Chapter Text
"Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a sawn dive off the roof of the building" Bakugou said looking down on Midoriya. "Yeah, you'd be doing us all a favor" chimed in one of his asshole friends. Midoriya could only look pleadingly at Bakugou as the other held his hero notebook. The larger male smirked down at the greenette, then an explosion happened and the crisped book was tosed carelessly out the window. Midoriya said nothing as he tried to hold back his tears, shaking from the words and actions of his childhood 'friend'.
Bakugou and his crew left the shaking boy behind laughing as they walked out of the room. As soon as they were out of sight Izuku burst into tears. Little did they know he had been stuggling with life, with graduation coming up and no quirk to get him into UA. As well as all the bullying he received at school. "Maybe I should do as he says..." Izuku quitely said to himself. He slowly regathered his things and walked to the pond his notebook had landed in. Seeing the fish nibbling at it he considered just leaving it there. 'They seem to be enjoying it the most out of everyone' he thought to himself. Despite that he couldn't bring himself to see his dreams turn into fish food and slowly pulled it out of the water with a sigh.
Izuku started the walk to his house, he took a different rought then usual, figuring the long walk would help him sort out his thoughts. He passed by a beach on his way, it was covered with trash for miles, 'this seems like a place I'd belong' he thought as he walked past a cliff that over saw where the water met, what he assumed was, the shore. He walked the rest of his trip mindlessly letting his feet just take him back to his residence.
"Hi honey, welcome home!" Inko said with a smile as Izuku entered the small apartement. "I'm back" he gave as a reply with a weak smile that he hoped fooled his mother like always. He then continued onto his room, frowning at the All Might name plate that hung on his door before entering and shutting the door behind him. Izuku set the now dry notebook on the desk and unpacked his bag, seeing the high school aplication slip with only UA writen at the top and began to quitely cry again. Bakugou's words rang in his ears. 'I should do as he says, I'm useless, I have no quick, I can't get into UA without one much less become a hero' Izuku thought to himself. Suddenly the image of the cliff he passed was in his mind. "My minds made up, I'm gonna do it" he said to himself not loud enough for his mom to hear as she cooked dinner.
Without a second thought he grabbed the now crispy 13th volume of his hero notebooks and left his room. "Mom I'm gonna go out for a walk before dinner!" He called out while slipping his shoes on. "Don't be too long, dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes" she called back. He couldn't answer as he went out the door. He was a terrible lier and knew he wouldn't be back in time for tonight's dinner, or any dinners after.
After about 15 minutes of walking, with the book clutched in his hand, he finally saw the cliff and sped up his pace at feeling a rush of joy for the first time in a while. He got to the top, looked out and decided to sit down, placing his book full of heros and lost dreams beside him and just soaked it in. The sun was setting, the waves were crashing against the shore, rocks and trash, the wind was blowing in the most peaceful manner. Izuku closed his eyes and felt the sea breeze on his face while his messy green locks blew in the wind. He was going to be free, he'd have no more worries, no one could ever look down on him again, nothing mattered but the scene infront of him. He sighed standing up then took one last big breath and jumped, leaving the forgotten hero book and dream behind where he sat moments before.
Some bystanders saw what happened and gasped calling 9-1-1 and going to the edge to see if he was still alive by some miracle. When they got to the edge they saw nothing. The police later concluded he had landed on a rock in the water and been washed away quickly. After the scene and been properly investigated they made a news statement saying a local green haired boy had been seen jumping from a cliff and all that was left was a notebook about heros. They asked if anyone had information on who it could be to please come forward. Inko, who was worried when her baby didn't come back for dinner, had been watching the news and burst into tears when she saw the statement. When she could finally hold herself together she went down to the police station to confirm. One look at the notebook and she knew, she started crying all over again. Inko ended up being questioned and said he seems a little down but had no clue he was thinking of killing himself. She got to take the book home, as it had already been cataloged and processed. The police also notified the school to save Inko from the pain of having to tell them herself.
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The next day at class Bakugou showed up ready to give Midoriya what for but the freckled boy was nowhere to be found. 'Maybe he's sick' Bakugou thought to himself. As everyone took their seats and the bell rang the teacher went to the front of the class with a somber expression. "Class I have some news concerning Midoriya." Bakugou's ears pricked at the name. 'What about him? Why does she look so sad? Is this about why he isn't here?' Questions raced though his mind. His thoughts were quickly cut off when the teacher spoke again. "Last night Midoriya was confirmed dead by the police." the teach spoke trying her best to keep a calm voice. "WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN DEKU'S DEAD" Bakugou shouted slamming his hands on the desk and standing up. "Bakugou please calm down, we have a counselor here if any of you need to talk" she gestured to the man entering the room as he gave a small wave to the class. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT A DAMN COUNSELOR TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN DEKU IS DEAD!" Bakugou continued to yell. "I can't give you any details but there is an option to write condollence letters to the family if you so choose." the teacher spoke again. "FUCK THIS" Bakugou snapped as he slammed his chair back into the desk behind him and ran out of the room.
He didn't stop running till he go to the Midoriya's apartment and banged on the door. Inko not expecting anyone was startled out of her tears over her lost son. "Who is it?" She called. Bakugou could hear the tears in her voice. 'So it's true?' "It's Bakugou Katsuki Ms.Midoriya" he answered. After a few quite moments she opened the door to him, her eyes red and puffy. "Is it true?" was all he could say. "Yes" Inko quitely responded. Bakugou then choked out a "how?" "He jumped off a cliff last evening." she said with tears rolling down her cheeks before she began to sob again.
"He jumped" Bakugou echoed. 'this is all my fault, I never thought he'd actully do it!' Bakugou began crying, from sadness, guilt or loss he wasn't sure, maybe from it all. "I'm so sorry!" he cried out. All Inko could do was look at him, why was he saying it like he had something to do with it? "This is all my fault, I was so mean to him!" he sobbed "I said he should jump and maybe he'd be born with quirk in the next life" he choked with tears streaming down. "You told him to! It's your fault he's gone!?" Inko cried out. "I'm so sor-" Bakugou was cut off with the door slammed in his face. He stood there for a few second while he let it all sink in. As he did so Inko when back to her sons room, sat on his bed and just cried.
Bakugou's walk home was a quiet one full of self hatered. On his way through an uncrowded street he was grabbed. He felt like he was drowning, people slowly gathered around him but no one helped him. He tried to explode what ever it was off himself but nothing worked. "A feisty one, I like that" the villian sneered. Even the hero's gathered around were doing nothing! 'This isn't how a hero acts!' He yelled in his head. "Have no fear for I am here!" Came a call and then he could breath again. All Might, All Might had just saved him. "Thanks" was all Bakugou could mutter out.
He wanted to yell at the other 'heros' for doing nothing but didn't have it in him. "My boy, that was very brave! Fighting back even as you were being attacked. And what a powerful quirk! Have you concidered applying to UA?" All Might boomed. "I have, but I don't deserve to be a hero." Bakugou responded. "I'm sure that's not true young man, why do you belive such nonsence, everyone one deserves a chance!" Bakugou's heart squeased at the words, he never gave Deku a chance. "Cause my childhood friend died" 'and I caused him to' Bakugou responded but couldn't voice the second half to his hero. "Then just be a hero for the both of you my boy!" All Might said with his signature smile. Bakugou's eyes widened as he looked up at the tall hero. 'Become a hero for Deku too? Can I be that selfish and live his dream for him when I'm the reason he died?' He thought. "Best get this criminal off to jail, be safe on your way home my boy!" And with that All Might was off to help the police.
The police had taken Bakugou's number incase they had more questions, but it was a very open and shut case so it was unlikely they would need him again. When he made it home his mom hugged him in a death grip. "I was so worried, are you ok? I heard about Izuku too" she said. 'Too? What was he some after thought now?' He thought as he brushed his mom off muttering an "I'm fine" and went to his room where he let it all out. The loss of Izuku, the guilt, the fear from being captured, though he'd never admit he was scared, but mostly the loss of the person he cared about but was too up his own ass about being better to show how he really felt. He knew Izuku, Izuku was always there, talking about heros and trailing behind him. He was weak easy to pick on, to show his dominace with and he thought he knew him well enough he would never actully jump. Katsuki ended up crying himself into a restless sleep.
"Kacchan are you ok?" Little Izuku was there holding his had out to Katsuki's past self. It was like he was watching it from afar. He could see himself snap at Izuku, thinking he was looking down on him at the time but seeing it from a new perspective, and with grief goggles which meant Izuku could do no wrong, he just saw a little boy reaching out for his friend when noone else did.
Bakugou continued to have other dreams of when he got everything about Izuku wrong. He saw his face, his sweet sweet face, with freckles he'd never be able to count again, as he turned that award winning smile to him. Then his dream turned dark, he saw a bloody, bruised, broken and soaked to the core with sea water Izuku. He smiled at Bakugou as blood ran from a head wound. "Kacchan" he spoke. "Kacchan why did you do this to me? This is all your fault."
Bakugou started awake in a cold sweat. He clutched his chest and gasped for air. "Deku" he wispered to himself. He knew he wouldn't sleep again that night, luckily it was only 2 hours before he had to get up for school. So he sat there for 2 hours, reliving the memory of Deku and the nightmare he'd just had. He played the dream over and over in his head feeling like he deserved the pain it brought.
When it was finally time to get ready he just went though the motions and left without breakfast. Once at school he had noticeable bags under his eyes and only wanted to get though the day. His 'friends' came over and started talking to him. "Aren't you happy?" One of them said "why?" Was all he angrily growled back. "Cause that loser is finally gone" they laughed. Bakugou snapped "DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT YOU DAMN EXTRAS!" he roawed.
"Damn man calm down, I though you hated him so it'd be good he went and killed himself, always talking about being a hero when he didn't even have a quirk." The guy shrugged as he said that last part like it was an everyday thing. "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!" Bakugou yelled and stormed off. "He would have been a great hero" he mumbled to himself as he went to the roof to be alone. 'Maybe I will do what All Might said and become a hero for us both.' He thought looking at the sky. 'Not that I deserve to take his place.'
(Back when Midoriya jumped)
Falling. I'm falling. Izuku shut his eyes and just felt it, felt gravity, felt the wind but what he didn't feel was the rocks below. "Oof" he landed on something soft, reopening his eyes and seeing a bar with two men. One covered in hands and the other covered in mist. "Who are you?" Izuku voiced the first thought that came to mind. "I'm Shigaraki and this is Kurogiri" the man covered in hands gestered to each of them in time with his raspy voice. "We're the league of villains." he continued. "Why didn't you let me die!?" Izuku cut him off remembering where we was before the roughly lit bar. "Didn't anyone teach you it's rude to interup people!" the man with hands said. "We've had our eyes on you for awhile and think you'd work great here." "But I don't even have a quirk." Izuku said starting to cry again. "And we can fix that" the mist man said while cleaning a glass. Izuku's eyes shot to the man, then back to the other in the room as he began to speak again. "But first you have to prove yourself. We know you wanted to be a hero so we can't just give you one. But we can give you a place to belong. We also know how everyone looked down on you so we'd like you to join us, where you'd be an equal."
Izuku looked hesadently at the man. The former him would have screamed 'NO!' But the broken him, no, the new him is tempted. "What if I say yes?" He questioned. "Just like that?" Shigaraki laughed. Kurogiri inturupted his laughing fit, "Then you'd belong with us, you'd always have a place to go and real comrads" Shigaraki quited his laughing and said "I didn't think it'd be so easy" "you don't know me" Izuku shot back. And just like that an alliance was formed.