Chapter Text
Nobody saw it coming. And the storm came with a great bang.
Edward’s heart was torn in every possible way and he couldn't get those images out of his head. Deep down he knew Bella was going through a hard time, but he didn't think it was that bad. She left everyone without a word of explanation, then came back completely changed. He had never seen such aggression and anger in her eyes before. Nobody could stop her, and she wouldn't listen to anyone. Even Renesmee was afraid of her behavior…
And then she had completely crossed the line when she attacked Jacob. He knew Jacob wasn’t without fault. For once, he should keep his mouth shut and not provoke her. But this whole situation was just too much, he didn't deserve what she did to him.
He took his Aston and drove slowly towards La Push. Until he finally found a figure marching in the darkness. He stopped the car and got out.
"Jacob!" He shouted louder than he should have.
His human form didn’t surprise him. He was aware of why Jacob didn’t turn into a wolf to return home quicker. And that didn't comfort him at all. It got to the point that Jacob was hurt so badly that he refused to show it to his pack members. He was suffering emotionally and he didn’t want to share his controversial thoughts, it was exhausting enough that Edward knew about them. Therefore, he preferred not to turn into a wolf.
Jacob turned for a moment, clearly annoyed.
"What do you want, Edward? I'm clearly not in the mood. I have enough thrill for one day." He snorted annoyed.
Seeing Jacob’s face he felt even worse. There were still visible cuts across his cheek and neck. The rest of the wounds were covered with clothing, but he was aware that they had not yet fully healed.
"I know that, but can you just get in the car? We need to talk."
Edward opened the door for Jacob and got into the car himself.
"Listen, this is really not the best moment, I've already heard a lot about myself today. " He replied with a touch of slight sarcasm.
But seeing that the vampire has no intention of letting go, he reluctantly gets into the car.
"So you also want to tell me how bad I am?" he snorted softly staring at the windshield.
"We'll talk about a few things. But we have to get out of here first." Edward replied, trying not to let his voice reveal his emotions. "In the meantime, you can tell me about what happened last night," he whispered softly and started the car. Changing the subject seemed like a good idea.
"You know what, you could have chosen a better time to kidnap me." Jacob sighed and shook his head.
"Kidnapping ..." vampire laughed softly. "I wouldn't call it a kidnapping…"
The image outside the window was changing slowly as they had already left Forks.
"As for last night. Nothing happened. I met an old friend and we had a little chat, that's all. Anything else you want to know?"
"So this friend is not causing you any problems?" Edward asked in a faded voice.
"No, why would he cause any problems? It was a regular meeting ..." Jacob replied evasively.
Edward was not satisfied with this answer. He didn't want to impose himself, but he was worried about Jacob. However, he could not force him to accept his help.
"Whatever, Jacob. But sometimes you forget that I can read minds." He whispered while rolling his eyes. But that wasn't his biggest concern either.
"Well, I guess I forgot about that," he said slightly embarrassed.
"Don't worry, I won't mention it anymore unless you'll need help with this later."
When he felt they were far enough, he pulled up in some parking lot just outside Port Angeles.
Jacob's muscles tightened automatically.
"If you kill me now, I will literally kill you."
"Oh, to kill you Jacob… is a pretty good idea" Edward laughed darkly. "But before I do that ... Today's events gave me a lot to think about."
Jacob sighed deeply. Edward's seriousness in a way worried him. He wanted to forget today's events, but at the same time, he needed to know Edward's thoughts.
"I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do... What is right and what is wrong… because they are not saints themselves. I know that perfectly well. But blaming me for all of this. It's hard to handle."
"You know what I think about this." Jacob laughed.
They can go and fuck themselves. Especially her….
"They act like animals, and they dare to call me one. A bunch of hypocrites. At least I am honest."
Edward smiled sadly. He had to say it finally.
"I understand what you're saying. But what bothers me the most… are your thoughts. When you're around… I Constantly can feel your eyes on me. And it's hard for me to ignore you because your fantasies are literally screaming… It feels like all boundaries are already blurring. I mean, everyone knows what you are up to by now. Why is this happening? "
"It's hard for me to answer this question." Jacob sighed heavily. He was aware that this conversation had to take place sooner or later. "I don't choose what I think or feel, it just happens."
"I partially understand it, but it is not right. It is dangerous. I'm not even sure what to do about this anymore…."
Jacob swallowed nervously. At the sound of these words, his thoughts drifted away again. He was afraid of what Edward might say. Or worse, he would forbid him from getting close to him and the entire Cullen family.
Of course... What did I expect from this ride… You'll only get hurt even more.
"Jacob… you're not helping me. Although, in fact, nothing helps me. The behavior of my family. I constantly want to do something to piss them off even more… No one is even aware of how angry I am right now. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just wanted to keep my balance. But instead, I only feel under attack. And to be honest I'm exhausted. " he whispered, unsure why he was confiding at all.
"I am sorry to hear it. I didn't want you to feel like this."
Edward's mouth curved slightly into a smile. Maybe that was it. He needed someone to talk honestly to without fear of being judged. Someone he could count on. And Jacob was the person who gave him this. Just like that, selflessly.
"I know. Honestly, lately, only your optimism and warmth cheered me up…" he said before he could stop himself. But then he stopped, realized he might have said too much.
An uncontrollable smirk appeared on Jacob's face. He hadn’t expected this. Hope bloomed again in his heart. But then he noticed the vampire froze motionlessly.
"Edward?" He whispered, grabbing his arm lightly.
However, Edward didn't react for a moment as his thoughts were far away. He was considering so many things at once. Pure chaos reigned in his head. Plus all of Jacob's thoughts. He had to find out for himself what was going on. There should be nothing wrong with that.
Edward's gaze returned to reality as he stared curiously at Jacob. He gently brushed Jacob's thigh with his fingers.
"I know perfectly well what you are thinking now, I can hear your heart beating and the blood pulsating in your veins. I know how dangerous thoughts can be, and they can be very contagious. So this thing between us should end sooner than later… Because in the end, I won't be able to give you what you want... "
Jacob wanted to say something, but Edward's gaze and hand stopped him.
"…And you want me to come closer because you like my touch."
Edward began to bend slowly over Jacob's seat, carefully studying his reaction. This strange magnetic aura began to irrevocably surround them, and they couldn't break free.
"You like my cool breath on your skin... You wonder how my tongue could taste. You are so tempted by my mere presence that it is unbearable…"
The vampire was on the brink of sanity. He wasn't sure what was driving him anymore. It was extremely dangerous and inappropriate, but inexplicably it excited him even more. He was curious and desperate to feel what Jacob was feeling.
He rested one hand on Jacob's thigh, and then unceremoniously placed a kiss on his lips.
Jacob's heartbeat sped up drastically, he automatically put his hand on Edward's to hold it in place and kissed him back.
Subconsciously, he knew that the vampire was most likely not taking it seriously. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity for the kiss he dreamed of.
With that one kiss, Edward became even more curious about how far it could go. He grabbed Jacob's hair with his free hand and pulled him away from a little bit.
"Was it as good as you imagined it?" he whispered brushing Jacob's earlobe with his lips. "Do you want more?"
Edward's voice made Jacob shiver uncontrollably. But he didn't wait for an answer.
Vampire's hand began to slowly move higher and higher over his thigh. His tongue began tracing the line of Jacob's jaw. And then he found his way back to his hot mouth again.
The position they sat in and the design of the car was making it difficult for their bodies to get closer. But no one complained.
When Jacob's hand went too far, Edward automatically pulled away. He wasn't angry, but he had to stop it.
"Now you don't have to imagine it anymore, because you know what it tastes like, is it enough for you? " Vampire whispered and his voice was smooth as silk.
Jacob was speechless for a moment. His eyes were still glowing in the dark and his cheeks were flushed pink.
"It didn't really help me stop thinking about it. On the contrary, I will think about it even more…" His mouth twitched into a cheeky grin, and his eyes scanned the vampire's face.
"Sorry, you called the wolf out of the forest." He smiled with a shrug. "But on second thought, I'm not sorry at all," he added, unconsciously biting his lower lip.
"Not good." Edward sighed as he moved away from Jacob. " 'Cause you see, we can never be together. This is wrong on so many levels. And what you want from me, is unrealistic to achieve. I was hoping you would eventually see it…"
Jacob's body fell limp against the seatback, and he gently tilted his head back, but Edward didn’t stop.
"You can get it from anyone else, you certainly wouldn't have a problem finding someone else. Someone good for you. I would like to be your friend, not a fantasy. And you can hate me now, honestly, it would be even better for both of us. I don't want to disturb this peace that reigns. I don't want our relationship to separate you from others and make you feel lonely…."
Edward didn't know what to say anymore. He had never been in this position before.
"Sooner or later I would do something wrong and you would hate me even more. Because in fact, and I know it's hard to believe, but I'm not perfect. And with my twisted personality, I only hurt people I care about. I want to stop it before it's too late. At least you won't regret it now…"
At this point, they were both equally confused. Edward should just shut up.
"Yeah, maybe you are right," Jacob answered blankly.
"Please take it." He said pulling from the clipboard three white pills. "I'll drive you home."
"So what? Now you also want to drug me?" A soft chuckle slipped through his mouth. But then he took pills without protest and placed them on his tongue.
"Don't worry, these are just sleeping pills. After today's events, you need some rest. And I didn't want you to jump out of the car by accident…"
Jacob just rolled his eye and swallowed pills. Then leaned back against the seat, closing his eyes.
"Do you always just carry a whole set of pills with you? "
"Just in case…."
"I don't want to say anything, but it's very disturbing ..."
Edward just laughed briefly and started the car.
There was complete silence as they left the parking lot. Edward tried to focus on driving though he didn't have to, and Jacob focused on recreating in his mind what had happened between them. However, with every minute his thoughts darted and faded more and more.
When they got to Jacob's house, he was completely unconscious. Without much trouble, Edward pulled him out of the car and carried him into the bedroom, laying him gently on the bed. He covered him with a sheet and for a moment studied his body in blissful sleep.
He couldn't understand what was driving him, why he couldn't just get away from him. In the past, it was easier for him to ignore such things. But things have changed. He had no idea what would happen tomorrow. He had no idea what he would find at home. He just wanted to stay in this blissful unawareness for a moment longer. The past seemed to be hazy. The future didn’t seem to exist. And the present was completely fucked up.