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Uraraka smiled as she opened the door, a small wave the only motion she made as she and Iida joined them in the hallway, Midoriya smiling to the pair. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s ok, needs some medicine in about twenty minutes – there’s a schedule on his desk. He’s just quiet and sleeping mostly.” Iida said, shrugging slightly. “It was weird, he’s so nice when he’s ill.”
“Yeah, he didn’t even use any of his nicknames. It was odd to hear him talk like that.”
“Kacchan does that, I think he realises that he’s not well and feels like he has to be nice or people won’t help him.” Midoriya almost whispered, seeing his first friend asleep on his bed. “Thank you, we’ll take it from here.”
Iida and Uraraka bid them a silent farewell, their footsteps light to not wake Bakugo as they walked away from the open door, Todoroki and Midoriya slipping inside his room and gently closing it behind them. “I thought that he didn’t really like you, how do you know what he’s like when he’s ill?”
Midoriya thought for a moment as he sat in the chair next to Bakugo’s bed, his lips curled in a small smile. “Well, when we were younger, Kacchan collapsed at school. He always worked so hard but this was just before exams and he wasn’t looking after himself, I was the only one there with him so I carried him home and helped him to his room. When I tried to leave, he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the bed with him and refused to let me go for about an hour. When he was better, he made me promise not to tell anyone because he didn’t want people to think him weak. This is the first time he’s been this bad since.”
“You must really care about him.”
“Of course I do, it’s Kacchan! He’s always been there and… well, he’s gotten better recently, me being horrible to him wouldn’t change the way he treats me and being nice is easier so…” Todoroki smiled, Midoriya grinning as he pulled his legs onto the seat, crossed underneath him and clasped with his hands.
“I remember the first time I was ill; I had a fever but where I was so young, I couldn’t control my quirk properly and I set fire to my bed. My mum spent hours coating my pillow with frost to try and keep me cool… and to put out any more fires I started.”
“Everyone needs someone to look after them when they’re ill, even strong people like you and Kacchan. I’m just glad that everyone’s helping, I know he can be mean and I know that he’s gotten off on the wrong foot with a lot of people but he needs kindness, hopefully, we can make everything better with that.”
Bakugo stirred in his bed, Midoriya quickly glancing over before he looked to the schedule on his desk, glancing to Todoroki. “Can you take his temperature while I get the medicine ready?”
“Of course.” The pair switched, Todoroki taking the seat as Midoriya looked at the pills, mumbling to himself.
“Stop the muttering you… damn Deku.” Bakugo’s eyes fluttered as Todoroki took the towel from his head, forming ice with one hand and melting it with the other, smiling to Bakugo as he opened his eyes. “Hey, Todoroki…”
“Wow, Iida was right, you are using our names.”
“I can’t be bothered to waste energy remembering anything else.” Bakugo’s voice was almost a whisper, Todoroki gently placing his hand on Bakugo’s forehead. “I’m fine… don’t need you to look after me, haven’t got a fever-”
“Bakugo, you’re about as cold as an inferno, you have a fever, you’re not being a burden, let us look after you.”
“I can look after myself.” Todoroki pushed Bakugo down as he tried to sit up, Bakugo’s eyes widening as the dual-haired man smiled. “I can…”
“I know but we can help so… let us?” Bakugo pouted and it was the most adorable thing Todoroki had ever seen, shaking his head as he placed a now ice-covered hand at the back of Bakugo’s neck, feeling him press into the touch.
“Knew you were good for something…” He whispered, leaning closer to his hand as Midoriya joined them. “Hey Deku…”
“How comes he doesn’t say your name when he’s ill?”
“Because I’ll always be Deku.” Midoriya smiled to Bakugo, showing him the pills in one hand and glass of water in the other. “Come on, take these and then you can sleep again.”
“Don’t wanna sleep, wanna train-”
“Kacchan.” Midoriya’s voice was stern, his friend almost scowling before Todoroki was helping him to sit up, Bakugo’s mouth opening and his tongue lolling out. “Such a baby.” Midoriya passed him the water, dropping the medicine on Bakugo’s tongue as Todoroki laughed, Bakugo downing the water and swallowing it all.
“You tell anyone-”
“And you’ll kill me, I know.” Bakugo almost smiled, lying back down before Todoroki put the towel back on his head.
“I’m… not sleepy.” Bakugo’s eyes betrayed him, closing even as he spoke, yawning as Midoriya ruffled his hair. “Deku-”
“Sleep now Kacchan, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to train.”
“You better… damn Deku…” Midoriya pulled his hand away, Todoroki smiling to him as he took a seat at Bakugo’s desk.
“You know you’re not getting that hand back, right?”
Todoroki looked to Midoriya before looking back to his hand trapped beneath Bakugo’s neck, his lips pressing together before he simply pulled the chair closer, sitting right next to Bakugo’s head before he looked to Midoriya. “He can have it for now; he needs it more than I do.”
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Todoroki groaned as his eyes opened, wiping the dribble from his chin with his free hand before he looked around the room, Midoriya gone and Bakugo tossing and turning in the bed. Todoroki took the towel away quickly, his hand checking Bakugo’s temperature before he was starting to cool the other, Bakugo’s eyes and nose scrunching up as he tried to push away from Todoroki’s hand. “It’s ok… it’s ok Bakugo…” Todoroki whispered, glancing to the bathroom.
His eyes shot open, breath coming in fast and hard pants as he looked around the room quickly, eyes meeting Todoroki’s. “De…ku?”
“He’s in the bathroom.” Bakugo took a deep breath, Todoroki pulling his hand from underneath his neck and instead running it through his hair. “He did this earlier; it calms you down, right? Everything is ok, Bakugo.”
“I don’t, how can I, no, I can’t, we have to-”
“You have to rest, it’s ok Bakugo. Everything is alright, Midoriya is in the bathroom, I am right here. Nothing has changed since you went to sleep, nothing will change if you go to sleep again.” Bakugo’s lip was shaking, his eyes almost filling with tears before he was sitting up quickly, pulling Todoroki into his arms in a tight hug.
Todoroki froze for a moment before he was hugging Bakugo back, hands firm on his back as Bakugo’s hands fisted in his shirt. “It’s ok, I’m here for you, we’re both here Bakugo. Nothing is going to hurt you, I swear it.” Tears were spilling down Bakugo’s cheeks now, hitting Todoroki’s shirt before he heard the door open behind him, Midoriya pausing in the doorway.
“Kacchan?” Bakugo looked over Todoroki’s shoulder, Midoriya smiling as he joined them on the bed, seeing Todoroki’s hand running through his hair. “A nightmare?”
“You were gone… you were gone and I couldn’t get you back and-” Bakugo almost let out a sob, Midoriya’s hand rubbing his back as he held Todoroki closer. “If either of you breathes a word about-”
“Bakugo, stop, you’re allowed to have emotions.” Todoroki interrupted, Bakugo pulling away from him, wiping his eyes as he looked between the pair. “Hiding all of this, bottling it all up, it’s not good for you, we’re here to help. It doesn’t make you look weak; it makes you stronger than all of us. Emotions aren’t something to run away from, use them to your advantage.”
“Todoroki is right Bakugo, we’re not here to judge you, we’re here to help you – you can let it out.” Bakugo simply hugged them as he cried, an arm around each of them and four arms tight around his torso. “What do you think triggered this one?”
“There… it was a nightmare. Everyone was gone and you were, Deku you-” Bakugo took a deep breath, letting them go as he wiped his eyes again. “Fuck, I must look so stupid right now!”
“You don’t, everyone has nightmares.” Todoroki almost whispered, a small smile on his lips. “Kaminari can cause blackouts when he has one, Uraraka wakes up floating in the air, I’ve frozen my bed too many times to count – not to mention setting fire to it. We’re heroes, nightmares are an occupational hazard.”
“This isn’t because of hero shit though, it’s…” Bakugo pressed his lips into a thin line, sighing. “My mum is shit with emotions, always has been. When I used to have nightmares, I couldn’t just go and wake her up, I’d deal with it. She wanted me strong, I wanted me strong… if my own thoughts haunt me, how am I strong?!”
“Bakugo, you’re one of the strongest people I know and knowing that you have nightmares doesn't change that.” Todoroki’s hands rested on Bakugo’s cheeks; the explosion hero forced to stare into his eyes. “Nightmares are a part of life, what matters is how we deal with them. If you want to hug people and cry then you do it, emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. I get it, I used to be the same, Midoriya helped me to not think the way I used to.”
“Yeah…?”
“Yeah, I didn’t have a single peaceful night sleep in my house and I couldn’t tell anyone about nightmares but my mum and she’s… well, you know. Midoriya found my door frozen shut when we first moved to the dorms and he punched it down to make sure I was ok. Nightmares don’t make you weak, they make you human.”
“Kacchan, it’s ok. We’re here for you, no matter how long it takes or how often you need us.” His cheek pressed into Todoroki’s warm hand, nodding as his own hand found Midoriya’s.
“Can… I can just call you whenever this happens?”
“Of course, it’s what friends do.” Todoroki smiled as Bakugo looked to him, seeing fresh tears fill his eyes as Midoriya nodded in agreement. “But for now, you’re still not fully better so you need sleep, we’re not going anywhere, I swear it.”
Bakugo nodded, Todoroki moving to stand from the bed before Bakugo gently gripped his wrist. “You’re warm, can you… stay with me? You too Deku, I don’t… I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
The pair looked to each other and then glanced to the bed, shrugging before they started to pull at the covers, all slipping inside, Bakugo in the middle with Todoroki on his right with Midoriya curled against his left, arm across his stomach. “Thank you.” Todoroki smiled as he looked up to Bakugo, his head resting on the pillows, the trio snuggling close as they fell asleep.
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Todoroki rubbed at his eyes as he yawned, sunlight hitting his face through the open blinds, eyes narrowed as he looked to the room around him, the cleanliness and order and the perfection of every placement. “Hey… how’d you sleep?” Todoroki looked up, seeing Bakugo looking to him as Todoroki’s head left his chest.
“Good, thanks, sorry about the… you’re looking better.” Bakugo smiled, seeing Todoroki gesture to the small damp patch on Bakugo’s shirt, the blonde shrugging.
“It could be worse, you’re alright.” Todoroki sat up, seeing Bakugo look back to Midoriya, a soft smile on his lips. “You… you’ve been through some shit, yeah?”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“Do you think you could ever forgive the person who put you through that?” Todoroki paused, Bakugo’s eyes soft and shiny with small tears, the hand around Midoriya’s shoulders gently tracing patterns on his skin.
“Honestly, I don’t know. My… shit is very different to the thing that happened between you two but… I think Midoriya forgave you a long time ago. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t let himself be vulnerable like this in front of you. I think the only person you have left to forgive is yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you think about Midoriya, what do you think of?”
“The friend that I hurt and bullied when he needed me most.”
“You’ve got to let that go,” Todoroki whispered, shaking his head. “I used to look in the mirror and see someone who was weak and controlled and couldn’t think for themselves, I had to get over that hurdle myself – I had to change how I saw me. Forgiveness starts with yourself. You were a different person then than you are now, think of all the things you’ve done since then and how much you’ve changed. You’re a better person than you think you are.”
“It’s that easy?”
“I never said it was easy but… it is possible. You’ll get there, you’re already on your way.” Bakugo sniggered, Todoroki feeling himself blush at the softness of the whole situation.
“Thank you.”
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A week had passed since Midoriya and Todoroki had stayed with Bakugo that night, both of them sitting on a sofa in the dorms and simply waiting. “So… just a note under your door?”
“Yes, same as you. What do you think he wants?”
“I don’t know but… at least he’s talking now? He’s been really quiet all week; it’s been odd.” Midoriya’s hands almost knotted together in his lap, eyes closing as he thought. “Do you think we overwhelmed him the other day? He’s hardly said a word since.”
“I’m not sure… maybe he was just thinking.” Todoroki smiled as Midoriya looked to him, his eyes narrowed as Todoroki laughed. “He seems like a different person, I doubt he was overwhelmed, maybe he finally thought about it in a different way.”
There was a crash from the kitchen, the pair looking to each other before they stood, seeing Bakugo poke his head out, scowling at them. “Sit back down shitbags!” Midoriya smiled before he was shaking his head, Todoroki looking to him in confusion before Midoriya was sitting back down.
“What the hell is he doing?”
“Kacchan likes to cook.” Todoroki narrowed his eyes as the door opened again, Bakugo with a small apron around his waist, two plates of food in his hands. Todoroki slowly sat back down, as Bakugo placed the food on the coffee table. “What did you make…?”
“Well, I made your favourites.” He muttered, lifting the cloches from the plates and smiling. “Midoriya, a Katsudon, Todoroki… cold soba noodles.” Todoroki’s eyes almost glowed as he looked to the food, licking his lips before he looked back up to Bakugo. “You two… you helped a lot; you really did and this… this is my way of saying thank you. Don’t get used to it!”
“What have you got?” Todoroki asked, Midoriya smirking slightly.
“What?”
“What are you eating? It’d be great if you can join us.” Bakugo almost blushed, nodding slightly before he went back out to the kitchen, a spicy smelling curry in his hands when he returned. “This looks delicious, thank you.”
“Thanks, Kacchan!”
“Just… eat up already!”
“Itadakimasu!” The trio ate in comfortable silence, only speaking to compliment Bakugo on his cooking or to offer a bite of their food to each other, small snippets of conversation sneaking through. Others joined them, no one commenting on Bakugo’s attitude change, no one bothering, they were just glad to see him being so openly happy.
Because, for the first time in too long, Bakugo didn’t feel the worries that normally plagued him.
He just felt happy.