Chapter Text
There was a small, black ball. It just lay there in the darkness of the world, and though there was little light around, its obsidian surface shimmered and glowed. It would have been rather beautiful if it wasn't the most frightening thing in the whole universe. Whenever he stumbled upon it, he wanted to run, but he couldn't because then the world had become small, and there was nothing in there except for that tiny thing and himself. And the ball seemed simply to wait for him like it had a consciousness. It waited for him to accept that there was nowhere to flee to and no one to come and save him.
And once he did, the obsidian black would split open and burst into the bright light that turned life into death and memory into oblivion.
He gasped for breath, shooting upward and falling back onto a soft, brighter world. His eyes needed a while to realize what they had to do; his mind had to wring itself around the idea that he must have been asleep before.
When shapes became more apparent and contrast had rearranged itself, he looked around. He was at home, in his own bedroom, in his own bed.
Had he had a nightmare, he wondered? A very long one, probably?
Feeling came back slowly, and so did some pain. It took him quite an effort to even just push himself halfway up onto the pillows. There was some odd collar around his neck. It allowed him to turn his head sideways very faintly but not up or down or tilt it aside. His left arm and hand were caught in a brace that was strapped to his chest very tightly. He could not move it the tiniest bit from the shoulder downward. Pushing the bedsheet away, he found another brace around his right knee and was sure from feeling alone that both his feet had been clutches into something like that as well.
With his right hand, he searched his face and found some bandages around his forehead. Above the left temple, there was some hurt underneath that spread out when he touched it. A sting seared through his skull and his whole face. He gritted his teeth, but that only made it worse.
It took a moment for the pain to subside mostly, then he searched for more injury, but there didn't seem to be any. His head, however, felt strange. Like there was some water in it or some wool that made it heavy and slow, and in his ears, there was a very faint, high pitch sound.
He tried to speak, but his voice shattered in his throat into a million tiny splinters, which he choked and coughed on until he almost lost consciousness. The world turned dark again with many bright, colored blotches swimming about, but - when he calmed his breathing down and concentrated on the white noise that now even drowned out the tune in his ears - it changed back to reality.
"Tao?" he finally managed to croak. And did it again moments later, not sure if he had been loud enough for anybody to have heard him just a step away.
But then the door to his room was flung open, and the boy came running.
"Master Fei!" he chimed, skidding to a halt just short of the bed. "You're awake! How are you?"
There was so much joy and relief on the child's face; his eyes seemed to sparkle with it.
"I... I don't know", he could only answer. He wasn't sure how he was.
Tao understood. He sat down on the side of the bed gently, helping Fei Long as well as he could to sit up into a more comfortable position.
"You will be alright. The doctors say that you will be aaaalright. You just need to rest. You had a concussion; some broken ribs; your left arm is broken, and some fingers, and there was some fracture in your knee and your ankles. And you had a slight pnu... pneuno... pneumonia."
That seemed like rather a long list, but the way Tao just chattered it out, it sounded hardly as bad. "What happened to me?"
"Don't you remember? Uh... the doctors said that you probably wouldn't. There was some attack on that hotel where you went, and you fell into some lake or something?"
He turned his head the bit he could, staring into the distance of his darkened room. There were only some lanterns lit, and it was pretty dim in there.
They – Asami, Mikhail, and him – had met on Hainan Island to see Viktor Elisov. They had gone to his hotel to talk to him, but then there had been gunshots. Elisov had drawn a gun on him and had sent Asami and Mikhail to get rid of whatever was happening. Fei Long remembered being alone with Elisov and his bodyguard for a while. He remembered talking to the Russian but after that...?
There was nothing.
"Do you really not remember?"
He looked back at the boy's huge eyes, which now seemed glad and worried at the same time.
"No, I don't. Maybe that's better? Maybe it will come back to me", he answered and tried to smile a bit. It took most of the concern from the child's face.
"Um... Tao", he then started but paused for a moment. He needed to ask something – needed to know something. "Where is...", he stopped again, then chose the name of another he was worried about: "...where is Yoh?"
Tao now smiled broadly. "At home, I think. It is 8.30 in the morning. He was here every day to visit you."
"And...", again that other name was on his lips, yet he did not manage to pronounce it. But why? Was he scared of the possible answer? Or of the boy's reaction? Or of his own, when asking about him first? "And... what about Asami and Akihito?"
"They're fine. They left for Japan about a week ago."
"A week ago?" Fei Long gasped. "How long have I been out?"
On that, Tao shrugged but still smiled. "Nearly ten days. They kept you sleeping so you would be able to heal better and would not have any pain."
"I see," was his reply. He let his eyes wander around the room for a short moment, but he could not stop himself from wanting to know... no matter the answer. He needed to know!
"What about Mikhail Arbatov?"
There Tao's smile flickered for a second, but then it was back on. "Ah... he left for Macau... some while back. I'm sure he's fine."
"Oh," Fei long answered. It was little more than a sigh. Tao asked him something after that, about wanting something to drink or anything, but the man just shook his head as good as he could – which wasn't much.
"Uh, Tao?" he finally spoke again, and the boy snapped to attention so hard, the mattress trembled underneath him.
"Yes?"
"Can you get me my phone?"
"Of course!" the kid exclaimed and dashed from the room like a bolt of lightning.
Alone once more, Fei Long searched with the fingers of his right hand for his heart. There was no injury there, no sign of a scar or a bandage. Did that mean that all was well? That Mikhail had just left because he might have needed to? That he would come back?
Or was he gone because he had lost interest after all? Because of something happening in those hours Fei Long did not remember, or the days after that? Had he changed his mind? Or had it all been lies in the first place?
Before Fei Long even noticed, the boy was back, handing him the phone.
"I will tell master Zhuo that you are awake. And I'll call Yoh!" Tao declared, then was gone again, leaving the door to the room open.
Fei Long stared after him for a moment but then turned towards his phone. It had been charged though no one would have been able to use it, as it was guarded by an 8-digit pin and not by face- or fingertip recognition.
Even before he had put the numbers in, he was aware that there had not been any calls or messages. Otherwise, a notification of that would have shown on the lock screen. Yet, hardly consciously, he decided to ignore this, and instead, he started to search the device. This was his private phone, after all, so only a few people had that number. Mikhail did, and Akihito and Asami, Tao and Yoh... Very few others.
He checked all the apps and lists nonetheless in the hope that he might have missed something. But he hadn't.
Then he opened the information on the last number he had called himself – it was Mikhail's. His finger hovered over the call button for minutes while he tried so hard to remember that his head began to hurt, and the world seemed to turn darker again. He stopped finally, understanding that now there would be no memory returning. So, if he wanted to find out why Mikhail had gone home and had left him, he needed to call the man and ask.
He pressed the call button, listened as the number was dialed, as the ringing advertised that the line wasn't occupied or the phone switched off.
Suddenly there was a tune playing somewhere, but not in the small device. The phone almost slipped from his fingers when he turned toward the door, his neck aching a little bit as he did so. There was some music playing just outside in the hallway.
And then Mikhail stepped inside smiling.
"Oh, you bastard!" Fei Long gasped. He had almost thrown his phone at the man.
"It was the kid's doing, not mine," Mikhail excused himself, shrugging. He came to the bed and sat on the edge of it, close to the Chinese.
"I wish you had gone back to Macau, so I could tell you to stay there!" Fei Long hissed at him when the Russian's arms embraced him very tenderly, but playing at being angry made his head hurt and the world spin. He tried to keep sitting upright but couldn't fight the daze that spread through his mind. Mikhail caught him when he sunk against him.
"You need to sleep, Fei Long," the blonde man said. "You need to re- "
He did not get any further because Fei Long had grabbed his collar and had pulled him close to put his mouth upon the other's.
Mikhail froze in surprise for a second, then he smiled and sighed against the lips touching his own. He answered the kiss gently until Fei Long's head became too heavy. Then, he sank against the Russian and was held safely just as before.
"You need to rest, Fei Long," he heard the other speak and only felt as he was laid down on the bed again. Mikhail kissed his cheek and forehead, making sure not to get too close to his temple. But when he tried to get up, Fei Long caught his collar again.
"Don't go. Don't leave me", he whispered while his voice already trailed away into sleep.
"I won't," Mikhail answered. "I'll be here. I'll stay with you."