Chapter Text
Katsuki was polishing some glasses behind the bar when the first group of idiots trickled in. Working at a speed dating place wasn’t really where he’d seen himself after graduation, but it certainly paid the bills and offered some entertainment. Watching all of those dumb extras trying and failing to flirt with each other made it much more bearable. Tonight he was also working with his favorite coworker. Denki was a bit stupid, but his partner in crime when it came to making fun of those desperate singles.
His last relationship had been ages ago, but Katsuki would never be desperate enough to go to one of these places and awkwardly flirt. One night stands were easy to come by when you had the looks after all. Of course there were times where he was jealous of others that had someone to come home to after a long day of work, someone to just be with, share space, but at least he had his freedom. Not that he really wanted it all that badly, yet no one had to know that little fact.
“Any good candidates today?” Denki asked in a hushed voice and Katsuki just grunted. So far no one had caught his eye, but usually there were at least one or two people worth watching. Either because they spectacularly failed at flirting, or because they were too egocentric and made a spectacle of themselves. He looked around the small tables again, observing the guy and two women that already sat there. Glasses, some dude with dark blue hair and surprise, glasses, sat ramrod straight, hands folded together on the table like he had a stick up his ass. Probably emotionally constipated too, or at the very least super stiff.
The women were chatting with each other, most likely friends who tried this together. As far as Katsuki had observed in the past, that usually didn’t end well at all, because they tended to favor the same guy and fought over him. Not that they ever wanted to hear the fucking truth, it was better to fight and drown their sorrows in alcohol, poison their bodies and make the place a pretty penny while they were at it.
Katsuki himself didn’t drink a single drop of alcohol even though stupid people probably expected him to try all of the things he mixed. In his youth he’d tried a lot and quickly realized that it absolutely wasn’t worth the consequences. Headaches, blackouts, those had been common until he’d one day decided to just go cold turkey. And Katsuki had never regretted his decision, even if it made him unpopular with people. What did he care about some extras’ opinions anyway?
He checked the liquor bottles one by one to see if any of them needed to be replaced. None of the few patrons had ordered a drink yet, but he knew they would after the first round of speed dating. Most people needed the confidence boost to keep going and make things a little less awkward. The interior of Midnight’s speed dating bar was pretty tacky in Katsuki’s opinion and reminiscent of a brothel. A row of plush red stools was in front of the bar and two chairs covered in the same fabric were at each of the small tables. Even the small booths in one corner of the bar looked like that, for those that ingested enough liquid courage to get real close.
“Everything ready?” Midnight inquired and Katsuki nodded, giving his boss a smirk. She clapped her hands and he could barely resist the urge to roll his eyes. “Fantastic. We’ll be able to start soon then.” The lack of customers didn’t seem to deter her at all, but it was still early in the evening and most people came in rather late.
Just as he was wiping down the bar one last time, a guy with weird dual-colored hair and another one with a mop of unruly green curls entered the bar. Katsuki gave each of them a once over. The dude with the weird candy cane hair was objectively speaking very attractive, but the passive look on his face made him seem like a complete bore. Greenie was the complete opposite though, rather average looking, with freckles on his slightly chubby cheeks and the biggest smile Katsuki had ever seen.
Green eyes met his and their gazes held for a moment before Greenie looked away, a slight smile on his face. He and Candy Cane went to sit at different tables and for some reason Katsuki caught himself looking in their direction more than he’d like to admit. A few other people trickled in during the next few minutes and shortly afterwards Midnight grabbed the microphone to do her usual introduction shit.
Denki sidled up next to him and leaned against the counter, gaze wandering over the group of customers. “That guy looks interesting”, he whispered and inclined his head towards the candy cane guy. Katsuki snorted.
“Yeah right, if you’re into fuckers that have the personality of a cold fish.” Denki snickered and lightly punched his shoulder.
“Always so judgmental, my dude. How about that green one over there?” Again Katsuki’s eyes found Greenie who by now had been paired up with one of the friend duo, the one with green hair that kind of looked like a frog. They seemed to be chatting amicably if you didn’t take a closer look, but he seemed a little uncomfortable, while she was staring at him weirdly, and only replied with short unenthusiastic answers.
“Maybe,” he murmured and Denki gasped behind him, putting a hand over his heart.
“Are you actually interested in him? Man, that’s a first for you. Who would have thought that you have feelings after all.” Katsuki fought the urge to slap him upside the head, but didn’t take the bait and stayed silent. “They’re looking pretty chummy over there if you ask me, dude. As Beyoncé would say: If you like it put a ring on it, before someone else does.”
“Fuck off Drooly,” Katsuki growled and shoved his coworker away. Denki just laughed and pointed those dumb finger guns in his direction before he moved to the other end of the bar. A shrill beep signalled the end of the first round of flirting and the scraping of chairs on the floor grated on Katsuki’s nerves, as all of the extras moved to the next table. Greenie was sitting at the one closest to the bar now, opposite Candy Cane. The guy’s mouth lifted slightly in a gross parody of what was probably supposed to be a smile and Katsuki scoffed quietly. What a fucking catch. Greenie seemed to be thrilled to see the guy and that really annoyed him for some reason, even though Katsuki told himself that it was only because he could do better.
“Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.” Katsuki was glad that he wasn’t drinking anything, because damn, he would have spit it right across the room. What made it worse was the deadpan way that Candy Cane delivered the line, holy shit.
“Wow, that was such a great pick up line! I’m Izuku, it’s so nice to meet you.” At Greenie’s answer, Katsuki really choked this time, because seriously? He thought it was a great pick up line? What the ever-loving hell was great about that idiotic drivel? At least he knew Greenie’s name now though, not that he needed to, not at all.
“Thank you, my brother bought me a book with those lines especially for this, so I memorized them all. I’m Shouto by the way.” Izuku’s huge smile turned into more of a grimace at the statement and Katsuki tried to mask his laugh as a cough. Green eyes were on him almost immediately and he felt a little like the proverbial deer caught in headlights.
“Are you okay?” the guy asked and Katsuki nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed. Candy Cane’s dead-eyed stare didn’t make it any better either. Midnight gave him the stink eye from across the room, so he was quick to nod and mumble a ‘fine’ in answer. Izuku stared at him for a moment longer, before he turned to Candy Cane again.
“So what other lines do you know?” Katsuki pretended to busy himself with checking the fridges, even though he didn’t really have anything to do. He almost groaned at Izuku’s question. On one hand he wanted to know what other bullshit Candy Cane could come up with, but on the other … he wasn’t sure whether he would lose brain cells by listening to this shit.
“You must be a high test score. Because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.” Quickly Katsuki slapped one of his hands over his mouth and squatted behind the bar, silently wheezing as Izuku choked at the line. As he looked around the corner, Candy Cane raised an eyebrow and lightly patted Izuku on the back.
“I’m very sorry if I scared you. Of course I would not introduce you to my mother tonight. That can wait until after the first date.” Izuku’s eyes widened and his face visibly drained of color. Before he could answer the beep sounded again. Katsuki straightened up and watched Izuku get up and make a beeline for him, just as Midnight announced they’d be taking a break before the next two rounds.
“What can I get you?” he asked with a smirk and Izuku sighed, burying his face in his hands.
“Something strong. I definitely need it.” Katsuki nodded and busied himself with making the man’s drink. Strong he could do. Moments later he slid a whiskey on the rocks across the bar. Izuku grabbed the glass, took a sip and proceeded to cough, eyes going wide.
“Too strong?” Katsuki asked and leaned far over the bar to clap him on the back, feeling solid muscle beneath his hand. Another thing the guy had going for him, damn. He rubbed little circles into Izuku’s shoulder and only stopped when the coughing subsided.
“Not used to it, because I usually don’t drink. But desperate times, you know?” He smiled sheepishly and Katsuki felt a small flutter in his stomach at the expression being directed at him. Izuku was so fucking cute.
“Desperate? Why the fuck would someone like you even need to be here?” he questioned and could see a faint blush on Izuku’s cheeks.
“S-Someone like me? What do you mean?” Did he really not know how hot he was? Fuck, why was he always into the weirdos? What next, he’d turn out to be a damn nerd?
“Well, you’re pretty hot. Usually we mostly see plain looking nerds or ugly extras who can’t get a date elsewhere.” Katsuki knew he was a little harsh, but after working at this place for a while and seeing the same types of people every single day, he felt entitled to say it how it was.
“Thanks, but I don’t really think so … Plus, I am a nerd.” Katsuki’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes very obviously raked over Izuku, taking all of him in.
“Well, you definitely don’t look like the usual kind of nerd.” He winked, then turned around and filled some other customers’ orders. Of course Katsuki didn’t miss the sputtering behind him and when he chanced a glance towards the other man, Izuku’s eyes were on his ass, but quickly snapped up to his face. Maybe he had a chance after all. Nerd or no, he really wanted into Izuku’s pants.
A few seconds later Midnight clapped her hands and herded everyone back to the tables. Katsuki really didn’t want to watch Izuku flirt with more people, but there was nothing he could do.
“I think he’s into you, too,” Denki whispered and Katsuki sighed. “What? You saw him gawk at your ass, didn’t you? Blasty, come on! Go for it!” The hard slap to his shoulder made him want to strangle the fucking idiot, but Katsuki had better things to do. Watching Izuku was definitely his priority. Candy Cane was paired with the glasses dude now, that made weird chopping motions with his arms and bent down so low that his forehead almost hit the table. Unfortunately they were within earshot.
“It is very nice to meet you at this esteemed establishment. I am Iida Tenya.” They shook hands and Shouto introduced himself to the guy, boring. Katsuki wondered if he would use the same lame pick-up lines on this one too.
His attention was drawn away by a loud laugh, and the fact that Izuku was sitting there and smiling widely at the brown haired girl with round cheeks didn’t sit well with him at all. They seemed to really enjoy themselves and she was touching his arm while talking. Sadly he couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine,” Candy Cane delivered in his usual deadpan way and made Katsuki look at their table again, to see how Glasses would react to the terrible line.
The guy pushed his glasses up and fixed Shouto with a stern look. “Transformers do not exist. There must be something amiss in your education if you believe that talking cars or robots exist. I don’t think we are compatible. I am very sorry.”
Wow, Glasses definitely took the cake of all participants in weirdo bingo today. Shouto just blinked at the dude and nodded mutely, folding his hands in front of him. “You are well versed in pop culture. I had no idea who or what a Transformer was when I memorized those pick-up lines.” The corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he regarded Glasses’ confused face.
Izuku and Round Face were still having a blast and as much as Katsuki tried to not give a fuck, he did. He wanted that brilliant smile directed at him and kiss it right off of Izuku’s damn face, before he’d drag him home. This kind of instant attraction was really unusual for him, because normally he didn’t care about the people he fucked or got fucked by, yet Katsuki actually wanted to get to know Izuku for some reason.
The beep sounded and signalled the end of another round. Round Face and Izuku hugged each other before she sauntered over to her froggy friend and started furiously whispering into her ear. Katsuki saw Izuku kinda hover at the table and when their gazes met, he winked at him. Izuku’s eyes narrowed for a moment and Katsuki was a little confused by the change in demeanor.
For the next round Izuku was paired with a blond dude that had a weird laugh and seemed to be boasting about his own greatness. He seemed bored and Katsuki caught him looking over towards the bar several times. It was the last pair up for the night and after that Katsuki usually got really busy, because most people either drank away their sorrows of another failed attempt at changing their relationship status, or had a drink with some new acquaintance they’d made.
Surprisingly Round Face and her friend left with Glasses, but he didn’t have time to look around and see whether Izuku was still there or not. A few minutes later Denki nudged him in the side.
“I’m taking over for you, but I want details tomorrow,” he murmured and subtly nodded towards the end of the counter. Katsuki followed his gaze and saw Izuku sitting there, who was nursing another drink that Denki had made him. “Get your ass in gear, lover boy or someone else might still snag him. Maybe even me, who knows.” Katsuki snorted, but silently thanked his coworker for the chance.
“How come you didn’t leave with Round Face? You seemed to be getting along well.” Izuku lifted his gaze from the counter and smiled at him, then shrugged.
“She’s nice, but I think we’re better off as friends. Plus, she has someone else she likes.” He took a sip from his drink, another whiskey on the rocks, Katsuki noticed, “And so do I.”
The odd glint was back in his eyes and Katsuki couldn’t help but shiver a little. He wondered who had caught Izuku’s eye and if there was any chance that it could be him. “Oh? Let me guess,” he pretended to think hard, then snapped his fingers, “the walking candy cane. I’m sure you’re eager to meet his mother.”
Izuku coughed violently as he choked on the sip of whiskey he’d been about to swallow. Katsuki smirked, completely unapologetic. “What, did I guess wrong?”
“Don’t … remind me,” Izuku rasped and covered his face. “I’m not ready to move that fast.”
“So you don’t put out on the first date? Interesting.” Somehow it was just too easy and too amusing to tease the self-proclaimed nerd. Izuku snorted and chucked the rest of his whiskey, before he set the glass down a little too loudly.
“I didn’t say that, but I’m not about to start planning a wedding after one date.” Katsuki shrugged and leaned onto the counter, head supported by one of his hands.
“What if Mister or Misses Right comes along, huh? What then?” He brazenly took a strand of Izuku’s curly hair and twirled it around his finger, enjoying the way the nerd’s face turned red.
“I-I … There’s always e-exceptions,” he stuttered out and Katsuki chuckled.
“Cute,” he murmured and grabbed a bottle of water, filling Izuku’s empty glass. The other man smiled in appreciation and downed it immediately.
“So, how about you?” Izuku eventually asked when slightly awkward silence had settled over them.
“What about me?” Katsuki returned the question, even though he was pretty sure he knew what Izuku wanted to know.
“Got a significant other waiting at home?” His hunch had been right and Katsuki mulled over a potential answer.
“Nah, I’ve been single for a while. People usually decide pretty quickly that I’m not worth the effort beyond a quick tumble between the sheets.” Better to be upfront and honest, even if he couldn’t quite mask the little hint of bitterness in his voice.
The smile dropped off of Izuku’s face and he watched Katsuki with a mix of curiosity and sadness. “Why’s that?”
Katsuki laughed self-deprecatingly. Where to even start with the long list of flaws? “I have a bad temper, I curse like a fucking sailor, I’m a neat freak, I have no damn tolerance for stupidity … to name a few reasons. I’ve also heard that I’m an emotionally constipated asshole. I’m a complete joy to be around.”
Izuku snorted and waved his hand dismissively. “No one is perfect. I guess those just weren’t the right people for you.” Katsuki raised his eyebrows and looked at Izuku, who looked right back. If the guy gave him any more reasons to like him, Katsuki would drop down to one knee and fucking propose on the spot. Usually people fucked off after that little speech, yet Izuku didn’t seem to care, at all.
“And you are?” It was out before he could stop himself, but Katsuki didn’t really want to take it back either. Izuku stopped in his tracks, then smiled sheepishly and looked at the counter.
“Maybe?” he mumbled quietly, but Katsuki caught it. It was now or never, time to make his move.
“Give me your phone,” he demanded and while Izuku seemed confused, he handed him the device after unlocking it. Quickly Katsuki saved his number and gave it back.
“Katsuki. A pretty name.” The comment made him want to hide, but Katsuki hid his embarrassment behind a cough. He realized that he’d never actually introduced himself.
“Thanks. Well, ball’s in your court now, Izuku.” The nerd nodded and a moment later Katsuki felt his phone vibrate with a message.