can’t bring himself to care now.
And Deku never did either way. He simply dives in, pressing more kisses and kitten-licks against him, biting lightly and leaving subtle marks that will fade by morning. Katsuki whimpers and still doesn’t care, just accepts what’s given to him.
His body presses against Deku, a silent plea, but it’s not enough.
“Deku, please.”
“Hm?”
“Let me feel you,” He cries, more tears falling freely. Deku kisses them away with tenderness, before moving to lie beside Katsuki, thumb wiping away the tears before entangling their hands.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” Deku whispers and Katsuki shudders at the pet name, another whimper falling from his lips . He never thought he’d be like this, never thought he’d need that, but the pet name has him writhing and whimpering in the sheets while his entire being screams for Deku to hold him closer and closer, to kiss him deeper, to caress him softer and to make him forget anything else exists.
And Deku does. Always, without fail. Makes him forget his name and who he is, makes him forget he has responsibilities and people to come back to. It doesn’t matter in the dead of night. Nobody is calling them now. Nobody needs them now. They only need each other.
Katsuki’s still laying on his side and Deku reaches for his face again, turning it gently towards him to kiss him on the lips, before traveling lower and over his shoulders, living a sweet trail of lingering touches and blossoming bruises.
Deku’s other hand comes up to stroke his body, fingertips ghosting over skin covered in goosebumps. The hand travels lower, reaching past his waist and resting on top of his hips for a few moments.
Kneading the skin and stroking it, then traveling towards his front to engulf Katsuki’s slowly hardening dick in his hot palms.
He gasps out at that, head rolling back and bumping against Deku’s shoulder. He leans down to press more kisses to his lips and cheeks, to his forehead and wet eyes. His hand is steady in its path as he pumps his member slowly, but with just enough pressure to make Katsuki roll his eyes back and his hand grip the pillow under his head a bit tighter. He whimpers again when Deku’s thumb brushes over his slit and he sucks on his neck at the same time, already wanting to thrust into his hand but feeling too weak in his own body to do so.
Deku continues working him up and down and kissing him for a few more moments till Katsuki’s breathing gets shallow and he starts pressing against the body behind him subconsciously.
Then, the hand pulls back, making Katsuki whine miserably and then gasp and whimper when Deku pushes a slick finger against his rim, slowly circling it while watching Katsuki’s face for any discomfort.
Katsuki just opens his mouth wider, more gasps escaping and turning his neck so he can search out his husband’s lips, which Deku happily gives him. Their lips move against each other like a dance, a symphony of moans filling the room, as well as the sound of slick as Deku pushes one finger in to prepare Katsuki.
During his stay at home Katsuki had needed a lot of comfort sex, needing to always feel his husband right next to him, to feel reassured and cared for like he probably never needed in his life before. Which was new to say the least but if it helped him cope Deku would never turn him down.
It also left Katsuki relaxed and more open, with less time needed for prep , so when Katsuki’s gasping into his mouth, begging for more: more warmth, more pleasure, deeper, faster, he quickly takes out his fingers, lubing up his already leaking cock that has been pressing against Katsuki’s back for the last few minutes, and guiding it between Katsuki’s cheeks, while pressing more kisses and soft bites to his shoulder.
Katsuki pulls up his leg instinctively, when he feels Deku pushing in, a broken whimper leaving him when he bottoms out. Deku doesn’t pull out just yet, leaving them both to soak in the feeling of each other, gasping into each other’s mouths and breathing each other's air.
Katsuki reaches for him, hand tangling in unruly curls as he pulls him down for a deep kiss, neck craning to reach the sweet lips. Deku’s hand grips onto his Kacchan’s waist tightly, probably leaving marks neither care about as they drink each other up. Katsuki lets him lick into his mouth, lets him consume him from the inside out, rearrange his body, mind and soul as his own name slips away on his lips, only being able to chant “Deku, Deku, Deku.”
He can’t hear a thing in the world beside the soft mumbling of Deku’s voice. What he’s saying, he doesn’t even know, only hearing bits and pieces of “perfect, doing so good, so beautiful” and “mine, mine, mine” and that’s honestly enough to keep him writhing and panting against Deku’s lips, so much that he cries out when Deku rolls his hips to press into him again, suddenly remembering the dick inside him and feeling so full.
Full of Deku, full of his words, his love, his soul, his everything. So much it’s overflowing in the form of tears escaping through his lashes and unnaturally high whines that Deku drinks up like a starving man.
“Don’t leave, don’t leave, please,” He finds himself saying, not conscious enough anymore to understand why.
“Ssh, it’s okay, I never will, never, shh”.
Deku pushes his leg up as well, resting under Katsuki’s, rolling their hips towards the bed so that Katsuki’s cock keeps brushing against the sheets, making him see stars with every push and drag Deku does. Broken moans continue echoing in the room as Deku moves his hips against his own carefully, kissing him more and deeper, breathing hard into his ear and nose brushing against a sweat-streaked forehead, hand coming up to grip in blonde spikes as his own moans pick up.
Katsuki can’t tell apart up from down, as he’s enveloped by Deku and his all-encompassing warmth. He’s being kissed and bruised, licked and pushed and bitten while he’s unable to do anything but weakly whimper out his pleasure.
He cries out when Deku bites into his shoulder hard, but he doesn’t care about the pain, when a hand trails over his neck to curl around his throat. It’s just a gentle touch, not pressing or applying any kind of force, but Katsuki still bares his throat, head falling back against Deku’s shoulder as he pushes into him just right and Katsuki whines high and needy for his husband who litters his bared throat with kisses and gentle bruises.
Katsuki is drunk on him.
Everything around him swims in pleasure as Deku’s pace picks up and he’s held around his throat so securely. He can’t speak anymore, only garbled sounds leaving him with broken sobs and moans. Broken chants of “Deku” and “Izuku” as every sound and every thought is silenced into nothingness, disappearing in the bottomless pit of the night.
He barely registers a kiss being pressed to his ear, before Deku whispers something into it, but Katsuki can’t understand the words over the rush of pleasure befalling his entire body.
He’s being pressed into the mattress, Deku weighing down on him, cradling him into his arms and he wants to stay there forever as Deku moans out his pleasure into Katsuki’s ear.
He rolls his eyes back at the sound, oversensitive dick brushing against the sheets still and then Deku’s movements slowly come to a halt, but he doesn’t leave. He still holds him close, still breathes into his neck and litters every patch of skin with kisses.
Katsuki can't complain. Not when he feels like he's in heaven’s arms. He feels warm and sated all over; big hands stroking his aching muscles and soft lips tracing invisible lines.
He doesn't complain when he's moved, only grunting when some of the warmth leaves him for a second, but it's alright because he still feels warm inside and out.
He notices Deku turning him on his back again and nuzzling against his side, a strong arm draping around his body.
All other sensations are lost to him afterwards. Simply feeling an all-encompassing warmth radiating from his husband. And for this night, his nightmares have lost to the radiating sun that is Deku. Just like they have every night before. And Katsuki knows, soon he will be able to defeat them himself. But for now, this is fine, he guesses.