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It's winter in South Carolina, which means cold. Especially in Fox Tower, which is, for some reason, never warm enough. For Neil, the weather obviously isn't a problem. He still gets up and runs at least twice a day, although the clothes he wears are much warmer than before. Of course, it helps that Neil's injuries were always only skin deep.
Andrew, on the other hand, is miserable. Winter at PSU is hell. Spending much of his life in California, where the climate is always mild already puts him at a disadvantage, but that isn't the real problem.
Part of it is inherited, he knows that. Even though he didn't know her long, Andrew remembers that Tilda was always more prone to anger in the winter because her knees and fingers would ache with the cold. Those feelings are nothing new to him either. For as long as he can remember, Andrew's knees have hurt when the weather gets colder. It also doesn't help that he plays a full contact sport, which gets him hurt sometimes even as a goalie.
Andrew knows there's a name for the pain he feels in his knees, but he can't ever seem to care enough to remember what it is.
Most days are fine anyway. It's only when winter comes around and the chill seeps into his bones that the ache returns. Of course, even then, some days are better than others.
He wakes up one morning in late November, feels Neil's heartbeat under his head as Andrew lays on his chest, and he Knows. Today is a Bad Day. The ache in his knees isn't all the way present yet, but it will be soon.
Andrew curls himself closer to Neil and tries not to think about the practice they have schedule for the evening. Neil stirs sleepily, and he slowly opens his eyes. Andrew looks over at him to see a dopey smile appear on his face.
"Junkie," he scoffs affectionately.
"Yes or no?" is all Neil replies with.
Andrew nods his head, yes, and Neil pushes himself up to kiss him. It's soft and slow, and it almost makes the pain in his joints disappear. Almost.
He shifts, and the pain sharpens into glaring focus, shooting spikes out from his right knee. Andrew winces, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Neil. Damn.
"You okay?" Neil asks quietly. He's already started pulling away from Andrew, afraid of hurting him more when he doesn't know what's wrong.
Andrew doesn't know quite what to say yet, so he just huffs and pulls Neil back into his arms. There's no intense trauma associated with this pain, no reason for him to push Neil away, although he doesn't really push him away at all anymore. He's going soft.
Hiding his face in Neil's neck, he mumbles, "My knees hurt."
At first, he isn't sure that Neil hears him. But then, Neil pulls away from his arms and moves down the bed. He stops with his head near Andrew's knees and asks, "Yes or no?"
Andrew whispers an almost-silent yes, and Neil leans down, brushing barely-there kisses against his knees. He knows his face is unbelievably soft, but no one is there except for Neil, so he doesn't mind it.
Eventually, Neil brings his hands up and starts gently rubbing Andrew's knees, just enough to release some of the tension there. Andrew sighs, and Neil looks up, smiling softly. He presses one more kiss to Andrew's right knee (how he knows which one is bothering him more, Andrew has no idea) and moves back up to hover over Andrew's face.
Neil leans down slowly, a yes or no whispered against his lips, waiting for Andrew's nod before closing the gap between them again. The kisses are just as soft as before, something that Andrew appreciates immensely.
Eventually though, they have to get up. Both of them get dressed for class, and Neil watches a little more carefully than normal as Andrew takes extra time putting himself together because the ache is worse the more he stands but moving hurts just as bad.
Neil looks like he's going to tell Andrew to stay home today, but he decides against it, moving into their small kitchen to make them both coffee and waffles (they had made a double batch the weekend before and shoved the leftovers in the freezer for mornings just like this).
After breakfast, Andrew leaves the dorm for class, and the cold sinks deeper into his bones. Maybe it would have been a good idea to put his knee braces on today, but he's too far from the dorm to turn back now, so he just keeps walking.
Practice that afternoon is when it all goes bad. Running laps? It makes the pain worse, but it's still within the realm of bearable. Standing in the goal for the rest of practice? Still not really a big deal, it's about as bad as the laps were. Overextending himself to block Kevin's shot? Big mistake.
Andrew falls to the ground as his knee seizes up, unable to stop himself from whimpering a little bit. He rocks himself back and forth on the ground, gritting his teeth, waiting for the pain to die down.
Neil is at his side in seconds, hands hovering but not touching. Yes or no, he asks, always respectful of Andrew's boundaries. He nods a yes, trying to rock himself closer to Neil, although it isn't working.
Neil pulls Andrew into his lap, moving them against the plexiglass wall and setting their rackets aside before turning his attention back to Andrew.
"Andrew, baby, is it your knee?" He asks softly. Andrew whimpers again in response, hating being so vulnerable in front of the other foxes but unable to control his reaction.
Neil holds him for another minute, before standing up, still holding Andrew in his arms. The other foxes have almost entirely moved on at this point, but Andrew sees Kevin looking back at them as they leave the court. They head to the locker room, Neil signaling Wymack so he knows where they are before letting the doors swing shut behind them.
When they get there, Neil sets him down on a bench and starts removing Andrew's gear, always moving slowly so he has time to say stop. Once Andrew is back in his shirt and pants, Neil strips himself out of his gear, not bothering to change his own clothes. Neil doesn't say anything, and Andrew doesn't either, aside from the occasional small noise of discomfort.
They make their way out to the car, back to Fox Tower, and back to their rooms. Once there, Neil finally stops.
"Bath, yes or no?" He asks, turning to face Andrew, who is laying on the bed.
Andrew nods his head, and Neil steps into their shared bathroom to start the water in the tub. Once that's done, Neil reemerges.
"Can I come in with you?" Neil asks hesitantly.
It's not a boundary, but it isn't something they do often either. Andrew thinks for a moment this time before nodding again.
"Clothes, yes or no?"
"Yes," Andrew says, and Neil crosses the remainder of the space between them to pull Andrew's shirt over his head. Neil helps him get undressed the rest of the way, and then quickly undresses himself.
At this point, the tub is full, so Neil leads him over to the steaming water, settling in so that Andrew can rest between his legs in the small tub. For a while, they sit there in the warm water, relaxing, letting Andrew's knees recover from the pain. Eventually, Andrew turns to cuddle into Neil's chest, whispering a soft thank you to the other boy before returning to the silence.
Before the water gets cold, Neil washes Andrew's hair (with permission, of course), and gently scrubs the rest of his body with a small loofah. They lay back again after, content to sit until the water cools and their fingertips prune.
When they get out of the bath, Neil helps Andrew into pajamas and settles him into their shared bed, but then he disappears into the kitchen. Andrew waits, and when Neil reappears, he's carrying a small, microwavable heat pad and his laptop.
Neil hands the warmed pad to Andrew, who settles it around his knees, and queues up Netflix on the laptop. They curl together on the bed, watching a movie until they get tired.
When that happens, Neil gets up again to reheat the pad in the microwave for Andrew, and then they lay down together.
For a bad day, it was pretty alright, Andrew thinks, just before he drifts off to sleep. He knows how lucky he is to have Neil, but it can wait to be said until the next morning.
