Chapter Text
The first day Max realised her parents were not coming back, was the day she tried to call her Mom about back to school shopping and the number for the resort Susan had given her only returned an engaged signal.
The moment the idea was solidified in her mind was when she found the letter tucked neatly under her Mother’s pillow.
Three pages long and full of avoidance, passing the blame, and tiny increments of ‘sorry’.
Abandonment was not a word thrown around often, but this was the situation for the two siblings who suddenly felt a million times smaller in that big beach house in California.
It was almost frightening how quickly Billy flew into damage control mode, he was on the phone all afternoon calling relatives, anybody that they knew who would take them in, anybody who could possibly help with continuing to pay the mortgage on the house.
By the end of the day, Billy was strung out, legs over the couch with a Pabst in his hand. “Max. Pack your shit.”
“Where are we going?” She asks, climbing onto the couch.
He sighs deeply, puts his beer on the floor and reaches for the notepad on the coffee table. “Hawkins Indiana.”
Indiana? That was on the other side of the states. “Who do we know in Indiana?” Max questions, wrapping her arms around her body.
He sits up and adjusts himself, taking a mouthful of his beer. “Aunt Gladys. She’s my Dad’s sister.” He chuckles slightly. “To say she was surprised he up and left us behind is an understatement. She said if we can make it from A to B without getting ourselves killed, she’ll take us in.”
“What about school?” Max watches her brother stand up and stretch.
“My Dad turned out to be a giant piece of shit stuck in an office job, but his sister ended up Principal at the middle school. Good old Gladys is going to sort it out.” He tells her to pack her stuff while he would go out and find a way to get enough money to fund their trip across the beautiful US of A.
She waited on the couch for a while, staring at the switched off television, and silently cried.
How could somebody leave their child behind?
*****
They stare at the money pooled on the kitchen counter. Billy’s way to get funds for their trip was simple, sell everything that wasn’t bottled to the ground.
A large portion of this included their parents prized possessions that they probably assumed would be left behind if they ever attempted to come back to the house.
Max had never seen so much money before in her life, and was slightly surprised by how her brother had managed to get so much money in under three days.
He had given her the job of packing their things and he would do the nitty gritty side of everything, making sure the Camaro was well serviced and would be capable of making the thirty-three hour trip. The kids had both agreed, that by moving to Hawkins’ they would leave their entire life in California behind, that included getting rid of everything that wasn’t important or that didn’t hold some form of sentimental value.
Max was left with a small brief case of her things, and Billy had one single photograph. A picture of his Mom.
They managed to fit all of their clothes into the boot of the Camaro and threw two pillows and a blanket into the back seat incase they couldn’t find a motel during their travels.
After Billy bought all of their bare necessities and a new tool kit, there was just over $15,000 left over.
“I didn’t realise everything in here was worth that much.” Max admits.
“Yeah, well.” Billy starts to grab the money and puts it all into a tin with a lock on the front. “I guess Susan and Neil had nice shit.” He grabs the tin and stares down at his sister, “Didn’t leave anything behind”
She shakes her head and he moves past her. “Say goodbye to California, shit bird.”
They both climb into the Camaro and Billy starts the car up and lights a cigarette. “How long till school starts?”
“Three weeks.” She answers. “We want to leave a week before so we can both enrol.”
He nods, blowing smoke out the window. “Its a day and a half to get to Indiana, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go on a holiday Max. If we’re trekking across this great country, let's make the fucking best of it.” And with that, he peels out of the driveway and towards the highway leading out of California.
*****
They hit Las Vegas first, and Max was blown away by the bright lights, they hit a lot of traffic on the way through so the normal four hours turned into five and a half and Billy was getting agitated by all of the shit drivers on the road, flipping the bird more often than not. Every so often, she drifted in and out of sleep.
Billy pulls into a motel, he had to admit he made the wrong decision by leaving in mid afternoon instead of early morning but it didn’t matter, because they weren’t on a time limit. The motel flashes a bright sign that reads STARDUST.
Max watches the lights as they pull into the parking lot, and she follows Billy inside the reception area watching as the Vacancy sign swings by the door.
“Can I get a room for the night, please.” Billy flashes a pearly smile at the middle aged woman behind the desk.
“Sure thing, sweet pea’.” She looks around Billy and takes Max in who tries to smile at her.
“One bed?”
“Two.”
“I need your ID, suga’.” She bats her eyes at the Hargrove teen who hands it over in a flash.
After writing a few things in a book, and tapping something into her computer, she leans across the desk and plucks a key from the holder and hands it to Billy.
“Room 34 is available. It has two bedrooms. Check out is 10am.”
Billy takes the key and drops it into Max’s hand. “Thanks-” He catches her name tag, “Darla. Have a good night.”
“Welcome to Stardust, sweetheart.”
The room was nice, Max had only ever stayed in a hotel room once, and it was during their trip to the Grand Canyon. She wondered how many rooms she would be staying in as they crept slowly across the country to Indiana.
She drops her knapsack by her bed and Billy walks into the second room and she can hear the bed springs creak as he flops down onto the bed.
It was so strange being in this motel room with Billy, without their parents and she wondered if they missed her as much as she missed them.
Surely there was something wrong with missing the people who had left you behind, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop feeling a longing for her Mom.
“Do you want to shower first, or can I?”
“You can.” She whispers.
He ducks into the bathroom and locks the door, Billy spent forever in the bathroom which would normally infuriate Max, but right now it was a silent blessing because she could go out and get some air.
She sits patently and doesn’t move until the shower water begins to run before she walks slowly into Billy’s room and grabs his packet of Lucky Strikes, and leaves the motel room.
She walks across the carpark and stands under the motel sign and lights herself a cigarette. She didn’t smoke often, when she did, it was never around her parents. That didn’t matter much anymore though.
She watches the road as all of the cars hurtle past her on their own little trips.
She had never been to Vegas before, but she knew it was the “city of sin” as Neil had so fondly described it. Billy had visited it once, a few months ago, but she doesn’t know if he actually did anything while he was here.
She drops the cigarette in the dirt and crushes it under her shoe before heading back into the room, the shower is still running, so Max returns Billy’s cigarettes and falls back onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. It was so strange to her that her entire life could be turned completely upside down in a matter of days.
Her older brother exits the bathroom, a towel around his waist and nods his head slightly telling Max to climb into the shower and clean herself up. She pulls all of her weight off of the bed and slumps into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
*****
He could hear her crying, he doesn’t think she was even trying to be quiet about it either. Billy had been left behind before, so he knew what it felt like to be forgotten, but he also knew that Max had never felt like that before. Worse thing to happen in her life was her parents divorce, but it was so long ago she probably doesn’t even remember it.
He’s got the sheet pulled up and around his legs, arm behind his head as he watches the small ceiling fan spin in slow circles, creaking every time it makes a full trip.
Max climbs out of her bed and shuffles over to Billy’s room, the small glow from the light by the front door illuminates his sister.
She’s resting her head against his door frame, holding a pillow close to her chest as she cries. Billy never really saw her cry.
No matter how mean he was to her, she always took it, never shed a tear. She really must be hurting.
It was a silent agreement, Billy lifts the duvet on his bed and Max moved across the small landing and climbed in to the bed with him.
He wrapped one arm under her to pull her close to him for a hug, his other hand running his fingers through her hair; trying his best to calm her down.
“We don’t need them Max, we don’t need them. Fuck them. We have each other.” He says.
She cries with him for a few hours, occasionally stopping to ask the simplest yet complex of all questions “Why?”
Billy couldn’t possibly have an answer for her, no real way to explain the situation. He just comforted her the best he could.
She fell asleep sometime around one a.m. and Billy woke her just before check out, scrambling back into the Camaro and not speaking about the previous nights events.
As they drove through Las Vegas with the early morning light on their heels, Max looks at a map. “So, where are we going?” She questions.
“Why are you asking me, shit bird? You figure it out.” He takes his sun glasses out of the glove compartment and slips them on. “I drive, you do the rest. Ain’t that what girls are for?” He asks.
Max scoffs and shakes her head, “that isn’t how it works, Billy.” She grabs her knapsack and reaches into the left side pocket, pulling out a permanent marker. She studies the map and pushes herself back against the passenger seat.
She thinks about all of the places she never got to visit as a child, or the places Susan promised to take her, and the ones she wished she could go to with her Dad.
She begins to slowly draw out their travel on the road map, and marks the pit stops with big X’s.
The first stop on the map was something she knew Billy would like, Hoover Dam. He would never openly admit it, but Billy was a bit of a nerd for the Hoover Dam, mainly because of the urban legend that people were actually buried inside, ones who died during construction, Max knew it would at least cheer him up a bit. They would then do an entire 180 and travel down through to Hollywood for the Sunset Strip and the Walk of Fame.
She keeps mapping out their schedule for the next few weeks and pays now mind as Billy pulls into the carpark of a Best Buy. She keeps mapping everything out and after a short while, Billy returns with a bag, before she can question it, he throws it into her lap.
She opens it and inside is a polaroid camera. “What?” There are over 50 film boxes in the bag as well.
“A road trip has to be memorable, Max.” He says, turning the engine on and asking about the first stop. He used every muscle in his body to not smile when she informed him they would be going to the Hoover Dam. He drove with the cacophony of his cassette tapes, and Max’s navigation.
Despite their parents leaving them behind, and the both of them having to completely uproot their lives, this was the happiest Billy had been in a very very long time.
****
They had given up on seperate rooms four days into their trip. There was no point in paying extra for a room that came with a seperate section or two beds when they both just shared the one anyway.
It didn’t matter if she went to sleep first, or if she had the privilege of her very own room, at some point during the night, Max would find her way into Billy’s bed to sleep beside her brother.
She never mentioned it in the morning and he never asked, they just quickly fell into a rhythm that worked for the both of them.
They didn’t realise it at first, but it became a cathartic experience. Max soon stopped crying of a night and Billy actually managed to sleep for the first time in years.
This new found routine was almost effortless when a week passed. They had begun to spend more and more time in the Camaro, to save time and make sure they could check out on time, Max would climb into the backseat and get changed out of her pyjamas and into her clothes and would often sleep there during the night, Billy would only ever stop into a motel if he physically couldn’t keep his eyes open.
With Max in charge of the map, Billy would only ever stop to get them something to eat, or to call his Aunty to keep her updated on their travels, but he ended up passing that chore onto her. He hated the way their Aunt tended to talk utter nonsense and always want to waffle on about shit that didn’t matter.
They pull into the Rosebud motel in Loveland, Colorado. Max wanted to visit because she thought the town name was interesting, but that’s all it was. A name. She was slightly disappointed, but didn’t vocalise it because there was no point in complaining about a town they would leave in the early hours of the following morning.
Max makes quick work by using the shower to clean herself up, and pulls on her pyjamas. In truth, she had borrowed them from Billy, because her warmer ones were at the very back of the Camaro’s trunk and Billy had already told her there was no fucking way he would pull out all of her shit because she can’t pack properly.
Billy was siting on one of the kitchen chairs, sipping whiskey, his eyes watching Max closely as she keeps pulling up the pyjama bottoms, they don’t fit too well, even if she had adjusted the draw string as tight as it would possibly go.
“Max.” He says, she turns to look at him. “Come drink with me.” She pads across the room and slips into one of the seats across from her brother, he pushes the whiskey bottle over to her and she grabs it in her small hand.
“Are you being serious?” She asks, looking from the brown liquid to her brother.
“Yes.”
The glass touches her lips and the liquid burns like fire on the way down, she coughs and hands the bottle back to Billy who chuckles. “Don’t worry, it gets easier.” He turns the volume dial on the small radio and music erupts into the small room. “Everything gets easier after the first burn.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about the whiskey now, but she pretended he was.
They pass the bottle between one another and share the occasional cigarette, everything felt so adult to Max, so mature. Billy tells her vulgar jokes and she tells him about the time she went away to camp and played truth or dare.
Billy explains to her what life was like when it was just Neil and him. Max tells him about all the times her Dad took her fishing.
The song on the radio changes and Max feels warm.
She recognised the instrumental from the last Christmas she spent with her Dad. The smooth voice of Otis Redding encompasses the siblings and Max wants to dance.
Billy stays seated and watched the way her hips sway to the music, so lost in the waves of the whiskey he had shared with her that she can’t focus on anything but the beat.
Her fiery hair fell in tendrils to her taught ass, she looked as though she belonged in one of those paintings she loved so much.
These Arms of Mine slip out through the speakers of the radio.
These arms of mine, they are burning. Burning from wanting you.
Billy stands up and walks over to join Max in the middle of the room; she sways softly to the music and watches him.
He places a hand on her waist and matches her rhythm, dancing slowly with her.
Turning her around and pulling her against him, she’s far too sleepy to stop where this is going.
He grinds into her, a hard task given she’s smaller than him.
Come on, come on baby. Just be my little woman. Just be my lover.
Billy slides his hand up Max’s stomach, under her pyjama top. She’s warm and he knows it’s because of the alcohol; she’s getting dizzy but moves to the beat, her body taking her out to sea.
He’s taken the lead and moves her towards the bed, she flops down and stares up at Billy. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s breathing heavy.
She can’t say anything, maybe she’s had too much to drink, feels sick. She thinks she might throw up but Billy doesn’t stop.
He tugs on the draw string, slowly undoing the knot of the PJ bottoms. Max breath hitches and she tries to tell him to stop, but he doesn’t.
“Don’t.”
He keeps going. Perhaps he doesn’t hear her. “Billy.” She tries. “Don’t.”
“It’s just you and me, Max. We’re all we have left.”
The whole world continues to spin and Max feels like she’s spinning with it. Billy pulls her bottoms off by the hem of the ankles.
Her soft eyes bore into him, maybe he was right.
Billy and Max were all they had left.
Is this what people do when they have nobody else?
Nothing made send to her, everything was fuzzy. The hands Billy ran down her body sent shivers up her spine.
“Don’t stress Max, I’ll make everything stop hurting.”
Max closes her eyes, leaves her hands by her side and stops breathing.
*****
She never mentions it, but Billy could tell she was hurting.
He pulls into a pharmacy and gets her a bottle of painkillers and a chocolate milk. She drinks it slowly and watches the scenery as they left Loveland.
Max doesn’t think she would ever come back to this place, not even if she were older. Not even if it would save her life.
Their next stop would be a small place outside of Colorado, apparently Billy had a friend there. They stop at a gas station so he can fuel up and grab cigarettes, Max needs to use the restroom.
Her stomach flips when she sees the blood in her underwear, she doesn’t cry though. She’s never been like that.
She felt a lot different but she knows it was because of the alcohol, she splashes cold water on her face and leaves the bathroom.
Billy is at the counter buying cigarettes and Max is putting coins into the telephone, dialling her aunts number.
“Max!” Gladys was always so chipper whenever she called. “How was Loveland?”
“Not as loving as I originally thought. We stayed in a motel called Rosebud. Very Citizen Kane.” Max mumbles into the receiver.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad, sweetheart.”
“It’s just you and me Max, we’re all we have left.”
She shakes the memory and looks out the gas station window, Billy is leaning against the Camaro, fucking around with the Polaroid he had bought her.
“We’re gonna be in Hawkins by the end of this week, Billy is sick of driving.” Max says. “We’ll see you sooner than expected.”
“That’s good to hear sweet girl! I have everything set up for you and Billy to start school when the summer ends.”
“Yeah.” It’s a statement rather than an answer.
There’s a silence that no amount of talking could fill.
“Has my Mom called?”
“No sweetie.”
She puts the receiver on the hook without even saying goodbye.
Billy is pointing the viewfinder at her and snaps a photo while she walks over to the car. The picture rolls out of the tray and he takes it, shaking it in the Summer air.
“How’s Gladys?” He asks, looking at the picture.
“She has everything ready for us, we can start school when the Summer is over.
“Hold the applause.” His sarcasm wasn’t lost on her. She takes notice of the way he pushes the Polaroid into his back Jean pocket. “Let’s ride, shit bird.”
She clambers into the car, and they say goodbye to Loveland and the stained bedsheets of the Rosebud motel where Max lost the last pieces of herself.