Work Text:
dream meme team supreme (& iwachan)
sugoi: so
sugoi: did i in fact see @strawbs and @isgei holding hands yesterday
sugoi: and perchance were they
sugoi: on a date???
sugoi: bc it really looked like a date!!!
zuzumi: leave them alone
sugoi: im just curious
zuzumi: it’s never ‘just’ anything with you
strawbs: yeah u might have
strawbs: we’re dating now
sugoi: !!!!!
sugoi: and u didn’t tell us!?!?!?
koiwaa: yeah what the fuck????
isgei: i love how casually u say that
isgei: oh yeah were dating
isgei: like asking u out wasnt insanely hard for me to do
strawbs: that is entirely ur problem
zuzumi: congrats
koiwaa: are you not mad that they didnt tell us???
zuzumi: as long they don’t fuck in the kitchen again, I couldn’t give less of a shit
koiwaa: im sorry what the fuck????
strawbs: i have no idea what ur talking about
sugoi: u really thought u were being slick didnt u
isgei: deadass no idea what ur on about
sugoi: U REALLY FUCKIN THOUGHT OMG
sugoi: OMFG UR KIDDING ME
sugoi: U REALLY THOUGHT NO ONE KNEW????
koiwaa: wait what the fuck is going on
sugoi: ur party a couple weeks back
sugoi: they got frisky
sugoi: right in front of everyone
sugoi: and apparently they thought nobody knew
strawbs: i'm no longer dating matsukawa
strawbs: because he’s about to be deceased
isgei: this is not my fault
strawbs: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AND ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT
strawbs: IT WAS YOUR FUCKING IDEA
koiwaa: i cannot BELIEVE
koiwaa: u would do that in MY kitchen
koiwaa: DISGUSTING
strawbs: matsukawa issei where the FUCK are u i'm going to KILL YOU
isgei: real talk how did u know
sugoi: dear makki is not good at hiding the o face
sugoi: although tbf idk if anyone is
zuzumi: the jizz all over his shirt was the big clue
sugoi: oh yeah i think most people saw that while u were making him put ur sweatshirt on
sugoi: also yaku told noya about it and noya told asahi and asahi told me bc he didnt know if i already knew
sugoi: so they all know too
zuzumi: I don’t think Bokuto knows unless someone’s told him
sugoi: yeah probably not
sugoi: also akaashi for that matter
sugoi: like usually he’s super observant but he was pretty focused on Bokuto so idk
sugoi: also u should probably apologise to yaku he’s scarred for life
sugoi: absolutely traumatised
sugoi: and so are me and hajime
sugoi: i have to live the rest of my life knowing what makki looks like when he nuts and honestly i think i deserve compensation
isgei: in my defence
isgei: ur bathroom is too small to fuck in
zuzumi: Bokuto and Akaashi managed
sugoi: daichi and tetsu probably would have managed too if daichi was capable of holding his soju lmao
zuzumi: fucking lightweight
koiwaa: i spent so fucking long cleaning that bathroom
koiwaa: with a fucking hangover too
zuzumi: and I had to clean the kitchen so who had it worse
koiwaa: ME
koiwaa: AT LEAST MAKKI AND MATTSUN DIDNT SPREAD THEIR SHIT EVERYWHERE!
koiwaa: KOUCHAN AND KEICHAN TRIED TO CLEAN UP BUT THEY WERE NOT!! GREAT!!
zuzumi: yeah alright I’ll give you that
koiwaa: also
koiwaa: why did neither of u tell me about it
sugoi: when would u have liked us to mention it
sugoi: casually over breakfast?
sugoi: wow eggs are great tooru btw makki and mattsun fucked in the kitchen thought u oughta know
koiwaa: askfaskhfglksdhf I MEAN
koiwaa: u could have said SOMETHING
sugoi: anyway speaking of makki
sugoi: he’s been awfully quiet
strawbs: i'm never speaking to any of u again
isgei: if its any consolation to anyone
isgei: its not the weirdest place weve fucked
isgei: i think the library was the weirdest
strawbs: matsukawa i am literally begging u to shut the fuck up
strawbs: AND ANYWAY
strawbs: AGAIN
strawbs: THAT WAS YOUR IDEA
isgei: i never said it was bad
isgei: just that it was weird
zuzumi: please tell me what floor so I can never go there again
isgei: fifth
isgei: reference section near the back
strawbs: u think i’m joking
strawbs: i'm legit breaking up with u
zuzumi: condolences
strawbs: i’m killing u next