Chapter Text
The Safe Zone still felt weird, still kept everyone on edge, but there was a peace tonight that Beth hadn’t felt in ages. And finally everyone was beginning to relax.
Well almost everyone.
Beth found herself watching Daryl pace. He reminded her of a tiger pacing back and forth behind the bars at a zoo. She felt bad for him; he was trying so hard to be what he thought everyone needed him to be. Tried so hard to relax and let this place be home. But she could see how tense he was. How nervous.
And she knew it’d never feel right to him. Knew it’d never be home like the cover of the trees were.
Rick sat beside her, watching her, watching her eyes move with Daryl’s steps.
“So, you and Daryl huh?” He said quietly with a small smile on his lips.
She turned to him and grinned.
“Yeah. Me and Daryl.” She whispered with reverence. Rick saw the light in her eyes flash a little brighter. He chuckled softly.
“He’s a good man.” He added.
“He is.” She nodded, and something, a brief look of sadness maybe, touched her eyes.
She turned hoping Rick wouldn’t see it.
“Something wrong?” His voice was so quiet she stained to hear him. And she felt something pulling in her chest, something needing to crawl out. She tried to push it away again.
“Not wrong, necessarily. Just thinkin’.” She shrugged, hoping he’d let it be, knowing he wouldn’t.
“Daryl’ll be good to you. Probably just needs time to come around. This place has him on edge. That what you’re worried about?” He said casually.
“No. I know he will,” She trailed off, wondering if she should just say what was going on in her head.
“Just remembering stuff. From before,” She added and turned to look Rick in the eyes again.
She grabbed Ricks hand without even really meaning to. She threaded her fingers between his and held them tight.
He cocked his eyebrow in confusion, but didn’t let go.
“Thought things would be different. How we all ended up.” She looked at their hands, hoping he’d understand.
He did.
They sat in silence for a long moment, eyes locked on one another before she spoke again.
“Did you think about me while I was gone?” She whispered.
Rick nodded and was ready to speak, but she started to ramble.
“I thought of two people. Two. I should feel like shit for it. But I knew Maggie was okay. I knew it, deep in my heart. She didn’t need my prayers. She had Glenn. She’s tough as nails. She was okay. Ya know?” She took a deep breath, letting a gentle laugh escape.
She turned to watch Daryl again, “Daryl was on my mind twenty four seven.” She sighed, a small smile playing at her lips, remembering the weeks they’d spent together. “Telling me I was strong enough. Reminding me what I needed to do. He taught me a lot…” She turned her eyes back to Rick’s, squeezed his finger a little tighter, “But then, when there were a few quiet moments, it was you…”
Her eyes held his, radiating all the things she just couldn’t say.
“I told myself it was because of Judith, that I just missed her. That I missed you like I missed everyone else. But…” She shook her head, not letting the rest of the words come out. She chewed on her bottom lip, guilt written clearly on her face, and tears filling her eyes.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” He rumbled and ran his thumb over her knuckles.
“I think I love him.” She said suddenly, her voice a little louder. Her eyes had found Daryl’s. He had stopped pacing and was smiling at her, chewing on his thumb nervously.
“I think it’s a mutual feeling Beth.” Rick whispered and squeezed her hand before he pulled free.
“I wanted to love you.” She turned her body completely towards him. “I think I do, actually.” She laughed softly and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't say that...”
“Nothin’ to be sorry about,” He stood to leave, leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Feel the same.” He whispered against her skin and walked to where Judith was sleeping.
Beth’s heart hurt. Loving two men during the end of the world wasn’t something she’d ever expected to happen.