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Yearn for More

Summary:

The red head watched as Ralph delicately grew apart from the crowd and made his way down a less occupied hallway.

Jack found it hard to think as his affiliation made his way deeper down the corridor and away from his scrutinizing gaze. The music was so loud the redhead couldn’t even hear himself think. Everything was too fucking loud. It was hard to concentrate. His heart began to ache as the blond was no longer in his line of sight, leaving him to bask in his loneliness once more.

He was always close, but never close enough; frustratingly unattainable.

Notes:

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Work Text:

“There is a halo in your mouth and I like how it burns.”

 

______

 

The upbeat music blasted throughout the house, ricocheting off the walls and vibrating his already intoxicated being. The dainty house was cramped with too many students, those he knew and others he never bothered to acknowledge. He recognized a few who had cared enough to show up to the party, or what others apparently called “a celebration of their last few days of class”. The last few days of his high school career were nearing so he guessed the celebration was fitting. It was a Saturday after all so why not try and have some fun at least?


He recognized Roger, Bill, Maurice and a few other choristers who decided to tag along with Jack, strung out in the crowd. A drink in each of their hands; they were obviously sloshed by the way they were barely standing. They all looked absolutely ridiculous. Roger was the only one who looked to be somewhat sober, which didn’t come as a surprise to Jack as the noiret practically downed some type of liquor on the daily. He always managed to sneak some sort of alcohol into his locker to share with Jack whenever he felt like it.

 

Jack watched the crowd from the sidelines. His back pressed up against the wall closest to the front door, still debating on whether he really wanted to be here or not. The only reason he and the other choristers showed up to the occasion was for the free alcohol and to keep face. Jack and the others kept their status of being the “popular group” amongst their classmates for many years, in which they managed to up hold by going to these stupid parties, joining most of their schools sport teams, and many other tedious duties that never seemed to please Jack. The fights though, Jack always enjoyed those. Roger did as well of course, probably a little bit more than him. He and Roger always managed to cause a little bit of trouble at school despite their popular image amongst the masses. Students both loved and feared them, teachers as well. 

 

Jack watched as a ditzy blonde hung herself over Roger, desperately trying to get the other to dance with her, swaying the back of her hips against his trying to match the rhythm of the music. Jack snorted at the embarrassing attempt, watching as Roger pushed her away and made his way towards him, as if he knew Jack had been watching all along. Roger probably did with how keen he was. That bastard was always so observant. It pissed him off.

 

“Looks like you’re enjoying yourself, Chief.” 

 

Jack rolled his eyes at the silly nickname. “Yeah, and it looks like you’re never gonna stop fucking calling me that. When are we going to get the hell out of here?” 

 

Roger smirked at his obvious irritation and took a long swig of whatever he was drinking. He raised his eyebrows at Jack and nodded towards the crowd. “You want to leave already? But that pretty little bint over there was just talking about how much she was dying to snog you.”

 

Jack scoffed at the mention of the headmaster's daughter that Roger never seemed to get tired of talking about. Jack knew he only did it to piss him off and most of the time he was successful. She always had a thing for him and never seemed to leave him alone, an absolute annoyance on his part. There were times where he seriously considered hooking up with her just to pass her along and watch her cry about it, only to prove a point. He never did though, she wasn’t worth the time and effort. No one was according to him.

 

 “Yeah, well it looked like she was really enjoying you out there.”  

 

Roger responded with a haughty laugh, his lips settling into a teasing smirk that he normally flashed Jack whenever the redhead had something he found funny. He leaned in towards Jack's ear making sure he spoke loud enough for him to hear over the music, but quiet enough so others wouldn’t.

 

“Don’t worry. I know why you’re really here Chief and it’s not for some ugly girl, now is it?”

 

Jack froze on the spot. He knew all too well who Roger was referring to. 

 

Roger pulled away, pleased by Jack’s sudden change in stance. “Last time I saw him he was near the punch bowl in the kitchen. You better go get him quick though, he’s never where you want him to be now is he?” Another giggle escaped him, making Jacks inside churn at how smug the other was.

 

Jack grabbed Roger by the front of his collar and pulled the noiret towards him, anger flaring within him only to settle into the pit of his stomach. 

 

“Roger, I swear to fucking god-“

 

He grabbed onto Jack’s wrists and lightly twisted, causing Jack to loosen his grip on Rogers now crinkled shirt.

 

“Relax. I know how to keep my distance Chief. Besides, I’ve got my eye on someone else tonight.” 

 

Roger gave him a wink before he abruptly left, disappearing within the crowd. Whoever Roger was talking about and wherever the fuck he was going didn’t matter to him as long as the other decided to leave him the hell alone for the rest of the goddamn night. 

 

Though he had a hunch it was probably one of the twins he was after. 

 

Jack pushed himself off the wall and made his way towards the kitchen, desperately in need of more alcohol to calm himself down from Rogers irritating existence. ‘Always a goddamn pain in my ass.’

 

He grabbed another beer off the counter and proceeded to down it. Whatever it was and who owned it at this point didn’t matter to him. He made his way from the kitchen and towards the back of the house, the crowd of students growing thicker and harder to push through. The air too became harder to breathe.

 

His eyes traced over many faces in search of a specific someone. None of them stood out to him as he continued to push through students, not giving a damn about who he bumped into. Some students sober enough to notice cursed at him telling him to watch where he was going, others just stumbled to the side.

 

Jack found himself near a large staircase leading up to a loft and decided to park it for a bit. He sat on the bottom step away from where a few others stood along the railing and continued to take a few swigs of his drink, trying to make it last as long as he could.

 

His eyes continued to scout the party goers, looking for a very specific shade of blond hair. He was always on the hunt for this one, never truly satisfied. 

 

Just as he was about to give up his search, thinking that the boy might have already left the party, his blue eyes landed on a golden haired boy stuffed into a corner. His breath hitched in his throat. He stood out perfectly from the attendees, practically almost glowing under the low lit lamps around him.

 

Jack squinted his eyes to get a better look and noticed that his target was completely surrounded by girls. ‘Fucking great.’

 

He watched as the girls huddled around the boy, giggling amongst themselves as they stared up at all the teacher’s favorite little pet. The pride and joy of his school. The complete opposite of him.

 

Ralph was the obsession that had plagued his mind and entire being ever since the two had clashed heads back in his tenth year. Jack could never forget that day, no matter how hard he tried.

 

How a stupid argument broke out between the two during PE class that ended up with both of them on the grass, punching and kicking the living shit out of each other. It was the first time anyone had ever stood up to Jack, even before Roger came along. 

 

The two had fought for dominance that day. Each of them trying to remain on top of the other, rolling around in the dirt desperately trying to pin the other down with violent punches. A lot of blood and tears were spilled. Ralph in the end managed to overpower Jack and ended up on top before teachers intervened and pulled them apart. 

 

They both went home with broken noses and a few chunks of hair missing. 

 

The fact that someone finally managed to beat him twisted his gut and bent his ego much to his dismay, and the fact that that someone out of all the goddamn blokes that went to his school was fucking Ralph, never sat well with him. Jack never understood how the school's favorite student managed to dismantle him so easily. Ralph had always appeared weak and useless to him, until it was apparent that the bloke was anything but. 



That was probably the reason why Jack always found himself longing for the other. No one had ever stood up to Jack the way Ralph did. Hell, no one even tried to do it after Ralph, as if he rightfully earned the title of “beating the shit out of Jack Merridew”. That’s what went around the school the next day anyways. That Jack had his ass rightfully handed to him.  


Nonetheless, Jack couldn’t get Ralph out of his head ever since. Was it another fight he was looking for? Another argument?

 

Jack never fucking knew. The only thing he knew was that the other had some sort of hold on him. A gravitational pull that always brought Jack towards him in need of physical touch and undivided attention. He knew it was something he would never consensually receive. Ralph hated his guts, that much was evident.

 

How the blond would continually shoot daggers at him over the years whenever they passed each other in the hallway or whenever Jack prodded him with stupid jokes and snide remarks when he had the chance. It was always rare and one sided though. Jack was always the instigator, Ralph only responded whenever he felt like acknowledging him. On the few occasions Jack spoke to the other, he was doing it to get a reaction out of him. To see Ralph’s complexion switch from a smooth pale to a furious red. He liked poking fun at him. The blond always had interesting reactions after all. 

 

Jack just enjoyed seeing the other embarrassed and wither under his words. It helped cover up the bruise of his already throbbing ego that Ralph had damaged. 

 

It was no wonder how Roger found out about his apparent affiliation for the other. The noiret had noticed the way Jack would constantly stare at the blond whenever he was near or how Jack would flick or trip the other just to touch him in some way. The day Roger accused him about it in the school parking lot during one of their smoke breaks was the day his secret finally had a mold. Jack couldn’t hide it from Roger, the other was too attentive and skillful. Soon after, Roger started using the blond against him to spite him just as he did a few moments ago. 

 

Roger was the same as Jack in wanting to get a reaction out of people, and he did it wonderfully whenever he mentioned Ralph to him. 

 

It never stopped Jack's poking and prodding of the blond boy though, but it did hurt some that Ralph never paid as much attention to him as always hoped. He normally found Ralph surrounded by many other intelligent students who thought that they were better than everyone else around them, more than likely due to their perfect attendance and outstanding scores. It appeared Ralph was too occupied to pay attention to Jack, no matter how malicious he was.

 

The fact grew increasingly irritating as the years flew by and both grew older. Ralph was too busy with school work and impressing the teachers to notice Jack's obvious teases, so he at times switched to different methods. There would be times when he would notice Ralph walking in the hall towards him and Jack would purposely brush up against the shorter boy, lightly running his hand up the side of his arm to see if that would do anything. It rarely did. Only once did Ralph actually turn around and cuss him out, telling him to “not fucking touch him ever again.”

 

That very event transpired just last Friday and Jack had been riding off the feeling ever since. The rush of satisfaction he felt caused by Ralph's flustered state of confusion and some other feelings that he dared not acknowledge kept him going when the boy wasn’t around.

 

Jack continued to stare as Ralph conversed with the horde of girls stuffing him in the corner. He looked relaxed around them which was usual for the blond as he was almost always surrounded by a harem.

 

Jack’s eyes trailed down the boy's impressive figure, his mouth beginning to run dry. Ralph had always kept up with his appearance. Always looking well kept and clean in front of others, never seen in lazy attire of any sort. Another thing that just pissed him off.

 

He always had to look so perfect. So delectable .

 

Jack never grew tired of looking at him. Taking him in and devouring him in his psyche. The other was impeccable. Oh so incredibly impeccable. Not a single sin to be detected. No flaw in sight.

 

His target finally moved from the girls, forcing himself out of their grasp and making his way from them, their whines of protest following him in close pursuit. He said a few apologies and waved them off, that gentle smile he always wore for others never wavering.

 

The red head watched as Ralph delicately grew apart from the crowd and made his way down a less occupied hallway.

 

Jack found it hard to think as his affiliation made his way deeper down the corridor and away from his scrutinizing gaze. The music was so loud the redhead couldn’t even hear himself think. Everything was too fucking loud. It was hard to concentrate. His heart began to ache as the blond was no longer in his line of sight, leaving him to bask in his loneliness once more. 

 

He was always close, but never close enough; frustratingly unattainable.

 

Jack sprung up and chased after the other without a second thought, pushing through the sweaty students towards the hallway Ralph had entered. Frustration that had built up over the course of weeks, months, years of being ignored finally spilling over the edge. Jack could no longer contain it. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through his veins that got him to his feet and on the hunt. Whatever the cause Jack was in need. Desperately in need.

 

He turned the corner and entered the hallway, catching the blond boy opening a door to what appeared to be a bedroom. How Ralph apparently knew the layout of the house didn’t matter to him. He started walking towards the other, not trying to conceal his presence this time like he normally did before his harassing. 

 

As soon as he was close enough he took a hold of the other by the back of his shoulders and shoved him inside the room. A surprised gasp left Ralph before Jack slammed the door shut and locked it. Concealing both of them together in a strange, confined bedroom. Both boys kept away from the boisterous students and god awful music. Completely isolated from the world right outside the old wooden door Jack had boxed them in with.

 

Ralph turned around to see who exactly shoved him in the dark room and locked eyes with Jack. Piercing azure eyes mixing with light, baby blue. 

 

“Merridew what the absolute fuck are you doing?!” Ralph's voice depicted nothing but anger. A delicious emotion Jack had missed relishing in. The shorter boy stepped back from the other and changed his stance. Ralph was on the defense now, no longer looking as relaxed as he did before. Jack couldn’t help but smirk.

 

“Sounds like someone’s surprised to see me. How’ve you been Ralph it’s been awhile hasn’t it?” Jack decided to play it coy. Something he managed to perfect over the years when it came to not only the blond, but to many other classmates and teachers as well.

 

 It was a sure fire way of getting the other to react to him.

 

“Merridew, move out of my way or I’m going to make you.” 

 

Ralph’s venomous response caused a hot feeling to claw at his insides. Jack stepped away from the door and slowly stalked towards Ralph, walking around him. The other watched him intently, his feet remained planted on the hardwood floor, never shifting. “Come on Ralph why don’t we talk for a bit. We’ve never really had an actual conversation you know.” Jack tried to hide the yearning in his voice.

 

Ralph scoffed. “That’s cause I hate your sodding guts. Now get out of my fucking way and piss off.”

 

Jack stopped circling and planted himself right in front of the other once more, blocking the only way out.

 

“Trust me I know you hate me, but why do you hate me?”

 

“You seriously need me to tell you why I hate you? Is your ego that big that you don’t even have room for a brain up there? Or do you just like hearing people talk about you?”

 

Ralph’s voice was beginning to rise, however Jack couldn’t see the red anger on his face with the room being too dark. He could picture it nicely though.

Ralph moved around him, shoving his shoulder against his and reached for the door handle. Jack quickly followed, placing his hand on top of the already half open door and slammed it shut. His body was dangerously close to the other. His body loomed over the shorter boy and he was so close that he could feel the hot breath of the other on his chest. Jack noticed the pleasant aroma of mint and a hint of liquor. Ralph's body reeled away from him and he lengthened the distance between them, stepping back further into the room. A frown settled upon Jack's lips but was quickly wiped away at his successful attempt of keeping the other inside. “Jack-”

 

“Seriously can we just talk? That’s all I want to do honestly.” Jack cut him off, but didn’t forget to notice the way Ralph had said his first name instead of his last, which was incredibly rare. His breath hitched in his throat at the notion.

 

Ralph let out a sigh and threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine. You wanna talk we’ll talk. You know why I hate you so fucking much Merridew?” Ralph stalked forward with a finger pointed towards him. His voice continued to rise as he spoke.

 

“It’s because all you do is cause trouble for other people around you and you’re so bloody cocky. The only thing you care about is hurting other people to stay on top. That’s all you and your batty friends know how to do. It’s disgusting.”

 

Jack cringed at how the word ‘disgusting’ was practically spat at him. He could’ve sworn he even felt a bit of spit from the other land on his cheek. It in return made him feel like so. “Contrary to popular belief, that’s not true. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass and stopped thinking so highly of yourself you’d notice that there are people who actually exist around you other than yourself.” Jack retorted with just as much venom he had received from the blond, grinning in satisfaction at the way the other had blinked at him in confusion. It was as if no one had told him before that he was an arrogant prick. More than likely that was the case since he was surrounded by others who literally kissed the ground he walked on.

 

The redhead took a single step forward and pushed the other on the chest, lightly, but harsh enough to shove him back a foot or two. Ralph remained silent. The thumping music in the background grew quieter as Jack’s heart beat rang loud within him waiting for a response. He was always waiting .

 

“Why so shocked Ralph? Has no one ever told you what you actually are? You’re an arrogant son of a bitch just as much as I am.” 

 

“Don’t ever compare me to you Merridew. I am nothing like you!” 

 

Jack shook his head. “Sure, keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you rest your pretty little head at night.” He drew out the last few words slowly, leaning in closer to the other.

 

Jack felt the punch before he saw it. Ralph swung at him so fast that he wasn’t able to take in another breath before he found himself on the floor with a throbbing jaw. He clutched the side of his face and looked up at a triumphant Ralph. The blond’s chest was heaving up and down heavily, his left hand was still formed in a fist as he stared down at Jack.


There was a familiar glint in his eyes that Jack had noticed years ago. Ralph was sporting the same look as he did the time he dealt Jack one last punch before the teachers interrupted them that fateful day. It was the last punch that had broken Jack's nose. The broken nose he was sent home with only to piss his parents off about the medical bill they were going to have to pay just to fix it. The look in Ralph’s eyes was one of bitterness and anguish, with a hint of something indescribable that Jack always pondered on from time to time. Even now Jack could not determine what it was.

 

“Why so shocked Jack? What? Has no one ever knocked you on your ass before?”

 

The redhead remained as still as the air between them. “Oh that’s right.” Ralph boastfully continued when it was evident that he wasn’t going to respond. “It’s been a while since I was the one that knocked you on your ass.”

 

Jack completely forgot about his bruising jaw as he lunged himself off the floor and straight into the unsuspecting boy, embracing him and shoving him backwards. He took Ralph by surprise, just as much as he when the boy had struck him. The back of Ralphs legs collided with the side of the bed resting in the middle of the room and he lost his footing, sending both of them onto the thin mattress with the ginger landing on top. 

 

Before Ralph could try to do anything to push him off, Jack grabbed his wrists and restrained them on either side of the blonds’ head, pinning him down in place. He shifted all of his upper body weight onto his stomach, straddling Ralph for extra precaution. They breathed sporadically in unison. Jack stared down at him, his eyes slowly tracing over the other beneath him, observing every smooth curve and angle. He bit his lip as a hot feeling found its way to the bottom of his stomach. He desperately tried to ignore the throbbing sensation in his groin, but found it hard to do so with Ralph’s hot breath on him, beginning to make him sweat. 

 

“You know what Ralph…just because you managed to land a few good one’s back then doesn’t actually mean shit. You’re still the same annoying, weak fuck you were years before.”

 

Ralph responded with a laugh, although Jack was able to make out how forced it sounded. “Really Merridew? Is that how you see me? I could’ve sworn you thought much higher of me than that.” He leaned in closer to Jack despite the fact that the two were already pressing noses.

 

“You know, with the way you can’t keep your goddamn eyes off me that is.”

 

Jack froze. The blood in his veins ran cold as he tried to grasp what Ralph had just said to him.

 

He knew. 

 

“You think I didn’t notice? How you’re always pushing me around, bothering me to get my attention. Seriously Jack it’s pretty fucking embarrassing I almost feel sorry for you.”

 

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

 

Jack tried to play it cool, he really did. He couldn’t stop himself from deteriorating under Ralph’s antagonizing statement. The way he had somehow managed to leave Jack completely immobilized despite the position he was in underneath him, literally at a disadvantage being pinned to the bed. 

 

The blond forced himself closer, making his way up towards the side of Jack’s face, stopping to breathe down the side of his neck. It took everything within him not to flinch away. 

 

Ralph whispered in his ear. Quietly and slowly, as if the two were sharing a dirty little secret they didn’t want others to partake in.

 

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

 

Jack instantly lost all sense of coherence, so he did the only thing he deemed fitting. He smashed his chapped lips against the other. Despite every alarm system in his body telling him to pull away and that he shouldn’t have done it, he was unable to withdraw from the plush lips of the other. Jack bit on his bottom lip and pulled, earning a seductive gasp from the other. The redhead removed his hands from the others' wrists and secured them in his hair, taking a swift mental note of how soft the tresses were. He continued kissing the unresponsive boy, running his tongue along the bottom of his bitten lip begging for entrance. When it was clear Ralph wasn’t going to give in, he yanked on the back of his hair, craning his neck and made his way to his next designated spot.

 

Jack pulled down the collar of Ralph's dress shirt that fit him a little bit too well and began circling his tongue along the front of his shoulder, nipping at certain spots trying to earn another choke from the boy beneath him. Before he had the chance to mark him, Ralph twisted his body causing Jack to lose his hold on the other, and with the newfound distance Ralph created, he grabbed Jack and pushed him off to the side. Jack’s back roughly landed on the stingy mattress, causing the headboard to bounce off the wall violently, and as he tried to recollect himself, Ralph copied Jack’s move and placed himself on top, sitting on his stomach and intertwining his legs with his own. Ralph laced his fingers into Jack's, placing his hands above his head. Jack hissed at the growing pressure in his shoulders as his arms were stretched above him a little bit too high for comfort. 

 

Jack couldn’t truly determine how Ralph was going to react with him now having the upper hand. He was expecting a kick to the groin, a punch to the stomach, or another strike to the jaw, possibly even another broken nose. However, he found himself pleasantly shocked when the blond smashed his already bruised lips against his own, returning the kiss Jack had bestowed upon him. The redhead welcomed his warmth, matching the boy's pace and bucking his hips up against Ralph. Jack was happy to see that the blond was as hard as he was. 

 

Jack began running his hands up and down Ralphs hips, making his way towards the bottom of his shirt and sneaking one of his hands under. His cold hands ran along warm lines of Ralph's abdominal muscles. Jack had always wondered what the boy looked like underneath his school uniform and now that he was tracing the outline of his body, the urge to yank his shirt off and see what he had imagined for so long with his own two eyes significantly grew within him.

 

Ralph slipped his tongue in his mouth and Jack responded by pushing his own muscle against his, fighting for his fair share of dominance. Ralph reluctantly pulled away for a much needed breath of air, only after giving Jack's bottom lip one last lick. Jack in return groaned at the absence of the others' embrace. 

 

Ralph chuckled.

 

“Didn’t expect that did you, Merridew?” 

 

Jack’s blue eyes traced over Ralph’s hazed ones. A genuine smile found its way to his face and he let out a laugh.

 

“No, I didn’t. I was expecting you to break my nose. All though I can say I’m definitely pleased with your reaction.”

 

“Oh I can break your nose again if you’d like. We never really got to finish our fight back then anyways.” Ralph retorted with a raised eyebrow, obviously amused with his clever jest.

 

Jack rolled his eyes and reached his hand up towards the back of Ralph’s head, pulling the boy in closer once more with their foreheads lightly touching.

 

“How about you and I get out of here. I’ve been dying to leave this shitty party anyways.”

 

Ralph planted another kiss on his lips and replied, his soft voice causing something within Jacks chest to flutter.

“Say no more Jack. Say no more.”

Notes:

If you saw any mistakes, no you didn’t.