Chapter Text
“What am I to you, Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying’s voice is tinged with quiet desperation, his gray eyes silver in the moonlight.
Lan Zhan remains silent, his words trapped in his mind, an urgency in his golden eyes. As Wei Ying prepares to depart, a strong hand reaches out to grasp his wrist.
Frustration swirls amidst his distress, “Words, Lan Zhan, I can’t read your mind, time is running out, I have to go soon.”
Despair drips from his plea, “Don’t go, stay.”
“Sadly, I don’t have the luxury of choice, someday, but not tonight.” Wei Ying rolls the dice, takes a risk, plays his hand, whatever cliche phrase fits the scene, he steps into Lan Zhan’s personal space to gently press his lips to the other boy’s soft pink mouth. Their bodies gravitate closer, press together, seeking the heat simmering beneath the moment. Wei Ying sighs as he breaks the connection, gasping for air.
Finding an answer, he whispers, “My soulmate.” Lan Zhan’s white knuckled fists grip Wei Ying’s faded t-shirt, he rests his forehead against his friend’s, “Come back. Promise me. I will wait.” Reluctant acceptance replaces his hope, he understands feeling powerless.
Drowning in pools of gold glistening under the moon, Wei Ying pledges his young heart, “I promise, one day I will return to you.”
Lan Zhan’s stubborn side rares its head, “Not one day, before our twenty-first birthday, no more than five years, Wei Ying.”
“Even if I cross the line? I will do whatever is necessary to survive. Will you still want me when I’m tarnished by darkness, no longer shiny and new?” A light flashes in the distance, Wei Ying’s signal to hurry.
“No matter what, Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s tenacious hold tightens with his words.
“Mark your words, Lan Zhan, wait for me, no matter what,” Wei Ying steals one last kiss, his heart breaking with the anguish of being denied his first love.
Lan Zhan remains, a beautiful marble statue, helplessly watching the best part of his life disappear into the shadows. He lacks the will to fill his lungs with air, to move his feet, to return to a world without the sun. So he stays under the moon, allowing hate to flow through his veins, hate for those who created this impossibly unfair situation. Hate for his own dependency, held captive by his youth and birthright, bound by the suffocating chains of familial expectations. Hate for the life others imagine for him, a path already carefully mapped out before him, with no consideration for his wishes.
In spite of his agony, the hands on the clock continue to move, eventually he seeks the sanctuary of his bed. When morning demands acknowledgement, a different Lan Zhan emerges from his dorm room, a soul protected by a thick wall of ice, his heart packed away until its owner arrives to claim it. The words and actions of others cannot touch him, he learns to utilize the etiquette forced upon him as a weapon, leaving no room for criticism.
Time travels at a leisurely pace, most people forget Lan Zhan has ever been anything but stoic, aloof, and cold. He alone comprehends that his icy prison will persist with the absence of the sun.
So he lives his life, putting one foot in front of the other, waiting. Always waiting.