Chapter Text
‘Bakugou suffered an accident. You need to come back. Now.’ is what Ochako told him. Izuku didn’t ask any other questions; he just hopped on the first plane back to Japan he could, heart heavy with worry.
Five years. It’s been five years since Izuku has last seen Kacchan face to face, in their graduation party. Less than a week after that, Izuku moved to the US, following All Might’s steps in his path to becoming a hero. Five years since Izuku’s biggest defeat in life, when he lost his courage to confess and left the country without being truthful about his feelings for Kacchan.
Now, his mind is filled with ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’. Now, he may arrive too late and Kacchan may be gone without Izuku ever finding the courage to confess how much he loves the man; how he has loved Kacchan since they were stupid kids, running through the woods together.
Not that Izuku thinks it’d have made any difference. Izuku knows Kacchan doesn’t love him back and that they could never be more than the friendly rivals they came to be in high school. But being away hasn’t even scratched Izuku’s feelings for his friend, so he might as well have stayed, and maybe he’d have been there for Kacchan when a villain took the upper hand against him.
Or, at the very least, he could have come back earlier. It’s been a while since he noticed he had nothing left to learn in America that he couldn’t keep learning in Japan. He doesn’t even know why he hadn’t gone back yet — probably a mixture of being comfortable in his American life with anxiety about starting all over in Japan. Even though he has been to Japan a few times on quick vacations to see his mother and close friends, it’s different.
If Izuku had come back for real, there would be no keeping his distance from Ground Zero, the number three hero.
Now, as every second inside the plane stretches to unbelievable lengths, his fears seem so small.
Sure, he’d feel the heartbreak of seeing first-hand Kacchan being an adult, dating, having fun; but that wouldn’t last for long. Izuku is sure he’d be able to reign in his stormy feelings and, eventually, reestablish his friendly rivalry with Kacchan. If he had done that two years ago, maybe now he wouldn’t have to wonder if he’d arrive in time to say a last goodbye to his friend.
The second the plane lands, Izuku grabs his bag and runs to the hospital. He’ll have to thank Ochako for having the presence of mind to send him the information of where Kacchan was being treated during Izuku’s flight. He’ll have to thank Ochako for a lot of things — his best friend was probably the only one to remember to call Izuku during this crisis.
Or, at least, that’s what he thought — but the relieved expression that comes to Ashido’s face when she sees Izuku in the hospital lobby tells a different story.
“Deku! You’re here! Finally!” the girl says before hugging Izuku tightly. “We were waiting for you! He’s going crazy with worry…”’
“Hey, Ashido,” Izuku pats her back gently. “I’m here. How is Kacchan? Who is worried?” he asks, confused at what she said.
Ashido pulls back with a surprised expression. “They haven’t told you?”
“Told me what? How is Kacchan, Ashido?” Izuku’s voice takes a desperate tone when she doesn’t answer his question promptly. “Where is he? He didn’t-”
Izuku couldn’t finish the last phrase. Luckily, he doesn’t have to.
“Oh! No, no! He’s fine! I mean, he’ll be fine! Baku is a tough nut to crack,” the girl offers him a supportive smile. “Bakugou got a little banged up, but he’s supposed to make a full recovery.”
Overwhelmed with the news, Izuku sighs in relief and closes his eyes to keep the thankful tears at bay. Kacchan will be alright. Everything will be just fine. Kacchan isn’t under any risk and he’ll be alright.
“Thank you…” he whispers to the woman.
“Ah… Maybe we should talk,” Ashido says awkwardly. “I thought Ochako had told you everything, but…”
“I- She didn’t have time,” Izuku says shaking his head. “I got her news and just ran here as fast as I could.”
“Yeah… And maybe she thought this was not something that should be said over the phone…” Ashido mumbles as if she’s thinking out loud.
“Ashido? What’s going on?” It’s hard to feel reassured that Kacchan will be alright when their friend still looks so anxious.
Ashido sighs deeply before looking up to him with renewed energy. “Let’s talk. I need to explain a few things to you.”
Izuku follows her to the hospital’s cafeteria where Ashido buys them tea — all of Izuku’s money is still in dollars, he didn’t have time to exchange currency after arriving in Japan. Anxiety twists inside Izuku’s gut like a snake. Ashido is making such big suspense about what happened to Kacchan that Izuku can’t help but think the worst — Kacchan could have lost a limb, or his vision, or any number of faculties that could mean the end of his hero career.
Or maybe it’s something related to the villain who Kacchan was fighting. The villain’s quirk can have left a lasting effect on Kacchan. There are all types of quirks in the world, Izuku can’t even begin to estimate how much damage the villain may have caused.
“It’s not the villain’s quirk,” Ashido interrupts Izuku’s thoughts, indicating that he must have been mumbling.
“I’m sorry. You know, old habits…” he explains awkwardly.
“I know,” she smiles with understanding. “You grow up all big and strong, but you’re still the little Midoriya I met in UA! Let me tell you what happened to calm you down a little. Ground Zero was called to deal with a quirk that went haywire. An abusive father was attacking a mother over jealousy. Their four years old daughter was in the apartment and her quirk manifested because she thought her mother was getting seriously hurt.”
It breaks Izuku’s heart to imagine the panic the young girl must have been feeling that it led to her quirk putting them in danger like that.
“Turns out the girl’s quirk makes steel become like jelly. They were in a fifteen-story high building that instantly became compromised. There were over a hundred people in the building.” Izuku’s anguish from hearing such a story must have become clear on his face because Ashido feels the need to reassure him. “Ground Zero had to fly fast, but he managed to get almost everyone out. All the kids that lived there were brought to safety and most people barely had scratches.”
“Almost?” Izuku whispers and Ashido winces.
“There was a janitor cleaning the underground parking lot. He… Bakugou reached him just as the building was collapsing. Ground Zero tried exploding a hole through the falling debris to not let anything fall on the man and he almost managed to. But the last two stories of the building were too much for him and both of them were buried under the rubble.”
Izuku’s breathing stops as he hears it. How can Kacchan be alright after all of this?!
“Other heroes were already at the scene when all of that happened. Uravity was one of the heroes who helped clear away the rubble and both of them were rushed to the hospital. The old janitor, unfortunately, didn’t make it,” she explains heavily. “And Bakugou… He’s taken a beating, don’t get me wrong. But the doctors believe he’ll make a full physical recovery in due time.”
“What do you mean ‘physical’?” Izuku asks with a small, terrified voice.
“He-... He has a concussion, a really serious one. He has been having memory issues and he’s truly confused about some things. Still, the doctors believe it isn’t a definitive condition, he’ll get better with time.”
“So he’s awake?” Hope is clear in Izuku’s voice.
“He is. Awake and making every nurse here crazy,” Ashido says chuckling, but then continues more somberly. “But he’s not totally alright yet and we need to be careful with how we handle him right now. He’s confused and he believes some things that aren’t true, but the doctors told us to not correct him because the strain of his brain trying to reach the right information could make him worse or even make the damage permanent.”
Nodding, Izuku jokes. “So what? We can’t contradict anything Kacchan says to not set him off? That should be easy, we’ve all been doing that since high school.”
But Ashido doesn’t laugh. “Yeah… It’s not as easy, Mido… He… Damn, there’s no easy way of saying this,” she curses, shaking her head. “He believes you and him are engaged.”
“What?” Izuku asks, chuckling, confused. He heard the words, they just don’t make any sense.
“He thinks you two are in a romantic relationship and that you two are engaged to get married,” she says, apologetically. “I don’t understand it either. The doctors don’t have an explanation as to why his confusion manifested this way. It just did and now he’s raising havoc, asking why you’re not there by his side.”
The words pass by Izuku’s brain but he barely registers them. This can’t be true. There’s absolutely no way this is true. He and Kacchan engaged? There’s no way Kacchan’s brain would ever come up with that, even being seriously banged up. But, at the same time, Ashido says Kacchan is demanding to see him and Izuku can never say no to Kacchan.
“I need to see him,” Izuku states, leaving no room to debate.
For a second, Ashido looks a bit unsure about that, but she soon acquiesces. “Yes, of course… I’ll take you to his room.”
Izuku’s brain, usually so loud and busy, is drawing a complete blank as they walk through the hospital’s hallways. It’s almost an out-of-body experience. He doesn’t feel really in the moment, it’s like he’s watching it all unfold as a spectator.
There’s no mistaking which door is Kacchan’s because Izuku can hear him arguing with his mother from the hallway. “I don’t fucking care, you damn hag! I’m not eating this goddamn tasteless porridge!”
Just hearing Kacchan’s voice sounding so strong and healthy fills Izuku’s heart with hope again. But as he reaches for the doorknob, Ashido stops him.
“Midoriya,” she calls his attention. “Don’t forget what the doctors said: just go along with everything he says. If you correct him, he may have permanent brain damage.”
Izuku nods, “Yeah. I won’t forget it.” And then, he enters the room.
Inside, Mitsuki seems to be struggling with her son, trying to make him eat his lunch. Kirishima is there too, sitting on the other corner of the room. Kacchan is in bed, one whole arm in a cast and the other with just his hand wrapped. He also has bandages around his head and peeking through his collar. But he seems well enough. His face has a healthy flush from anger and he looks energetic enough.
As Izuku and Ashido enter, the fighting between mother and son stops, and everyone falls in silence, just waiting for Kacchan’s reaction.
“There you fucking are!” Katsuki barks loudly. “What the fuck took you so long?”
Kacchan is looking straight at Izuku, ignoring everyone else in the room, so there’s no doubt to who he’s talking to.
“I- I came as fast as I could,” Izuku answers, dumbfounded. “How- how are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling like my goddamn fiance took his fucking sweet time coming to see me after finding out I got crushed by a whole-ass building,” he grumbles, pouting.
Kacchan is pouting. Kacchan is pouting because he thinks Izuku should have arrived sooner to see him. It’s like nothing in the world makes sense anymore.
“I-I’m sorry,” Izuku stutters. “I- I was a-away…”
“The idiots already told me you were on a mission,” Katsuki mumbles. “Stop being so fucking weird and come greet me, damn nerd. Usually, I can’t peel your whiny, crybaby ass away from me after I get a scratch and now I almost kick the bucket and you’re staying on the other side of the room?!”
In stunned silence, Izuku approaches Katsuki’s bed. ‘He’s confused. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He doesn’t know what’s happening. You can’t fuck this up. If you fuck this up, you may hurt him.’ These thoughts run through Izuku’s mind in a vertiginous loop.
Mitsuki wordlessly steps away, making room for Izuku. His eyes drink every little bruise and bandage on Kacchan’s body. It seems his whole chest is wrapped in bandages beneath the flimsy hospital robe and ugly shades of green and purple paint his skin. But none of it changes how unfairly handsome Kacchan has become. He was always beautiful in Izuku’s eyes, but now — after filling up his adolescent body with hard muscles and sharp angles — he’s simply stunning.
“Hey, I’m fine,” Kacchan whispers in the most gentle tone Izuku has ever heard him using. And even more gently, he tries to reach for Izuku’s hand even though his own hand is completely wrapped in bandages. “Don’t look as if you were expecting to find my ghost here… You know I’d never leave you alone.”
The overwhelming emotions Izuku has been feeling since Ochako called him finally reach their limit and spill from his eyes in fat tears. A hiccup breaks through his throat as Izuku confesses the truth in his heart. “I was so fucking scared, Kacchan,” he whispers in a broken voice. “I- I thought-”
Katsuki awkwardly hugs Izuku with his free arm and pulls him down until Izuku is leaning on his chest. “I know… I know… My damn crybaby…” Kacchan whispers lovingly. “I was freaked out too when I woke up and you weren’t here…”
“I’m so-sorry,” Izuku sobs. And he is so incredibly sorry Kacchan woke up hurt and confused, after such a traumatic event, wanting to see Izuku and he wasn’t there to offer support to his friend.
“It’s fine… You’re here now.” Kacchan gives a small kiss on Izuku’s temple before turning to the other people in the room. “You all see? He’s here now! You all can leave me the fuck alone! Go away and take this disgusting grub with you!”
Mitsuki sighs tiredly and shakes her head. “You’ve gotta eat what the hospital serves you, brat. You won’t get better if you don’t nourish your body, you know that.”
“Deku will take me home now and I’ll eat there,” Katsuki answers her.
“You ain’t going home, Katsuki. You're hurt and you’ll stay here acting like the bedridden menace that you are!”
“Fuck no! I’m going home! I’m tired of staying in this hellhole! Deku can watch over me until I’m back on my feet!”
Thankfully, Kacchan is so busy trading jabs with his mother that he doesn’t see Izuku’s eyes growing huge in realization. Kacchan really thinks they’re engaged.
“Bro, you know it’s the doctor who will decide that,” Kirishima tries intervening.
“But Deku will talk to the fucker now!” Katsuki states without a shadow of a doubt. And, when everyone looks at Izuku anxiously, Kacchan completes with a small “Aren’t you?” to Izuku.
“I- I think I need to talk to the doctor, Kacchan,” he tries diverging. “We don’t want to make anything that can hinder your recovery.”
That seems to be the right answer for now, since Mitsuki and Katsuki nod in agreement.
“I’ll go with you,” Mitsuki says with a gentle smile. “I know which doctor you need to talk to. Kirishima, can you help the brat finish his food?”
“I can try?” Kirishima says with a forced smile. From Kacchan’s expression, he doesn’t have an easy task ahead of him.
As Izuku turns to leave the room, a bandaged hand tries to stop him. “Don’t fucking go missing again, stupid nerd,” Katsuki mumbles to Izuku.
“I’ll be right back, Kacchan,” Izuku tries to offer a reassuring smile, but he doesn’t think he achieved that.
Still, Katsuki lets him leave and Izuku follows Mitsuki down the hallway.
“Thank you so much for coming, Izuku,” she starts as soon as they’re sure to be out of Kacchan’s earshot. “I know you were all the way in America working… We wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t critical.”
“No need to thank me. I’m glad I was called,” Izuku says truthfully. “I’d hate to hear about this on the news…”
“You grew up so much! So big and strong!” she says with a tired smile. “I hope you’re not giving your mother the heart attacks the brat gives me.”
“I- I try my best?” he chuckles. Honestly, Izuku and his mother are lucky that she doesn’t speak English and can’t read American newspapers.
“He does too… But he works too much, always obsessed with the damn rank,” Mitsuki shakes her head, frustrated. “He barely has time to call me… I knew something like this would happen someday. The brat is always putting his well being on the least priority…”
Izuku doesn’t know what to say to the suffering mother. It’s not like he is a good example of work-life balance. Luckily, they reach the doctor’s room before he needs to give any input.
“Doctor Kobayashi?” Mitsuki knocks. “Can we talk to you?”
A middle-aged man with deep wrinkles welcomes them to his office as Mitsuki introduces Izuku and says a few pleasantries.
“So, doctor, Izuku is the one Katsuki thinks he’s engaged with.”
“Right, right. Heard a lot about you, Midoriya. And how long since you last talked to each other before this?”
“Ah- About five years. We haven’t spoken since graduation…” Izuku confesses awkwardly.
“Quite a situation, indeed,” the doctor nods. “I imagine you have questions.”
“Ye-yeah… Do you know how long the… Confusion will last?” he asks.
“There’s no way of knowing for sure,” Kobayashi shakes his head. “We had quirk healers work on him during the four days he was in a coma, so his body is almost all healed. But the brain is a finicky organ. We can’t use quirks when it’s so scrambled because the quirk-healers won’t know what goes where, what connects where inside his mind. The only one who knows that for sure is Ground Zero’s brain itself.”
“But he’ll get better, right?” Izuku can’t help questioning.
“We have all the reasons to believe that yes, he’ll get back to normal eventually. But if it’ll take a week, a month, or a year… Then it’s just guesswork,” the doctor shrugs.
“And he’ll stay in the hospital until that happens?” There’s no way Kacchan will accept to stay a whole year in the hospital. He’ll explode a hole in the wall to get away!
The doctor shares a look with Mitsuki before answering. “If we were analyzing just his physical health, I’d send him home today to be under his mother’s care. We all know Ground Zero’s stress levels are higher at the hospital than at home and this will just hinder his recovery at this point. However,” Kobayashi sighs before continuing. “Ground Zero knows he doesn’t live with his mother. He’s been talking about you since he woke up, saying ‘Deku’ will take him to their home. If he were to be taken with Mrs. Bakugou, the questions about why you aren’t with him and why he can’t go home will naturally arise. And the strain of his mind trying to understand what’s happening can lead to more brain damage.”
“And the damage can be permanent,” Izuku completes, remembering Ashido’s words.
“We can’t know for sure, but it’s very likely. There are precedent cases where that happened,” the doctor agrees.
With all that information, there’s no doubt in Izuku’s mind what needs to be done. “I’ll take him home and look after him until he gets better.”
“Izuku…” Mitsuki whispers. “I can’t ask you to do that… We don’t know how long-”
But Izuku’s mind is made up. “Exactly. We don’t know how long he’ll be like this. He can’t stay in the hospital much longer. Anyone can see he’s close to exploding from the stress,’ he states with certainty before letting his feelings slip in his voice. “And… It’s Kacchan… If I can help him get better, I’ll do it. No matter how hard it is.”
And it’ll be hard. It’ll probably be the hardest thing Izuku has ever done in his life.
Kacchan will be the worst patient in the world; he’ll not rest and recover easily as he should. He’ll put on fights every step of the way. Not only that, it’ll also be emotionally hard on Izuku. He’ll have to move in with Katsuki and pretend to be his fiance, even though they haven’t even spoken to each other in five years.
Izuku will have to pretend to have everything he has ever wanted — and, at the same time, pray for Kacchan to get better even knowing that when he does, Izuku’s dream life will come to an end.
It’s also likely that after recovering, Kacchan will never again talk to Izuku. He’s a proud and stubborn man; he’ll hate knowing Izuku lied to him when he was in such a delicate situation.
Still, Izuku knows that’s what has to be done. Kacchan’s recovery is more important than Izuku’s feelings. There’s no doubt in Izuku’s mind that this is the right course of action and he’ll do it.
Mitsuki still weakly tries to tell Izuku he doesn’t have to do it — but Izuku can see the thankfulness and relief in her eyes. She’s a mother after all; her biggest priority is making sure her son recovers completely and Izuku understands that.
After that is settled, Kirishima and Ashido are called outside of Katsuki’s room to receive the news. Both of them offer looks on their eyes similar to Mitsuki’s — sorry that Izuku needs to do this, but thankful nonetheless. Kacchan really has some great friends that care deeply about him, and Izuku is happy to see that. Kacchan will need all the support in the world when this all ends and Izuku can’t be with him anymore.
The four of them quickly agree with some backstory to why Izuku was away and other odd things that may make Katsuki doubt the story. Ashido gives Izuku the spare keys she and Kirishima have for Katsuki’s flat. She also promises to call Ochako and get her up to date with the news — Ochako works in the same agency as Katsuki and has been covering his patrols, that’s why she couldn’t be in the hospital that afternoon.
They agree that Kacchan will stay one more day at the hospital to give them all time to cover all their bases and for Izuku to go to his flat, get accustomed to the place and organize his clothes there. He’ll have to thread a very thin line between making the apartment look like Kacchan and Izuku live there, but to change too much of the place is a thing that may raise flags on Katsuki’s brain.
Through the conversation with the others, Izuku again feels like he’s watching it all unfold from the outside. It’s like Hero Deku was given a mission and Izuku is watching him work. He can’t really emotionally process everything he’s going through and will go through by helping Kacchan.
After everything is decided, he enters Kacchan’s room again and the disconnection with the situation gets even worse, because Kacchan smiles at him in a way Izuku never expected to see.
“Finally! I was wondering if you had run away again!”
“I’d never abandon you, you know that,” Izuku says, heart clenching at his own words. What hurts is that these words are true — but he has to pretend they are just part of the acting.
“You better,” Kacchan grumbles, motioning for Izuku to get closer.
With a heavy heart, Izuku approaches the bed and lets Katsuki try to awkwardly snuggle against his belly. “But I’ll have to leave for the night.”
“What? Why? You just fucking got here!” Kacchan protests.
“Don’t you want to go home?” Izuku teases with a small smile. “I was away on a mission, the place is locked for over a week since you got in a coma. I need to go there to make sure everything is alright for you to go home tomorrow.”
Kacchan looks at him with a sore expression. “Fine… But only because I’ll leave this fucking place with you tomorrow.”
“You will. Don’t worry, you’ll spend all your recovering days at home with me taking care of you.” Izuku allows a smile to blossom on his face. He actually likes the idea of taking care of Kacchan when he’s in need.
“Will you put on a sexy nurse costume?” Even though there’s a clear teasing tone in Katsuki’s voice, Izuku blushes a bright red and jumps away.
“Ka-Kacchan!”
Katsuki just laughs in return, and Mitsuki comes to Izuku’s rescue.
“Behave, brat. You’re still banged up and will be in bed getting better, not getting lucky. Now say goodbye to Izuku, Kirishima will give him a ride to your place.”
“Fine, fine,” Kacchan dismisses her and turns to Izuku. “Bye, nerd,” he whispers, raising his head to Izuku in a position that could not be mistaken for anything else — Kaccchan was waiting for a goodbye kiss.
Izuku’s heart does summersaults in his chest and panic fills his gut. He should kiss Kacchan. He knows he should. In Kacchan’s mind, they’re engaged; kissing is a common thing for people in relationships. It would be weird for Izuku to deny him.
However, Izuku can’t wrap his mind around actually kissing Katsuki in front of his mother and their friends so he goes for a cop-out. He gives a closed-mouth peck on the corner of Katsuki’s lips. “Bye, Kacchan. See you tomorrow,” he says quickly and leaves the room before anyone can say anything.
The almost-kiss was hard for Izuku to emotionally accept — but it was still much easier than being alone in Kacchan’s apartment.
It’s extremely disconcerting to be in Katsuki’s space without him there to show the boundaries.
The apartment is very tidy and clean, even after staying abandoned for over a week. Izuku just needs to throw away some rotten food on the fridge and everything else looks fine. He also makes a list of groceries he’ll buy tomorrow morning so that there’s some food for them when Kacchan gets home. Izuku goes through that in the most efficient and clinical way possible.
Clearing a drawer to put his stuff, however, is anything but efficient and clinical. It’s actually awkward and uncomfortable. Izuku has to stop himself from banging his head on the dresser several times. And then he needs to put on his pajamas and settle in bed. In Kacchan’s bed. The sheets still smell like caramel from the nitroglycerin of his quirk even after a week.
Izuku doesn’t sleep much that night. He doesn’t even manage to call his mom — he just sends a text saying he’s in the country for some hero stuff and will talk to her as soon as possible. He hates lying to her, but Izuku doesn’t find it in him to explain his situation to anyone that night. Izuku can’t even explain to himself how the hell he came to accept pretending to be engaged to the man he loves after so many years without seeing him.