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Jaehyun, like any other 20-year-old college student, has a lot of regrets in life. Sitting next to Johnny Suh in his Intro to Law class is not one of them, but indulging him on his crazy ideas, like creating the “Almighty SNU’s Innamoratos” club was definitely on his top five of the biggest most life-threatening decisions he has ever made. Right now, as he stands in front of his best friend and founder of the club, he was especially regretful of that decision.
“So, who is the new victim?”
“Now, Jae, if you are referring to the lucky chosen one who will get to enjoy our attention for the next couple of weeks. Well then, I’m excited to tell you is no other than our very own Student Council President, Kim Doyoung,” said a smug-looking Johnny wiggling his eyebrows before frowning, “actually, now that you’ve reminded me, I have to send him his notice email before classes start next week”
“Are you kidding me, Johnny? Kim Doyoung? Really?” whined Jaehyun pushing Johnny away from him, “out of the over the hundred submissions you get, you chose him?”
“What can I say? We like a challenge”
As with almost everything Johnny did, the “Almighty SNU’s Innamoratos” club was not just a club. It was, in Yuta’s - another one of the members and, unfortunately, another one of Jaehyun’s best friends - words, a gathering of four striking handsome men whose sole purpose was to love and be loved. Or, in Jaehyun’s words, a so-called club where his four idiotic best friends gathered to make bets on who could land a date with the chosen person of the semester faster. Generally, at the beginning of each month, the club let the rest of the student body submit the name of the person they thought deserved to be the recipient of their attention. Therefore, despite what most people on campus believed -and the jokes Jaehyun occasionally made - the club’s real purpose was to make the chosen one feel loved, so they usually chose students who were going through some rough patch in their romantic life, or simply needed someone to cheer them up. Proof of that was the last student the club had chosen, Oh Sehun, who had broken up with his boyfriend of two years, Kim Junmyeon, the week before. Sehun had seemed considerably happier by the end of the month after going on a date with Johnny and even more excited after finding out that it had been his ex who had submitted him to the club after finding out he had been crestfallen, which had led to them getting back together.
Overall, the ASI club was truly something out of a romantic drama, which is why Jaehyun had rejected being part of it, but because he was always with them, everyone who knew of the club thought he was part of it. It had never really been a problem, but he was completely sure it would be one now. Why? Well, ever since high school junior Jaehyun had heard Kim Doyoung sing on one of his high school’s assemblies he had been wholly infatuated with him. Three years down the line, he was still pathetically pining after the newly appointed SNU Student Council President and now third-year pre-law student Kim Doyoung.
“Are you mad at me for going on a road trip with Jungwoo instead of going to your house during the holidays? Is that it? Is that why you’ve decided to punish me?”
“Of course not”, laughed Johnny, “actually, all four of us chose him so don’t even try to blame only me brat”
“Please, you and I know perfectly well that if you really wanted someone else to be chosen, you would make it happen”
“Well, I had a good reason to chose Doyoung okay? You’ll thank me later on”
Thank him? Jaehyun wanted to kill him, “whatever”, grumbled the boy annoyed before checking the time on his watch, “I have to go help Jungwoo move into his new apartment but don’t think this conversation is over Johnny Suh, I want to know what exactly is the reason for this deception”
The other boy simply chuckled before hugging and twirling him around until he laughed and told him to stop, “We’ll talk later then, say hi to Woo for me, won’t you? I’ll see you home later new roomie!”
***
Doyoung liked to believe he was a very peaceful person, but right now, as he read the email opened on his laptop, where it clearly stated that he had been “chosen” by the ASI club as their new object of attention and asked him for his consent to pursue him, he was feeling particularly violent.
Annoyed, he started writing a reply to the email when he was interrupted by his phone ringing. And, as he expected, it was his best friend calling him.
“Lee Taeyong you’re going to be so fucking dead once I get my hands on you”
On the other side of the line, Taeyong started giggling before answering, “So you already got the email then?”
“Yes, I fucking got the email already. Why the hell did you think it was a good idea to submit me when I explicitly told you I did not want you to do it?”
“Because it’ll be good for you Doie!,” responded his friend excitedly, “you told me your mom complained excessively about how you don’t go out enough and you complained about how you genuinely wanted to start going on dates!”
“Not like this!”, protested Doyoung laying down on his bed, “I don’t want to go on a pity date with any of them, especially, considering that they will be betting on who gets me first or whatever”
“Well, yeah, but you could use it as practice for when you go on a real date”
“Don’t even start Lee Taeyong, not if you don’t want me to talk about you-know-who and how you still can’t admit how in love you’re with him”
“OKAY, I GET IT! I won’t say nothing”, replied the other rolling his eyes before proudly saying, “but if you’re thinking of rejecting them, you should know that, as it happens, Kun approved of this idea. He even talked to Ten to convince him to accept you!”
“To Ten? So I am that pitiful that he endured talking to the devil to get me chosen? That just makes everything worse!”
Taeyong groaned frustrated and sat up on his bed before answering, “Kim Doyoung! Stop trying to make it seem like we begged them to date you! You know very well we wouldn’t do something like that, we simply gave them good enough reasons for them to choose you. It wasn’t even hard, Jungwoo is part of the club. So just stop trying to sell yourself short, you are a great catch! Anyone would be lucky to date you! Just accept the fucking offer to be courted by them! If I find out later that you rejected them I will be the one who’ll beat you up! Good-fucking-bye!”, yelled Taeyong before hanging up.
Amused by his friend’s attitude, Doyoung stood up from his bed and walked to his desk. Frowning, he reread the email the ASI club had sent him.
From: [email protected]
Good afternoon Kim Doyoung!
Greeting from the Almighty SNU’s Innamoratos club! On this beautiful day, we have the pleasure to salute you and communicate to you that you are in luck! You’ve been chosen by our extraordinary selves to be our beloved for as long as it takes for you to fall for one of us. We must say that the wonderful words with which your sweet best friends described you intrigued us immediately and it took us no longer than a couple of hours to realize there was no one else we wanted to love more for the time being than you.
As the gentlemen we are, we would like to explicitly say that your consent is of the utmost importance and vital for our love story to begin its course. You are free to reject us - although it would hurt us an immense amount and would leave a scar in our hearts that would be there for the rest of our lives. But don’t fear pretty one, we will still have the strength to move on - and even if you accept us now, you are under no obligation to continue accepting us as the weeks go by, you are free to reject us and ask to stop being courted at any given moment.
We’ll anxiously await your answer.
Best regards,
your (hopefully) innamoratos
Well, thought Doyoung resigned while writing his response, what is the worst thing that could happen?
From: [email protected]
You sons of bitches, I’m in.
Good luck making me “fall” for one of your annoying asses!
Do your worst!
Kim Doyoung
SNU Student Council President
***
Doyoung has never been a good liar, not when he was a five-year-old kid with sticky fingers behind his back and telling his mom it had been his brother Gong Myung who had eaten all the ice cream, and not now with a smug-looking Taeyong asking him how was he enjoying the attention from the ASI club.
“I’m not enjoying it”
“Come on Doie!”, whined annoyed his best friend while he started eating his oatmeal cookie, “just admit it! Having all those handsome men after you has to be fun, especially because I know how flustered you get when people flirt with you”
Watching the crumbs from his friend’s cookie fall on his book, Doyoung scoffed and closed his book before turning and saying, “you of all people know I only get flustered when the flirting comes from someone I actually like”
“So none of them have had any success wooing you?”
“Mmm, I would definitely not say they have been unsuccessful”, smiling reluctantly while Taeyong beamed next to him he said, “but, yeah, I can’t say I haven’t been looking forward to our hangouts”
True to their words, the members from the ASI club had been a constant presence in Doyoung’s routine since the beginning of the semester. From the hot chocolate on his desk every monday morning courtesy from Johnny, the impromptu singing duets he had with Jungwoo on their wednesday afternoon’s studying sessions, the friday night’s tv marathons he had with Yuta, the saturday nights parties he went to with Ten to dance, to the highlight of his week, his cooking classes with Jaehyun on sunday afternoon and their consequently non-dates at the café near his dorm.
Doyoung has always been a ‘kept to oneself’ kind of person, not letting anyone see him vulnerable, and even if Taeyong was his best friend, he was still wary of admitting that ever since he had been chosen as Student Council President last year, the overwhelming responsibilities had made him miserable. He had had little time for anything else other than his studies and his duties as president, and it had been only because he had gotten sick - for not eating any meals, and living solely off some snacks and coffee for close to 3 days - and passing out on his way to a class that he had been forced to admit how badly he was coping with his new responsibilities. The episode had resulted in Taeyong stepping in as Vice-President and a nerve-wracking hole in Doyoung’s routine. What was he supposed to do with all that sudden free time? He didn’t have that many close friends, and with Taeyong determined to take some duties off his back, he had less time to hang out. As a result, he had ended up signing up for a singing class, where he had met Jungwoo.
If Doyoung was completely honest, he had suspected for a while that he was going to be the next ASI’s club “chosen one”. Between becoming friends with Jungwoo, a very well known member of the club who, after meeting Taeyong, had adopted some of his overprotective tendencies when it came to Doyoung, which now included pushing him out of his comfort zone to make more friends, it was sooner rather than later when he started noticing the others members attention on him - and Taeyong and Jungwoo’s mysterious meetings at the later’s flat that weren’t as secretive as they liked to think. When at the end of the semester Taeyong had suddenly started hanging out with Johnny, notoriously known for being the founder of the club, he had known that ‘friendship’ meant trouble. So here he was, spending five out of the seven days of the week being publicly wooed.
“Well, of course, you’re having fun”, said Taeyong rolling his eyes, “all your necessities and non-necessities are quite literally being taken care of by four good-looking men”
Looking up from his phone Doyoung raised his eyebrows, “four? you mean five”
“Yep, totally meant five, silly me hahaha”, laughed Taeyong before rapidly taking a sip from his coffee, “anyhow, today is tuesday, that means you are free right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Want to come to my art class? We’re doing paint splatter art! Nothing like randomly throwing some paint on a canvas to distress”
“Sounds fun, I’m in”, putting his book on his bag and standing up, Doyoung watched as an excited Taeyong cheered quietly before standing up as well and throwing his coffee cup on the nearest bin, “lead the way”.
It wasn’t the first time Doyoung was going to one of his best friend’s art classes, but it was the first time said best friend seemed so enthusiastic about it. Entering the classroom and seeing Jaehyun and Ten on it explained a lot.
“Hi, guys! What are you doing here?”
“Well, dear Doyoung, as I am sure you know, I’m an art student, so, naturally, I take art classes”, replied smirking Ten before putting his arm around Jaehyun’s shoulder, “Our dear Jaehyunie here though, is here for an entirely different reason”
“Right. So Jaehyun, you are here because...?”
“Um, well, I failed a test yesterday and I just wanted to throw some paint around and not think about anything, you know?”, Doyoung did know, he was well acquainted with those kinds of feelings, the ones that came with disappointing results of hours of genuine effort and little to no sleep.
“Oh no, was it the test you mentioned last sunday about constitutional law?”
“Y-yeah, ha, I didn’t think you would remember that”
Doyoung frowned. He didn’t know why but he felt a bit offended. “Of course I remember Jae, why wouldn’t I?”
“I just- I kind of said it as an afterthought? I didn’t even remember telling you about it till now, a-and you know, why would you care about some test I mention in passing?”, replied a flustered Jaehyun before ducking his head and massaging his red ears.
Cute
Doyoung grinned and took Jaehyun’s hands away from his ears before saying, “I’ll have you know I have a very good memory Jung, and I pay attention to everything you say”
“Interesting, because I’m pretty sure you forgot I had a test last week even though I told you about it at least a dozen times”
Doyoung turned to a pouting Taeyong and a clearly entertained Ten who was trying, and failing, not to laugh, “Hey, that’s not fair! I was studying every single time you mentioned the test. You could not expect me to pay attention to what you were saying then”
Taeyong scoffed offended and looked ready to argue when Ten interrupted, “Okaaay, we can argue all day about how Doyoung definitely does not pay attention to what others say, but Professor Kwon is about to come so we better set up our stations”
Doyoung was ready to protest and hit Ten when a smiling Jaeyun tapped him on the shoulder, “Doie, do you want to sit next to me?”
Fucking dimples, who can say no to them?
It was going to be a long two hours.
And yet, seeing Jaehyun set up both of their stations while he quietly hummed to a song under his breath, Doyoung was already having fun.
***
“Let me see if I got it right, Doyoung doesn’t know Jaehyun isn’t part of the club? He has no idea that he is trying to date him for real? He isn’t even suspicious about it?”
“He is absolutely clueless Johnny, like, last night while we were having dinner I asked about his cooking class and he spent like 15 minutes talking non-stop about Jaehyun and how tired he looked lately and how he was thinking of telling him to maybe take a break from the club’s activities because he was occupied enough with his classes”, moving to lay on his bed Taeyong was out of frame from the video call for a few seconds before appearing again with a lollipop on his mouth
Johnny smiled and closed his laptop before laying down on his bed as well, “Ah, that pair of dumbasses, did he tell you what Jaehyunn said back?”
“Kinda? He said Jaehyun seemed nervous but ended up assuring him he was okay before somehow talking more about how their café date had been. Honestly, he is either deep in denial or is straight-up an oblivious idiot”, Taeyong whined and looked directly at Johnny through the screen before complaining, “He doesn’t pay any attention to me anymore, me! I was the one who has been with him all these years and now all he talks about is Jaehyun and his stupid dimples”
Johnny laughed loudly before cooing at the smaller boy at the other side of the call, “don’t worry Tae, you may not longer have Doyoung’s undivided attention, but you sure have mine”
Taeyong giggled and looked away for a second before pouting, “Now, don’t lie Johnny, I’m not the one you bring chocolate to every monday morning, am I?”
“Well, no, but you are the one who gets to cuddle me every friday night while we have some take out and watch movies”
“You got me there” Taeyong looked away and shouted something out of frame, “oh, I think Doie is home, I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow in the library okay?”
“Sure, baby, send my regards to Doie and remind him that Jungwoo can’t make it to their study session today, okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll tell him, byeeee”
Johnny grinned watching the other boy cutely puckering his lips imitating a kiss before ending the call. Hearing the lock of his apartment turn and what sounded like his moron of best friend moaning about being hungry, he turned towards the door of his bedroom just in time to see Jaehyun enter.
“Johnnyyyy, there’s no bread and I’m hungry. I want a sandwich, can you go buy some bread?”
“You just came back, why didn’t you buy some on your way back? I texted you a while ago telling you there was no bread”
The younger boy took out his phone from his pocket and pouted when he opened his messages, “Aw man, I didn’t see it, I was studying with Doie and had my phone on silence”
“Not my problem”
“Whatever, I can buy something on my way back to the library later”
“You are going out again?”
Jaehyun smiled while looking through the clothes in his closet before replying, “since Jungwoo can't make it today for their studying session, Doie asked me to hang out”, the excited boy put on a jacket before turning around, “We’ll go to a karaoke!”
Johnny huffed amused before standing up and putting both of his hands on his best friend’s shoulders and squinting his eyes, “karaoke huh? Sounds fun, but may I know, when are you planning to tell him you aren’t part of the ASI club and are in no way falsely ‘wooing’ him?”
“Huh, I- mmm, I don’t- I wasn’t planning on telling him?”
“You’re an idiot Jung Jaehyun”
Johnny was right, Jaehyun was an idiot and he was well aware of that. Not only was he letting Doyoung believe he was part of the club, but he felt that, in a way, the older was somehow obligated to hang out with him for the sake of the wooing process.
To be fair, he joined the cooking class with no knowledge that Doyoung was part of it - although, considering it had been Jungwoo who had told him about the class in the first place, he was starting to believe his friends had planned it - and he genuinely thought Doyoung was hanging out with him because he wanted to and not because of the whole club thing. He didn’t even realize the older boy assumed he was part of the club till a week ago, and he was now in too deep, the last few weeks had only confirmed what he had suspected for a while now, his crush had turned into full-on love for the bunny looking older boy.
In conclusion? Jung Jaehyun was fucked. How do you tell the boy you are in love with that you’ve been hitting on him for a month and a half because you wanted to and not because you're part of a club of boys who he agreed to ‘date’ at the beginning of the semester? Simple, you don’t.
“You’re being ridiculous, I’m sure Doyoung would just laugh it off”
“You don’t know that”, whined Jaehyun before face-planting on his bed, “what if he thinks I’m a creep? or worse, what if he thinks I’m just messing with him?”
“So what then? You’ll just continue pretending you are part of the club and hope for him to pick you as his date?”
“Yeah, and then I’ll just ask him out for real and pray for the best”
Looking dejected Johnny mumbled something under his breath while he shook his head and left the room yelling, “Can’t wait to say ‘I told you so’ once your plan fails!”
Jaehyun knew objecting to what Johnny said was a lost battle. Not only was his best friend a stubborn asshole, but he was also annoyingly smart.
The sudden start of Lauv’s new song coming from his phone startled him and brought him out of his stupor.
doie
wanna go eat something after meeting up on the lib?
there’s no food in my dorm :(
jae
sure
there’s no food here either hehe
doie
great!
see u in an hour then?
jae
yeees
See, the thing with Jaehyun is that he’s been infatuated with Doyoung for so long and had made zero advances till just recently, so he simply couldn’t help but believe that nothing would come out of it or that by the time he grew some balls and confessed, it would be too late.
When the older boy paid any sort of attention to him in high school he used to turn completely red, stutter and ended up looking like a nervous wreck. It had taken Jaehyun over a year and plenty of sessions with his therapist to gain enough confidence to approach Doyoung, who by then was about to graduate. The then-new and more confident Jaehyun had talked to his crush, he hadn’t turned red, he hadn’t stuttered, but he had felt absolutely defeated when he learned that Doyoung was moving away for college. A year later, while walking towards his freshman dorm, Jaehyun had caught sight of Doyoung and the butterflies on his stomach, which he had thought were long gone, came back stronger than ever.
From then on, and even if they weren’t friends per se, Jaehyun always looked forward to running into him every morning on the law faculty building, and he especially anticipated the gummy smiles and soft hellos the older boy directed towards him every single time. As it happens though, all that changed when Jungwoo befriended Doyoung last semester, which had led to his friend occasionally inviting his crush to their dorm after their singing classes. It had been such a pleasant surprise to enter his dorm one day and find a beaming bunny look alike angel laughing loudly on his couch that, to thank Jungwoo, he had cooked him lunch for two months straight.
Doyoung being chosen as the ASI club’s target this semester had helped even more in the process of them becoming closer friends. Jaehyun had ended up finding out from Jungwoo that it had been him who had pushed for Doyoung to be chosen, but it had been Johnny, who knew just how enamored Jaehyun was with their Student Council President, who had convinced Ten and Yuta into accepting Jungwoo’s nomination of Doyoung to be their ‘chosen one’.
He was reluctant to admit it to his friends - he was sure they would tease him nonstop -, but the last two months had probably been the best of his life.
***
“Jae, over here!”
Looking toward the entrance of the library, Jaehyun grinned at the sight of Doyoung waving with one hand and struggling to carry six books with the other.
“Hey Doie, need some help with those books?”
“Oh yeah, thanks!”, giving the younger boy the books he was carrying, he rearranged his sweater that had ridden up a bit and took out his library id, “I had completely forgotten I had taken these much books and Taeyong reminded me to give them back now that midterms are over”
“Don’t remind me, midterms kicked my ass”
“I'm sure you did great, stop complaining you big baby”, jokingly glaring at him, Doyoung hurried to open the door of the library, “And if you did badly in any of your classes I can help you study. After all, I took all your classes last year”
“That would be great Doie, thanks”
After returning the books and thanking the librarian both boys left the library and started walking towards the café two blocks away before the older suddenly stopped walking.
“Oh, Jae, now that I think about it, there’s this great restaurant right next door to the karaoke I usually go to with Jungwoo, wanna go there instead of the café?”
“Is it the one with the jajangmyeon Jungwoo used to always bring back to our dorm last semester? Because that one was so good I cried once eating it”
Doyoung laughed loudly and slapped his arm lightly before replying, “Yeah, that’s the one”
“It’s settled then, we’re totally going to that place”
Even though Doyoung had accepted to be wooed by the ASI club, when he had met up with Johnny at the beginning of the semester, he had been notably straightforward explaining that he didn’t want nor expected them to continuously be with him. Johnny had snickered and told him that they hadn’t planned to do so, and, that their ‘advances’ were probably going to be limited to once or twice a week. He had been satisfied with that answer back then, but as the weeks had gone by he had been delightfully surprised to realize just how much fun he was having hanging out with all of them.
It was only logical then, he believed, that right now, as he walked alongside Jaehyun with their shoulders constantly touching and chuckling about a story the younger was telling him, that he felt just a tiny bit regretful of that conversation with Johnny. He wasn’t as self-deprecating as Taeyong liked to say he was, so he was confident that his friendship with Jaehyun - and Yuta, Ten and Johnny as well - wouldn’t end abruptly once the semester finished. Unfourtanely, the less assured part of himself was painfully aware that at some point in the upcoming months when the ASI club moved on to their next target, he would end up spending less and less time with Jaehyun. So, Doyoung was determined to make the most of their time together.
Entering the restaurant, Doyoung walked ahead of the younger boy.
“Doyoung hi! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around here”, saluted a tall young brunette boy smiling widely, “I missed you”
Cooing softly to the boy, Doyoung hurried to walk towards the brunette and hug him, “I’ve missed you too baby, but college has kept me busy enough”
Confused with what was happening in front of him and, if he was completely honest, bothered with Doyoung’s actions, Jaehyun cleared his throat before moving forward and smiling dubiously at the two boys, “Um, hi? I’m Jaehyun”
Still trapped between Doyoungs arms and directing his bashful eye-smile to Jaehyun, the brunette waved weakly, “Hi! I’m Doyoung’s little brother Jeno”
“Jeno, this is my friend I talked to you about, Jaehyun”, said Doyoung finally letting go of his brother and shily holding an embarrassed Jaehyun’s hands to pull him forward.
“Oh, so this is the famous Jaehyun, huh?”
“F-famous?”
“Yeah, Doyoung has been talking a lot about you lately, actually he-”, moving quickly, Doyoung covered Jeno’s mouth with one hand and flicked his forehead with the other.
“We’ll go to our table now Jeno, just show us the way and stop talking”
Smiling innocently Jeno led them to an empty table, took their orders, and upon seeing his brother pouting, hurried to leave their table.
“How come I didn’t know you had a younger brother?”
“Not many people do actually”
“But I’ve known you since high school and nobody ever said anything about it”, whined Jaehyun crossing his arms and glaring at Doyoung, “in fact, didn’t your parents divorced when you were a child?”
Before Doyoung could answer, Jeno appeared alongside another boy and placed their orders on the table. Having heard Jaehyun’s question, Jeno smiled innocently before rapidly saying, “Hyungs’ parents are divorced, but our mom adopted me when I was a child. Anyway, enjoy your food!”
“Yeah, what he said”, replied Doyoung before starting to eat
Dumfounded by the brothers’ indifference and casual attitude Jaehyun watched the older eat for a few minutes before snorting softly and start eating.
“Then, what else do I not know about you, Doie?”
Ah, Jung Jaehyun, thought Doyoung raising his eyebrow challenging, you’re in for a wild ride.
Two hours later, four dishes and two bottles of soju later, a hugely entertained Jeno waved goodbye to his brother and to who he hoped would soon be his brother-in-law, while both boys stumbled in the street laughing hysterically about some nonsense Jaehyun had said.
Entering the karaoke, both boys calmed down enough to ask for a room and for a bottle of soju to be delivered there.
“Quick, favorite Taylor Swift song?”
“Please! That’s a trick question! There are way too many goods songs to chose only one”
“That’s right, but, my sweet innocent Jae, you’re on my territory now, and here we love and appreciate the masterpiece that ‘Lover’ is”
“Well then, give it a go”
Giggling and jumping enthusiastically, Doyoung gripped the microphone tightly and took a big breath before the song started playing.
We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January
This is our place, we make the rules
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home
You're my, my, my, my lover
Doyoung had a quite unique voice. Its melodious and sweet tone had always reminded Jaehyun of the warmth that came with drinking hot chocolate on a rainy day and his mom’s hugs after he got hurt learning how to ride his brand new bike when he was a child.
We could let our friends crash in the living room
This is our place, we make the call
And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you
I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)
You're my, my, my, my lover
The way he sang reminded Jaehyun of love, the kind of love that made you lose your footing at random moments of the day when thinking about your lover, the one that made you want to drop to one knee prompted only by the smile of your lover, the kind of love that ate you from the inside until you couldn’t hold in anymore and it burst free, the kind that hurt so fucking much that you almost wished you never met them.
And yet...
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)
You're my, my, my, my
Oh, you're my, my, my, my
Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover
And yet the pain felt so good.
Jaehyun would take it all and more just to be able to feel even a little bit like this, like the world could end right at the moment and he would go smiling, feeling like the luckiest man in the world for being able to witness this side of Doyoung, a giddy and relaxed one.
Doyoung giggled and looked directly at the younger boy, “did you like it?”, blushing, he started tugging on his sweater anxiously and looked down at the floor still standing.
Jaehyun exhaled faintly before standing up, putting his hands on the older’s face and raising it so he could see his eyes, “I loved it, Doie. You sounded even better than Taylor Swift herself. I’m impressed, you’ve gotten so much better! Last semester’s singing classes really helped, didn’t they?”
Putting his hands above Jaehyun’s, Doyoung smiled fondly, “They did, but I think you’ve helped more”, taking their hands away from his face, the older boy intertwined their fingers before placing them above his heart, “Having the Jung Jaehyun compliment my singing is a huge confidence booster, you know? Would one hundred percent recommend it”
“Well, I hope you can return the favor then, because I, um, I kind of-mm I wanted to sing something too”, chuckled nervously Jaehyun before pulling a wide-eyed Doyoung towards the sofa.
Sitting next to each other and after pressing play on the song, Jaehyun once again held one of Doyoung’s hands and intertwined their fingers, and looked up into the older’s eyes before starting to sing.
Yeah, I don't know why you're
Messing around with all them other boys
Acting like you've got all
Of the time left in the world
I promise that if you were mine
I'd never let it go to waste, hm
I can tell that you've been hurt before
I know because so was I
I know you feel the energy
When you look in my eyes
Can you tell the way I feel?
I'm obviously yours to take
It had always been unavoidable.
Doyoung had always had a soft spot for his then-sophomore classmate who nervously tried talking to him years ago, and who now, a couple of years down the line, was right next to him looking at him with such devotion on his eyes that it physically hurt to even think of looking away from him.
I'm usually good at keeping my secrets
But it's so bad the way that I need it
If I gave you all my love would you keep it
Cause it's time that you know you know you know
That I can't stop thinkin bout you
I can't stop thinkin bout you
And I don't know what I'm gonna do
I can't stop thinkin bout you (You, you, you)
Perhaps it had taken him a little bit too long to be fully aware of what he was feeling. But now? Now that he could admit it to himself, he knew. He knew how even if it had taken years, it had been always unavoidable.
It had always been out of Doyoung’s control. It had always been meant to be. It had been a lengthy journey, but it was game over now. Because it had always been unavoidable.
Doyoung was in love with Jaehyun.
***
“And then he kissed you right?”, avoiding his friend’s gaze Doyoung continued eating his popcorn and sank his body into the couch, “And then you kissed, right Doie? For fuck’s sake, please tell me you did, he could not have been more clear about his feelings!”
With his mouth full and turning to look at Taeyong, Doyoung pouted, “You don’t know that! He could just be playing around so he can win me over for the club’s dare!”
“How can you be so smart and yet so fucking stupid at the same time? Seriously, how?”, with a complete poker face and squeezing his friend’s cheeks together the older stared at Doyung for a minute before speaking, “Are Johnny, Yuta, Ten, and Jungwoo even trying to win you over? Are they seriously trying?”
“Well, Johnny and Ten are obviously not trying because they like someone else already. Yes, of course, I know Johnny and you have something going on Tae, I’m not stupid.”
“That’s debatable but whatever you say I guess, but Ten? Who does he like?”
“I thought it was obvious, ha, he likes Kun, every time we hang out he asks me about him”
“Oh wow, yeah, that makes sense, why haven’t you told him anything?”
“Taeyong” exhaling exasperated Doyoung squinted his eyes at his older friend like he had grown two heads, “Kun knows already, he told us he had started going out with Ten like two weeks ago”
“I thought he meant going out as friends”
“Like a week ago we went to his apartment for breakfast and Ten was there on his kitchen wearing his clothes”
Blinking repeatedly and letting go of Doyoung’s cheeks, Taeyong frowned his lips before blushing, “oh my god, I totally caught them the other day after having sex in the art studio and didn’t even notice ew ew”
Laughing at his friend’s disgusted expression Doyoung started munching on his popcorn again, “Anyway, apart from those lovesick fools, Jungwoo has just been his normal self, but Yuta does seem to be trying”
“He is? How?”
“Well, he isn’t as bold as Jaehyun, but besides our friday’s marathons, we have started going out on mondays to this one cafe that it’s like thirty minutes from uni and has an anime theme! He’s been teaching me some Japanese, or well, flirting with me on Japanese and passing them as lessons”
“That’s not comparable to Jaehyun singing you a love song”
“Yuta sings along with me every love song under the sun featured on all the movies we watch”, smiling the younger boy stopped eating and eyed his friend fondly, “It’s all good, all joking outside, and though I know I gave you so much shit about it, I’m kind of thankful for Jungwoo and you for submitting me, it’s been really fun”
“Aw Doie”, tearing up and hugging him tightly, Taeyong started patting the other’s head, “I’m glad you’ve been having fun”
“Yeah, it’s been good to have other people to spend time with other than you and Kun’s annoying asses”
“Shut up brat, don’t ruin the moment”, smacking his arm before ending the hug, Taeyong rested his head on Doyoung’s shoulder, “I hope you’re aware that this means you’ll be seeing a lot more of the club from now on”
“I look forward to it, especially if it means annoying you and Kun every time Johnny and Ten are around and you both look like fools”
“Ah, just wait, Kim Doyoung, sooner than you expect you’ll get yourself a boyfriend and I will be the one teasing you”
Thinking about Jaehyun, his smile, and those disarming dimples that never failed to make his knees weak, Doyoung smiled, “We’ll see about that”.
***
Jaehyun was having a very bad day. He had woken up an hour late for his class, had forgotten he had to hand out an assignment, and had left the books he had to return to the library today in his room. The catalyst? He had stayed up all night waiting for Doyoung to text him back.
He didn’t get annoyed easily, but he had a nagging feeling Doyoung was avoiding him. Not only had he not gone to their cooking class on sunday, the last one of the semester may he add, but he wasn’t answering his texts about it. Needless to say, he was annoyed.
Opening the door to his apartment and seeing all four of his best friends on the couch, he had a feeling his day was about to go from horrible to terrible.
“What are you all doing here? Don’t you have things to study? Finals start in a week"
“Hi Jaehyun our lovely best friend, who is totally interrupting my winning speech”, said Yuta while flicking his hair out of his face and rising his glass of beer, “You look absolutely awful and like you’re in dire need of some beer, come drink with us!”
Frowning and dumping his things at the door, Jaehyun walked towards the couch and sat next to Johnny, “What have you won?”
“A date!”, replied Yuta standing up and jumping excited, “And, of course, the 60 dollars that come with it”
“What? Doyoung chose you ?”, what Jaehyun truly wanted to say was what about me, but he was in no mood to explain to his best friends that he still hadn’t told him he wasn’t part of the club.
“I can assure you, we were as surprised as you”, complained Ten, “why couldn’t you wait until the semester ended to tell him you weren’t part of the club?”
“Oh, Jaehyun still hasn’t told him anything, he’s a coward”, said Johnny from the other side of the room.
Three pairs of eyes turned to him and started laughing, “Oh Jaehyun”
“I’m leaving! I just want to sleep, not have you four dumbasses laughing at me for being in love!”
“We’re not laughing because of that, but because you’re a lovesick fool who can't talk to his crush and tell him he's not playing around!”
“Just shut up!”
Closing the door of his bedroom, Jaehyun threw himself on his bed before looking at his phone. No text from Doyoung.
The next day, while making himself some pancakes and drinking coffee, his phone ringed.
doie
Hi Jae
sorry for not answering
I’m already in finals mode and you know how it is
I didn’t go on sunday because I fell asleep :(
anyway, I probably won’t text you back for a few days
I’m still pretty busy, but see u soon!
“Busy he says”, grumbled Jaehyun under his breath while flipping his pancakes, “he doesn’t seem too busy to go on a date with Yuta”
Johnny walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee “are you still going on about that?”
“I don’t get it!”, shouted Jaehyun stabbing his pancakes with a fork, “why is he avoiding me and saying he’s busy but going on a date with Yuta?”
“It’s finals next week, I’m sure he’s busy studying, I don’t think he’s thinking about dates right now”
“Still”
“Stop acting like a baby and just say you’re mad he didn’t choose you ”
“I told you already, I wanted him to choose me and then act all confused and tell him I’m not part of the club! It’d have been really cute”, said Jaehyun pouting, “now I know for sure he doesn’t like me”
“No, you don’t”, huffing offended Jaehyun threw a piece of pancake to his friend sat at the other side of the table, “hey! stop that! I mean it, you’re just assuming he doesn’t like you”
“He didn’t choose me Johnny, isn’t that answer enough?”
Exasperated Johnny turned his phone on and scrolled till he found what he was looking for, “Here, you see this? It’s the club’s rules, it says that whoever wins the date gets the money, and it says that we should wait at least till the next semester to pursue the person we were ‘wooing’. We set the rule after the whole Junyae complaining about Jungwoo ‘cheating’ thing, remember?”
“Okay, and that matters because?”
“Doyoung knows about this rule, you idiot, we told him about it at the beginning of the semester. Don’t you think that maybe, since he still thinks you’re part of the club, he chose someone else so he can date you without any problems?”
“That’s just wishful thinking, he probably just likes Yuta and his cheesy japanese pick-up lines”
“Taeyong is right, you’re both so smart and yet so fucking dumb I seriously don’t get it”
“hey!”
“Just finish your pancakes Jae”
Unlike what Johnny, and apparently Taeyong too thought, Jaehyun has been aware of that rule for a while, and he too had wondered if that was perhaps why Doyoung hadn’t chosen him. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to feel sad about him choosing Yuta, especially because said boy had more than once joked about how pretty Doyoung was when he turned red after he complimented him in japanese.
In a worse mood than the one he had been in before, Jaehyun grunted before putting his books and laptop in his backpack and leaving to go to the library. Finals week was still going to happen even if Doyoung wasn’t going on a date with him so he may as well try to be useful and study.
***
Doyoung was ready to never open a book ever again by the time he got out of his last final exam. the week had been nothing but grueling, from the six exams he had to study for, to his duties as Student Council President.
Walking to his dorm and fantasizing about how good a full day of sleep sounded like, he didn’t notice a miserable looking Jaehyun walking in the opposite direction of him before they bumped into each other.
“What the hell? Look where you’re going assh- Doyoung?”
Doyoung grinned before observing the worrying image that Jaehyun presented, with his red eyes and the dark circles under his eyes, the younger boy looked like he hadn’t slept in days, “hi Jae”
“Umm hi, I’m sorry I didn’t see where I was going, I was um- I was distracted”, rubbing his eyes Jaehyun looked properly at the older boy, “how are your exams going?”
“I just finished the last one actually”, reaching his hands towards the other Doyoung was about to caress his shoulder when Jaehyun recoiled and stumbled slightly backward with flushed ears, “are you okay? You don’t look so good”
The younger boy smiled reluctantly before inhaling loudly as if to shake himself out of his exhausted state, “I’m fine, just tired, I have to get going to the library to return these books but I’ll see you later okay?”
“Sure, later”, replied softly Doyoung watching him start walking away before he suddenly stopped and turned around with a serious expression.
“Hey, Doyoung? In case I forget, good luck on your date with Yuta next week”
“My what?”, confused by the comment Doyoung watched Jaehyun leaving quickly, this time running, not hearing his reply and frustrated he simply decided to resume his walk towards his dorm.
What was that even about?
Opening his dorm’s door Doyoung walked into a surprising and very domestic sight of all his friends playing monopoly.
“Doie you’re back! How did your exam go?”, exclaimed a giddy Taeyong from his seat on Johnny’s lap while the latter hugged him.
“Better than expected but what are you guys doing here?”
“We decided to have a triple date, but we were too lazy to go out so we decided to just have some take out and play monopoly here”
“That sounds nice”, turning toward Johnny, Doyoung changed his expression to an angry one and hit his arm, “now, dumbass, what kind of best friend are you? why are you not making sure Jaehyun is taking care of himself properly? I just saw him and he looked ready to drop dead any minute”
“Not my problem, he’s just being his usual disastrous persona”
Hitting him again, Doyoung directed his annoyed expression towards Yuta, Jungwoo, and Ten instead, “That’s not an excuse! And you three? Aren’t you all supposed to be best friends? What kind of friend lets his friend be this careless with himself?”
“The kind of friends that are tired of his nonsense moping, the idiot is just being like this to avoid thinking about you choosing Yuta instead of him”, replied Jungwoo before eating some of the fried chicken they had ordered.
“Why would Doyoung choose Jaehyun? He’s not even part of the club”, asked a clueless Kun.
Five panicked faces turned to him and his boyfriend put his hand on his mouth to shush him rapidly.
“Jaehyun isn’t part of the ASI club?”, asked Doyoung confused, “then why was he hanging out with me so much?”
Sighing and looking at Doyoung as if he felt sorry for him, Ten replied, “Doyoung, please tell me you’re not as dumb as Taeyong is always saying you are. There’s no way you didn’t notice Jaehyun’s literal heart eyes every time you two hang out. That boy is whipped for you and he’s been trying to impress you all semester”
“Yeah, he’s not part of the club, it’s kind of sad to see actually”, added Yuta shrugging and dipping some fries on ketchup, “he’s been in love with y- Woo what the hell?!”.
This time it was Jungwoo who hurried to shut his boyfriend’s mouth, although less delicately than when Ten had done it. Nevertheless, Doyoung, like the smart person he pried himself on being, could figure out what the older was trying to say.
“Jaehyun is in love with me?”, asked baffled Doyoung, “why would he wish me luck on my supposed date with Yuta then?”
“Of course he’s in love with you, and wow he’s so stupid, why would he wish you luck on a date you’re not going to have?”, laughed Ten
“That’s what I am saying! How does he not know you two are dating?”, yelled perplexed Doyoung while pointing at Jungwoo and Yuta, “I mean, seriously? He’s your best friend!”
Jungwoo hummed and looked lost in thought for a moment before he smiled widely, “Now that I think about it he probably misunderstood us when we told him Yuta had a date and that you had chosen him”
“Oh yeah, and we haven’t seen him much lately because exams and all that so he hasn’t seen us be all couply and stuff”, added Yuta, still looking completely uninterested in the conversation.
“And mayhaps, I never corrected him when he mentioned it later because I was frustrated with how much of a whiny baby he was being about it?”, said Johnny with a high-pitched voice from behind Taeyong.
“Let me see if I’m understanding all of this”, groaned Doyoung annoyed while he massaged his forehead, “Jaehyun is in love with me, he wasn’t hanging out with me because of the club but because he wanted me to date him and he thinks I’m going on a date with Yuta?”
“Yep, pretty much”, answered Taeyong amused before Johnny whispered something in his ear, “Oh! And he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with you because you didn’t pick him!”
“I didn’t pick him because Yuta was trying to impress Jungwoo and show him what a good boyfriend he could be! Naturally, choosing him as the winner was proof enough of that”
“Wow, this is just a shitshow full of misunderstandings”, snickered Kun, “Taeyong and Johnny are right, you’re both so dumb when it comes to love”
“I have to go see him, can any of you text him and ask him if he’s at his dorm? I want to go knock some sense into his gorgeous head”
“Ew, please refrain from talking like that about my best friend in front of me ever again”, complained Ten sticking his tongue and pretending to vomit, “but, yeah, I just texted him, he just got home and it’s ready to sleep till next year so if I were you I would hurry”
“Great! I’m going then, enjoy your triple date!”
“Ah, young love, it’s so endearing”
“Jungwoo, you’re younger than both of them”
“Still!”
***
Jaehyun was exhausted. He was glad the semester had ended because that meant no more constitutional law for the foreseeable future, but he was going to miss spending so much time with Doyoung. Their sunday’s cooking classes and their cafe dates after them were the one thing that got him through the week. Now, he had nothing but an empty apartment to look forward to next semester.
In a way, he was thankful for the short time they had spent together, even if it was thanks to his friends’ stupid club. And even if it meant that Yuta had ended up scoring a real date with Doyoung.
Scratch that, he wasn't thankful for that. He had tried so hard to impress Doyoung, with his cooking, his singing, his grades, and his chivalrous, just to lose to Yuta’s awful pick-up lines and questionable movie taste? He was livid.
The rapid knocking coming from the front door brought him out of his thoughts, and, standing up from his bed he lamented his luck.
Irritated, he whined, “Johnny did you forget your keys again?”
But upon opening the door, he found someone he didn’t really want to see, “Doyoung? what are you doing here?”
The older just stood there smiling widely and breathing heavily, “Jaehyun”, he said before looking closely at the younger standing in front of him just in his grey joggers and an oversized blue hoodie, “Jaehyun, you’re so dumb”
“What? What does that even-”, the younger couldn’t finish speaking when he suddenly found himself being kissed by Doyoung.
Standing frozen and confused for a moment, it took almost a full minute and for the other boy to giggle into the kiss before he could react and, encircling his arms around the older’s waist, he kissed him back enthusiastically.
After four years of pining, Jung Jaehyun was finally kissing the love of his life.
Separating to breathe for a moment, Doyoung stayed close to Jaehyun and hugged his neck before pecking him on the lips repeatedly.
“You’re so dumb Jae”, laughed almost hysterically Doyoung, “How could you think I would choose to go on a date with Yuta when you were right in front of me the whole time?”
Puzzled and embracing the older tightly Jaehyun spoke softly, afraid to break the bubble they seemed to be in it, “then why did you choose him?”
“I was just trying to help him win over Jungwoo”
“Oh”, Doyoung smiled more and kissed him again seeing his adorable perplexed expression, “I guess that makes sense”
“And, why didn’t you tell me you weren’t part of the ASI club? that you were serious about dating me?”
The younger whined embarrassed, “you know about that? who told you?”
“Your friends, obviously, they told me everything”
“Everything? So you know I’ve been in love with you since my junior year in high school?”
Blushing, a wide-eyed Doyoung directed an even bigger smile towards the younger, “Yeah, they didn’t tell me that”, kissing him and closing the door, he laid against it and smirked, “But junior year huh? It’s that why you always looked ready to combust whenever I looked at you?”
Turning into a deep shade of crimson, Jaehyun covered his face embarrassed, “yeah, 17-year old me didn’t know how to act around his cool senior who sang like an angel”, glancing enamored at Doyoung he continued, “actually, 20-year-old Jaehyun still doesn’t know how to act around his beautiful and seemingly unattainable older friend, which is why I ended up using the whole ASI club thing as an excuse to hang out with you”
“Well, it was stupid, I’ve always had a thing for you Jae, you seem to be the only one who never noticed”
“I’ve noticed now and I’m happy enough with everything that led us here, even us being oblivious idiots for the whole semester”
“Me too, I don’t care how we got here, what matters now is that we are here, in front of each other, together”
Trapping Doyoung against the door Jaehyun kissed him before laughing quietly, “I love you Kim Doyoung, so much that sometimes it even hurts to think about you, it hurts to breathe whenever I’m around you and you look at me with those beautiful black eyes. So, please spare me from any more pining and accept to be my boyfriend?”
Smiling, Doyoung rested his forehead against Jaehyun’s and once again pecked his lips before answering, “I love you Jung Jaehyun, of course, I’ll be your boyfriend”.
Both boys giggled excited, and with their eyes shining brightly stood there looking at each other for what felt like forever.
The love they felt towards each other was a simple one. It felt like coming back home. A home you didn’t know you had, but that the moment you found it, you felt warmer and as if the hole in your heart you never noticed was there finally was filled.
It was perfect.