Chapter Text
Clarke was sleeping by the fire next to Octavia. Murphy had set up lookout over Finn next to a doubletree, still harboring his rifle. The area, the temporary camp was set on, was large, in between several large trees. Bellamy had thought it was the perfect place to rest for the night.
The events of the day kept playing over and over in his mind. It had started nicely enough. He had just been sitting like this. Watching over their search party, which included, himself, Octavia, and Clarke. He can remembered how he watched Octavia sleep, so glad to have her back. She had only been gone a couple days but she had changed. She had come into contact with Lincoln’s people and they had taught her a great deal. She was strong regardless but this was different. It was like she had come into who she was supposed to be. Here. In a place that was full of death and great pain. He was proud of her. He knew she didn't need his protection anymore, but that didn't mean he would ever stop looking over her. That would never change.
Then he remembered how he had looked to Clarke. He had been so amazed by this girl, no woman. She was a woman, a strong independant woman, capable of doing anything she set her mind to. He remembered the feeling of having her in his arms. He had seen her coming but had no time to react before her arms were around his neck, almost strangling him with how hard she was hugging him. It took him a couple of seconds before he got his grip on what was happening before he started to hug her back. He quickly embraced her with all his strength when he processed how she felt flush to his body. He knew something had changed between them. He couldn’t quite process what at the time, but he knew now.
He knew that she kept surprising him. For one, she was alive, against all odds, Clarke, his princess, was in fact alive. He had thought she was dead. He had almost given up all hope that his co-leader was alive and then, she just was. He was so glad to see she was okay, but sad to see the condition she was in. She had recounted what she had been through, and damn, it was she had been through so much in just a couple of days. He respected how strong and capable she was. She was was willing to do anything and everything in her power to escape Mount Weather and try to find her missing people, and she accomplished that goal. She was going to do everything in her power to save her people from Mount Weather.
He thought for a while, staring into the dim firelight. He didn't know when it had happened or why, but she mattered to him. He pondered how they hated each other once, but now; now, he didn't know how she felt, but he knew how he did. He knew her heart was beating just as fast as his when she hugged him, if not faster. He saw how she had hugged his sister and it wasn't the same. Raven told him of how they hugged, and they really didn't like one another at first, and it didn't seem the same either. His heart started to beat faster again, looking at her. How and why did she have this effect on him? Why now?
His eyelids were getting heavy. He could barely hold them open. Murphy was whistling, quietly, still hovering over a completely knocked out Finn. He must have noticed Bellamys state of tiredness, “Hey, Bellamy, get some sleep. Finn is out. I don't think he will be waking anytime soon, with all that special tea Nyko forced down his throat. I can keep watch over all of you.”
Bellamy shrugged. “Thanks, Murphy. Are you sure, though? I mean, what if he does wake up?”
Murphy’s lips drew up in the corners, in a small smile. “Then I will have no choice but to knock him out the old fashioned way. With the butt of my riffle. I cannot guarantee he won’t have any head trauma, but its better than three of us dying in the process.” Bellamy looked to him, a question in his gaze. “Oh, come on, Bellamy. He went crazy because he couldn't find Clarke. It was her that he was really after. Though, I don't think she will ever forgive what he has done. Even I know her better than that. Especially after he made her believe he did it for her. Reality, he did it for himself. I tried to stop him, but I think, Spacewalker is a bit too infatuated with the princess to see reason.”
Bellamy nodded. “Okay, I will try to get a few minutes of sleep. You have permission to do whatever you have to do to keep him under control, Just don't kill him. That’s up for council decision.”
Murphy sighed. “Course, Bellamy.” He paused. “By the way, I had nothing to do with the shooting today, or the killing, Bellamy. I swear.”
Bellamy looked back to Murphy. “Do you think I would let you watch over us all if I thought you had?” He rolled his eyes. “Goodnight Murphy. Wake me up if you have any problems whatsoever.” Bellamy laid down in between Octavia and Clarke. The last thing he remembered seeing before his eyes closed on the night was Clarkes sleeping face and he thought to himself. Damn, she is beautiful.
He dreamt. When he dreamt, he dreamt of none other than Clarke, his princess. Yes, Finn may have started that nickname, but only Bellamy, and him alone, owned it. He was proud of that fact. He dreamt of how she killed Atom, when he couldn’t. He saw how she had dealt with the problems facing them. Most of all, he dreamt of how devastated she was when they found Finn, and how he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. The subconscious really comes to life when you're dreaming.
Bellamy woke up before dawn. He really hadn't meant to sleep as long long as he did. He wanted to give Murphy a chance to rest up too, but his body disobeyed him. All was still quiet. The next thing he realized was he had a weight on his chest. Clarke had somehow managed to move during the night and was now sleeping on him. Her head was on his chest, her arms sprawled over him. He looked down at the blonde head, not wanting to remove her quite yet. He just wanted to somehow savor the moment he had woken to. It didn't last long. She must have somehow felt his gaze on her, again, and she, too, woke. To his surprise she didn't move when she found herself on him, she just looked up at him, somehow looking straight into his eyes, straight into his soul. “Did you sleep well, Princess?,” He whispered, somehow managing to speak without stuttering.
She smiled shyly, “Yes, thanks to you. I thought that you’d be a good pillow, and I was right.”
Bellamy smiled a little.
“So you knew you were sleeping on me?,” He managed to reply. She just nodded in reply, blushing slightly. She moved off of him slowly, rising to her elbow next to him. He suddenly missed the weight on his chest and warmth of her body pressed to him. The talking must have disturbed Octavia, because she was also now awake. Murphy was stirring near the base of the tree where Finn was, too. “We need to start moving. We have to get back to camp and somehow manage to get back out to find the rest of our people,” Bellamy announced. “And Lincoln,” He emphasised toward Octavia. She smiled to him. “Good.”
They walked the rest of the way to Camp Jaha. Finn, leashed to Murphy, at the head of the pack. Murphy behind him gun raised, just in case. Finn hadn’t said anything since the shooting in Lincoln’s village. He just kept looking over to Clarke. Never once had she returned the look. She was actively ignoring him, Bellamy thought to himself. When they got to the camp they explained what they had witnessed to Chancellor Griffin and she had no choice but to lock him up in solitary confinement. No one who had witnessed the events objected. Raven, on the other hand, had needed a little more convincing. Clarke did that well enough.
After all was settled, and Abby had told them that Finn would be getting a psych evaluation, she had the Guard show them where they could sleep. After it all was explained, she didn't even get angry. She knew that Finn had to be stopped. He had already caused great devastation and she knew that it was already going to harm the peace treaty, if there was one in the process anyway. She also knew that he had to be locked up until Kane got back to really know what they had to do with them in the terms of the treaty. Every action has a consequence including this one.
Bellamy was taken to the yard. Several tents had been resurrected there. The guard showed him a tent that was clearly meant for him. Clarke and Octavia were sleeping in the fallen Ark Station, where many rooms had been repurposed into sleeping areas.
It had taken hours to explain the situation to the council which had only taken a few minutes to actually happen in real time. How they had walked to find Finn and Murphy in Lincoln’s village. How they heard gunshots from a mile away and started running. The scene they stumbled upon when they finally reached the source of the shooting. Then it had taken the rest of the day to plan out every detail of another scouting group to Mount Weather. Abby had finally seen how Clarke was not longer a kid, and agreed to let the three of them go back out into the forest and scout the area. Thats all they had permission to do. They were given strict orders to not be seen, heard or cause any disruption that would let their position be known. They were also given express orders to rest before the trip, because what use would any of them be without any real sleep or rest. They all agreed to the terms. They were reasonable enough.
Bellamy had just laid down on the makeshift bed that had been made up for him when he heard a tapping at the door. “Yes?,” He questioned. Not surprising to him Octavia whisked open the cloth door and strode in. She stopped at the end of the bed and looked at him. There was a strange look on her face and a slight smile on the corner of her lips. “Spill, Bellamy Blake. Tell me right now and I will leave you alone.” The words came out abruptly and they left him flabbergasted. “What are you talking about now, O? I need to sleep, and so do you, if we want to leave by dawn.” She sighed loudly. “I am talking about Clarke, Bellamy. When did you develop feelings for her?,” He quickly sat straight up in the bed.
“Ssshhhh, Octavia. Do you want the whole camp to hear you?,” He whispered, the anger in his tone clearly conveyed. “Well, if that gets me my answer faster, then, yes. I want the whole camp to hear me.” She said confidently but a little quieter, making him see that she would also whisper if he gave her what she wanted. “Okay, okay.” He sighed, scooting over on the bed and patting beside him. “I didn't really want to talk to anyone about it but-” She cut him off suddenly, anger coursing through her voice, “I am your sister, Bell. I need to know everything.”
He just rolled his eyes and continued. “I don't know myself, O. When she came back, something changed. She wasn't just a spoiled brat that I thought she was. Hell, she never has been. But when we hugged, something changed. Fuck, I don’t know.” His voice died out and silence fell between them. “Do you have feelings for her?,” She asked. He stayed silent for a moment, thinking about how to answer the question that her knew she had been dying to ask since she heard the sigh he had released after Clarke hugged him. “Honestly, O. I have been thinking a lot since we reunited with her, and honestly, I think I started caring for her a long time ago, just didn't notice it, till a little while ago. I just don’t know.”
He found himself looking at the dirt covered ground within the tent, not managing to look her in the eye. “When are you going to tell her?,” Octavia drawled. He laughed. “She has been through so much since the last time I saw her. And even more since we reunited. Fuck, O, she is in love with a psychopath. I am not planning on telling her at all.” He responded dismissively. This time, she laughed, a smile that reached almost to her eyes. “Bell. She may have thought she loved him at one time, but she has to be a fool if she thinks she was now. Even I can see that wasn't the truth. Who has she been through more with? I mean besides the physical aspect?,” She bantered.
“Who has she got more in common with? Who does she have an unbelievable bond with? You or Finn?,” She clearly wanted him to answer this question because she stopped and waited this time without continuing. He just shrugged. He didn't answer and she then continued. “Who did she lead with? Who did she look to to help with all the decisions with all the so called delinquents? Who did she forgive for trying to execute the Chancellor of the Ark? Who the fuck did she hug so much tighter and longer than any other at any other time, ever?,” She stopped again and waited. “Okay, okay. I get it. Do you really think any of those things are substantial?,” He clearly wanted to hear her response before he answered the questions before him. “Of course, Bell. I have seen it in both of your eyes for some time now. Even before she shut the dropship doors. Even before the threat of the Grounders invasion. I saw the relief in her eyes that she didn't kill you. When she asked of Finn, I didn't see the same reaction that I saw with you. It was different. I just wish you both would realize it. I want you to see it. And when you see how she looks at you, when you notice the way you look at her, I want you to promise me you will find a way to tell her,” She finished. He stared at her in disbelief. “Well, I don't see it, Octavia,” He lied. “But if I do. I promise I will tell her, after I figure it out, myself. Now will you let me sleep so I we can rescue our friends?” She obliged and exited his tent.