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You weren’t sure what exactly happened.
Well, you knew how it happened. You just didn’t know why you’d let it.
One moment you were in your quarters, sitting on the couch, reading a novel on your datapad and sipping caf. Your mind slipped to a recent memory and a tightness seized your chest.
A woman was yelling - no, screaming - at you. You couldn’t even make out what she was saying, but you were frozen in place, unable to respond, eyes wide in fear. You looked at a few bystanders frantically, eyes begging them to intervene on your behalf. But no one moved. They all just stood there, and watched her scream at you. You wanted to run, but your feet were glued to the floor. You wished she would just. stop. yelling.
The longer she yelled, the harder it became to focus on anything except escape. And yet, you could not move. The way she sneered at you, the hatred in her eyes, the tone she used – your chest was so tight you thought you might explode from the tension. You were amazed your were still breathing at all because you kind of had forgotten how to–
And then you were back in quarters, and someone was calling your name. They were far away, so maybe you still had time to pull yourself together…
A hand rested on your shoulder and although you would have normally been startled, instead everything felt slower, like you were moving through a heavy fog.
It took a great deal of effort to raise your head and turn to see who had touched you.
Rex.
You blinked up at him. When you didn’t say anything, he frowned.
“Y/n? Are you okay?”
It took you a few beats more than it should have to process what his words.
“Uh….”
Your slowed speech, unfocused eyes, and the way you seemed to not really know where you were – Rex had seen it before. You were having one of your episodes. He saw down next to you on the couch and shifted so that he was facing you.
“Look at me.”
You wanted to - you really did - but your body wasn’t listening.
“Hey, cyare, look at me.”
You finally got your eyes to move until they landed on his amber ones.
“Good. Now, tell me what you hear.”
Your eyes left his as you tried to think about the room around you. Could you hear anything? Were sounds real? It all felt like a soupy fog, but you could kind of hear something.
“The…the engine,” you said slowly, though it felt like the words had come out like molasses.
“What else?”
“Um….the caf machine.” It was slowly becoming easier to form words.
“Good. One more.”
“You.” You motioned generally in his direction. “ ‘cause you’re talking to me.”
Rex rolled his eyes, but was still grinning. “Glad you noticed, cyare. You back yet?”
“Uh…kind of?” You still sounded spacey and not-really-there.
“‘kay then, tell me what you see.”
“Uhh….my datapad?” Rex nodded. You looked around slowly. “My caf…your helmet…..you.”
“Good, cyare, now what can you touch from where you’re sitting?”
You stared down at your hand and moved them almost experimentally before putting one flat on the couch. “The couch.”
“What else?”
Extending a single pointer finger, you tapped your nose wordlessly. Rex couldn’t stop a grin from breaking onto his face. “Anything else?”
You took the same pointer finger from your nose and, leaning forward slightly, placed it on his nose instead. “Boop.”
Rex chuckled. You were back. Your eyes were more focused now and there was a small but tired smile on your face. He grasped your extended limb and unfurled your fingers, pressing a soft kiss to the center of your palm. When he looked back up at you, you looked away, a tinge of pink warming your cheeks.
“Where’d you go, cyar’ika?”
You shifted so that you were more comfortably tucked against him on the couch, nestled against his chest between his legs. “Bad memories.”
“Hmm.” He wrapped his arms around you once you’d gotten comfortable. “You want to talk about it?”
“Mmm….nope.” You pulled a throw blanket up so that it covered both of you. “I’d rather cuddle.”
“Happy to oblige, cyare.”
You both fell asleep like that, cuddled together on the couch.
