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Kaneki Ken had never been an outgoing person. So how he ended up with such an energetic and loyal friend often left him questioning the idea of fate.
Especially after he fell in love with his friend.
He couldn’t pin point exactly when he had started to feel this way about Hide, but now that he recognized the feeling, he couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t in love with Hide. The energetic blonde had been by his side for years, becoming his friend when no one else even acknowledged his existence and accepting him with all of his flaws. Kaneki couldn’t imagine anyone other than Hide putting up with his preference for books over conversation and his quiet, introverted ways. In turn, Kaneki faithfully followed Hide, following the whirlwind whims of the blonde and trusting in his judgment. Sometimes when they hung out they’d end up at the movies, sometimes at an amusement park, and other times when Hide wanted “to go on an adventure,” they’d end up wandering through the city for hours trying to find new places to explore.
Today was different though. Today was one of their quiet days. Kaneki was always grateful that Hide remembered to include some time for the brunette to recharge; sometimes Hide’s energy was too much for him, and the blonde had learned to recognize when Kaneki needed some quiet time.
Which is how Kaneki found himself lying on Hide’s bed, book in hand, listening to the explosions and shouting coming from Hide’s video game. They always ended up like this; Kaneki resting on the bed, reading, and Hide sitting against the edge of the bed, controller in hand playing whichever video game piqued his fancy that day. It was relaxing and comfortable.
Kaneki wasn’t reading though; he hadn’t read at Hide’s house for almost a year now, ever since he started to love the blonde as more than a friend. Instead, he took the time to watch Hide like he didn’t get the chance to in other situations. Hide was better than any book, in Kaneki’s opinion. The way he pursed his lips during particularly difficult battles, or the way he would cheer under his breath when he was doing well. He couldn’t see Hide’s face very well from where he lay without it being obvious, but he liked looking at his blonde hair, how it looked so soft he just wanted to run his fingers through it. It was always ruffled lightly, like he wanted it to look a bit messy on purpose; Kaneki thought it was endearing. He liked the way he could just see the tip of the blonde’s nose around his cheeks, which looked soft and warm. He’d always wanted to kiss Hide’s cheeks, to see how they’d feel under his lips. And when Hide turned to tell Kaneki that he’d won a difficult battle or gotten through a particularly complicated level, Kaneki couldn’t even bring himself to pretend he wasn’t looking, because Hide’s smile was like the sun, radiant and blinding and filled with energy. Kaneki didn’t want to miss a single second of that smile. He just hoped Hide didn’t think him weird for it.
Just then, Hide gave an especially loud whoop and turned to grin at Kaneki, same as usual. This time though, when he met the brunette’s already-staring eyes, a peculiar, knowing grin replaced his smile, confusing Kaneki.
The blonde turned back to the game for a second, hitting the pause button on his game. Then he stood, stretching and cracking his back, the pops loud in the quiet that filled the room without the background noise of the battle.
“Hey Kaneki, stop reading for a sec and c’mere. I want to show you something,” said the blonde, turning his head to smile at the wary brunette.
“…A-alright,” replied the brunette, putting his bookmark between the pages and closing it. He stood and placed the book on the bed before turning to the blonde. “…What is it?”
“Kaneki, come dance with me,” said Hide, holding his hand out to the brunette.
“….Eh? EH? Dance with you? W-why?” stuttered the brunette, startled at Hide’s words. That wasn’t a normal thing friends did with each other, even Kaneki knew that, and being so close to the blonde… “There isn’t even any music!”
Hide sighed, putting a hand on his hip and shaking his head. “Kaneki, you’re no fun. Just, come here,” he said, taking a step forward and grabbing the brunette’s hand. He pulled him to the center of the room and placed his other hand around Kaneki’s waist. Stunned, the brunette froze, not knowing what to do. Hide was so close, and there was a light blush on his cheeks that made them look even more kissable, and there was only so much one poor college student could take.
Impatient, Hide rolled his eyes at his friend’s reluctance. “Come on Kaneki, just put your arms around my neck, it’s not that difficult. Here, like this…” Hide said, releasing Kaneki to guide his arms to his neck. The blonde’s hands then returned to his waist, pulling him closer. He started to hum quietly, and sway on the spot, pulling Kaneki with him.
“See?” he said quietly, pausing in his humming, “it’s not that difficult.”
Kaneki disagreed. This was extremely difficult. His heart felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest, and he could feel his hands shaking as his palms got clammy and warm. What was Hide thinking? He could feel the fiery blush on his cheeks, which was surely a dead giveaway of his feelings. What if Hide guessed how he felt? Would he still be his friend, or would he be disgusted and stop hanging out with him?
They continued to sway back and forth for a while, Hide filling the silence with his soft humming. Kaneki felt as though his heart was being squeezed and his chest felt tight. Only his nerves kept him from pulling out of Hide’s arms. He only looked up when Hide’s humming stopped and he cleared his throat.
“Listen, Kaneki, I actually wanted to tell you something… you see… well…” began the blonde before trailing off and looking away.
Kaneki just held his breath. He thought he had never been more scared in his life. The anticipation was curling in his gut like a poison, causing all of his senses to go into overdrive. His heart was now beating in his throat, fluttering quicker than the wings of a hummingbird and he felt like his lungs would burst with the breath that he physically could not let out.
And then warm brown eyes met his own, and he felt like a deer caught in the headlights, frozen and terrified. Was this a confession or a rejection? Either way, it meant the end of their friendship. If the outcome was so similar, then why did he feel so terrified? Of course he knew, but he didn’t want to think about it. A life without his sun was too cold to think about for any length of time.
And then Hide grinned with pursed lips. “Ah, why is this so hard? Look, Kaneki, I really like you, you know? As more than a friend. If you don’t feel that way I totally understand, I just couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore, and I felt like you deserved to know,” said the blonde evenly, “And… if you don’t want to be friends anymore, I’ll understand that too. I know it’d probably be creepy, knowing your best friend has a crush on you, right?” Hide laughed a little, lifting a hand from the brunette’s waist to scratch at his neck nervously.
Kaneki just stared. While he knew it was possible for the blonde to like him back, he honestly had not expected it, and hearing Hide say out loud that he liked him had rendered him speechless. He knew his mouth was open and that the blush on his face had spread to cover his neck and ears; he must look ridiculous. It took Hide’s voice to snap him out of his stunned silence.
“Yeah, sorry about all of this, I’ll just—“ said the blonde as he began to lift his other hand from the brunette’s waist.
But Kaneki reached out quickly and snatched his retreating hand. “W-wait, Hide! I… I like you too, I was just… really surprised. I never thought you could feel the same… and you caught me off guard…” confessed the brunette, staring at their hands. It was quiet for a moment, but then the blonde freed his hand and threw his arms around Kaneki.
“I knew it! I mean all those times I caught you staring couldn’t have meant nothing, eh Kaneki?” he teased, squeezing the brunette tighter.
“H-hey!” he protested, embarrassed that the blonde mentioned his staring. It was only because Hide always looked so cute…
“It’s okay, Kaneki, I liked it when you stared. It’s what gave me the courage to confess,” admitted the blonde, pulling back to look at Kaneki. “… Hey, mind if I show you one more thing?” he asked, grinning at the brunette.
Without waiting for an answer, Hide leaned in and pressed his lips to Kaneki’s. Caught off guard again, he froze in surprise, hands at his sides and eyes wide, his blush deepening even further. Hide pulled away before he had a chance to react.
“Sorry, I’ve wanted to do that for awhile,” the blonde explained, a sheepish expression on his face.
Kaneki reached up and touched his lips with two fingers. They tingled lightly under his fingertips and he could still feel the press of the blonde’s lips against his.
Without saying a word, Kaneki leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against the blonde’s before pulling back again.
“I have, too,” he admitted quietly. Then, because he finally could, he reached a hand up to press against his warm cheek. It was as soft as it looked. Leaning in, he pressed his lips first against on cheek, and then the other, smiling softly as he did. “… And that too.”
Hide just grinned at the brunette, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Ah jeez, I’m in a relationship with a total sap. What have I gotten myself into?” he said teasingly.
And when Kaneki went to cover his face with his hand, Hide caught it and pressed his lips to it. Entwining their fingers, Hide smiled and moved towards the door, tugging Kaneki along behind him.
“Come on you big sap, I’ve got a bookstore date to take you on...”