Actions

Work Header

Déjà Vu

Summary:

He still felt like he was missing a piece to this puzzle, but all he knew was that without Osamu, and without his team, he’d be, well... a scrub. 
Atsumu grunts in his place, and he doesn’t care if Osamu thinks he’s crazy. Thinking about volleyball comes much easier than this phrase.

[In which Atsumu reflects on the meaning of 'who needs the memories?' throughout different parts of his life]

Notes:

this is inspired by ch390(?) when atsumu is reflecting on Inarizaki's banner. Tbh this is a bit of a self projection because I was pretty confused with what he meant there, but after a bit of re-reading, I hope I could at least come close hahaha

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Atsumu is a reckless massive fire pushing forward against all opposition. He started small, as a child learning volleyball with his twin. Even from such an early age, an unquenchable spark was lit that would define the rest of his life. 

And that fire kept feeding and feeding with each volleyball workshop he and Osamu attended. With each new skill he learned, Atsumu could never be satisfied. There was so much more he was capable of, and he knew it.

He sold his soul to this sport, and poured his whole being into it. Every set he made was sent to the spiker with his best effort each time. 

Each set said to his spikers, “I gave ya my 100%, now give me yours.” 

A phrase that is so selfless, yet so cruel. But Atsumu doesn’t realize that not everyone is like him. Maybe he’s not good with words, or maybe he just doesn’t care. 

Either way, that selfless phrase translates to “people who can’t hit my tosses are nothing but scrubs.” 

Naturally, his teammates mistook his drive as arrogance, and shunned him from their company. 

But it didn’t matter to him, whether or not his teammates hated him.  He didn’t need anyone else except Osamu. He was his other half - literally, I mean they both came from the same cell. When Atsumu would have otherwise been completely cast out, ‘Samu’s existence was his greatest blessing. 

Not that he’d ever admit it.

While others stopped trying to tend to his fire, Osamu was there alone, fueling the fire, expanding its territory.

The fire continued to expand, until finally, they had graduated junior high, and left behind its tasteless memories. 

How fitting it was that their new school’s motto was all about leaving memories behind.

Inarizaki Boys’ Volleyball Club became a second family to the twins. His teammates accept him, yet aren’t afraid to call him out when it’s needed. With Osamu and his new teammates by his side, his fire is able to burn brighter than ever before. Atsumu continues on his quest for power, and his flame accumulates as he becomes the fearsome dual-wielder.

However his hunger for more power was also their downfall. In his second year, in their first game at nationals - a game they should have won, Atsumu learned what it meant to fail. 

The second top school had lost in its first game in the second round.

He remembers Osamu remarking that they had probably played around too much. He agrees. Copying the freak quick was something he had done on a whim, to try and apply pressure to this upstart team of crows.

However, Atsumu wasn’t in his natural element. His flames had tried to devour the essence of this new quick, but like a match doused in water, it ended up becoming their loss.

His school’s banner had always declared “Who needs the memories?” so boldly at each game Inarizaki dominated. He remembers the way those words mocked him as their team lined up for their cheer squad. 

He couldn’t understand what it was at the time, but he had realized that there was something more behind those words than he originally thought. 


Their second year at Inarizaki ends all too quickly as his reliable senpai pass the torch to the new third years. Atsumu and Osamu take the reigns as their team’s new captain and vice-captain. Atsumu likes to hold it over Osamu’s head, but he knows that Osamu has more on his mind than just volleyball now.

The day Osamu had told him he had made up his mind to quit volleyball and pursue a cuisine career, Atsumu realized just how little time he had left with his brother. As someone who prided himself on not needing nostalgia, the thought of playing volleyball without ‘Samu by his side was kept locked away in his mind. 

But Osamu had made up his mind, and just like Atsumu, he had his own flame to fuel.

So Atsumu did what Osamu had always done for him. He hadn’t accepted Osamu’s decision at first, but deep down, he’d always known that the fire Osamu had wasn't burning for volleyball. 

He stuck by Osamu’s side, and chased away the scoffers who berated ‘Samu for ‘throwing away his talents’. In his time of loneliness, his brother had never left him, and Atsumu would never do that now - no matter how much he wanted to change his mind.

Together, the Miya twins led their team to victory after victory, and each time Atsumu hopelessly longed for Osamu to change his mind. When Inarizaki had pulled out the win in their rematch with Karasuno, Osamu had been so pumped, so excited, that Atsumu thought if that wasn’t enough to change his mind, nothing would. 

But in this victory against Karasuno, Atsumu knows nothing can keep the Miya twins apart for long, not even their dreams. 

Lining up once again for their cheer squad, Atsumu thinks back to his second year, and gets a sense of déjà vu. The phrase on this proud banner sticks out to him once more.

“Who needs the memories?” 

Atsumu glances to his brother and then back to that phrase. He still felt like he was missing a piece to this puzzle, but all he knew was that without Osamu, and without his team, he’d be, well...

A scrub. 

It’s not like he’s the sentimental type to dwell in nostalgia, but it’s not like he wants to throw away the friendships he’s made or all the good times they’ve shared.

Atsumu grunts in his place, and he doesn’t care if Osamu thinks he’s crazy. Thinking about volleyball comes much easier than this phrase.


Graduation comes not long after that day, and the graduated third years say farewell to their remaining team. Their ex-upperclassmen have all attended their ceremony as well, and take the new graduates out to celebrate. The restaurant they’d chosen was a hole-in-the-wall ramen place nearby. It was the team’s go-to place to celebrate right after they’d won a match, and Atsumu wills himself not to dwell on the memories because c’mon, it hasn’t even been a day since he’d graduated .  

Scary stories of unemployment and failed exams are shared from the older boys, and Omimi has to make them stop because it’s too early for the graduates to drop out of college just yet. Suna and Gin retell the trivial fights that the twins have had on-and-off the court, and Aran scolds them for being such a bad influence to the team.

At this point, it feels as if it is still second year, a year free from the uncertainty of future prospects. 

As if he read his mind, Kita tells his former team that he “couldn’t be any prouder.”

There’s a sense of déjà vu once more, and Atsumu and Osamu promise their beloved ex-captain that “he ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

And it's true.

As Atsumu and Osamu pursue their separate ambitions, the different obstacles they face are not enough to quench their passion. Not that it was ever easy persevering through those obstacles.

Osamu goes to college for business, and Atsumu decides to go pro right away.

Once again, Atsumu starts from the bottom rung of the ladder. Nationals in highschool was one thing, but the pro-volleyball league was on a whole other level.

He has to get used to being the average guy on his team. In Inarizaki, he had proven himself and earned the right to demand the best from his spikers. But this is new territory for him, and he hasn't proven himself yet.

So he works harder and harder, not just to improve, but because his fire to consume everything there is to volleyball needs to be fed. To get stronger, Atsumu risks losing his powerful serves to add a third weapon to his arsenal - just because he thinks it's cool.

[Osamu thinks he's crazy for that, but Atsumu could totally argue the same thing about Osamu]

He still wasn't completely sure what "memories" entails, but he could not rest knowing that there was a new way for him to get stronger.

It’s not until he’s playing with his buddies on the MSBY Black Jackals when he feels like he’s finally getting the meaning behind that phrase. A team of monsters that will give him their all, just as he does for every toss he brings them - what more could a guy ask for?

This physical confrontation of the monster generation has awoken a mental realization.

His desire to grow and to power up, hasn’t dwindled at all, but Atsumu knows he wouldn’t be where he is today without the many strenuous practices embedded in his muscles. As his highschool captain said before, he is made of the little things that he’s done consistently every day. 

He realizes that memories are more than just nostalgia, and that his spark would’ve died out long ago if not for the help of his brother, and the teammates who’d cared about him so much. The impact they had made on him while they were together had shaped him into who he was, even after they had gone separate paths.

Just because those times were past, it didn't mean they were any less important.

But at the same time, there is no such thing as memories in volleyball - this amazing sport that continues to evolve. But right now, as Atsumu unleashes his newest serve, all the memories he needs are in his muscles.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! If you have any suggestions or you just wanna say hi, feel free to read a comment. I really wanna write one for Osamu next, but it's midterm szn so we'll see