Archive of Our Own

Ko Shinwon is dying. His heart rate too slow, his breaths shallow and lingering. His vision is fading, blurry from the tears that have been slowly sliding down the side of his paling face. Ko Shinwon is dying, and he knows it.

The air tonight is cold, freezing really, and the same person that’s left him bleeding out on the trash bags in this dark alley where no one will ever be able to find him in time to save him has taken his expensive coat. If he could, he might have laughed at the situation. He never goes out, certainly not to bars where shady clientele hang around, but his ‘friends’ insisted he come out tonight and even though he had a strange feeling in his stomach - he agreed. He knew as he was putting that damn coat on that something not so great would happen that night, and now here he was - unable to feel his legs, his own blood all across the ground, and so many regrets bunched up inside his desperate heart. He is dying and there is no life flashing before his eyes because he didn’t live much of one. He’s an author, locked away in his apartment writing day in and day out, the small group of friends from high school occasionally coming around and making awkward conversation. Shinwon’s struggling rib cage makes a wet sound as blood spurts from his mouth, his eyes shutting tight in pain, and then spitefully opening once more.

“Pl- please.” His voice is barely more than a whisper, but the loudest he can manage. “Someone.” He tries again. “Someone help.” Tears run hot and fast down the sides of his cheeks, he tries with all his might to move his body but there’s nothing he can do. In one last plea, he gets it out.

“I don’t want to die.”

Ko Shinwon does die. He dies with no one to miss him or even know. He dies alone.

“You should have seen him.” A voice hisses, another answering quickly.

“You should have come to me before playing hero as if you’re not a monster like the rest of us.” The other’s tone is scary, intimidating and strong. There is a bout of tense silence and then the first speaks again.

“That’s what you say.”

“It’s what all say, and what we are.”

“Forget it. What are we going to do?” There’s shuffling, the sound of a door opening.

“ We !?” The scary one shouts again. “Hongseok, what have you found?”

“I don’t think anyone is going to look for this guy.” A new voice rings, sounding sweet despite its hurtful words. “He lived alone, no wife or any real friends. No one really knows him at all.”

“See? I’m not a complete fool.”

“You are a lucky fool.”

“Leader, what should we do with him?” The one called Hongseok asks. “We can still kill him again before he wakes.”

“No. There’s no point in that. Hyunggu’s sacrifice, although foolish-”

“It’s my choice!” The voice seemingly belonging to Hyunggu interrupts, and then there’s a loud sound like something crashing into stone, a yell of pain, more sounds like bones grating, and whimpers.

“Hyunggu, do you think it’s okay to talk to me that way?” More unnerving noise and screams. “Answer me, since you like to talk so much.”

“I am sorry, Coven Leader.” Hyunggu’s voice is reverent and submissive. “I have forgotten my place.” A sigh, more sounds of stone being moved, a few more whimpers.

“Drink.” A smell lingers in the room, overwhelming and dizzying.

“I’m okay.”

“I said - drink .” The scary voice hisses. There’s a sound of gulping, the smell gets stronger yet. “You know I don’t like having to use my status.” There is no reply. “If we want to continue living as we are, Hyunggu. We have to be more careful. I have to act like I’m expected to, and so do you.”

“Yes, Coven Leader.”

“Where is Wooseok?”

“He’s just outside waiting for instructions, Leader.” Hongseok answers him.

“Let him in.” A sound of a door opening once more and a strange presence enters, a feeling of a more meaningful person - similar to the scary voice, but different still.

“Do you need me?”

“Always,” a hint of a cheeky joke, a smile in the unusually intimidating tone.

“Yuto,” the new voice groans. Wooseok’s voice is deep, not as deep as Yuto’s. “Not now.”

“You never let me flirt in front of the others, love.”

“You’d never stop if I did.” A chuckle.

“True enough. Can you get more bags?” 

“We’re keeping him?”

“You’re letting him live?” Hyunggu’s voice pitches in.

A sigh. “Unfortunately for us, with all the problems this will cause, I am.”

“Thank you.” Hyunggu sounds excited then , like before, his tone dips back into submission. “Thank you, Coven Leader. I will not let this be a mistake. I will care for him myself.”

“Did you think you have a choice in that?”

“I -”

“Never mind, Seok, the bags? How many do we have left?” 

“Not enough to feed one that big, or that wounded.” Wooseok answers. “I don’t know that I’d be able to get enough to feed him until the end of The State.”

“You’re right.” Yuto sounds deep in thought. “Perhaps we’ll have to kill him after all.”

“ No! ” Hyunggu yells again. “I’ll feed him myself.”

“You’ve already given enough to him, don’t you think?” Yuto hisses once more, obviously not happy when Hyunggu’s outbursts come. “As if you haven’t given more for Wooseok.” Hyunggu does not back down this time.

“Is that what this is about?” Yuto’s tone sounds interesting, curious, almost that same cheeky tone from before.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“You know as well as I that Wooseok is different from some corpse you picked up from the trash in human’s territory.”

“I wonder when you started looking down on humans so much.” Hyunggu sounds sad.

“Must have been some time between finding out Wooseok was sold and finding his naked bloody form in the river.”

“Leader,” Hongseok interjects, probably more for Hyunggu’s sake than Yuto’s, “we should be going soon if we need to get more bags.”

“You want to keep him that bad?”

“I want him to live.” Hyunggu answers honestly, voice taut with conviction.

“Don’t let him out of this room until we return. I’ll send for Yan An to stand guard outside.”

“I can do it myself.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Yuto, we should go.” Wooseok to save him this time.

“Yes, Coven Leader.” Hyunggu replies, but it's laced with sarcasm. Sounds of multiple pairs of feet leaving, and a slamming of the door, the overwhelming presences are gone - and Shinwon finally opens his red eyes. 

Shinwon feels a searing terrible pain first, radiating from his throat and spreading all deep inside him. His mouth opens in a silent scream, body shaking, and he sits up from the stone slab he was resting on - clawing at his own neck like opening it will help.

“Stop!” A voice he heard before in his deep sleep calls out to him and his eyes turn to see a beautiful dark haired man, fair skinned with deep red eyes. “You’re going to hurt yourself more if you keep doing that.” The man steps closer to him, warily. Shinwon cowers away, brain not able to keep up with the pain and the strange surroundings - or the strange feeling he’s missing something. He curls in on himself, grabbing his sides to keep his hands still and screams with sound this time. “It must hurt a lot.” The man sounds sympathetic, and a little pitying. “That pain will pass soon, your body is regenerating itself. Don’t know what you did to get stabbed seven times all over like that, but it wasn’t pretty.” Shinwon’s eyes snap open, he looks down at his ripped open shirt stained deep crimson - ripped open in various spots the same length as a small blade. His death comes back to him in flash frames, the night out where he felt unwanted and alone anyway, going out to the alley to smoke - running into someone covering their face, the threat before they stabbed him anyways - seven times. They never wanted the coat.

“Where is this?” Shinwon chokes out, realizing he’s not breathing - then realizing he doesn’t feel the need to. He thinks he might go insane. He’s dead. Dead and in some kind of weird limbo that’s ugly with its grey stone walls and wooden doors and stone beds ?

“Somewhere you’ve never been.” The man laughs. Shinwon groans, out of pain and out of disappointment that even his afterlife will be mediocre. He starts to cry, unashamed - what’s the point, he’s dead. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m here, you’re okay. I’m here.” The man sits next to him, placing a pretty and pale hand against his, those clutching his knees now. Shinwon looks at him again, taken aback with just how beautiful the man is despite his strange red eyes and sickly pale complexion. His hair falls slightly in his eyes, though parted seemingly to avoid that, and on the side of his right ear rests a simple golden earring. The rest of his outfit is pure black. Shinwon can’t feel any warmth from the man’s hands, but he can’t feel any from his own either. He’s glad he can feel anything at all, though he wishes the pain would stop. “You’re healing quickly, it will stop soon.” Shinwon looks him in the eyes. Can you read my mind? The man just looks back at him, eyes darting around nervously. He moves his hand, putting it in his lap instead but staying next to him. “I can answer any questions you have. It’s,” he looks apologetic for a moment, “it’s going to be really confusing for a while. A lot of things.”

“Am I dead?” Of course, he is. He remembers dying. Remembers his very last breath, and the despair inside of it - the despair that isn’t gone now. “Am I in hell?”

“Yes, and no.”

“Yes and no to what?”

“Yes, you’re dead. No, you’re not dead.” The man chuckles.

“So this is limbo.” Shinwon groans again, realizing the pain is all but gone - simply dull aches where the stab wounds were and he touches them, eyes widening at the scars left behind.

“Yikes,” the man reaches out to touch them as well, tracing over carefully before looking into his eyes and Shinwon almost feels the need to blush, “these aren’t going to go away. Sorry.”

“So do I stay here forever?”

“You’re not in limbo. You’re still in the same world you were when you died.”

“Oh fuck , I’m a freaking ghost!” Shinwon laments, covering his ears and shaking his head. He’s never wanted that life, it’s just as boring as his own - wandering around unable to do anything. Could he even scare people? He’s just a lanky tall man trying his best. The man beside him laughs loudly, the noise almost unfitting of such an ethereal being - a little too human. “And what are you? The spirit of Death? A ghost like me?” He reaches out to touch him, hitting solid skin. The man laughs harder.

“No, I’m - stop.”

“I can’t believe this. What did I even do to not get into heaven? Wait, is there a heaven? Do you know? Can I talk to God for a second?”

“Heavens, shut up . Let me speak.” The man runs his hand through his hair, looking down at the ground and muttering. “Is this how Yuto feels when he talks to me?”

“Well give me a break,” Shinwon stands, walking around the nearly empty room looking for anything interesting but there aren’t even any windows “I just freaking died .”

“We all die. You’re not special.”

“Well I was stabbed! Seven times!”

“And if you don’t shut up and let me explain things, you might get stabbed several more.” The man hisses at him, teeth baring and giving Shinwon a jolt. His front ones are longer than he’s ever seen, sharper too. Maybe he’s not a ghost like him after all.

“Can you do that? Can I do that? Can I still get hurt?”

“Yes, and you can die again - at least right now you can. You’re still really weak.”

“I’m not weak-” Shinwon suddenly bends in half again, grasping his throat, feeling a scorching dryness that hurts more than anything he’d felt alive or dead. He can’t speak anymore, and he watches the man back away from him with a serious gaze.

“Sooner than I expected, but I guess that makes sense considering.” Shinwon doesn’t have the capacity for questions, for thought, he can hear - hear blood running through veins, somewhere. Somewhere close. Shinwon opens his mouth, an uncomfortable intrusion coming through and not letting him keep it closed. His eyes widen as he realizes his own canines have grown to be longer than the other’s and then he can barely realize anything at all. That sound of flowing overtaking him, the dryness driving him mad. “ Shit .” He looks at the man, pinpointing the source of the sound and seeing the networks under him - the deep red Shinwon’s brain is telling him to take. He tries to rise from his knees, his body feeling slow and way too fast at once. “Calm down, fight it.” The man continues to back away, glancing at the door behind Shinwon like he’s planning to run. “Yan An! Get in here!” The man yells. The door opens and another source of the noise walks in, a man who’s much taller and has silver hair, the same red eyes - just as beautiful, maybe a little less. He looks stronger, arms more toned and shoulders broader. Shinwon doesn’t know if he can take him, he’ll go for the small one instead. He lunges towards his direction but is held back by the silver haired man.

“Come here and get his other side,” the man, Yan An, yells. “If he bites me I’m biting you, Hyunggu!” Shinwon is baring his fangs, snapping like a rabid animal - saliva flying and his eyes glowing. He attempts to bite the arm holding him back but is slammed down onto the stone floor, arms pinned behind his back and cheek to the stone still snarling. The other man, Hyunggu, runs up, helping hold him. “Are the others gonna get here in time?”

“I don’t know.” Hyunggu looks worried, gazing at the beast on the floor - no longer the man called Shinwon, just a hungering thing with no thoughts or feelings or remorse. He shivers as he remembers when he was like that too, the amount of people he killed to quench it - something he won’t let Shinwon himself do. “I might have to let him feed now.”

“Are you insane? He’ll kill you like this.”

“He’ll die if he doesn’t feed soon.”

“So? It’s not like anyone-” Hyunggu levels Yan An with a glare, daring him to finish that sentence. “I mean you know, better him than you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Hyunggu scoffs, lifting the sleeve of his black sweater and contemplating cutting the vein now, but decides to give it a few more minutes. Shinwon howls underneath the two men, Hyunggu knows how much it hurts. Anyone that’s turned knows. The insane thirst when you first turn, the amount of blood needed to replace what you lost and deem you the beast you’ve really become. It’s the curse maybe, the reason the scars of your death never heal to remind you who you were and never will be again, the enraged maddening feeling of thirst that reminds you you’ll never be human again. For a moment, Hyunggu believes the others are right - that he’s made a terrible mistake and should have let Shinwon die, should have never been there in the first place but he couldn’t stop. He heard him, pleading, the desperation in his voice - the desire to keep living - but is this what he meant? Suddenly, Hyunggu thinks Shinwon might hate him when he finds out what he’s done and he feels sick. Should he let him die now like Yan An suggests?

“Hyunggu!” He hears it too late, sees for half a second Yan An’s arms slip from around Shinwon’s torso, before he feels him pierce the side of his neck and gulp - take all he needs and wants directly from him. Yan An is behind him again, Hyunggu vaguely hears him yelling but can’t really tell what he’s saying as the world is muffled like he’s underwater and the pleasant feeling envelops him. Hyunggu closes his eyes, body going limp as Shinwon holds him directly by his neck with one large hand as he drinks. He doesn't understand why he feels so weak. It feels good, and maybe Yuto was onto something. Maybe he felt a connection to this human when he found him in that alley, crying and begging to no one - unknowing that Hyunggu was there able to grant his wish as well as his own. He feels the fangs leaving his neck, his body falling to the floor completely and he thinks he sees Hongseok above him, but he closes his eyes again, consciousness failing him, and Hyunggu - dreams of growing old.

Shinwon isn’t told what happened when he blacked out. He comes to, chained down in the same room as before, but this time he’s alone. He rattles the chains and can already tell they won’t come off without their master opening them. He doesn’t need to be told, for him to piece together some things on his own, mostly that he hurt the man who was there with him. The guilt he feels wrecks him through his core, never in his life has Shinwon wanted to hurt someone and now he doesn’t even know if that man is - alive? He looks around, getting really tired of this location with no windows or anything interesting to look at - just the stones and the wooden door. He closes his eyes, thinks back to when he was alive. He’s still not sure what’s going on, but he’s also pieced together that he’s definitely not alive. He doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t feel cold or hot or almost anything at all. His skin has turned that same color he sees on everyone else around here, and this strange room just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel human. There’s still nothing to miss from when he was alive, he never published his true masterpiece or found love or even had anything he felt really attached to. He wonders what’s going to happen now, if he’ll stay in this room forever like this - if he’ll be punished for hurting Hyunggu, who if Shinwon pictures really looks almost a boy. He turns his head as the door opens, a man with dark green hair stepping in with a taller one behind him sporting pink hair - the pair holding hands and the former looking tense and protective over the other.

“Have you come to your senses?” Shinwon recognizes the green haired man as the one with the scary voice. Coven Leader, they called him. Shinwon understands he’s an authority here. He gathers the one behind him is Wooseok, and he notices another man further back standing guard that might be Hongseok, the sweet voiced one. He doesn’t see Hyunggu or Yan An anywhere and that doesn’t sit well with him. He meets the leader’s eyes, but doesn’t say anything. Truthfully, he doesn’t know if he’s come to his senses or not. What does that even entail anymore? The dryness is gone, though it seems to be far back inside him waiting to pop up again. He’s afraid of that, hopes they’ll stay back from him. “Are you thirsty?”

“I - not really.”

“For blood.” He clarifies. Shinwon knew that’s what he meant anyway, still shakes his head no. He’s startled when the man lets go of his partner’s hand and grabs his cheeks sternly staring deep into his eyes. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“I can tell, you still feel it now don’t you? Far back in there, you’re not quenched yet.”

“I- I don’t want to.” Shinwon admits, afraid of what happens next. Maybe he’s more afraid of what he did happening again then he is if they were to kill him.

“No one does.” This time, the man seems forgiving and empathetic. “Here.” He hands him something warm and thick, in plastic. “Pierce it with one fang, like a juice pouch.”

“Whose is-”

“The hospital, some human who donated.”

“These are to help people!” Shinwon protests, trying to give the bag back. The others in the room laugh at him, except for Hongseok who just smiles slightly as he stays in his position.

“It’s fine, just drink it. Your alternative is to go mad again and hurt someone directly.”

“Can’t you just stop me?”

“Did you see how well that worked moments ago?” The leader glares at him, Shinwon feels it deep in his core, that this man is not someone to anger. Something darker than the others rests inside him, something more sinister than beasts who drink blood. He takes the bag, does as he’s told and sighs at the relief. “You almost killed him.”

“It’s not like he meant to.” Wooseok, the pink haired one, defends him. Shinwon doesn’t know why. He agrees with the leader. “Yuto, he’s new. He’s scared and he doesn’t know what’s going on.”

“Hyunggu only has-”

“I know,” Wooseok steps up to Yuto, holds his hand again and looks into his eyes. “Even still. It’s not his fault. We’re all like this.” Shinwon is focused on only one thing, he drops the empty pouch next to him and wipes his lips with the back of his hand as he gazes up at Yuto.

“He’s alive?”

“He’s still here.” Yuto corrects him. Not alive. None of them are alive. “Barely.”

“I thought I killed him.” Shinwon drops his head in his hands, shaking it and blinking back tears. He feels a hand on his back, looks up to find Wooseok with a soft smile, rubbing his back soothingly.

“You didn’t. Stop scaring him.” The door is left open and he sees Hyunggu walk through, looking as good as ever, like nothing even happened. His neck isn’t torn apart like Shinwon knows it was. The healing, he guesses. Shinwon stands, bows deeply. The room laughs again.

“We don’t do that.” Hyunggu smiles at him, at him of all people. “No point in all the honorifics when we’re all old as dust anyway.”

“Some older than others.” Wooseok scoffs playfully, as Yuto glares at him.

“I just don’t know how to - “ Shinwon stops. How does he put into words that he’s sorry he almost killed someone. How does the person that killed him feel now? Was he ever even caught? Did Shinwon really pass without anyone noticing?

“There’s no need. You’re my responsibility and I was going to let you feed from me anyway.” Hyunggu tussles his hair as though he’s a child, even though Shinwon is sure he’s older than him and definitely taller. “It was supposed to be from my wrist, but these things happen.”

“They better not.” Yuto commands and Hyunggu shrinks.

“Yes, Coven Leader.”

“Your responsibility?” Shinwon questions, eyes wide as he looks at the man who seems to get a little sad, and even afraid for some reason.

“Right, well, we’ll let you talk now that I can see you’re good for a while on the blood.” Yuto and Wooseok start to walk out the door, Yuto pausing. “Hongseok here, will be right outside if you need him Hyunggu.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Hongseok, you break his neck immediately if you hear anything unnecessary, won’t you?” Yuto’s smile isn’t kind or joking, it’s terrifying. Hongseok, who is still standing at the same spot he has been with that same taut posture nods and meets Shinwon’s eyes. Shinwon gulps, ignoring the small smile Hongseok adopts at the show of fear. They all step out, Hongseok closing the door behind him. Hyunggu stands in front of Shinwon, looking for all the world nervous.

“He’s not really joking, but I don’t think you have to worry. Hongseok doesn’t act without intent.”

“That makes me feel great.” Hyunggu laughs, a smaller one than before - more like something to hide nerves.

“So why am I your responsibility?”

“Well, do you have an idea of what’s happening now?”

“I mean, I drank like half the blood in your body and I’m dead. I’m probably a vampire, right? And you are too?”

“Yeah, I mean wow. You really got it.”

“So,” Shinwon shakes his leg, the shackle around his ankle clanging loudly “you gonna take this off now?”

“No, sorry.” Hyunggu does genuinely seem sorry. Shinwon feels fear settle deep. Is he really going to spend forever here? “Just until we can get everything figured out.”

“So you’re just going to keep me here?” Shinwon doesn’t mean for his voice to break, but everything is catching up to him. “I had a life that could barely even be called that, died, and now I’m just chained up here until someone decides for me?”

“Hey, it’s - it won’t be long. I’m talking to Yuto about what we can do. It’s just that you’re young, so-”

“Young? You look nineteen! I died at twenty-four!” Shinwon tries not to yell, afraid he’ll actually invoke Yuto’s threat. Hyunggu laughs at him.

“How old do you think I am?”

“You can’t be older than twenty-two.” Hyunggu laughs harder.

“How much do you think that matters when you’ve been alive for centuries? Sure, I died at twenty-two. Does that make you feel better? Should I call you hyung?”

“Centuries?” Shinwon’s voice shakes, his throat still sore from the tears he’s choking down - tired of being pathetic. He’s already chained up like an animal and just as confused.

“I lost count after the third one.” Hyunggu doesn’t smile at that. Shinwon sees his deep pain, almost feels it himself. “Age does matter. But not like you think.”

“Yuto, right?”

“Huh?”

“He must be old as hell, everyone is so afraid of him except for that Wooseok guy.”

“His life partner.” Hyunggu chuckles, makes Shinwon feel better than when he was lost in thought about how long he’s been alive. Something Shinwon is afraid he’ll come to get to know.

“They’re married?”

“It’s more than that. Wooseok was born to be Yuto’s. You won’t understand it yet.”

“Destiny is real? Do we all have people born to be ours?” Shinwon wonders if he had someone he was supposed to meet when he was alive, if he missed them by just not going out enough. Then again, look at where going out got him.

“Destiny might be real. What those two have is more than destiny. So far, only Wooseok and Yuto have been meant to be as far as our clans can tell.”

“You never answered about the responsibility thing.” Shinwon has a bad feeling he already knows why. It’s not hard to put the pieces together when he wasn’t a vampire before, Hyunggu’s been one for centuries, and everyone keeps leaving them alone to talk. Either Hyunggu’s friends are really trying hard to set them up, or Hyunggu is probably the reason he’s here. “It was you, right?” He gives him the push he needs. Shinwon isn’t heartless, he can see the guilt on Hyunggu’s pretty face and Shinwon doesn’t know if it should be there. He doesn’t know if he regrets this yet. It’s scary to think he might be doomed to walk this earth for centuries more, but maybe he can just anger Hongseok the day he’s ready to go. What’s the big deal?

“Yes. I turned you.” Hyunggu says it resolutely, firmly, looking into Shinwon’s eyes.

“And you weren’t supposed to?” There’s something wrong with the whole situation. He’s being treated as less than everyone else, and he doesn’t think it’s just the age. He’s also nervous that Hyunggu is approaching death every time he and Yuto talk. He wonders why Hyunggu doesn’t seem as afraid of the leader as everyone else.

“Oh, it’s a lot worse than I wasn’t supposed to.” Hyunggu laughs to himself. “There’s an order to things, you know? Vampires wanted to be more than beasts, so they built their own society. It hasn’t always been like this.”

“Were they more like I was earlier?”

“Yes. Just attacking whenever they wanted, doing whatever they wanted because the humans were weak. Some want to go back to those days, but Yuto takes care of that.” Yuto could sense it, a noble air and - smell to Yuto. Since becoming a vampire, Shinwon has experienced a lot of strange sensations and the slight difference in smells of blood was something he was internally analyzing. So far, Yan An and Hongseok smell the same - mostly just like regular blood. Wooseok smells different from Yuto, more like Yan An and Hongseok, but also a lot alike and with his newfound information he guesses that it’s because of their bond. Yuto smells so different from anyone else, his blood is as scary as his being. It smells of strife, of warring, and of old secrets. Shinwon doesn’t know if he wants to find out why that is. The smell he likes most is Hyunggu’s, but something about it bothers him now.

“You smell different.” It might be a weird thing to say, but Hyunggu who’s also a vampire and probably understands what he means doesn’t look shocked as much as he does unnerved.

“Do I?” Shinwon can tell Hyunggu knows what he means and is avoiding it.

“You smelled better before. Now you smell like him.” Shinwon doesn’t have to say Yuto’s name for Hyunggu to get that he knows something weird is up with that. “Is his blood not sacred or something? Wooseok isn’t entitled to it above all else?” Vaguely, Shinwon recognizes that he’s jealous but that’s not something he wants to explore right now.

“It’s because his blood is sacred that we drink of it when we are given the chance.” Hyunggu says solemnly. “There’s still a lot you don’t understand.”

“So teach me.”

“Yes. That is why I am here.” It’s when Hyunggu speaks this way, that Shinwon is aware that this man is from centuries ago, before the times of WiFi and cars and even electricity. It’s when he’s so keenly aware of the differences between them in that way that he realizes just how long the passage of time is, and how stuck in it he is now.

“We have all the time in the world, right?” Shinwon laughs, but it doesn’t really come across the way he wants it to. Hyunggu’s expression when he makes the joke isn’t one of joy, annoyance, or even disgust. It’s that deep pain he can feel from Hyunggu, the pain Shinwon thinks he can recognize now in everything Hyunggu does. Even when he laughs genuinely, it’s always there, the pain of having too much time you never asked for.

Shinwon learns little by little, staying in his depressing tower, which he is taught has no windows for his benefit because the sun does in fact hurt them, and he’s reassured he’ll be let go soon - to a degree. He learns the hierarchy is more of an aristocracy. The age Hyunggu mentioned being levels of class, and terrifyingly enough he finds the man that comes to watch over him with his smiles that chill down to his bones and his warnings as thinly veiled threats, is at the top of it all. Not a single soul above him since almost the beginning of time. When Shinwon finds out just how old Yuto really is, he can barely comprehend it. Hyunggu doesn’t laugh at his panic or confusion, which serves to panic Shinwon more, because it just concretes the idea that Yuto in a sense - is their god. More than a Leader, he created them all and then when he was tired of the chaos he tamed them all, exterminating anyone who didn’t obey with no remorse. Yuto questions who is crazy enough to oppose their own creator this late, and then continues to observe the way Hyunggu tip toes the line of disrespect with the ancient vampire, though he stopped smelling like him a few days in.

One day, Shinwon is reading a book from the piles Hyunggu brings him to keep him occupied in between visits from the others, he’s on a casual talking basis with Hongseok who stands guard outside his room every day and keeps him company when he drinks for the day because he’s still freaking out over his only food being blood, when Yuto himself pays a visit. Not that Yuto doesn’t usually come when Hyunggu does, but he never comes alone. Today he’s completely alone, not even Wooseok with him and Hongseok is still standing outside, so Shinwon is left feeling terribly afraid. 

“How are you feeling?” Yuto asks, and for a second Shinwon thinks he almost sounds awkward - just any other dude making small talk - but he knows better. Yuto created an entire race, governs them, and has seen longer than any of them have ever imagined. How could someone like that not know exactly what he’s talking about, what he’s doing. Shinwon is maybe a little dumb sometimes, maybe Hyunggu gets annoyed at his questions like he’s a child who’s a little too old to be cute anymore, but he’s not naive. It’s not his fault he doesn’t know everything about the vampire world, he really doesn’t think Hyunggu is fair.

“I’m not thirsty.” That’s what Shinwon assumes he means anyway.

“No, Shinwon.” He shivers at the other using his name, never before hearing him, always being called directly or by some variance of neutral term, sometimes sliding towards derogatory. If there’s something that Shinwon has learned about Yuto, other than his fear inducing power, it’s that he doesn’t like humans - yet he’s their biggest protector from vampires as well. Shinwon thinks it might be because of Wooseok, who he can tell and has heard vague stories of, is like him - turned without asking by none other than Yuto himself, and therefore a human not that long ago. He doesn’t dare ask. He thinks he’s too afraid to ask Yuto anything at all, keeping all questions for literally anybody else. He’s even started getting along with Wooseok, a tall baby at his core who just wants to play and be coddled most days. “How is it? Being one of us?”

Shinwon pauses, thinks it through, wonders why it matters and if this is some sort of test. Should he be honest? Should he find the answer he thinks Yuto wants from him? He decides to say what he really thinks. “It’s lonely.” And it is, not just for himself but everyone around him. Hongseok has started telling him about a human he sees in the forest sometimes, fishing, tells him he’s interesting because he goes into the woods alone with not much on him and just sits there for hours like that’s all he needs out of life. Shinwon thinks it’s a dangerous game he’s playing, can see that the vampire is falling in love with the man when he talks about him and his voice goes soft - his eyes shining, but he doesn’t have anything to tell him and it’s not like Hongseok is someone he’s comfortable scolding either. He sees it in Wooseok and wonders how it feels to be labeled ‘the man born to be the Coven Leader’s partner’, wonders if Wooseok would have preferred to die. He sees it in Hyunggu the most, feels it through him. Shinwon has noticed that Hyunggu is different from the other vampires around him, in a way that seems to be specific only to him and Yuto. The smell Hyunggu’s blood wears like a tantalizing robe, is something Shinwon can’t pinpoint as any kind of scent or feeling specifically, just knows that it’s his favorite - that he craves to smell it again when it leaves.

“It is.” Yuto admits, humming to himself - his eyes unwavering. He’s studying him, or maybe he doesn’t have to - maybe Yuto knows everything there is to know about Shinwon, about everyone.

“At least you have Wooseok, huh?” Shinwon dares to make a light joke, despite the fear deep inside. He’d thought being a vampire would give him freedom, unafraid of anything, but he’s more afraid than he ever was when he was alive. Yuto’s eyes dip down, showing remorse and sadness, before he nods once. “Was that a sensitive subject? I’m still learning. I was wondering what the full story with you two is. I’ve only got bits and pieces.”

“You’re talking awfully familiarly with me, aren’t you?” Yuto says this with that cheeky tone he uses with Wooseok sometimes, that shows he’s not just the scary Coven Leader and does care about things, about his own. “Spending too much time around Kino.” Yuto smiles at this. Shinwon’s in awe at the man, the smile being nothing like the threatening ones he’s seen - holding such fondness. 

“Kino?” He watches Yuno’s eyes snap to his, faster than anything he’s ever seen, brows furrowed.

“Hyunggu, that is what you call him. Only I call him by his true name.” Yuto comes around, sits on the slab that Shinwon has figured out he’s supposed to use for sleep but the new vampire has never felt a pull to sleep. He wonders if vampires can even experience the basic human needs. He figures they still get - lustful, as right now he can smell Wooseok on Yuto in a way that he wishes he could scorch from his mind, unwilling to think about what the two get up to in their free time. He’s slightly amused by the idea that Wooseok is sleeping with effectively a god, holding back a chuckle at the thought of how that must feel. Shinwon feels the ugly jealousy rear its head again, he’s grown attached to the kind vampire and doesn’t like the idea that Yuto is so close with him.

“Why does he have-”

“To answer your questions about Wooseok and I, I think you can tell a lot from the pieces you’ve gathered.” Shinwon can’t deny that. Wooseok was a human, he’s not sure how long ago anymore, and he was hurt by other humans - which Yuto did not appreciate and grew to hate, he’s not sure if being born to be his meant he was born as a human meant to be his or reborn as a vampire to be his but either way it’s a dizzying idea. Shinwon feels slight jealousy for that as well, since all the love he’s heard of around him from other vampires has not turned out well. Hongseok being in love with a human doesn’t bode well for obvious reasons, but Shinwon has also heard about Yan An’s lover from decades ago - who was also human and passed like all humans do with age. The loneliness he sees inside the silver haired vampire is enough to bring him to tears at times. Sometimes he wants to ask him about it, why he let himself stay with someone he knew was so fragile - and why he didn’t turn him, but how do you ask someone why they let their lover die? 

“What if I have more questions?”

“I might not give you answers, but you are welcome to ask.” Shinwon decides to be brave, sits next to Yuto - though with more space between than he would with anyone else, even Wooseok.

“How long has Wooseok been a vampire?”

“Not as long as you might think. I have not been with him nearly as long as I wish to be.” Shinwon gathered that Wooseok feels younger like Hongseok and Yan An even if he has that strange important smell to his blood that Yuto gives off.

“What does it mean, when they say he was born to be yours?”

“I have existed longer than you can fathom, though I have not been alone in that.” He smiles again, that same fondness, and Shinwon gets shivers down his spine to think that there was another of him. “Kino has been by my side all along. My brother.” 

“Hyunggu?” Shinwon can’t help himself from exclaiming. The other is nothing like Yuto, almost the opposite of him, and he never smelled of that either. Of ancient suffering, though that’s probably what he feels inside him. If Hyunggu has been suffering for that long, why hasn’t he just ended it? Shinwon is still unsure of the mortality of vampires, he gets threatened with Hongseok’s skills but he’s not sure if they’re empty though he doesn’t really feel like finding out. Yuto looks upset, and Shinwon automatically bows his head, taught by now from all his new companions that you submit to him whenever it feels needed and sometimes just in case.

“It seems he hasn’t taught you properly.” Yuto stands, sending a wave of panic through Shinwon. Is Hyunggu about to get in trouble? But if he’s his brother, why is he not on equal ground? Now it makes sense why he steps out of line more than anyone else. “I guess I’ll have to watch over as he gives you the crash course.” The smile this time is that same terrifying one when he tells Hongseok to hurt Shinwon, which has happened more than Shinwon would care to remember since Yuto just does not seem to like him very much, and he supposes it’s fair when he almost killed his brother. Does this mean Hyunggu is a god too? Is he crushing on a god? Can he become like Wooseok? “Hongseok.” Shinwon flinches, if he could still sweat he’d be drenched. Maybe even pissed himself by now. When the door opens and the right hand man comes in, the piercing in his lip glinting as he addresses his master, Shinwon thinks he might faint. “Get my brother for me, would you?” Shinwon balks at that, did everyone but him know who Hyunggu is or is it just the benefit of being the protector of a god? “He’s not supposed to be hiding who he is, you know? It’s really kinda cute he did, maybe he wanted to be more approachable for you. It makes sense really.”

“What does?” Shinwon’s head is spinning from all the new information, and he also wonders why Hyunggu hid it. Though he’s glad he did, or he’d be just as scared of him as Yuto now, but instead he’s learned over the days that the boy has a stupidly loud stupidly cute laugh that he can’t hold back when Shinwon makes his jokes, that he wishes he had more free time to go out and see the world - something that Shinwon would like to offer to do with him if he ever gets out of this tower, and he’s learned that Hyunggu doesn’t seem like a vampire at all - far too kind and bright.

“How everything really works here.” Hongseok brings Hyunggu into the room, and the vampire looks worried as he glances at Shinwon and then meets his brothers’ eyes.

“I was going to tell him.”

“A few hundred years later?” Yuto raises a brow amusedly.

“What does it matter when?”

“You know why.” Yuto hisses. Shinwon doesn’t let his eyes off Hyunggu, worried for the man. The other turns to him, walking closer and taking his hand. Shinwon doesn’t ignore the comforting feeling it brings, as well as the nerves he’s old enough to know are butterflies. When looking at the vampire, it’s not a secret to anyone that he’s beautiful. All the vampires are, but Hyunggu is different. Sometimes Shinwon feels like he was meant to die there, to meet this man and live out years far beyond what was possible before with him. He’s not naive, he can tell his feelings are reciprocated even if they haven’t said anything. He just wonders if he can say anything now, when the other is so far above him. Shinwon’s kind of vampire, freshly turned, is on the bottom of the ladder right above humans which are the lowest. He vaguely gets the idea that this reads like a bad young adult novel, this whole situation, and he smiles as he rubs his thumb over Hyunggu’s palm - assuring him it’s okay. “Why don’t you tell him how we made all this?”

Hyunggu can barely meet his eyes, he’s ashamed. Ashamed of it all, of who he is. Shinwon can feel it, their bond is special and he wonders if it’s because he’s drunk from Hyunggu, but he can’t understand the shame - how Hyunggu could ever be ashamed of himself when he is perfect.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything.” He feels Yuto move right next to him, before he sees him. His hand on his throat, but Shinwon doesn’t move his eyes, doesn't drop his smile for Hyunggu, doesn’t take back his words.

“Yuto, let go of him.” Hyunggu cries. “I’ll tell him, let go.” Yuto listens but stays right next to them, looking at Hyunggu expectantly. “I’m your creator.” Hyunggu’s voice breaks when he says it, shuddering.

“I know that.”

“No, Shinwon.” Hyunggu looks the loneliest he’s ever seen, Shinwon wants to kiss those tears away, wants to punch Yuto in the face for making his brother do this. What’s the big deal anyway? So he made him a vampire, if it was such a problem why did Yuto let him live this long? “I made...” a pause, he seems to collect himself, “vampires.”

“You said it was Yuto.”

“I’ve made three vampires.” Yuto scoffs. “Wooseok.” Regret. “Hongseok.” Remorse. “Yan An.” Renouncement.

“There are more?”

“Did you think the people that visit you are the only ones in the world?” Yuto laughs, there’s nothing joyful about it. “No, my little brother was lonely. He wanted someone to play with, someone who wouldn’t break and die easily like the humans we watched over for eons.”

“Yuto-” Hynggu’s voice is raspy, tears barely held back. Shinwon reaches out, but Hyunggu slaps his hand away - still unwilling to meet his eyes.

“Well it makes sense, I mean the more vampires made the more can be made.” The silence is staunching. Hyunggu has been hiding more secrets than even Shinwon knew. He’s never told him about his past life, never past that he died at twenty-two which Shinwon realizes must not even be true anymore because Hyunggu never died. Hyunggu has never lived in the first place.

“Vampires that were humans can’t make vampires Shinwon.” Hyunggu says in frustration, letting his hand go and turning his back to him, his shoulders shaking as his head bends. “They don’t have the blood needed.” And there it is. The reason Yan An lost Changgu, his lover he kept by his side day after day even when he wrinkled and greyed. He couldn’t save him if he tried.  Suddenly it occurs to Shinwon that he was never bitten by Hyunggu, when he woke up he was still torn open and bloody from the knife but there weren’t any other wounds - no bites - on him. “You can only turn someone the same day they die, before they start rotting past the point their body can heal. So some people can’t be turned at all, ones that have been torn apart or blown up.”

“How do you turn someone?” Shinwon thinks he gets it a little.

“They have to drink the blood of the creator.”

“If they’re dead-”

“The creator transfers it from their own mouth.”

“You kissed me when I was dead!?” Shinwon yells. Yuto laughs in the corner, he sees Hongseok hide his mouth behind his hand as well. Hyunggu turns around, face mortified and walks up to point at him directly.

“Are you stupid? I’m telling you the secrets of creation and that’s all you can focus on?”

“I mean it’s kinda gross.”

“So is having blood in your mouth!”

“Not anymore.” Shinwon points out. Hyunggu looks like he wants to scream.

“Look-” Hyunggu sighs, exasperated. “I gave you this life.”

“And you can take it away - yes, yes nothing I don’t hear from Yuto and Hongseok daily.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Because sometimes it makes you laugh.” Shinwon says honestly, making Hyunggu stop in his tracks. “And you’re so sad, all the time, Hyunggu.” He can’t imagine how it must feel to live so long, watching people be born and die in what feels like seconds to your relativity of time. He wants to be there with him, for the rest of it, however long that may be. Surely, that would help. Wooseok is Yuto’s reason for anything, that much is obvious. Would Shinwon asking to be  Hyunggu's reason be too much? Can he ask when he wasn’t destined like Wooseok?

“I still don’t understand why you turned Wooseok when you’re so against making vampires and obviously regret it.” He addresses Yuto directly.

“Because I couldn’t live without him.” Yuto answers, ignoring any rudeness that may have carried - Wooseok being the most important thing even in conversation. True love, between vampires of all things, but still. It makes Shinwon have hope for Hyunggu’s shy little smiles and glances when he reads and asks his stupid questions. He wants to spend the rest of his long long life watching those.

“You loved him as a human?” He glances at Hongseok who looks caught, and Yuto doesn’t miss his gaze. Shit.

“Hongseok?” Yuto’s voice rises, and Hongseok’s usual proud posture breaks just a little.

“Yes, Coven Leader.” Hongseok bows his head. Shinwon feels terrible. Is Yuto going to kill Jinho? The small man who goes fishing in the woods, who Hongseok has started talking to despite knowing he’s putting them both in danger. Love is like that, Shinwon guesses, knows really. He’d do anything for Hyunggu. “Is there something you would like to tell me?”

Hongseok doesn’t answer for a moment. Shinwon and Hyunggu watch in horror as Yuto hits him across the face, sending him flying into the stone wall on his side. Hongseok gets up, bleeding from his face, coughing but unchanged.

“I’m sorry, Coven Leader.” Hongseok spits out, teeth gritted.

“Are you going to tell me their name?” Shinwon knows he won’t, knows if someone doesn’t do something now, Hongseok might die.

“No, Coven Leader.” Hongseok’s eyes meet Yuto’s glowing and bright red.

“I won’t hurt them.” Yuto’s voice is calm, calculated. “Why would I? They’re just a measly human, doomed to die in a matter of years - if they’re lucky to live until old age.”

“Brother!” Hyunggu yells. “You’re being cruel.” Yuto turns to Hyunggu and Shinwon feels every single piece of fear he’s ever felt in his life magnified a thousand times. The ancient’s eyes are dark pools of nothing, Shinwon fears someone might get sucked in. His fangs are fully grown and out, snarling, nostrils flared. Hyunggu flinches, stands in front of Shinwon.

“Must I remind you, Kino? What humans have done to us!?” His voice is demonic, filling up the entire room.

“That doesn’t mean we live in fear of the past!” Hyunggu yells back.

“I am protecting us all because you cannot.”

“Is that what you call it?” Hyunggu scoffs, laughs almost the same way Yuto has, scary - unlike himself, monstrous. “When you killed Hui? That’s what you called it?” Shinwon stares as Hyunggu’s own fangs come out, trying to think of what to do.

“Don’t you blame me for that! He was a menace!”

“No, he was helping!” Hyunggu’s voice is changing, his own anger overtaking. Shinwon takes the distraction to run to Hongseok, helps him up by apologizing quietly but Hongseok just shakes his head with a smile. It was going to be found out eventually.

“Helping who?” Yuto rages, body covered in thick black fog almost completely. His eyes showing through, glowing and threatening. Shinwon only saw this type of stuff in horror movies. Can he do that? Is it a god thing?

“ME!” Hyunggu screams, emotions letting go completely. The dam breaking, Shinwon is overtaken with despair - the bond between them driving him almost mad. He clenches his heart, tears falling as he realizes they’re the tears Hyunggu himself can’t cry. “I asked him to kill me!” Shinwon sobs, the suffocating despair running through him, Hyunggu’s feelings of wanting it all to end, of losing a friend, of feeling alone while Yuto found Wooseok, all of it running through him at once. He can barely hold on to Hongseok now. The two of them slumping against the back wall, Hongseok comforting him more than the other way around. Shinwon wonders why Hongseok isn’t healing.

“Why would you do that?” The door slams open, Wooseok running in, crying just as hard as Shinwon, feeling all of Yuto’s emotions for him - everything but the rage. Yan An is close behind, eyes widening in surprise when he assesses the scene. He runs to Hongseok, taking his other side. “You’d leave me alone, brother? After all this time?”

“Alone?” Hyunggu laughs, that scary laugh. Shinwon never wants to hear it again, Hyunggu’s own body is being covered in grey fog. “You’ve had Wooseok with you for millenia, Yuto. I’m the one who’s been alone.”

“Stop this!” Wooseok yells. “What are you doing?”  Yuto’s fog dissipates a moment to look at his lover, his crying face, pained.

“I don’t know.” Yuto rasps, afraid. Yan An is begging Shinwon to leave with him and Hongseok, the shackles long gone. He can finally go out, be free. He looks at Hyunggu, feels the tug inside his heart, shakes his head with his own smile. His place is by his side. He doesn’t know why. There is no reason. He is the reason, all the reason he needs. Yan An curses, wishing him good luck and dragging Hongseok out the door. He watches as Wooseok walks forward, lets the fog envelop him too, arms wrapping around the monster inside because to Wooseok he could never be. Not when he was a human, not now as his eternal companion. The fog dissipates completely, leaving Yuto crying in Wooseok’s arms but Hyunggu stays in his grey form. Shinwon’s despair which is Hyunggu’s doesn’t edge or fade. “I’m so scared I’ll lose one of you.”

“I’ll follow you wherever.” Wooseok promises.

“So that’s it? Wooseok comes to fix your hurt little feelings and we forget everything?” Hyunggu’s voice is shaky. Shinwon starts to approach him, the fog spreading around him even more. “Hui isn’t dead? Hongseok isn’t in love with a human? But I’m still alone.”

“No, you’re not, idiot!” Shinwon yells in frustration. Why is it that he can understand everything Hyunggu feels but he can’t understand his feelings for him? “What did you make me for?”

“I just wanted to help you.” Hyunggu hisses.

“No, don’t lie to me.” Shinwon hisses back, surprised at himself. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel whatever this is too. This connection.”

“What?” Yuto and Wooseok ask Shinwon.

“I - I feel like every moment of my existence was only leading up to you, Hyunggu.” Shinwon is crying, but this time it’s his own feelings and he sees Hyunggu’s fog wave like an ocean unsure of itself. His own emotions all over the place. Wooseok gasps.

“What does it feel like, Shinwon? The connection.”

“Like there’s only you. Like nothing, no one else exists. Or it doesn’t matter anyway.” Shinwon is still talking directly to Hyunggu, the fog almost all but gone. “Don’t. Don’t tell me I’m alone in that.” Hyunggu inside, looks small and fragile - human like he’s never been.

“What does it even mean?” Hyunggu says softly. “So we’re like Yuto and Wooseok? So what? We’re still doomed to walk this cursed earth until my brother kills me or I him.”

“I’ll do it.” Shinwon pleads. “If you want to go that bad, I’ll kill you but don’t expect me to not follow. And I just started living. In this stupid tower, the only place I’ve known since I was born again, I started living just talking to you. To everyone. Making friends ... falling in love.” He’s torn open, his wounds seeping out truths he didn’t know he had to tell. His human life could barely be called that. He went through life as if there was a straight line, there was no reward at the end but now there is. Now there’s this. Living with Hyunggu, with the others and seeing all life really has to offer him. Watching time change what that even is.

“You can’t do it!” Hyunggu yells, pointing at his brother accusingly. “Only he can, or the god he fucking killed a thousand years ago.”

“Hui was going to take you from me!” Yuto yells back. “He didn’t want to help you, Kino! He just wanted your power, to turn us back to animals. He was mad with time.”

“And I’m not?”

“No, you’re still my little brother. The brother who hasn’t lost his heart nearly as much as I have.”

“How do you even know that?”

“Because you knew about Hongseok, didn’t you?” Shinwon agrees with Yuto, that Hyunggu hasn’t lost that spark. He did know about Hongseok, being the first to ask for his new lover’s name and then keeping it locked inside himself like a precious thing. “You knew about Changgu when Yan An lost him all on his own. All those years, but you never told me.”

“How did you-”

“Because he begged me to turn him.” Yuto says, pained again, and Wooseok takes his hand - presses his lips softly to the back. “And after the time passed, he begged me to kill him too.”

“Why didn’t you?” Hyunggu hisses. “Why didn’t he ask me?”

“Changgu wanted to live and die like he did.” Yan An says from the doorway he’s been waiting unnoticed. “Despite my pain, Yuto understood that and didn’t let me make Changgu’s decision for him. Not after he already did it to Wooseok.” Shinwon is listening intently, trying to understand.

“So why did he-”

“Hongseok and I asked him to turn us when we were dying. Begged.” Shinwon wonders if he sounded like he did in the alley, if they were as pitiful so Yuto couldn’t just leave them.

“And I hated him.” Wooseok chimes in. “I tried to kill him, myself, despite already feeling the connection. We were lovers when I was a human too, but Yuto knew I never wanted to be like him. He thought it was a gift, long life and being beautiful - powerful, for humans. He thought they all wanted it.”

“Love,” Yuto sounds broken. Shinwon can’t imagine a time Wooseok hated him, there’s no sign of it now.

“The problem with time is that it heals all. It’s hard to hold a grudge when you’re in love, connected, and lonely without him.”

“Kino,” Yuto starts.

“I think you need to tell him.” Wooseok looks into his partner’s eyes.

“Tell me what?” Hyunggu hisses. “How much can you hide from me, brother?”

“Just this. I - I was afraid.” Yuto looks human like Hyunggu does, fragile and vulnerable, not the big bad god anymore.

“Well go ahead.” Hyunggu scoffs. 

“Shinwon can kill you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Wooseok can kill me, because of the connection. When they drink from us, they take years off our lives. You felt it, didn’t you? When he attacked you before and I had to give you mine.”

“I thought you were just worried I wouldn’t heal fast enough for that stupid rebellion trip next week.”

“I - I never expected you to find him. I could smell it as soon as I saw him. The connection between you two. I knew he could kill you, by accident, or because he turns on you,” softer, “or because you ask him to.”

“So you were going to keep him from me?” 

“I was going to keep him here until you came to your senses. I didn’t want to kill him, I knew eventually you’d be together. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

“It’s not your choice to make!”

“I know.” Yuto admits, bows his head, and everyone in the room freezes. Something unthinkable has just happened, Yuto submissing himself - even with Wooseok it was always equal ground, but not now. “I had to be reminded. Of a lot of things.”

“You’re so stupid.” Hyunggu starts crying again, Shinwon steps forward - collects him in his arms. “I’ve always been the smart one, you know.” He laughs through his tears.

“I don’t know about that.” Shinwon smiles at him, teasing.

“Oh, shut it.” Hyunggu smiles back. “You’re one to talk.”

“I’m young! I have a lot to learn.”

“Guys, I really love the touching reunion, but we have a problem.” Yan An’s worried voice pipes up, at some point he had left the room to check on hurt Hongseok. “He’s gone.”

“Who?”

“Hongseok. I think he went to find him.”

“He’s really more trouble than he’s worth.” Yuto glares at Shinwon, but this time it’s not that scary. He looks like he’s teasing, and Shinwon realizes that he only hated him because he was a threat to his brother but Shinwon would never hurt Hyunggu - not unless he asked him to take his life, with no doubts. “We’ve never had so many problems until you showed up.”

“Ah, but the thrill of it all?” Shinwon grins back. Yuto and Wooseok laugh.

Shinwon is allowed out, with Hyunggu and Yan An as keepers. He finds they’re deep inside the forest - the tower he was in just a tiny part of a much larger castle that is much more modern in other parts than his own room. They comb the forest and the surrounding areas but don’t find any sign of them, or even their scents. Yuto blames himself and the blame is easy to put on him but Shinwon guesses he’d get pretty grouchy after a couple thousand years being alive too and thinks an apology and the promise of Jinho’s safety will be enough for Hongseok to forgive him. They decide to regroup and try again next night when the sun starts to rise.

“He’s hurt. He could get thirsty.” Yuto worries.

“He’ll be fine, he can find animals if he needs to feed that badly.”

“I’m more worried about the human.”

“Hongseok would never drink from him without permission.” Yan An says, offended.

“Sure, sober sane Hongseok wouldn’t.” Yuto supplies.

“You don’t know shit,” Yan An hisses. Shinwon hears the pain behind the words, after all Yan An has already experienced loving a human. The desire to drink from someone you love is apparent.

“I’m sorry, Yan An.” Yuto offers, and Yan An pouts and retires to his room but is up and ready to search again as night falls.



They find him days later. He’s in the boiler room of the hospital, still hurt despite the empty blood bags they find him by. They give Yuto and Hongseok time to talk as they stand guard outside in the shadows. Shinwon flirts  with Hyunggu a little too loudly and gets hit upside the head by Yan An, giving a mischievous grin in response. It’s not like he can help himself, his boyfriend is literally a god and Shinwon has discovered for himself that vampires do in fact get human urges. Much to everyone else’s dismay, Shinwon and Hyunggu are basically in the honeymoon stage. When Hongseok comes out of the boiler room, he smells like Yuto, and everyone knows he fed from him - his wounds gone. They don’t mention it, Hongseok looking embarrassed but also terribly upset.

“Why does it feel like someone’s died?” Shinwon jokes, hilarious if he does say so himself.

“He’s going to.” Hongseok’s voice is soft. Shinwon shuts his mouth, reaching out a hand to his friend who just waves it away. “Tonight, I heard the doctors say they don’t expect him to last. He got pneumonia, fucking fell into that stupid river. It’s the middle of winter but he wanted to go fishing .” Hongseok is baring his fangs, emotions exploding out. “I’ve been staying with him, at night when the nurses aren’t around as much. Telling him stories.” Hongseok’s voice breaks. “He’s only twenty-seven, you know? He was supposed to have so much more time .”

“Does he want to?” Hyunggu speaks. Yuto glares at him, but Hyunggu simply glares back. “Have you- talked about that?” Yan An looks down, fiddling with his fingers.

“I- I didn’t think I’d have to bring it up now .” Hongseok panics, then look at Hyunggu. “Are you - are you giving him that choice?” He looks back at Yuto, shrinking under the Coven Leader’s gaze.

“I am.” Hyunggu says with conviction.

“Let me do it then.” Yuto interjects.

“Brother, shut up. You just fed Hongseok.” Yuto frowns, retreating to Wooseok like a puppy. Shinwon is still having a hard time believing the man who made him want to wet his pants before can be like this, but he’s always been like this - just not around him. “If he wants it, I will turn him.” Hongseok nods and asks to have his moments with his lover. They all sit waiting for the news, hours pass before he’s back and when Hongseok comes back, he is running with tears in his eyes.

“Hyunggu please, he just passed. The nurses are - they’re going to take his body. We don’t have much time.”

“Did you -”

“Yes, we talked it through. He - he wanted to know if he could tell his sister. He wants to say goodbye, she’s in another country and doesn’t know about his hospitalization. Please .”

They act so fast, Shinwon is left reeling. He’s still getting used to the vampiric speed, when you don’t need anything to give you energy - the energy is unlimited, leaving strength and speed unlike anything. When Yuto enters the room, he casts what Shinwon can only call a spell and everyone in the room is asleep. Shinwon figures this is how they usually get the blood bags.

“Oh, well this will be easy.” Yuto comments.

“What?” Hongseok asks dazed.

“Well he’s tiny, he doesn’t need much blood. Unlike someone .”

“So how long are we going to bully Shinwon for not becoming a vampire like he was supposed to?” Shinwon whines, arms across his chest. Hyunggu giggles next to him.

“Give it at least another decade.” Hyunggu whispers in his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek and Shinwon forgets what he was complaining about.

“Can you two stop ?” Yan An sticks his tongue out as if gagging.

“Do you want to join?” Hyunggu raises a brow and the other freezes then tells Yuto he’s leaving to stand guard. The reaction piques the couple’s interest, and they tuck the conversation away for later with knowing smiles on their faces.

“Can we focus on the dead man in the room?” Yuto says, corralling the children.

“Can barely find him to be honest, leave it to Hongseok to find the smallest human in existence. Can you imagine this guy being a vampire?”

“Well he’s about to be.”

“Ya! I said I would do it!” Hyunggu pouts and stamps his feet.

“You got to make Shinwon!” Yuto laughs. He looks at Hongseok. “Can I kiss your boyfriend?”

“I hate you.” Hongseok says through his tears. Yuto shrugs and cuts his wrist, taking his own blood in his mouth and leaning down to Jinho’s cold open mouth.

“You’re right, it is gross.” Hyunggu mutters to Shinwon.

“I told you.”

They take the sheets Jinho’s body is wrapped in, Hongseok carrying him bridal style back to their castle. The deep sleep Jinho enters after death is the time the brain needs to process in between. Everyone stays in the living room, except for Hongseok who stays inside the same tower Shinwon did with Jinho’s sleeping form, no longer his home as he has a bedroom to share with Hyunggu. 

They’re talking among themselves, sharing stories with Hyunggu teasing Yan An until he can’t look anyone in the eyes anymore and stands to leave but then a strange sound is heard from upstairs and they’re all quick to react - not up to losing Hongseok again. They run into the room, to find Hongseok on the floor - a short vampire wearing oversized clothes, Hongseok lending him his, on top of him and drinking deeply from his neck. Hongseok groans, still conscious.

“He acted fast.” Yuto says, surprised. “Shinwon had a whole conversation before he succumbed to The State.”

“I hate that you guys call it that. It’s lame .” Yan An whines.

“Well when you make your own species, you can also name their functions.” Hyunggu pats his shoulder lovingly, blowing him a kiss and laughing when Yan An’s eyes widen and he plays with the edge of his shirt again.

“It’s because he’s tiny,” Wooseok says as he pulls the snarling vampire off Hongseok’s now unconscious body and puts him to sleep with the same spell Yuto used earlier. The new favorite bullying is Jinho’s small stature, though Shinwon hasn’t been forgotten either. “Not much room for the thirst to sit in there. Hongseok is going to need to feed again.”

Yuto and Hyunggu look at each other.

“Rock, paper, scissors?”