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0. The Rules
Like most of their Pogue rules the Free Pass came from Big John.*
It happened when JJ, Pope and Kiara were staying at the Chateau after school. They were 12 years old. Big John had cooked spaghetti from a package and he told them about the Royal Merchant.
When Kiara first learned that he went missing, she remembered that night and how he had looked then: glasses crooked, hair and beard shaggy, red cheeks from either the sun or the beers or the laughter.
„The spaghetti are undercooked“, Kie had said, pulling her face to a grimace when one noodle cracked between her teeth. She was young but she already knew a thing or two about cooking.
JJ and John B booed. Big John took a swing from the bottle and informed her that next time she should invoke her Free Pass rights when commenting on his cooking if she was ever to be invited back to the table.
„What’s a free pass?“, Pope had asked and John B hurried to explain: A Free Pass allows someone to say or do anything in strict confidence and without any consequences.
There were strict rules to be followed with a Free Pass:
1) A Free Pass does not apply to anything illegal.
(„But snitches get stitches!“, JJ cried and unimpressed Big John replied that JJ could try and see how far that excuse would take him with the sheriff.)
2) A Free Pass must be announced beforehand and must be agreed on by both parties. A handshake is preferable, but any other form of consent, written or verbal, is okay too.
3) A Free Pass is limited by a previously stipulated time.
4) Once a Free Pass is called whatever happens must stay between the parties involved unless someone is hurt in the process, rule 1 is broken or the invoker frees the partaking parties from the obligation.
A fifth rule was added later on after JJ started shouting „Free Pass“ every time before he used a bad word.
5) No more than three Free Passes are allowed per year.
* Big John had imposed the No Macking Rule when John B and JJ had brought Kie to the Chateau for the first time. Whatever Big John said to them had left an impression: Kiara remembered distinctively how the next day each of them almost tripped over the other insisting that they would never want to marry her, because girls were gross and besides Pogues didn’t mack other Pogues, every child knew that.
1. 12 years
JJ was a little shit.
Unfortunately he was also the best surfer. So after continuously wiping out of the board and too proud (and too chicken at the same time) to ask her parents for enrolling her in a surfing school, Kiara gritted her teeth and marched over the elementary school yard like marching into battle.
JJ somehow found a soccer ball after having been banned to touch any kind of ball the previous week after smashing a window in the cafeteria. He lazily kicked the ball from foot to knee to foot again and tried a new trick including his head in the sequence too, when she said, „I need a Free Pass.“
Without taking his eye off the ball he said, „I’m busy.“
„Not now. Tomorrow.“
That peaked his interest and he caught the ball with his hands. „What’s tomorrow?“
„The Free Pass would have to take at least a couple of hours and would include this conversation too since you need to prepare.“
„What are you planning, Kie?“, he grinned wide, all crooked teeth and wild hair and mischief in his eyes, „Remember rule one.“
„Yeah, like you are the one to talk“, she extended his hand, „Is that a deal?“
JJ thought for a moment, shrugged and they shook.
„Okay, …“, taking a deep breath, she prepared herself, „I need you to teach me surfing.“
She could not credit him with at least trying not to burst into laughter immediately.
„You are shit at surfing!“, he howled and she hissed, „Yes, and you are good at it. No point in lying. Teach me so I can kick your ass!“
„Ha! Never gonna happen!“
„So deal? Or no deal?“
„And you need this to be a Free Pass because …?“
Kie felt herself blushing. She didn’t want to admit that she had zero interest in confession to John B how insecure she felt on the board. He would be so damn understanding and the thought alone made her furious. He would also offer her to help and that made her even more furious.
So she lied (which was technically not against the rule since the Free Pass did for sure not cover the negotiating part, right?), „I have a bet with John B.“
JJ grinned again, „Dude, you got yourself a deal!“
They shook again and agreed to meet at sunrise at Rixon Cove the next day. Kiara was mentally and morally prepared to endure a day of barbs and jokes at her expense. She was however in for a surprise, because the first thing JJ said was „Are you afraid to fall?“
She nodded with tight pressed lips.
„What about balance?“
„What do you mean?“
„I don’t know, like … do you find it easy?“
Kiara had to think. She always struggled to stand up on the board because her knees felt weak every time she saw the wave coming.
„No, I don't.“
„Okay … basics then.“, JJ clapped his hands once and ordered her to lay her board flat on the beach.
He was a surprisingly good teacher. He also took it surprisingly serious. He did however struggle a lot with explaining what he meant, either because he couldn’t find the words or because he never actually had to consciously think about doing these things himself when he was surfing. They fought about it, but not much.
They spend almost the whole day at the beach. Kiara had sneaked left over foods from the Wreck that JJ all but inhaled. Once they moved into the water she felt how he was itching to get on the board himself, eyeing some of the waves further out that were too high for her.
But he never abandoned her.
At the end of the day they chased a couple of waves together and Kiara didn’t wipe out once. They high-fived and succumbing to his excess of energy JJ finally turned into the deeper water. She watched him from the beach as he was climbing and surfing wave after wave, falling of the board almost as much as he stayed on.
She was pretty sure it was just because he enjoyed it. (And probably to poke some fun at her too.)
Later, he asked „Feeling better about that bet?“ and Kie had to think really hard before she remembered her white lie from the day before, „Yeah … maybe … with a couple of more lessons?“
JJ gave her a long side-eye. Then he offered her his hand, „Deal. But only if you keep bringing food.“
They met up, just the two of them, until the end of the school term. He never magically cured her fear of being pulled under water. He remained a little shit.
But he also gave her a secretive wink every time they went surfing together and never once told a soul.
2. 12 years
„Hey Kie“, he said when they were sitting on their boards side by side, watching John B and Pope paddling towards the next wave.
„Can I have a Free Pass for a sec?“
Kie was distracted plucking at the new wetsuit she got for Christmas. She had outgrown her old one, but the new one still felt unnatural, not as broken in. She shrugged, „Sure. Three minutes.“
He nodded, they shook hands and then he asked, „Does your dad … hit you?“
Her eyes snapped to JJ, sitting on his worn but well kept board, staring at their friends in the distance. He didn’t own a wetsuit and his lips were already slightly blue from the cool winter sea.
„No! Of course not.“
„Ah … okay. Cool“, he said and continued to stare.
„Why?“
„Just curious.“
Kiara frowned. Why would parents hit their kids? Her dad always used to say that he could strangle her whenever she did something wrong (usually because the Pouges as a whole got into some mess together) or that he ought to have put her over his knees when she was younger, rolling his eyes, voice annoyed.
But she never - not once - thought that he actually would follow through.
„Does your dad … hit you?“, she asked back.
„It’s …“, he shrugged, „Sometimes.“
Kiara was baffled, „Like … like a smack on the back of the head?“
She had seen Heyward do this to Pope once. It didn’t exactly look like it would hurt much.
JJ’s eyes turned vary, looking at her cautious. Then he grinned, wide lips and sharp teeth, „Yeah … yeah, like that.“
He stared back at his board and for a moment Kiara, still confused about the turn of the conversation, was sure that he was done.
But then JJ spoke again, „You know … sometimes he grabs my arm real hard or… when he’s angry he - … he slaps me.“
Kiara was not sure what to say and finally she settled on, „Does it hurt?“
He turned to her sharply and fixed her with a hard glance, „Time is up. Free Pass, remember!“
Kiara frowned. „Right“, she said.
JJ erupted into a toothy grin and Kie watched him paddle towards his next wave. She also watched him closely in the days after their conversation and once almost told her dad about it.
Did this fall under rule 4? Secrecy „unless someone is hurt“? If JJ’s dad was hurting JJ wasn’t she bound by the rules to inform someone?
Kiara knew she probably needed proof but then … who would believe it? Because this was JJ Maybank, raiser of hellfire and bringer of mischief who was never not bruised from all the running, playing, trying tricks with his bike, climbing things, falling hard and fighting other boys in school or in town?
Would someone believe her when she told?
So she didn’t tell.
In the following years she only asked him about it once when JJ sported a nasty cut on his lips and moved stiff like his ribs were hurting. Kiara knew for a fact that he went home for a change of clothes for the first time in a month the day before. They were 15 and it was her last night before she started at the Kook Academy and when she cornered him in the kitchen of the Chateau and asked if his dad had hit him again JJ stared back at her, unusually silent and then he lifted the bottle to his lips and repeated, „Free Pass, remember?“ and left her standing in the kitchen.
4. 15 years
She had just called the cops on Sarahs party.
Felling agitated, Kie climbed out of her window onto the litte slap of roof covering the porch and stared up into the sky, the stars barely visible through the light pollution of Figure 8.
She hugged her knees and tried to listen for the sirens despite knowing that her house was too far away from the Camerons mansion. Tears were stubbornly pressing themselves out of the corner of her eyes and she wiped at them, angry and hurt.
On impulse she pulled out her phone and opened JJ’s chat. The last message was almost five months ago.
JJ [3:35PM]
We go surfing today
but you know
you probably wont show up anyway
so dont bother
She had left him on read. Kiara bit her lips.
Kiara [1:43AM]
Hey
I could really use a Free Pass right now.
She starred at the screen, waiting for his reply while she was staring at the read sign that popped up almost immediately after she had hit send.
Then JJ typed.
JJ [1:55AM]
you have 5 min
Kiara [1:56AM]
I made the wrong decision. I should have never picked the Kooks. I should have chosen the Pogues.
JJ [1:57AM]
sucks to be you
Kiara [1:57AM]
How is John B?
JJ [1:57AM]
bad
Kiara [1:57AM]
Do you think he could forgive me? And Pope?
JJ [1:58AM]
yeah
they probably will
they dont know whats good for them
cant stay mad long
Kie held her breath, watched the typing bubbles appear, disappear again.
Kiara [1:59AM]
And you?
JJ [2:00AM]
times up
The next day the news of the police crashing the Cameron party was all over the island and its’ social media. Kiara needed a week to muster the courage to go back to the Chateau, tail tucked, carrying a six pack of beer, food stolen from the Wreck and her most strategic bikini top.
Pope looked like a beaten puppy, John B made awkward small talk and JJ ignored her. After half an hour she was trying to think up an excuse to flee the scene and throw up somewhere in the bushes in agony when the motor of the HMS made some funky noises and died.
John B groaned, Pope sighed and JJ swore so colorful that she couldn't help herself but laugh at the familiarity of the scene. They stared at her.
JJ was squinting, „How about you crawl into the motor this time round and then we will see who laughs last?“
Kie snatched the wrench out of his hands and went to work.
4. 16 years
She pulled him into the closet, because hey … they were being shot at by criminals, she wore a dress and JJ was on a secret mission. Why not embrace the fact that her life turned into an utter B-Plot?
„Where have you been?“, she hissed as JJ fought off a random piece of clothing. He brushed over the cut on his cheek as if she hadn’t seen his face banged up before.
„Ehm … jail?“
She rolled her eyes and continued, „Why did you lie to Shoupe?“
He tried to elbow her out of his way to leave the closet, „I really don't have the time, Kie, I’m on a mission …“
She blocked his way and fixed him with a stare, „Pope told me, okay?“
„Of course he did.“
„Don’t use that tone, he is out of his mind! We both were! Do you have any idea what you did, what that means for you?!“
„Yeah, Kie I think I’ve gotten a pretty clear picture spending the night behind bars and being up for restitution, okay?! Don’t scream at me!“
„Don’t … okay, okay! Look, I just want to talk …“
„Nothing to talk about, Kie“, he tried barreling through her again, but she held up her hands and he stopped, „Let’s … let’s do a Free Pass, okay? Just … Two minutes or something …“
„I don’t need a …“
„Two minutes, all is a go, no follow up, no consequences, okay? I just …“, her fingers were shaking as she set her phone alarm. He called her name multiple times but she ignored him. JJ spent the night in jail. He was up for restitution. His dad probably gave him the blue eye in his face. Pope was miserable. She needed to fix this and if he would only talk to her …
She held up her phone, „Two minutes okay? No lies. No judgement, I just need to understand what happened, JJ, you … why did you do that?“
He ruffled his hair, „Topper is an asshole and he had it coming.“
„JJ! Please don’t lie to me…“
„No, Kiara. You listen! For all intents and purposes I sank Toppers boat. It was me and only me. This is the only truth that matters and fuck what Pope says. I sank that boat and the answer will stay the same, Free Pass or … or prison or whatever!“
He was in her face now.
„Yesterday was probably the proudest day of my life, okay?! Like … this is probably the best thing I will ever do! And I did it for Pope who is my best friend and who is fucking awesome and he does not deserve any of this, okay? So … it was me.“
Kie throat dried up, „But …“
„No, Kie!“, he hissed, „You don’t understand, I knew you wouldn’t!.“
She drew back, but JJ continued in a low voice, „We’ve forgiven you, Kie. But that doesn’t mean I forgot. Okay?“
His eyes wandered up and down her body, taking in the expensive dress, the jewelry, her utter Kookness full on display. She looked at him in return, with the black eye, split lip and the waiters uniform. She swallowed hard. „That’s … that’s fair I guess.“
„Yeah“, JJ rubbed through his messy hair with his hands. They were uncomfortable for a moment until JJ, fidgeting, asked her, „How much time do I have left?“
„Ehm … 40 seconds.“
He nodded, pushed at a hanger poking his shoulder and mumbled, „You look nice.“
„Huh?“
„Look, I don’t want to like … objectify you or something, I just want to say … You do look nice tonight, Kiara.“
She held her breath for some reason. The air in the room got tight, loaded with something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. The smell of slightly sour sweat, a tinge of sea breeze and something musky invaded her senses.
„Thanks … JJ“, she stammered, heat rising to her cheeks.
„Sure, dude“, he shrugged, then slapped her shoulder and just like that the spell was broken and the alarm started to blare.
„I have to find Sarah.“
„Okay.“
„See you.“
„Later.“
He left the closet and Kiara felt a drop of sweat run down her spine.
Everything went downhill from then on out.
But before all that, before John B fell off the tower, before they learned about Ward and Big John, before the hot tub and the dark, purple bruises and the guilt, before the man hunt, the fight with Pope, before Sarah and John B vanished on open sea, before the grief and mourning and more guilt, she ran across the grass into JJ’s open arms.
He swung her around and she smelt sweat, sea and musk again and with the eyes of all of Kooklandia on her, she was finally choosing right.
5. 18 years
Kie set ten minutes on her alarm clock, put her phone screen down on the counter next to her and said, „Free Pass. Ten minutes. Good?“
JJ emerged from out of the fridge where he was hunting for something to eat, „Wow, when was the last time you used a Free Pass?“
„Good or no good, JJ?“
He shrugged, „What’s bothering you, kid?“
Kiara winced at that.
Because what was bothering her was that for the last couple of weeks she had started noticing JJ.
There had been moments in the past where she had crushed on John B (12) and Pope (16) and objectively she had always known that JJ was hot too. But then a couple of weeks ago, they were surfing and he had emerged with his board from the water like some ridiculous ocean god and her mouth had dried out completely and since then her body and mind has done nothing but filibustering her with sudden hot flashes and vivid, graphic images flooding her brain and other parts.
If she was honest it curious it didn’t happen sooner.
So yeah, Kie needed a free pass to get this over and done with because experience showed that nothing did away with a crush like getting it out of the system. Two’s a pattern, right?
„Can I kiss you?“ She cringed as she asked.
JJ stared at her with open mouth, „Is this a joke?“
„No.“
„Kiss me?“
„Yes.“
„But … why?“
Kie really didn’t want to explain but oh well …
„So you are kind of hot.“
„Damn right I am!“ It seemed nothing on this earth could shock JJ out of a self-glorifying comment.
„Focus, please. So, you clean up nice, sometimes, and for some reason the last couple of weeks my body is telling me that I should like this, so I need to kiss you to get that over with.“
„You are such romantic, Kie. Did anyone ever tell you that?“
„Shut up and lay one on me, please?“
JJ shook his head, cocky grin suddenly replaced with a confused frown, „You are serious.“
She pointed at her phone, „Tick Tock“.
„Like really serious?“
Kie buried her burning face in her hand and groaned, „I know. I’m sorry. I just …“
But before she could complete the sentence, JJ took her wrists and gently moved her hands back to her side.
„Hey …“, he said in the softest voice possible and ashamed, she looked up with a grimace.
„Whatever you need, Kie. What are friends for?“
„Sorry.“
„It’s cute. I’m cute so I can’t really blame you“, he grinned again at her snort „Peace, tiger or I won’t kiss you.“
„Okay, stop talking please?“
He moved towards her and Kiara gripped the counter on her sides. JJs eyes flitted around and a flush creeped up from the loose collar of his shirt, „Okay … brace yourself or something. Incoming.“
Before she could laugh, he pushed his lips to her mouth and she held her breath at the awkward press of lips, their noises weirdly mushed together and the coiled tension erupting in her body telling her to flee the scene right now.
Kiara was sure it was only a couple of seconds but it felt like a horrible eternity before JJ moved back again. He looked like she felt, utterly horrified and ready to run but he stood his ground, ruffling his hair with the flush having reached his face.
Kie had to clear her throat a couple of times befoe she managed to speak, „That was … it?“
JJ stared back with wide eyes, „What were you expecting?!“
Kiara knew that the disappointment she felt was exactly what she wanted to achieve. But a part of her still had … well, hoped.
„I just …“, she shrugged awkwardly, „It looked different when we had to watch you hook up at the boneyard all the time … you know …“
JJ rose up, hurt pride plain on his face, „Wasn’t the point to not enjoy it?!“
„Look, I didn’t mean …“
„I can kiss you properly if that is what you want!“, he challenged and his eyes suddenly blazed angry and he straightened his shoulders and his jaw set and all of that knocked the wind out of Kie.
Before she could think she breathed, „Yes, please“ and JJ was there.
His body pushed her back against the counter and his lips were back on her mouth but this time they fit and the press was gentle and then turned urgent and Kiaras skin erupted in goosebumps all over and she was really trying to breathe but couldn’t and the only thought filling her mind was Oh God, he doesn’t even have his hands on me yet.
He continued kissing her with close mouth and she gasped when she finally felt them, his big hands with rough tips, scraping the soft skin of her neck and angling her face to his liking.
She tried opening her mouth but JJ leaned away. Instinctively she move forward, chasing him and they stared at each other for a moment. Then Kie took his face in her hands, pulling his mouth open with her thumb on his chin and licked into it.
After that she had no recollection of who moved when where because the only thing mattered that they didn’t stop kissing, that she had her hands tangled in his hair, that his arms were around her, squeezing all excess air out of her lungs.
Until the alarm suddenly went off next to her.
Kiara tore away from his lips but left her legs locked around his hips and groped for her phone in haste, trying to stop the sound without destroying the moment.
Her fingers shook - her whole body shook - and eventually she turned back, peppering his face with small pecks to get him to open his mouth again and melt against her, to squeeze her again, to forget the alarm.
She even rolled her hips against JJ and made him hiss but he softly pushed her away, leaning his hands next to her on the counter. With his head hanging low, she heard him sigh, „I need a minute.“
Her voice was a high-pitched croak as she gently moved her nails along his scalp, „Yeah, sure …“
They stayed like this for a bit and finally JJ raised his head and fixed her with his eyes. „Look, Kie … unless you plan to take this to my bedroom I … I need more than a minute?“
Kiara was not prepared for this question. What had been her plan, actually?
She tried to process but in the end JJ answered his question himself. He gave her a short kiss on the tip of her nose and sighed softly, „Time’s up, Kie.“
She nodded and let him go.
„Blunt?“, he asked.
„God, yes.“
They moved to the porch, sitting side by side with a view over the dock and the HMS bouncing up and down where it was tied.
JJ built the blunt next to her and Kiara couldn’t stop staring at him. His face was all sharp angels, badly shaven, wild hair that was stringy from the sea and her hands, bare arms with defined muscles from hard labour, long fingers gently working the thin papers to a cone. When he flicked out his tongue to wet it’s edges she had to bite the insides of her cheeks.
The Free Pass did chicken shit. It made things worse.
„Don’t look at me like that“, he mumbled.
„Like what?“
„Like you realized that I’m hot“, he grinned.
She laughed and the flame of his zippo threw strange shadows on his face as he lit up. Taking a deep drag and keeping the smoke in his lungs for a long time, he handed it to her and their fingers touched for a moment.
Kie made a decision then. She put the blunt down in the ashtray on the table and slowly got out of her chair.
JJs eyes were fixed on hers as she slowly climbed into his lap, brushing the tip of her nose against his. JJs hands moved almost lazily from her thighs bracketing his hips to the small of her back and then down to grab her ass cheeks.
Overwhelmed by the closeness their fingers were wandering and their breath fanning the others face before she finally said, „Take this to the bedroom?“
JJ surged forward to kiss her.
They were too distracted to find the familiar way easy, JJ pressing her back against the door frame for another searing kiss after they finally managed to stand up and Kie attempting to suck his neck while he maneuvered them past the pull out couch, painfully hitting the corner of the kitchen counter in the process.
„God, woman, you don’t make this easy …“, he growled, turned her around and with his hands on her shoulders and laughing, he goose walked her down the hall and into his room. He closed the door and Kie pressed her backside against his chest, rolling her hips against his hard crotch and JJs hands found her breasts and Kies hands found his.
She was breathing heavy when they finally made it onto the bed, shirts and shoes gone and JJs hand cupping her.
She bit his earlobe when he pushed the first finger in and struggled to keep her eyes open when he followed quickly with a second. He felt him hard against her leg and tried palming him but his kisses kept distracting her and soon she entirely lost track of any coherent thought that wasn’t about what JJ was doing to her.
Until they heard the car door slam.
John B shouted, „Damn it JJ, again with the burning blunt on the porch?!“
„Fuck!“, JJ hissed alarmed before jumping up. Kie only just managed to button up her shorts and pull the collar of any shirt over her head when John B unceremoniously ripped the door open.
„JJ, what … Oh.“
„Closed door means privacy, dude!“, JJ hissed through gritted teeth, still prone, still shirtless with swollen lips and a red flush all over. Kie struggled with her shirt then got up and, avoiding John Bs eyes, mumbled „Bathroom“.
She heard Sarah and Pope joking on the porch as she wet her face and neck with cold water multiple times, tried to clean up the wetness between her legs and will her knees to stop shaking. When she felt composed and ready enough, she left and found JJ and John B had joined the others on the porch.
JJ was again clad in a shirt and soft but he keep his eyes down at the half burned blunt from before. John Bs squinted at her, arms crossed.
„Relax, John B … it was just one burning blunt.“, Sarah waved at him and asked Kie, „Where have you been?“
She shrugged, „Bathroom.“ And because she was completely rattled, she added, „I wouldn’t go in there for the next ten minutes.“
Pope laughed.
And John B asked, „So, just like that then?“
„What happened?“
„She is lying! You don’t even think about telling us the truth after I walked in on you?“, John B pointed at her and JJ, „They were fucking!“
Sarah and Pope stared at them with wide eyes.
„Dude, we weren’t …“, JJ started, but Kie interrupted him, „You saw JJ sporting a boner and me pulling on a shirt … fine form by the way to just burst through a closed door!“
„So you are hooking up?“, Sarah asked with a bright smile, „Finally!“
Kie and John B stared at her with wide eyes.
JJ shrugged and lit the blunt, „It’s nothing.“
The words stung. They stung hard but Kie kept a straight face.
„Yeah, just … bored.“, she agreed nonchalant.
„Just bored.“, JJ repeated and handed her the blunt. She took the hit gladly, trying not to think about the fact that he had been ring-deep inside of her just moments before.
Pope stared at their display of casual indifference with raised eyebrows and said, „Well, he is the last one to break the no macking rule so we really can’t give him any shit now, can’t we John B?“
„You guys are way too hung up on that rule any way …“, Sarah rolled her eyes as she accepted the blunt from Kie and John B raised his hands confused, „You are just okay with this?“
„Two consenting adults consenting to some harmless foreplay should really not be that high on your lists of priorities“, Kie forced a smile and it hurt her cheeks.
„So you … are not dating?“
JJ laughed at that, „Dude, have you met me?!“
That stung too, but the pain was already dulled by the weed and the knowledge that he was right. She was bound to leave the OBX at the end of summer and JJ never once had considered serious dating in his life, let alone a long-distance-relationship.
John B stared around confused and only sat down when JJ forced the blunt on him.
„This is so weird …“, he mumbled and Kiara couldn’t help but agree.
+1
The party at the boneyard was full on around her and the guy in front of her was exactly her type: He was smart, dark hair and wearing an ethically sourced shirt brand.
Kie had been fucking horny for weeks now. But she nevertheless gently moved away when he tried to huddle up closer.
„This isn’t going to happen, isn’t it?“, he said with a wink and she was relived that there was no fight waiting to happened this time around.
„No, it isn’t.“
„Fair enough. You have someone?“, he looked around like he was expecting a raging boyfriend trying to jump him as if on a cue.
„Not exactly…“, Kiara couldn’t help but sigh. She had seen JJ leaving the party earlier. She knew he had a job manning the emergency tow truck this weekend and was on call.
„Well, if he isn’t he’s an idiot. No offense.“
Nice-Guy said goodbye, promised to send her the link about the wildlife protection charity they spoke about and left her alone at the fire.
Sarah and John B were dancing nearby, lost in their own little world. Sarah threw her head back in laughter - the kind that made you snort like a pig. John B beamed.
Another look showed Pope surrounded by people at the keg, telling some story. She joined him and after a couple of hours the four of them found themselves on the fringes of the party.
Sarah yawned. „Let’s go home.“
When they arrived at the chateau, JJ was leaning against the porch, smoking a cigarette instead of a blunt.
„Those things will kill you someday“, Pope said and turned in on the pull out that he and Kiara kept sharing even after they stopped dating.
The others stayed outside for a bit longer, talking shit until Sarah tugged at John Bs arm and they turned in as well.
JJ offered her a swing of his bottle and she raised an eyebrow at him.
„Relax. It’s soda.“
„Who would have thought you would be stone cold sober on a Saturday night.“, she laughed.
JJ grinned, „Yeah … had to make some changes, you know?“
Kiara turned towards him. He never really talked about the last encounters with his dad, but the change they brought along have been visible: If he was scared of one thing and one thing only it was turning into his dad.
„It’s really cool what you are doing.“, she bumped her shoulder against his, „The job. Drinking less …“
„Yeah, gotta shape up. Get ready for when you guys are gone and no one is here to keep my ass out of trouble anymore.“ Of course, he still deflected any serious conversation about it with jokes.
She indulged him and laughed, but it was not a very happy sound „Like we have been very successful with that.“
„You have no idea … what this means to me, Kie. All of it.“
Kie felt herself melt, she wanted to take his hand and kiss him again like they did a couple of weeks ago. Her blindsided attempt of getting over one of her best friends had only resulted in her falling even more for him.
„You are a sappy sober, JJ Maybank.“, she answered, but her voice hasn’t been ready yet. It was low and raw and thick. Kiaras stomach turned into a burning knot.
She felt JJ staring at her from the side. And then she moved her hand closer to his on the porch railing, her little pinkie brushing against his.
„I’m fresh out of Free Passes, Kie.“, he mumbled.
„Yeah, me too.“
„Kie …“
„I really don’t want to go.“, she breathed, „I’m not ready yet.“
„You really, really should go.“, he replied and hooked his pinkie with hers, „There is nothing here for you.“
„You are here.“
He sighed.
„Why not?“
„I can get sober, Kie. I can stop smoking and work full time at the garage and try to make extra cash on the side in the marina. It won’t be enough. You’d just start hating me. I’d start messing around. We’d be miserable.“
She hissed at him like an animal, blinking a lot and fast to prevent any tears from falling, which just made him laugh, „Stop telling me what I’m suppose to feel when you haven’t even asked me to date you yet, you idiot! This new, rational, improved JJ is the worst. Why won’t you … don’t laugh at me!“
„Okay. Okay“, he answered, but he didn’t stop. Kiara moved to stand between his legs, her hand automatically finding the long hair in the nape of his neck.
They looked at each other. His lips were dry on her cheek and they chafed very close to the corner of her mouth. When he leaned back she chased him. This time they didn’t stumbled and crashed their way to his bedroom. Holding hands in the dark they carefully moved down the hall as to not wake the others.
When JJ closed the door behind them Kiara pressed her back against his chest and he hugged her to him, lips brushed against the nape of her neck. Slowly he took off his shirt and Kiara slipped into one of his and they fell asleep.
The next morning, Kie woke up with JJs lips brushing her naked shoulder and his hand clutching her hip. She twisted around and kissed him. She pushed his hand between her legs, and JJ growled into her mouth. Kie tried to be silent but then JJ gave her a deep, deep kiss and with a wink he asked her, „Do you want to date me? No time limit, all consequences and judgements? Deal?“
She laughed, her stomach uncurled and every thought of keeping it down was forgotten. At some point she heard a door banging and John B shouted, „Abort ship! It's happening, abort!“ Pope whoop’ed and the car speed away in a hurry.
But then JJ hitched her leg higher around his hips and her last thought was that everybody every once in a while needed a Free Pass.
But sometimes consequences weren’t half bad either.