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Nothing Happens at Jeritza’s

Summary:

Pigskin? Did they mean a type of food, or some sort of demented ritual?

Notes:

Really, it’s a whole lot of nothing.

Work Text:

Jeritza looked up as the door opened. Byleth stood in the doorway.

“Did I miss a date?” Jeritza asked, looking a bit bemused.

He then noted the teenager standing next to Byleth.

Jeritza awkwardly stood up and looked at Cyril. Cyril looked back at him.

“Babysitting.” They explained.

“...I have a thing today.” Jeritza said.

“Won’t get in your way.” Byleth said.

With that, they went to the kitchen table with Cyril. Jeritza watched, eyes wide.

“I—“ He started to say.

“Texted you.” Byleth interrupted.

Jeritza swiftly grabbed and opened his phone. Sure enough, his partner had sent him a few messages to let him know.

By: Coming over.

By: I have a kid.

By: It’s not mine.

Jeritza looked at the table. “You understand what these messages read like, correct?”

Byleth didn’t answer him.

“Can you help me with my homework?” Cyril asked.

It seemed the two would be there for a while.

——

Jeritza.: Do not come over today. No witnesses.

Jeritza.: That message was not meant for you.

Byleth glanced over at Jeritza from the table. He waved awkwardly.

“Had plans?” Byleth asked.

Jeritza waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about them.”

Byleth looked back at Cyril and his homework. Jeritza swiftly made sure to actually open Kronya’s contact that time.

——

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later. Jeritza froze for a split second, then stood up and went for the door.

Please don’t be bloody. Please don’t be bloody. Please don’t be bloody—

“Greetings, Jeritza. It seems you changed the Hulu password.”

Hubert and Edelgard. Of course.

“I did, Hubert.” Jeritza said, then went to close the door.

Hubert put his foot in the way. “I think not.”

Jeritza gave him a dull look. Byleth glanced over.

“Password please.” Hubert requested.

Jeritza shook his head.

“Then we shall have a watch party here.” Hubert strode past Jeritza.

Edelgard shrugged. “If that’s what it takes.” She followed after him.

Jeritza stood for a moment, dumbfounded. He slowly turned around. “What is important enough for you all to do this to me?”

Hubert sat on the couch.

Edelgard sat next to him. “Ghost Adventures.”

Jeritza closed the door louder than he needed to.

Byleth turned to see Hubert. “Ferdinand?”

Hubert glanced over. “Not today, no. I’m not his keeper.”

Byleth frowned slightly. “No pigskin?”

Pigskin? Did they mean a type of food, or some sort of demented ritual?

“No, no football.” Hubert shook his head.

Oh.

Jeritza looked at the paperwork on his lap desk.

The TV was turned up too loud for comfort.

“I dunno what that is.” Cyril could be heard over the noise.

Jeritza sighed and put his head in his hands.

“It could be worse.” Edelgard, obviously amused, said.

That’s when the window opened.

——

“Really, Kronya? Really?” Jeritza had stood up suddenly, dumping his papers all over the floor.

Cyril looked over. “Isn’t this apartment on the third floor?”

Byleth tapped the homework pages. Cyril sighed and looked back at it.

“It was sooooo boring, just waiting like that!” She huffed.

“I texted you and cancelled.” Jeritza grabbed his pen and pointed it at her.

“I broke my phone.” She informed him.

Edelgard looked over. “We’re trying to watch Ghost Adventures.”

“Yes. Can you keep it down?” Hubert requested.

Jeritza threw his pen at Hubert, hitting him on the forehead.

“Oh, Ghost Adventures? I like this show!” Kronya settled in next to Edelgard and Hubert.

Hubert glared at Jeritza, rubbing his forehead.

Jeritza sat down again. “Is there anything I could do to stop this?”

Everyone just ignored him.

——

“What homework is he doing?” Jeritza finally made his way over to Byleth and Cyril.

“Anatomy.” Cyril let him know.

“Let me see that pencil.”

——

“And that’s 53.” Jeritza announced.

“Whoa, so fast!” Kronya gasped.

“Triple.” Byleth poked the paper.

Edelgard nodded. “It’s a perfect Pythagorean triple.”

Cyril tapped the paper. “Oh, okay.”

Byleth jumped as their phone rang.

“Hello....yes...mm...” They basically mumbled into the phone.

“Have to take Cyril home.” Byleth said.

Jeritza frowned. The two had barely been able to spend any time together.

“...We can do that.” Edelgard said, patting Cyril’s head. Cyril fixed his hair up.

Cyril stood up. “Alois won’t care who takes me there.”

Cyril patted Byleth’s shoulder, then turned to everyone. “Thanks for the homework help.”

“Goodbye, Cyril. Thank you for taking people out of my home.” Jeritza waved. Edelgard and Hubert left with Cyril.

“Kronya, now.” Jeritza turned to her.

Kronya laughed. “You’re no fun...call me!” With that, she went out the window.

Byleth looked at the TV. “...Spooky.”

——

And so, the two sat to watch Ghost Adventures.

“...Cheesy.” Byleth grumbled after a while.

Jeritza chuckled and kissed their forehead. “What else could we watch?”

“Chalphy versus—“

“Absolutely not.” He interrupted.

Byleth let out a small laugh.

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