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“Dammit! Dammit, dammit, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, no!” Louis shouted as he collapsed onto the tile in the empty bathroom. That stupid piece of plastic was ruining his life, and not even for the first time that week. He could start crying, he could shout and throw the damn thing at the wall, but he wasn’t going to do that. Instead he was going to text Liam.
Are you bsy right now?
No ?
Take me to lunch?
?
Louis rolled his eyes at the single character text. He sighed, quite loudly, and sent Liam a picture of the negative pregnancy test.
Oh. Yeah I’ll get you right now.
+
“So… how many has it been this month?” Liam asked when they finally got some privacy in the booth at the back of the restaurant.
Louis shrugged. “Five.”
“Jesus Louis.” Liam groaned. He didn’t mean to sound annoyed or anything like that, but Louis’ situation was really getting out of hand. “You need to give it a rest. It’ll happen when it happens.”
He’s right, of course he’s right, but that didn’t make Louis any less upset. He and Harry had been trying for what seemed like so long now. They’d been waiting for the chance to start a family since Harry was still a teenager for fuck’s sake. They’d been mentally ready for this for so long, so why must his body be this ridiculously stubborn about it?
They came out three years ago, much to a lot of the fans’ happiness, and were married a year later in the spring of 2016. Now that One Direction has found a good break point in their career, lots of number ones songs, record breaking album sales and all that, Harry and Louis decided it was the perfect time to have baby number one. But… Baby number one wasn’t coming as easily as they’d hoped.
Their first discussion about it was about six weeks ago, when they were a month into their break and Louis got a really bad bout of baby fever. He was googling pictures of Halloween costumes for newborns. That night he climbed on top of Harry in bed and whispered, “Hey baby, do you maybe wanna make a baby?”
Of course Harry said yes. Actually, Harry shouted yes.
It didn’t happen that first night, not that either of them really expected it to, but Louis had hoped he’d have Harry’s baby in him by now. He gave up drinking, he dropped out of playing in a charity football match in favor of coaching, and he even gave up weed just in case it would all help. All it’d done to him was make him stressed and a little fatter. He wouldn’t mind being fat if it meant he was with child, but no, that wasn't it.
“He’s just… Harry’s so excited, Li.” Louis finally said. He’d been staring at the menu, avoiding the alcohol section because it would only make him sad, at all the delicious meals. Maybe he could eat his feelings and create a food baby instead of a real one. “Ever since I brought it up and we started trying, he’s been so happy. And he’s so optimistic about it all too. Li, I’m not even pregnant yet and he made a list of gender neutral baby room themes.”
“Jungle, just do the jungle.”
“Of course we’re using the Jungle.” Louis sighed. “But Liam please focus. I think Harry’s only looking at the cute things and his mind isn’t realizing that… well we need to make the thing first.”
“Maybe… maybe you aren’t—like—having enough… um… maybe you two aren’t trying often enough.” Liam stuttered with a very faint blush on his cheeks.
Louis snorted. “Liam. Come on. This is me and Harry. You and I both know just how much sex we have. You’ve even seen it a few times.”
“Yeah, there were rules about doing it on the tour bus—“
“So I really don’t think it’s the frequency of our fucking that has anything to do with it.” Louis continued, ignoring the completely true statement from Liam. “It has to be something else.”
“Louis you’re really just being impatient. We’re all on a very long break and you two have plenty of time to knock you up.” Liam said. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
+
Nothing to worry about.
Nothing at all to worry about, even though Louis was going absolutely crazy about his lack of fetus. Nothing at all to worry about, even though he literally saw something everywhere about how “Harry wants a baby!” and there was nothing he could seem to do about it.
And Louis had been seeing this shit for years. Even before they were out, there were always posts from fans or even gossip site reports about how much Harry Styles really, really wanted a baby. “Harry stands near a baby and he’s going to steal it.” “Harry gets a pillow and he shoves it up his own shirt so he can pretend to be pregnant.” “Harry’s face lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees pregnant women.”
It was as though the need to have a family and a baby was one sided, and that Louis was indifferent. But so many people just didn’t understand. He wanted a baby too, probably more than Harry. He wasn’t allowed for so long to act a certain way, so when it came to things like that, Louis had to hold it in or mask it.
But then after they came out, not even that long before the wedding actually, Harry accidentally let slip that Louis was a carrier. And suddenly “Larry make a baby” was trending everywhere. It was fun and it was sweet of the fans to be so supportive, but now that they were really trying to have that baby… it was getting to be a bit much.
Nobody knew about it, of course the public didn’t know, and Harry was just as baby struck as ever. All the speculation about them got worse and worse every time they stepped outside. If Louis wore a baggy sweater, then magazines would say they could see a baby bump. And Harry only got more obsessed with any child they had to be around. Everyone on Earth was noticing it.
The pressure was getting to Louis, he wanted to make Harry happy, he wanted them to have the happy life they deserved so fucking much. All the sex in the world wasn’t helping.
Also not helping was the fact that Louis could not stop himself from reading all of these things. It was like a drug, looking at what everyone had to say about them. Maybe it was because he spent so many years ignoring 90% of the gossip, or maybe it was because it was literally the only vice that didn't have a physical effect on his body.
He never brought up the stories, or his own worries, to Harry, because it was so hard to bring down Harry's happy mood. The talk with Liam hadn't helped, not really, all it did was calm him for that day. All it did was put him in enough sense to throw away the negative test in a place where his husband couldn't find it. He thought about it, the stupid blue line that meant bad news, for two days.
And those thoughts made Louis grab several tabloids off the counter as he bought his lunch for the day. Harry was out with Niall and some other friends, having this big writing session, and Louis was finally left on his own for a little while. He thought maybe he could relax and escape Harry's baby talk, but being left with his thoughts only put him in a spiral of "not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant".
When Harry got home that night, Louis was on the verge of setting fire to a few tabloids. Each of them had cover stories about him already being pregnant, and showing. They used pictures of him from after a banquet, a night when he'd had a lot to eat, and claimed the food pouch on his stomach was "Little baby Stylinson!" Those pricks.
"Evening Sweetheart." Harry cooed, hands connecting with Louis' shoulders over the back of their couch, and sliding down over his chest. Harry left a quick kiss to Louis' hair, and smirked when he saw the magazines. "Oh my god, this again. Honestly, I don't know why you even look at those."
"Maybe I find 'em funny." Louis remarked, voice tight.
Apparently his husband didn't notice the stiffness in his voice, because he kept kissing all over, down Louis' neck, to his ear to whisper, "Missed you today. Think I wrote three songs about you."
"You're slacking then." Louis said, shrugging to get Harry off. It didn't work.
"Was distracted." Harry mumbled, bringing one hand up to Louis' chin, turning the man's head to look at him. "How about we make an honest paper out of the sun, yeah? Come on Lou, let's make a baby."
And that's--that was exactly the last thing Louis needed to hear right now. He couldn't help it, all the pressure and the worry and Harry's completely oblivious attitude--it piled up. Louis snapped.
"Oh fuck off!" Louis yelled, shoving his husband's arms off once and for all. He pushed himself off the couch and walked to the opposite wall, staring out the window with his arms crossed over his chest. "Why don't you get knocked up then! You and the whole bloody world make it sound so fookin' easy! You do it!"
"But, Louis I'm not the carrier, you are." Harry said in a puzzled tone. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"I'm sick of this!" Louis spat, turning back around, eyes seeing red. "I'm sick of the constant nagging and speculating! I'm sick of people invading on this! I-I can't believe you told people I was a carrier! I still can't fuckin' believe it!"
"Lou, Sweet, that was an accident, you know that." Harry said, slowly walking to the other side of the couch.
"God, I don't care! Do you know how hard this is for me?" Louis continued to shout, throwing his hands in the air. "Do you know what my life is even like now? Can your mind even comprehend how difficult it is to be me?"
"I-I know people print those things, but you can't get upset. Everyone's just excited is all." Harry said softly.
It did nothing to calm Louis' hysteria. "Jesus Bloody Christ! Excited? Harry. I have to go through every day hearing comments about how not pregnant I am. All anyone does lately, the fans and interviewers, all they talk about is how I'm not pregnant! I'm constantly seeing things written about how much you need a baby. How 'oh, Harry always freaks out around babies!' or 'Harry is gonna steal that person's baby!' or 'why isn't Louis knocked up yet? Doesn't he know how much Harry needs a baby?' and--and it's killing me!"
Harry watched while Louis choked up, sobbing into his hands. Harry, very quickly, ran to Louis, forcibly pulling his husband into his strong arms. "Sweetheart."
"I want a baby too." Louis gasped, voice cracking. "I want one so bad, I want my family with you, always have. But nobody seems to understand! None of them know how much pressure I feel. You don't even see it."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry whispered.
"All of it," Louis continued, hiccupping through his tears. "All of it feels like I'm letting you down. I'm trying, we've--we've been trying for so long now. I changed so much of my lifestyle for this. And it's all for naught. And everyone on Earth knows, that I'm disappointing you. God I don't even deserve you."
"Stop that." Harry spoke up harshly. "Stop that right now. Look at me, Sweet, look at me right now." Harry said, gripping onto Louis' shoulders and waiting until he looked. Louis wiped his eyes and met Harry's, both of them were teary now. "How can you say that? How can you even think it? After all of the complete shit you and I have gone through, and all the fights we had to endure? Why would you ever think something like you not getting pregnant quickly would change my mind? I love you, baby or now."
"Everyone's thinking it." Louis mumbled.
"Yeah, well I doubt that. And who cares what they think anyway? When the fuck have we ever cared?" Harry asked, sighing at the hurt in Louis' eyes. He started walking backward, kicking the tabloids away, and sitting them back down. "This is our marriage, Louis, not theirs. And, when it happens, this is going to be our baby. Nobody else matters. Don't let their comments pressure you."
"It's not just them." Louis whispered. He felt very small all of a sudden, because he'd dreaded having to have this talk with Harry.
"What do you--oh." Harry sucked in a deep breath. "Have I--oh Louis. Did I make you feel pressured too?"
"Only because of your enthusiasm." Louis said quickly, grabbing Harry's hands. "You're always talking about how excited you are, and how happy you are. I don't want to let you down, but every time I see a negative test, my heart breaks. And you don't even see it. You don't even think anything's wrong. Y-you just keep planning too far ahead, and buying things, and clearing out an entire guest room for a baby that doesn't exist yet!"
"Lou--"
"And I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to be positive like you." Louis cried, voice breaking again. "But Harry, we've been going for weeks, I've done everything right and... and I think maybe... something might be wrong... with me."
He heard Harry gasp, and let out a hushed "No", but he'd said it. Louis let out his worst fear. He needed Harry right now, he needed his husband to be a little less positive and just be there. This tiny fear was eating away at Louis, and making him crazy with worry. There was no use in pretending that it wasn't a possibility, that Louis could be infertile.
"Hazza," Louis sobbed. "What if something happened, and even though I'm a carrier, what if I can't have children? W-we need to be realistic."
"No. Louis no th-that's not it." Harry insisted.
"Harry. Don't do this." Louis sighed. "I'm so scared, Haz, I've been so scared. You can't just invalidate this. We had it so good, everything's worked out so bloody well for us, something was bound to go wrong. Of course it would be me that fucked it all up for us, there's always something with me."
"I hate when you talk about yourself like this." Harry said. "You have never fucked anything up for me. But, if you really, truly think this is a possibility then... we'll figure it out."
"Harry--"
"Lou, Sweetheart, I'll make an appointment, and we can get you tested." Harry said, pulling Louis in for a tender kiss. "We'll figure this out."
"I love you Harry, I'm sorry!" Louis sobbed, falling into Harry's chest. "I'm so, so sorry."
Harry wrapped an arm around Louis' back, holding close, and cradled the back of Louis' head with his other hand. He let Louis sob and cry into his neck, humming along to comfort him. "Shh, Sweet, you have nothing to be sorry for." He kissed Louis' temple, petting through his husband's hair to sooth him. "Hey, Lou, um... I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but... is this why we haven't had sex the past couple days?"
There was no use denying it, and Louis knew that. Ever since his last negative tests and then the lunch with Liam, Louis had been finding excuses to not sleep with Harry. It was pretty sad really. "Er, yeah... I was too worried about it, and I didn't want to get our hopes up."
"I thought you were just tired or sore or something." Harry said with a worried tone. "Talk to me next time, Louis. Don't hold this in."
"I will, I will. I promise." Louis whispered.
That night Louis ordered take out for them, while Harry made the call to the specialist. Louis didn't see his husband sneak off to the master bathroom to have a long, wet cry. He wasn't upset over the possibility of Louis being infertile, as much as that thought pained him. No, Harry was crying at himself, at how horrible a spouse he'd been to make Louis feel so guilty. Harry wanted a baby and a family, but he always wanted Louis' love first.
+
The days leading up to the test were filled with a lot of promises. Promises from Harry to tone down the any talk of having a baby. Especially buying things for the baby and setting up any sort of nursery. Promises from the other boys to not make jokes about it. They even asked their team to put a filter on the tabloids about pregnancy stories.
Louis was all ready to go to his appointment alone, but Harry wanted to be there. He was going to be with Louis every step of the way from now on. There was never going to be a doubt in Louis' mind that Harry was taking this seriously and supporting him.
"What do you think they're going to do?" Louis asked, holding tighter onto Harry's hand as they sat in the waiting room.
"I read that it was a series of questions, a blood test, and then an x-ray." Harry whispered. There were a few other people in the room, but Louis and Harry sat far enough away, so they couldn't be seen. "Not so bad."
"A blood test, though." Louis groaned.
Harry chuckled and leaned over to press a kiss to Louis' cheek. "Just a prick Sweetheart."
"That's what everyone says." Louis huffed with a roll of his eyes. "Honestly, you've seen how many siblings I have. My mum is a baby powerhouse! What the hell went wrong with me?"
"Nothing Sweet." Harry sighed, throwing his arm over Louis' shoulders.
"What if I'm too old? What if the age opening for men is shorter than women and we wasted all my time?" Louis asked, entering into a panic.
Harry shushed him. "Lou, you're twenty-seven, you are not too old to have a baby."
"How would you know?" Louis snapped. He'd been doing this a lot, the mood swings, mostly brought on by stress. "You're not a doctor, Baby you didn't even finish school."
"No but there's this thing called the internet." Harry quipped. He connected his left hand with Louis', holding them so their wedding bands lined up and sighed happily. "Remember when I asked you to marry me?"
Louis snorted. "Which time?"
Harry smiled down at his husband. "The second to last time."
"Oh, yes I remember." Louis said softly.
The second to last time Harry asked Louis to marry him, was also the first time he really, truly meant it. Harry just didn't have the ring from the jewelers yet.
They'd just returned from a promo trip in America, and Louis was practically dead on his feet from exhaustion. He'd jumped right onto the couch, shoes and all, while Harry was left to take care of the luggage. It wasn't unusual for them to do this after a trip, but Harry felt different. It was the first promo trip since they came out, and they'd gotten so many nice messages and support. Harry was on cloud nine, he and Louis could finally be themselves, and the ring was waiting to be picked up that weekend, and...
God, Louis looked so cute all snuggled up on the couch. Harry couldn't wait for that weekend, he had to say something soon. So Harry kneeled down next to Louis, brushed back his hair, then waited until he was sure Louis was still awake. "Hey Lou, I need to ask you a question."
"Ugh, what?"
"What do you think of the word Spouse?" Harry could hardly contain his smile.
"Rhymes with mouse and louse." Louis said shortly, way too tired for this.
"Louse?"
"Yeah..." Louis yawned, stretching his arms above his head, and then blinked up at Harry with wide, blue eyes. "Isn't that the singular of lice?"
"That doesn't sound right..."
"I think it sounds completely right." Louis huffed.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Doesn't matter, but that's what you think of the word spouse?"
"Yeah," Louis said suspiciously. "What do you think?"
Then, with the biggest, most confident smirk Louis had ever seen, Harry said, "I think I'd like to call you mine."
"...Oh my god. Harry. Hazza, are you... is this you proposing?" Louis gasped.
"I'll do it proper later, but yes. Yes I am proposing."
Harry looked down at their rings again, at his husband, and he felt content. No matter what happened after these tests. Harry was happy.
"Mr. Tomlinson?" A nurse came up to them and whispered.
Louis cleared his throat, grip almost painful on Harry's hand. "Oh, um, Styles-Tomlinson, actually."
"Oh, of course." She said with a sweet smile. "The doctor is ready to see you now."
Louis took a deep breath, in and back out, and then found he couldn't even stand. He was too nervous. Thankfully, Harry did the work, helping him out of the seat to follow the nurse.
+
"So how's Lou doing?" Niall asked. They were out for lunch a day after the test, and Louis was supposed to be with them, but he decided to stay home instead.
Harry shrugged. "Quiet mostly. We won't get the results for a few days and he's really nervous."
"You don't think there's anything wrong with him?" Niall asked, he'd also been worried about Louis, but more because Louis became so distant the past couple weeks.
"No." Harry answered immediately. A part of him only answered like this every time, as a way of convincing himself. "I-I think it just hasn't been long enough. And last night... the doctor said we might as well keep trying, even without the results. So, you know, when we got home... I wanted to like--you know, and Louis just... he pushed me away again."
"That sucks H." Niall said, mouth full.
"I miss him Ni," Harry sighed, poking his own food with his fork. "It's been years since we've gone this long without having sex."
"Things I really didn't need to know, H."
"And we don't even need to fuck just to get him pregnant!" Harry groaned, dropping his fork loudly onto the plate.
"We're in a public place--"
"Even when we were still having sex, it just turned into this robotic, chore-like thing. I was in, I was out, Louis was asleep and then a few days later, he'd come out of the loo with another negative test." Harry continued. "I miss being intimate with him. And I miss foreplay."
"Please H. This is a nice, public place." Niall said. "Keep your pants on until we finish, at least."
"The last time we had sex was weeks ago." Harry grumbled, leaning his head in his hands. "We were on the couch and it was all fine, and he started kissing my neck, so I was like, alright now we're getting somewhere. But as soon as I was completely hard, Louis told me to take my pants off, and he just slid right on! No talking, and he'd prepped himself before so that took half the fun away... it's just--it wasn't great."
When he looked back at Niall, the Irishman had his hands covering his eyes while he shook his head. "Good lord Harry. Listen, I'm sorry you aren't having epic, romance movie sex anymore, but stop talking about it. Once you get the results back, and Louis can see that there's nothing wrong with him, I'm sure you'll have some of the greatest sex you have ever had."
The thing was, Harry wasn't sure that there was nothing wrong with Louis. He was outwardly positive about it all, because Louis needed that, he needed to hear that it would all be okay. But Louis was so sure about it all. It was his body, and sometimes people just knew things about their body, so what if he was right? What if Louis really couldn't have kids? Harry wasn't ready to face that. "You're right, Niall. Thanks."
Niall shrugged. "No problem. So Zayn and I are gonna try to bang out a song or two at his place today, wanna come help out?"
"Can't. The results are supposed to be mailed any day now. I need to be with Louis. Plus, if I come home smelling like weed, Louis will throw a fit." Harry said. He very slowly started to eat again, just small nibbles on the food. His mind wandered to an imaginary scene of Louis, pregnant and happy, opening baby gifts with a big, crinkly smile. Harry smiled at the thought himself, sighing loudly, "Can't wait to buy baby things again. We've had to put all the supplies and toys in storage for now."
"Musta been a pain to cancel all those orders too." Niall said.
"Yeah but-- wait what?"
"Um," Niall said with a confused frown. "Didn't you order the entire Nike baby line? All those football shirts and things?"
"Oh shit," Harry grasped, eyes wide. "I-I forgot! Oh god it's all probably on its way by now! Louis' gonna kill me if he sees that!"
Harry jumped out of his seat, threw a few bills onto the table, and quickly ran out. He had to get home before the mail, he had to make sure those gifts hadn't gotten to their house yet.
+
Thankfully, or so Harry thought, when he got back to their house, Harry could see a few envelopes sticking out of their mailbox. A wave of relief washed over him as he pulled the mail out, no sign of any baby clothes.
Their door was wide open, so Harry stepped inside, sorting through the letters as he went. "Lou, Sweetheart? You home?"
"I'm the bedroom!" Louis yelled. There was something off about his voice though.
But, Harry hardly noticed as he read the address on the very last letter. Harry took a big gulp of air, because the last letter was from Louis' doctor. Inside this was the results of the fertility test and Harry could hardly breathe. His feet carried him to their room, but he felt like he was floating, and Harry couldn't wait. He tore open the seal just as he reached their room.
"What. The fuck. Is this?" Louis grunted. He was at the foot of their King sized bed, arms crossed and with a murderous expression in his eyes. At his feet was a box labeled 'Nike' and insider was an assortment of baby sportswear. "I specifically said no more baby things! What the fuck Harry? And football clothes no less?"
"I'm sorry Lou--"
"No! Oh my god, Harry." Louis continued to yell and rant about the clothes and baby gifts, but Harry tuned it out.
Instead, Harry continued to open the letter from the doctor, dropping the envelope to read. "Oh my--we're having a baby."
"Louis was beyond annoyed at this point. "Ugh, and there you go again! You keep saying--"
"No Louis, this is from the specialist." Harry cut in, immediately shutting his husband up.
"W-what?" Louis asked, voice tiny and soft.
"You're fertile, Sweetheart. Very, very fertile." Harry gasped, almost crying with how happy he was.
"Thank God!" Louis exclaimed. He ran and jumped into Harry's arms, limbs wrapping around his husband like a koala. "Thank god, thank you god!"
Louis kissed Harry, so intensely and messily, and they whined and moaned into each other. Louis tugged at Harry's curls, nails scratching into his scalp. All while Harry held Louis up by his thighs, stumbling onto the bed. "I love you Sweetheart, fuck I love you so much. Missed you."
They fell to the bed and Louis tore open Harry's shirt, not caring at all about the buttons. He rolled them over so he was straddling his husband, and started sucking marks over his chest. Harry moaned above him and slipped both of his hands down the back of Louis' sweatpants, squeezing and pinching at his arse. Louis squeaked and shook his bum for Harry, tongue tracing around one of Harry's nipples. Louis sucked down hard on it, just as Harry stroked a dry finger across Louis' hole.
Louis' back arched, and he pulled off Harry with a gasp. "Fuck, I'm sorry Harry, for being so impatient and making us worry. Make love to me Hazza, let's make a baby."
"Love to, course. Told you there was nothing wrong with you." Harry moaned, pushing Louis' pants down over his arse. But then it hit him, a possibility that had never crossed his mind before. Nothing was wrong with Louis, but... what if Harry was the problem?
"Um, Haz? Everything alright?" Louis asked. His hand was already down Harry's pants, but, "You aren't... um you're not getting hard..."
"If um..." Harry sat up and pulled Louis' hand away, letting out a staggered breath. "If you're fertile, then... that means the problem is me."
"Oh," Louis whispered. He honestly never even considered that Harry could be the problem.
The whole thing with Harry was that he was baby crazy. There were constant jokes, about Harry almost stealing any child around him. He was just a natural born parent, is all. There was never a reason to think he would be the problem, because... well someone who wanted and loved kids as much as Harry should be able to produce them. Honestly the world was shocked when Harry said he wasn't even a carrier.
"What if I'm sterile, Lou?" Harry asked, heart racing with worry. "Oh god, and all this time you've been stressed and blaming yourself, but it was me! I'm shit, oh god."
"Oh Hazza, Baby." Louis hummed softly, hands going up to Harry's cheeks. "What did you say to me? It's all going to be fine."
"I feel so horrible, though. It was selfish to just get you tested and let you think this was on you." Harry said. His eyes filled with tears and he rested his cheek to Louis' chest while he cried.
"You didn't know, we both still don't know." Louis said as he pet through Harry's long hair, holding him close. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I started all this mess."
"Don't be, Sweetheart," Harry sniffled. His arms were around Louis' back, but he dropped his left to Louis' tummy, pressing into the flat skin there. His ring must have been cod, because Louis' breath hitched and he jerked back. "I'm so scared."
"I know," Louis sighed. "I know exactly what you mean."
+
The week of Harry's appointment with the fertility specialist dragged on forever it seemed. They had a small interview right in the middle, and Harry was hardly his usual happy, bantering self. He laughed at some jokes, but didn't really participate in answering questions. Louis held his hand through it and took all of the questions that were directed at Harry.
The fans went a little crazy afterwards, all wondering what was wrong with Harry. A lot figured he was just sick and didn't want to skip out on their only appearance during the break. Then there were a couple assholes who insisted that Louis and Harry broke up and the hand holding was just for the cameras. It was crazy, but then a lot of these were the same fans who couldn't even see all the signs of them actually being together before. The internet was becoming insane again, and Louis hated it.
He couldn't just tell people the real reason he and Harry were being so weird the past few months. It was nobody's business.
All of the talk and speculation pushed Harry into even more of a depression. Not even a few phone calls with his parents helped, especially his dad. Louis had to cancel a trip to see his own family, because he knew seeing Ernie and Doris would only make Harry more sad. They all understood, though, and with them good luck.
The fertility appointment came on a Friday afternoon and Harry went alone for some reason. He knew it would be just as long a wait for the results as Louis', but Harry still didn't want Louis there. It hurt a lot, but Louis went with it.
Almost an hour after Harry left for his appointment, Louis got a call from him. "Hi, Baby, how'd it go?"
"Um... it's sort of still going."
"Oh? Why are you calling then? Is something wrong?" Louis asked, voice going a little high. He was sat on their bed, folding the baby clothes to put in boxes for storage.
"Well... in order for the doctor to calculate my sperm count, she sort of needs a sample of my sperm... so like... I'm trying to get one..."
Louis burst out laughing. "Oh Baby, let me guess, they put you in a room with porn and shit, but you can't get it up?"
"... yes."
"Oh you poor thing." Louis said, smiling and laughing for real for the first time in weeks. "You'll never get hard if you don't relax."
"I'll never get hard if all I have to look at are naked women. Honestly, did they just forget that some men don't want to see tits everywhere?"
"Poor thing." Louis said, eyes darting up to their bathroom door. He bit his lip and thought for a moment about what he was definitely about to do. "Hang in there just a minute, love. I'll call right back."
"What--"
Louis cut off the call and ran to their bathroom, already feeling a little excited. He fixed his hair in the mirror, then pulled up the camera on his phone. He turned around and arched his back for the first picture, then pulled his sweat pants down, showing his bare arse for the second. He even made sure to get a close up of the small tattoo on his left cheek, a heart with HS in the middle. Then Louis bent over a little more and pulled his cheeks apart, showing off his hole to the camera.
Louis sent the pictures to Harry as fast as he could. Harry replied only a minute later.
Fuck. Call me right now.
Louis giggled and hit the call button, skipping back over to the bed. "That better?"
"Yes, so much better." Harry groaned on the other end.
"So you're relaxed?"
"Definitely. You're so hot Louis, always been."
"You hard yet?" Louis asked. When he heard Harry grunt in response, Louis kept going. "You know, it's been so long since we had proper sex. I know that's my fault though."
"It's okay Sweetheart. Really, I just missed you."
"When all this is over, I'm gonna make it up to you." Louis said, licking at his lips. "You touching yourself get?"
"Yeah but keep talking Sweet. Love your voice."
"Sure, sure." Louis said. "I missed you too, so you know. Didn't act like it, but I did. Missed your tongue in me, so warm, you always made me come so hard when you ate me out."
"God Louis, tasted so good. Miss that too."
"I really wanna suck you off though," Louis continued. "I would if I was with you. I'd be on my knees, let you push me all the way down, get you deep in my throat. Wouldn't you prefer that to your hand?"
"You know I would Sweetheart." Harry moaned, voice coming out choppy and husky. Louis could hear the slap of Harry's skin as he got himself off. "Pull on your hair, make you choke on it. Know you love that, feeling used."
"Only because it makes you feel good." Louis hummed. He felt his own cock twitch, and pressed down with one hand over his sweats. "And when you come, you always taste so sweet, must be all that fruit you eat. Love it, love swallowing everything you have to give me. You close to coming?"
"Yeah, fuck Lou, make me feel so good. Fu--" The sound of Harry swearing and the phone falling to the ground told Louis that Harry finished. A few moments later Harry picked up the phone again, panting just a little bit. "You're the greatest husband in the world."
"I'm aware." Louis quipped. He very quickly turned solemn again, when he remembered what Harry was doing. "You better get that sample to the nurse or something."
He heard Harry let out a deep, sad sigh. "Yeah."
"I-it's gonna be fine Haz." Louis said, even though he wasn't sure himself.
"Right. I gotta go, but I love you."
"Love you too."
+
"So let me get this straight." Zayn said as he drove himself and Louis to Liam's place. "You got him off over the phone?"
"Yes."
"So he could give a sperm sample to the specialist."
"Yes."
"But you two haven't had real sex in weeks?"
"Yeah." Louis sighed glumly.
"Well no wonder he's so fucking depressed." Zayn said, rolling his eyes. "Why aren't you putting out man?"
"I was!" Louis exclaimed. "Well, I mean at first I wasn't because I thought I was infertile and it scared me. But now it's Harry. He's in the same boat I was."
"You two are a mess," Zayn sighed.
And that was just too far. "Oh fuck you Zayn! Harry and I are trying to have a baby and one of us could be unable to produce, but god forbid I'm not letting him put his dick in me so he's more bearable for you. You're just sitting here like this is no big deal! I'm tired and I'm scared and I really don't need this!"
"Hey, hey Lou I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Zayn said softly, gripping Louis' shoulder. "But both of you are so stressed. I know everything sucks, and if Harry can't produce... that would be awful, but you can't live like this."
"I--" Louis gasped, voice breaking into a cry. "I was supposed to be pregnant by now. We've been wanting this for so long and it's all getting ruined."
"Hang in there." Zayn said. "You know what you need? A romantic night in. Make him dinner or something, just take your minds off all this."
"Let me guess, I should make him chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in Parma ham right?" Louis asked sarcastically.
"If you wanted to be completely cliché," Zayn retorted with a smirk. "Make him spaghetti with Italian sausage. You can even fellate a sausage, I don't know."
Louis laughed, shoving at Zayn's side. "You're a madman."
+
He did it.
The next night Louis waited until Harry went out to some friend's house, Louis forgot which, and then quickly began to put the meal together. While everything was heating up, Louis changed his clothes into something a lot more liberal. This date night was going to get him fucked, no matter what.
It wasn't very long before Harry was back home, and he could smell the delicious dinner all the way from the front door. Louis very rarely cooked, so Harry had a feeling he was in for a treat.
And, oh boy, was Harry right.
Because as he got to the kitchen, Harry could hear Louis singing to himself, but then he looked upon his husband. Harry's eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw Louis. There, dancing about and preparing dinner, was his little husband, in nothing but one of Harry's too-big-for-Louis black button ups, and a small black jockstrap, arse on display. As Louis danced and moved about, the shirt swayed and his bum shook.
Harry swallowed a lump in his throat, unceremoniously dropping his keys to the ground. "S-Sweetheart? This is a-a nice surprise."
Louis stopped moving, and looked over his shoulder at his husband with a coy smile. He waived his left hand wedding ring sparkling in the kitchen lights. "Isn't it though?"
Harry's feet grew minds of their own, and carried the rest of him over to Louis. They sped up when Louis stepped a foot out and arched his back so his arse was curved up. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Can't a man do something nice for his Spouse once in a while?" Louis asked, batting his lashes.
Damn that word always got to Harry. He groaned lowly and grabbed Louis by his hips, pulling his arse back into him. "You're the best Spouse a man could ask for."
"You--" Louis gasped midsentence when he felt Harry press a thumb into his heart tattoo.
"Mine, all mine." Harry whispered as he squeezed Louis' arse, and then slid one hand slowly up Louis' back.
"Course I'm yours." Louis giggled breathlessly. "Got a whole body of art to prove it."
Harry's hand slipped up into Louis' hair, tugging lightly so Louis had to turn his head and look at him. He hesitated to kiss him, however, because Harry couldn't stop thinking about the test results. "What do you even still want with me anymore? If I can't--"
"Shh Haz." Louis said, clutching at Harry's cheek. "I want you for the same reason you would've still wanted me if I couldn't bear children; I want you because I love you."
And it was then that Harry kissed him, slow and sweet, and just like both of them needed. He opened his eyes for only a second, before he noticed the bottle of lube next to the spices. "Um, Lou, why is there lube waiting here?"
Louis rolled his eyes. "Perhaps I want you to fuck me. Put a baby in me."
Harry sighed and looked away. He wanted to have sex with Louis, the weight between his legs was evident of that, but... he couldn't just 'put a baby' in Louis. What if they get the test and his sperm count is too low? He can't raise their hopes like that. "Maybe we should get a condom."
"Fuck the condom Haz." Louis groaned. He reached a hand behind and between their bodies, palming at Harry's half hard cock through his pants. "It's all up in the air Harry. There's still hope, a chance, that you can make children. So please, fuck me, come in me, worry about everything later."
"I love you." Harry said as he grabbed Louis' arms and quickly turned him around. He kissed Louis again, faster now, more heated, tasting every inch of his mouth. He pulled Louis back by his neck, staring all around at him with a hungry expression. "Think you owe me a blowie, don't you?"
Louis smirked, and pushed at Harry's chest with both hand so he had room to get on his knees. "How could I forget?"
His tiny hands popped open the button and fly of Harry's pants, pulling them down so his sock was free. Louis licked his lips and wrapped a hand around Harry's girth, leaning in to kiss the tattoo Harry had just below his belly button. It was a heart with Louis' initials, made to match the one on Louis' ass. They might have drunkenly gotten them on the last day of their honeymoon.
This was one of Louis' favorite things, sinking his mouth onto Harry's cock and feeling it fatten up and become fully hard. As it got heavier on his tongue, Louis sucked harder, bobbing his head with closed eyes. He worked himself to get all the way down, spurred on by Harry's moans of pleasure.
"Missed your mouth so much Sweetheart." Harry whined, pushing Louis down all the way. He twitched when he saw Louis' eyes flutter and start to tear up, but Harry knew he liked it. He fucked Louis' mouth, slowly, because he didn't plan on coming until he was buried deep in Louis' arse. Fuck the test, and the doctor's, and the worries, Harry was going to get his husband pregnant.
Harry forced Louis down one last time, feeling his throat muscles contract around his cock, then pulled all the way out. Louis whined, and started kissing Harry's tummy, biting gently at the laurel tattoos. "Gonna fuck me now?"
"Stupid question, stand up." Harry said roughly, helping Louis turn around once he did. The best part about the jock strap was that Harry didn't even need to remove any of Louis' clothes. He shoved Louis down over the counter, smirking when his husband squeaked in shock, and kicked Louis' feet out so he was spread and bent over.
"Wait--Hazza the food." Louis whimpered as he grabbed the lube for them.
Harry quickly turned all the dials of the stove to zero. Then took the lube from Louis, spreading a decent amount over his fingers. "We're never going this long without sex again."
"Agreed." Louis huffed out with a rough voice. "Now give me your fingers."
"What about my tongue?" Harry asked, petting a hand down Louis' clothed back. He carefully slid them back up and shifted the button up off of Louis' shoulders so he could kiss at the bare skin. "Yeah Sweetheart? Wouldn't you rather have my tongue?"
Louis shuddered when he felt Harry's soft lips on him, pushing his bum back into his husbands crotch. "God yes Harry, both please, please."
"Alright Sweet, I'll give you both." Harry kneeled down behind Louis, and pulled a section of the jock back with two of his fingers. "You don't wear this nearly enough for me."
"We only wear them onsta-- ah!" Louis squealed when Harry let go of the jock and let it snap against Louis' bum.
"Sorry Love," Harry said, pulling his lip back with his teeth in a sly smirk. He started kissing Louis' thighs and cheeks while one of his hands grabbed the lube off the counter.
He slicked up three of his fingers while his tongue pushed between Louis' cheeks and barely pressed against Louis' hole. He heard his spouse moan quietly as his tongue started licking up and down against the puckered skin, and Harry opened Louis' cheeks with one of his lube-sticky hands. When he had better access, Harry flattened his tongue and licked over Louis' hole in a steady rhythm. He listened while Louis' moans grew louder and higher in octave, and finally pointed his tongue into Louis' arse.
"Hazz," Louis hummed, shaking a bit while Harry licked inside him. He sighed when Harry pushed the first finger inside, moaning while it moved in and out of him. They were making love again, and they were doing it no matter if it resulted in a baby and Louis just missed this so much. He loved his husband so much. "Hazza another."
Harry smirked and bit into Louis' left cheek while he pushed in two fingers. He scissored them open and closed to stretch Louis out, sucking on the back of Louis' thigh in an effort to leave a hickey. "You love this don't you Sweetheart."
"Yeah, love your fingers so much." Louis whimpered. His legs were shaking as he felt Harry purposefully avoid his prostate, getting closer and closer but always stopping short. It was maddening and Louis was sweating with how much he wanted Harry to finger him properly.
Harry stood up and dropped the lube onto the counter while he roughly continued to finger Louis, pressing in the third finger. "Know you do Sweet, and you look so good on them. I haven't gotten to do this in so long."
"You get it now Hazza, oh fuck," Louis continued to whimper and moan, head hanging between his arms while he leaned on the counter top. "Put it in me Haz, give me your cock."
"Yeah? Want me to fuck you good?" Harry moaned, pulling out his fingers and slicking up his cock. He let all worries fly out the window as he jerked himself a few times, panting at the sight of Louis' puffy and stretched hole. "Gonna let me put a baby in you?"
"Yes! Yes please Harry! I want it so bad." Louis whined, spreading his legs even more. He looked back over his shoulder at Harry with wide, red-rimmed eyes, the blue nearly completely blown out into black. "Fuck me."
"Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you." Harry said with a coarse voice. He braced one hand on the counter and steadied his cock with the other, sliding inside. Louis was so tight, and so warm and Harry loved him so fucking much. He leaned with both hands on the counter and began a quick and rough pace.
Louis was whining and shouting out with every hard thrust inside, collapsing down his whole upper body was on the counter. His tiny hands were shaking and grabbing at air while Harry fucked him, little whiny breathes escaping his pink lips. Harry was always going to be in awe of how beautiful his spouse looked when he fucked him. He grabbed at Louis' hips, pulling him back into each thrust, and lifted Louis just slightly. The change in angle allowed Harry to his Louis' prostate on every move of his hips.
"Ah, ah!" Louis shouted, reaching back with one arm to grab onto Harry's thigh. He just wanted to hold something, to feel the muscles in Harry's legs work while he made Louis feel so damn good. "There, there Haz."
Harry felt himself get closer to coming, to filling his sweet husband up and, dear god hopefully, impregnating him. He started grunting and hitting inside Louis harder, holding back the small coil of pleasure beginning in his belly. "Lou, Sweet, are you close?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Louis shouted, moving a hand between his body to stroke his own painfully hard cock. "Make me feel so good. Gonna make a fucking baby."
"Yeah, yeah I am, Lou." Harry said with shaky confidence. He pushed down the doubts again and focused on making his husband come. "Touch your cock good Lou, make yourself come and then I'll fill you up. But you have to come first."
"Harry!" Louis whined, stroking his cock faster. He turned his head and looked up at Harry with a bitten lip, mouth falling open in a quiet shout as he finally came, squirting over the side of the counter and his hand. His mind had gone fuzzy with the pleasure, and he didn't even realize he was repeating the words "Fill me, fill me, fill me." But Harry heard him.
He heard Loud and clear and with only a few more slopping movements of his hips, Harry came inside his husband. He kept thrusting weakly while he filled Louis, panting and came down from his high. Harry slumped down on Louis' back, both men taking deep breaths, Louis even started giggling. Harry kissed his neck while he carefully pulled out, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist and holding him against the counter.
But... then Louis heard Harry sniffle behind him, and he realized he was crying. "Haz? What's wrong Baby?"
"What if this didn't do anything?" Harry sobbed. "I-It was good Louis, so good but... what if we get the results and I'm shooting blanks? I don't know what I'll do if that happens."
"Oh, Baby." Louis whispered, turning around. He flinched at the feeling of Harry's spunk dripping down his leg, but ignored it for the time being. "I know how you're feeling, Harry. And this is going to sound crazy coming from me, but here's what's going to happen if you're sterile. We are going to cry. We are going to mope, and sob, and feel sorry for ourselves, because that would suck."
"Lou--"
"Let me finish," Louis said, putting a finger to Harry's lips. "Once the sob fest is over we are going to go to Gemma, ask her to surrogate, o-or ask one of the lads to donate, or even pay for an anonymous donor, or adopt. Either way, you and I are having children. Because we want this and we deserve it. I-I don't care if they are biologically ours, or look like us. The man I consider my real father isn't my biological dad. We are going to raise a big family and watch them all grow up. No matter where their DNA came from. Got it?"
Harry nodded, kissing Louis' cheek. He laughed nervously and said, "I wish I thought of that speech for you."
"Guess I'm just a natural born talker." Louis said.
"God, here I am ruining this nice dinner you made." Harry laughed, looking at the, now cold, food on the stove.
"It's alright. I'll reheat it all tomorrow or something." Louis said to him. "You can go upstairs if you want, while I clean it all up."
"No, I'll help you." Harry said as he started moving pots and pans from the stove. "Just out of curiosity, which of the lads would you want to donate?"
"Zayn, of course," Louis said immediately. "We'd make some very beautiful children together."
Harry pouted. "Well then we are definitely not going with him."
"What?"
"Our children cannot be as beautiful as both you and Zayn." Harry joked. "Nobody would stand a chance."
"Harold. Do you want our children to be ugly?"
"No." Harry groaned. "Just don't know how I feel about raising demigods."
"Oh Jesus."
+
For some unknown reason, Harry's results took a lot longer to receive than Louis'. They were waiting for over two weeks to hear anything, so naturally Harry took it as bad news. He even tried to reason that they tested his sample a second time, just to be sure of the answer. Louis explained that they knew what they were doing and wouldn't need to test multiple times.
Harry even came home with pamphlets from different adoption agencies, and Louis wasn't allowed to throw them away.
On the other end of things, Louis had been feeling really strange. He felt off every time he spoke, woozy in the mornings, and everything. He hadn't thrown up, though he came close a few times, so he really didn't want to get his hopes up... but Louis couldn't help it.
He tried to tell Harry that he was getting these symptoms, but Harry wasn't in a state for uncertainty. Louis needed a correct answer to his wonderings before telling Harry, because anything else would crush him.
Sure, Louis was a little tired of being sneaky with Harry, but this was all for his husbands own good.
Which is why, when Louis threw up after days and days of it almost happening, he just had to check. He made a very quick, and secret, run to the drug store to pick up a pack of pregnancy tests.
Which is why, when Louis threw up on the last day of the third week after Harry's tests, he just had to check. He made a very quick, and secret, run to the drug store to pick up a pack of pregnancy tests.
He used the first one, and then five minutes later once he got the result, he used the other four in the pack. He couldn't believe his eyes.
Harry was picking up groceries while Louis was completing his secret mission, and Louis didn't know when he would be home. All he knew was that he needed Harry with him right now.
Not twenty minutes later, Harry was walking through their front door with several bags in his hands. He placed them on the kitchen island and went back for the mail, glumly reading through like every day. He didn't have to look at much that day, however, because at the top of the pile was the better from his specialist.
This held the future of his and Louis' family, so Harry was freaking out. Just a little.
"Harry?" Louis called from the other end of the long, open hallway. There was a hint of excitement in his voice.
Harry didn't look up from the letter, even as he heard Louis approach. He opened it ever so carefully and pulled out the doctor's note.
"I'm not sterile."--"I'm pregnant!"
"Louis, I--w-what?" Harry's eyes widened. He watched his small husband hold up five positive tests, and Harry's never felt happier. "Oh my god. W-we're having a baby?"
"Yeah!" Louis cheered, crying out of joy.
Harry dropped to his knees and yanked Louis' shirt up, kissing all along his flat tummy. "W-we did it! There's a baby in there."
"There is, Hazza, we're having a baby!" Louis cried, hugging Harry close to him.
+
They waited a week to announce it on twitter, as they needed to tell their families and friends first.
@Harry_Styles_Tomlinson: My Baby is having a baby!!!
@Louis_Styles_Tomlinson: Guess who's knocked up!
Louis even attached a picture of his belly, where Harry had drawn a doodle of a baby.
They were flooded with congratulations by fans, celebrities, even a couple politicians. Stories about 'Baby Stylinson' were on the cover of every tabloid, all written in a positive light. Well, with the exception of that idiot at the Sun, who insisted they would become too busy to properly care for the baby once the 1D hiatus was over. They'd been ignoring him for years. Absolutely nothing could bring them down at this point. Harry was even allowed to bring all of the baby gifts out of storage.
They were pretty much buzzing through their appointment and first ultrasound. They held hands, constant smiles on their faces, while the doctor and nurse talked them through a few things. The nurse squeezed some cold gel onto Louis' belly, and the doctor started scanning over to find the fetus.
"Aha!" She said as a teeny-tiny blob appeared on the monitor. "See that? That's your baby."
"Aww, Harry--"
Louis turned in time to see Harry hit the ground with a loud thunk.
A couple minutes later, Harry came too and was blushing while the nurse wrapped a bandage on the bruise on his head.
"Really Haz?" Louis asked with a stern expression. "Fainting? You're so embarrassing."
"I'm sorry, but it's just so beautiful." Harry said, eyes widely staring at the screen.
Louis laughed, rolling his eyes. "It looks like a sea monkey right now."
"Yeah but... we made that sea monkey..." Harry said in pure awe.
"Sea monkeys, actually." The doctor cut in.
"What?" Louis asked quickly.
"Plural." She pointed to another tiny blob that appeared next to the first. "That's another baby. Congrats you two, Louis is having twins!"
This time the nurse held Harry up when he started tipping over. "Twins."
"Holy shit." Louis gasped as he reached up and traced over the two blobs with his fingers. "We're having twins? D-do we know the sexes yet?"
"Too early to tell I'm afraid." The doctor said as she printed out the screenshot of the twins.
Harry kissed Louis' cheek sweetly. "Twins."
"Yes Hazza, two babies." Louis giggled. "Not surprised, not really. You and I never do anything half-assed."
+
They kept the twins part of Louis being pregnant a secret from the public for a while. Until they found out the sexes about sixteen weeks in, and picked out the names.
Harry put a picture of their latest ultrasound on his instagram and they pretty much broke the internet with the caption. "Make that two babies... Everybody meet our little future angels! Mable Anne and Oscar William Styles-Tomlinson. They'll be entering our world sometime in June ;)"
+
At six months, Louis' belly was round and his ankles hurt and his hormones were making him go absolutely nuts. Which, in turn, had Harry going a bit nuts himself.
One of the most interesting days was when Harry came home from grabbing Louis' daily chocolate donut and a jar of Dill pickles, to find his husband sitting on their sofa with a laptop open. He was also crying over an old video diary, all the way back from their X Factor days..
"Lou...what are you doing?" Harry asked as he sat down and carefully placed the food on the coffee table.
There were bunches of tissues lying around and Luis wiped his eyes before answering. "The doctor said the twins would start responding to sounds now. A-and I thought it would be nice if their first sounds were from our first days together... but now I've watched so much and these damned hormones have got me all emotional."
"Oh Sweetheart." Harry said, wrapping an arm over Louis' shoulder as he tried not to laugh.
"We were just so young!" Louis whined, petting a hand over his belly. "We were young and falling in love, and I was so embarrassing."
"I was there, and I'm pretty sure i was much worse than you were." Harry said, kissing the top of Louis' head.
Louis glanced up at him, staring at his husband with that twinkle of fond he'd had for years. "Yeah. Damn I feel like I won the jackpot."
"You're telling me." Harry mumbled. He kissed Louis' cheek and placed his hand over Louis' belly. It was so big now, and even more than normal because there were two babies in there. Louis was a miracle, Harry's whole life was a miracle. "Maybe take a break from memory lane and let me talk to them?"
Louis nodded excitedly as he closed the laptop and lifted up his shirt. "Guess it would be good if they got to know Daddy's voice."
Harry got down on his knees between Louis' legs, giving the taut skin a kiss before he started. "Morning Babies, it's your daddy. I just wanted to let you know that I love you both so, so, so much and I can't wait to hold you. You know, your papa gas been having you guys listen to some really old things today. We weren't married, or together, nor had we even kissed yet. But... I've loved Louis since I met him. I even peed on him to mark my territory."
"Oh lord." Louis giggled, rolling his eyes. He swatted Harry on the back of the head for laughing. "They don't want to hear that. And you weren't marking your territory, it was an accident."
"Yeah for all you know." Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Anyway, Mable and Oscar, I also forgive you two for causing Louis to have these silly mood swings and say crazy things. Now, because you won't understand any of this, I'm going to take your papa upstairs to our bedroom and I'm going to make slow, gentle love to him. Hopefully until he cries."
"I can't believe you just said that to our children." Louis said, covering up the blush on his cheeks with his hands.
"What? They're not even complete babies yet. Besides, they have no concept of language nor human activities." Harry mumbled against Louis' tummy.
"You're so weird."
"Yeah, but you love me."
+
On June 2nd at the annoyingly early hour of 3 in the morning, Harry rushed Louis to the closest hospital. He fainted, twice, in the delivery room, but the twins were born around 5 am, with Oscar first, and then Mable only a few minutes later. And as Louis held his baby girl, he smiled up at his husband with tired eyes. He watched while Harry whispered tiny promises to Oscar, and Louis never felt happier.
+
One Year.
They've had the twins in their lives for exactly one year, and honestly nothing could get better than this.
They were throwing the twins a birthday party to celebrate their first year of life. Just a small group of friends and family gathered at the LA house. The theme, picked out by Harry, was the color yellow.
And yellow was literally everywhere. There were yellow streamers, balloons, bouquets of sunflowers and yellow roses, and all other yellow decorations. The cake was a lemon cake with yellow-dyed vanilla frosting, and it was in the shape of the sun. They also served lemonade, orange juice, mimosas, and champagne.
And of course there was two bushels of bananas just sitting on the table for people to pick off of. Because Harry is very creative.
The guests, just close friends and family, were also required to wear yellow and white so they could match the twins. Louis found an incredibly old pair of yellow skinny capri pants, which by some miracle still fit him. Harry begged and pleaded and eventually sucked Louis off to get his husband to wear them. Which he did along with a white mesh shirt that showed off his fantastic after-baby body.
Because this was their LA house, and it was summer, the birthday was also a pool party. Which meant Harry would be attending in a full bun and his tiny yellow swim trunks. Louis was very in love with those.
Their guests had arrived and the party was in full swing, and Louis was in the middle of nursing Mable when Doris sat down on the bench with him, swinging her legs and staring. "Mummy said Mable looks just like me, but I don't see it."
Louis chuckled and kissed the top of Doris's head. "Yeah well, mum's a bit silly, but we all kind of look the same in this family."
"Mable looks squishy." Doris said promptly.
"You were squishy too, when you were this tiny." Louis told her.
They were interrupted by Harry, who'd apparently been in the pool, because he was soaking wet when he walked over. "Sweetheart, I know you need to nurse but I seemed to have misplaced our son."
"Oh Harry." Louis said with a fond roll of his eyes. "Niall's got him, said something about the twins trying on their present."
"Oh, should I grab him?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Louis said, readjusting Mable. "She's about done I think."
Harry returned a couple minutes later, looking grumpy and annoyed. He had Oscar in his arms, but on Oscar's head was a tiny green knitted beanie with 'IRELAND' spelled out. It was so cute, but Harry was just distraught and Louis could hear Niall laughing in the background.
"Please look at what Niall has put on our son." Harry said in a grumpy voice, though he didn't take off the hat.
"I think it's cute," Louis said. He winced as Mable unlatched, and he rubbed at his sore nipple while he yawned. "Switch."
"He's ruining the aesthetic. The theme is yellow." Harry said as they carefully passed each other a different twin.
Louis squeaked when Oscar started sucking on his other nipple, and he took off the hat so he could pet Oscar's hair. Both twins looked like had big blue eyes and mischievous little faces like Louis, but they inherited Harry's dimples and dark curly hair. They were beautiful, the most beautiful babies Louis had ever seen. And he made them with the love of his life. There was nothing better.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Doris asked curiously.
"A little, but you get used to it." Louis said.
"Marry me, Louis." Harry blurted. He couldn't help saying it while he watched Louis' nurse. They just felt complete.
"Already did that." Louis sighed. "You should know by now that you don't have to keep asking."
"We could get our vows renewed." harry suggested, sitting down on the other side of Doris.
"Don't you have to be married ten years for that?"
"Haven't we been though?" Harry asked. He wasn't far off. They'd barely even known each other ten years yet, but they've pretty much been married since they met.
Louis smiled fondly. "Maybe in a couple months."
Louis was about ready to tell Harry something, a thing that had been on his mind all day. He'd already told his mother, well she figured it out actually, and he planned on telling Harry once everyone left the party, but it seemed like a good time. At least it would have been, if Ernie hadn't come walking up with a glass in his hands.
"Lou, mum said you can drink this orange juice when you're done with that." Ernie sad as he held up the glass.
Harry chuckled. "Did your mum tell you that was orange juice? I hope you didn't have a sip of it."
"Why?" Both twins asked curiously.
"Um Harry--"
"I'm pretty sure that's not orange juice, but a special adult drink." Harry continued, thinking the juice was actually a mimosa.
"Um," Louis laughed nervously. Maybe now was a good time then. "Hey why don't you guys go join your sisters in the pool, yeah? Tell everyone I'm almost done here and I'll be back to the party soon."
"Okay!" They said in unison.
Harry watched the twins skip away and looked down at Louis with a confused expression. He was about to speak when Louis cut him off.
"It is orange juice."
"What? Why are you drinking orange juice?" Harry asked. Louis only shrugged as an answer, and it mad Harry's heart race. He glanced down at Louis' tummy under Oscar, then up to Louis' lips where he sipped the juice, and excitedly asked again. "S-Sweetheart? Why aren't you drinking?"
"Well," Louis cleared his throat and unlatched Oscar, giving his sleepy cheek a kiss. "Probably because I'm currently sharing nutrients with baby Styles-Tomlinson number three."
Honestly Harry was so shocked he could have dropped Mable right then, but thankfully instead he just held her tighter while his jaw dropped in a gasp. "You're kidding."
"Nope."
"Oh my, oh Louis. Y-You're? A-again? W-we... we're," Harry stuttered, while his legs seemed to fail him and cause him to sit down on the bench. He kissed the top of Mable's head while his eyes never left Louis' stomach. "You're pregnant?"
"Yeah Baby," Louis said with a crinkly, bright smile. "We made another baby."
Harry cradled Mable against his chest while he leaned over to give Louis a chaste, but sweet kiss. "I can't believe it!" He was practically squealing as he looked down at Oscar and whispered, "You're gonna have another little sibling Oscar. You get to be a big brother to two little angels."
As Harry continued to blabber on to the twins, and even Louis' tummy, Louis watched his husband with his usual fond smile. He was the single most lucky person in the world to have been blessed with this family. He sighed quietly, still smiling, "I love you so much."
Harry stopped talking to the babies for a moment to look up into Louis blue eyes, that had gone soft and watery. "I love you too, Sweetheart. Thank you for... just for existing in my world. I honestly don't know what I'd be without you."
"Probably sad and alone and still trying to steal the children of random friends." Louis answered with a smirk.
And, well, he probably wasn't wrong.
FIN