Chapter Text
Tsukasa never had any friends. He prefer his brother over anything. His brother is like sedatives. Happy pills.
That's why Tsukasa won't let him leave him. Not ever.
No matter what..., Tsukasa will always have Amane, and Amane will always have Tsukasa.
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Amane always wanted to go to the moon. He admired it, everything about the stars, the moon. All that junk.
So that's why when Amane got the chance to go to a activity to watch the stars and learn more about them with his class and sensei, he couldn't decline. He asked obaasan to sign it, and of course she did, she knew how obsessed Amane was after all.
That's why they didn't tell Tsukasa.
Tsukasa would wreck it if he knew! Amane's fun would be ruined and he'd have to stay home with the wrecker himself! Tsukasa has ruined enough of Amane's chances.
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"Obaa? Where's Amane goin'?" The small, raven-haired boy asked as he tugged on the woman's kimono sleeve.
Amane was already in ojiisan's car, and they were off to the school he to drop his brother off.
"Ah? He's going to go to the store." She said and smiled down at Tsukasa.
" Do you want to go inside and watch the television? " she asked. She knew it was a cruel thing to lie to Tsukasa, to lie about the person he loved most. But it was for Amane, Amane was sure to have lots of fun and then come back home and tell Tsukasa all about it. Tsukasa was sick anyways, he didn't want to go to that "loser fest" and no one wanted him to go while he was sick either.
Before Tsukasa could protest, Amane and ojiisan had already driven off.
Tsukasa frowned and nodded softly, grabbing onto the woman's hand as they headed inside.
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After the two arrived, Ojisan gave Amane 500 yen and told him to use it wisely. The boy eagerly nodded and thanked him. He waved as Ojisan drove off, watching the small black puffs of smoke come out of the back and listening to the engine sounds get farther and farther away. He turned back around and saw Tsuchigomori practically towering above him.
Amane smiled up at him and Tsuchigomori smiled softly back at him. They walked off to join the class inside. There was a small line of students up in front of the snack shack, which was open for this event, tables next to it selling the good food, the type of food that costed more than the snacks and came in one of those microwave safe to-go bowls. Next to that table was the door and outside of it were benches underneath the cherryblossom tree, students were eating there too.
Tsuchigomori started walking off to the stairwell, and so Amane followed, Tsuchigomori-sensei was the only one there that he knew.
They made their way up the stairs until they got to the roof. There were children sitting on picnic blankets, a few tables with snacks and water on them, and telescopes on the fence. Amane has always thought about jumping off from the fence, but he always shook that thought out of his mind.
For now, Amane would just enjoy the stars.
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Tsukasa was sitting on the couch watching the television while Obaasan was in the kitchen, preparing dinner.
Tsukasa watched the TV with big eyes, he's never seen such a cool thing played on the old box before. It was a movie about monsters taking over the human race. Usually him and Amane are left to watch the news, or boring commercial's about the latest cereal, or store, or anything. Tsukasa always got too bored with them and went upstairs to listen to a broadcast on his radio.
Soon, Ojisan got home and Tsukasa immediately turned his gaze to the door. The door was right next to the TV so that did help a bit.
Ojisan entered the room but...no Amane..?
"Where's Amane? Did you leave him in the car?" Tsukasa asked as Ojisan chuckled.
"No, No. Amane is just taking his time! So, what are ya watching?" He asked as he sat down on the couch next to Tsukasa.
Tsukasa frowned again, no Amane, huh? Tsukasa sighed but answered his question with a smile.
"Oh! It's a movie about monsters who eat the people! They take over and gobble them up!" He said, throwing his arms up with excitement , "And- and- and they come up from a swamp! They walk to town and go 'graaaaah!!' " Tsukasa said, making his own little sound effects.
Ojisan chuckled again and nodded, turning his attention to the TV and so did Tsukasa.
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The three ate dinner...no Amane? Still?
"Oji.. Amane sure is taking his sweet sweet time..huh.?" Tsukasa pouted at him from across the circular table. Obaasan came back to the kitchen from washing her hands. She walked through the door and looked at the table, frowning.
"Why haven't you eaten yet? Silly." She asked as she walked behind Tsukasa and patted his head, sitting next to him.
The way the sitting arrangement worked was ojisan in front of the sink with the window above it, obaasan on the right in front of the fridge, and Amane next to Tsukasa.
When Tsukasa was next to Obaa but not Amane, he didn't like it. Knowing, or... Thinking, Amane was out in the cold.
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They finished eating and Tsukasa was sent upstairs to get some rest for tomorrow. Ojisan left to go pick up Amane, and Obaasan was washing dishes.
Tsukasa offered to help her, just so he wouldn't have to go upstairs alone, but Obaasan said no. So off he went, alone, upstairs, in their dark room.
He opened the door and cringed. Hated it there..
He jumped into his bed and curled up. He's done that so much that the bed probably would've broken if not for the big boxes filled with toys under the bed.
He exhaled into his pillow and that's when his breath became fast and heavy.
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Amane and Ojisan were already in the car, driving home. Amane rambled about how much fun it was, waving his small rocket he had been given around. It was about the size of his hand and had a yellow brim. It was very poorly painted, the paint was already chipping off and underneath it was an ugly beige shade.
"Yeah..it's cool but it can never replace this baby." Amane said as he pulled out his rocket keychain. Tsukasa had won it at a star festival for him. Amane was upset he spent 3 hours doing katanuki just so he can win that small trinket , but Tsukasa was the opposite, he gave it to him with a wide smile and bragged about how many carvings he did to get it. He missed dinner just for that tiny thing...and because of that Amane keeps on him at all times.
Soon,they got home and Obaasan greeted them. They sat at the table for awhile and spoke about how his activity was. Obaasan offered to reheat some dinner for him, but Amane explained that he already had dinner.
"Those to-go boxes were surprisingly good. I expected the Katsudon to be cold or something." He said with a smile as he stood up.
He said good night and made his way upstairs.
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Tsukasa scratched his nails up and down his arms. He wanted to feel anything other than being alone. Even if it meant pain.
His breath was uneven, his eyelids were pale from squeezing them shut, his brows were tilted, creating a very sad look for the boy. He couldn't take it. Amane wasn't there. He started thinking of the worst possible ideas.
"Amane is gone."
"He left me."
"What did I do this time?"
"why would he leave me like that? "
"What's wrong with him?! Why is he so selfish!?"
He groaned in frustration as he grabbed either side of his head and sighed a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry Amane...whatever I did...I'm sorry.....please come back.." He sniffled. he was on the brink of tears but then he heard the door click.
He turned around to see Amane's confused face as he reached to turn on the lights.
"Tsukasa?"
The boy sprung out of bed and hugged his brother right as he turned on the lights.
" Amaneee~!
" Ah-....Tsukasa. " Amane said in his strict big brother voice as he tore the other off of him and set him on the bed.
"What is this?" he pointed at Tsukasa's arm. He was trying to use his big brother voice but failed, fear outlined this one, and his eyes too. Why was Amane scared?
Oh.
Oh.
He was bleeding.
His arms were covered in scratches and pink. The scratches were pale while the skin around it was a soft pink. Beads of blood were at the surface where he broke the skin, daring to spill. Had he really done it that hard? He didn't mean to go that far. Does Amane even care? Or is he trying to-
"Tsukasa.
Tsukasa was cut off by Amane's strict voice. Fear wasn't in this one. He sounded mad.
Tsukasa stared up into his brothers identical eyes. The only difference was Tsukasa's were wide and constricted and Amane's were narrowed. Yep. Amane was mad.
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After Tsukasa didn't answer again, Amane had dragged him into the bathroom across from their room.
Tsukasa was now sitting on the edge of the bath while Amane angrily dug through the cabinets.
After Amane found the rubbing alcohol and bandaids, he stood in front of Tsukasa and held his wrist out so he could dab the alcohol covered cotton ball into the scratches. Tsukasa looked down and Amane looked at his brothers arm.
It was dead silent.
Too Silent...
"is Amane mad at me?" Tsukasa asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked up at his brother , his head still lowered. He looked like a cowering dog. Like a kicked puppy.
"Tsu..." Amane sighed as his furrowed brows relaxed .
"I'm not mad I'm just confused..."
Tsukasa inhaled and held his breath, looking back down.
" What happened? "
"cat."
"How?"
Amane waited for a response, but after realizing it wasn't going to come he gently lifted Tsukasa up by his wrists and smiled at him.
"Let's go to sleep. Okay?"