Chapter Text
Jay had been antsy all day. He’d kept an eye on the clock as he drove, typed up the reports from today, and gone over the most recent surveillance transcripts. The only time he’d been fully ‘on’ was when they were actively pursuing the offender they’d gotten a lead on, and had been glad when he was in their custody, and could go back to focusing on what was at the forefront of his mind—Hailey’s flight in to Midway. He’d been covertly tracking her flight, anxious for her to be back in Chicago again. The FBI had sent an official invitation to speak to them about a job offer and had flown her to New York. She’d texted from the cab afterward to say it went fine and she’d talk to him about it later.
He was leaning back in the chair at his desk, arms stretching above him, when Kevin spoke.
“She land yet?”
“What?” He’d been caught off guard and was confused at both the question and how closely it spoke to his exact thoughts. He could lie, he knew, play if off, but why bother. “Yeah, about 5 minutes ago.”
“That explains it.” Adam spun around in his own chair and leaned back to see Jay. He continued at Jay’s questioning look. “This is the most relaxed you’ve looked in days, man. Not that you look that relaxed but—“
“Shut up, Ruze. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His hands were back at his keyboard. Hopefully getting back to work, with purpose, would put an end to this topic of conversation.
But it didn’t.
“She give you any details about the meeting? How it went?”
His fingers continued to fly over the keys and his eyes stayed on the screen. “No.” He tried to keep his tone even but it came out tense. Like he felt.
“No way Hailey’s gonna go work for the feds,” Kevin spoke up. “That girl is Chicago through and through.”
“Not to be the lone voice of reason here,” Kim interrupted from her desk. “But if the offer’s good she’s gotta consider it. I know I would.”
“You would?” Adam sat upright in his chair and turned to her.
“Hell yeah. You wouldn’t?”
“No way,” he shook his head. “I was born here, my family’s here--- this unit is where I belong. This is home.”
Kim cocked an eyebrow in his direction. “Well, not everyone has such solid roots.” They all knew a degree of Hailey’s past just like they all knew it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that it might not be as difficult for her to leave it all behind.
Jay’s attempt to tune them out was interrupted by the flash of his phone screen. His lips quirked a bit as he grabbed it and his mug, and headed for the break room.
Once there he poured a new cup of coffee and sat with it at the small table, calling up the latest message on his phone--the one from Hailey. She’d landed and wanted to know if he was free later. Jay rubbed at his face, thinking through his response before typing it out. He was already breathing easier knowing she was back…but now came the follow up, the part where she told him what her decision was. And that was something he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.
He knew what he wanted for himself, but this wasn’t about him. Selfishly he wanted it to be, wanted to be able to tell her he hoped she’d chosen to stay, chosen Chicago, and their unit…and him. But with a deep breath he just typed out, sure. when and where
A few hours later he walked in out of the cold, and found her at the table just past the window. The bar that they were meeting at was their alternate when they wanted to talk or drink in anonymity, without their friends or colleagues drifting in and out. This bar wasn’t blue.
He hoped it wasn’t some kind of signal.
“Hey,” he smiled at her, somewhat guarded, ready for his world to change.
“Hey.” The smile she returned was neither. It was pure, and he felt small for not showing her just how genuinely happy he was to see her. It had only been 3 days but it had felt…longer. He was already not handling this meeting well.
He figured he’d start with the basics then go from there. “How was your flight?”
“Fine. Got you a bourbon.” She fingered the lip of her glass and motioned to the other one on the table. “How was work?” She looked up at him from under her lashes.
He just looked at her, staying silent. Evidently two could play this game and he sighed. Might as well get right to it. “Thanks.” Then. “What did the FBI offer you?”
“Joint level task force.”
Was she just smiling or was that what people called ‘beaming’? Jay wasn’t sure but she certainly looked happy. He tried to keep his demeanor even but knew he was failing. Horribly. He really wanted to be happy for her, knew he should be…but he couldn’t quite get there. He was getting in his own way, the last thing he wanted to do was get in hers. With a quick grimace, he pushed his glass away and stood, ready to rip off the band-aid, and call it an early night. Lie about being tired or some other bs. He was digging a hole for himself and he wanted to leave before it was too deep. He’d been here less than five minutes.
But Hailey was Hailey and she pushed.
“You know, you could tell me you don’t want me to take it.”
“Is that what you’d tell me?” He shot back with a small, wistful smile.
“I’d like to think I’d tell you the truth,” she replied emphatically, one eyebrow up and nodding slightly like he should know.
“You want to know if I want to lose the best partner I’ve ever had? Doesn’t take a genius to figure out that answer, Hailey.” He raised his eyebrows, trying hard to keep his tone even and his body language mild.
“So much for being honest,” she quipped lightly. He’d gone with the easy answer instead of an honest one and she was irritated.
“You want honest?” It came out with a chuckle but the tension was higher now and he rubbed a hand over his jaw. “How bout we backtrack a bit, back to when I was in the hospital. There was something you were going to say then but didn’t. Seemed pretty important.”
“Jay.” It was nearly a warning. Don’t go there.
He matched her tone perfectly. “Hailey.”
She shook her head a bit, her ponytail falling off of her shoulder. “That was months ago. I don’t even remem—“
“I don’t believe that.” The look he gave her was intense and one that he used when he thought a suspect was lying to him. He watched her look away from it, knew he was pushing harder than usual but they were so close to the edge of whatever they were dancing around. Had been for a while now. He couldn’t bring himself to be the one to jump but he could push.
Hailey took in a breath. Somehow they’d gotten off of one topic and onto a more dangerous one. The situation had flipped on her. Hard.
She purposely avoided eye contact with Jay and pursed her lips. This wasn’t the conversation she was prepared to have tonight. Maybe in a very roundabout way it was but she was hoping for straightforward. Hailey reached for her jacket and pulled an arm through. “For what it’s worth,” She had the jacket on and pulled her hair out from the back. She stood up and looked him in the eye, her lips flattened. “I didn’t take the job.”
She tapped her fingers lightly on the table. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She threw a barely-there flash of a smile and headed out the door.