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The atmosphere as they sit around the campfire is good and light, carefree almost. They’re joking around, passing each other lychees and simply enjoying the warmth of the flames.
Toni’s sitting between Martha and Dot, with Fatin, Shelby, Rachel, Nora, and Leah completing the circle on the other side of the fire.
“Ugh, what I’d do for some marshmallows right now.” Dot sighs as she stabs the flames with a thin stick.
“You could try roasting a lychee?” Martha jokingly suggests and the others laugh when Dot shrugs her shoulders and impales the tropical fruit with a stick before sticking it right into the flames. Toni smirks when she catches Shelby rolling her eyes in disbelief.
“Toni, you may have the honour.” Dot says as she points the stick right in front of Toni’s face, who leans back as far as she can without losing her balance completely.
“Think I’ll pass.” She replies, eyeing the now smouldering piece of fruit.
“Hey, what’s that?” Dot then asks, lowering her stick and leaning forward a little to get a better look of Toni’s neck.
“What’s what?” Toni frowns, not liking how she’s suddenly in the centre of attention. She grabs Martha’s can of coke and takes a sip.
“There on your neck. It kind of looks like-.” Dot examines the faint bruise on Toni’s neck, her eyes suddenly widening. “Oh my god, is that a hickey?”
Toni chokes on her drink and tries to recover smoothly, but the tears in her eyes and red cheeks are evident.
A lot happens at once then, Martha looks absolutely scandalized, Fatin shoots a knowing grin her way, Leah stares at her with open mouth, Rachel’s eyebrows shoot up impressively high, Nora stares at her through the flames with a blank expression on her face, and Shelby, Shelby pointedly averts her gaze as if she’s considering to give teleportation a try.
“Did you-.”
“Who did-.”
“Oh my god, Toni. When-?”
“Guys, shut up! Some insect bit me when I was out on a food run earlier, that’s all.” Toni says quickly, hoping they’d just drop it already. She briefly allows her eyes to land on Shelby, but she fails to make eye contact.
“Nah, that is definitely a hickey.” Dot concludes with one final look.
“Wish insects would give me hickeys.” Fatin sighs dreamily with teasing grin on her face.
“Just drop it.” Toni tries, not liking the way Shelby seems to be desperately looking for a way out. Her shoulders are tense and her skin appears to be even paler than usual.
“Can’t blame us for being curious. Besides, you know we’d all totally support you guys, right? Whoever it is.” Rachel shrugs and Leah looks around as if she’s scanning the others for possible clues that might give away the hickey-giver’s identity.
It’s then when Shelby promptly stands up and disappears out of sight in the direction of the previously discovered cave. The group falls silent.
“I mean, most of us would.” Rachel corrects her earlier statement, shooting daggers with her eyes to where Shelby disappeared. Toni follows her line of sight, but with a completely different expression on her face.
When Toni moves to stand up, she’s stopped by Martha’s soft hand on her arm.
“I’m so sorry, Toni. If I had known Shelby-.”
“It’s fine, Marty. Don’t worry about it.” Toni sighs as she stands up, facing the others again with a tired but annoyed glare.
“Just drop it, guys. For once.” She walks off, leaving the group behind in a stunned silence.
It doesn’t take long to find Shelby, hugging her knees as she sits with her back against the cold cave wall. Being away from the warmth of the fire, Toni remembers how cold it gets at night. After spending hours near the flames, the cold air hits her like a slap in the face.
“You alright?” Toni asks softly, slowly lowering herself to sit down beside her.
Shelby sighs and turns her head to look at her.
“If they found out… I just know they’re gonna hate me or laugh at me, or-.”
“Why would they?” Toni asks softly.
Shelby stares at her dirty shoes that were once pearly white.
“I’ve been nothing but fake. God, they- they have no idea who I really am.”
“Hey, that’s not true.” Toni reaches out to touch her hand, trying to soften the death grip Shelby has on her own elbow.
“We all know you’re a fantastic hunter. You know how to find water, fuck, you can identify animals by their actual shit. We would definitely have starved to death already if we didn’t have you around. Hell, we probably would've lost our minds too. You’re the one who keeps us all sane. Whenever we’re stuck in our doom scenarios, you manage to pull us out with your optimism. You’re so kind, so selfless. The way you befriended Martha on day one...” Toni pauses, remembering the early days with conflicted feelings.
“I didn’t want to admit it at first, I didn’t want to see it, but I was actually pretty jealous.” Toni laughs softly at her own ridiculousness. Shelby turns to look at her with an amused look on her face. She’s managed to loosen Shelby’s grip, now gently holding her hand in her own.
“Of me? Or Martha?” Shelby has to ask.
“I guess kind of…both?” Toni realizes now with a chuckle and watches the smile on Shelby’s face grow. They’re both quiet for a moment, momentarily forgetting what happened just a couple minutes prior.
Shelby sighs, letting her head fall back against the hard surface of the wall.
“You don’t have to tell them anything, you know. But they’re a good bunch. They’d never judge.” Toni reassures her.
“They think I’m a homophobic bitch.” Shelby whispers sadly.
“Well, I know you’re not.” Toni gives her hand a soft squeeze. She notices the way Shelby’s slightly shivering.
“Do you wanna head back?” Toni asks, secretly longing to go back to the warmth of the campfire as soon as possible.
Instead of answering, Shelby pushes herself up and holds out her hand to pull Toni to her feet as well.
“I could wait here, you know, give you a headstart, so they won’t-.”
Before Toni can finish her sentence, she’s silenced by Shelby’s lips on her own. It takes her brain a moment to catch up, but when it does, Toni grabs her waist and kisses her right back. When Shelby eventually pulls back, she presses her forehead against Toni's.
"I'm sorry about your neck." Shelby says sheepishly.
"Oh, don't be. I like it. But warn me next time? I'll ask Fatin if I can borrow one of her scarves."
Shelby chuckles and backs away a little, holding out her hand and waiting for Toni to grab it.
"Let's go back."
"You sure?" Toni wonders, looking at her outstretched hand questioningly.
"Yeah." Shelby says, sounding more sure of herself now. Toni grabs her hand and lets herself be led back to the campfire, where only Martha and Fatin are left warming themselves up by the fire. The others are scattered around the place, trying to get some sleep, or rather, staring at the star splattered sky while they wait for sleep to claim them.
Toni loosens her grip on Shelby's hand, but Shelby keeps hers firmly in place.
"Fucking finally." Fatin exclaims at the sight of them. She eyes their linked hands, but doesn't comment on it. It takes Martha a second to come to the realisation, but when she does, she greets the pair with a beaming smile.
Toni eyes Shelby carefully as they sit down near the flames, but there’s no sign of discomfort or fear. Maybe it’s the anti-climax of it all, this grand small gesture of holding hands, something that could mean so much and could be so easily overlooked all the same, and the easy silence they’re greeted with from the others. There’s no judgement. And maybe, Toni realizes, being stranded on a tropical island with these people isn’t the worst thing in the world.