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Tommy let his legs hang over the edge of the blackstone path. He had watched as Dream, Sapnap, and Ghostbur passed through the portal leading to the SMP and, beyond that, L’manburg. The two living men had taunted Tommy moments before by passing back and forth through the swirling purple. Showing him over and over again that they were in control. And Tommy couldn’t do anything but watch.
Tommy had drifted over to the lava once the three of them had left to take pictures. His thoughts swirled around in his head, causing enough noise to drown out everything else. The screams of ghasts and grunts of Pigmen faded into the background as his mind filled with memories.
“I trust you Tubbo”
“Let's be the bad guys Tommy”
“You can call me Wilby, Tommy”
“You want to be a hero Tommy? Then die like one!”
“You couldn’t do one thing for me!?”
The moments of both support and betrayal pushed into his mind. Memories he tried to ignore and moments he held onto mixed until he couldn’t remember which ones he wanted in the end.
Tommy shook his head back and forth to try and calm the racing thoughts. The only good it did though was make his head spin.
Letting his head drop he opened his eyes to focus on the lava below him. The arid temperature of the nether always had a way of pushing to the front of its residents minds. As Tommy looked at the pulsing glow of the melted rock he started to imagine it as a heart beat. The growing and fading light pulsed with a strange type of life. The oppressive heat turned into a gentle hug
Tommy never had to deal with the cold as Wilbur did, when the man was alive. He didn’t run as warm as some members of his family, Technoblade, but he didn’t pull on a thick jacket at the slightest breeze like his oldest brother did either.
Now, however, now he slightly understood Wilburs need for warmth. The transition from the protected ground of L’manburg to the wind and cold of Logsteadshire had been startling. He huddled up everynight in the thin blanket he had, trying his best to preserve what body heat he held.
But here in the nether he didn’t have to worry about that. There was no snow, or rain, or wind. It was just a gentle, steady warmth. Tommy let himself be mesmerised by the popping of the lava, all of his thoughts finally settling to a stop.
Tommy’s body started to slowly move with little direction from him. He slowly stood, moving forward until his feet were halfway off the ledge. Looking down he was ready to let his body fall before he was pulled back by his shoulder. The unwanted saving came with a scolding as well.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dream turned Tommy to face him. His confusion was hidden by his mask, but it did nothing to stop the emotion in his voice. Looking at the younger boy's face Dream saw a blank expression, nothing like the fire and rage that was usually always present. He shook Tommys shoulder a little bit to snap him out of his weird trance. “It’s not your time to die”.
“It’s not you time to die”
The line resonated through Tommy, lighting back the fire in him that burned like the fire around them. Tommy twisted out of Dreams grasp and backed away from him, backed toward the lava.
“It’s not my time to die?” Tommy’s voice started off low, a few embers, but it quickly gained strength as the fire was fed with rage. “It’s not my time to die? Then when will it be Dream?” His voice carried across the lakes of fire. “I have fought over and over again. And for what? A nation that doesn’t want me? A brother that doesn’t remember me? Or how about a bestfriend that turned his back on me? I didn’t want any of this!” Tommy stared directly at the masked man that had caused so many of his problems.
Dream’s confusion, and slight concern, quickly turned to rage with Tommy’s words. Tommy had made his decision when he started L’manburg with Wilbur. When Tommy turned his back on the SMP in favor of making drugs.
“You did this to yourself when you chose to fight” The venom in Dreams thoughts poisoned his words as he spoke. He straightened up, ready to haul Tommy back to his “vacation” spot, before being interrupted by the boy’s laughter
“Choose to fight?” Tommy cackled as he once again parroted Dreams words back are him, “You think I choose to fight? I didn’t choose shit.” Tommy’s laughter quickly dried up as he yelled. His voice quieted down into almost a whisper as he looked at the lava falling behind dreams shoulder. “I’m a kid Dream, I am a child. I was told by Wilbur that starting L’manburg would give us our freedom. I was told it would be one fight. I was told that it would be one war. I was told after that battle I'd be safe, I’d be a kid again.” Tommy looked directly at Dream as his voice began to gain strength again, and this time suffering as well. “ I was not told I would be betrayed. I was not told I would lose two lives in one night.” Tommy’s voice broke with the pain that was coursing through him. “I was not told that I would be fighting for the rest of my life. I was not told that Wilbur would try and run for president. I was not told that my brother's best friend, a man I looked up to for years, would try and kill us. I was not told that I would be exiled. I was not told that my brother would blow up our country. I was not told that the Second I try to be a kid, I would be thrown out by my Best Friend. I was not told that I would be tormented everyday by a person I considered a friend at one point.” Tommy's voice started coming out softer. “I was not told I wouldn’t be allowed to spend Christmas with my family. And I definitely wasn’t told that I would spend that rest of my life with only my brother's ghost to spend time with.”
Tommy took a deep breath and twisted his face into a scowl.
“I never wanted to be the hero Dream. And I’m sure as hell not going to die like one” Tommy gave a mock salute before letting his body fall limp. The lava wrapped around each limb as he slowly sunk into the lake. A smile permanently etched onto his face.
TommyInnit tried to swim in lava.