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so baby hold me

Summary:

Jisung curls up like it's second nature, remembering how it feels to be in Minho's arms at any time, and he revels painfully in the bittersweet memory.

Notes:

hello there! just a few warnings before we get into this:

i'd like to remind everyone how important aftercare is for both the dom and sub in sexual situations. leaving someone in a submissive or dominant headspace can be extremely dangerous (trust me, i know) and should never be done unless told otherwise by your partner. i'm also going to leave the definition of what a subdrop is in case some of you don't know what it means!

"Subdrop is the state of physical, emotional, and psychological withdrawal from an intense interaction with another person. Subdrop is almost always accompanied by some amount of depression, lethargy, and anxiety. One person might feel nauseated, another might get headaches, it can be very much like short term withdrawal, and in a sense, it is."

there's more information on subdrops and how to help someone going through one on this website! https://domrant.com/2014/07/question-subdrop/

please stay safe!

(this isn't proofread btw because i didn't want to make myself cry snsjsnssj)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Jisung gets like this sometimes.

He's sensitive, and in all meanings of the word. He cries when he's frustrated and he cries when someone's mean to him, even if it is just something silly and not made to offend him. He cries when he gets yelled at and he cries when he receives a bad grade in class. He cries when he's scared and he cries when he has sex.

The last one always seems to be a big problem for everyone. The only person who hadn't minded (who actually understood) was Minho, and Minho was gone.

He brushes off the weird looks he gets from his partners above him, the little comments about how weird it is that he cries (either from the pleasure or maybe because he feels sad enough to cry during sex) but Jisung is never able to brush off the lack of aftercare he receives from his partners since Minho left. 

There are loads of happy hormones that are supposed to be released during sex - Jisung can never remember all of them - but after his partners finish and leave, Jisung only feels sadness. He doesn't feel satisfied or any less lonely than when he went to the club; instead he feels a whole different kind of empty. The guys he sleep with now don't seem to understand the importance of aftercare after any sexual encounter, and every time Jisung brings it up to them while they're putting their clothes back on (Jisung laying spent on the bed 9/10 times) they tell him they don't do that, as one night stands are never serious and shouldn't include aftercare.

It hurts Jisung every time - every time he has to limp himself to his bathroom and clean the cum from inside himself . Every time he cleans himself off while crying and wishing it was someone else who was taking care of him. Someone like Minho.

Minho never minded that Jisung tended to cry during sex. He knew the boy was sensitive and was always there to shush him and bring him to his orgasm without causing too much pain that sometimes got blurred in the lines of pleasure for Jisung. He was so sensitive sometimes that it hurt, and Minho always understood, going at whatever pace Jisung needed and pulling out to finish himself off if he needed to.

Minho was the best boyfriend, and Jisung missed him so much.

 

 

 

The air in the room was hot and smelt like sex, which Jisung couldn't really complain about since he'd just had sex.

He was feeling extra lonely tonight, and went out to the local gay bar in need of someone to love and take care of him like he needed it. He noticed someone eyeing him from the bar all night, and after deciding he had nothing to lose, took him back to his dorm for some fun. Jisung did feel something among the immense loneliness. He felt pleasure that was only emphasised by his sensitivity and his need to be loved, taken care of. The guy had him on his hands and knees, and while Jisung went into this wanting missionary or to ride him, he wasn't about to voice what he wanted and risk the guy leaving him, alone.

So, despite being pounded into the mattress and feeling the pleasure, Jisung felt lonelier than he did before. And the tears came. 

Either Jisung was really good at disguising his cries of sadness as cries of pleasure, or his partners after Minho just never seemed to care. He figures it's the latter, as at the end of the day he's only a body for these guys to fuck their frustrations out on. He means nothing to them, and Jisung doesn't really want to mean anything to them. He just wishes they were someone else.

"I-I'm gonna cum-" he sobs, burying his face in the duvets as he's rocked forwards from the powerful thrusts. His cries and the other guy's grunts fill the room and Jisung comes untouched at the same time as he feels cum fill his ass. He slumps forward immediately into the puddle of his own cum, panting and shaking as the guy pulls out and hisses.

Their laboured breaths fill the room and Jisung hears the bed creak from behind him, feeling movement behind him as the mattress sinks momentarily then rises again. His head is in his arms, hot tears dripping onto the skin and rolling down onto the bed as his body shakes violently. He knows he's dropped, and he knows the guy won't care, which only makes his gasp heavier, trying to calm his breaths but failing miserably.

Jisung lets the first real, pained sob spill from his lips when the door closes, and he doesn't care if people can hear him from outside. He feels so small and vulnerable and sensitive and right now what he wants more than anything is to be in the arms of someone who loves him, someone he loves. He knows he shouldn't, but the confused and desperate side of his brain wins this time as he crawls over to his bedside table and picks up his phone with shaking hands. He finds Minho's contact easily, with it being his most used contact, and calls him immediately, laying back down on his bed in the foetal position and letting his tears drip down his nose as he sniffles pathetically.

"Hello?" Minho picks up after four rings, and just hearing how soft his voice is makes the ache in Jisung's heart ache more. Minho's voice always calmed him down the most when he experienced a subdrop, but now it only seems to make him cry harder, as he knows he can never have that voice to himself again. "Jisung, what's wrong?"

Jisung's crying so much he can't even form words, hiccuping and gasping for breath through his sobs as his body trembles and the tears keep falling.

"Are you hurt? Where are you, Sung?" Minho sounds so worried for him, and words can't describe how badly Jisung wants him here - needs him here.

"M-Mommy-" the title falls so easily from his lips, the familiarity and comfort Jisung gets just from saying it making everything hurt more.

There's silence on the other line for a moment as Jisung cries pathetically, curling in on himself so tightly his legs begin to hurt. He worries that he's ruined everything again, that calling Minho was a mistake, that going out tonight was a mistake and being so damn needy was all his fault, until-

"Mommy's here, baby, I'm here."

Even through the phone, Jisung can vaguely see Minho's face. He always has his sweet look on his face, neutral when Jisung drops so he doesn't get overwhelmed by Minho's worry. He squeezes his eyes shut until he sees stars in hope that the image in his face will become clearer.

"Where are you, baby?" Minho asks, and Jisung takes a very heavy and shaky breath to answer.

"D-Dorm," he manages before he breaks into sobs again. "M-Mommy, I n-need Mommy-"

"Shh, shh, baby," Minho shushes immediately like he always used to. "Mommy's here, Sungie. Mommy's coming. Is your door unlocked, baby?"

Jisung nods and then remembers Minho isn't really there, and so he hums, the sound mixed with a sob.

"Ok, darling, Mommy will be there real soon," Minho reassures before he hangs up, and Jisung is left there on his own again. Luckily he doesn't have to wait too long, as not even ten minutes later Minho's opening his door and peering in almost fearfully.

There's not much there apart from Jisung naked, curled up and crying, although not as heavily as before. When he hears his door open, however, his head whips up and towards it, and he starts crying all over again when he sees Minho.

Minho is so quick to get to the side of Jisung's bed, quick to stroke his hair and quick to shush him, leaning in to kiss Jisung's forehead and letting his lips linger there while Jisung sobs in front of him.

"Mommy's here now, baby," he whispers, closing his eyes and continuing to stroke Jisung's hair. "Mommy's got you."

"Mommy!" Jisung cries, sitting up and motionlessly beckoning Minho towards him. Minho climbs onto the bed with Jisung and sits against the headboard, pulling Jisung onto his lap and holding him close to his chest. Jisung curls up like it's second nature, remembering how it feels to be in Minho's arms at any time, and he revels painfully in the bittersweet memory.

Minho rocks the both of them back and forth as Jisung continues to cry. He shushes the younger gently and presses kisses every now and again to Jisung's forehead, temples, anywhere he can reach. "Mommy's got you, darling. I'm right here." He guides Jisung's head to his chest, lightly pressing Jisung against where his heart is. He remembers (he never forgot) that hearing his heartbeat always helped Jisung when he dropped. "Doing so well, beautiful."

As Jisung's sobs begin to calm, Minho allows himself to become less worried. When Jisung called him in tears, Minho feared something really bad had happened to him. He feared Jisung was seriously hurt or even worse, and had no time to think on his way to Jisung's dorm. He ran there all the way from Chan's apartment, telling his Australian friend plus Changbin and Seungmin that something urgent had come up and that he needed to go. But now that he has this moment to himself to think, Minho's kind finally lets him come to the conclusion that Jisung must have slept with someone.

Either that or he had masturbated himself into a subdrop, which Minho knows is something that happens to Jisung too, but he can smell cheap cologne in the air that he knows Jisung would never wear and that certainly doesn't belong to Minho himself. So someone else must have been here, and the thought of someone else with his Jisungie - touching him and fucking him and then leaving him like this - has Minho's blood boiling in both anger and jealousy.

Jisung's still naked, and Minho can see the dried cum on his - now soft - dick and stomach, and when he looks over he can see the same mess on the other side of the bed, and he recognises in his mind that he'll have to get Jisung cleaned up too. But that can wait until he's calm.

It takes another twenty minutes of sniffles, sobs and even full on cries again until Jisung is mostly settled. He's not shaking anymore and he looks more tired than upset as Minho runs a hand through his hair and tucks a piece of stray blonde hair behind his ear. It's then that Jisung becomes aware of what's happened and what he's done and he looks up at Minho apologetically.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, voice unable to go any louder from how much crying he's done. "I shouldn't have called you."

"I'm glad you did," Minho replies, stroking his thumb over the small of Jisung's back. "I would hate for you to be here suffering on your own."

"But we're not-"

"That doesn't matter, baby," Minho cuts him off gently. "I'm glad you called me."

It's silent for a minute, Jisung too embarrassed to even look at Minho while Minho keeps stroking his back and hair. The silence carries on for another minute before Minho speaks up. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

Jisung looks up at him at that, alarmed and confused. "Oh, n-no, you don't need to do that."

"Jisung," Minho says sternly, but not sternly enough for it to be a proper scolding. "Come on, darling, I'm here to take care of you."

Jisung feels his eyes sting with fresh tears as Minho gives him that signature darling smile, doting. Minho's quick to shush him before he even gets to cry, and Jisung feels the same vulnerable feeling bubble up in his chest and throat.

"Mommy..." He whimpers, and Minho cups his cheek, smiling.

"Mommy's here, prince."

 

 

 

An hour later and Jisung finds himself under the - new and clean - covers with Minho right next to him. He can tell this drop will last longer than they usually do, maybe a few days instead of a few hours, and Jisung hates himself for bringing Minho back into this.

"You don't need to stay here," is what Jisung wants to say, but his sad and clingy mind only lets him say, "I miss you."

Minho strokes up Jisung's arm, kissing the crown of Jisung's head and pulling him closer.

"I miss you too, babydoll," he returns. "I miss you so much."

Fresh tears fill Jisung's tired and stinging eyes as he curls himself further into Minho's chest. He doesn't know if this will only be temporary or if there's still hope for the future, but right now, Jisung just wants to pretend there is. Whatever comes after this is second to what's happening now, and Jisung is desperate to live in the present.

With Minho right beside him.

Notes:

thank you for reading! i hope you all enjoyed! remember to be safe during sex and to know your own limits and your partner's limits.

kudos and comments are greatly appreciated; especially on this work since it means a lot to me🥺🥺🥺🥺

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