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Shouto wasn’t sure when everything changed. How he went from being okay with the thought of considering Midoriya a friend, to always wanting to be by the other boy’s side.
He supposes that must just be something that comes with friendship, as the other person has stuck around longer as time goes by. He hadn’t had many friends before to compare the feeling to, but he didn’t see how it could be anything else. It wasn’t like he was feeling anything unnatural. Being around Midoriya just provided Shouto a sense of ease and comfort that not much else did, it made perfect sense in his mind to want to be around the boy because of that.
What he never looked into though, was why Midoriya made him feel that way. But he didn’t think it was necessary.
He didn’t think there was any reason to question the feeling of safety in his presence, or the occasional elevated heartbeat, because in his mind it just made sense . Midoriya was special to him, what reason did he have to think anymore about that? It wasn’t like he didn’t know.
But then things really did change, all thanks to Yaoyorozu. She was sitting beside him in the common room, smiling knowingly at Shouto, unbeknownst to him because his gaze rested on Midoriya sitting on the other side of the room, studying alone.
His hair was messy, ruffled slightly from when Kirishima walked past the boy moments before and patted his head gently on the way out of the room. Midoriya had been so engrossed in his studies, the boy hardly noticed and Shouto had a hard time biting back a small smile at how endearing that was.
Yaoyorozu leaned over slightly, knocking her shoulder into his own. He startled out of his trance.
“Hm?” He frowned, slightly annoyed that she drew his attention away from his best friend.
She raised her eyebrows in a gleeful way, causing Shouto to furrow his own in confusion as to why she was acting in that way.
“You’re staring at Midoriya an awful lot,” she commented with a lilt to her voice, and if Shouto knew any better he would categorize it as teasing, although it couldn’t be because that wasn’t logical in this context. Despite that, he still felt heat rise to his cheeks as if he had been caught doing something that he shouldn’t have been.
“Yes?” He questioned back, confused as to why she would point out such a thing. He was always watching Midoriya. In fact sometimes Midoriya watched him too, although he always seemed to be incredibly embarrassed of the fact whenever Shouto caught his eye.
“You totally have a thing for him, don’t you?”
Shouto leaned back as his eyes flicked over her face, trying to gauge what she meant by her words. “A thing?” His voice raised slightly, and she hushed him immediately so as not to be overheard. He paused, whispering, “I’m not quite sure what you mean, Yaoyorozu.”
She scrunched her nose, something she often did when she realized she was going to have to explain something in more depth than she originally realized, although it wasn’t in annoyance. It was closer to an exasperated fondness that Shouto was often on the receiving end of.
“You have a thing for Midoriya,” she stated slowly. “As in, you like Midoriya.”
He blinked in surprise. “Of course I do.”
Shaking her head, she repeated herself. “No, I mean you like him.”
He nodded along with her. “Yes, I don’t think that’s news? Midoriya and I have been friends since the sports festival in our first year here.” He was so confused, not understanding at all why Yaoyorozu had just seemed to come to the conclusion that the two of them were on good terms.
“Oh my god,” she groaned lightly under her breath. “I forgot that sometimes you can be like a newborn infant experiencing emotions for the first time.”
He frowned. “Hey.”
“Don’t act like I’m wrong Todoroki, you know as well as I do,” she scolded insincerely. “What I mean is you like Midoriya, as in you have warm gross romantic feelings for him and you want to hold his hand. It’s totally all over your face when you look at him.”
Raising an eyebrow, Shouto regarded Yaoyorozu quizzically, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Midoriya was simply his best friend that he enjoyed being around constantly. He was certain that if he held romantic feelings for the boy he would know. He might be dense at times, but he wasn’t an idiot. He had read books before, he knew what romantic feelings were.
He told Yaoyorozu as much and she sighed in reluctance, giving in easily as Midoriya had seemingly snapped out of his studying trance and looked over to where the two of them were sitting. He was internally grateful that she dropped the subject because he didn’t want Midoriya to overhear and confuse anything about the two of them.
He beamed brightly over at the two, and Shouto felt his face slip into a small smile, a rare sight that his best friend seemed to be the only one who could pull it out of him. He heard Yaoyorozu groan from behind him and throw herself onto the couch, but he couldn’t really care less about what was going on with her. Midoriya was inviting him to eat dinner together with the rest of their friends, and Shouto was already up from his seat and out the door the moment the invitation was extended.
Merely because he loved being in his friend’s presence. That was all there was to it.
—
It was nearly a week after the odd conversation Shouto had with Yaoyorozu in the common room, but for some reason he couldn’t get the girl’s words out of his mind.
You want to hold his hand.
Did he really?
Shouto honestly couldn’t remember if the thought had ever crossed his mind before, he wasn’t in the habit of paying close attention to his thoughts when he was with Midoriya. Typically he just enjoyed the moments as they came, embracing them fully as he enjoyed having a friend who actively wanted to spend time with him. A friend who didn’t put him on edge and cause him to overthink every little detail.
But now he was. Because of Yaoyorozu.
Ever since she slipped that statement into her declaration of his supposed feelings for Midoriya, for whatever reason it hadn’t left his mind yet. Along with that, Shouto had been having trouble tearing his gaze away from Midoriya’s hands, wondering what it would be like to hold them. Could she have been right?
Shouto wasn’t sure. Should I test it out? he wondered to himself, thinking of how he could casually make it happen without Midoriya becoming confused. But was that possible?
How would Midoriya react? What if he became angry, or—
“—odoroki? Earth to Todoroki?” a voice broke through his train of thought.
His cheeks warmed in embarrassment, sheepishly peering up at his friend from where he had been zoned out, staring down at his now cold cup of tea. He quickly switched the cup to his left hand to warm it back to the original temperature.
“Sorry, I zoned out.” He mumbled. “Did you need something?”
Midoriya shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips as he took the seat across from him. “No, I was just a little worried when I saw you and said hi and you didn’t respond. Everything okay?”
Nodding, Shouto took a sip of his drink. “I was just thinking about something Yaoyorozu was talking to me about not too long ago.”
“Ah,” his friend leaned back in his seat as if that made sense. “She does have the tendency to make you start to question everything, huh? She knows a lot.”
The sides of Shouto’s mouth quirked up a bit. “That she does. She’s very…observant.”
Midoriya perked up. “Oh? Was this like one of her intervention talks? Where she states something she’s noticed about you and tries to get you to confirm it?”
His enthusiasm brought a slight chuckle out of Shouto as he nodded. “Exactly that. I’m assuming you’ve been on the receiving end of those talks before?”
The other boy laughed. “Oh, all the time. In fact, just the other week her and Ochako cornered me to interrogate me about—” the boy immediately cut himself off and stiffened, freckled cheeks flushing under Shouto’s questioning gaze.
Giggling, he looked to the side. “Uh, sorry about that. They just wanted to talk about some things,” he brushed off, wringing his hands together nervously where he held them clasped on the table, gaze averted downwards. The sudden nervous behavior wasn’t completely uncharacteristic for his friend to display, but it was rare when Shouto was around.
Baby steps, Shouto thought to himself before he reached out to gently place a hand over Midoriya’s in comfort. He furrowed his brow in slight concern, also in part to cover the way his heart rate picked up.
“Midoriya? You okay?”
The boy’s eyes widened.
“Izuku,” he blurted out, and then immediately pulled his hands away to cover his mouth in shock.
Shouto frowned at the removal of his hands, and in his confusion. “What?”
“I-I just mean...you can call me Izuku.” He mumbled. “Sorry, that was kinda random, uhh,” he trailed off as his eyes darted around the room, as if he was planning his escape. “You don’t have to call me that,” he added. Shouto didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable like that around him. He wanted his friend to feel as safe as he did when they were together.
He dipped his head down slightly to reach Midoriya—no—Izuku’s eyes. “I’ll call you whatever you want me to, Izuku. You can call me Shouto as well, if you would like,” he offered, turning a blind eye to the hope and giddiness that was rising in his chest. It was simply because this proved their friendship was strong , he convinced himself.
The red on Izuku’s face only seemed to deepen, but this time it was accompanied with a nod and a bright smile. “Okay uh, Shouto. That sounds good.”
Shouto himself allowed another smile to grace his lips.
But it didn’t mean anything. Because they were just friends.
—
Shouto was lying face down on Momo’s bed. Yes, Momo’s bed. She just told him earlier with an amused smile on her face that he was allowed to call her that, which made sense because they were friends. Just friends, which was why it didn’t mean anything either when Izuku told him the same thing.
Yet for some reason, he felt a spike of disappointment rise in his chest when he made the connection. It seems everything always comes back to Momo.
Momo was running a comforting hand through his hair, obviously picking up on his distress but not pushing him to explain himself which he appreciated. Because he wasn’t sure how he would explain it when he himself didn’t even know—didn’t even start feeling this way until she had to make him question everything he ever knew.
Groaning, he pushed himself upwards into a sitting position, swiveling around on her bed until he was able to rest against the backboard. She dropped her hand back to her lap, and softened her gaze sympathetically as if she knew what he was going through his mind. In all honesty, she probably did. She always seemed to know what was troubling Shouto. She was very knowledgeable in that sense, second to Izuku. Except of course, when the boy himself was troubling Shouto. That at least, he has been able to hide from Izuku so far.
“Let me take a guess,” she spoke up and paused. “You’re feeling troubled about Midoriya because he said something to you and you’ve been overthinking it ever since.”
Rolling his eyes, Shouto averted his gaze from hers. “I wouldn’t even be overthinking this if you didn’t have to go and confuse me about my own feelings last week.” He refused to look at her, already knowing the smug expression that was coming to rest on her face at his words.
“Oh?” She questioned, pride laced in her voice at the possibility of being correct. “Are you saying I was right? How shocking.” Momo’s voice held an air of faux surprise.
Shouto turned to look at her with a disgruntled glare, internally sighing at her expression and the gleeful look in her eyes. She was too invested in his theoretical love life. “No. That is definitely not what I’m saying. Izuku is my best friend, that’s it.”
“No, I’m your best friend. He’s --wait. Oh my god, did you just call him Izuku?” Momo gasped, eyes widening as she looked at Shouto in shock. “Did he ask you to call him that?” She squeaked, hands flying up to cover her mouth.
“Oh be quiet,” he cried, knocking his head back against the backboard in distress. “Yes, he did. Randomly blurted it out in the middle of our conversation that I could call him that and it caught me off guard because he was so flustered when he said it. I thought it could have meant something,” he confessed, gaze dropping down to the bed. “Because no one’s ever been that close to me before to the point where they’ve wanted me to call them by their first name.”
He turned to Momo, glaring. “But then you went and did the same thing, and you’re clearly not secretly pining over me, so it doesn’t mean anything after all.”
Lowering her hands from her face, Momo regarded him with a level of understanding that made him feel as if he was being picked apart and analyzed under the scrutiny of her gaze. “You wanted it to mean something, didn’t you?”
Shouto’s breath caught in his throat at the bluntness of her accusation, but also at the fact that he wasn’t certain if she was wrong. He stayed quiet, his silence speaking louder than any words could have.
“I know I gave you permission to do the same, but just because we’re only friends doesn’t mean it means absolutely nothing. It shows that at the very least, Midoriya trusts and values your friendship a lot. And blurting it out like he did means it might have been on his mind for a while. He’s not the type to decide things like that in a spur of the moment way, you know.” She said truthfully, trying to reassure Shouto without explicitly stating in what way. He could tell she knew that if she pushed the whole You-Like-Each-Other thing too far, Shouto was likely to shut the conversation down. He appreciated her attention to detail.
“Just because you might be right about that doesn’t mean he meant it in a different way than you, though. And you know I’m correct about that. You can’t dispute it.” He sighed.
She shrugged. “Maybe I can’t. But the fact that you’re thinking so hard about this means I can at least prove it from one side,” she teased, revelling in the fact that she was right about their conversation a week prior, at least partially.
“So what if you are?” He grumbled, picking at his nails to avoid eye contact with Momo, knowing she would see right through his act of indifference.
Cooing, she leaned down to catch his gaze. “Aw, does Shouto have a crush on Midoriya?” She pouted. “That is so cute that you say that like my mind hasn’t been made up about that fact for months now.”
Stiffening, Shouto shot up straight, looking at her with wide eyes. “Months?” He yelped. “I only just came to the realization that I--that I wouldn’t hate it if we like, held hands or something. What do you mean months ?”
Momo leveled him with a gaze that said are you being serious?
Sighing, she scooted in closer as if she was telling Shouto an important, life changing secret that no one else was allowed to overhear. “Shouto, my dearest friend.” She paused dramatically. “Excuse my language, but you are whipped as fuck for Midoriya. You look at him like his freckles are the goddamned stars and like you would trust him with your life. You don’t look at anyone else like that.”
A heavy blush coated his cheeks but he said nothing, unsure of how to respond to her statement.
‘It’s so clear in your face--but don’t worry, Midoriya is oblivious and has no clue as far as I’m aware,” Momo was quick to add on, knowing Shouto would fear his friend catching onto him. “I know you view him as your best friend. But I also know that you view me as your best friend as well, and wouldn’t you say you feel differently about the two of us?” She concluded, giving Shouto time to think over her words, understanding that it would be a lot for him to take in and truly give more consideration to his feelings.
Reaching out to pat his leg comfortingly, she squeezed his knee. “Promise me you’ll think on that, okay? I know...I know your father hasn’t been good to you, but feelings are never a bad thing to have.”
Shouto felt his eyes watering slightly, and he looked up at his friend with a mixture of gratitude and distress on his face. “Okay,” he said, his voice wavering and strangled. “I needed that.”
She smiled softly. “I’m glad I’m able to be here for you, Shouto.” She said sincerely.
“I’m glad I have you,” he confessed in a rare display of affection towards his friend, knowing she would appreciate hearing those words. Insecurely, he hoped he would be able to be a comforting presence for her, if she ever needed it. He knew he wasn’t the best with words, but he wanted to be able to support his friend in the same way she supported him through his own turmoil.
Before he could spiral too far down into a sudden bout of self-doubting--something only Shouto could manage to spin out of a healthy conversation about feelings--the door to Momo’s room was pushed open forcefully to reveal a red-faced and slightly out of breath Uraraka.
“Oh thank god you’re here Momo,” she gasped, her eyes locking in on the other girl. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, I needed somewhere to escape to. Don’t get me wrong, I love Izuku, but if I had to hear him talk about how cute T--”
Momo’s eyes widened and she cleared her throat harshly, coughing into her fist loudly. Shouto looked over to her in alarm, reaching forward to pat her on the back gently. “Are you okay?” He questioned, startled. “Do you need water?” He had no idea what brought on her sudden coughing fit.
He returned his gaze to Uraraka, finding the girl to be staring at him slightly with her mouth open and face losing its color. “Todoroki,” she greeted, with a strained smile on her face before she looked over to Momo with a slight glare on her eyes. It left as quickly as it came when she slid her eyes back to his. “I had...absolutely no idea you were going to be in here,” she said slowly. Pressing a palm to her chest, she sighed heavily and relieved, almost as if she would have said or done something in his presence that he wasn’t supposed to see or know about. He wasn’t sure what it could be, but then his mind returned to the words she had uttered before Momo interrupted with her coughing.
Izuku thought someone was cute?
He furrowed his brow, heart dropping down into his stomach with disappointment. “Sorry,” he mumbled, shaking his head and not meeting her gaze. Pushing himself off the bed, he backed towards the door slowly. “I’ll be heading out so you two can talk...presumably about whoever Izuku likes?” He laughed slightly. “Don’t mind me.”
Momo met his gaze urgently, shaking her head as she already knew where Shouto’s thoughts were going. She reached her hand out towards him helplessly as if it could get him to stay long enough so things could be cleared up. But clearing up what, Shouto wasn’t sure.
Looking almost as if she had caught on, Uraraka stepped forwards towards him. “Oh no, Todoroki wait, that’s not what I meant. I--”
But he was already out the door, pulling it shut behind him. He didn’t think he wanted to know what she had to say, anyways.
--
Shouto thinks Iida might be calling his name to stick around and go over what their team could have done better during the training activity they just completed, but his mind was stuck on more pressing matters as Izuku was walking away from the group quickly with his shoulders hunched over and head down. Shouto may not have a mind reading quirk, but after being friends with the boy for so long he was able to read his body language fairly accurately. And as clear as day, Izuku’s read that he was upset and retreating, because he didn’t want to burden anyone with his thoughts. Izuku could never be a burden to him, and he always wanted to do his best to alleviate whatever was troubling him, so before he knew it his feet were carrying him towards the boy in question, and away from Iida’s confused call for him.
“Izuku!” Shouto called, weaving in between the rest of the students who stayed back to discuss, ignoring the quirked eyebrow Momo gave him before she stepped out of his way, pulling Jirou with her. “Izuku, where are you going?” He questioned as he got closer, already fairly certain that he knew the answer but he wanted to coax it out of him, not feeling as if he should jump in head first with accusations. His steps slowed down as he fell into line next to the smaller boy. He sighed internally in relief when his friend allowed this to happen, not speeding up further to get away from him.
He might enjoy being alone when he’s upset, but it would never bring the same amount of comfort as Shouto did, no matter how stilted the efforts might be.
Shrugging his shoulders, Izuku looked over to Shouto with a small smile on his face, he was always smiling even when he felt anything but happy. Whether it was something he picked up from his admirance of All Might, or a defense mechanism of his own, Shouto wasn’t sure. But what he was certain of was that Izuku’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, and it always did when he was truly in a good mood.
“Just didn’t feel like sticking around for too long!” He explained, keeping the strained smile on his face. “I”m just a little more worn out than usual, I think I went a little too hard in training today.”
Shouto picked up on the white lie immediately, because it was a well known fact that Izuku always went too hard during training, never failing to push himself to his limits, even in the past when he knew he could end up with broken bones. It was something that used to make Shouto jealous and cautious, both admiring and envying the boy for being everything he had ever hoped to be so he could finally stand out in the eyes of his father. It was something that caused Shouto to declare war and rivalry on Izuku several times, and despite all that Izuku brushed it off, sensing somehow that underneath the confidence was a layer of hurt that had run deep over the years. Izuku had ended up helping him and extending an offer of friendship, an offer that Shouto could have never turned down because a part of him had always been hopelessly addicted to the other boy. Perhaps that should have been the first sign of his feelings.
He nudged Izuku’s shoulder gently. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” he murmured soothingly, “but you also don’t have to lie to me to appease me, either.” Shouto had never been the best at comforting others when they were down, he had always found it to feel unnatural when he had never received the same treatment in return growing up, had never figured out how to deal with himself when he was in the dumps, but he would always try his best for his closest friend, because Izuku deserved nothing less, and always more.
He watched carefully as the green haired boy tipped his head back to look up at the sky as they continued walking aimlessly, a slightly amused smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, one that wasn’t completely genuine, but wasn’t completely not either. It was enough for now though, seeing the confirmation that maybe he wasn’t too upset past anything Shouto could try to help with.
“You’ve always been able to see right through me, huh?” He commented, chuckling slightly. He looked down at his feet, steps slowing down as they came to a halt somewhere on the campus, the other students no longer in sight as they had walked so far already with Shouto hardly noticing a thing, his attention focused on his friend only, unaware of his surroundings aside from the boy next to him.
“I-I...I don’t know. It’s nothing important,” he brushed off.
“It’s always important if it’s you.” He watched as Izuku’s face flushed under the splattering of freckles adorning his cheeks, and his nose scrunched cutely in surprise at Shouto’s words.
“Thank you, Shouto,” he murmured appreciatively. “It’s really not anything out of the ordinary though. Kacchan was just being Kacchan, per usual. I was just already in not the best mood today that it got to me more than usual, I guess?” Shrugging sheepishly, he hesitantly looked the taller boy in the eyes. “It’s silly. I should be used to it.”
Shouto frowned, having been unaware that something had been bothering his friend all day, and he had been none the wiser to it. “I didn’t know you were feeling upset earlier. You could’ve come to me. What was bothering you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Izuku waved his hands. “Nothing, really. It was stupid too. Ochako was being pushy about something and you weren’t there during breakfast so there really was no chance to,” he laughed nervously.
Frown deepening, Shouto shook his head. “Your feelings are never stupid. I’m sorry your day didn’t start out the best, and that Bakugou was running his mouth and only served to make it worse. You didn’t deserve any of that, but I hope you know that Bakugou’s insults don’t say anything about who you are. They’re baseless, because you’re the best person I know and I wish he could see that. But some people never change.” His hands clenched by his sides with the need to reach out and hold Izuku, to pull him in close and let him know he would always be there for him, but he refrained. He refrained from doing so because they were just friends, and Izuku liked someone else anyways.
Silently, Shouto wondered when he had begun to need to remind himself of how their relationship was so he didn’t cross any unspoken lines without thinking.
Snapped out of his train of thought, he watched in horror as Izuku’s eyes began to fill with tears, the boy looking down to avert his gaze as he rubbed at them harshly to stop the tears from falling. Shouto’s chest burned with the fear that he said something wrong, his breath stilling as he scrambled for something to say.
“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered in worry. “Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to upset you, I--” his words cut off abruptly as Izuku nearly threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around the shoulders of the taller boy, needing to stand on the tips of his toes to do so.
“You didn’t say anything wrong,” the boy croaked into the crook of his neck. “It just means a lot that you care enough to say things like that.”
Shouto’s heart was racing uncontrollably, and he feared that Izuku would be able to feel it with the way their chests were pressed together. His hands hesitantly came to rest on Izuku’s waist, holding the boy as gently as he was beginning to think he'd always wanted to, because his hands yearned with an urge to touch that could not have just appeared overnight. Everything about having Izuku in his arms felt right in a way that could only have been building up for quite some time.
Maybe Momo was right.
“Huh?” Izuku pulled back slightly, just as Shouto had started to rub his back comfortingly, putting the two boys almost nose to nose. Shouto blinked in shock, hardly having time to process their position when Izuku suddenly turned red and backed up quickly, nearly tripping over himself in his haste to get away.
“Sorry!” He blurted out, looking down at his feet and not meeting the other’s eyes. Shouto hardly had time to mourn the loss of contact before Izuku was scrambling to change the subject, questioning, “what did you say Yaoyorozu was right about?”
Frozen, Shouto stared at Izuku wordlessly, mouthing opening and closing with nothing coming out. “I-I,” he stuttered. “I said that?” He practically squeaked, causing Izuku’s expression to twist into something fond.
“You did,” he giggled, twisting his hands together. “Was it something about me?”
“No!” He exclaimed, panicked at the thought of Izuku finding out about his possible crush on him. “Well, kinda?” He saved himself, his mind quickly whirring through possible excuses he could come up with on the spot.
“It-it was just that uh, I was wondering out loud I guess if you being upset earlier had anything to do with your crush?” He covered himself, deciding to take the cowardly way out and place the blame on Momo and Uraraka. He cringed as Izuku’s eyes widened, the boy shaking his head rapidly in panic.
“N-no, what crush?” He gasped, but the lack of eye contact once again proved to Shouto that his friend wasn’t being entirely truthful with him. The realization of the fact that Izuku did indeed have a crush on someone had his heart sinking in his chest, but he still wore a slight smile for his friend so he didn’t suspect anything.
He tapped his arm lightly with his knuckles. “I already know about it, kinda. Uraraka let it slip last night that you were sort of crushing on someone? She didn’t know I was there, only Momo was supposed to hear based off of her reaction so I don’t think she would have said anything if she knew I was around. She didn’t say who it was though, so don’t worry about it,” he laughed humorlessly.
“O-oh,” Izuku gasped, relief flooding his face which only served to send Shouto’s mood even further down. Did he really not trust him that much to the point where his relief of Shouto not knowing was practicably tangible in the air?
“Uh, no, my mood didn’t have anything to do with my uh, m-my crush,” he stuttered shyly, still unable to meet his eyes as the flush was traveling further, continuing its descent onto his neck.
Shouto nodded. “Just didn’t know if there was any trouble in paradise, or anything like that.” He paused, a thought striking him. “Is it Tsuyu?” He blurted out.
Looking at him in shock and confusion, Izuku shook his head slowly. “No? What makes you say that.”
“I think Uraraka started to say their name, is all. Sounded like it might have started with a T…” he trailed off. Was it silly of him to be hung up and upset about this in the first place? What right did he, as Izuku’s friend, have to wish his feelings were requited. Did Izuku even like guys?
“Oh,” he mumbled, something hardening in his eyes as his cheeks flushed but it disappeared by the time his gaze finally met Shouto’s own. “No it’s uh, not Tsuyu. You must have misheard Uraraka.”
Shouto nodded, unsure of what to say. He was torn between wanting to know who it was, and never wanting Izuku to tell him the name of the person who owned his heart. Torn between wanting to ask, and recognizing it was none of his business to pry as Izuku clearly didn’t trust him to the extent that Shouto did. Granted, Shouto would never tell Izuku about his crush, but that’s only because it was the boy himself so it wasn’t the same. This time he was the one to keep his eyes on the ground.
If he was paying attention, he would have noticed the way Izuku’s gaze softened from its initial panic into something that more resembled concern, picking up immediately on the drop in Shouto’s mood. Izuku knew Shouto as well as the other knew him, maybe even better, because despite being hesitant to open up to people, sometimes he wore his emotions on his sleeve. The signs of him beginning to close off and shut down were obvious to those who knew him, as it was obvious to Izuku now.
Shouto felt the back of a hand brush his before careful fingers wrapped around his own, giving his hand a squeeze. He looked up, startled, to find Izuku looking at him carefully with a soft flush to his face, the previous vibrant red from earlier having faded plenty.
“You okay? I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?”
It was more along the lines of what he didn’t say, but Shouto was not selfish and refused to tell him so. Instead, he shook his head. “No, no sorry. You didn’t do anything, I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”
Izuku tilted his head slightly, it was obvious in his eyes that he couldn’t discern if Shouto was being truthful or not but he didn’t push the matter, recognizing their differences. Izuku liked to talk about what was bothering him with the people he trusted, Shouto much preferred to just be comforted without words by those he trusted when he was feeling the same. Primarily--Izuku, although sometimes Momo worked when the boy wasn’t around, or the problem was about him.
Instead, crooked fingers just tightened their grip on his hand as Shouto curled his own fingers--slightly clammy from nerves--around Izuku’s in return. The boy might not know what was upsetting him at the moment, and maybe he never would, but he always knew the right way to show he cared. Izuku might not like him the same way, and he might not trust him as much either, but right now, this was enough. It had to be.
And yes , Shouto admitted to himself. Holding Izuku’s scarred hand felt just as nice as he had always imagined it would.
--
“I think you’re thinking too hard about this, Shouto.” Momo told him gently. She was seated facing him, curled up on one end of the couch while his back rested against the other, their legs stretched out in the space between the two of them.
Shouto glared slightly at her with no real malice behind the look. “I really don’t think I am. Clearly he not only doesn’t return my feelings, he also doesn’t trust me enough to talk about his own in the first place.” He dropped his gaze down to his lap, absentmindedly picking at a loose thread on his pants to give his hands something to occupy themselves with.
Kicking his leg gently with the heel of her foot, she sighed exasperatedly. “You don’t know that. He never said it wasn’t you, and he never said that he didn’t trust you either. You’re coming to conclusions on your own without knowing anything to base them off of in the first place. He might not trust anyone with the information of who he’s potentially crushing on.
“Aren’t you doing the same?” He shot back. “Uraraka knows, so he trusts her at the very least. But not me,” he said bitterly. “He literally blushed when I asked if it was Tsuyu. Why else would he have done that.”
“How did you propose the question to him?” Momo asked, rolling her eyes as she leaned back and crossed her arms together. She raised an eyebrow at him as if she sort of already knew what he was going to say, and Shouto didn’t like that one bit. “In fact, how did you even come to the conclusion that it was Tsuyu in the first place?”
“Uraraka started to say a name that begins with a T when she came to your room that one night. So I told him as much, and asked if it was Tsuyu,” Shouto pouted. “And then he blushed and looked really awkward.”
The glint in Momo’s eyes made him feel as if she expected an answer like that from him. “Ah, I see.” She commented, amused. “Because there’s no one else whose name might start with a T.”
Shouto hesitated. “Oh,” he mumbled as his heart dropped. “I didn’t even think that it could be someone else. What if it’s Iida? Because of Tenya? I wouldn’t stand a chance against one of his best friends.” His gaze drilled holes into where his feet rested on the couch, desperate in trying to stop the burning sensation behind his eyes.
“Shouto,” Momo said softly. “Aren’t you one of his best friends too?” She was regarding him with a look that he recognized as a mixture of sympathy and concern, but he ignored it because he didn’t want her pity over something as trivial as this. At his immaturity in not being able to accept his best friend’s feelings for somebody that wasn’t him.
“I guess so.” He shrugged, unsure of what that had to do with anything. “But I think I probably value our friendship more than he does, so I’m not sure to what extent that title is reciprocated.”
The girl across from him dropped her hand to rest on his shin comfortingly. “Listen. Don’t get stuck in your head about this, alright. Midoriya appreciates you a lot, Todoroki , trust me on—”
Footsteps coming into the room grabbed Shouto’s attention away from his friend, and he yelped loudly, realizing nearly half the class was turning up to the common room for whatever reason, all deciding to gather there.
Momo giggled at the shocked noise he let out, but he hardly noticed as his eyes were on Izuku, who had appeared into the room with the hoard of other students. Izuku, whose gaze was trained on the hand Momo was resting against Shouto’s leg, an odd look in his eye that he didn’t think belonged on the green haired boy’s face. His expression was pinched and borderline unhappy.
Shouto furrowed his brow but pulled his legs away from Momo, turning to sit on the couch normally. Momo huffed at his actions, but in a way that appeared to sound fond. She as well pulled her legs back out in front of her, the spaces in between them now being empty as they were no longer being hogged by the two of them.
Izuku snapped out of his apparent state, his eyes now meeting Shouto’s. He smiled sheepishly. Shouto returned the smile and nodded his head slightly, gesturing for Izuku to come over to sit near him as the other people around them settled down, and he wasn’t too keen on the idea of someone else taking the spot beside him, even if he didn’t know what everyone was here for.
The grin on Izuku’s face brightened, and he padded over happily to the other boy, plopping down next to him on the couch. Even though a respectable distance remained between the two of them, Shouto swore he could still feel the heat emanating from Izuku’s body.
“Hi,” the shorter boy greeted cheerfully.
“Hey,” Shouto greeted him in return, although less cheerful as it wasn’t really in his nature to be as enthusiastic as the other boy often was. On top of that, he was still extremely confused as to what was going on in the common room tonight. “Why is everyone from class here?”
His eyes scanned around the room. “Well, nearly everyone. Bakugou doesn’t appear to have arrived with you all.” Shouto wasn’t sure why the explosive boy in mention had decided to not make an appearance, as he didn’t even know what everyone was doing, but he was internally glad the other boy had not shown. Izuku deserved to have a night of peace without the relentless bullying over the other. Izuku would always swear up and down that he didn’t view it as bullying, and although Shouto disagreed, it wasn’t his place to intervene into a relationship that he would never fully understand.
Fuck, what if he really did mishear Uraraka and Izuku likes someone like Bakugou?
“I forgot you don’t normally come to these,” he commented quietly. “It’s movie night! We do them every Friday night and whoever wants to join is allowed to.” Izuku paused, and pouted. “You never come though.”
Shouto didn’t know why the other boy was pouting at that, was he disappointed that he made an appearance tonight, even if it was accidental?
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I can go if you want me to?” Truthfully, now that he knew what was going on, Shouto wanted to stay as he quite liked the idea of being able to watch a movie with Izuku, even if the two of them weren’t alone. However, Shouto would do anything for Izuku. And if the boy wanted him to leave, then so be it. He would.
From behind the green head of hair, he caught sight of Momo groaning and burying her face into her hands. He didn’t have time to dwell on why she was doing such a thing, because Izuku was gasping and grabbing into Shouto’s arm desperately.
“N-no! No! That’s not what I meant!” He stuttered, waving his hand frantically. “I wish you would come to them more often, is all. I always wish you would show up.” He explained, eyes avoiding Shouto’s own, cheeks slightly pink.
He felt his own face flushing a vibrant red, heart stuttering in his chest even though he knew Izuku didn’t mean his words in that way. It was still nice to hear them. “Oh,” he gasped. “I’m sorry. You could have asked me to come yourself. I didn’t even know these were going on but I would’ve said yes to you.”
For reasons unbeknownst to Shouto, Izuku’s cheeks turned pink. “Ah,” he mumbled, dropping eye contact. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“It’s the truth.”
The pink of Izuku’s cheeks only deepened further. Shouto was still confused as to why, but Momo was smiling at him over Izuku’s head so he assumed it was probably a good thing. But then that threw Shouto off, because if Momo thought it was a good thing did that mean maybe Izuku did like him? Or was that still just her incorrect perception of it?
Feelings were exhausting, and Shouto had no idea how to interpret them. He hardly even knew how to interpret his own as it was.
The sound of loud clapping startled him out of his train of thought, and he looked over to see Kaminari standing in the center of the room clapping his hands together to gain everyone’s attention.
An electrifying smile lit up his face as he beamed. “Due to popular demand, tonight we’re watching a horror movie!”
“If by popular demand you mean yourself, then sure,” he heard Uraraka mutter not so quietly under her breath from the other couch. Izuku muffled laughter into the palm of his hand as Kaminara rolled his eyes.
“Anyways,” he continued. “The film is starting now so everyone quiet down, and actually watch the movie if you're going to sit out here with us.” His gaze flickered over to Shouto and Izuku. “That one goes to you two lovebirds who’ve been staring into each other’s eyes for the past five minutes.”
Izuku’s mouth dropped open and he started stuttering out excuses as Shouto caught fire. Literally. His left shoulder started smoking and a small patch of fire erupted on top of it. Uraraka shrieked, pointing it out but she soon dissolved into giggles as she realized it resulted because of his embarrassment. And truly, that only served to embarrass him further as more attention was drawn to it and the flames grew higher until he clamped his right hand over it, putting it out quickly with his ice.
“Not a word,” he grumbled, ignoring Izuku’s confused and curious gaze as he settled back against the couch. “Start the movie.”
Kaminari snickered to himself but he took pity on Shouto’s request and started the movie, eerie music slowly filling the room. Izuku huffed out a breath as he settled against the couch as well, stealing one more curiously fond glance at the boy sitting next to him. Shouto chose to ignore it but his heart wasn’t on the same page, starting to beat furiously inside his chest.
As the music began to grow more suspenseful, the first scene in the movie appeared on screen, a dark hallway with shadows seemingly moving throughout the rooms. Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he directed his gaze towards it to find that Uraraka was pressing herself up against Tsu’s side. He furrowed his eyebrow in confusion, not understanding why Uraraka would sit that close to Izuku’s crush, when Izuku himself wasn’t even, but then something dawned on him.
Maybe that was why Uraraka didn’t want to hear Izuku talk about it anymore? Because she liked Tsuyu as well and was jealous?
If that was the case, Shouto might have to warn Izuku about that soon. His friend could get his heartbroken and Shouto needed to be there for him in support. Of course it would hurt to see and hear about his friend crushing on someone else, but he should be able to push his feelings aside and focus on what matters. Izuku’s feelings.
Shouto looked back to the movie, to find the scene now focused on a young girl sleeping by herself in a room as the floorboards creaked around her, signaling that something was most likely in the room with her. In all honesty, Shouto didn’t really understand the appeal of horror movies. They were almost always predictable and unrealistic. He hadn’t had the opportunity to see too many in his lifetime, but at the very least he had seen enough to know he found them to be quite boring.
Despite his own thoughts about them, that didn’t stop Izuku from shifting closer to Shouto. He glanced down at the boy attempting to casually scoot closer, quirking an eyebrow.
“You good?” He whispered quietly, not intending to catch the other off guard but he flinched anyways. “Sorry,” he added.
Izuku looked up at him with wide eyes. “Not you, the movie already has me on edge,” he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”
With the corner of his mouth lifting slightly, Shouto shrugged. “Nothing to apologize for.”
“You don’t seem that scared yourself,” Izuku accused lightheartedly, most likely keeping the conversation going in attempts to distract himself from what was on screen, although every few seconds his gaze flickered back over to it, unable to help himself.
He shrugged again. “I don’t know. They’ve never bothered me that much. I know none of it is real and I think there are far scarier things in real life than something as silly as a ghost.”
Things such as Izuku not returning his feelings. Villains. Death. His father.
Izuku was regarding him with a sad look. He scooted closer once more until their shoulders were nearly brushing. He didn’t say anything else but he patted his hand gently, returning his focus back to the movie.
Shouto spent the better part of the next hour watching the movie with everyone else, not quite sharing their feelings on it, however. When the movie was almost over, about fifteen minutes left, he guessed, a weight fell upon his shoulder.
Shifting carefully, he looked over to find Izuku asleep, with his head resting on him.
How cliche, Shouto thought to himself as he caught Momo’s sleepy but fond gaze. How terribly cliche that Shouto’s crush would fall asleep on him. He kept himself perfectly still so as to not wake the other boy. A part of him felt as if he should, but Shouto was selfish. He was selfish, and he wanted Izuku to stay this close to him for as long as he could.
The feeling of Izuku’s soft puffs of air against his neck filled Shouto with the urge to be closer, but he knew this would be all he would ever get and that he would have to be okay with it. The warmth of the body temporarily pressed against him was enough. The fact that Izuku felt so comfortable around him to fall asleep on him, especially during a scary movie, was enough.
But all good things must come to an end, because the moment Izuku’s hand twitched closer to his own in his sleep, Uraraka groaned loudly as the movie finished, shoving her face into her hands. The noise she made was loud enough to stir the dead, proven by the fact that Izuku slowly blinked awake. Shouto held his breath as he felt Izuku stir, nuzzling into his shoulder for a split moment until his senses caught up to him quickly and he shoved himself backwards.
His eyes were wide as he blinked rapidly, and Shouto offered him a sheepish smile.
“I’m so sorry,” Izuku gasped. “I must have been more tired than I realized, I-I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. I, um.” He dropped eye contact as his face reddened in his embarrassment.
“It’s okay,” he reassured. Because truly, it was. If anything, he should be the one apologizing for enjoying the contact with someone who was nothing more than a friend. “You were no problem. It happens.”
Izuku let out a pained noise. “N-no it’s not okay you don’t….I…” he trailed off as his head snapped up, eyes flickering around the room as if he just remembered they weren’t alone. “I should get going. The movie was great, goodnight everyone.” He rushed out and was off the couch and out of the room a second later, not even sparing Shouto a glance before he left.
Shouto felt his heart sink. Is this what rejection feels like?
Clearly he did something to make the other boy uncomfortable. He should have known he was being too selfish by not waking the other boy, placing himself over Izuku’s comfort. The green haired boy would never willingly get that close to him while awake. He knew that yet he allowed it to happen anyways, and he made Izuku uncomfortable. He swallowed harshly.
“Shouto,” Momo said carefully, eyeing him with caution as she took in his sunken expression. “Don’t let your thoughts take you there, I know what you’re feeling right now.”
“How could you know,” he mumbled, feeling pathetic. Or maybe that’s exactly why she did, because he knew how pathetic he was, falling for the first person to ever extend friendship towards him. Falling for the one person he couldn’t have, seeing too much into their relationship. The one person he never wanted to lose.
He rose from the couch. “I’m going to head up to my room. Thank you for allowing me to partake in this movie night,” he said without meeting the other’s eyes. Missing the way Uraraka and Momo exchanged troubled glances behind his back.
He didn’t sleep that much that night.
--
If it wasn’t clear to Shouto before that he had messed up terribly, it was absolutely clear now. It was in the way Izuku refused to make eye contact with him all morning, rushing out of his classes so he didn’t have to walk with Shouto like they always did, and even going as far to eat lunch with All Might. The last wasn’t something that was unnecessarily out of character for him, but that piled on top of everything else just confirmed the fact that Izuku was doing all that he could to avoid him.
Sitting with the rest of the group at lunch wasn’t the same without Izuku there, or at least with the knowledge that he may not return there for who knows how long. Should Shouto stop sitting with them so that way Izuku can return to be with his friends? Was he being selfish as well, for assuming he still had a place there with everyone? He wasn’t sure. He hadn’t ever had friends before UA and had no idea how the protocol for things like this went.
A foot nudged his own under the table and he looked up to see Uraraka regarding him with a gentle but worried expression. “How are you feeling Todoroki?”
He swallowed. “I’m fine,” he replied shortly. Definitely not convincing enough, as Uraraka’s brow furrowed further. He was filled with guilt at the fact that he’s the one who placed such a sad expression on the typically cheerful girl’s face.
Uraraka hesitated before answering, but she gave in and said what she was thinking. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know. It’s okay to not be. I can tell you’re bothered by what happened.”
Shouto looked away. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I can assure you, I’m fine.” He sighed when she still looked unconvinced. “I should be going, now.”
He stood up quickly and left the table despite the protests bubbling out of the small girl, discarding his lunch into the trash on his way out of the cafeteria. He wished things were different.
The rest of the day and the following went the same. Izuku avoided Shouto at training after lunch, and continued to avoid him throughout the rest of the next day. He was feeling so disheartened that he felt as if he had no right to call him Izuku anymore. He voiced that much, at dinner on day two of the green haired boy avoiding him.
Momo was sitting there as well, that day, sensing that Shouto could use another friendly face at the table. Her mouth dropped open and her eyebrows rose, expression comically similar to that of Uraraka, and the rest of the table’s, to be honest. Iida and Tsuyu looked shocked as well.
“What do you mean?” Momo squeaked.
“It feels wrong to continue to refer to him as Izuku now that he no longer wants to be in my life,” he said casually, as if it wasn’t eating him up on the inside. He added, “I’m also not sure if I should continue to sit here.”
Iida looked taken aback. “Ah, Todoroki. Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but I do feel as if you’re thinking too hard about this. I’m sure things are not as they seem. Midoriya appears to be going through something, and he needs time to himself.”
“Plus, he asked you to call him Izuku. I don’t think he would go back on something like that so quickly.” Momo added.
Shouto shrugged. “It seems as if I’m the only one he needs time away from. I clearly made him uncomfortable.”
“I don’t think your feelings are enough to push him away, Shouto. You two are very close, I do not believe he would let something like that come between you both.” Momo stated firmly.
Shouto’s eyes widened and Momo paled as she realized what she let slip to the rest of the group.
“Feelings?” Uraraka repeated faintly. “You have...feelings for Izuku.” She groaned and put her head in her hands. Iida appeared to be constipated.
Shouto could hear his heartbeat pounding in his head as all the blood rushed to it. “I-I’m sorry. I know, I shouldn’t. He’s just my friend--maybe not even--as he’s demonstrated these past two days. I’m sorry.”
Uraraka’s head snapped back up to face him. “No!” She shouted, and then ducked her head down sheepishly at her volume. “I just mean no , don’t apologize Todoroki, you did nothing wrong. You’re allowed to feel that way.”
“Not if it’s at the expense of Izuku’s own comfort,” he said quietly.
Tsuyu’s gaze softened as Uraraka’s gaze hardened.
“Oh-oh, he’s such an idiot. I’m going to need to have a word with him. My god. Iida, can you believe--” she cut herself off, sighing heavily, looking back to Shouto with an expression on her face that was quite frightening for her, if he was being honest. “You did not make him uncomfortable. Stop thinking that, okay? I promise.”
Shouto nodded, unconvinced. “Sure.”
“Just...try talking to him one more time tonight, okay? If he doesn’t respond well then I’ll-I’ll talk some sense into him.”
“You don’t have to intervene in our--”
“Todoroki,” Iida interrupted. “As representative of class 1-A, it is my duty to make sure all the students are getting along! I assure you it is of no problem to us and we will fix the issue!”
He blinked. “Okay, if you say so. Please don’t tell him about my uh, about how I feel,” he requested.
“Of course! I would never betray you in such a way, you have my promise.” Iida said solemnly.
He nodded once more. Shouto needed to think about how he would talk to Izuku tonight, and what he would say if the boy let him. “I’m going to go to my room now. I need time to plan what I’ll talk to him about.”
The other’s nodded, and bid him an understanding farewell.
A few hours passed, and he was now standing outside of Izuku’s room. He took a deep breath, and raised his fist to knock on the door gently. After a few moments, the door opened.
“Ochako, I’ve already told you, I don’t need you to--oh. Shout--ah, Todoroki. Sorry, I thought you were Ochako.” Izuku mumbled, not looking directly at him. Which was good, because Shouto was fairly certain if the next few minutes didn’t go well, that he was going to end up on the verge of tears. He called him Todoroki. Even though he himself had questioned if he should do the same, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were expecting her,” he said quietly.
“I’m not. She’s just been showing up unannounced lately and sent me a strangely threatening text earlier. Not too sure what that was about,” he laughed weakly, arm coming up to scratch at his neck in his discomfort. “Uh, what are you doing here though?”
Shouto swallowed. “Why are you avoiding me?” He asked bluntly. Izuku, no, Midoriya’s eyes widened.
“I-I’m not? I don’t know why you would think that, Todoroki.” His eyes flicked around their surroundings nervously as he tugged at the collar of his shirt.
“You are. You’re not calling me Shouto anymore either.” He accused. “Why? Did I do something?”
“You didn’t do anything,” he replied, avoiding acknowledging the rest of what Shouto said.
“Well you’re not really acting like I did nothing wrong. I’ve made you uncomfortable somehow.” He stated, voice cracking as he started to feel angry at the way Midoriya was denying everything but still acting the same.
“Listen,” Midoriya said. “I don’t really have time for this right now, I’m sorry. I need to study.” His gaze rested somewhere around their feet.
That stung . “Okay,” Shouto complied, feeling embarrassed with the way his friend (ex-friend?) couldn’t make time for him anymore. “I’ll leave you alone then. You can have your friends back as well. They only ever tolerated me because of you, anyways.” He said, as he turned and started to walk away from the doorway Midoriya never invited him through.
“Wait, what? What do you mean?” The other called, clearly confused by Shouto’s ending statement. “Sh--Todoroki?”
But Shouto didn’t have it in him to answer. He would realize soon enough, anyways.
Before he made it back to his room again, he made a brief stop to the common room, as Momo, Uraraka, Iida, and Tsuyu were there, amongst others.
“How’d it go?” Uraraka questioned carefully, unable to discern anything from the blank look on his face.
“He called me Todoroki.” He replied simply, and that was enough for Momo’s face to fall and Uraraka’s to twist into something close to rage.
For such a sweet girl, she could be scary when she wanted to.
--
Once again, the next day pretty much went the same as the last two. The only difference was Midoriya was paying attention to him again, and it almost felt as though Shouto was the one doing the avoiding now. He rushed out of classes, because Midoriya continuously shot him glances, and he was afraid the boy still had more to say to him. Maybe Uraraka and Iida did tell him about Shouto’s feelings and now that he was certain of it, he was going to reject him.
But Shouto already got the message loud and clear, he didn’t need it clarified any further.
Due to what he told Midoriya last night, and also the fact that he wasn’t keen on running into the boy, he decided to skip lunch and sit outside by himself. Despite what the others assured him, he knew deep down that he was being selfish. Midoriya deserved to sit with his friends without the presence of someone he didn’t want to be around, and he knew his friends would much rather sit with Midoriya as well. They had only ever been friends because of Midoriya anyway.
He sat with his back against a tree, staring off into nothing. It was actually peaceful, if he was being honest. No one nearby for him to have to pretend around.
That was until he heard footsteps behind him, and he turned around to see Midoriya regarding him with a concerned expression.
“Todoroki? Why aren’t you inside with everyone?”
The green haired boy had his head cocked to the side in confusion, looking down at Shouto as he walked over to his side. He crouched down next to him, which is closer than the two have been to each other for days. That might not be a long time to some people, and honestly Shouto should be used to it with the way he grew up, but Midoriya’s presence had become too familiar to him too quickly.
“And what did you mean yesterday?”
“Guess you’re done avoiding me now?” Shouto deflected.
Midoriya reeled back slightly and looked to the side. “I’m sorry.”
Shouto laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. I would avoid me too.”
At that, Midoriya’s head turned sharply to look back at him again. “What do you mean by that?”
He shrugged. “I made you uncomfortable at the movie night. I know I did, because you freaked out there and have been avoiding me ever since. And your friends only ever put up with me because of you, so I’m back to sitting by myself again. Because you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and you don’t even want to hang around me anymore so why would they.” His voice was wavering slightly with pent up emotion, picking at his fingers to give himself something to do to fill the awkward space he created.
Midoriya looked at him in shock and waved his hands rapidly. “N-no wait, I think there’s been a misunderstanding, um--”
“You don’t have to lie. I know I’m not the greatest friend in the world. I’m too closed off and don’t speak enough to add any actual value to hanging out. And I got too selfish.” He sighed, voice cracking and he was embarrassingly close to tears.
Midoriya spluttered and grabbed his arm to get his attention. “ Selfish? Wait, Todoroki--”
“I thought I could have more,” he continued, ignoring Midoriya as he needed to get everything off his chest and he couldn’t let the other boy stop him, because he feared he would never get another chance to say it again. “That was selfish. You only ever saw me as a friend, possibly hardly even that, but I wanted more. I-I’ve been so afraid to lose you but it happened anyways. Because I got too greedy with the first friendship I’ve ever received from someone and I took it for granted. I’m sorry.”
He risked a glance at Midoriya to find the other boy staring at him through widened eyes and with his mouth dropped open. His face was rapidly flushing to match the color of his own. The only sign of movement he showed was his tightening grip on Shouto’s arm.
“I had to tell you, I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel the same, but I--”
This time Midoriya cut him off, but not with exactly his words.
His hands scrambled to grab the color of Shouto’s uniform and he pulled them closer until their noses were nearly touching. Shouto stayed perfectly still.
“I am such an idiot,” Midoriya muttered. “Also, shut up.”
And then he pressed their lips together.
It was a soft and gentle kiss, their lips moved slowly against each other’s. Shouto was absolutely confused but he wasn’t complaining because he wasn’t sure if he would ever get this chance again, to have Midoriya how he had always wanted him.
Midoriya’s hand was curled lightly around his arm, his other coming up to rest at the nape of his neck. He was so gentle with him that Shouto could cry. He didn’t even realize he was until Midoriya pulled back, his own eyes watering as he gently swiped his thumbs over his cheeks to rid Shouto of his tears.
“I don’t understand,” he whispered. “Why are you doing this?"
“I’m so sorry,” Midoriya apologized. “Shouto--can I still call you that?”
He couldn’t do anything but nod, and he (Izuku?) leaned forward to pull him into a tight hug. He buried his face into Shouto’s shoulder, pressing himself in as close as he could. “Is this okay?”
Shouto responded by wrapping his arms around him carefully, and Izuku let out a broken sigh.
“I pushed you away because I was embarrassed,” the boy confessed.
“Because you fell asleep on me?” He replied, genuinely confused. What was embarrassing about that? Was it because it was him ?
“Not just that. I um, I was embarrassed because I lied about being scared about horror movies so I could sit closer to you, but then I fell asleep which I thought gave me away because who falls asleep during a movie they’re supposedly scared of, you know? And I was so sure that you might have caught on to me because when I woke up you were really tense and there’s no way you hadn’t realized and I didn’t want to scare you away so I-I distanced myself. Because I thought it was the smart thing to do.” Izuku rambled, almost talking too quickly for Shouto to keep up with. His hands were fisted tightly in the back of Shouto’s uniform, definitely wrinkling the material.
“I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was sitting stiffly because I was afraid to move and wake you. I didn’t want to wake you, I liked that you felt that comfortable with me.” He confessed. “But I don’t understand, what did you think I would realize?”
Izuku groaned. “I just kissed you, you should know by now.”
Shouto might have had an inkling with the kiss and the way Izuku was holding onto him like he never wanted to let go, but he was too afraid to get his hopes up. “I’m a little slow on the uptake of understanding emotions. You should probably spell it out for me,” he said hesitantly.
Izuku nodded. “Okay. I can do that. You deserve that.” He loosened his grip, pulling away from Shouto so he could look him in the eye. “I like you,” he stated, not an ounce of uncertainty in his expression. “I like you a lot. And I’m so sorry that I never considered your feelings when I distanced myself, and that I made you feel unwanted. You could never be unwanted, not by me, our friends, or anyone. You should never have to feel like that,” he said softly.
Shouto felt his eyes welling with tears.
“I was just so certain that you didn’t feel the same because why would you--you’re you . Despite what you think, you’re the best person I know. You’re not too closed off. You opened up so much to me one of the first times we spoke. And you might not speak a lot, but that’s okay. That just makes you who you are, and you always speak when it matters anyways. You’re always there for me. I should have been there for you too,” Izuku looked down. “I got into my head and started overthinking things. I may not show it with the way I recklessly throw myself into things sometimes,” he laughed, ”but I’m never reckless when it comes to you. I care too much.”
“I care about you too,” Shouto croaked. He never, not in a million years, expected Izuku to return his feelings. He couldn’t even describe the feeling inside of him, his chest felt like it was on fire. He’s surprised he wasn’t literally, that he had yet to burst into flames.
A soft smile covered Izuku’s face. “If you can find it in yourself to forgive me, I would like to take you out sometime to make up for how I treated you these past few days.”
“You’ve already been forgiven, I can never stay mad at you,” Shouto said shyly. “But I-I would like that.”
Izuku grinned. “Okay then. It’s a date.”
Shouto flushed, and Izuku dropped his hand to find his and he laced their fingers together. “Now how about we go back to lunch to sit with our friends, okay?” He suggested. “Just because they became your friends through me, doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Alright?”
Izuku laughed. “In fact, when I finally showed up to lunch today Ochako almost beat me up for your sake, Iida had to restrain her. She’s very protective over you.”
Shouto allowed himself to smile as well. “Yes, she was slightly frightening when she found out what was going on.”
“Well, her anger was deserved I think. And don’t bother telling me it wasn’t, I won’t listen to you.”
He laughed softly.
The two of them returned to the cafeteria together, hand in hand, and when Momo met his eyes and her gaze lit up he knew everything would be okay.
And Uraraka totally kicked Izuku’s ass later that night for being an idiot.