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“Why don’t you go get a drink? You look like you could use one.”
Clarke sighed. “I could use more than one.”
“Then have more than one. Clarke, the Exodus ship carrying your mother comes down here in two days. After that, the party’s over. Have some fun while you still can. You deserve it.”
She considered for a moment. “Yeah, okay,” she said before turning and walking away. Pausing, she turned back to Bellamy. “So do you, by the way.”
He smiled. “I’ll have my fun when the Grounders come.”
“Alright,” she started walking again, casting one last glance in his direction.
Clarke did have a drink, and then another. She wandered around the camp at first, greeting the other teens and chatting with them for a moment or two. At some point, she found herself playing a drinking game. She laughed quite a bit and by the end of the evening, her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. It was the first night that she had mingled with some of these people, and she was glad to share such a good time with them.
After a while, she decided it was time to head to bed. With the world fuzzy around the edges, and her eyelids drooping ever so slightly, she walked back towards towards the tented area of the camp. Pushing open the flap of the tent she arrived at, she stepped inside - and then blinked in confusion.
“Bellamy?”
He was standing in front of his makeshift bed wearing a grey long sleeved shirt and dark pants. His feet were bare. In his hands he held a piece of paper, and he glanced up from reading it as she entered.
“Clarke?” His lips twitched as he fought a smile, taking in her drunken state. Placing the paper on a crate serving as a small table, he faced her directly.
“So, did you have fun tonight?” he asked teasingly.
“What are you doing in my tent?” Clarke’s voice sounded far away from herself. She stared at Bellamy. He chuckled and crossed his arms.
“Actually, Princess, you’re in my tent.”
Clarke furrowed her brow. She glanced around and was surprised to see that he was right.
“You’re right. I’m...sorry.” She couldn’t help giggling, a silly drunken sound.
A wide grin spread across Bellamy’s face at her inebriated state.
“Would you like me to walk you home?” he asked, stepping closer to her.
Clarke looked into his eyes, and thought back to the first few days on Earth, when they had been at odds. Before they had learned to work together, to trust each other. He had changed a lot since the day they landed here - she once found him intimidating and dangerous, but she knew now that he was just determined and protective. She had seen the goodness in him.
Ever since they had fought Dax in the woods near the aid depot, Clarke had seen Bellamy in a new light. She’d seen that he was a good person who wanted to do the right thing, a person who wanted to change for the better.
When they’d spoken at the party earlier that evening, she’d felt a strange sensation growing in her chest when he’d smiled at her. Looking into his eyes now, a similar feeling brewed inside her - stronger this time.
Clarke took a step forward, standing so close to Bellamy that she could feel his breath. She looked up into his eyes. Their bodies were almost touching. Her skin buzzed with electricity, and she drew in a shaky breath.
“Clarke...” Bellamy whispered, and she felt him gasp as she pressed her lips to his.
He hesitated, then kissed her back gently. His lips were soft against hers, insistent. She moaned softly into him. The taste of him kiss was more delicious than anything she’d experienced before.
His hands came up to grasp her by the arms, and he pushed her back ever so slightly, breaking the kiss. Their lips parted and she opened her eyes, looking into his. She was unprepared for the vulnerability that she saw within them.
“Clarke. We can’t do this right now,” he said slowly, still holding her by the arms.
“I’m...I’m sorry,” she whispered. She blinked and stared at him, feeling confused.She felt her cheeks flush, and turned her head to the side.
Of course he doesn’t want you , she thought, her mind suddenly feeling foggier.
Clarke tried to twist out of his grip, to get out of his tent as quickly as possible. He held her firmly, but not roughly, and didn’t let her pull away.
“Clarke, listen to me,” Bellamy said, and she stilled, looking at him. “Please don’t be upset. I just...you’re drunk. You might not really want this. If you did want this...I mean...,” he sighed, “I just can’t let you do this when you’re drunk. It wouldn’t feel right.”
He reached up to push a lock of hair out of her face. Clarke was shocked at how tender he could be, something she never expected from him. It dawned on her that everything she had believed about this boy was proving to be false.
“Thank you,” she said softly, and leaned forward to hug him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. She felt his strong, muscular arms wrap around her tightly, and they hugged for what seemed like a long time.
She shivered when he whispered in her ear, his breath warm against her skin.
“Anything for you, Princess.”
Finally, she pulled back from him, but took both of his hands within her own. He threaded his fingers between her own and gave her a small smile.
“Come on. I’ll walk you back to your tent. You need to sleep, Clarke,” Bellamy said.
She nodded, and then suddenly she wavered, her fatigue and the alcohol catching up with her. She moved quickly to sit on the edge of the bed, and rested her face in her hands.
Bellamy knelt in front of her and slipped his hands into her own. “You alright, Princess?”
Clarke nodded.
“Why don’t you get into bed? I’ll sleep on the ground. You just get some rest, okay?”
Again she nodded and allowed him to help her get situated on the bed with a blanket over her. She rested her head against his pillow and sighed. She gazed up at him as he made she sure the blanket covered her completely. Their eyes met and he smiled down at her.
“Stay with me,” she said suddenly, feeling more clearheaded than she had all night. Her hand found one of his and gripped it firmly. “Please?”
He stilled, and looked at her for a long moment. She didn’t speak, just held his gaze silently. Finally he looked away, and nodded once. His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed hard.
Clarke backed up on the bed so that she was more on one side than in the middle. Bellamy drew the blanket down to climb underneath it, and didn’t pull it up to cover himself fully once he was situated.
He seemed to feel a little awkward, so Clarke took his arm and put it around her, resting her head and one hand against his chest. She curled into his side, and was pleased to feel him wrap his arm around her back snugly. He turned his face slightly so that his chin rested atop her head.
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. His smell reminded her of the forest, and it smelled distinctly of Earth. It was comforting to her. She took another deep breath, wanting to hold onto his scent forever.
Clarke tried to imagine Bellamy living on the Ark, living within the enclosed spaces, breathing that stale and fading air. The environment in that world was almost sterile compared to the rough conditions on the ground. It was impossible to reconcile her image of Bellamy the leader on Earth with the picture of Bellamy the janitor on the Ark.
She felt him sigh under her, and smiled as sleep quickly overtook her.
The next morning, Clarke woke up to the first rays of sunlight peeking through the tent’s tiny window. She screwed her eyes shut and groaned a little before opening them a crack.
She was not in her tent. Opening her eyes wide, she recognized Bellamy’s tent -- then realized that she was laying against another person, and pulled back slightly to see that it was Bellamy himself, still sound asleep.
She shook her head to clear it, and her memories of the night before became clearer. Talking to Bellamy, kissing him, and his respecting her enough to turn her down. She gazed at him while he slept.
She realized that he was snoring ever so slightly, barely audible and barely enough to feel as she lay against him. She felt his heartbeat in his chest, strong and steady under her hand. His arm was still around her, but wasn’t holding her as tightly as when they had gone to bed. The morning air was cool, but her body was warm under the blanket, pressed up against his.
Clarke smiled to herself. She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and then rested her head on his chest once again.
Sleep came upon her once again, and she was dozing lightly when Bellamy stirred beneath her. Clarke woke fully at the movement and squinted against the bright sunlight. Bellamy was blinking down at her. She couldn’t suppress her grin at his sleepy face. His hair was sticking out from his head messily and he looked younger than usual.
How adorable, Clarke thought.
“Good morning,” she said quietly, almost unwilling to disturb the silence of the room.
“Morning, Princess,” he mumbled back, and wrapped his arm around her once more. He brought the other hand up to her cheek and pushed her hair behind her ear. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel...pretty good, actually,” she replied, and turned her head, pressing a soft kiss to his fingertips. He drew a sharp breath, and she met his gaze.
His eyes showed vulnerability again, though they were more guarded than last night. He leaned in, and hesitated for a moment, as though expecting she might want to pull away at the last minute. Then he closed the space between them and kissed her hard.
Her skin felt electric as she kissed him back hungrily. She reached up to thread her fingers through his hair as he shifted so that he was above her, propped up on one elbow. They kissed for a long time before he pulled away, laying back on the bed next to her. They were both panting slightly.
“Clarke,” he said with a smile she’d never seen on his face before, “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
She stared at him. It was only recently that she had realized her feelings for him. How long had he felt the same way about her? Her heart pounded.
Suddenly she imagined herself going to bed in her own tent tonight, alone, without Bellamy’s scent surrounding her. The thought was unfathomable to her. Laying in bed here, with him, was the first time on Earth she’d ever felt at home.
How had she become so dependent on him already? She had known that she was starting to like him, once she had started to see the good parts of him, but there hadn’t been a strong romantic pull between them. But after last night, and this morning, she realized that having him close to her felt as necessary as having air to breathe.
“Bellamy,” she whispered, and his brow furrowed as he noticed the uncertainty in her voice. “This...this is a big deal. There’s something...something here. With us. I...” she trailed off and cast her eyes downward, unsure of how to explain what she was feeling.
His hand found hers and squeezed it reassuringly, his other hand lifting her chin gently so that her gaze met his.
“It’s okay, Clarke. I know what you mean. I feel the same way,” he kissed her forehead and drew her in tightly against him.
She smiled contentedly, breathing in his scent once more.