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childe’s on autopilot now. he feels his hands and lips moving first before he can make up the situation. perhaps the humidity that comes with summer nights causes more concussions towards him more than he ever acknowledged before. he can feel his and the other revealed body beneath him growing hot, burning up as soon as their skins touch each other ever so slightly. childe’s not thinking straight. not that anyone has ever said that he has the utmost rational thinking, but he concludes that his head is spinning ever more feverishly this moment.
because a few seconds ago, kaeya was focused on the wounds scattered around childe’s already scarred body from previous sparring which per usual, was childe’s invitation. it wasn’t the first time kaeya treat his wounds. childe would ask (maybe way too frequently) for kaeya to monitor his practice with the bow or spar then proceed to treat each other’s wounds afterwards. but it is the first time childe lets kaeya do it inside his own bedroom. and perhaps it was the rough look on kaeya’s delicate face framed by his now untied hair, flowing gracefully in summer air that drove childe crazy.
or perhaps it was because of the man alone.
they both had stripped out of their tops, leaving only their pants, childe once again trying his best not to stare at kaeya’s melanin-rich skin, glowing in the afterlight just before the sun sets. but kaeya’s body is pretty even with scars and bruises and wounds smaller than childe’s and the air in the room turns heavy when kaeya carefully tends to childe’s patched skin, both of them sitting at the edge of childe’s bed. the place childe has thought of kaeya in ways most sinful and pleasurable.
too close for childe to not steal glances at kaeya’s well-structured body and think of how he would love to hold kaeya in ways that can pleasure him endlessly. “you shouldn’t have held back way too much,” kaeya commented, cleaning childe’s wounds.
and childe knew very well that kaeya was talking about sparring. knew that kaeya was telling him to stop holding back in order to keep kaeya safe from injuries during their fights. knew that maybe childe doesn’t care much about the injuries and wounds on his body as long as kaeya can keep touching and holding him. knew that kaeya wasn’t talking about this. not talking about childe closing the space between them by pulling kaeya roughly by his shoulders and slotting their lips together. he saw kaeya’s deep blue eyes widening and his hands against childe’s chest. but childe doesn’t feel the rejection clear enough to pull back.
so childe’s arms circle kaeya’s waist and he pulls kaeya closer into his lap, kaeya gasping at the sudden shift of position giving childe a chance to slip his tongue into the warm cave of kaeya’s mouth. and he sees kaeya closing his eyes, giving in to the sensation and arousal. feels the response in kaeya’s kiss slowly growing eager. and childe gains confidence from the thought of kaeya not hating the kiss alone and slowly unbuttons kaeya’s pants, struggling as he tries to keep up with the heated kiss. his head feels heavy, clouded when he gently pushes kaeya to lie down on the bed.
“kaeya,” the name rolls past his tongue and he thinks it’s the sweetest two syllables he has ever pronounced in his entire life. he has to make sure this isn’t one of his imagination in another lonely night on his bed with his hands stroking himself towards pleasure, the same name whispered out repetitively, dissipating into thick midnight air. he has to make sure that this time someone reciprocates the call. that this isn’t him longing for this man alone.
a small whimper into the bedsheet comes as a reply and childe’s fingers shakily ghosts down kaeya’s lovely waist. childe almost laughed. he has imagined this way too much time and he’s almost afraid to hold the body beneath him, afraid that he might evaporate and disappear. but he looked up and saw the look in kaeya’s eyes, anticipating and aroused. childe’s breath hitched.
childe runs his finger around kaeya’s waist and hips, his touch desperate and bold this time. there are way too many occasions where childe exaggeratedly forced himself to calm down when his eyes accidentally landed on kaeya’s narrow waist and accentuated hipbones in skintight pants. way too many times has he wondered what it would feel like to drag kaeya around by the waist and keeps his body close to childe’s.
the ginger-haired watches the face of the man below him as his hands mindlessly roams the bare of his skin as if it is childe’s for the taking. kaeya’s face is flushed, his eyes heavy-lidded and lips parted lustfully, glistening and shiny from shared saliva. his hair no longer tied and disheveled, wildly splayed across the bedsheet and tangled around kaeya’s moonlit face. his expression speaks a language childe wants to desperately understand and interprets it into something ambitious.
“mmmh,” childe hears kaeya hopelessly moans when childe intentionally circles his thumb around kaeya’s side and ribcage. something unfamiliar inside childe’s chest snapped and flickered and he almost panicked.
“ah, so you’re sensitive here?” childe whispers as his lips make their way down to kaeya’s toned abs. a warm tongue licks a gentle strip along kaeya’s navel and childe hears him gasp. feels his head getting dizzy from the sound alone, from the shiver he feels beneath his calloused fingers. the scent of kaeya’s honey-glazed skin intoxicating. glaze lilies and faint wine. a thin film of pink wrapping around kaeya’s and his body.
childe gently flips kaeya’s smaller figure around the bed, chest now pressed against the pristine white bedsheet. childe takes pride in the way kaeya lets him have the blue-haired man however he wants, handing himself into childe’s wandering hands. childe learns that kaeya is especially sensitive around his lower half and savour this new information, hovering his lips along kaeya’s spine to see the way kaeya’s body innocently responds and shudders beneath childe. childe places one small kiss on kaeya’s tailbone. two. three kisses. “a-ah,” kaeya chokes, wanton as childe teases his tailbone with a satisfied smirk on his face.
childe silently hopes kaeya can’t make out his accelerated heartbeat and thumping chest when he presses his chest against kaeya’s back, arms wrapped around kaeya’s middle and his lips in the warmth of the cavalry captain’s neck.
there’s a feeling of accomplishment to see how submissive the prideful captain suddenly turned into. kaeya has always been the type that can easily make people feel small and inferior just from the look in his eyes alone. not to mention his silver tongue which kaeya skilfully put to use to confuse both his foes and allies, always successful in getting the reaction he wanted from anyone, always a tease. and he attacks when his play of words leave his opponents distracted. kaeya’s mercilessly manipulative, even in battlefield.
but now, kaeya is in his grasps, pliant and obedient, shrinking but hungrily lapping the attention given his way. from the small hums and noises coming out his throat and the misplaced rhythm of his body when he shivers and gasp in sensation, childe takes joy in how sincere and translucent kaeya is in the moment. childe’s heart ache without warning.
childe peppers smooth kisses on the other’s revealed skin, on his shoulder blades, the curves of his slender neck. his lips grazing kaeya’s soft, silky jade blue hair longer than the breaths he hold. “so beautiful,” the words slipped out of his mouth out of impulse. surprised at his own voice, childe’s cheeks turn red and he’s sure kaeya can feel his racing heart knocking at his back now. he burrows his nose in the space of kaeya’s neck, somehow devastated at how shameless he displayed his feelings out in the space of the humid room.
he can’t see kaeya’s face now, but there’s a glint of hope that kaeya’s somehow fluttered by childe’s compliment. although kaeya probably doesn’t need it. not when he receives lustful stares from both males and females whenever he appears around town, one too many confessions from either civilians in mondstadt or outside travellers. there’s no way kaeya doesn’t know how indescribably desirable and magnificent he is.
but childe can’t help but hope his tender touches will symbolise the heartfelt deepening fondness that the harbinger harbours towards the knight. can’t help but hope he feels the desperation and longing in childe’s kiss peppered across kaeya’s velvety canvas. can’t help but hope that kaeya will see through childe’s hesitations from the determination of his eyes and the constant slips of his tongue.
something inside childe snapped and he experiences an epiphany. he realises that sex with kaeya is not the only thing he wants. realises that this isn’t how he usually does it. realises that there’s an unknown yearning he’s feeling right now. realises that if all that he wants is physical, he won’t be here dragging his hands and lips on the bare skin inch by inch in such questionably romantic manner. realises that all his daydreams are not just sexual ones. realises that he has been hopelessly imagining holding his hands, placing tender kisses on his cheeks and seeing the red on his face, telling him sweet-nothings and mean every single word that comes out of his lips, be the warmth that the other has been looking for.
perhaps childe is asking for too much.
he places one of his hands carefully on kaeya’s chest, hoping that the heartbeat will be a friendly reminder that it is indeed kaeya beneath him right now.
“say my name, kaeya,” his order sounds more like a request, pleading and desperation bleeding from his heart to his dry lips but childe has decided to embrace it. he feels kaeya shifts beneath him as he slightly turns his head to look at childe and childe’s blazing sunset eyes meet ocean blue ones. he swears he sees the star-shaped pupil dilates in the easy mellow light coming from the moon. kaeya lightly clasps childe’s hand resting on his chest and the gesture makes childe hopes. and there’s that one second of childe’s heartbeat coming to a halt and it feels like he’s learning how to breath from scratch.
there’s a strand of dark blue hair framing kaeya’s face and a faint blush on his perfect cheekbones when he bashfully speaks underneath his breath, “tartaglia.”
childe feels dizzy, drunk, jittery and utterly sick.
kaeya looks as if he’s worried that he might have chosen the wrong step in the dance they are having in the ballroom, as if he put the wrong word in a sentence they are both trying to finish. childe stares as kaeya’s eyes flickered down, now intimidatingly avoiding childe’s bold gaze. childe tucks the piece of hair behind kaeya’s ear, careful and thoughtful, before cupping the man’s face in one of his hands. look at me, childe silently says in his head but kaeya seems to be able to hear it, seeing as his gaze turns back to childe once more, trying his luck.
“are you scared?” childe asks. for both kaeya and himself. he doesn’t have to tell kaeya of what , kaeya seems to guess it himself. and childe isn’t imagining the way kaeya leans into the warmth of childe’s palm, receiving the gesture needily.
“i am.”
childe chuckles, relieved. relieved and grateful that he’s not the only one being a coward. that he’s not the only hopelessly falling a cliff with no wings. he’s not the only one with hopes too high and dreams too big.
he leans down, presses his forehead to kaeya’s with utmost care, his chest flushed against kaeya’s, his heart dealing with the damage when kaeya curiously and intently blinks, heat radiating from his neck to his ears. kaeya’s too beautiful. “me too. but i have carelessly fallen in love with you,” childe confesses. kaeya’s already scared, so he might as well scare him to the point of no turning back. kaeya might get up from the bed and dress up and leave the room, might let childe sleep alone on the spacious bed, only able to reminisce the feeling of having his bare hands on kaeya’s naked cold skin.
however it might turn out later, childe already placed his piece on the chessboard, already took his turn, decided on his bet and took the risk. that’s just how childe feels towards kaeya. worth it all.
and childe’s chest expanded, heart swelling and aching when kaeya wraps his arms around childe’s waist and pulls the harbinger closer, pressing impossibly intimate. a smile playing on his face, soothing and sweet. his eyes seeming to have stolen all the lights from the stars above, childe’s heart might combust from the sight alone,
“then i guess you can catch me?”