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Ghostbur had told Tommy to wait for him to get Phil and Techno, but Tommy couldn’t wait. Just minutes in the silence was enough for Tommy to want to suffocate and drown.
He was alone. Again. And he knew Ghostbur was coming back—what if he didn’t—but that didn’t stop the instinctual desolation that rose up within Tommy.
The idea of staying here in the silence was unbearable. Especially considering that Dream could decide to visit at any time, and Tommy would be at his mercy. And while Tommy knew exactly what Dream was trying to do, Tommy wasn’t sure how well he would resist the promise of friendship and company, even if it was fake.
What had Dream said that one time? You’re the only person who won’t listen to me.
Tommy couldn’t let Dream manipulate him any longer. Tommy couldn’t wait alone in the silence. Tommy couldn’t make himself easy to find.
So, Tommy spun around and left Logstedshire. He marched through the forest and into the snow. He was woefully underdressed for such weather, but he kept marching, trying to ignore the cold.
Just keep going. He told himself. Just get as far away from Dream as possible.
Soon, Ghostbur would come back with Philza and Techno, and they could leave Dream far behind.
A horrible thought occurred to Tommy as he struggled against a strong wind.
What if Phil won’t come? What if Phil was tired of his loud, abrasive, pathetic son? What if Techno hadn’t really denied his violent ways? What if he was just waiting for the right moment to strike?
You want to be the hero, Tommy? Then die like one!
Tommy tripped and fell face first into the snow. He quickly hurried to pick himself up.
Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe Tommy should just turn around, go back to Logstedshire, find comfort in Dream’s company, and—
What was he even thinking?
Dream was a damn liar. Tommy didn’t want to comfort in him. All Tommy wanted to do was get away from him. Maybe even take him down, somewhere down the line.
He pushed forward.
Night had long fallen, and Tommy struggled to push past the mobs that were now attacking him. New bruises and cuts added to the tragedy painted all over his body, and Tommy wondered somewhat hysterically if he was going to die in the snow.
Would it even matter? Would anyone even care? Did he even care?
But finally, Tommy saw it. A glimmer of light in the distance. Shelter. Safety. No Dream. Just safety.
Tommy forced his now aching legs to take a few more steps forward, because he was so close to his damn goal, and he wasn’t about to give up now. Just a few more steps—
Tommy tripped. Of course he did. He was a pathetic, unloved weakling, after all.
Ghostbur said he cared. Wilbur said he cared too.
Tommy rolled over on his back and stared at the night sky. Monsters had begun to ignore him, he was probably being well hidden by the falling snow covering him up flake by flake.
Maybe he should just die here. It would be less quick, and far colder than the lava, but it was certainly the easiest option right now. He could just close his eyes and let the cold overtake him.
“Tommy?”
You have got to be kidding me.
Tommy opened his eyes to see Techno’s face hovering over him. “Screw off, Techno,” Tommy grumbled, “Can’t you see I’m trying to die in peace?”
Tommy couldn’t very well tell in the dark, but he was pretty sure Techno blanched. Which didn’t make any sense at all, so Tommy just decided he was hallucinating. Damn his brain for making distracting hallucinations.
“What?” hallucination-Techno whispered. His voice was nearly carried off in the wind.
Tommy closed his eyes, blocking out the hallucination. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? Punishment for being the hero and all that crap?”
Suddenly, warm arms were heaving him out of the snow. Tommy tried to resist. He wanted to die in peace, damnit, but he was too weak to even push Technoblade away. Instead, he was horrified to find that he was leaning into the warmth of his older brother’s chest.
It was so warm. It was warmer than anything Tommy had experienced in so long.
When Tommy next awoke, he was bundled up in about twenty blankets. He tried to get up, but he felt so sluggish. Suddenly, harsh coughs shook his entire frame.
Tommy felt like crap.
Techno must’ve heard him coughing, because suddenly, he was at Tommy’s bedside, offering Tommy a potion.
Tommy drank it. He felt marginally better, but still pretty crappy overall.
Technoblade and Tommy sat in silence. Tommy didn’t know if he wanted to fill the void that was suddenly between them. On one hand, Tommy hated Techno with his guts, and the idea of even trying to talk to the man sitting next to him was revolting.
On the other hand, Tommy hadn’t had a civil conversation with his brother in so long, and he kind of wanted to know what that felt like again. Not to mention that he was planning on going on an adventure with Technoblade if all ended well.
Who even knew anymore? Tommy sure didn’t.
“Tommy,” Techno finally said. His voice was rough, but quiet. He sounded worried, but that was so very unlike Techno that Tommy dismissed the thought immediately. “What happened?”
“Dream screwing happened, that’s what,” Tommy muttered. Techno startled. Tommy grinned dryly. “You think leaving me alone in exile with Dream was going to end well for anyone? Dream is a damn liar, so I ran away.”
Tommy’s voice was slurred as he spoke, and he was surprised that Techno understood him at all.
“And you came to me, why?” Techno’s face was riddled with confusion, another emotion Tommy was unused to seeing on his older brother.
“I don’t know,” Tommy slurred, “I missed you, I guess.”
Damn these illnesses, revealing embarrassing truths that even Tommy didn’t know.
Techno shifted uncomfortably, looking awkward. Now that was a state of being Tommy often saw Techno in.
“I messaged Phil,” Techno said, “He’s coming over with Ghostbur soon.”
That was good, at least. Tommy closed his eyes. He was so tired.
He was probably imagining it, but he could’ve sworn he heard a whispered, “I’m sorry,” as he drifted off into the realm of sleep.