Archive of Our Own

Perhaps, Vanya should have expected something strange to happen from the first time she woke up. It was in those few moments that she was awake and staring at her ceiling in the early morning like that she recalled the events of her dream from that night.

She dreamed of her long-lost brother Five.

It wasn't the first time, she dreamed of him of course. Her brother ran away seventeen years ago during a very infamous lunch and even before that event he was a frequent guest in Vanya's dreams.

They used to be close. It was strange. But from all the people in the house, Five seemed to like her the most. He often invited her into his room when he was working or when he wasn't but wanted to share his thoughts with her. He thought she was smarter than the others and far less self-absorbed which made it so much more fun and easier to talk to. His words, not hers. He often said things like that, and the simple fact that he cared enough to include her made him become her best friend and sole confidant in the house. He was the only person she used to feel good with, and who made her life easier and far less lonely…before he was gone at least.

The dream itself wasn't anything special, but it had been a while since she even thought about where could Five be and what could he be doing right now if he was okay and if he ever wanted to come back home although she didn't think it was likely. Why would he be gone so long and still want to return? He could be anywhere with a life of his own. She hoped that was the case at least, and not that he was forever gone, the way Ben was.

In the dream, Five and she were on his bed with their backs pressed together talking like old times, but it took her a while to realize it was Five and not a stranger for some reason. When he took her hand, he asked her if she believed him, but since she couldn't hear him properly, she didn't know what was she supposed to believe. Dream Five seemed to get upset with that and left her alone no matter how loudly she tried to call for him to come back.

'Five, come back, please, Five!'

Vanya quickly got out of her bed as she recalled those exact words and went to her bathroom where she set her pill bottle for the night.

She took one and swallowed it dry the sensation not even doing anything for her over the years.

Afterward, she decided to get dressed, drink some coffee, and go to work. Sometimes, she wanted to buy herself some breakfast, but she was holding onto her last five dollars and hated the idea of having to go to her ATM on the other side of the street near the store that owned a rather strange looking man who often watched her for some reason.

Since she didn't find anything too appealing in the menu of the cheap cafeteria near her workplace, she skipped lunch as well trying to push herself with the promise of takeout later.

Her practice in work wasn't the best, and she pushed her head down as she passed the director of the Icarus. Luckily, he didn't seem all that interested in talking to her anyway. Everything felt shitty, and yet painfully familiar as days like this happened often and in Vanya's mind, they often blended causing her not to be able to remember which day it was or what happened.

For some reason, she thought of her dream on her way down the street, when she stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing the news on one of the passing TV's, her stomach instantly shutting up about wanting any food.

'Dad.'

Coming into the house brought a lot of unwanted memories. Memories she couldn't help but wished to tug away into a box and burry into the backyard never to have to see again. Not all were bad of course. Vanya didn't think people had only bad memories, but most of them…most of them weren't good. And those that were just got suppressed by all the bad ones, the pain, the guilt, the regret. It was hard to come home, and be inside the house she left behind almost twelve years ago.

She felt all of the memories and insecurities she carried around with herself all through her adulthood come rushing toward her mind and heart as she stepped through the door, met up with her estranged siblings, looked at Five's portrait, and saw her book untouched in dad's library.

Vanya doubted anything good could come from this house anymore. Maybe she shouldn't have come here even if it was her dad's funeral. Maybe, she should have forgotten about her past. It would have been better for everyone that way. It didn't feel right to be there. It didn't feel good to be there. And Vanya had enough sorrow and bad feeling for a lifetime so why add more?

Just as she decided to take her violin case and actually leave before they would start the flash of a blue light strike like a lightning into her life. And here she was thinking the news about dad would be the most surprising one of the day.

It was fitting that Number Five decided to out-stage him though. She had distant memories of him never really enjoying if she paid too much attention to anyone but him now that she thought about him so much. She recalled a lot of things about their childhood. Things she rather pushed away in hopes of keeping her sanity and sadness over his absence in check. No point in dwelling on things, she couldn't change.

It started when they were kids really. She didn't know why, but Five decided that she was the only person worthy of his time and attention which meant she couldn't be too preoccupied with anyone else. She often rolled her eyes at his behavior but somewhere deep down she was also intrigued and glad someone included her so much and wanted to be near her. It felt nice to have someone want to be around you and listen to you even more so if it was a genius prodigy like Five who she always secretly suspected dad liked the most.

Either way, she should have guessed if today was supposed to be all about dad that Five would decide to finally stop by after seventeen years of absence.

Yet, when the man who fallen out of the sky or the somewhat portal dusted his clothes looked up at her and the others, she had no idea who he was.

But just then her stomach and body decided to rebel against her decision to skip food and carry on with her poor lifestyle.

Before she hit the ground invisible to the rest of her siblings as always, the man appeared in a blink in front of her causing her mouth open in a gap.

'Five?'

She caught his eyes for a second before she felt her whole body go on a roller-coaster losing every single molecule in the process only to be restored right by the end the worse feeling of nausea, Vanya ever felt in her entire life. However, for that one second, before she was blinked away, she saw the light green almost icy eyes of the man and recognized them instantly as she once with blushing cheeks used to think they were the nicest pair eyes on the planet. How ridiculous was she back then?

Older or not, the man was her long-lost brother and best friend, Five.

Once her feet hit the ground again, she blindly reached out for the man-Five's arm to steady herself and not collapse to her knees her fainting pushed away due to the adrenaline from the jump through the fabric of space.

It took her a couple of breaths, and Five gently pushing her into a bed, to realize that they had gone from the backyard to Five's old room. It felt like ages since she last stepped foot inside before dad had it looked. Now only mom probably opened it every time she needed to get rid of the dust. How many hours did she spend here with Five listening to his theories and ideas like a good friend and faithful sister? How many hours did she spend here while sobbing against his pillow wishing he came back to her?

'Breath with your mouth,' said Five disturbing her silent counting and brushed some of her hair away from her forehead with his nicely cold fingers, 'Deep and long breath, Vanya.'

She immediately followed his order as he reached for her legs and bend her knees before pushing them up on the bed, 'This will help with the blood flow. You're really pale, dear.'

It had been so long since she heard him say her name, and it sounded the same. It still carried a fondness, she at times felt like he had reserved just for her and no one else. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen and nausea. It was a strange day. She didn't eat at all. Five was back. She felt like she was dreaming or falling, yes, she was falling down a rabbit hole, she wasn't sure she could or wanted to get out of.

'Oh,' she let out only to earn a scold, 'What did I just say about breathing?'

Vanya nodded a bit and carried on trying to get more air into her lungs while watching the man in front of her, Five, her brother, her Five.

His eyes stayed on her looking at her with a look she couldn't decode, but as long as he was here and okay, she figured it would be alright.

She felt a bit better now that she was laying on the bed and just the fact that Five was here was distracting her from everything even nausea.

She had so many questions. She had so many things she wanted to tell him. She had spent nights and days, and week, and months and years gathering things she would tell the boy if he ever made his way back home to her, but now that he was here, she couldn't find the words. So in the end all she did was carry on with her breathing and trying not to pinch herself to prove it wasn't a dream.

But it wasn't. At least, she hoped it wasn't. He was here, and he was an adult, and his eyes were the same green shade they used to be, but with the addition of iciness, she didn't recognize. Perhaps from experiences, he gathered throughout the years? Perhaps from hidden traumas, she wished he would be spared of once he ran away from the house of horror that they used to call home?

'If your head is spinning put one foot on the floor,' Five told her again, and Vanya only then started to realize how different he sounded now. All adult and grown-up. There was always a certain maturity to Five. Even if he was still a kid like the rest of them, he could be very serious and above certain games and jokes at times. She wondered if that was why he liked her so much. He was a bit of an outsider as well from the rest. Just like her and yet not at all. He made a choice to be different, not to fit with the rest, she was forced it the moment she was adopted by dad powerless, useless, and completely ordinary.

Sighing, Vanya closed her eyes and took in a deep breath momentarily allowing herself to lose sight of him, 'W-where were you? Five, where were you?'

His name still felt natural coming out of her lips even if had been over a decade since she said it out loud. Did it sound natural for him to hear it? Was the pause before he spoke really there or did her tired and overwhelmed mind just imagined it?

'In the future,' spoke his new voice, and she opened her eyes to look at him again. He was still there. It wasn't a dream. She would gladly continue to fall down that hole.

Thank God.

She allowed herself to smile although with her current state it must have turned out to be a grimace, 'So you proved dad wrong? I would have loved to see that I told you so.'

The corner of his lips twitched, but he didn't grand her a smirk nor a smile instead turning his look into a more serious one, 'How do you feel? Tell me.'

If this was his worried look, it threw Vanya off, but then again, she hadn't seen him in seventeen years so what did she know? It seemed upset. Five was always worried about her, but usually, he expressed it with concern, not anger even if it was anger born out of being worried about her.

It felt like forever, but she finally found enough strength and balance to sit up.

He tried to stop her by putting his hand against her shoulder, but she shook her head some of her hair loosely falling over her face in the process. She needed to work on it in front of a mirror later. She just realized how poorly she was dressed and looked. Didn't she come to her dad's funeral? Sure, she didn't even think about making a better impression, but now she couldn't help but feel that she should have.

'Better, just a bit hungry,' Vanya confessed and felt blood returning to her cheeks as she admitted she didn't eat properly today.

Five's frown spoke volumes of his disapproval of her choice to skip lunch, and she could only imagine what he would think about her skipping breakfast as well. She remembered that even growing up it was an issue with him. He always wanted her to eat more pushing doughnuts in Griddy's into her accusing her of not eating properly. She always tried to act annoyed when he talked about it, but somewhere deep down she was glad he did because it should he watched her and cared enough to want to meddle into her life and make her stay healthy. It made her feel like old times. It helped to further underline the fact that he really was here.

Five came back.

After she felt confident enough to sit up and walk, Vanya wouldn't let him leave her in his room, and stubbornly followed him downstairs to the kitchen when he started to make two peanut butter sandwiches with marshmallows.

The fact that he was making them warmed her heart, and if she wasn't feeling so light-headed from almost collapsing and then the wild ride to Five's bedroom, she would have made them for him herself. She made him one almost every night those few years that he was gone, and even now sometimes when she felt especially down, she made one for herself eating it with its overly sweet taste that mocked her loneliness and loss of Five.

Even the one who cared for you the most left you.

Either way, it would have been a fitting welcome home gift for her most favorite person in the whole wide world as she used to call him in her mind when she was a little girl. He deserved it, and she wanted to make him one, maybe later when she was feeling better.

While his hands worked over the food, the others tried to interrogate him about where he was and what happened while Vanya mostly focused on his fingers. They were rather long and skilled as they moved over the snack.

She was probably still a bit thrown off by the hunger. She wondered if she could get away with preparing something herself although she couldn't imagine doing that when everyone was present. She was always picky when it came to eating with too many people who she didn't know. She didn't know if she was shy or simply worried they would be staring, but she rather waited until she was home in the comfort of her walls with no cold disapproving parental eyes or cameras to record her every move to eat properly often going a half-day without any food at all.

When Five was done, he carried on with their questions dodging most of them or talking in his typical Fivemanner that didn't leave them any smarter than when they asked. Once he decided he had enough he grabbed one sandwich into his hand while carried the other one on the plate before setting it in front of her.

His face was a perfect mask, not revealing a single thing while his gaze spoke a different almost tender story before he said, 'I suppose it's fitting I make one for you since you made me so many before.'

She didn't dare to look at any of the others to see what they thought about the exchange hoping they also couldn't hear the rapid beating of her heart.

How did he know about the sandwiches? Did he come back when they were all asleep? But they were never eaten, left untouched on the places she left them unless Pogo fell a victim to them and stepped on them, or Klaus took them as a midnight snack when he got his post-weed cravings.

Five nodded at her one last time before he walked out of the room somewhere to the other corners of the massive mansion, they were inside in. She never wanted more to become invisible than at that moment to avoid the looks her siblings might shoot her way. She didn't know what to tell them or how to explain the exchange, and she didn't even want to until she knew how to deal with it.

Boosted by the sugar, Vanya decided to sneak out to look for Five. It wasn't too hard since the others seemed to be once again dealing with their own problems rather than paying attention to her. They didn't even seem all that interested in Five's return once he somewhat survived the obligatory questions and answers with very little answered questions of course. At least not to the same extent, as she was. She was glad she wasn't being too obvious upon seeing Five in their eyes. For once their ignorance was a blessing to her and her sudden rush of feelings and emotions about her favorite person's return. It was very surreal still, but the more she thought about it, and the more her body processed the food and sugar she just ate the more real it felt, and Vanya could honestly admit to herself.

Five came back.

She found him in his room looking at his reflection in the small mirror touching his jaw as if he had never seen himself before with a careful and judgmental look.

'Something's wrong?' she asked not sure how to start after so many years apart. She could only hope they would be able to find their way back to each other mentally just as they could physically.

'I lost a few years,' he not sounding too alarmed by it before he chuckled to himself, 'Good thing, it wasn't forty-five years.'

She blinked recalling what he said in the kitchen about being an old man in a younger body and realizing if he meant it, it was very strange. She could see the first grey hair on his head, but he didn't look more than his early thirties. He looked very handsome, her heart whispered with every beat as she watched his face. It caused her to feel warm inside and filled with guilt and need to look away asking herself just what did she think she was doing ogling him like this?

Vanya stepped closer pushing the door a bit, but not closing it completely feeling that if she did close it the atmosphere around them and the situation would change to one she wasn't entirely sure, she could deal with at that moment on top of everything, 'So you would look thirteen? I wouldn't mind. It would be nice to see your chubby cheeks.'

Five rolled his eyes but smirked at the thought, and she couldn't help but smile even if just a tiny bit knowing she earned something like that from him. He didn't seem like himself if he wasn't carrying his typical cocky smirk around knowing he was better than anyone or being sarcastic with a person.

'Like the old man would allow us to fat it out,' he said and brushed his hair a bit probably looking at the few grey hairs as well. They suited him. His whole look suited him. Vanya wondered if it would be too strange if she opened the window or the top bottom of her shirt as the warmth was getting to her. Probably, yes.

He then seemed to remember something and looked at her with that serious face again whatever amusement and fun he allowed himself to feel gone again, 'I need to ask you a favor.'

She blinked and said without hesitation, 'Of course, what do you need?' Was it too eager? It sounded too eager. She hoped he wouldn't notice how red her cheeks were now no doubt by his presence and intense gaze. What was her problem? She hadn't seen him for almost seventeen years and the first time he shows up, she was acting like this? She needed to get a grip.

Five watched her face for a moment looking almost surprised that's she agreed so quickly before he took her arms firmly and looked into her eyes as if he wanted to hypnotize her by them. If that was the case, he was doing a very good job in it as Vanya felt almost compelled to do anything he could possibly want from her at that moment, 'Don't leave this house for a couple of days.'

She blinked the odd request confusing her, 'Uh, why?'

Indeed, why? She hadn't lived here for years, more than a decade. What purpose would it have to stay here now and for a complete of days, no less?

Five shook his head his face revealing too much at once, his internal struggle so painfully obvious Vanya felt stunned he could hide it so well all this time, 'Something very bad is going to happen, and I need you to be safe. I want you close so that I can protect you…You're vulnerable.'

You're ordinary.

Her traitorous mind whispered mockingly, and she frowned upon hearing that. Of course, she was the weakest of them all, without training, without powers. If Five got into some trouble and there would be a danger, he would want someone like her to stay as far away from it.

'I want you safe,' his eyes, however, didn't seem to speak of her lack of powers or strength instead of looking pleading and almost scared for some reason.

'Do you understand?' he asked sounding almost desperate for her to understand.

He wanted her safe. He was worried about her. She forced that to be the main reason for his request instead of her weak self-loathing thoughts that always seemed to want to hurt her the way years inside the house with her siblings and dad did

Vanya blinked at him thinking Five's reason explained very little even if it made her feel a bit better and nodded, 'I understand.'

Five moved his hand to the side of her neck and carefully touched it pressing his cold palm again fist against her bare skin not seemingly carrying if it was appropriate or not. It caused a spark to run over her like lightening turning lights on in every room inside her body as if to wake it up for a new much brighter and warmer day.

Vanya couldn't hold back the gasp both out of surprise and the feeling Five caused inside her with his simple skin again skin touch. It had been a very long time since someone touched her so gently and more than that, it never felt as intense as it did now. Did she and Five ever touch before? Of course, those sweet moments of first careful touches when they were both too inexperienced and shy, but wanted, needed, craved love and human contact their dad was incapable of giving to them.

When his hand moved away and return to her arm, she felt great disappointment wishing he would have left his palm against her skin a bit longer the rooms inside her lightened up now but instantly cooling down without his touch, 'Promise me, you will stay here.'

She swallowed almost saying she promised before she closed her eyes a bit to clear her mind and think, 'What about you?'

Five took in a deep breath his eyes' softness reducing a bit in favor of a more heated emotions anger or something else altogether?

'I have some things that I need to deal with, but I promise to be here every night with you,' he spoke squeezing her arm even firmer as if the implication alone wasn't enough to cause another rush of heat to run over her body despite knowing all too well it wasn't what he meant.

'Now, promise me,' he said again still looking at her making her head spin again but in a much nicer way, 'you will stay here. I will bring you whatever you want from your apartment, but you cannot leave the house. I will explain everything once it's all over, but you have to do this for me. It's important to me. It's…it's important for the future of the world. You're important, Vanya.'

'What-'

'Vanya!' he snapped at her a bit startling her given all he had said and how firmly he was holding her. It made her see him in a new light wondering if he didn't perhaps change too much, 'O-okay. I will-I will stay here.'

His green eyes were probably trying to melt her with the heated look as they seemed to be focused only on her brown ones as if they wanted to look inside maybe even behind them into her mind to know for sure if she was telling the truth or not, 'I promise I won't leave the house until you tell me to.'

It was as if his eyes could rumor her without the rumor to say those words if only to watch the heat turn again into the softness she was familiar with growing up and that reminded her that even if he changed he was still her Five.

He loosened his hold on her arms but didn't put his hands away yet looking pleased with her words and even offering her a small smile, she hadn't seen in almost two decades. She almost forgot how much she missed it.

Given the strange situation that happened just now, she found herself almost reaching out before she reminded herself it would be incredibly inappropriate to do so. They already seemed to touch each other more than they should. They already seemed to cross or push at least some lines.

'I noticed Klaus decided to take over your room,' he said sounding displeased with the idea and let go of her completely almost leaving her to fall to her knees if she didn't catch herself in time, 'I want you to know that you can stay in mine if you would like. It might be better than an unfamiliar guess room.'

Vanya's head was spinning from his scent and all which had happened. Why did he have to smell so damn good? She wasn't sure what exactly it all meant, but if Five really needed her to stay put, she found herself actually convinced to do so.

'Right, thank you,' she mumbled not sure what else to say all together but clearly it was enough for her long-lost brother, who wolfishly smirked at her causing her knees to go weak all over again, 'Anything for you, my dearest Vanya. Besides it's practically already yours.'

Vanya blinked not sure what he meant did he mean by that.

'I will be back soon enough,' he said and tossed her a wink before he disappeared the way he always did, leaving her alone in his now her temporary room.

Vanya most stuck to Five's room, not sure what to really do in the house. It took him a few hours before he came to her with a bleeding wrist that she instantly started to tend to as if they didn't have mom and a whole infirmary just a few hallways and down the stairs away. It got her to do something and calmed her nerves about the strangeness of the whole situation.

She couldn't stop stealing glances at him though. He grew so much. He was an adult. He was different, yet the same in a way.

The way Five was looking at her was a bit unnerving since he seemed so focused on her. She forgot how addictive and haunting his gaze could be when she had his undivided attention. Not many if anyone ever looked at her like that. She felt like she needed to lose her shirt all together with how hot the gaze made her feel. It almost seemed too much at times. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did she have to feel this bizarre way? This wasn't right, was it?

'I would never hurt you,' Five said suddenly causing her to stop her work and look at him properly.

She blinked looking at him curiously. Whatever thoughts his face was hiding was a mystery to her. That wasn't new. Even when they were kids, closer than most, and able to read each other like favorite books, Five could still manage to hide himself from her in certain ways. Sometimes he would just look at her, or to the distance, and Vanya knew she would never be able to catch up with to wherever or whenever he went inside his mind. And then he was gone, and she couldn't catch up to him at all.

But now he was back.

She allowed her thumb to gently stroke the unharmed skin near the wound as reassurance that whatever he was going through he had her, and she knew him, and if he needed anything from her, she would gladly give it to him. Just like always, 'I know that.'

'Would you ever hurt me?' he asked something in his eyes so incredibly weak, she wanted to pull him into her embrace and protect him more than anything she ever wanted before even if she knew she couldn't. How would that look like? What would the others think? What would they think now that she was a guest in his room for the next couple of days and nights? They were close, and as kids, no one dared to tease them about it, but now the fear of having to face Five's wrath or dad finding out was gone, and Vanya wasn't sure she could handle a talk from her more or less dysfunctional siblings.

She chuckled nervously and waved her hand as if dismissing the silly idea all together rather than to act on her urge to hold him close, 'As if I could.'

'But if you could. If you had pow- if you had the power to hurt me,' Five said each word with a pause as if he wanted her to feel the weight of them in the air, in the sound and really think about them, 'would you?'

She wanted to joke that it would be anti-productive if she hurt him after she just spent the time to fix his wound. That would smooth her nerves and perhaps change whatever the mood he was in tonight or maybe it was his permanent one? How could she so easily pretend she knew him after being apart from him for so long? Didn't she change as well? She knew she did, but when he showed up, when she got to talk to him alone, it felt like she didn't. It felt like she was still thirteen and that the world was hopeful with so many possibilities.

Once she saw how serious the look on his face was once again, Vanyadared herself to reach out and press her free palm against his cheek,

'No,' her answer was simple and her voice firm as she knew it was the truth, maybe the only thing she could believe after today, 'even if I had all the power in the world, I could never hurt you.'

Even if you would hurt me first. Even if you already hurt me by leaving me here alone.

Her eyes were looking straight into his, and she couldn't help but feel as if he was searching for something within hers, something within her soul or essence, something she wasn't sure he would be able to find or not or what he would do if he did.

'You know that,' she said and allowed her thumb to carefully caress his cheekbone and the slight unshaved skin under close to his lips.

'Don't you know me?' she added for good measures feeling a tremble run through his body for a moment.

It was a bit scary how intensely he was looking at her before he grabbed her wrist into a firm hold, as tight as when he asked her to stay and pulled it away a bit. She assumed he wanted her to stop touching him for one dreadful moment before she watched him turn to the side and press his lips chastely against her palm. It could have been a thank you for taking care of his wound, but Vanya felt something far darker and heaver inside appear and grow upon such display of gratitude.

After she was done with his injury, she settled the first aid kit on his old desk. If he was planning to continue to deal with whatever he was dealing with, he might need it some more.

The thought caused her to frown, 'Are you in danger too?'

He was looking at the sky with his telescope at the moment, 'Everyone is in danger, Vanya. But I'm not everyone, I know how to take care of myself. I know how to survive.'

For a second his hand reached into something inside his pants pocket, and she thought she heard a piece of paper, 'I know how to save everyone now.'

Her fingers tapped the front of the first aid kit, 'If you're so amazing, why did you get hurt?'

She expected him to throw a frown her eyes or ask her to take it coming up with an excuse. The last thing she expected was the lazy catlike smirk that crawled over his face as he glanced her, 'I wanted to place doctor and patient with you, of course.'

Vanya might as well have burned to hell and back with how hot she felt all over upon hearing him say that her cheeks bright red no doubt and her voice a shaky mess as she excused herself to go to the bathroom. She swore she heard his dark chuckle haunting her all the way to the room where she tried to calm herself down with cold water.

When she came back, Five had prepared for her one of his old Pjs seemingly delighted that they still fit her looking at her like she was the most adorable thing, the way he sometimes did whenever she tried to come up with a normal theory or idea to further expand his brilliant one.

'You haven't grown a bit,' he chuckled with more affection she had seen anyone give her in years while she laid down on his bed. She wanted to offer him that they could share but felt too embarrassed just thinking about it.

'Shut up,' she rolled her eyes still finding it surreal he was there or that he wanted her to sleep in his bed.

'Never,' he said simply while taking hold of her hand, her so small in his large one, as he sat down on a chair next to her finally looking completely like the Five she knew with his face calm and his eyes free of the pain, guilt, and trauma that was keeping him a prisoner in his own body.

'I'm glad you're back,' she said not ready to close her eyes just yet even if she was incredibly tired.

She felt his hand squeeze hers lightly before he said, 'I'm glad to be back too.'

'I missed you,' she said trying to keep the conversation in the dark in the middle of the night longer.

His chuckle was so light it warmed her chest in the most caring way, 'I missed you more.'

She giggled a bit, 'You always need to be better, don't you?'

'I am better,' he said with the confidence and cocky charm, she recognized all too well as his signature trait.

In the dark of the room, she could see his smirk fell a bit, but he continued to hold her hand, 'Good night, Vanya.'

'Good night, Five,' she whispered back, and knowing he was here, for now, she finally allowed the sleep to take her away.

When Vanya woke up in the morning, she spent her day mostly around Luther and Allison in awkward and not so awkward conversations and some strange family bonding seasons. They weren't all bad. They definitely went better than with Diego. Five was gone all day, and according to Luther, he left late at night after he got her to rest. Strange.

The house was still terrible. She felt like she was constantly followed by dad's portraits and unwanted memories came running back to her. Usually, those involving Ben and his passing or how useless always were to the house.

Five was gone almost all day missing out on Luther's family meeting about mom and Klaus's return to the house and their-well his room.

'You have to admit as a growing boy I needed more space,' he told her in passing as she made the mistake of glancing at the spot where her doors used to be.

'Sure,' she said awkwardly not really meaning it, but she doubted he cared, 'Besides, I think it worked out rather nicely given your new locations,' his teasing voice carried a cheetah smirk, she refused to look at as she rushed to Five and hers shared room ignoring whatever her scandalous brother with no filter wanted to say next.

As she was brushing her teeth later that day deciding to go to bed, Vanya half expected Five not to show up at all convincing herself he was fine, just needed to more to work on whatever he was working, saving the world, and protecting her.

However, then she heard the familiar sound and noticed movement knowing right away he jumped. For a moment, she wanted to ask him if he was high on something with the way he was jumping from one place to another all over the bathroom, hallway, and their room mumbling to himself like a madman. It wasn't uncommon for him. Vanya experienced this a lot with him growing up as he could easily get lost in his mind palace when he was deep in the equation tornado.

What he did next, however, was a shock even for her as he snatched the toothbrush Allison bought her earlier tossed it into the sink, and pressed her against the wall close to the tub. For a moment, she expected him to punch her or perhaps blink them away again when instead his lips found their way demandingly against hers while his hands kept her face in place.

He didn't seem to care about the toothpaste in her mouth either deepening the kiss before she could even think about stopping him too occupied by the fact that he was kissing her in the first place. Even more by doing so like there was supposed to be an end of the world tomorrow.

Her knees were weak to the point of collapsing, and Vanya had to grab a hold of him to stay up while experiencing the most heated and charged kiss of her entire life which should have made her sad knowing she needed thirty years to get a kiss like this if it wasn't for the fact that she received a kiss like this and found herself completely confused whole by it.

It wasn't elegant like they showed in the movies not that Vanya ever got a kiss like that. But this one was as far from it as possible. It was urgent and almost sloppy, and Vanya never really experienced anyone's desire for her to be this known, almost touchable in the air around them only adding to the whole thing being perfect.

Her body sang coming alive the way it did yesterday only now with even more nervous energy, she didn't know she possessed trying to pull Five somehow closer and get more from him with her greedy fingers.

When he broke the kiss, she gasped started by how breathless she was completely tuning out the critical need for air in favor of a few extra moments with his lips against her moving so deliciously.

Her eyes opened, but Five chose that moment to hid his face against the side of her neck as his lips started to add to the sensation they spark with the kiss on the lips by painfully slow open-mouthed and wet kisses against her skin there.

'Five,' she moaned too loudly, but with how good it felt, she was too damn gone to care if any of the others heard them.

She felt his lips from a smirk against her skin, they tried to mark as theirs, 'Tell me, dear Vanya.'

Did her name always sound so good coming from his sinister lips?

'Did you like him because he looked like me?' he asked, but she didn't understand the question too lost in the sensation and forcing her hands to move to his back and the back of his neck to pull him even closer to her enjoying the feeling of being caged between his body and the wall. It was strangely liberating.

He kissed her again, 'I can't even picture you with someone like him.'

Another kiss just at the right place a bit higher closer to the back of her ear causing another moan to erupt from her, 'Someone so boring. Gosh, Vanya, someone so dull, and stupid.'

When his tongue licked the outer part of her ear her knees broke, and the only reason she wasn't flat on the ground was that he was keeping her in place with his hands at her waists now, 'Someone who wouldn't even realize what an amazing thing you are. The best thing in the world. My Vanya. My amazing and extraordinary, Vanya.'

She didn't know if he was mocking her or cared when she felt him bit her ear gently forcing her own fingers into his hair and tugging at it a bit.

He chuckled at that. 'There, you see? You want someone raw and exciting. Someone who can touch your dark places,' his fingers stroke her side creating four fire lines that spread everywhere, 'and like them,' another kiss to the back of her neck, 'Someone like me,' she moaned into his hear pulling at his hair a bit rougher, 'Yes, dear Vanya. Someone like me.'

He moved his head and brushed his nose against the side of her neck, 'Not all good or decent, but not completely bad…well maybe seventy percent bad,' he said kissing her behind the ear making her dig her nails into his back while trying to push herself against the wall feeling her whole body burning for more. More touches, more kisses, more fire.

'Do you like all your partners to look like me?' his lips moved lower back to the side of her neck, 'So when you close your eyes in the dark, you can pretend they're me?' he asked, and without giving her time to even think about what could she possibly say to that he marked her skin with a bit causing her to let out a startled half-cry half-moan as his teeth dig into her flesh like a creature of the night would.

'You want me, Vanya?' he asked, and she nodded feeling him lick the spot he just a bit, 'Tell me, you want me, dear.'

She opened her lips to speak or moan again when they heard a strangled noise, 'S-shit!'

Her eyes flew open meeting Luther's for a second before he turned to the side reaching his hand to the level of his eyes, 'Jesus, this is the common bathroom. Could you-could you not? I haven't had dinner yet. Shit.'

Vanya's mood and heat dropped to zero as she felt all sorts of stages of embarrassment and humiliation hit her while Five kept holding her, his face still close to her neck where he let out a loud annoyed groan, 'I liked you better in 1963.'

In the next moment, she was once again blinked into Five's room completely falling into his chest where he caught her and set her down on the bed brushing her back as nausea from the first time return in full power if not more since she had eaten not so long ago.

Five's started to rub circle into her back which helped a bit as he spoke, 'So much for that.'

The nausea definitely erased all the desire from a few moments ago, but despite it, all Vanya felt some warmth upon seeing how gentle Five was with her now taking care of her.

Once she felt confident enough to speak without throwing up she asked, 'Wh-what?'

'What?' he asked with a smirk making fun of her no doubt.

Jackass.

'What did it all mean?' she asked because honestly what in the hell did all of that mean? And why would he ask her those things? What was going on?

She watched his eyes reveal some of the vulnerability from before, and she half expected him to tell her, but instead, he leaned closer and granted her a soft kiss on the cheek nothing like the heated kisses he gave her a few moments ago, 'Remember what I said? I will explain everything once it's all over. I just-I just got carried a bit tonight.'

'I didn't mind,' she said before she could stop herself ready to fall to the bottom of the earth all over again from acting so stupidly.

Five, however, didn't seem to mind her behavior as he gave her his first real smile since he came back, 'Good. I plan a lot more where that came from but a bit later, I need to finish this. Do you trust me?'

She just let him almost screw her in the bathroom with the door open for everyone in the house to see, 'Of course I trust you.'

'Good,' he said and kissed her nose for good measures, 'Because I really would hate myself if you didn't.'

His words spoke so honestly, it filled Vanya's heart even more than his lips did moments ago.

The sickness in her stomach was still present, so instead of another kiss, she settled for placing her hands over his face and looking deeply into his eyes, 'Don't ever hate yourself, please.'

He sighed again in resignation over something that was on his mind and grabbed the back of her neck to pull her closer to give her the most tender kiss on the forehead she could imagine, 'You're too damn good for this world, Vanya.'

He tugged her to bed again this time crawling in behind her still in his suit refusing to strip claiming he wouldn't be able to control himself if there was even less fabric between them.

'Maybe I don't want you to control yourself,' she dared to say in the dark hiding her embracement over such words. She was terrible with dirty talk.

Five placed another kiss to the side of her temple and told her to hush with a husky voice. She took small pride it in before she dozed off telling herself, he promised he would finish what he needed to do far more things than today. She felt better than she had in years.

On the third night, all hell broke loose with assassins with giant masks bursting in almost killing or hurting. During her life, the Academy was attacked three times. This was the third and only time someone made it all the way in.

Between keeping her safe and trying to get them, they managed to escape leaving Vanya with a small gash on the forehead.

'She shouldn't be here. It's her own damn fault she got in the way. She doesn't belong here,' started Diego while Allison cleaned up the wound.

'Shut up,' said Five with ice-cold anger looking at Diego both of them mean clearly ready to fight it out.

She turned them a bit out and looked at Allison who tried a more gentle approach even if the message was the same, 'Maybe it would be better if you didn't stay in the house. You can't protect yourself, and it's clear those people were here because of the academy.'

Honestly, she didn't know what to say to that or try and argue her case before she heard Diego let out a loud, 'Fuck you, Five. Who the hell do you think you are? You ran away and what now that you're back you decided to call all the shots?'

If looks could talk, Five screamed loud and clear: murder.

However, just as the almost horrifying rage and murderous look crossed his face, it was pushed to a different corner of Five's character since he rather than attack Diego or continue to argue with him got to Vanya and helped her on her feet by grabbing her elbow.

'We're leaving,' he said and in the next moment, she was being led out of the house grateful that he didn't try to jump them again since her head and stomach would probably voice their protest with throwing up for real this time.

As he let her down the street to the alley in the back and opened the door of some white van for her he muttered 'Should have known they would be useless.'

She narrowed her eyes at him, 'They're just confused,' she wanted to add just like me, but bit her tongue, 'They mean well.'

Five rolled his eyes with the expression that wouldn't allow any bullshit, 'The only one who ever meant well for you besides me has a statute in the backyard.'

Ben

He came to sit to the driver's seat the irritation still there but mild, 'Don't cut them slack where they don't deserve any, Vanya,' he said and sighed before he turned around in his seat to look at her, 'Are you alright? You scared me.'

She grimaced, 'Not as much as I scared myself.'

His fingers reached out and the spot under her cut, 'Unlikely. Next time when I tell you to hid stay hidden.'

She rolled her eyes remembering how the man managed to find as if he had been looking for her, 'I was hidden, but they found me…in fact, it looked like they were specifically looking for me.'

If it bothered, Five he didn't let it show simply started the car not making her feel better.

The following day, they spent in a motel room of Five's choosing watching pointless TV while talking. When Vanya was a child she imagined what life would be like if they were adults and out of the house. She would like to think they would look pretty much like this with her and Five sharing snacks from the vending machine outside on the single bed they had been sharing so far, 'What are we even doing here?'

They just spent another hour watching Murder She Wrote marathon and as much as she loved Jessica Fletcher, Vanya seriously had to wonder.

'Waiting for the timeline to correct itself,' said Five chewing before he looked down at his snack, 'It's all bullshit. No way, this thing lasts five years let alone twenty.'

She blinked and tried to lean closer to him their knees touching. It was hardly the most intimate they were, but ever since he lost control in the bathroom, Five made sure to keep all their interactions child-friendly. If his heated gaze didn't threaten to burn her alive at times, she would almost thing what happened in the bathroom was just something since made up in her head.

'You say the weirdest things,' she told him and tried to catch his eyes as he stubbornly kept them on the snack bar.

When he finally did look up at her, he seemed very serious again, 'I went to the future, but…I got stuck. I lost count about how many times did I try to make it back but failed every time.

The corner of his lips pulled into an unpleasant grimace, 'I guess dad would have been the one to tell me I told you so after all.'

The feeling of dread hit her stomach and moved all the way to her chest, 'What was it like?'

He looked at the snack bar again, 'It was shit.'

She reached for his other hand instantly even before he elaborated on how exactly it was so bad. Someone the touch and maybe the fact that they were alone without anything to do and any disturbance caused him to open up and explain something things. She would be lying if she didn't admit how horrified she felt afterward shivering by the mere idea that something like being all alone in a dying world happened to him for forty-five years.

Her arms reached for him and pulled him closer when he stopped talking the comfort meant not only for him. As he pulled her closer almost imprisoning her in his arms breathing against her hair probably trying to chase away some memories made it clear it helped them both.

The first time he ever hugged her, they were kids, maybe twelve years old. She asked him what he was doing while he was writing his equations, and he lazily showed her his notebook with a hopeful look on his face of a child waiting to be praised. She couldn't recall what she told him, but he stood up so abruptly the chair behind him fell to the ground scaring her for a second before he hugged her close for a second before he pulled away with a big grin over his face, 'That's why you're my favorite, Vanya. You get me.'

He might have been grinning, but she was the one who felt on top of the world upon hearing them. It made her feel so good and special to hear that. Even if his hug was short-lived it felt warm and solid like he picked her up and spun her around in joy and yet shield her away from dangers and keep her upwards so she wouldn't end up underwater. It felt like coming home. It really did. It felt like everything all at once yet never too much even if it caused her to feel overwhelmed.

Vanya didn't want him to let her go. Ever.

They could stay like this forever, and she would be more than happy, grateful for it even.

'How did you get back?' she asked when she pulled a bit away keeping him close brushing his hair out of his eyes. She was already used to the new look, his new look.

He sighed, 'A woman, from an organization, came, the same one who sent those people to the house. She recruited me. Made me work for her in exchange for getting me out. She has a tool that helps hers and the agents who work for the organization time travel. I was on an assignment in 1963…when I got a shot of coming back to you and stopping the apocalypse. So I took it.'

His eyes looked somewhere between them as she still kept her hands around his neck not sensing any discomfort from him that she kept them there.

'Whatever it took,' she said trying to unsuccessfully catch his gaze, 'It was worth it, Five. It was worth it to come back home.'

Something crossed his face and before she could stop him he broke the soft moment by untangling her hands away from him. His eyes were troubled, haunted by memories or decisions he had to take. She probably shouldn't have asked. It was too much for him. He asked her to wait a bit longer and that he would explain everything. She should have listened.

'It's not your fault. I should have never left you in the first place. All of this could have been avoided. I know it could if only I stayed. We would have suffered a few more years, Ben would have been alive. We could have left together and found a nice place. I could have made you happy, and you…wouldn't have been sad and lonely…and the world wouldn't have ended,' he shook his head stopping his ramble that left her even more confused than before.

He stood up from the bed, 'What wasn't my fault?'

She was facing his back now still sitting on the bed trying to figure out if she wanted to know the answer or not. His confession about his past, about the past forty-five years, was heavy and horrible, but she knew it could have been worse. Whatever he was having trouble saying out loud was no doubt one of those worse things.

She stroked his hair with affection noticing how he closed his eyes in bliss for a moment.

'Whatever happened. Whatever happened or happens and involves me…I have a right to know,' she said her voice shaking as if not even she herself believed her own words, 'Let me be the judge of what happened and if it was my fault.'

Five turned around and looked at her, she knew even before he reached into his pocket that she managed to break through to him. Even if he was the more dominant one, even if he was the one in charge, who had to take the lead between the two of them, she was also the only one he could listen to, to only one he could give in and change his mind for.

His hand reached hers with the piece of paper, the one she probably heard a couple of days ago inside his pants pocket.

'Here, this is the list of events my third nipple abomination left in my jacket as we fought in 1963,' he said with a certain distaste that almost threw the anxiety of the moment out of the window causing the whole scene to become bizarre.

'Your what?' she asked confused losing some of the angsts and dread from such an absurd almost laughable choice of words.

'Just read it,' he urged her, and she took the piece paper, 'I will give you some privacy. I will be out in the car. If you still want to talk to me afterward, you can call me.'

She gripped the piece of paper tighter, 'You don't have to. I don't even know what this means-,' she tried to make him wait and stay not sure she was ready to deal with whatever was written on the paper alone, but he walked outside closing the door on her. At least this time, he didn't run.

Her legs got her back to the bed, where she sat down and glanced at her hand and the piece of paper before finally deciding to open it. Clearly, she wouldn't be able to find a way out of it, so she might as have to see what it was all about.

She instantly knew it was written by Five, the handwriting was terrible and the words and sentences often appeared as if they were running around the paper rather than tried to tell anyone anything useful. Vanya, however, was more than familiar with his way of writing often a witness to most of it on his walls and knew just how to make sense of it.

She knew even if there was something written above it, the title or first sentence should have been: Instructions for screw-ups to stop the apocalypse.

Get rid of the tracking in your wrist.

Vanya paused remembering the first night when he came back home with a bleeding wrist not really explaining how he got hurt just asking if she would ever hurt him. Her stomach dropped for some reason again before she continued to read.

Make nice with Vanya.

Why would he need to do that? Was he planning to be an asshole to her? Did he do something in the future or past to cause her to be upset with him?

She frowned and looked at the door. Was this all a trick? He needed to make nice with her to help whatever plan he had to stop the apocalypse, so he faked it going as far as to make her believe he liked her, wanted her, loved her maybe even.

Her chest tightened at the horrible thought especially wondering if he changed so much that he would be able to do so.

Kill the tactical team.

She saw the way he fought with those people in the house if he didn't have to worry about her what would he have done? Also the organization and the woman who saved him, Vanya couldn't imagine any work Five would do for them to be friendly or good. They broke into the house, and maybe even tried to kidnap her.

Don't let Vanya out of your sight.

Was that why he made her stay in his room? To keep an eye on her? Protect her or protect the world?

Kill Harold Jenkins/Leonard Peabody slowly something was crossed away with a different pen, but Vanya could make out. He toyed with her was crossed over and filled with manipulated Vanya.

She didn't know the man, but she figured this was the person Five spoke about when he kissed her and made out with her in the bathroom. Her heartbeat speeded up just by the memory of it. No, even with her own feelings compromised, she couldn't imagine Five ever faking his feelings, love for her. Not like that.

Keep her in one location.

He made her promise not to leave the house and brought her here instead of her apartment. It made sense if he didn't want the organization, the people who still worked for it to find her.

Avoid the mall.

She didn't know what that meant honestly.

Don't let the Handler or anyone from the Commission figure out what you're doing.

Made sense if his plan went against the organization that he would try to endure they wouldn't find out what he up to.

Ignore your siblings if necessary, after that was writing they will not thank you later obviously.

She allowed herself a humor chuckle at that.

Keep her from blowing up until April the 1st.

Blowing up?

What did he mean by that? Her mind once again drifted to the conversation from the first night.

If she had the power could she have hurt him?

Could it mean…?

She thought she made out most of the orders right before she returned to the first sentence and the line written above it.

It was written out, but still clearly there.

Afterward, tell her how you feel.

Vanya glanced down at the car white van parked by her motel before she put on a jacket over Five's-her PJs and walked toward it.

Five let her in instantly not looking happier about her decision to walk alone and not call him as he told her to.

She returned the piece of paper to him before he shook his head, 'It's not like I don't know it by heart.'

'Who gave it to you?' she asked quietly tugging it into her jacket, 'My future self from a timeline that was already changed and erased.'

Vanya watched him for a moment before said with a certain softness reserved only for her, 'It's alright. It's a lot to take in.'

She chuckled a bit before she nodded calming herself down, 'So I have powers?' It was a bit hard to accept given how often and long she was told she was ordinary. Also, the fact that her powers could cause problems then again she witnessed first handed the dark side to having powers, broken bones, exhaustion, nightmares, failed marriages and lives, getting lost in times even… death.

Five nodded carefully for her benefit but not keeping anything from her maybe just softening the blow a bit. He seemed to have a habit of trying to be soft with her a lot, 'Destructive ones, but most likely all you really needed was a better teacher than dad.'

A frown settled over features, 'He knew…'

Of course, he knew.

He was dad.

Anger rushed to her body. That-that hypocrite and asshole, all her life, every day, he made her feel so-so worthless thinking she was born so unlucky if he told her if he just told her…

Wouldn't it make her want to be a part of the academy even more?

She thought about it for a moment before she accepted the truth that it would, and if her powers were truly so horrible, she didn't even want to imagine what they could cause if unleashed.

'He believed you couldn't be taught, and that your abilities were too dangerous,' he said turning to look at her properly.

'Do you-'

'I believe you just need time,' he opened to her jacket pocket, 'The pills keep your emotions and powers in check more or less, once the threat of the apocalypse is over we could try to slowly lower your dosage and practice. If you would want to,' his eyes gave nothing away. He would have taught her. He believed he would do a better job than dad.

Vanya believed him. She always believed him.

'This should go without saying, but…you wrote that you needed to make nice with me,' she started not sure how to finish and ask what she wanted to even if deep down she already knew the answer.

Five leaned toward her and in a heartbeat, move kissed her burying his fingers into her hair and shoulder making her taste his desire and love for her. That couldn't be faked. She knew so in her heart.

When he leaned away, she kept her eyes closed for a moment just to breathe the air around their kiss in and let the feeling remain just a little bit longer inside her.

She smiled at him when she finally opened her eyes despite all the chaos and revelations feeling almost high with joy and peace, 'I was curious about one thing on the list.'

He smirked before he caressed her cheek lightly, 'I will tell you after all of this is over. I'm a sticker for the rules and order of things you know.'

She went to roll her eyes, but he cut her annoyance off with another kiss stealing her breath and thoughts away.

Alright, she would let him follow his rules, she had a pretty decent idea about what he wanted to say anyway feeling the same.

Koniec