Work Text:
A certain black haired man could be seen standing behind a counter, looking at some unoccupied chairs and tables while humming a song. It was around 10 in the morning and the usual rush hour had just ended. His coffee shop was fairly new, around two months, but some people were already regulars. It was exhausting tending to the coffee shop alone, especially now that his only employee requested leave because she had an upcoming test, not that he minded though.
Fyodor decided to take a seat while waiting for the next customer. He chuckled, he already lived so many years as a vampire and he had seen a lot, but serving other people was a new experience. There were many kinds of people he met while serving them. Some were kind, some were nonchalant, and some were rude as hell and Fyodor wanted nothing but to serve them tap water.
‘ This was fun ’ then his lips turned down a little. ‘ But… It would have been more fun if you were with me .’
He closed his eyes and his mind brought him to one particular red-haired man with a sharp glare and beautiful smirk. He imagined if he was to be here right now, they would make fun of the rude customers together. Maybe he would be furious at first but Fyodor would calm him down and then they would laugh.
He felt his heart tighten. It had already been 200 years and he still couldn’t forget him. His time with him felt like the shortest but also the happiest. His first lover and also the last in forever. Sadly they had to part ways when death had taken his last breath. He never resented him for that’s their choice. It hurt so much that there were times where he resented his immortality. The last whisper from him ‘ Please live for me .’ was what kept him alive for now. How could he ever deny the last request from his angel?
There was a sound of the door opening that made him stop daydreaming. ‘Welcome.’ He greeted the customer who entered with a smile. When he looked at the customer properly, his smile suddenly dropped and his eyes grew bigger. He felt like his body was frozen on the spot and he could only stare at him.
The customer walked closer to the counter to see what kind of menu the coffee shop offered. He spoke of something but Fyodor couldn’t hear it clearly. He forced himself to wake up from his trance. He balled his hand into a fist in order to keep himself from doing anything brash.
Fyodor tried his best to keep his voice normal and asked, “What will be your order?”
In front of him was a man with the same face as his lover. He spoke “Um, a cappuccino please.”
He nodded and quickly gave him his bill then prepared his order. After the red-haired man paid he walked to one of the empty seats. Fyodor looked towards his direction, he saw him sitting on the side near the wall, pulled out a laptop and turned it on.
After the coffee was finished he served it with a latte art in the shape of a leaf. He brought it to his table and put it in front of him. The customer mouthed thank you while still focusing on his laptop.
He went back to the counter and left him with his drink. He glanced occasionally and saw him typing on his laptop. It’s only been the first 10 minutes though, the next was spent by him scrolling on his phone.
Fyodor felt a huge urge to help, but it would be intruding his customer’s space. What if he saw him as an annoying person? His feet were itching to walk closer to him but he held them down. He saw him start typing again and he silently encouraged him from behind the counter. It seems like he had a rush of ideas because he typed for a long time.
The coffee shop was filled with the sounds of soft music playing and typing from the laptop. It felt nice, added with only two of them in the place made it feel more special. Forget glancing now he downright just stared at him. Suddenly his customer stopped and he put his hand in front of his face looking dejected.
His protective instinct flared up. He took a chocolate pound cake, plated it, then brought it to his table “It’s on the house.”
The customer gave him a confused stare “Can I ask why?”
‘ To comfort you ’ If he answered like that then his previous stares will be discovered. Also, of course the customer was confused, that is a normal reaction. Fyodor wanted to hit himself with a door because of his sudden impulse.
Racking his brain he quickly explained “As you can see the place is empty now, please take it as a complementary cake.”
Fyodor could feel the red-haired man in front of him was hesitating, nervously he added. “I insist, please.”
The customer decided to eat the cake. Fyodor could see his eyes lighten up a bit and it was very cute. “Thank you for the cake, it was delicious.”
He gave him a smile and Fyodor was entranced by it. How long since the last time he saw this smile. He missed it.
“Please tell me if you need anything more.” He said as a complimentary service and proceeded to walk back.
“Heh, if you can help me with my novel it would be great.” The customer said it in a low voice but Fyodor caught it.
Based on instinct he turned around. “Yes, I could help you with that.”
As the words came out from his mouth he regretted it. The man in front of him also looked shocked, he actually replied. The man coughed and offered a seat in front of him.
Fyodor dragged the chair and did as he said. They both stayed in an awkward state before Fyodor asked about what he had typed on his laptop. From that the conversation flowed. The red haired man talked about the novel he was writing and Fyodor listened attentively. Sometimes Fyodor would ask some questions and the man would type it as something to be added in the story. Sometimes it would be him that asked the questions to Fyodor about what he thought and he would answer the best he could.
The conversation was fun to both of them. Fyodor was clearly relieved the man enjoyed his company.
“Thank you, you really helped me a lot.” He made sure to save his notes. “Oh I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Nakahara Chuuya, nice to meet you.”
To say Fyodor was shocked would be an understatement. “ Even their name is the same! ” He stayed unresponsive and Chuuya needed to tap him on the shoulder for him to be alerted back. “Ah yes Nakahara-san, you can call me Fyodor.”
“You can call me Chuuya” He noticed at the time on his laptop and decided that he had stayed long enough. “I guess it’s time for me to leave, thank you again!”
As he heard the word “ I guess it’s time for me to leave. ” he panicked as the words triggered a flashback. He tried to speak but the words didn’t come out of his mouth.
Being oblivious to everything the red haired man flashed him a grin. “I will come back soon, the coffee and cake were delicious.” Then he left the place.
Fyodor walked back to his place and just stood there. A regular entered and he served her as usual.
“Oh my, what a big smile on your face. Something big must have happened to you.”
Only then he realized he was smiling and even after realizing that he couldn’t stop. He brought his hand closer to hide the smile but even that couldn’t hide his happiness. “Yes it had.”
After the working hours just finished he cleaned up and went to his room. He decided to build the place as both his home and for his coffee shop of which he was glad to do since he wouldn’t appreciate the hassle of having to walk everyday from home and work. He could cut a lot of time and he could rest faster.
He laid in his bed after taking a bath and pondered. His mind brought him to the word ‘reincarnation’. About how a particular soul could be reborn again. Did the person he just met was his reincarnation? He looked the same and even had the same name. It was such a big coincidence people could laugh at it.
He stared at the piece of paper Chuuya left for him. He typed the number in it and after mustering enough courage he sent “Hello Chuuya. Hope we can get along.”
Not long after he got a reply. “Who is this?” and he remembered he didn’t say his name on the message. He typed back “Ah, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Fyodor.”
“Ohh! Hello Fyodor!”
The black haired man sent him a message of good night and hoped to see him again soon which gave him a reply of stickers. He stared at his phone. If his theory was true..Then he would like to thank whatever divine being that gave him his second chance. He was determined to use it correctly this time.
.
.
.
Actually not. The next time Chuuya went to his coffee shop he felt shy and too embarrassed to approach him. When it’s time to serve, he told his employee to do it even if he was free at the moment. He could feel the red-haired man glare at him. But he justified his action inside his mind, your loved one had died before and his reincarnation just appeared in front of you, what should you do? He didn’t know the answer so he decided to do nothing.
Chuuya texted him about it, asking for an explanation on why he was ignored, but Fyodor just apologized and used ‘the coffee shop is full’ as a reason and a promise of next time.
He still gave him an extra cake tho in hope to soothe him. The first time he did that Chuuya just ate the cake and then left soon after. He looked a little bit dejected and Fyodor felt phantom pain in his chest. The fourth time it happened Chuuya stabbed his mille crepe cake and ate it while glaring at him, of which Fyodor could still feel the chills up in his spine till now. The fifth time it happened Chuuya refused to eat his waffle. He just drank his coffee, waited around 5 minutes, then left. The text also stopped and Fyodor wanted to cry, but he brought it on himself.
Fyodor let out a sigh as he put a bag of flour in his shopping cart. The red-haired man kept refusing to eat his cakes so he started to doubt whether the cake he made was delicious or not. But deep down he knew the reason was because he kept ignoring him. He frowned and walked to the fruit aisle. How shocked he was when he saw Chuuya was choosing oranges.
He immediately turned around to leave but it was too late as Chuuya saw him. He heard his name being called but he pretended not to hear it. After some time being chased he felt someone was touching his shoulder.
Out of breath, Chuuya said, “Fancy meeting you here Fyodor.”
He turned around and he could see Chuuya was smiling, but he could also see the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh I am just buying groceries for the coffee shop.”
Chuuya clapped his hands together and then grinned, “Nice, we can shop together then.”
Hearing the tone from his voice, the black-haired man decided to just agree. They went back to the fruit aisle, Chuuya picking up oranges and apples, while Fyodor picked up berries and watermelon. After that they circled around the supermarket, looking around for possible things to buy.
Chuuya stopped on the snack aisle and took some chips. They walked to another aisle and then he took some biscuits. Fyodor soon found out that Chuuya was the type of person that liked to walk around the supermarket. During their walk, Chuuya also took some instant noodles, nuggets, and ice cream at their respective aisle.
Fyodor stared silently at Chuuya’s shopping cart. There were too many processed foods and salty snacks. While there were fruits, they weren't enough. It irked him that maybe the shorter man didn’t eat healthily. He then went to the vegetable aisle, followed by the shorter man, and chose some carrot, pumpkin, and peas.
They walked to the cashier where Chuuya finally dropped the question, “Are you avoiding me?”
Fyodor gulped, pretending he didn’t know what the other was mentioning and had tried his best to show how clueless he was to the issue at hand. “What are you talking about?”
They arrived at the cashier, they chose the shorter line and waited together with Chuuya in front. Chuuya then turned around to face him. “Please be honest with me. I feel like I am being too forward with you even if we just recently met. Even today, I must be forcing you to grab groceries with me, right?” He took a breath to calm down and continued talking. “You must be annoyed with me, I am sorry.”
He really wanted to touch that face right now, such an angel like him shouldn’t be sad, ever. Fyodor gave him a soft smile. “Chuuya, you’re not annoying, you never are. I would have rejected your offer if that's what I really thought.”
There are words the red-haired man wanted to say, but he gritted his teeth and instead said thank you.
It seems like he still couldn’t believe him 100%. It’s Chuuya’s turn to check out and Fyodor helped him to take out Chuuya’s groceries from the shopping cart. “Hey, how about you come visit me again at 10 in the morning on Thursday, that’s the quietest time in the coffee shop.”
Hearing the invitation Chuuya perked up instantly. “It’s a promise.”
After the cashier finished scanning the items Chuuya paid for them. Fyodor also put his groceries for the cachier to scan, which Chuuya commented on. “Wow, you really like your veggies.”
The black haired man just smiled, in his head he already thought about possible recipes that use vegetables as the main ingredients. He also made a mental note to reduce the sugar on Chuuya’s cake.
After parting their ways, Fyodor went back to his house and entered his room. There was a brown door, he unlocked it and entered the room. Inside, there were several paintings of a young man in his mid twenties. Some were pretty worn out but some were still in a good condition.
He painted as a hobby a long time ago. It started when he found his muse, the feisty but caring red-haired man. He remembered painting Chuuya before, in their old home. He thought it would be difficult because the other man would move a lot, but surprisingly he could hold his pose quite well.
He took a seat and stared at the most recent one. On the canvas, it was always the same man, with the same smile. He painted this before he met Chuuya again at the coffee shop. Fyodor’s smile dropped as he remembered the times he wanted to burn those paintings. Fortunately he was able to stop himself, but still he couldn’t even forgive himself as why he even thought about it before.
Touching the paintings, he remembered the events today. Spending time with the shorter man is the best thing in his life and he wondered why he was so nervous before. He should be showering with all the love he could offer like before.
The black-haired man froze. Like before? No. The Chuuya right now might really be the reincarnation of his lover but it didn’t mean he could treat them the same. The said man right now didn’t even remember a single thing about them.
Fyodor tried to calm down his heart. He knew he should try to get closer to the red-haired man first. The attraction was real for sure, but if the reason was only because he got stuck in the past then as much pain it would cause for both of them he would step back. But, if both of them could find love in each other all over again, then Fyodor would take it. Even if it meant to hurt him again when he leaves.
---
Chuuya came as promised. He was dressed especially nice today, and Fyodor needed to look away for a moment. He walked closer to the counter, and ordered an iced lychee tea. He paid for his drinks and waited at his usual place.
Fyodor noticed that the shorter man didn’t bring his laptop today, instead he had a notepad. He quickly made the order. At first he made the tea, measured the lychee syrup, and took out the fruit from the fridge. After the tea was done, he mixed it with the syrup and poured the mixture into a fancy glass. He put some crushed ice giving the drink a colour gradient from clear on top to brown at the bottom. For a finishing touch he added two lychees inside the glass.
He took a pumpkin cake he made earlier, plated it, and put it on a tray with the customer’s order and some sugar syrup in a small glass. He also put a bamboo straw and a fork on the side of the tray before he brought it to his customer.
“Here’s your order, sir, ” he placed the order on the table, with a side of the usual free cake.
“Thank you very much, ” Chuuya grinned.
The black-haired man excused himself first to put the tray back and then returned and sat on the seat in front of Chuuya. At first they didn’t talk at all, only Chuuya drank his tea and tried the cake.
When the red-haired man did take a bite of the cake he furrowed his brows and lifted his head, silently asking Fyodor questions. The taller man already expected this reaction and explained that the pumpkin cake was a new product and it was already expected to not be sweet.
“Well, it’s still delicious but I like my cake more on the sweet side.” Chuuya didn’t lie, he really did think the pumpkin cake was tasty, he could taste the pumpkin and the cinnamon there. The cake was also quite dense but it was moist enough and he enjoyed it.
He sliced the cake with his fork and stared at the sugar syrup that was left. He contemplated whether to pour it on the cake but figured out it would be impolite so he restrained himself.
Fyodor saw the struggle on Chuuya’s face and he apologized in his heart, but after seeing his supposed groceries, he really wanted him to eat healthier.
Chuuya finished the cake and put the plate aside, the taller man wanted to bring it back and clean the table, but Chuuya refused and said to just do it when the other customers came.
“Oh, but no customers will come until the lunch break is finished though.”
The red-haired man stopped stirring his drink. “What? How come?”
Fyodor laughed sheepishly, “So I might have put a notice that this place just opened for half a day for today.” He pointed to the paper placed on the glass door outside. “It’s me who invited you in but I am quite surprised you didn’t see it.”
Chuuya’s face flushed red as he looked to the ground. He was so eager to meet Fyodor that he didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, and apparently, the very clear notice outside. But he felt something was strange so he voiced it out, “Why did you decide to open late today?” He already figured out that the black-haired man is the owner of the place, there’s no way a regular employee handed out free cake like him, but still that’s no reason to close the shop without reason.
To say the truth it would mean that he would admit that he did it all because he wanted to have an alone time with him and just him alone. He quickly racked his brain to find a good reason. “My employee had an exam tomorrow so she took permission to study. Handling this coffee shop alone would be difficult so I thought to close it for half-day.”
He hid the fact that he had contacted his only employee first about giving her a leave on that day. The employee was puzzled, but sensed the desperation as the black-haired man still gave her pay, so she agreed.
“Ohh, that made sense.”
The taller man was glad his bluff worked, he then changed the topic into something else and they chatted for quite a while. Chuuya told him about the progress of his novel and showed him his draft in the notebook he had carried along with him, Fyodor also gave him pointers when asked which again, Chuuya greatly appreciated. They also talked about other things like the rude customers, or what happened in their daily lives.
Time passed and the drink had long since finished and what’s left was the melted ice inside. Since the coffee shop only offered desserts and beverages, Chuuya decided to eat somewhere else and leave Fyodor to prepare to open the place for later.
Before going outside, suddenly a thought crossed Chuuya’s mind. “Hey Fyodor, how about I help around this place?”
“Huh?” The words were heard, but weren't quite registered in Fyodor’s head.
The shorter man walked closer and repeated his offer, “Let me help you, as thanks for all the drinks.”
With a blank stare and mouth barely agape, Fyodor could only reply, “What?”
“Okay clearly you are tired right now. You didn’t hear me for the second time.” Chuuya then grabbed Fyodor’s arm and pressed slightly. “Hmm, you are not cold, let me touch your forehead.”
Automatically the taller man leaned down. He didn’t even realize it until he felt the warm hand on his forehead.
“Hmm, a little warm but not dangerous I suppose.” Chuuya dragged his hand back. “Just close the shop today.”
Closing the shop meant he could rest and laze around, but opening the shop meant Chuuya could stay longer.
“I’ll still open this shop.” He saw the slight frown on the red-haired man’s mouth. “It’s bad for business if I close it. Also, my regulars might already saw the notice by now, surely they will be confused if I decide not to open at all.”
Chuuya wanted to argue but kept his mouth shut. Instead, he sighed and offered his help again. This time Fyodor accepted it and they both got ready to open the coffee shop.
But as opening time was getting closer, Fyodor was reminded about how clumsy his ex-lover was,
Fyodor asked again “Are you sure about this?”
“Of course I can. I have time to help, don’t worry about it.” The other said as he tied his hair in a low ponytail to keep it in place.
Seeing how positive Chuuya was, Fyodor grew more relaxed. Chuuya’s job was just serving the order and using the cash register, nothing worth worrying about.
Apparently trouble still happened.
Two plates and one glass were broken. It was okay, the mess was cleaned up, no one was hurt, and Fyodor could always buy a new one. But Chuuya on the other hand, felt guilty. The writer apologised and offered to pay for the broken plates and glass, but the coffee shop owner refused and joked the money from the drinks he paid was already enough.
In the end he texted his employee to still work on the day and told her to make up an excuse. Fortunately for him, Lucy didn’t make another schedule. She still demanded an explanation but after seeing Chuuya in the coffee shop she understood.
But that wasn’t the trouble.
A customer was making a scene and coffee was spilled. The customer argued the drink he got wasn’t the one he ordered but Chuuya was sure it was. He got angry, threw his drink and left without paying.
“It was clearly his fault!” The red-haired man was fuming. They were currently in the staff room and Fyodor tried to calm Chuuya. “He asked for coffee, and suddenly said he wanted matcha? Even the receipt he paid said coffee! An Iced Coffee Latte!”
Fyodor just nodded and offered a napkin to Chuuya, which he accepted and tried to clean himself. “Why don’t you clean up in my room? You can use my room and my clothes”
Chuuya refused but Fyodor insisted, saying he felt responsible and he could get a cold by working in wet clothes. Reluctantly the red-haired man agreed and went to Fyodor’s room with him.
Fyodor searched for his smallest clothes and found one t-shirt. He gave it to Chuuya with a towel and told him where the bathroom was, if he wanted to have a shower.
The black-haired man left to give Chuuya some privacy and to take care of the shop below his house. He was grateful he called his employee earlier, even if at first it was to make sure Chuuya didn’t break all the plates he had. He made another lie that the employee misread the exam date and hurried to the coffee shop to see what she could help. Luckily the employee got along with his lie.
As he walked back he was reminded of that bastard. How dare he! What if it was a hot drink? Chuuya could be badly injured. His eyes darkened as images of Chuuya’s skin getting scalded invaded his mind. Red was a good colour on Chuuya, but not that way.
Fyodor could feel his fangs itch with the promise of blood. He could track that customer, he got a connection that could help. It will be expensive but that connection also could help with corpse problems, so it would be worth it.
He stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled like he usually did. He could deal with that customer later, now he should take care of closing the coffee shop. The sooner he closed it the sooner he could go back to Chuuya.
As he served the customer, he noticed most of them hurriedly left, even the regular one. It was a good thing because he could close the coffee shop earlier than he thought but he couldn’t help but wonder.
“Hey Lucy, why do you think they are leaving early?” Fyodor asked his employee as they were cleaning up the coffee shop.
While mopping Lucy answered, “Probably because of your expression, Boss”
Fyodor wiped the empty glasses “Nonsense, I am smiling, aren’t I?”
Lucy glanced at him. His face was still adorned with a charming smile, but paired with darkened eyes and a crazed look. She chose to stay silent and continue mopping the floor.
When she was done, Lucy bid her goodbyes and Fyodor locked the door. He went back to his room and found Chuuya sitting awkwardly on the floor. His face softened as he walked and sat beside him.
Closing the door behind him, he said, “You can sit on the bed, I don’t mind.”
Chuuya lifted his head to see Fyodor and replied, “Well, you haven’t given me permission before, but I will keep it in mind next time.”
Fyodor gave Chuuya back his notepad that he left in the staff room. He could hear the red-haired man mutter, “I had a feeling I forgot something.”
The black-haired man offered a pillow for the shorter man to sit on, “How about you stay for dinner? Something to repay you for the trouble today.”
Chuuya took it and after muttering thank you he said, “No, I am good, need to go home soon. And what trouble? I am the one who caused trouble today. I broke too many plates and I even fought with a customer.”
Fyodor cover his mouth with his index finger to hide his laugh, “It was just two plates and one glass-”
“Which I supposed to break none of them.” Chuuya rolled his eyes.
They argued about who brought more trouble until they laughed about how pointless their argument was.
Fyodor accompanied him to his front door and bid him farewell, “See you later Chuuya.”
“Yeah, see you later.” He waved his hand, but stayed silent for a second and hesitantly asked “Oh, and umm, about the brown door in your room.”
The black-haired man was alerted with the mention of the door. Behind the door was filled with the paintings of his ex-lover before and he didn’t think Chuuya was ready to see it. “Hmm, what about it?”
“Nothing, forget I said anything.” Chuuya quickly dismissed it and changed the subject. “I will wash this shirt and give it back.” Fyodor was distracted with the fact Chuuya was wearing his shirt and screamed internally but kept a straight face.
They bid another goodbye and Chuuya finally left. Fyodor quickly walked back to his room and checked the door. It was closed like usual, it wasn’t locked because Fyodor never saw the need to, now he regretted it. He tried to pay it no mind, probably the red-haired man was curious on why the door was slightly different with the others.
Instead he focused his mind on something else. He watched the CCTV record and captured the face of that bastard before. He dialed a number and after a few rings someone answered. “Hello, it has been a long time hasn’t it.” His voice was cheerful but didn’t hide the reason for the call. “Well, I need you to find someone for me, I will send you the picture.”
He let the other person in line to talk before he replied. “Yes, when I am done you are free to do whatever you want with him.” He ended the call and felt another itch on his fangs. He hummed to himself as he imagined what he would do when he finally captured that sorry excuse of a human.
‘Nobody messes with my beloved’
----
After the ‘incident’ things had gone pretty peacefully. Fyodor got a package and after pestering Chuuya about it, the red-haired man finally confessed he was the one who sent it.
From the text the shorter man said, “You shouldn’t have known it was me! I didn't even leave a clue!”
In other situations he would be happy, and play along with Chuuya’s secret. But the present was….
Fyodor started to think what went wrong with his approach to Chuuya when he opened the box and found two small plates and one glass inside, the same as the one that got broken. He didn’t know whether to feel impressed or cry.
He didn’t use it for his coffee shop. Instead, he also bought a matching one and used that one instead. The one he got from the present, he put it inside his own cupboard.
He also told the story to Lucy when they were cleaning the coffee shop together. She shot him the most blank stare she could muster and went back to clean.
There’s a whisper in the coffee shop, that a man near his thirties was found dead. His regulars, especially the old lady, expressed their concern and told him and his employee to be careful. Apparently it happened in the gang near his coffee shop. He cursed his friends silently but still showed a fake expression of worry. To make matters more convincing he also closed his coffee shop early for 1 week, waiting for the matter to calm down.
His relationship with Chuuya on the other hand was going well and he couldn’t be happier. Chuuya was inside his house, drinking hot chocolate with some cinnamon, while working on his manuscript. He himself was reading a book Chuuya recommended.
Chuuya turned his hip to face Fyodor and asked, “Hey Fyodor, what do you think about this scene?”
“Hm? Let me see.”
The taller man walked and sat beside the red-haired man as they discussed the plot.
It was such a peaceful moment, just two of them together enjoying each other's company. The situation he could only have dreamt of in the past but now he could have it again. He wanted to put it inside a jar and cherish it forever.
Ah… The thought of trapping Chuuya… “ Mine ” his mind whispers, sending shivers to his spine in delight. But he quickly dismissed those thoughts.
He was afraid. He realized it himself that he began to feel more greedy with each passing second. But he also didn’t want to force Chuuya on anything. He didn’t want to move so fast.
Fyodor remembered the painting rooms he had. In the past, painting his beloved's face was the only thing that could calm him down, and it still was. He visited it often these days and probably would visit it again once Chuuya left his house.
He thought the shorter man would feel creeped out. So he still kept his hobby a secret and made sure his painting room was locked.
He was willing to wait
Even if he didn’t know how much longer he could wait.
“I will make some snacks, wait here.” Fyodor saw Chuuya nod and left the room to his kitchen. There, he cut up several pieces of white bread into vertical slices and put them in the oven. After it was done, he coated some of the toast with honey and left some uncoated. He took some cheese sauce he had prepared before and put them in a bowl.
He took a plate from his cupboard. It was the plate Chuuya gave him. He hoped the shorter man would notice though. Fyodor smiled as he imagined the expression Chuuya would give if he did.
As he plate all of them nicely he felt something was a little off, but he couldn’t figure out why. Moving faster than before, he cleaned up his kitchen and headed back to his room.
Each step felt heavier than ever. His hands felt cold from anxiety. ‘Something was wrong,’ his mind raced. He tried to concentrate on everything he did today and his mind came to one conclusion, “Did I lock the painting room today?”
Chuuya had shown interest in the room before, there's a chance he would try to enter it. He forced his legs to move fast but right before his hands reached the doorknob, he stopped.
Fear consumed his whole body. Did he really want to know the answer? What if he really forgot it? He deeply wanted to be proved wrong. though He hoped he would see the same angelic face, smiling when he saw him, and hear his laugh.
But as quickly as he tried to amend that mental worry, an explicit imagery of Chuuya backing away and screaming at him to back off; of Chuuya throwing a hard slap on his face for being a creep, and may other more that Fyodor unconsciously manifested had he hoped he's mentally and emotionally ready enough for all of it.
Wasting no more time, he opened the door to confirm his suspicion. In the flash of the moment he could see it.
The room was empty.
The brown door was opened and Fyodor rushed inside. He saw Chuuya standing there, with his back facing him and for a moment, the room went sickeningly still and too quiet.
Fyodor tried to approach him, he accidentally dropped the plate and the sound made Chuuya turn around. And Fyodor saw him.
Chuuya’s face was pale. Eyes were open wide, unfocused but looking everywhere, as if it was a canvas, disbelievement and fear were painted inside. There were dots of tears around the corner, ready to fall at any time. Lips were slightly open and trembling, taking and leaving as much breath as it could.
The temperature wasn’t hot, but he could see Chuuya’s sweating. The red-haired man hugged himself, as if exposed to danger. His shoulders were hunched and shaking. His pose was tense, as if ready to run at any moment. Fyodor could see how his mouth tried to make up a word but nothing came out.
It was a sight Fyodor never wanted to see again.
“Chuuya-” he paused to search for the correct words to say, but in the end he couldn’t say anything.
Upon hearing his name, tears fell on his beloved cheeks and how he wished to wipe it, he would even beg to be allowed. But as he walked closer he saw Chuuya flinch and step backwards.
Fyodor could feel his heart drop. Nothing else could explain his feelings except pure misery. There’s a dread in the pit of his stomach. He had met death before when they took his angel, and right now he felt that they had met again.
Chuuya bolted out the room, passing him. His feet touched the shattered plate and let out a small “Ow”. The voice itself activated an instinct inside the black-haired man and made him grab the shorter man's arm. The red-haired man tried to pull his arm away but Fyodor was desperate and grabbed him tighter.
Fyodor could hear the hitched breath and when their eyes met, he was greeted by the stricken terror inside.
With a weak voice and breathed voice Chuuya whispered, “Please… let me go….”
And he did.
Chuuya wasted no time to run outside and leave the house, not even bothering to take his belongings.
Inside the painting room, in a long time since forever, Fyodor felt empty again. The real reaction was far much worse than his imagination. The stares from the paintings, even if he painted them as lovingly as he could, suddenly it felt like they were judging him.
He picked up a shattered piece of plate on the ground. Like a broken trust, he clenched his fist hard enough to make a wound on his flesh. With a single drop falling from his face he whispered, “How can I fix this?”
---
It’s been 2 week since he last saw Chuuya. Fyodor did text him to apologize, to beg for permission to explain, but after getting a reply ‘Please give me more time,’ he stopped. The taller man said in the text was that he left his belongings to Lucy and he won’t leave the kitchen on Wednesday in case he wanted to come and take it. The last thing he said was, ‘I am sorry’, and the conversation ended just like that.
For now, it was a break time for the coffee shop. Fyodor turned off his phone after checking it for the nth time, there was still no message from Chuuya. “I messed up badly.”
Chewing her food and swallowing it, Lucy replied, “Keeping not only one, but many paintings of one person in secret can be creepy, Boss.”
He leaned back on his chair, hands being placed on top of his face as if to hide himself, he answered back, “Lucy, I have told you I have a reason.”
Lucy gulped her food and drank some water before she countered, “You only tell me what you did, not your reason, you think I will know that? And whatever your ‘reason’ will be it’s still creepy.”
In an exasperated sigh he replied, “I know.” He sipped some of his pomegranate tea and continued, “Even if I want to tell the reason I will tell it first to Chuuya rather than you.”
“Understandable.” With that their conversation stopped.
Not long after, when Lucy finished with her food and washed her dishes a ‘ping’ suddenly was heard and Fyodor hurriedly opened his phone. True to his assumption it was from Chuuya.
In a hurry he opened the message but closed it before reading the content. Negative thoughts flooded his mind, what if Chuuya told him that they shouldn't meet up again? He wouldn’t be able to handle being separated for a second time, he would rather die than suffer the same sorrow again.
Preparing his heart, and ignoring the glance from Lucy, he finally lifted his hand and read the message.
‘Do you want to meet up?’
--
They decided on the time, it would be 2 PM inside the coffee shop. Because they decided it would be the best to talk privately, Fyodor agreed on closing his coffee shop early. Chuuya also set up a condition that they shouldn’t be alone and Lucy should also be there.
Fyodor would like to talk just the two of them alone, but the terror inside Chuuya’s eyes flashed his mind and…... He gulped and forced himself to understand and accept the condition. He did wonder though since when did his employee get close with the red-haired man.
“Maybe if you pay more attention to your surroundings, not only your ‘beloved’, you would notice, Boss.” was the reply he got.
They both waited for Chuuya to come. Fyodor dug his nail on his other hand and occasionally dragged it. Several faint scratch marks crossed his left hand, before the bell to the coffee shop rang,
The red haired-man entered the shop carefully, Fyodor wanted to cry seeing how different it was from many previous times. The red-haired man looked tired, there were clear dark circles under his eye, he already had one but this one looked more prominent. He looked like an ill person. Fyodor laughed slightly inside, if he was to say it out loud Lucy must’ve given her sarcastic remarks again and said “you looked the same.”
They both choose to sit in their usual place, to give them some privacy. Lucy sat at a different table but close enough so she could still see Chuuya. The clock ticks continuously leaving no mercy, only silence and the awkward tension between them.
“I-” Fyodor swallowed and closed his mouth again. Chuuya stared at him, waiting, but when their eyes met the red-haired man looked away. He felt a twinge like wood stake inside his heart, and within a split second Fyodor blurted out, “I am sorry.”
This got Chuuya’s attention. He turned his head to look at the black haired-man and relaxed his back a little. “I am sorry too. I guess I over-reacted” Fyodor shook his head quickly and that earned him Chuuya’s laugh, “I mean, I opened the door without your permission too.”
The taller man quickly refuted back,“No Chuuya, it’s clearly not your fault, you don’t have to invalidate yourself!”
Tears started to poll on Chuuya’s eyes, he calmed Fyodor’s by saying it was okay and said, “We have a lot to talk about.”
And Chuuya began to talk. About his past experience.
“This might sound… made up? I don’t know..” He took some time to gather himself, taking a deep breath, biting his lips, drinking a water Lucy prepared before, and said it fast, “I used to have a stalker.”
The statement made Fyodor’s stance tighter, eyes starting to darken again but he quickly shook his head in an attempt to calm himself down. His concern toward the other man was greater than his rage. He smiled slightly and silently waited for the red-haired man to continue.
Chuuya began telling the story carefully.“It.. was very scary. At first I noticed someone kept following me, and even when I walked in circles they were still… there. I also sometimes felt a camera flash.” He let out a shaky sigh, tears started pooling up on his eyes, “I ignored it mostly but the gaze is too much to handle Fyodor, I can’t.”
He continued, finger shaking as he tried to hide it. Chuuya continued to speak about how the stalker knew where he lived and sent him packages that strangely were something that he currently wanted. “How did they even know? It’s more creepy than anything!”
It was followed by how the stalker sent him what the stalker said was a ‘Love letter’. Chuuya half-slammed his hand on the table, eyes wide and body’s trembling, “But it’s not! It felt more like a threat than love!”
Fyodor was frowning but he covered it with his hand. He also offered him to continue some other time if it was too much to handle, but Chuuya insisted on finishing it on the same day so that he didn’t have to try to remember it again tomorrow. Fyodor whispered ‘I am sorry’ and let the red-haired man continue again.
Chuuya continued to talk about this one man he met in his university not long after, how nice and sweet he was. “But fuck I was wrong. I trusted him! I was so stupid that I gave him my phone number.”
He forced himself to talk, voice became tight and he choked on some words. “In the middle of the night, I got a call from him, he said he would bring me a gift and I swear I never gave him my address.”
The red-haired man had difficulty breathing so he stopped in the middle of the sentence multiple times and the words sounded coarse, “He just suddenly said ‘look at the window’ and it’s him fucking there smiling like a psychopath. You want to know the gift? It was the pictures he took about me secretly with the note how cute I was being frightened.”
He whimpered and tears were falling heavily. Lucy came to sit beside to give him support which earned her his thanks. Fyodor on the other hand forced himself to not move. He also cursed his past self and the realization that the paintings could be a trigger to his beloved. Fyodor grabbed his other arm hard that it would bruise. He wanted to comfort Chuuya but also didn’t want to frighten him any more.
“He also tried to…..” Chuuya stayed quiet, and immediately moved the topic, from the reaction itself Fyodor could already guess what’s implied but decided not to mention it.
“In the end he got arrested and got a restraining order. After I finished uni I moved to another city and thank God I never saw him again.” The red-haired man let out a breath he didn’t know he held after finishing the story.
After assuring Lucy he was okay, the girl went back to her seat to give them both privacy again.
Chuuya was looking down and said, “Anyway, I hope this can explain my actions. I am sorry.”
Which Fyodor quickly replied, “There’s no need to apologize, it’s all my fault!”
Chuuya’s eyes were red from crying and Fyodor could see the tremble hadn’t fully stopped. Fyodor almost joined him in crying when he said, “You’re a nice person Fyodor”, because he clearly felt he wasn’t one.
“Why.. are you being nice to me? I would accept it if you punch me or even report me to the police by now.” In frustration the black-haired man held his hand to his head. “I know the story or not is not an excuse for me for doing something to trigger you heavily, even if it’s not intentional.”
Chuuya chuckled “To tell you the truth, I also don’t know.” He paused, “But.. After meeting you I keep having these deja vu feelings. Sometimes you even appeared in my dream!” He continued to speak as if reminiscing old stories, “We are in old times I guess? And you’re so sweet there.”
He smiled fondly, “I feel safe around you.” He paused a bit and then added “Even after me opening the door…. Ahh, and by the way I felt like the door was calling me? And you once said I was free to roam around, hence me opening it and seeing the paintings.”
“After the shock was over my heart still wanted to believe in you.” Chuuya lifted his head to meet Fyodor’s eyes, “And I will choose to do so, so Fyodor please, tell me your reason.”
There were no words fit to explain what Fyodor felt right now. He was shocked, delighted, confused, and touched with the revelations. Did Chuuya actually dream about their memories together? Feelings that transcend lifetime, oh how romantic it was.
But there’s another matter at hand, and after hearing Chuuya’s heartfelt emotion there’s no way he could tell him anything except the truth. Not wanting to hide it any longer he said with a serious face, “Chuuya, this is really true and I am not making this up.” He looked at the red-haired man’s curious gaze and revealed, “ I am a vampire.”
To which Chuuya almost shouted, “What?”
“I know it sounds ridiculous but I really am a vampire and I have lived for a long time.” He could see Chuuya was still processing the information so he waited some time before he explained more.
Fyodor tried to say it as convincingly as he could, “The reason why I kept them with me is… We were a lover in your past life. I kept painting you a lot then and even after you passed. I guessed I couldn’t stand the loneliness.” His face looked pained as he remembered his times alone. “That’s why I painted you.”
Chuuya still looked at him in bewilderment, in an attempt to try to understand more he asked “So the tomato juice you drink?”
“It’s blood.”
“The reason for the lack of mirrors you have?”
“I have no need for it.
“The garlic allergy you have?”
“Yes. Though they are quite delicious so I don’t mind eating them a little from time to time.”
Chuuya stared at the black-haired man, Fyodor answered him truthfully and he hoped his sincerity would reach him.
“I- I think I need more time processing this.”
Fyodor let out a genuine smile, “You can have all the time you need Chuuya.” He emphasized on his next words, “But please remember this, I won’t force you to accept it. I will accept whatever decision you make.”
“I-” he raised a finger, but stopped and took it close to his heart, he turned up, tear marks still on his face but he smiled affectionately and said , “Thank you.”
Seeing him, the concern inside Fyodor melted away and gave him a warm feeling. But the warmth soon made him see red as he remembered the damned stalker. He pondered about making another call to his friends to handle the situation or to do it himself.
The sounds of Chuuya’s voice brought him back and he paid attention to what the red-haired man said.
“Ahh, but can you remove those paintings? Maybe burn it so someone else can’t see it? Sorry but that still made me uncomfortable.”
The taller man blinked but assured him he would burn it all.
The red-haired man asked to be given more times to think about the situation. “As much as I trust you, it’s still too much for me to handle. I already forgive you but… I need more time again, please.”
After the conversation was over, they bid goodbye to each other, and Chuuya bid it to Lucy too and left the coffee shop. Fyodor still needed to wait but he felt better than before, he promised to be more careful in the future and to take care of Chuuya better.
A glint of red flashed his eyes as he began to think about what he should do to the stalker. First he needed to search him and then he would….
Lucy tapped him on the back and raised her eyebrow. “Ahh, I still have an explaining to do,” Fyodor thought.
--
At the end Lucy just stared at him like he grew another head but didn’t leave any comment. She left after saying she would be back tomorrow for work and promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone.
True to his words, he did burn all his paintings of Chuuya. It hurt him to do it but what was important was the present and he would do anything to make the present Chuuya happy.
He took all the paintings to an abandoned hospital, searched for a safe spot, and then set up the fire. After bidding one last goodbye he threw the paintings one by one to the fire and watched as the smoke flew to the sky. He also thanked the location his friend recommended, he didn’t have to worry about someone else noticing.
The ex-stalker matter was also solved. In the end he did it himself because he thought he would feel better that way. It felt nice to avenge his beloved in his own way. He would keep it a secret though because he didn’t want Chuuya to remember anything about him again.
It was around one week later that Chuuya came up to his house. It was during closing time and Lucy just shooed her boss away, signaling she would handle the clean up.
Both him and the red-haired man moved to the staff room. The atmosphere was less tense than before but still had that inking of awkwardness.
“I still find it hard to believe, you’re a vampire, but… I don’t think you’re lying.” He played with his hands, trying to find more courage, “Like I said, there’s this thing that keeps pulling me to you.”
Chuuya took a deep breath then he continued, “If it’s okay with you, would you like to give this relationship a try?” There’s a small lift on the corner of his mouth, “Let’s make a new memory together.”
Fyodor felt like he was dreaming, tears fell down as he cried “Thank you.”
The red-haired man laughed at him at the response, but not the loud laugh, instead it was one of relief and happiness.
“Let’s take it slow,” and Fyodor agreed.
They took pictures together, Chuuya was okay with it because he already consented to be in. They filled up an album quite fast as the shorter man said ‘Here’s to the new memories.’
They both still love on their own but there’s already a talk about moving together. The coffee shop business grew more popular and Fyodor hired one more person based on Lucy’s recommendation. He would always be grateful to find a great employee like Lucy. Chuuya still continued being a writer, but he claimed it’s more like a hobby for him now.
For now, they cuddled on the sofa, drinking hot cocoa together, leaving all their work and just resting. Fyodor looked at Chuuya who still focused on the movie and began to think about their future together.
There would be a time when they would part again, regular humans couldn’t live forever after all. But there's another alternative where he could turn chuuya also into…
He shook the thought, as tempting as it sounds he would never do something Chuuya didn’t want. Immortality also had its own cons and he didn’t want Chuuya to experience them.
For now, he would focus more on the present. He rested his chin on Chuuya’s head which his lover replied with leaning more to his chest.
For now they’re content.