Archive of Our Own

Daenerys sighed, moving her phone around in the air until the faces on it started moving again. It only took standing on top of the picnic table, stretching her arm out, and chanting for the call to reconnect. 

“There you are.” She could see people moving around in the background and Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling. “I should really let you go. It seems like your party is full swing.”

“It is and you should be here! You’re missing out.” 

Daenerys was nearly certain that she hadn’t been invited. She smiled anyway.

“I know but it’s great to be home. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“You look so happy. Promise you won’t stay?”

It must have been fate that ended the call with a lost signal tone. Daenerys sighed and lowered her phone. It was stressful trying to keep up friendships with people that she would have hated under normal circumstances. As much as Daenerys loved Los Angeles, she couldn’t reconcile the beauty of a beach city with the ugliness that existed in the people that live there. She ignored it all to maintain connections with people that had connections with people that could help build her portfolio. She had a few recurring roles on television shows and a single movie behind her, but it didn’t feel like enough to call herself successful. That’s why she was at home sulking. She needed something to motivate her. Nothing made her work harder than seeing how far she would’ve gotten in the small town where she grew up.

Daenerys turned at the sound of a car pulling up behind her. She was startled by the presence of another person. She purposefully chose to hide somewhere where no one would find her. She watched cautiously as the black pick up turned around to back into the docking bay of the building behind her. Her jaw dropped when the driver jumped out.

“What the hell are you doing back here?” The man zipped his coat as he came closer and shoved both hands in his pockets. 

“Jon Snow as I live and breathe.” Daenerys jumped down from the table and met him halfway. “What the hell are you doing back here?”

He frowned and shook his head. “I asked first...and I actually live in this city, so I’m the one that gets to ask the question.”

“What are you? A cop?”

“You were standing on an old, rotten picnic table behind a shopping mall. That’s a little suspicious. That’s not including the fact that you live across the country and it’s freezing out here.”

He gestured to the fresh snow that covered the ground from the night before. It further proved her point that she shouldn’t have been disturbed where she was. The only fresh prints in the snow came from the two of them.

“Can’t a girl come home for the holiday and hide behind the mall like she used to as a teenager?”

“A girl could.” He grinned. 

“Anyway, what are you doing behind the mall? I thought no one would come back here.”

“Pet store.” He nodded to his truck. “I pick up a couple bags of food a week so I have a deal with the manager. I pull up here and they load it straight into my truck.”

She nodded but couldn’t keep her eyes from wandering. This wasn’t the greenboy that she’d left behind a few years ago. She could tell that he’d bulked up. His hair was longer, the raven curls bound tightly at the nape of his neck had previously only curled around his ears. The stubble that he sported was a pleasant surprise, as well, and damn if the look in his eyes didn’t pull her right into him. They stood in silence for a moment before Jon looked behind him.

“I should probably let them know I’m here.”

“Yeah...of course.”

The both nodded awkwardly as he turned to walk back to the mall. There was a small metal door that warned against loitering that Jon marched to, banging hard enough that it echoed on the concrete surrounding them. Daenerys watched him peek at her as he waited for the door to open. She was unsure if she should go back to her table for one or head back to her car. She was dreading the lengthy walk to get to it. It would be dark soon and at some point, her fingers would simply fall off. It had been twenty minutes since she could move them without pain or feel something when she touched it. The phone in her hand felt like it would fall to the ground at any moment. She only knew that she was still holding it because she could see it.

She made her way back to the table and sat on the edge, watching as Jon stepped into a storage area with a balding man in a red shirt. The loading dock door inched open to reveal ten enormous sacks that were likely to weigh as much as she did. Jon fished a beanie out of his pocket and tossed it on his head, pulling it securely over his ears. It wasn’t lost on Daenerys that he watched her while he did. Then, he leaned over to throw a sack on each shoulder, walking it to the bed of his truck and throwing it in. He opened the tailgate to allow the two men to easily slide in the third sack that they carried together. 

If the cold hadn’t dried out her mouth, she was sure she would have salivated at the way he easily moved seven bags to their three. Jon gave them each a pat on the back, waved, and smiled as they returned to the store before turning to close his tailgate. He stalled for a moment, as if remembering that she stood watching, and then turned his eye to her. He closed his eyes and sighed, his hot breath rising in the air as condensation. He gave his beanie another pull and then walked to the front of his car. 

“Are you going to stay out here?”

Daenerys shrugged. “I don’t actually have any plans.”

“Well...it’s going to get dark soon...and it’s below freezing right now.”

She simply nodded, opening her arms wide and looking around. “Yeah.” She said, letting her arms hit her sides.

He seemed to be thinking, tilting his head back and forth before taking a step forward.

“You want to go for a ride?”

“With you?” Daenerys tilted her head.

“No, I was going to call you an Uber. Yes, with me. Who else?”

“Just making sure.” She mumbled and held up her hands in defense.

“Come on, then.” He jumped into the cab and shut the door, rubbing his hands together at the steering wheel. 

There was plenty of time to question why she was getting in this truck with him and whether it was a good decision. The thought of being in the presence of someone she could tolerate was much greater, though.

Daenerys climbed into the truck and pushed her phone into her pocket to rub her hands in front of the heater like he did. It was quiet in the cab aside from the commercials that played on the radio. The prospect of being warm seemed to be the primary concern for both of them. Eventually, Jon pressed his fingers to his face and then let his hands find the gearshift and steering wheel to pull out of the docking bay. 

The truck couldn’t weave through the crowded parking lot so they sat in silence as Jon forced his way through the stop-and-go traffic. It wasn’t until the old pick up was coasting along the smooth asphalt of the black top road that she turned to him. 

“What are we doing? Where are we going?”

“I thought we could just ride around. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” She gave him a small smile. “That’s fine.”

“So,” He started, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “How long have you been in town?”

“I got in this morning. I promised my mom that I was all hers for Christmas so I’m here for the weekend. I’m staying at my parents’ house.”

“And you were hiding behind the mall because it’s technically Thursday and Christmas is on Sunday?” His eyes were on the road, scanning the pavement for patches of ice as he drove slowly through the farmland outside of town. “You know, all of our eateries didn’t shut down while you were gone.”

“Yes, smartass, I know. But...I wanted to be alone.”

He peeked at her from the canopy of his long eyelashes before turning back to the road. He turned the truck around, pulling into a hidden driveway that ran straight into the middle of an empty field. There was an old house not far from where they were sitting. The abandoned building sat eerily in the background as they rolled to a stop. A purple hue stretched across the sky in front of them and melted into a deep blue behind them. Daenerys felt herself smiling as she watched the deer roam across the snow covered fields. They sat together in silence, watching as the deer meandered around the crossing adn grazed on leftover seeds. 

Two Christmas classics played before Jon started shifting in his seat. He turned the radio down and adjusted the heat before he turned to look at her. His entire body shifted in her direction.

“You never told me why you were hiding behind the mall. You couldn’t be alone inside of a heated establishment?”

Daenerys fiddled with the rings on her fingers and pushed her hair behind her ears to have something to do with her hands.

“I wasn’t really alone…” She trailed off, hoping that he would put the pieces together but he furrowed his eyebrows instead. She sighed heavily before turning in her seat to face him. “I’m somebody here. In L.A., I’m just another blonde girl trying to act. Here...these people know me. They think it’s cool that they’ve seen me on their television even though we went to the same school. I was in Randy’s for three minutes before people started coming up to my table. It freaked me out a little bit.”

Jon scoffed. “That’s what you wanted, Dany. Your great escape was all about how you were too special to spend your life here unacknowledged. That’s why you ran out of here like your ass was on fire. Congratulations. They know you’re special now.” 

Daenerys bit at the inside of her lip and turned to her foggy window.

“I’m sorry.” He added, pulling his beanie off and running his hands over his face. “That was uncalled for but...everyone here is proud of you, Dany. Sansa buys every single magazine that has your face on it. The high school opened up the auditorium for a watch party when you were a guest star on Grey’s Anatomy.” He paused, his eyes rolling to the top of his head as if he were physically searching for a memory. “Not to mention when you were in that Marvel movie. The marquee in front of the theater said “Spiderman: featuring our Daenerys Targaryen” for an entire year. I know you and I thought you’d never come back. Imagine how exciting it is for them to think that you care enough about this place to visit.”

Daenerys looked at him and nodded, dragging her finger through the fog on her window. It did help to know that her old community thought she was a successful actress and wanted to support her. However, it was exactly why she struggled with cognitive dissonance. People that she felt would hold her back, were actively supporting her and held her in high regard. Meanwhile, the people in her own industry wrote flowery posts and cajoled her at parties, but saw her career as infantile and linked that to their opinions about her. She traced enough circles on her window that a few of the migrating deer came back into focus. She turned to face him again.

“Do you want me to say sorry?” She tilted her head, her eye squinting in annoyance. 

“I don’t want an apology, Dany. You wouldn’t mean it anyway.” He exhaled. “It was always okay with me.”

Jon’s stomach spoke before she could, grumbling and complaining loudly.

“You want to grab something to eat?” She asked, gladly changing the subject.

“I don’t know if I can handle being seen with a superstar like you.” He bumped her shoulder and grinned. “Would you mind coming to my place? I can order pizza.”

“Can I choose the pizza?”

Jon rolled his eyes but nodded as he turned the truck around. “I’d rather just order two and have some for tomorrow.”

The snow underneath the truck had melted while they were parked and splashed mud on to the sides of the truck as they spun around. She squealed at the quick movement and reached for the windowsill.

“What is wrong with you?” She shouted, punching his shoulder as he hit the gas pedal. “If you’re not more careful, you’re going to be cleaning mud off of these tires until spring.”

“Remember when we skipped prom to piss off your mom and went off roading on the north side?” He laughed as he spoke, speeding up and slamming the breaks expertly to push the snow up, causing it to splash as high as the fog covered windshield. 

“Yes, and do you remember what a mess it was trying to clean up everything before you got home? There wasn’t a single thing that wasn’t covered in mud.”

His grin turned mischievous at the memory but then he turned and gave her a full on smile. The crooked tooth in the front greeting her for the first time in years. He turned his attention back to the road and reached for the center console. The radio was a nice filler that Daenerys was grateful for. She was taken aback by the sudden ache in her chest. How had she not realized that she’d missed that smile?

“It just dawned on me that you’ve never seen my house.” He was yelling over the music but Daenerys liked the way it made her feel sixteen again. When he would show up at her house and they would drive into the middle of nowhere, music blasting, just to be alone together.

“It just dawned on me that when you said ‘your place’ you didn’t mean the Stark headquarters.”

She could see him laughing better than she could hear it. More than that, she could feel it. The pure happiness that was radiating off of him like beams of light and washing over her like sunshine.

“Touché.” He shouted and pointed at something far off in front of them. They were heading back to town and she was curious to see where he’d chosen to lay roots. “I’m not far. We’ll be there in ten.”

She didn’t respond. Unconsciously, her body relaxed into this routine that had been perfected years before she knew that she could love a man the way she had loved Jon Snow. Her head went limp against the window pane and her left arm stretched out, offering her hand to him. Jon was just bold enough to take it, but by the time her eyes fluttered open in the driveway of his house, he’d already removed it.

Daenerys looked around slowly, shifting uncomfortably at the building heat underneath her heavy coat.

“You fell asleep.” Her gaze fell on Jon as he spoke and she watched him with sluggish, owl-like eyes.  “I ordered pizza when we pulled in. I figured it was better to wake up to pizza than to wake up hungry and still have to wait.”

Daenerys didn’t have the energy to do anything aside from nod. She sat up straighter in her seat and unbuckled her seatbelt to take in her surroundings.

“Where are we?” She asked, her voice deep and scratchy.

He looked around as if he didn’t exactly know. Then, he leaned forward and pointed to the left, drawing her attention to the end of the street. 

“Tupelo High is at the next corner.”

“No way. You moved next to the school? Jon, this area is for old people that can’t sell their homes anymore. Do you not remember the noise on Fridays?”

He shrugged bashfully. 

“I’m well acquainted with it at this point.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shit on your house. It’s great that you bought something. I’ll need a couple more Marvel checks before I can even afford a closet in LA.”

“When you put it like that...it does sound like you got the raw end of the deal.” Jon snickered and bent his neck to peek at his house through the windshield. “You’re right, though. That was a concern but...I figured, I could buy young and spend my twenties fixing it up the way I want it. When everyone is trying to do that shit at 30 to prepare for kids or whatever, I’ll already be done. The old couple that lived here were having mobility issues and wanted something without stairs so they were trying to get out of here as fast as possible. They weren’t asking for much so I jumped on it.”

“Good ole responsible Jon.”

His face went blank before he opened his car door. “You’re an asshole.” He said before getting out. 

She could see the smile on his face as he closed the door, so she followed him out without apology. He walked to her side of the car and grabbed her arm, carefully guiding her through icy patches to his front door. Before he could get his key out, a car was pulling into the driveway behind them. 

Daenerys groaned when she recognized the driver and immediately reached into her pockets for her wallet. She wanted to pay and get him out of there as fast as possible.

“Is that Daenerys?” He choked, sliding down the driveway with two pizzas in hand. “What’s Miss. Hollywood doing back here in Small Town, U.S.A.?”

“Hi, Theon.” She gave him a small wave and smile. “How much do we owe you?”

“$14.32...but I’m sure Jon’s not gonna let his lady pay. No matter how rich she is.” He looked at Jon with a leer on his face as Daenerys opened her wallet to hand Theon a $20 bill. “Are you two still rolling around? I thought that ended years ago.”

Jon stepped into Theon’s right side and grabbed the pizza roughly. It was clear from how close he was that he wanted to do a lot more than grab the food. 

“Jon and I have always been friends.” Daenerys added quickly, grabbing Jon’s arm and pulling him to her. She used her other hand to push the money into Theon’s open hand. “You can keep the change. You deserve a nice tip for working in this weather.” 

Jon looked at her with disbelief twinkling in his eyes. He hastily handed her the pizza and fished the keys from his pocket. He pushed them into the lock, then turned to Theon with his hand on the door knob.

“I would go back to the car if I were you. Ghost doesn’t like strangers.” 

Theon raised his eyebrows, his eyes jumping in their sockets, and then slid his way back to the car. Before sinking into the driver's seat, he held onto the door and waved to Daenerys. 

“Hey, Dany, if you ever want to hang with a few more...friends...you know where to find me.”

Jon turned the key loudly in the lock before he could finish, so that Daenerys heard the end of his sentence being shouted out of the window. Jon unlocked the door but didn’t open it until the car was completely out of the driveway. When he pushed it open, a large white dog was sitting on the other side waving his tail so hard that his entire body shook with the movement.

Jon held up a hand and the dog immediately shimmied a few meters back, giving them space to enter the foyer. Jon gestured her into the house and then closed and locked the door behind her. 

“Dany, Ghost. Ghost, Dany.”

“Jon, that’s not a dog. He’s the size of a small horse.” The sound he made could only be described as a giggle. “If I walk past him with this pizza, will he try to kill me?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve introduced you so he knows that you’re his friend.” He had a wide, sarcastic smile on his face. “I’m going to let him out. The kitchen is to the left.”

He gave the dog a firm command and walked to the back of the house with him. Daenerys kicked off her shoes and took the opportunity to look around without him watching her. He hadn’t decorated but the furniture was nice and she could tell that he hadn’t chosen it alone. She sat the pizza on a small table that sat underneath large bay windows and went searching through the cabinets for plates and cups. As soon as she found the plates, Jon cleared his throat behind her, causing her to nearly drop them.

“Are you looking for where I’ve hidden my money?”

“Ha ha.” She mouthed sarcastically, carrying the plates to the table. “It looks like I was successful. Why do you have crystal plates?”

“The old people that lived here left a bunch of stuff that wouldn’t fit in their new place. That’s why the furniture is so nice.” He tilted his head and gave her a saucy grin. “I’m sure you looked.”

“I did.” She shrugged and began to shed all of her winter layers. She threw her coat and scarf on an empty chair and settled herself at the table.

“Comfortable?” He asked with a shake of his head. 

She knew he was joking and didn’t answer. It did make her smile, though. It had been five years since she packed her bags and left him behind. That first year that she’d spent wallowing would have never let her imagine that she could ever feel this comfortable with him again. He rummaged through the fridge and grumbled.

“I have exactly one beer, which I will not offer you because I want it.” She could hardly choke out an ‘okay’ through her laughter. “I do have two bottles of wine that I will never drink because it was a gift from someone I don’t like.”

“You want to give me wine from someone that tried to poison you?”

“I said I didn’t like them, not that they didn’t like me. But yes, I’m offering you maybe poisonous wine, maybe expired orange juice, or definitely ordinary water.”

“I’ll take the wine, please.” Daenerys answered with an eye roll.

He fixed both bottles of wine and his beer between three fingers and used the other hand to grab glasses. By the time he sat across from her and poured their drinks, she was already lost in a daydream about what it would be like to do this with him everyday. Isn’t that what she dreamed as a girl? To sit with this man and simply soak up his presence?

He got her attention by tipping his glass towards her. “To Daenerys Targaryen. For having dreams and achieving them.”

“I’m not toasting to that. It’s a touchy subject for me.” She held her glass close to her chest in protest. “Toast to something else.”

He rolled his head back and groaned loudly. Then, he turned his gaze back to her and stared for a moment.

“To the present. I’m glad to be living in it.”

Daenerys pursed her lips to keep from smiling. She knew it didn’t work when he returned her smile with a bright one of his own.

“To the present.” She agreed and lightly touched her glass to his.

They watched each other as they took a sip and sat their glasses down together.

“Pizza?” He asked, reaching for the boxes and divvying it up. 

They ate their first slice in silence and by the time Jon was ready to break the silence, Daenerys was on her second glass of wine.

“Can I ask a question about your touchy subject?” He murmured and took a sip of his beer.

She shoved another bite of pizza into her mouth and nodded to keep from having to speak.

“Do you think you’ve achieved what you wanted to in L.A.? Are you happy there?”

She swallowed her pizza and finished off her second glass of wine, immediately reaching for the bottle to ready herself for a third.

“Those questions have very different answers.” She didn’t elaborate.

“Too touchy or are you going to answer?”

She tilted her head back and forth. She didn’t know what good could come from being vulnerable with Jon. The realization that she didn’t have anyone else that would even care to ask, spurred her more than the actual desire to share.

“Not too touchy. I am happy there.” She paused, reaching for a third slice of pizza. Instead of eating it, she left it on her plate uneaten. She sighed before she continued. “But I force myself to separate my happiness from my career goals. Otherwise, I probably would have already nose dived off of some skyscraper.”

“Why? From my perspective, you’re doing pretty well. I’ve never known someone that I see more on my television than in real life.”

She smiled softly at him.

“Yeah...I think if you had said that yesterday, I wouldn’t have agreed. It’s hard to feel like I’ve achieved anything or like I have any type of success when everyone that I meet has double the credits and triple the experience. The confidence that I had growing up here, hell the arrogance that I had here, just disappeared when I moved to California. I don’t feel special anymore. Sometimes I don’t even feel talented. I’m just another fish in the pond.” She finally took a bit of her pizza and went in for a large gulp of wine. “But I have things that make me happy so I try to keep that in perspective. My roommate, Missandei, is an angel sent from heaven just for me. If nothing else makes me happy, going home to the sister I’ve always wanted, does.”

Jon polished off his fourth slice of pizza and poured wine into his beer glass.

“I hate that you think that.” He whispered, gulping the wine until he’d emptied it. “You are special. You are talented. Being in a bigger pool with other talented people doesn’t take that away. What was the point of you taking such a risk? Of you leaving m-”

He stopped himself before he finished, but sometimes she asked herself the same question. What was the point of leaving the warmest bed she’d ever known to climb into an empty one if she wasn’t reaching the goals she’d set?

“Why put yourself through that and not even celebrate your wins? And let me tell you, babe, you’re winning.”

“Babe?” Daenerys raised her eyebrows but she couldn’t control the rest of her expression. She knew there was a smirk on her face but she had no way to suppress it.

Jon sheepishly scratched at his neck, jerking his head to the side.

“Sorry. You know what they say about old habits.”

Daenerys was thankful to redirect the attention to something else. He could’ve called her anything at that moment.

“It’s okay...you can call me ‘babe’ for the weekend.” She winked and was surprised when it drew a full belly laugh out of him.

He didn’t reply but instead, stood from the table. 

“I gotta go get Ghost. He won’t want to come in from the snow so it might take me a minute. Do you mind throwing this stuff in the dishwasher?”

“Go ahead. I got it.” She gestured to the door with her eyes and waited until he was in the hall before she stood.

By the time he returned, snow dripping from his hair, Daenerys had cleaned the kitchen and finished off the second bottle of wine. Jon found her leaning against the counter with her phone in hand and settled in right next to her. She tilted the phone in his direction to show him the gif that had just come through.

“I texted Vis to let him know that I’d be out late and he should cover for me. That was his response.”

Jon snickered watching the gif of a woman in pigtails get hit in the face with hotdogs over and over again. Daenerys turned off the screen and sat her phone on the counter. She looked at Jon through the corner of her eye but didn’t turn to face him.

“So, where’s your dog?”

“He’s snoring on the living room couch. Catching rabbits is hard work.” He folded his arms and turned to look at her, resting his left hip on the counter. “What did you do the last twenty minutes?”

“If you’re asking that, you don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do.” She answered with a smile.

“Okay...so, what do you think?”

“I just looked around. I didn’t go in anything.”

“You didn’t have enough time to go in anything.” Jon corrected.”

Daenerys conceded with an eye roll. “Fine. I didn’t have enough time, but I did appreciate the lack of Christmas decorations. This holiday lingers like a bad perfume. It makes me sick.”

“You only feel that way because your mother loves it.”

“Thank you, Dr. Snow. I’m so glad I chose you as my therapist.”

He pushed her shoulder as they both broke into laughter.

“Don’t be mad because it’s true.” He added and then winced. “Also...you didn’t snoop enough. My bedroom is where I put up all of the Christmas decorations.”

“Oh, Jon, no!” She groaned loudly, letting her head fall forward. It wasn’t until then that he noticed the second empty wine bottle. If she were sober, her head wouldn’t have been heavy enough to throw off her balance. “Do you have a tree?” She asked, incredulously.

He gave her a half-hearted apology in lieu of answering. “Sorry, you can run but only so far.”

She pouted but finally turned to face him. 

“I wanna see.” She demanded, with folded arms.

Even through the haze of tipsiness, Daenerys could tell that the smile he was giving her was soft and gooey and sentimental. She followed him to his bedroom, anyway.

“Here it is.” He flung the door open and hit the light switch.

The tree was connected to one of the main switches. She gasped as it lit up the room. It was a massive tree that took up an entire section of the master suite. No branch was bare of decorations and the lights were bright enough to illuminate every corner of the room. 

“Okay...I’m impressed.” Daenerys confessed, walking further into the room. She turned to look at him over her shoulder. “You have a big boy room.”

Jon flipped her off with an eye roll. He knew she was referring to the bedroom of his teen years. They spent years exploring each other under the eye of childish posters and little league trophies.

“I started the renovations in here. I wanted to make sure that at the very least, my bedroom was nice.” He looked up as if he could see through the ceiling. “Now, the construction zone is upstairs. I think I’ll be done with it in a year or two, but I didn’t want to come home to the chaos everyday. So, I’m working top to bottom. This is the only room that finished at this point.”

She walked around the room to look at the molding and paintings and the photo of Ghost that he kept near the window. Then, she walked straight to his bed and settled herself in the middle with her back pressed up against the headboard.

“It’s really nice, Jon.”

He brought his hand to his hair and pushed back at nothing, seemingly forgetting that his hair was tied back.

“It’s nice that you’re here. It’s like a weird simulation...seeing you on my bed. This mature version of you.” His eyes flickered down and back to her face. 

“You noticed, didn’t you?” She had too much alcohol to ignore it and guffawed. 

“Noticed wha- wait...you got work done?” Jon raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

“Very L.A. of me, huh?” She was beaming, wiggling her shoulders to show off.

“Daenerys Targaryen. Tell me you didn’t touch your face.”

“No, of course not!” She yelled, offended. “But I did go from a training bra to a nice full B cup. Enough to fit in your hand but not big enough to suggest that I had work done. They look good, right? Like I went through puberty late.”

Jon pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, if only to give his eyes a small reprieve from watching her bounce her breasts in her hands. 

“You can tell they’re fake when you touch them, though. Everyone says so.” For a moment, Daenerys forgot that she was talking to a man that knew her body intimately. She moved to her knees and held out her hand. “Come here. Look.”

As soon as Jon was close enough, she grabbed his hand and pulled him closer. His hand slid up the smooth expanse of her warm skin and came to a stop at her chest. He hoped that his eyes didn’t give away the fact that he was mentally screaming. Not even because he was touching her but how he was touching her. She had pushed his hand underneath her sweater to allow him to grab at her and the weight of her boob in his hand, coupled with her hot skin, was driving him mad.

“You can tell it’s fake, right?”

“Dany…” He shook his head, breathing hard, his features squinting together.

“You have to grope it a little bit.” She caressed his hand to help him, staring into his eyes the entire time. 

“Daenerys...I’m gonna be honest with you.” He swallowed hard, forcing his eyes from chest to her face. “I can’t concentrate on whether it feels different because I’m a man and right now, all I know is that I have my hand under your sweater.” 

He swiped his thumb over her nipple as he spoke. When she gasped and arched her back, he pulled away.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He took a step back from the spot on the bed where he’d been kneeling.

“Maybe I’m the one that should be apologizing...since I got in your bed and made you fondle me.”

“It’s definitely mostly your fault. But still...I owe you one.”

Daenerys hummed, reaching for his hand to pull him into her. She sat up on her knees and inched close enough that he could feel the warmth of her breath fan across his face.

“Hi.” She murmured, the smell of wine filled the space between them.

“Hi…” Jon raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t have time to say anything else. 

She had already moved in to press her lips against his and force her tongue into his mouth. It was pure instinct that made him snake his arm around her waist to pull her closer. Then she pulled back from him with a grin on her face.

“I think now we can call it even.” 

Jon’s mind was hazy. He could do nothing but stare at her as she reveled in the elation of surprising him.

“Dany…”

“Don’t overthink it. Just kiss me.”

And he did. There was no hesitation when he pushed her back into the bed and unbuttoned her jeans. Daenerys had no qualms about pulling his hair tie out and running her hands through his soft curls. There was no reluctance as they undressed each other slowly. Their hands roamed wildly, unable to settle on one spot. And when Jon slipped between her legs, Daenerys finally felt like she was home. 

It wasn’t until the sheets were wet and her skin was raw in the places where he’d sucked and nibbled, that Daenerys pulled away.

“I can’t. It’s too much. I can’t.”

Jon growled and pulled her back to him, kissing at her neck. The way she giggled his name made him never want to stop. He couldn’t stop touching her. He loved the way she laughed. The way her skin looked under the glow of the Christmas tree lights. He would’ve given anything to photograph her in that moment.

“Should I wake you in the morning? I have to walk Ghost around 6 or he’ll raise hell in here.” Jon pulled Daenerys into his side and kissed her head. 

“Don’t go.” She moaned. “Let’s sleep in until twelve and then eat cold pizza.”

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm and tucked her further into his body.

“I wish I could but I have to or he’ll be unbearable. I’ll be so quick you won’t know I’m gone.” Jon used his right hand to lift her chin. “If I could, I’d stay in bed with you until two in the afternoon like when we were teenagers.”

Daenerys hummed in his chest, kissing the skin that she could reach.

“Grown up, responsible Jon is no fun.” Daenerys smiled at the feel of his chest vibrating from laughter.

“Are you sleepy?” He asked, completely energized from the simple fact that he was holding her.

“Mhm.” She hummed, turning away from him to secure her position as the little spoon. “I’m so tired, Jon. I’m so, so tired.”

“You’re not sleeping well?”

Daenerys shook her head against his forearm as he wrapped himself around her.

“It’s the anxiety.”

“What makes you anxious?”

“My career. The people that I call my friends that probably call the paparazzi so we can be seen together.” She stilled in his arms and he couldn’t even feel the small puffs of her breath tickling the hair on his arms. “You.” She finally whispered.

“Me?”

“It always comes back to you.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. Daenerys started shifting in his arms and he worried that she might want to leave after her admission. 

“Jon?” He hummed his response. “I don’t want to feel like that here...with you.”

“Then don’t. There’s nothing to worry about when you’re with me. I promise.”

Daenerys was silent and her breath was coming in measured intervals. Jon was ready to slip into his dreams when she whispered to him in a syrupy, deep voice. 

“I’m always so warm with you.”

It was something she often said when they were younger. She hated the cold and complained all winter that her house never got warm enough. She swore that he must be her perfect thermostat. He warmed her in a way that even a hot summer day couldn’t. If he’d had the energy, he might have begged her to stay right then and there.

“Sleep, angel. You’re safe here. Just rest.”

It wasn’t too long after that he let himself rest as well.

Like he promised her, Jon crept out early in the morning to walk and feed Ghost. He took some time to check what he had available to eat and unloaded all of the dog food while he was at it. Then, he brushed his teeth and wiped down his sweaty skin and crawled back into bed like he’d been there the whole time. She was deep asleep but he knew she hadn’t been that way all morning. The lights from the tree had been turned off and the sink was wet from a new toothbrush. He wasn’t the least bit tired now that he had time to watch her and catalogue every single sign of growth and aging. He slept in little bouts but mostly he watched her, and when she finally began to shift and awaken, he was there with curls falling in his face and his eyes soft and trained on her.

“Good morning.” He greeted, kissing her forehead.

She moaned, stretched, and yawned into her hand before giving him her attention.

“G’morning.” She mumbled, curling up to him and burying her face in his chest. “I stole a toothbrush from your bathroom. Is that okay?”

“Mhm.” Jon answered while holding back a smile. He always loved how deep her voice was after sleep. “What do you want to do today? We can hang out here or we can go find some of the old group and see if they’re up to something.”

Daenerys shook her head emphatically. His words woke her up instantly.

“Ugh. No, thank you.”

“What? You’re too fancy to hang out with us now? That smelly guy from Twilight is your cup of tea now?” Jon teased.

“No, I just don’t want to be involved in any outdoor activity, which they’re sure to be doing.” She paused, thinking about what he’d just said. “And...Robert Pattinson does not smell.”

“Whatever you say.” Daenerys swatted his chest instead of retorting. “I just can’t believe you’d sleep with a man like that.”

“A man like what?” She asked, incredulously.

“Like him. Rich and famous but incredibly weird.” Jon shrugged, meeting her eyes. “I just didn’t think that was your type.”

“Wow. Okay, Mr. Judgmental. I know for a fact that there are only ten photos of us together and you got all of that from a few pictures.”

His smile fell, Daenerys thought about apologizing but his eyes were far off as if he were remembering something.

“So, I feel like I should tell you that Ygritte and I were a thing. We were a thing for a long while. Nearly a year.” Jon disclosed, not looking away from her.

Daenerys was on her side and Jon was on his back. From this position she could see every change in his expression but he couldn’t see hers. She was grateful for that. She didn’t need him to know that he’d caught her off guard.

“Why are you telling me this?” Daenerys asked, reaching up to stroke his face.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled with a shrug. “I just felt like you should know. It’s not like you can go to the grocery store and see my dates on the front of a magazine or Google where I’ve been. I wouldn’t want you to think I was keeping anything from you.”

“If I wanted to know who you were hanging with when I was gone I would’ve asked you.”

“Okay.” Jon turned his face to the ceiling and pursed his lips as he gave a sharp nod.

“But in the vein of transparency, I did not, unfortunately, sleep with Robert Pattinson.” She paused, waiting for him to say something. “Even though I think Twilight is amazing and I totally would have if he were single.”

Jon gagged and rolled onto his side to face her.

“Daenerys, please want better for yourself.” Her giggles made him smile. “Even if you had, it’s all the same to me. Who you’ve been with...it doesn’t matter.”

“That’s all I’m saying.” Daenerys propped her head up on her hand. “If it’s the same to you, it’s the same to me. That’s why I didn’t ask. However, since we’re on the subject, Ygritte is repugnant, Jon, and I want you to want better for yourself .”

“Everybody can’t fuck movie stars.”

“True.” She added with a cheeky smile.

“Tell me about your friends. You mentioned your roommate last night but I’m sure there are others. You’ve always had people gravitate towards you.”

Daenerys smiled without blinking. “Yeah. I have a lot of great friends.”

Jon didn’t say anything. He simply watched her until her smile dropped.

“Don’t lie to me. You can tell me you don’t want to talk about it but I’d really prefer it if you didn’t put on that fake smile and lie to my face like I won’t know better.”

Daenerys sighed and rolled onto her back. She wondered briefly if he would detect a lie if he couldn’t see her face. She threw that idea out as soon as she thought about it. Jon was the only soul she’d ever known that could, not only tell when she was faking smiles, but was bold enough to call her out on it. She turned her head back towards him but didn’t roll over.

“They’re all sycophants.” Daenerys confided. “I have enough social capital that it’s cool to be seen with me and to hang around me but not enough actual capital that would give me the freedom to distance myself from those people without hurting my career. I kind of still need them. So, I’m friends with a lot of people that can connect me with different directors and producers, but would definitely write a book about me if I got big enough for them to get a best seller from a bunch of made up scandals.”

“That sounds miserable.” Jon brushed his thumb across her lips and let his hand rest, cupping her cheek in his palm. “I’m sorry, Dany.”

Daenerys brought her own hand up to cover his. 

“It’s okay. I made my choices.”

Jon could see something else in her eyes. He had no choice but to ignore it. She had already leaned in, her lips pressing against his and her wet tongue pushing into his mouth. Everything else could wait if it meant he could have her naked and moaning underneath him again.

They spent the day in bed tasting each other and exploring new curves and scars with gentle fingers. The longest they spent clothed and out his bedroom was for a twenty minute cold pizza break that doubled as a hygiene break. Still, they could only keep their hands to themselves for so long. Daenerys’s shower quickly became an activity for two before they fell back into bed.

“I have to go.” She whispered against his lips before rolling out of his arms and stretching.

When she turned to look at him, his somber mood had returned and the anguish he felt was clear on his face. “Don’t look at me like that. You’ll make me feel bad for leaving you here heartbroken.”

She expected him to laugh. She’d even delivered the quip with a cheeky smile but the jab seemed to have hit to close. Jon rolled out of the bed immediately and hastily pulled on his briefs. He seemed to be contemplating whether he was going to speak or not.

“What?” Daenerys pushed. “Just say it.”

“It’s laughable and infuriating that you think I’m alone in this.”

“What are you talking about?” Her smile dropped at his snarling.

“D’you think I’ve been sitting here all of these years pining for you? Waiting sad and destitute for the Great Daenerys to come back for me? I left all of that hurt at the train station with you and your baggage.” He shook his head. Curls that swept into his eyes found themselves trapped between his fingers as he pulled at his roots. “But you come back here...and you crawl into my bed...and you...you just hand all of this pain to me like I’m supposed to carry it for you.” 

“Jon, I didn’t ask you for anything. If there’s a difference between what you expect from this and what we agreed upon, then that’s your problem.”

Jon sneered and turned away from her to find his clothes, leaving her scrambling to find hers as well. She refused to fight with him while she was naked and in his bed.

“What just happened? Why are you pissed at me all of sudden?” Daenerys asked, pulling her sweater on. “What did I do?”

Jon turned to her. The emotion in his eyes made her take a step back.

“Don’t worry about it. Clearly I’m the only one that feels any type of way about what we’ve been doing, so you’re right, that is my problem.”

“Jon-”

“No. It’s fine. Go back to L.A. where those people don’t give a fuck about you and we’ll pretend like you don’t love me just like we did five years ago. It worked out well for you the first time.” Jon turned and left the room, leaving her to find her jeans and socks. 

When she left the bedroom with the intention of going to the kitchen to grab her scarf and coat, she saw it hanging by the door where Jon stood with his dog.

“I’ll drive you back to your car.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m parked by the Methodist church. I’ll walk.” She gave him a satirical smile as she tried to walk by. “I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

He grabbed her roughly by her arm to keep her from passing him and held her in place. With his left hand, he grabbed the lead that hung by the door and snapped it on the dog’s collar with a smooth, practiced movement.

“I’m not letting you walk to your car alone while it’s dark.”

He let her go and then turned to open the door for her. He didn’t say anything or even look at her as he helped her up the driveway. The only sound on the street came in the form of humming from the street lamps and the crunch of the snow under their feet. Occasionally Ghost would stop to pee or sniff at something or growl at snow that popped up from his fast moving feet. Mostly, it was silent and awkward as they made their way towards their old school that sat across from the Methodist Church on the other corner. When they reached the car, Daenerys took a deep breath and waited until Jon looked at her. She lost her nerve the moment she saw the sadness in his eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Jon.”

“Merry Christmas, Dany.”

Daenerys bit her lip and leaned down towards Ghost. She scratched behind his ears and whispered a ‘Merry Christmas’ before she unlocked her car and forced herself to settle into the frozen interior. Jon held the door until she was all the way in and then closed it softly, moving to the side so she could drive off. She tried hard not to look back at him but she couldn’t help it. The look on his face in her rearview mirror as he watched her drive away, made her wish that she hadn’t looked at all. 

The Targaryen house wasn’t far from where Jon lived, so Daenerys was rolling into her driveway in less than five minutes. All of the lights were on and all of the cars were parked precisely in their spots.

Sneaking into the house was going to be impossible. Daenerys slowly pushed her key into the lock but still heard the lock click loudly on the other side. There was no use trying to muffle the noise she was making. Rhaella Targaryen was standing in the foyer waiting. When she saw her mother’s face, Daenerys had the fleeting thought that she should have stayed out until everyone was sleeping.

“Where have you been?” Her mother yelled as Daenerys pulled off her shoes.

“Mom, please.”

“We saw you for a total of two hours yesterday and then you just disappeared. I had to hear from Tywin Lannister,” Rhaella spit the name out of her mouth as if it were poisonous. “That you were taking photos and hanging out at Randy’s. You said you wanted to go to the store to pick up a few things. Then I don’t see you for 32 hours?”

“You’re clearly very upset.” Daenerys said, dryly. She ignored her mother’s red face and walked past her to the family room where she knew her brothers would serve as a good barrier. 

“What is wrong with you?” 

Daenerys rolled her eyes but found that it didn’t sooth her nearly as much as it would have if her mother had seen it. 

“Ok, look.” Daenerys said with a cheery smile on her face. “It’s my brothers. Oh, how I’ve missed them.”

“If you missed them, you would have been at home.”

Her brother, Viserys, could barely hold back his laughter and somehow that was her fault as well. She would be dead if the looks her mother gave her could kill.  Rhaegar stepped in as the mediator like a good big brother should.

“Hey, mom, you haven’t done your yoga today. Why don’t you go upstairs and try to relax a bit. I’ll give Dany the chastising she deserves.”

Rhaella looked between her three children and sighed.

“Fine.” She paused as if it were some type of trick. “Don’t go easy on her. She doesn’t deserve it...ruining my favorite holiday.”

Rhaella turned on her heels and marched out of the room, leaving Daenerys standing as the center of attention in the doorway. Her brothers both watched her with a smirk so she took a bow and threw herself onto the couch next to Rhaegar.

“What’s up?” She stretched out on the couch, kicking him playfully. 

He let her rest his feet on her lap but gave her a stern look.

“Would it kill you to behave? You’ve literally been home for a day and already mom is having a meltdown.”

“I don’t know what she wants from me.”

“An adoptive family to take you away.” Viserys chortled with childlike glee. He was still quick enough to dodge the pillow that Daenerys threw at his head.

“Viserys, be nice.” Rhaegar demanded, turning his attention to his baby sister and missing the way Viserys mocked him. “Dany, she just wants you to be here. The only person that loves Christmas more than mom is Mariah Carey...and even then it might be a tie. She misses you and she wants this year to be special. It’s the first time you’ve been home since you left and then you come and no one can find you.”

“I bet she did come.”

“Viserys!” Rhaegar and Daenerys shouted at the same time.

“This is your sister.” Rhaegar added in disbelief. He’d never understood the topics they found acceptable to talk about with each other. Part of it was their seventeen and twenty-five year age gap. The other was that he refused to believe that Daenerys was sexually active

“Just because you’re old and you think Dany is still five, doesn’t mean that I have to ignore the fact that she was playing in snow last night.” Viserys sat back on his chair with a satisfied grin. “And now you dummies are out of pillows to throw.”

“Yes, but my fists still work.” Rhaegar added with a heavy sigh. Then he turned his attention to his sister. “Jon Snow? Really? I thought we’d moved past this.”

Daenerys dropped her head into the arm of the couch and screamed. When she stopped, the only thing she could hear was the sound of the television and ringing in her ears. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She mumbled from her hiding spot.

“Did you call him when you got here?” Viserys asked, with raised eyebrows. “I thought you were over the whole thing.”

“I didn’t call him.” She hissed in his direction. “It just happened.”

“Just happened.” Viserys scoffed. “Remember when you got caught sneaking out to see him?”

“Yeah, Mom spent the whole night saying ‘You’ll never see Jon Snow, again’ and asking God why I wasn’t perfect like Rhaegar.”

Rhaegar stuck his tongue out at her but Viserys laughed quietly.

“Imagine her face when you two end up married.”

This time it was Rhaegar laughing. The horror on her face couldn’t have been more clear.

“I’m-I-We’re not getting married.” Daenerys finally managed to stutter.

“I’m just saying.” He held his hands up in innocence. “You were all heartbroken over him when you left...and you swore that it was so over between you, he might as well be dead. But you were only home a few hours before you ended up in his bed.”

“What are you trying to say, Viserys?” She asked, pulling her legs off of Rhaegar and swinging them to the floor. 

“Dany…” Rhaegar called, as always, trying to mediate. “Vis might have a point.”

“No, he doesn’t.” She gasped, her voice higher and louder. 

She looked at Rhaegar with wide eyes, shocked that he wasn’t taking her side. Viserys opened his mouth to respond but Rhaegar raised his hand to silence him.

“I think as much as you tried to distance yourself from him, there’s a reason why he’s the topic of conversation tonight.” Daenerys tried to interject but Rhaegar raised his hand to her as well, trying to finish before she erupted. “It was like your world turned when you realized you liked him. Do you remember? Because I do. Twelve years old and this little punk boy kissed you and it was all over your face. I think the reason you ended up at his place...after all this time, is because the road not taken is looking pretty good now that you don’t have him around. And Dany...I know you don’t want to hear it but...even if Jon’s not it for you, he’s changed men for you forever.”

Daenerys didn’t respond. She looked at Viserys, whose mouth had straightened into a line. He was avoiding meeting her eye and she was purposely avoiding Rhaegar’s. The silence was overbearing. Instead of giving her attention to her eldest brother, she stood and walked out of the room. Before she reached the stairs, Rhaegar called to her.

“At least apologize to mom before you lock yourself in your room. She’d appreciate it.”

It was childish to march to her room and slam the door but it was the only thing she was willing to do to prove her point. It didn’t take long before she heard her mother in the hall, and before Daenerys could decide whether she was going to go out to her, her mother was knocking on the door. Just like in her daughter’s childhood, Rhaella didn’t wait for an answer before she opened the door. 

“Daenerys,” Rhaella stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. “I feel like you owe me an apology.”

“And I wanted to give you one before you came in here.”

“Where did I go wrong with you?” Rhaella huffed, looking to the sky for guidance. “I just wanted to have a nice Christmas-”

“We still can. I am sorry that you wanted to spend the day with me yesterday and I wasn’t here.” Daenerys paused, catching her mother’s eye. “I will apologize for that , but I’m not going to apologize for doing what I wanted to do...and that didn’t include being in this house with all of your Christmas rituals.”

“Daenerys, it’s Christmas. Of course I want my children home with me. What is so bad about this house that you feel like you have to run from it every chance you get?”

“You suffocate me.” Rhaella took a step back as if the statement physically wounded her. “Look, Rhaegar drilled it into me enough as a kid. I’m your last child. I’m the only girl. I know...I know you tried for a long time and lost a lot of babies. I know that. I just...maybe I wasn’t the baby that was supposed to live. The pageants, the dresses, all of your expectations...are suffocating. Just like this ridiculous holiday. Everywhere, all the time. I can’t take it. Maybe Jon is right and I just hate it because of you.”

“Jon.” Rhaella nodded her head with clarity. “Jon Snow always finds his way into this house somehow.”

“What is your problem with him?” Daenerys asked incredulously.

“I don’t have a problem with Jon Snow. I have a problem with the things he encourages you to do.” Rhaella held out her hand to start counting on her fingers. “Skipping school to hang out in the park, sneaking out at night to see him, blowing off prom to drive around in his decrepit truck, and let’s not forget moving to L.A. to get away from your wretched family.”

“Let’s be clear, not a single thing you said was something that I didn’t want to do.”

“Right.” Rhaella rolled her eyes mockingly. “It was all your idea...not that I could ever trust any of that. You got really good at lying because of that boy, too. I bet if he told you to, you’d say goodbye to us, leave this house Monday morning, and go straight to his bed like you were being paid for it.”

Daenerys was always primed for a fight but her face fell when her mother’s words hit her. 

“I can’t believe you just said that to me.” Rhaella had the decency to look down in shame. “Don’t worry, mom. Saturday and Sunday are all yours. I’ll play nice and be a good girl and you can have the Christmas Eve and Christmas that you always wanted. And when I walk out of the door on Monday, you can pretend you don’t have a daughter anymore. That way you don’t have to worry about whether I’m a successful actress or whether I’m a fuckup that decided to stay with my high school boyfriend.”

“Dany-”

“It’s okay. Please leave my room. I’m tired and I’d like to sleep.”

Rhaella nodded and turned to the door, hesitating before she finally opened it and stepped into the hall. She didn’t bother to turn around when she shut the door but Daenerys didn’t see it anyway. She had already reached over to turn off her lamp, settling into the darkness. With the lights out and a good pillow under her head, she realized that she was tired. The excitement of Jon and the stress of dealing with her family left her feeling weak. This would mark the end of her second day home and she hadn’t even seen her dad. That was another argument coming. Daenerys didn’t dwell on any of it. She thought of how well she slept the night before and allowed the memory of Jon’s arms to sooth her to sleep. 

It was Viserys that woke her the next morning. He annoyed her by poking around at the things in her room and she annoyed him but by pretending she didn’t care. They did this familiar dance for a while before their mother called for them.

“Before we go down and I can’t say this anymore without starting the next world war…” Viserys started, grabbing her wrist as she headed for the bedroom door. “You know I would never wish Jon Snow on you, Dany. There are richer men you could get pregnant by.”

All she could do was laugh and push him out the door with a confident “I know.” It was a good way to start Christmas Eve. Because she was already in a good mood, it spilled into the rest of the weekend and she was able to keep her word to her mother. They did have the Christmas Rhaella wanted. Daenerys talked about the technicalities of her job with her father, allowed herself to be teased by her brothers, and only spoke to her mother when necessary. When all the gifts had been opened and Christmas dinner devoured in the formal dining room, Daenerys hugged her brothers, kissed her father, and gave a sincere goodbye speech before she bid everyone a goodnight. After all, she had an early flight to catch and Christmas presents to stuff into her luggage. Rhaella would have been proud if she wasn’t so pissed. 

When Daenerys woke up on Monday morning, she had the feeling of disappointment sitting heavily in her chest. She thought about how Viserys looked at her when she hugged him the night before. Their eight year age gap didn’t make them the closest of siblings but they always had a great relationship that grew stronger while she was away. That was the only thing she could think of as she gathered a few small items to throw in her carry-on. It couldn’t be helped if she lived across the country from her brothers. If she wanted to be an actress, she had to live where the auditions were. She had to live where the connections were. Still, the reasoning didn’t help the sense in her body that made her feel like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. 

She hoisted her bags off of the floor and snuck out of the door, closing it with her house key laying bare on the front table. She didn’t have any more time to give to the feelings that house and her mother brought out of her. Instead, she loaded her rental car, searched for the only person in her phone that she knew would be awake at this time, and pulled out of the driveway.

“Why are you calling me at 5 a.m.?” The voice rang out loudly over the Bluetooth system

“Because I knew you’d be awake.” Daenerys paused, waiting to be chastised. “I was just calling to check in. I’m all packed and I’m headed to the airport.”

“Okay, great. I’ll be there when you land.” The line went quiet longer than it should have. “Daenerys?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.” Daenerys sighed heavily. “Hey, Dei, I think I’m going to stop by my ex’s house before I go.”

“Okay? Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m a dumb bitch. I don’t know.” 

“Okay...well, that’s a really helpful explanation.” Daenerys could picture Missandei’s exact face from the lilt in her voice.

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.” She could hear Missandei sighing on the other end. “We fucked...and I’m pissed about it, because he said all of these things to me that weren’t... not true...but it wasn’t his place, you know?”

“So...you want to go to your ex’s house to confront him about telling the truth?”

Daenerys didn’t say anything. She was already on Jon’s block and she didn’t know if she should keep driving or stop.

“Dany, tell me what’s really going on?”

“I hate him.” She responded, her voice wavering. “I hate that I’m even considering missing my flight because of him.” 

“Did you call me to talk you out of it?” Missandei asked softly.

“Please talk me out of it.” Daenerys pulled into Jon’s driveway and turned off her car. “I’m sitting here and I have a list of reasons to go knock on his door, but I also have a list of reasons I should turn the car back on and go to the airport. What would you do if you were me?”

“If I were you?” Missandei clarified. “I’d go to the airport. You’re sensitive, D. If you go over there, after already sleeping with him, who’s really walking away with the broken heart?”

“Okay,so-”

“But do you want me to tell you what I’d do as your friend that supports you in all of your endeavors?”

“Yes, please.”

“You’re not getting laid in L.A. What’s the harm in rolling around a bit and coming back home relaxed and satiated?”

Daenerys laughed but her mouth fell open as soon as she saw the front door open and a sleepy Jon Snow stepped out into the snow.

“Wait...I think he saw me pull into the driveway. Fuck. He’s coming to my car, I’ll call you back.”

Daenerys promptly hung up the phone when she saw him walking towards her car. The anger from their last meeting had dissipated but his face was guarded as he motioned for her to roll down her window. When she did, he leaned down so they were face to face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked softly.

She blinked slowly, trying to put together a coherent thought but she couldn’t have looked into his eyes and lied even if she wanted to. 

“I’ve got all of my bags in the car and I was headed to the airport.

“And you ended up in my driveway?” The question lingered between him as his eyes flickered to the suitcase in the backseat. “The airport is in the opposite direction.

“I thought maybe I could stay a little longer. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I hung around until after the new year.”

He tilted his head and pursed his lips. She could tell that he wanted to interrupt but he wouldn’t give her any opening to back out of her confession.

“I want to stay a bit longer...with you. I just...I won’t stay here forever. A couple of days and then I’m going back to L.A. So...I was thinking. That’s why I was sitting here. I was trying to talk myself out of missing this flight because as much as I want to…”

Her breath came out in a shutter and she began to cry. Her cheeks turned red and her eyelashes fluttered.

“What? ‘As much as you want to’ what?”

“It’s so unfair.” The words poured out of her carelessly. She hiccupped trying to keep herself from sobbing. “For me to want to spend this time with you, knowing that I’m going to leave. That I want to leave. I woke up this morning in physical pain because I feel like I’m tearing myself in two by leaving.”

He watched her cry, following her hands as they wiped recklessly at her tears.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” She squeaked. Her face scrunched in confusion. “What does that mean?”

He pulled his bottom lip in to bite at it and then gave a heavy sigh as he ran a hand through his loose curls. 

“It means that I’m going to get your bag out of the car and we’ll go in and you can make the calls you need. Reschedule your flight and all of that.”

“Jon-”

“I’m a big boy and you’re a big girl. You can stay...and when you leave for the airport next week…” He finally stood, sighing heavily and clenching his eyes closed. “We’re adults. We’re making an adult decision, so my only condition is that we have to be fair to each other.”

Daenerys thought about what that meant as she tried to dry her tears. She couldn’t hold back the rattling breath that she took when his words settled.

“I won’t ask you to wait for me.”

He nodded, pulling his lips in before breathing heavily through his nose. He leaned over again, sticking his head through the window.

“And I won’t ask you to stay.” He took a step back and opened her car door, allowing her to climb out. He closed the door behind her and pressed her against the car. Jon lifted his frozen hand to her chin to make sure she was looking at him. The air was crisp and the snow fresh but the cold didn’t keep their blue lips from coming together. It was brief, but the feel of Jon’s lips against hers was a shock of dopamine that she couldn’t imagine going without. When she pulled back, she couldn’t keep the silly smile off of her face.

“What are we doing?” She whispered. Her question came out like smoke between them. “You know what they say about taking temporary pleasure and long term misery.”

“Actually, I don’t know what they say.”

“Fine.” She shrugged, pulling him closer by the bagging fabric on his coat. “What do you say?”

He leaned in to kiss her again. This time a bit a longer, but when he pulled back, he kept his eyes closed and let a small grin take over his face. When he opened his eyes there was a smile there as if he’d been able to physically savor this moment and lock it away.

“I say ‘tis the damn season.”