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Turns out Sheppard - John - isn’t into assertive behavior in the bedroom, despite the profession, and isn’t that a shame? Rodney’s second thought after they’d kissed had been how good John would look in his uniform, cock hanging out, telling Rodney what to do.
But, alas, it isn’t to be. If anything, John’s borderline timid, when they’re in bed. Forget taking charge, the often-non-verbal colonel keeps stopping to ask if Rodney’s comfortable, or if he wants something different. Rodney’d enjoyed the power of it at first, of course. Who wouldn’t? Telling Sheppard around, getting sex exactly how he wanted it.
Meredith Rodney McKay isn’t one to let things go, though, or settle for less than greatness. So he grows antsy, and paranoid. The gears in his head won’t stop turning, he keeps wondering if John was ever secretly wanting something else, something more. He comes every time, but what does that mean, really, other than the fact that he wants sex with Rodney? It doesn’t tell Rodney about his favorite position, or any kinks. So Rodney does what he does best: Speak his mind.
“What should we do? Why don’t you suggest something?”
“I am,” John says slowly, stopping half-way through taking off Rodney’s shirt. “My suggestion is to have sex.”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney says, waving a dismissive hand, and pushing his t-shirt the rest of the way off. “But how? What position? Do you want to go to the washroom so you can bend me - or actually maybe I can bend you - over the sink?”
Just as Rodney expected, all John does is shrug. “Is that what you want?” He glances back towards the washroom door.
“No, I want to know what you want. We always do what I want!”
“I,” John starts, then pauses to give Rodney’s chest a kiss. “Want to have sex.”
Exasperated, Rodney sighs. “Give me more than that, Sheppard! Your detestation for verbal communication does not give you a free pass here.” He nudges John’s chin to make him look up at him. “Come on, let’s do something different, something you want to try. We have no mission tomorrow, and I’ve been attending the senior staff meetings much too frequently and am due to miss one.”
John doesn’t respond, but looks pensive. He looks at Rodney’s eyes, then his chest, then back up. It looks like he wants to say something, but can’t. Either that or he’s constipated, Rodney can’t really be sure.
“How about this,” Rodney offers, feeling magnanimous. “I tell you a kink of mine, and you tell me if you share it. If not, you tell me one of yours. Then we keep going.” He pauses, then feels it necessary to add: “And I mean share it, Sheppard, and not the ‘I can lie back and think of England’ kind.”
“I’m not English,” John says unnecessarily.
“Sheppard!”
“OK.”
“Choking,” Rodney offers, knowing that it’s a fairly tame one, but a good opening nevertheless to steer things in the direction he wants.
John considers this for a moment. “You or me?”
“Oh. Hm.” Rodney’s not sure, actually. He’s always been on the receiving end, but can see the attraction in the other way around, too. “Both, I guess, but I was talking about you choking me.”
“I can do that,” John says, but his expression is still hard to read. They might as well be talking about whether they’ll have a ham or turkey sandwich.
“But do you want to is the question, Sheppard, stop being deliberately obtuse, I know you’re not an idiot!”
“Rodney, I… I’m not lying to you, or hiding anything. I just happen to enjoy a lot of things.” He looks a bit abashed, which mollifies Rodney a little bit.
“Yes, well.” He sighs. “Even if your list is a mile long, if I-- Let’s say we got a holodeck sort of situation. There’s a copy of me there or-- or… Someone else if you want.” He tries not to feel self-conscious in his balding, middle-aged body. Maybe Sheppard isn’t thinking of anything athletic or creative because… Well, it doesn’t matter, does it? “You can do anything, with zero consequences. I-- Your partner can’t react poorly to it, and no one can get hurt.”
“You’re not letting this go, are you?” John says, but doesn’t sound angry or defeated. Mildly amused, if anything.
“Have I ever let anything go since you’ve met me?” Rodney asks, straightening up a bit and making John sit up on the bed.
When he looks at Rodney this time his expression isn’t a mystery. He looks turned on, as if he’s imagining something, and a little predatory. Rodney’s heart starts racing. “Well?” he can’t help but ask after only a few seconds.
“I know how you are, Rodney. If I tell you, you’ll want to do it,” John says, his face softening as he speaks. “You won’t tell me ‘no thanks’, you’re not capable of it. You haven’t met a problem you haven’t wanted to fix, or a theory you haven’t wanted to prove or disprove.”
“So there is something! And what’s wrong with me wanting to try it?” Rodney asks, offended.
“You wouldn’t like it, Rodney.” He continues on before Rodney can speak up. “I know it. We’ve been doing this for a while, and I’ve known you for years before that. It’s just not your thing. And that’s alright. If that’s top of my list, there’s hundreds of items after it that can easily be just as good.”
“But not top of your list,” Rodney says, pouting.
John gets that constipated look on his face again.
“I promise I’ll let it go if I really don’t want it.”
John laughs, and part of Rodney’s glad the donkey-laugh is breaking the tension a bit, but the other part feels frustrated.
After almost a minute of silence during which they look around and John strokes Rodney’s leg idly, John speaks up again. “Well, you said you’d like for me to choke you,” he says slowly. “How would you feel about… Submission?” he asks carefully.
“Submission,” Rodney repeats. “You mean… Me submitting to you?” This would make John take charge, and is sort of in line with what Rodney had been thinking of. Although he hadn’t thought of it in that clear a line. Submission sounds like pain and punishment might be involved.
John nods, watching Rodney intently, his thumb making circular motions on Rodney’s thigh gently.
Rodney considers. John’s right, he hates to admit, it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t sound perfect, he needs to at least try to do it. “I won’t call you Sir,” he snaps defensively, thinking of a BDSM video he’d watched.
“I have enough people calling me Sir, Rodney,” John drawls with a half-smile. “And I don’t want to sleep with any of them.”
“Then what would it entail? Do I have to wear anything? Eyes-on-the-floor? You know I’m an abrasive, outspoken man, and I can’t turn that off. Oh god, am I gonna have to be quiet?” There’s so many possibilities, so many facets of this thing, now that Rodney’s thinking about it. And for some reason he’s imagining a nun with huge tits and a big ruler in her hands. Hm.
“We can talk about it,” John says, uncharacteristically serious and gentle, and moves up on the bed a bit so he can reach Rodney’s arm. “We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
Rodney snorts. “I know that,” he says. “I just… I like having parameters. Knowing what we’ll do.”
“Well, we’ll discuss limits and options, but… Rodney, if we do this, a big part of it, for me, is the not knowing.”
“What do you mean?” Rodney asks with a frown. Who with an IQ above that of a chimp’s doesn’t want to know things? Sheppard’s making no sense.
“It won’t be planned out perfectly, and you won’t always know what I’ll ask or do next. I’ll respect your limits, but if I told you step-by-step what’s going to happen, there’d be no submission in that. You’d just be going through the motions, waiting for the next step. I wouldn’t be in control.”
There’s a few beats of silence. “Wow,” Rodney says, eyebrows raised. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you string that many words together in a row.”
John rolls his eyes, and just like that, the mood is a bit more relaxed.
“No, really, I need to tell Zelenka about this. Does Carter know?”
“Rodney,” John says, dragging out the syllables. “Don’t be an ass.”
“Well, excuse me for being a little nervous about this.” And there it is, the tension’s back again. Rodney can feel his body tighten, even his neck feels stiff.
“That’s alright,” John says, in that soothing tone of voice again. “We can take it slow.”
“And I’ll get to come at the end of this?” Rodney says with palpable doubt.
John chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, Rodney, you’ll come.” Then he pauses and his smile grows into a nefarious grin. “If you’re good.”
Rodney’s first instinct is to retort back about how he’s not a catholic school boy and he certainly has no plans of being good. But something about the way John says the word doesn’t sound bad. Rodney almost wants to hear him say “good boy”. He wants to earn that praise. “I can be good,” he says, doing his best not to let his voice waver. John’s nose is almost touching his now - when did he move?
“Do you want any safe words? For ‘slow down’ and ‘stop’?” John asks. One by one the words sound innocent enough, but the glint in his eye, and his deep voice, say otherwise.
It doesn’t take long for Rodney to come up with them. “‘Pterodactyl’ for ‘stop’. ‘Cinnamon’ for ‘slow down’.” He’s ready with lengthy explanations for both, but John only nods.
“I don’t need safewords,” John answers back. “And I’m not likely to continue if you tell me ‘no’ or ‘stop’ plainly.”
Rodney feels a bit silly for having come up with the words, when John puts it like that, and tries to keep his face from burning up. John doesn’t help that when he strokes Rodney’s jaw softly, and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips.
“This only works for me if you actively want it, Rodney, don’t forget that. I like submission, but only when it’s willingly given.” He moves even closer, pushing their chests flush against each other, and putting his mouth against Rodney’s neck. “When I order you to kneel, I want you to feel good dropping onto the floor. When I order you to open your mouth, I want you to salivate at the mere thought. When I spank you, I want you to love every time you feel my palm against your ass, lifting it up for the next strike.”
Rodney’s heart is racing, and he’s breathing fast. He can work with this. He can most definitely work with this. He doesn’t need to look down to know that Rodney Junior’s fully onboard too.
“Now,” John continues, his voice still low and half-way between seductive and serious. “We won’t do anything we haven’t done before, just a bit rougher, and you have to be a little nicer, or you might get slapped. That sound OK?”
“N-now?” he asks, as John kisses his nape.
John stands up, and looks down at Rodney in a way Rodney’s never seen before, not even when John’s in the field in full Lt. Colonel mode. “Take off the rest of your clothes,” John says - no, orders.
Rodney makes a move to get up to take off his pants, but John slaps him - albeit not too hard - in the face. “I didn’t say get off the bed. You don’t do anything I don’t tell you to do. Keep sitting on the bed, and take off your clothes.” There’s something inexplicable in John’s posture that makes him look more authoritative. Rodney’s quick and perceptive brain can’t pin it down exactly. He thinks maybe something with the shoulders.
What does he expect me to do, lift my ass to get off the pants like I’m a kid getting undressed? That would look so...odd, and humiliating. Then he realizes that that’s exactly what John’s going for, so he does it without further protest. He’s already promised himself he’d give this a fair chance, and he’s turned on beyond belief which in and of itself amazing, so he’ll give it his all. He’s watched enough porn, he can guess what John will ask for.
Once he’s completely naked, he’s expecting a “good boy” from John, but all he gets is a curt nod, and another command. “Jerk yourself off.”
“I thought the point was to have sex together, Sheppard?”
“I thought you didn’t like pain, Rodney. Was I wrong about that? Because if I was, I have an excellent leather belt that would do for a paddle in a pinch.”
“No, I don’t like pain!” Rodney protests, almost spluttering.
“Then why are you still talking back?” John says calmly, raising a curious eyebrow. “I don’t mind spoiling my pets, if you want to be slapped or spanked more, just ask for it.”
Pets? he thinks, but doesn’t say out loud. “I don’t… Fine. I’ll… I’ll jerk off.” He starts moving his left hand on his cock, focusing on the tip where the precome is already leaking because his body’s a traitor and apparently he’s into humiliation now, and isn’t that grand? “Happy?” he asks snidely.
“OK,” John says with what Rodney can’t call anything but an evil grin. “Let’s do this your way.”
Before Rodney even has a chance to ask what that means, John’s somehow grabbed him by the shoulder, and is turning him around. Did he teleport? Rodney wonders. How does he move so fast?
John’s not spanking him though, or even pushing him towards the bed. No, he’s pushing and pulling to arrange him as he wants, which apparently is sitting with his back to John, with his arms between him and John’s chest. John roughly spreads Rodney’s legs until they’re touching his own, and his naked cock’s dripping obscenely onto the sheets in between them.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do, Rodney,” he says roughly into Rodney’s right ear. He drags one hand across Rodney’s chest as he speaks. “You’re gonna be a good boy for me, and let me take care of you.” He pinches a nipple gently, causing Rodney to let out an involuntary little sigh.
“I can do that,” Rodney agrees readily, as John’s other hand trails down to his cock and starts stroking ever-so-softly.
“Yeah?” John says, sugar-y sweet. “Gonna let me play with you? Keep your arms where I’ve put them?”
It is uncomfortable, but Rodney’s not about to turn down a handjob, especially under the circumstances. As far as discomfort and submission goes, he figures this is very doable. “Yeah,” Rodney agrees. Even at his most demanding, Sheppard seems very easy to please. He’ll just make him give him a back massage to make up for the aching of his shoulder blades, after.
John pinches his left nipple a bit harder, with a sort of flicking motion, and Rodney hisses. The hiss gets rewarded, Rodney feels, with a kiss on the neck. It goes on like that for a while - John plays with Rodney’s nipples, kisses every time Rodney makes any discomfort noises. All in all, it’s not bad, just uncomfortable. His cock’s still hard as steel because hello, he’s having sex with John and they’re doing kinky things. This night’s a success already.
He is about done being teased, though. “Come on,” he says, and lifts his hips up to urge John to get more serious with the cock-stroking.
“You want me to jerk you off, Rodney?” John asks, with the same sweet voice. This time around, though, it sounds evil, like a nymph or siren that’s about to get Rodney killed. Rodney frowns at the thought. John’s just being nice. Probably his ‘domination’ fantasies are just spoiling his partner. Figures, with the whole hero complex and all.
“Yes,” Rodney says hurriedly, thrusting up again. “Please,” he adds, trying to remember that they’re trying to act out a fantasy. He certainly doesn’t want to get backhanded again.
“Maybe I’m not ready to stop playing yet,” John says and wow, Rodney really can hear the grin.
“Sheppard, you promised me I’d get to come! It’s been-- It’s been--” He looks around for a clock, since he can’t look at his watch. “I don’t know! A while!”
“What if I don’t want you to come?” John asks casually, taking his hand off of Rodney’s cock, and dragging his fingernails across his upper thigh instead. “What if I want to keep you leaking and aching and begging for it? I could tie you up, leave you like that.”
“You wouldn’t!” Rodney says, eyes wide, feeling scandalized. And yet… and yet his traitorous cock is throbbing at the thought. Being at John’s mercy doesn’t sound too bad. He needs to do more research about this submission thing. He doesn’t like not being in control, but his cock sure seems to enjoy it.
“I would,” John says, seriously this time. “But I won’t,” he adds, back to the sweetness that by now Rodney’s worked out to be completely fake. “Not what I have in mind tonight.”
After that, John stops playing with Rodney’s thigh, and puts his hand back on Rodney’s cock. He spreads the precome around Rodney’s cock and then starts stroking him really, really fast. Jackhammer-fast. First-timer-not-knowing-how-to-give-a-handjob fast. It’s not painful exactly, but it’s difficult to enjoy.
“Sheppard, that-- That--”
John pauses. “Does it hurt?”
Rodney considers lying. Then remembers that John can always tell. “Well,” he says, dragging the syllable out. “No, but--” John starting up again cuts him off. It’s difficult to explain why it’s uncomfortable, exactly. It’s wet enough to not hurt, it doesn’t feel bad. It feels good actually, sort of, it just… It just feels out of control, and not at all the way Rodney jacks off when he does it to himself.
That’s when Rodney has another revelation; that’s it, isn’t it? John’s trying to take charge of how Rodney’s cock gets played with. It was too soft at first, now it’s too fast. And because it’s not what Rodney prefers, Rodney keeps not being able to let go, enjoy, and come.
To his surprise, the next words out of his mouth aren’t about how Sheppard can take his submission and stick it up his ass because Rodney’s not into edging, thank you. Instead, he says, softly: “Please, John.”
“Yeah?” John asks again, pleased this time. “See, was that so hard?”
“That’s what you wanted?” Rodney almost-shouts, back to his snippy self. “You could’ve just
said!”
“But that wouldn’t be fun, would it?” John says, but starts jerking Rodney off just the way he likes it, now. Nice, firm strokes with a thumb flick right towards the end, focusing on the top half, making Rodney’s pleasure go up up up. “I find positive incentive works much better than laying down rules.” He squeezes right beneath the head of Rodney’s cock. “More fun too, don’t you think?”
“Y-yeah just--just--don’t stop!”
John keeps going, starts speaking softly to go along with it, too. Encouraging Rodney, complimenting him. “Yeah, Rodney, there you go. Such a nice cock. Feels so good. You’re doing so well. Such a good boy.”
It’s the last one that finally pushes Rodney over the edge. He comes, gasping, throwing his head over John’s neck.
Gradually, his breathing steadies, and he makes a move to get his arms freed so he can relax. As soon as he tries, though, John’s left hand pushes his chest, ensuring he stays trapped. Annoyance tries to make an appearance but it’s like a bee buzzing in the background beneath his post-orgasm haze. “Mmm,” he complains. “John.” He tries to move his shoulders again.
“Stay,” John orders.
Then, for some unfathomable reason, John’s right hand starts moving again. Covered in come, it strokes Rodney’s still mostly-hard cock. Up down up down until Rodney makes a sound of discomfort again, and shuffles where he sits. That triggers John’s sadism apparently, because he squeezes Rodney’s cock and starts jacking it, as if he hasn’t just come less than a minute ago.
“John!” he moans. “It… it’s sensitive.”
“Yeah,” John breathes out, hot and heavy. “I know.” He keeps going, and doesn’t stop even when Rodney starts physically squirming.
“John I-- I can’t-- Ah--”
“Just a bit more,” John says, his demeanour comforting again, like it was at the very beginning. “For me,” he adds.
“F-for--for you,” Rodney agrees, trying to make sense of what he’s feeling. He’s come so he’s not turned on anymore, but it feels… It feels intimate. Different. He even sort of understands what John meant by not knowing. There’s something oddly freeing within the confusion of sensations.
“Such a good boy,” John says, and Rodney can hear him smile again. John starts nuzzling Rodney’s hair, and brings both hands up to rest on Rodney’s chest. “Thank you.”
Rodney feels ashamed all of a sudden. “I-- I don’t… What’re you thanking me for? You haven’t even…” A thought occurs to him. “I guess you… Ah… Is this the point where you bend me over, spank me and fuck me?”
John chuckles. “Tempting, but no.” He kisses Rodney’s head, then gets out from behind Rodney, freeing his arms. “No, I think I’ll… I think I’ll just do this, actually.” He gets on his knees in front of Rodney and takes out his cock from his boxer briefs. He bends down then, and places a hand on Rodney’s jaw. “I’ve always loved your mouth,” he says, dragging a finger across Rodney’s lower lip.
“That’s something I don’t hear often,” Rodney mumbles, but opens his mouth all the same.
“Be good, and you’ll find I’m all praise,” John says, playful.
And good Rodney is, sucking and stroking John’s cock as well as he knows how. Rodney’s always enjoyed giving partners pleasure, that’s no surprise at all. But, as John pushes his head down further down on his cock, Rodney thinks he also seems to have a thing for being kinky with it, too. Maybe there’s something to this submission thing after all.