Chapter Text
Furnace hums through the apartment, keeping everything at a toasty 22°. It’s raining hard (has been for days now), windows and balcony doors slicked down, gusts of wind throwing droplets against the building in violent fits. There’s a movie playing, some classic Christmas flick or another. Two empty mugs sitting on the coffee table, one of them still bearing the aftertaste of eggnog and holiday spices.
Kaneki is distracted. The warm coffee settled in his stomach has made him at once drowsy and listless, his hands keep shifting. He knows that there is a movie playing, but can’t bring himself to focus on it. His boyfriend is sitting with him on the futon, pressed comfortably against his side, an arm slung over his shoulders—he knows this, too. Still, the half-ghoul’s mind is drifting, his hands shifting without aim as his eyes slowly close.
“Hey, Kaneki?” Hide speaks up now, his mouth close to Kaneki’s ear, voice cracking with strain. “Could you… maybe… listendoyourealizethatyouhavebeenstrokingmythighforthepasttenminutesitisdistracting.”
Kaneki blinks, turns his head to look over at his boyfriend. Their noses bump. “Say that again?”
“Listen, do you realize that you have been stroking my thigh for the past ten minutes,” Hide repeats, this time more slowly. “It is distracting.”
“What, this?”
Kaneki runs his hand from where it’s resting on Hide’s knee up the inside of his leg, stopping just before his fingers can brush against the bulge in Hide’s pants. Hm. So it really had been distracting.
“Ka~ne~ki.” Hide sounds as though he’s singing and biting out Kaneki’s name at the same time. He pulls the ghoul’s hand off his thigh and places it back on his own. “Quit it.”
Kaneki lifts his eyebrows in surprise. Generally, Hide is one to crave physical contact. Far more than Kaneki does, anyway.
“Why?” he asks.
Hide’s flustered expression gives way to something more playful. He flashes a grin across to his partner, honey brown eyes dancing.
“Because then I’ll kiss you.”
“Oh dear,” Kaneki replies dryly. His hand moves back to Hide’s thigh, slides up. “I suppose I’ll just…” He scoots closer, shifting his weight. “Have to provoke you.” He swings himself around until he’s straddling Hide’s lap, knees trapping his legs while his hands settle on the inside of his thighs. He smirks, meeting Hide’s playfulness with a bit of his own. “How awful of me.”
“How awful,” Hide agrees, and pulls Kaneki down to kiss him.
Lips open immediately, tongues entwining as they curl fists in each other’s hair. Hide moans, somehow, always, sounding amazed. It’s a little embarrassing, Kaneki thinks, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t adore the praise. He can never get enough of it, he would be content to drag these little sounds of awe straight into his own mouth for years to come.
From the looks of things, that was exactly what was going to happen.
Hide’s hands move away from Kaneki’s hair, sliding down his back to grip at his ass, pull him forward. He’s demanding more, and Kaneki will absolutely give it to him. He turns Hide so he isn’t up against the back of the futon, pushing him down on the cushions. Hide resists for a moment so Kaneki stops, watching appreciatively as his grinning boyfriend pulls his loose T-shirt off over his head, tosses it somewhere on the floor.
More distractions. Kaneki is alright with that. His fingers trace over Hide’s stomach and chest, where soft rolls of fat are becoming toned from his work at the CCG. It won’t be much longer before he’s a proper investigator, his superiors are claiming. Kaneki tries not to think about what that implies, just focuses on the heat of Hide’s skin and how soft it is, how delicious he smells.
Maybe he shouldn’t mention that part.
“Oi, Kaneki.”
The ghoul twitches back in surprise as his boyfriend reaches up to tweak at his nose. Hide grins unabashedly, his eyes dancing at the fun of it all. Kaneki is distantly aware of the Christmas film playing in the back, glances to the side as the puppets start singing again. Hide huffs lightly and fumbles for the remote, turns the set off before flopping down on the cushions again and smirking up at his boyfriend.
“While I appreciate your admiration of my not-at-all impressive abs, I think there’s some making out we need to get back t—oooooh fuck.”
Hide’s head slams against the futon as his back arches. Kaneki settles his hands on either side of Hide’s hips and repeats his action, grinding down hard. Just the way Hide likes it. His boyfriend turns an almost accusing stare up at Kaneki, honey brown already darkening.
“H-hey, that’s not ki—kissiiiinnngggg holy shit.”
Hide swears a lot when he’s aroused. Do him just right, and that’s all he can do. Kaneki finds it endearing. Hide’s hands flutter around, lost until they anchor themselves on Kaneki’s hips. Kaneki keeps rocking, grinding his hips down toward Hide’s until the other man’s skin is colored with blush from his cheeks down to his chest, mouth hanging open as he gasps out curses. Kaneki is well aware of his own arousal by now, and stops grinding in favor of giving Hide was he originally asked (“threatened”) for: kisses.
Not exactly in the way he asked for them, however. Kaneki’s lips press up against the bare edges of Hide’s hipbones, trailing kisses up his stomach and ribs and dwelling over his chest to suck at each nipple, rolling his tongue around until they become stiff.
Hide’s skin is hot, flushed, tantalizing. As Kaneki moves to suck at his collarbone, leaves open-mouthed kisses along Hide’s throat, the human whines. The neck is a sensitive place on anyone and for them, it’s a play of trust. Hide leans into the touch of Kaneki’s lips, breath shuddering, and Kaneki sucks, sinking his teeth into the tender flesh and pulling back only when he’s certain he’s left a mark, placing gentle kisses over it. He repeats the action until there’s a crescent of bruising red marks around the base of Hide’s neck and a few left higher up.
He pulls back in surprise as his partner begins to laugh breathlessly. Hide’s eyes are closed, a dazedly pleased smile across his face.
“G-guess ‘m gonna be wearing turtlenecks to work this week,” he remarks, eyebrows quirking in amusement.
Kaneki smiles back down at him, though he knows it can’t be seen. He leans down again, kissing under the curve of Hide’s jaw. “Guess so.”
“Mmmm.” Hide’s thumbs roll circles into the skin over Kaneki’s hips. It’s soothing. “Good. Like it when that happens.”
Kaneki laughs quietly, shaking his head. “You’re so strange, Hide.”
“You love me,” Hide replies cockily.
Kaneki is pushed back by the shoulders, and this time Hide’s eyes are open, staring straight up into his partner’s. His pupils are blown from the force of his arousal, yet his expression is completely sincere. Kaneki doesn’t know how he does it.
“You really do.”
Kaneki only hums and leans over to kiss Hide on the lips, finally giving his partner the chance to reciprocate. Hide groans in the back of his throat; the wait must have been harder than he’d let on. Kaneki parts his lips willingly and Hide’s tongue thrusts in, running along the edges of Kaneki’s teeth, the roof of his mouth, pushing at his own tongue. It’s another play of trust for them, and they have so many by now there’s hardly a second thought.
Kaneki moans back into Hide’s mouth, coaxing him to do more, and Hide responds with fervor, practically fucking his tongue into Kaneki’s mouth, moving his lips for better holds, better angle. Kaneki eases under his control, because it’s nice, sometimes, to just let Hide do what he wants to. He had been teasing him for all that time, after all.
Hide reaches down to pull at Kaneki’s length through his pants, still kissing him. Kaneki sucks in a breath, toes curling, moves his hands to mirror the action and—
“What are you doing?”
The sound of another voice—his own voice—is so deeply startling to Kaneki that he flinches back from his partner with a squawk and falls right off the futon, slamming the back of his head against the edge of the coffee table. He scowls at the dent left in the wood, the two mugs spinning nervously on their round bases.
“Hey, man,” Hide says, going for casual but just coming out as somewhat strangled. “Thought you were in the shower?”
“I finished,” comes the blunt reply.
“Unlike us,” Hide mutters, and his boyfriend’s face twists awkwardly.
Their interrupter is… a curious story. The white-haired copy of Kaneki (Shiro) had shown up out of nowhere one day, fought and beat Kaneki close to death, and then proceeded to follow him and Hide home. It turned out that he had no place of his own to return to, and somehow Hide managed to convince Kaneki to let him stay with them.
The ghoul has a disturbing past, that much they understand. Somehow he was created from a piece of Kaneki’s kagune. None of them understand that. Science is strange.
Shiro has been staying with Kaneki and Hide for over a month now, and it’s gotten... frustrating, at times. With Shiro around, Hide and Kaneki no longer have free reign of their own apartment. No more loud sex (in fact, no sex at all since he’s come along), making out is a rare occurrence, and Hide regularly mourns the fact that he can’t wander around the apartment naked anymore. Not with Shiro sleeping on the futon.
The futon that Hide is currently lying shirtless on. And from the looks of the things, Shiro is also shirtless. Hopefully not pants-less as well. He shakes his head, droplets flying loose from snowy locks. Hide sees Kaneki frown at just how much more built (better) the other ghoul is, and his brow creases in a mood Kaneki can’t identify. The human turns a smile up at Shiro.
“So. You planning to put a shirt on anytime soon?”
Shiro gives him a pointed look. “You’re not wearing one.”
“That. Is true. Kaneki, could you toss me my shirt?”
Kaneki nods and tosses the article of clothing in Hide’s direction, standing as he does so. Hide catches the shirt clumsily, turns it right side out again and fumbles about to make certain he doesn’t put it on backwards. He still does, of course.
Shiro towels at his hair, apparently lacking anything better to do with his time. Now that Kaneki is standing, he can see that the other ghoul is wearing a loose pair of boxers. Hide’s. That leaves a bitter taste in Kaneki’s mouth (jealousy), but at least he’s wearing something.
“So what were you doing?” Shiro asks again, glancing between the two boyfriends. A single droplet runs down his chest, over his abs. Distracting. “Both of your heart rates are elevated, your breathing is short, and Nagachika’s face is red.” The ghoul’s eyebrow lift curiously. “Some kind of exercise?” Eyes narrow, one of those vaguely hostile expressions Kaneki still can’t figure out. “Or torture?”
“Pfff, no,” Hide chuckles. He’s finally got his shirt on the right way and now rolls up to his feet, bouncing slightly. He shrug, gesturing between himself and Kaneki. “We were kissing.”
“Kissing,” Shiro repeats. Frowns. “Doesn’t look very pleasant.” He gestures to his neck in order to indicate Hide’s own. “Is Kaneki trying to eat you?”
“Personally, I’d prefer that he’d eat me out, but that’s another story,” Hide says lightly. Kaneki chokes on air, and his boyfriend pats him on the back like he hadn’t just said that to his irritatingly superior replica. “Nah, he’s not trying to eat me. It’s just kissing. Something you do for pleasure.”
Shiro frowns again, doubtful. “Certainly doesn’t seem that way.”
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.”
At Shiro’s squint, Kaneki tries to explain. “He means that you shouldn’t judge something before you’ve tried it yourself.”
“Then do it to me.”
Kaneki blanches. “Hm?”
Shiro’s expression is entirely serious. “Kiss me,” he says bluntly.
Hide looks between the two ghouls, his eyebrows slowly scaling upwards as his lips purse in surprise. “Uhhhhh,” he says with eloquence. “Just… give us a second, Shiro-san.”
He steps closer to Kaneki, lifting his eyebrows at his partner in question. Kaneki just stares back in bewilderment.
“What is the issue?” Shiro demands. He frowns (again) as he leans over the back of the futon, setting his forearms atop the furniture.
“Well, for some people kissing is just… a casual thing,” Kaneki tells him, gesturing awkwardly as he attempts to convey the sheer volume of what the other ghoul has just asked for. “But with Hide and I, it’s personal, so…”
“We only kiss because we’re close to each other,” Hide clarifies.
“I see.” Shiro vaults over the futon with ease, takes two more steps until he is bare centimeters away from Hide’s face. “Like this?”
Hide’s throat works as he blinks down at the ghoul. His cheeks are beginning to color again, and he laughs. Comes out as more of a giggle, however. Kaneki frowns.
“N-not exactly,” Hide squeaks. He straightens up even though he is already taller than Shiro. “Uh. I meant close as in, um, close emotionally.”
Shiro’s brow furrows. “I don’t understand.”
“Hide and I have known each other for a long time,” Kaneki elaborates, stepping in to pull Hide away from the other ghoul. Shiro almost looks disappointed by the sudden lack of presence. “And we love each other, like that. So we’re close. That’s why we kiss, it’s a sign of… intimacy. Between the two of us.”
Shiro’s brow is still furrowed. He looks between Hide and Kaneki for a few moments before looking down at the floor, cracking his knuckles as he thinks.
“I do not think that I have existed long enough to achieve intimacy,” he says eventually. He’s picking out his words with unusual care, abandoning his typical bluntness. “But I would think that out of anyone else I have encountered, you two are the only ones I am somewhat… close to.”
“Oh,” Hide says softly. Kaneki can only stammer the ghoul’s name in quiet shock.
The boyfriends look at each other again. Hide reaches over to Kaneki, loops his fingers around his wrist in a gentle hold. His gaze is serious, warm.
“What do you say, Kaneki?” he asks. “I mean. I know we’ve both been thinking about it.”
Of course he’s known. He’s Hide. Still, Kaneki feels nervous at the thought. Dirty? He doesn’t know. The half-ghoul gestures between himself and his partner, and the ghoul waiting silently off to the side.
“But… three?” he questions, his anxiousness bleeding through his tones. “Isn’t that… depraved?”
Hide bites his lip, but ends up laughing anyway. And just like that Kaneki is at ease. Hide flashes him a playful grin, eyes crinkling. “Considering some of the shit we get up to, Kaneki, that is a really funny thing for you to be saying.”
“Oh, shut up,” Kaneki mutters, but a slight laugh escapes anyway.
“There’s no harm in trying,” Hide points out. His thumb gently massages the underside of Kaneki’s wrist. “But only if you want to.”
Kaneki looks at Shiro. Looks at Hide. Closes his eyes and releases a long, slow breath. When he opens his eyes again, Hide is still looking at him expectantly, waiting for his partner’s answer. Kaneki doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say, words have never been his greatest skill, so he just nods, because for Hide that will be enough.
His boyfriend smiles warmly, kisses his cheek, and turns the smile to Shiro next.
“Looks like we’re gonna be kissing you!” he says cheerfully.
Shiro seems interested but not terribly enthused. Hide is looking thoughtfully between the three of them, and Kaneki knows that he’s figuring out how they’re supposed to go about this. He decides to leave his partner to it; Hide generally knows what he’s doing when it comes to anything involving the management of other people. Though “people” may not be an appropriate term for a human, a half-ghoul, and a ghoul grown from said half-ghoul’s kagune.
“Futon,” Hide decides, nudging both of the ghouls toward it. “Kaneki, you show him how it’s done. I figure it’ll be best if a ghoul’s first kiss is with another ghoul. In case of any startled biting action.”
“What about you?” Shiro questions. He refuses to sit on the futon just yet. Kaneki is already waiting.
“I’ll be sitting right behind you,” Hide answers. “It’s your first time doing anything like this, so we gotta take care of you, right? It’s very convenient that you’re not wearing a shirt, by the way.”
“Then why are you wearing shirts?” Shiro asks. He looks between the couple, a slight frown already creasing his features.
Hide smiles reassuringly, placing a light hand on the ghoul’s shoulder. He regards it for a moment before deciding to leave it be. Not something he would’ve done during his first days here.
“We’ll get there,” Hide assures Shiro.
His smiles turns playful now, and Kaneki can already see the beginnings of that other type of playfulness, one that’s promised long nights in the past. He really is pleased with this idea. Hide pushes lightly at Shiro’s chest.
“Now sit down, face Kaneki. It’s about time you got kissed.”
Shiro sits, almost warily. Hide takes his place behind him, places his hand back on the ghoul’s shoulder. This time Shiro flinches, snapping his head around to look back. Hide doesn’t look even a little bit startled. Kaneki admires his calm.
“Just remember,” the human tells Shiro. “If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, you can tell us to stop. We’re not going to force you into anything you don’t want.”
“We’ll be asking you questions as we go,” Kaneki adds. “If it feels good or bad, just let us know.”
“We want you to feel good about this,” Hide finishes. “All of this.” Taking care, he presses a soft kiss to Shiro’s shoulder blade. “This okay?”
A perplexed expression is on the ghoul’s face, like he isn’t entirely certain what to think of the new sensation. Eventually he nods, and Kaneki can tell that Hide has smiled. Now it’s his turn. Kaneki scoots a little closer, and as his knees bump in between Shiro’s, the ghoul turns his attention to him.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” Kaneki tells him. He licks his lips, and Shiro mimics him.
“Is that okay?”
Shiro nods. Kaneki lifts his hands up to either side of the ghoul’s face, running his thumbs over the sharp edges of his cheekbones. Shiro’s gained a lot of weight since coming to live with them, but the signs of wherever it was that he came from are still evident. Kaneki pulls his focus away from that and leans forward, rising up on his knees slightly, and presses his lips to Shiro’s.
Kaneki’s first kiss with Shiro is different, far different from his first kiss with Hide. There’s no enthusiasm or anticipation, no delight. Only tightly-wound wariness. Kaneki can feel Shiro shaking with tension (fear), and immediately he pulls back, looks seriously into mirroring gray eyes.
“Is it because I’m a ghoul?”
Shiro nods, reluctantly. Kaneki repeats the motion, releasing a quiet sigh. He understands Shiro’s apprehension. It’s only natural for him to be uneasy about this much proximity with another ghoul, especially one that he’s fought (beaten) before.
“Shiro-san,” Kaneki says, after he’s thought for a bit. “I’ve been doing this with a human partner for five years now. I promise you, you will not be hurt.”
Shiro bristles. It’s unexpected, and Kaneki can see Hide cautiously scoot back. He’s on the kagune end of things. And somehow Kaneki just put him at risk.
“I do not fear pain,” Shiro snarls.
“I’m not saying that you do,” Kaneki answers, though a small part of him thinks that perhaps he should. “But no one wants to experience it. At least, not normally. And something like kissing isn’t supposed to be painful. So if you’re hurting for any reason, you need to let us know, because that would mean we’re doing something wrong.”
“Very wrong,” Hide murmurs.
Shiro relaxes. A little. At least he doesn’t seem quite so angry anymore, going from the fact that Hide has moved closer again. His gentle massaging at the ghoul’s back seems to be helping. Kaneki leans forward for a second time.
“Now, I’m going to kiss you again,” he tells Shiro, moving his hands up. This time they curl behind his ears, slide up into feathery white hair. “Try to relax, okay? It’s much better that way.”
Shiro nods, and Kaneki kisses him again. The other ghoul is still tense, but this time Kaneki decides to stay for a little while, and he can feel as Shiro slowly relaxes underneath him. His mouth presses back against Kaneki’s, and Kaneki smiles, pulling back just to kiss him again.
Shiro’s lips part in a sudden gasp, and he pulls away from Kaneki to twist his head around, stare down at Hide kissing along his shoulders. He has that playful light in his eyes as he lifts his eyebrows, peers up at Shiro.
“This okay?” he asks.
Shiro’s eyes are half-lidded, he’s contemplating the sensations again. Eventually he nods, and Hide returns his attentions to the ghoul’s back. Kaneki turns Shiro’s face back towards himself and kisses him again. It gets easier, better, with each contact. The half-ghoul moves away from lips now, kissing at cheeks, chin, nose.
“How’s that?” he murmurs in question.
“Feels a little silly,” Shiro mutters back. “But… not bad.”
Kaneki licks his lips and again Shiro copies him. Their tongues come startlingly close to swiping across each other, but neither ghoul reacts. Kaneki measures Shiro for a moment, thoughtful.
“Then how about this?”
He leans down, under Shiro’s head, and kisses open-mouthed at the junction of neck and jawline, pressing his tongue against hot skin. One of Hide’s favorite places. He hears Shiro suck in a breath, feels his arms twitch at his sides.
“Yes,” he breathes.
Kaneki feels triumphant, he’s found something that Shiro has no doubts over liking, and he withdraws for a moment to take Shiro’s hands, pulling one into his hair and guiding the other to his back.
“I, I like this,” he explains quietly. “If you’re alright with—hm?”
Shiro has moved the other hand, tugging now at the front of Kaneki’s shirt. “This is in the way,” he states, clearly disapproving.
“You want me to take it off?” Kaneki asks. Shiro nods.
“Mine, too?” Hide adds. Shiro nods again.
The boyfriends scoot back for a moment as they pull loose-fitting T-shirts off over their heads (both Hide’s). Kaneki smiles briefly as he sees the beginnings of a blush on Hide’s cheeks already. His partner notices, of course, and sticks his tongue out in response. They both giggle.
Shiro is craning his neck to look at both of them, and he seems satisfied.
“This is fair,” he decides.
“Oh yeah,” Hide hums, and immediately focuses on Shiro’s back again.
Kaneki takes note of the soft sigh it induces from the ghoul and reaches for Shiro’s hands again. The ghoul lifts them up before he has the chance, tangling fingers in Kaneki’s raven hair and sliding rough-padded palms down the smooth skin of his back.
Kaneki places his own hands on Shiro’s shoulders for balance before leaning under his head to kiss at his neck again, rolling his tongue slowly (cautiously) over arteries and jugular. Shiro breathes in sharply before tilting his head to the side, giving Kaneki free access.
The half-ghoul closes his eyes, pressing his lips, tongue, against the vulnerable flesh in soft touches that hardly even seem real. Yet he can feel Shiro’s pulse under his skin, sense the beat picking up and oh, oh, his scent is so wonderful it could drive him mad but restrain comes first.
“Kaneki,” Hide whispers.
Kaneki’s eyes flare, responding to the call of his lover. He’s startled to see Hide looking straight at him, but he doesn’t stop kissing Shiro’s neck. Hide is doing the same, in fact, along the back of Shiro’s neck, and the ghoul’s breathing continues to stutter under their attention. Hide breaks away between kisses, however, to whisper praises to Kaneki.
“You’re being so gentle to him, so good… you like it, Shiro-san? You like how careful he is?”
“Yes,” Shiro grunts, his voice thrumming against Kaneki’s lips. It makes the half-ghoul’s eyes roll shut, it’s pleasant, but Hide is talking to him again.
“Keeping your hands still, so still…”
The human marvels at Kaneki, fitting his lips around the knuckles of his lover’s fingers, sucking at each one. Kaneki licks his lips, mouth dry, but still he keeps kissing Shiro. Lips on his collarbone, his throat.
“Taking it slow. Got so much control. You’re being so good to him, damn. Makes me wanna kiss you.”
Kaneki’s eyes track Hide’s movement upward, kissing behind Shiro’s ear. The ghoul shudders, his kakugan appearing for the briefest moment as Hide’s tongue traces the outline of his ear. The human’s next words are a cracked, pleading whine.
“Makes me wanna kiss you so fucking bad.”
He wants attention. He needs attention, but Kaneki can’t, this is about Shiro and not them, they have to take care of Shiro first—
Kaneki’s first reaction is shock when Shiro drags him back by his hair. The other ghoul’s throat works nervously for several seconds, his eyes darting over to where he must feel Hide kissing the back of his neck. Hide is becoming more vocal now, humming and murmuring curses under his breath.
“Kiss him,” Shiro says flatly. He somehow manages to look both puzzled and amused, and possibly a bit turned on. It’s hard to tell. “Nagachika may very well die if you don’t.”
“Mmmm, yeah,” Hide mumbles into Shiro’s skin. The ghoul bites his lips; Kaneki does, too. Hide turns his eyes up to meet Kaneki’s, honey brown irises disappearing under blown out pupils. “Should do something ‘bout that, Ken.”
Kaneki needs no further urging. Shiro releases his hair and shifts so he’s up against the back of the futon, watches as Hide and Kaneki practically crash together, mouths finding each other by instinct. Hide’s fingers knot in Kaneki’s hair while Kaneki grips the back of Hide’s neck with one hand and rolls a nipple between the fingers of the other. He doesn’t feel that draws quite enough of a reaction from Hide and drops his hand, curls his fingers underneath the prominent bulge in the other man’s pants and slowly drags his fingers up.
There are very, very good reasons for Kaneki liking to keep his nails longer.
Hide breaks away first, he always does, head falling back as he whines a sharp fuck. Barely seconds pass before he falls back toward Kaneki again, tongues twisting into each other’s mouths as he groans. He’s such a vocal man, Kaneki knows he couldn’t stop himself if he tried. And he loves it.
His partner breaks off again, drops his head onto Kaneki’s shoulder as his fingers dig into his back. He’s cursing, whispering filthy praises into the ghoul’s ear as he grinds down on his hand, greedy for the other man’s touch. A broken noise stumbles past his lips when Kaneki stops, pushing him back by the shoulders before pulling his head back in and fucking his tongue into his partner’s open mouth.
Hide follows his movements with borderline desperation, needing, needing to be touched, handled, pushed past the point of words and sense until there is nothing left but what they feel. Together. And Kaneki wants to lead him there, oh how he wants to take him back to that place, but—
A third hand seizes Kaneki’s hair and he is dragged away, nails scraping down Hide’s arms as they’re forced apart. Hide collapses back on the futon, his chest flushed and heaving, shaking from head to toe. He looks like he’s going to cry, hands trembling, lips forming around a silent plea of Kaneki’s name. He won’t be moving for a while; too helpless in the face of sudden denial.
But now Shiro is here, leaning his face in toward Kaneki’s. There’s an aggressive and hungry look in his gray eyes, so deeply ravenous, it seems the ghoul intends to swallow him whole with his gaze alone. Kaneki thinks to himself that he really wouldn’t mind.
“Kiss me like that,” Shiro commands, and that may have been a mistake.
Kaneki isn’t given a moment to clear his head and so he doesn’t think twice. He takes a fistful of that white, white hair, fingernails digging into the nape of Shiro’s neck, and he practically lunges for him. His lips are forceful now, hungry and seeking, and he runs his tongue across the ghoul’s lips until they open and he can thrust his tongue inside. A groan pushes up from the back of Shiro’s throat, the first Kaneki has heard, and yes, yes, it feels good.
Then the ghoul startles and pulls back sharply, a choked noise expressing his shock. Kaneki blinks dazedly at the sudden empty space between them, follows after Shiro, and then sees that the reason he’s recoiled is Hide. The human’s made a comeback, crouched low, tongue hanging from between his teeth. Kaneki knows exactly what he’s been doing. His spine, skin stretched over it, prickles with desire (envy). Now that he knows Shiro is watching, Hide leans in to sink teeth into the ghoul’s flesh, retreating when he sucks in an almost panicked breath.
“You’re—you’re not a ghoul!” Shiro stammers. Bewildered, flustered. His blunt nails are tearing through the skin at the base of Kaneki’s back, hands shaking.
“Humans are into some strange stuff,” Hide answers simply. He pulls his tongue back into his mouth, sits up. “How does it feel?”
“Disgusting,” Shiro spits.
Hide shares an alarmed look with his boyfriend before Shiro leans forward and kisses him, and Kaneki can tell from the curl of Hide’s fingers and the roll of his eyes that tongue is involved. Shiro pulls back and Hide stares at him in shock, face flushed. Shiro licks his lips, absorbing Hide’s taste, growls.
“Do not stop.”
Hide nods mutely. Shiro turns back to Kaneki, a shudder running up his body as Hide licks again, this time more boldly. The ghoul’s fingers dig into the space between Kaneki’s shoulder blades, pulling him forward.
“Keep going,” he orders, and Kaneki does.
His tongue fucks into Shiro’s mouth and he revels in the touch of the other ghoul’s hands, running down his back, pushing in temporary bruises over his hips. Shiro doesn’t seem to realize how hard he’s pressing, and Kaneki is fiercely pleased by that, pleased by this unconscious loss of control. He kisses more strongly, more insistently, pushes his body closer to Shiro’s in search of friction. He can tell from Hide’s tones that he’s hard as well, that he must be touching himself as he licks, kisses, bites up down and down Shiro’s back. The string of breathy curses are a dead giveaway. Kaneki wishes he could see.
Shiro seems to remember something from watching Kaneki and Hide just a moment before, and moves his hands from Kaneki’s back to his chest, secures a nipple between thumb and index finger and rolls it between. Kaneki stiffens but doesn’t break off their kiss, so Shiro drops his hand and grabs his covered cock instead.
Kaneki breaks off now, a stuttering gasp up his throat as his body jerks at the unexpected surge in sensation. Shiro moves closer, tightening his hold, and Kaneki chokes, scrabbles at the ghoul’s shoulders. Hide is watching with a grin, with dark, dark eyes.
Shiro grips the back of Kaneki’s neck to hold him steady, fingernails digging shallowly into the nape. He surges forward and Kaneki has his mouth open, ready, but the ghoul goes for his neck instead and sinks his teeth in where it joins with his shoulders. Kaneki gasps, shudders, fuck it hurts, but in such a good way, and god fucking damn is he aroused. He puts shaking hands on Shiro’s shoulders, anchoring himself. Shiro pulls his teeth off Kaneki’s skin, kisses the mark he leaves, moves elsewhere on the half-ghoul’s neck.
Kaneki looks down Shiro’s back to watch Hide, who is lavishing attention upon the ghoul’s skin, slick from licks and open-mouthed kisses. There are bite marks already healing. Hide’s whole face is red, even his ears, he’s struggling to breathe. The human lets his head fall against Shiro’s back as he paws at himself through his pants, somehow having kept himself from unzipping them so far. Kaneki manages to reach out to him, take his hand, silently signaling. Wait. This is just kissing. Amazing kissing. But Shiro has only agreed to that.
Hide listens, obeys Kaneki, but he still whines. He’s shaking, so badly. Kaneki lets go of his hand to put his fingers in his hair, gently stroking through it. It’s difficult to keep from fisting the golden locks, with Shiro gnawing into his neck.
“P-poor boy,” he murmurs. “It’ll be alright, shh.”
“Fuck,” Hide whimpers, pushing up into his lover’s hand. His shaking only grows worse. “Fuck, Kaneki.”
“Shhh.”
Shiro seems to realize that something has changed and he pulls away from Kaneki. His kakugan are blown out, black and red in stark contrast. Blood is on his lips. He glances over his shoulder to look down at Hide, brow creasing as he licks Kaneki’s blood off his lips.
“Are you in pain?” he asks.
Hide only whines in response. Shiro looks over at Kaneki, alarm plastered across his features, and Kaneki struggles to gather enough coherency to explain.
“He’s… aroused,” he tells Shiro, gesturing to Hide awkwardly. “Very, ah… With Hide, he gets very loud and just sounds…”
“Pained?” Shiro finishes.
“It’s very overwhelming,” Hide mutters. His shoulders hunch, eyes glaze over. Shudders. “Ahhh, ahaha, shit. Shit.”
Shiro stares at Kaneki. Again with the alarm. “Did I do this?”
“I think we… we all did,” Kaneki manages. He gestures between himself and Shiro.
“A-after all, we’ve got the same problem. We’re just. Quieter.”
Shiro is aware, obviously. He doesn’t blush and even say anything, his kakugan slowly fading as he frowns, expression carefully blank. Kaneki has no idea what he could be thinking. Hide can read it, of course.
“D-do you wanna stop?” he asks quietly. Shiro looks down at him with open concern, as if he is the one they all ought to be worrying about. “We can stop. Or keep going. Whatever you want.”
“Remember what we said,” Kaneki adds. “If you’re uncomfortable, for any reason…”
Shiro nods. It’s clear that he’s uncomfortable, but Kaneki can’t tell what he’s going to do about it. Hide doesn’t give an indication, either, just waiting. Shiro’s back nails pick at the pads of his fingers.
“I…” he says slowly. All his earlier ferocity and desire has fallen to hesitance. But Kaneki can see now, see that he’s made up his mind. “I want to stop.”
And, somehow, knowing that much is enough for each of them to relax. Both Hide and Kaneki nod, moving back to give Shiro more space. The ghoul seems relieved, but Kaneki can’t be sure.
“Okay,” Hide says, and Kaneki marvels at how soft his voice is, how utterly kind he can be when forced to stop at the very edge. “That’s okay.” He pats the ghoul’s shoulder, smiles. “A cold shower can help, by the way.”
Shiro blinks in surprise. “Then shouldn’t you be the one taking it?”
“Heh, I’ll be fine,” Hide assures him. He’s still smiling, shakily. “Got Kaneki here with me. Go take care of yourself, man.”
Shiro nods reluctantly, standing up to his feet with an unsteady sigh. Before he walks away, Hide catches him by the wrist.
“Just…” He swallows, looks up at Shiro. Serious. “Don’t feel ashamed about this, okay? There’s nothing wrong with what we just did. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stop. If you ever want to do this again, or don’t, that’s okay. We’ll be here. Right, Kaneki?”
Kaneki nods, looks up at Shiro and hopes that he understands. “Right.”
Something in Shiro’s face clears. He nods wordlessly, eyes softening, and Hides lets him go. They both watch as he walks away, going to back to shower again.
“He’ll be okay,” Hide says, calm, certain. “He’s a tough one, takes after you.” He slides a look over at his boyfriend, smiles broad enough for his eyes to crinkle up. “For some reason.”
“Oh, shut up,” Kaneki mutters.
“Make me.”
Hide turns to his lover and leans forward, kissing him once again. His fingers trace along Kaneki’s sides, trembling, but he seizes enough strength to pull Kaneki over his body before he falls, spreads his legs and begs into the ghoul’s mouth.
“Please.”
It’s amazing that Hide still asks, after all these years. Kaneki loves it. And he would never, ever deny a lover who begs him so prettily, so adoringly.
Never.