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Adjusting to life in the tower wasn't as hard as you thought it would be. It was definitely difficult, having gone from living in your small, run-down apartment, to living in the Avengers tower. But the team was incredibly welcoming and made you feel comfortable from the get-go. Tony Stark had found you after a video was leaked of you using your powers to help someone in the streets and he decided he needed you on the team. Who were you to deny Tony Stark? So that was how you got to where you were, a part of and living with the world’s mightiest heroes.
While there were plenty of strange things that happened in the tower, you could look past the majority of them. You could ignore it when Clint dropped out of a vent, grabbed a snack, and went straight back into the vents. You could ignore it when there was a crash from Thor and Steve having an arm-wrestling competition. You could even ignore it when Natasha was watching your every move as if she was waiting for you to slip up. What you couldn’t ignore, was the piercing blue eyes of a certain super soldier. Whenever you were in the same room as him, his ocean eyes would track you. The difference between his stare and Natasha’s was he wasn’t waiting for you to make a mistake, he was simply watching. Whenever you caught his eye, he always had the same expression as though he was trying to pull you apart piece by piece and understand you.
It wasn't just his eyes that were affecting you, it was the entirety of him. It was his thick, chocolate hair. It was his silent yet imposing presence. It was the rare smiles he let slip when he thought no one was looking. It was his laugh that only Steve could bring out. You liked so much about him, you knew he had flaws but they were a part of him. You blamed your hopeless romantic trait for falling for him so quickly, but you were grateful for the warm, fuzzy feelings he caused.
Since coming to the tower, you were happier. When Thor was there, the two of you got on swimmingly. He would come to see you first when he arrived and he would say goodbye to you last. It had been a long time since someone cared about you as much as Thor did, and it had been just as long since you cared about someone like you did for Thor. In fact, you were positive there were at least three people in the tower who thought there was something more than friendship between the god and you. If you weren’t so caught up on Bucky, you might’ve agreed with those people. But Thor could see the way you pined after the soldier and he was determined to help you.
“Young one! I’m tired of seeing you love from a distance, you need to express your feelings for Barnes!” Thor announced one evening when the two of you were hanging out in your living room, cuddled up on the sofa. As soon as the words registered in your mind, you blanched at his suggestion and tried to push down the rising panic.
“Thor, no! Have you met me? I am way too socially anxious to tell him how I feel,” The god locks eyes with you and after a moment, a nostalgic look washes over him. You gently nudge his leg with your own to encourage him to talk about it.
“I was just remembering a time back when I was younger. Loki wasn’t always as charismatic as he is now, he used to be very similar to you actually,” You scoff at his statement but he carries on, “He had feelings for one of the servants but he was too afraid to tell them to their face.”
“What did he do?” You asked, unable to hide the fact you were enraptured by the story.
“He wrote them a letter,” He chuckled at your blatant shock, “He may not have been as charming then, but he has always had a way with words. He expressed his emotions and wrote down everything he felt for them then gave them the letter.” The image of a younger Loki handing a love letter over to a servant was a funny one that you were struggling to wrap your head around. Younger Loki was so much different to the Loki that the people of Earth knew.
“What happened?” Thor started rubbing circles on your back and hummed questioningly, “What happened with the servant? Did they feel the same way as Loki?” Thor sighed before answering.
“They did return Loki’s feelings, however, our Father found out about the budding relationship between them and fired the servant and their family from the royal service.” You gasped and covered your mouth. You were silently raging at Odin, he had no right to take away the chance at love from his son, adopted or not. The calming circles on your back brought you down from your anger, you looked at Thor for a long while.
“So you think I should write him a letter?”
“I think a letter would be easier for you than telling him straight to his face,” You nodded at his answer, glad that you had Thor in your life. The two of you sat in silence for a long time, you half draped across Thor and him holding you close. After a while, you notice his breathing even out and when you look up at his face, he’s fast asleep. You chuckle slightly but instead of trying to get to your bed, you join him and fall asleep in his arms.
When you wake up, the sun is barely coming up and Thor’s warm embrace is still surrounding you. His breathing isn't as steady as before, so you knew he was awake but the two of you were enjoying each other’s company. The quiet moment between friends was ruined when you heard a loud rumbling. You lifted your head to look at Thor. He had a slightly guilty expression and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Come on, big guy,” You extract yourself from his arms, grab his hand, and lead him out of your apartment and into the kitchen. No one else was awake at this time, but if they were, they were training. When you’re in the kitchen, you usher him onto one of the island stools and make your way around into the kitchen. You pull a box of Poptarts from the cupboard and put a packet in the toaster for you and two for Thor. While waiting for the Poptarts, you grab two glasses and fill them with milk. By the time you’re done, the Poptarts are ready so you grab them and give Thor his.
“The breakfast of kings!” You declare in a loud, pompous voice. Thor makes a shout of agreement and lifts his glass. You take your time eating your breakfast and reflect on your conversation with Thor the night before. On the one hand, a love letter is romantic and it’s also easier if Bucky rejects you. On the other hand, a love letter leaves actual proof if it doesn't work out the way you want. You knew the pros greatly outweighed the cons but there was still that fear.
You were brought out of your thoughts by a cough from the god in front of you. After raising a questioning eyebrow at him, he inclined his head slightly to the left. When you followed his direction, you saw Bucky standing in the doorway, freshly showered and wearing sweatpants and his trademark tight t-shirt. You gave the soldier a warm smile, which he returned. You quickly moved your eyes from him as you felt your face hear up and heard Thor stifling a laugh from in front of you. You glared at him and kicked him under the table, making him choke a little on his Poptart.
Feeling proud of yourself, you glanced back at the doorway and saw Bucky was gone. When you looked around, you saw him just behind you in the kitchen, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. You could feel your face heat up even more at his close proximity but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He stood up straight when he closed the fridge and turned around, making eye contact with you in the process. You tried to ignore the fact that your face was probably bright red and smiled at him.
He smiled back again but he didn't break eye contact. You could feel yourself getting more flustered from the constant attention from the soldier, so to try and help that, you did the first thing that came to mind: you held out your untouched Poptart to him. He looked down at the offered food and reached out his flesh hand to take it from you. He brought it up to his mouth and took a bite, giving you a blinding smile once he had swallowed.
Whatever moment you were just in was ruined by an annoying laugh from behind you. You reluctantly pulled your eyes from Bucky’s and turned to face the god.
“I hate you,” you mutter under your breath.
“What was that, young one? I don’t think I hear you,” Thor said, barely containing his humour.
“Nothing, dearest,” you say with sarcasm lacing your voice. When Thor lets out a bark of laughter, you decide you can’t handle him anymore, stand from the island, and put your glass in the sink.
“Bye Bucky,” you say quietly before turning your attention back to the god, “And you, come find me when you’ve calmed down. I think I’m gonna take a page out of Loki’s book,” at hearing your statement, Thor bursts out laughing again and you leave the room with a smile, unaware of the blue eyes and affectionate smile of a certain soldier following you.
Back in your apartment, you sat at your table with a pad of paper and a pen in front of you. Scattered around you were crumpled balls of paper, you couldn’t settle on what to write or how it should be written. You rubbed your hands on your face and let out a frustrated groan, just then, the apartment door opened and Thor walked in. He stood in the doorway taking in the mess surrounding you.
“I don’t think my brother was this bad,” you glared at the god and slumped further into your chair. Who would’ve thought expressing your feelings could be so difficult?
Thor crossed the room and sat next to you, he put his hand on your arm and said, “You can do this, write honestly and you’ll be fine.” You sighed and nodded before picking up the pen and starting writing.
Bucky… No, Bucky seemed so impersonal. Okay, you can do this.
James,
You are the first thing I think about when I wake up every morning, and you are the last thing I think about before I go to bed. You are the first person I want to say good morning to, and the last person I want to say good night to. You’re the person I want to share Poptarts with at dawn. You’re the person I want to be with, and I’m amazed that even after all this time, I still find more and more things that make me fall more and more in love with you.
I will love you through your toughest times.
I will love you through your weakest moments.
I will love you through every test and trial.
I will love you no matter what you do.
I will love you when you’ve lost your way.
I will love you when you’re mad at me.
I will love you when you push me away.
I will love you, James Buchanan Barnes, as long as you’ll have me.
(y/n)
You put the pen down with shaking hands and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You hadn’t even given him the letter yet, but it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Thor reached his hand towards the letter and grabbed it before you could stop him. It was a private thing! He shouldn’t be reading it.
You couldn’t stop him though, he was determined to read it and he always did something once he set his mind to it. Instead, you waited with bated breath for him to finish reading the letter.
“(y/n), I hadn’t realised how strong your feelings were. I apologise for intruding on this,” you smile at Thor’s apology and take the letter back from him. You decided you would post it under his door later on in the day.
---
“JARVIS, where’s Bucky?”
“Sergeant Barnes is in his apartment, miss,” you thank the AI and decide that now was as good a time as any. You grabbed the letter that you’d poured your heart into and left your apartment. The elevator ride was short, Bucky only living the floor below yours, but it seemed to drag on forever. The doors opened ever so slowly and you slipped out as soon as you could.
The silent hallway soothed your nerves slightly as you walked the short distance to his door. Once you’d gotten there, you looked thoughtfully at the letter for a moment before leaning down and pushing it under the door. Before leaving, you gave the door a quiet knock, knowing he would hear it, and rushed away so he wouldn’t see you.
It was stupid to be worried about him seeing you, you’d literally just given him a letter proclaiming love and you’d signed your name. But, you couldn’t stand the thought of him opening the door and seeing you there and then having to explain what you were doing there, that was just awkward.
You were deep in thought as you walked back to your apartment, you were on autopilot as you walked into your empty apartment and sat on the sofa. Your thoughts were silent until you realised what you’d just done and you started to panic slightly. You don't know how long you sat on your sofa, staring into space, panicking internally, but you were grateful for the knock on your door for pulling you out of your little trance. However, when you opened the door, the reason for your panic stood in front of you.
“Bucky, hi…” you said awkwardly, staring into his beautiful eyes. He stayed silent for a while with a contemplating expression and you couldn't force yourself to say anything. After what seemed like a lifetime, he took a step closer to you and your breath caught in your throat. He leaned down slightly, his face getting closer and closer until he stopped close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips.
Your eyes dropped to his lips and you wet your own, a movement that he watched. Instead of waiting for him to close the distance, you leaned in the small amount needed and touched your lips to his. You threaded your hands into his hair and he rested his on your hips, it didn't take long for him to start kissing you back. The kiss stayed sweet and when you pulled away from each other, he rested his forehead on yours and he spoke.
“I love you too, doll” the dopey smile on his face caused your heart to stutter and you couldn’t stop mirroring his smile.
You’d have to thank Thor and Loki one day.