Work Text:
It's 5:53 pm.
Minhyuk sighs as he looks back in the mirror.
He wonders if he hasn't overdone it. It's no special occasion, just meeting a bunch of people that he hasn't seen for several years, ever since he finished high school. He can look nice, but most of all he should look casual.
He narrows his eyes, inspecting his appearance. He thinks his blond hair looks okay, and the black turtleneck gives a nice impression. However it feels weird not to weak any earrings, his face looks bare without makeup, and his fingers are too light without his rings. He wishes he could wear them, but he can already feel his stomach squeeze in anxiety.
It's been years but he's still so afraid to be judged.
Soft footsteps, and a moment later Hyungwon appears, leaning against the door frame as he looks at Minhyuk up and down with a proud smile that Minhyuk sees in the reflection. "Well, aren't you handsome?"
Minhyuk laughs at the compliment, although it feels forced with the way his fingers tremble. "You think so?" He sounds too nervous for it to be as lighthearted as he wants it to be.
The look Hyungwon gives him changes slightly, and Minhyuk has to avert his gaze not to see the concern.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Hyungwon reminds him. "I'm sure Kihyun would understand."
Kihyun surely would understand. Hell, Kihyun has been hesitant whether it is a good idea from the very beginning. And Minhyuk knows fully well why.
But there's something in him that tells him he should go. Minhyuk may be scared, but he's sure he can do it if Kihyun is there with him.
"It's okay," he tries to sound reassuring, although his voice wavers a bit too much.
Telling your mind that you're going to be fine is one thing, but trying to convince your body is something completely different. "I want to go. Besides, Kihyun will be there if something goes wrong."
Kihyun will be there, and Minhyuk knows it's enough. Hyungwon knows it too, but the creases on his forehead don't disappear.
Minhyuk looks at his reflection, wondering if putting at least an eye makeup would still be too much. He reaches for his makeup kit, but his hands shake too much.
"Damn," he laughs, and his laugh is too forced. "I'm nervous."
He feels Hyungwon's hands on his shoulders. Minhyuk lets out a shaky sigh and tries to relax as Hyungwon starts drawing circles on them in a calming manner. He kisses the space behind Minhyuk's ear.
"If you really want to go, I can go with you," he offers, even though he knows that Minhyuk will reject the idea. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to."
Minhyuk knows that Hyungwon won't understand it, Minhyuk himself barely understands it. He puts his hands on top of Hyungwon's.
"Let me go with you, then."
On any other occasion, Minhyuk would want nothing more than to take Hyungwon wherever he is going. But this time it's a little more complex, and Minhyuk knows Hyungwon's presence, although comforting, would make things worse.
"It's okay, really." He tries to sound sincere. "Can you do my eyes? I don't think I can hold anything now without dropping it."
He laughs again, but for the whole time Hyungwon hasn't changed his expression at least slightly. He's worried and Minhyuk hates it, because it isn't that deep, it shouldn't be such a problem.
They sit down on the floor in their living room, Minhyuk's back leaning against the couch and Hyungwon hovering over him. It's natural, but Minhyuk's mind is racing and he can't immerse in the familiarity of it.
"You're not wearing your earrings," Hyungwon notices.
"Yeah," Minhyuk chuckles. "I don't think I will feel comfortable with them."
But it isn't right because Minhyuk loves his jewelry.
Hyungwon stops his movement, staring at Minhyuk's closed lids. Minhyuk hums a question when Hyungwon doesn't do anything for a longer while.
He dares to open his eyes when he feels Hyungwon's gentle touch against his cheek. Hyungwon doesn't say anything, just leans forward and presses his lips against Minhyuk's in a sweet kiss. It's short, and when it ends Hyungwon doesn't lean back, just presses his forehead against Minhyuk's, staring in Minhyuk's eyes.
"You look beautiful."
Finally, Minhyuk's smile falters. "You really think so?"
And Hyungwon is baffled, because Minhyuk should never have any doubts about it. He's stunning, but he can't see it, and it's all because of those people he's about to see.
Hyungwon never knew that it's possible to hate someone so much without ever meeting them.
"You're stunning," he compliments Minhyuk again. "I don't want you to go."
And Minhyuk's smile comes back. "You don't have to worry so much. I will be fine."
Hyungwon hopes Minhyuk isn't lying to him.
Kihyun arrives half an hour later, and his eyes widen when he sees Minhyuk.
"You look, wow," he comments and Minhyuk smiles shyly.
And Hyungwon wants to scream because Minhyuk isn't shy, he's anything but. But Minhyuk usually doesn't show his weaknesses and this-
This thing must be his biggest weakness.
"Let's go," Minhyuk says, the attention he's given making his fingers twitch in anxiety. He turns to Hyungwon. "I won't be out for too long," he promises and gives Hyungwon a kiss on the cheek.
"Just be back before midnight." It's more concern than demand and Minhyuk squeezes Hyungwon's fingers in reassurance.
"I will."
"Kihyun?" Hyungwon asks, looking at his friend.
Kihyun nods. "Don't worry, I'll get him back home safely."
They leave after that. As they go to Kihyun's car Minhyuk lets out a shaky breath, his fists clenching by his sides. Kihyun looks at him, the concern in his eyes so similar to Hyungwon's.
"Minhyuk," he calls when they reach the car, grabbing Minhyuk's wrist and stopping him from getting inside. "It's okay if we don't go, really. If you don't think-"
"I'm fine," Minhyuk states, a little too forcefully. Kihyun shuts up. "Seriously, stop. Hyungwon tried to talk me out of it the whole evening, but I want to go. Really. I don't know why, and I don't know how it's going to be, but I'll regret it if I don't go."
Kihyun stares at him for a short moment. "Alright," he gives up finally. "But remember, if anything happens, or if you don't feel good, we can leave at any moment. Don't force yourself if it becomes too much."
"I won't," Minhyuk promises. "The moment I think something is off I will tell you."
And Kihyun accepts that.
Hyungwon can't focus on anything.
Minhyuk has been gone for an hour now and Hyungwon tries to tell himself that if anything happened Minhyuk or Kihyun would call him. Or Kihyun would bring Minhyuk back. But Hyungwon's phone is silent, and no one comes, and Hyungwon is restless with ugly thoughts occupying his mind.
He gives up on working for today and settles for reading a book but it's pointless when all he can do is check his phone every few minutes, in case he didn't notice a notification. For a brief moment he wonders if that's how Minhyuk felt before leaving.
And when Hyungwon lies on the couch half an hour later, doing absolutely nothing, just waiting for Minhyuk, his phone finally goes off. Hyungwon accepts the call, his guts squeezing in worry when he sees Kihyun's name.
"Kihyun? What's wrong?"
Before Kihyun can say anything there's a moment of silence, and Hyungwon listens to the rustling on the other line.
"Kihyun?" he asks again.
"Can you- can you come?"
The other sounds nervous, distracted, and Hyungwon gets up immediately to take his documents and wallet from the bedroom.
"I'm on my way, where are you?"
"Still at the bar," Kihyun answers, and Hyungwon can tell that he's panicking. But if Kihyun is panicking then what about Minhyuk?
Hyungwon's grip on his phone tightens. "What happened?" he inquires, his phone pressed between his cheek and shoulder as he puts on his shoes. "Where's Minhyuk?"
"He's- he's here."
"Give him the phone."
"I can't."
Hyungwon is taken aback by Kihyun's response. "Kihyun," he calls the other, his voice demanding.
"We're in the restroom, but Minhyuk locked himself in the stall and- just come."
Hyungwon hurries out from his apartment, locking the door before rushing down the stairs. "Did he say anything?"
"He only told me to call you."
"What happened?"
Kihyun takes a breath. "It was- At first, it was going really well. Really. Minhyuk was nervous, but it was... He didn't look comfortable, but he seemed to be doing kinda okay?"
"Kihyun," Hyungwon interrupts him, impatient. "What happened?"
"Someone said something," Kihyun says at last, helplessly. "It wasn't even related to Minhyuk, and I didn't think much about it. It was some comment about, I don't remember, work I think? Someone was just telling about their work and suddenly Minhyuk grabbed my hand and he looked so pale, so we came to the restroom but then- then he locked himself in the stall, but I don't know why."
Hyungwon bites his lip. "He won't tell you?"
"I told you, he doesn't want to talk to me."
"Ask him if he wants to talk to me instead."
Kihyun does. Hyungwon can hear Kihyun's muffled voice as he asks Minhyuk, and he sounds so cautious, but Minhyuk's response is inaudible. Hyungwon waits, focusing on the sounds coming through his phone as he reaches his car and gets inside.
There's some noise, but no one says anything and Hyungwon is getting more and more impatient before finally he hears someone again.
"Wonnie?" It's Minhyuk. He sounds breathless, his voice is shaky, as if he was crying, and Hyungwon grips his phone tighter.
"Baby," Hyungwon exhales, half in relief, half in concern. "What happened?"
"Come here," Minhyuk asks softly, and Hyungwon doesn't remember the last time he heard him like this. "Please."
"I'm coming, I'm in the car already."
"Don't hang up."
Hyungwon knows better than do drive while talking on the phone. "I will put you on speaker, okay?"
Minhyuk doesn't answer and Hyungwon is afraid that something is happening that Minhyuk isn't telling him. The silence is maddening.
"Baby? Talk to me, please."
"Just hurry." Minhyuk sounds like he was trying to choke back a sob.
"I'm on my way," Hyungwon promises as he turns on the speaker and leaves the phone on the passenger seat before finally starting the car.
Minhyuk cries softly the whole time. Not knowing what's wrong Hyungwon has no idea what he should say, so he tries to comfort Minhyuk in various ways but nothing seems to work. When he finally gets to the bar where Minhyuk and Kihyun are supposed to be he parks the car on the side road, getting out hurriedly.
"I'm here," Hyungwon says, his phone back against his ear. He makes his way to the bar, the smell of cigarettes attacking his nose and he grimaces. He thinks about Minhyuk, who hates the smell of cigarettes even more than Hyungwon does.
"Hurry," Minhyuk begs.
Hyungwon makes his way through the whole bar. The place is loud and crowded, and he wants to leave quickly. He finally spots the WC sign and goes inside, relieved to see Kihyun there, leaning against the door of one of the stalls. As soon as Kihyun spots Hyungwon he tries to say something but Hyungwon doesn't let him.
"He's here?" Hyungwon asks and Kihyun nods. Hyungwon knocks on the stall door gently, ending the call. "Minnie? It's me."
The door opens and Hyungwon is caught off guard Minhyuk crashes against him, hiding his face in Hyungwon's shoulder as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend. He's trembling, and Hyungwon puts one hand on Minhyuk's back, the other one on his hair.
"It's okay now," he comforts Minhyuk. "You're okay. I'm taking you home."
Minhyuk doesn't say anything, but he takes the material of Hyungwon's shirt and grips it tightly, pressing his face harder against Hyungwon's shoulder. Hyungwon tries to soothe him, looking at Kihyun, hoping for an explanation. Kihyun gnaws at his bottom lip, watching Minhyuk in worry and Hyungwon knows Kihyun won't say anything more than he already did.
"Come on," Hyungwon murmurs, his attention back to Minhyuk. "You're tired, let's go home."
Minhyuk looks up at him, finally, and Hyungwon's breath hitches when he sees his eyes are red and filled with tears, his makeup smudged, his face flushed. He looks like he wanted to tell Hyungwon something, but unsure if he should say anything.
Hyungwon presses a kiss against Minhyuk's forehead and Minhyuk sighs.
"I'm sorry," Minhyuk whispers finally. "It was a dumb idea, I- I should have listened to you."
"No, don't be," Hyungwon tries to soothe him. "You did nothing wrong."
"I was dumb, again."
"You weren't," Kihyun denies, stepping closer to Minhyuk as he puts a reassuring hand on Minhyuk's shoulder. "You didn't know, don't say things like this."
Minhyuk looks at Kihyun with guilt in his eyes and Hyungwon's heart breaks.
"I didn't mean to cause you trouble," Minhyuk confesses. "I'm sorry."
"What trouble?" Kihyun furrows his brows. He rubs Minhyuk's nape. "Please, don't apologize, you did nothing wrong."
"Come on," Hyungwon speaks before Minhyuk can start arguing that he should be sorry. "Let me take you home, Min. Please."
And finally, defeated, Minhyuk agrees.
They leave. When they make their way out Minhyuk curls into himself suddenly. Hyungwon doesn't know if his classmates are still somewhere in the crowd, and if they are where they sit, but he wraps a protective arm around Minhyuk as he leads them out.
When they are finally outside, Minhyuk already sitting in Hyungwon's car, Kihyun stops Hyungwon before he can get inside too.
"I just wanted to apologize," he says nervously. "I promised to take care of him. It shouldn't have happened-"
"You did take care of him," Hyungwon cuts him. He's tired, and he wants to go home and make sure that Minhyuk will be okay, but he needs Kihyun to hear this. "You were great. Thank you for being there for him."
"Text me when you get home."
Hyungwon nods. "Of course. Thank you, really."
The ride back to their apartment is silent for most of the time. Minhyuk leans his head against the car window, looking at the scenery. He is quiet and Hyungwon looks at him from time to time in concern, but doesn't say anything. He won't make Minhyuk talk when Minhyuk doesn't want to.
"Is it pathetic?" is the first thing Minhyuk says. His voice is tired, emotionless.
Hyungwon looks at him briefly with a frown before focusing on the road again. "What do you mean?"
Minhyuk heaves a sigh, looking down at his hands, clasped together on his lap. "I shouldn't still be affected by something that happened long ago," he explains. "For fuck's sake, I was a kid, I'm supposed to be more mature now."
"Min, no," Hyungwon protests. "It's- it wasn't nothing, okay? It was big, and you have every right to still be affected by it. I wish you didn't have to be, but no one can demand that you just... stop." He looks at Minhyuk again, hating the way his lover's shoulders start shaking again. "Oh, Minnie."
"I'm sorry," Minhyuk's voice breaks. "I just feel so stupid, and- shit, I don't even want to know what you're thinking about me right now."
"I'm not thinking anything," Hyungwon assures. "I love you, and if something bothers you I want to know. Please, don't hide anything like this from me."
Minhyuk bites his bottom lip, his chin trembling. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"It's okay, we won't." Because whatever Minhyuk wants, Hyungwon will give it to him.
"Just take me home."
And Hyungwon does.