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2020-12-23
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1/1
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14
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Somewhere to hang your hat.

Summary:

A girls Christmas party doesn't go to plan. Usual disclaimer: Mostly not my characters, no one else is using them, so I'm playing with them.

Work Text:

"Briggs." Snapped the voice at the other end of the phone line.Caitlin O'Shannessy spun a half turn in the office chair at Santini Air and smirked at Alice, Stringfellow Hawkes half-sister, perched on the edge of the desk. "Hi Michael? How are you?" She twisted the phone cord in her right hand, receiver held to her left ear.

"Caitlin! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" He purred.

"I just thought, with Christmas coming up, I ought to… well… See what your plans are?" She grimaced. She hadn't handled that well. Even Alice had cringed.

He laughed. "I know exactly what you AND Alice are after."

Her eyes widened. "You do?"

"I AM an intelligence agent. I do keep my ears to the ground and that includes this office."

"So… what exactly are we after then?"

"You want to stop over at the guest house next Thursday night so you don't have to drive home after the girls' night out Samantha has organised." She could almost hear the smirk at the other end of the line.

She frowned. "How in hell do you do that!"

He chuckled. "Top Secret, I'd have to kill you if I told you. And of course you can both use the Guest house. I'll drop the keys off tomorrow."

*****AW*****

"Those girls do not have a clue how to party." grumbled Alice as she and Cait ambled back along the Ocean Walk.

"It was a real nice meal." Cait said defensively.

"Only if you like crab… and I don't. It's like that Monty Python Sketch, Spam, Spam Spam. Except it's Crab, Crab, Crab and I don't like crab! And one bottle of wine between 6 of us? I mean what's that about."

"They do have to work tomorrow, but..." Cait sighed, "I guess it's not exactly the sorta partying we're used to when Dom's around."

"Sorry Cait, I know I'm whining but... After everything that's happened this year, I really wanted to just… "She sighed. "... Let my hair down? And I think secretly you do too?" Alice grinned conspiratorially as she paused to take off her heels and scuff her toes through the sand. "Come on, you know Hawke has pushed you to the edge in the last few months. Ooh, that's cool and warm at the same time!"

Caitlin sighed and pursed her lips. "Cool and warm? That's a contradiction and a half Al.."

Cait slipped her shoes off as well, feeling the cool sand on her feet, and the warmth below as her toes sank and grinned. "Hey it is still warm!" She chuckled, "And cool too."

"Bar?" Alice gestured toward the lights on the road. "That music sounds fantastic, and I am so not ready to call this evening over, are you?"

Caitlin screwed up her face in thought. It was an office day for them both tomorrow, invoicing, filing, writing up accounts. There were no flights, no lessons booked, no stunt work, so… she grinned. "Oh, what the heck, Al. Let's enjoy this evening."

*****AW*****

"Blow the winds I-O, rovin' I will go

I'll sthay no more on England's shore

So let your mus-hic play

I'm off by the morning train….."

"Shhhhhh. Alish… jes, get back to Michaels"

Al giggled. "You're shlurring your worms Cait. Ooh Lamppost! I love Lampposts!" She flung her arms round the light and twirled round it. "Uh oh. Dhizhy."

"C'mon," Cait grabbed Al's elbow and dragged her on up the road and threw her newly acquired pink feather boa over her shoulder, "Don't wanna get arrested"

"S'OK. I can walk." Al felt her head.. "Hat, Where's my hat?" She glanced around. "Ah There 'tis." She picked up the red and white, fake fur Santa hat that had fallen to the ground, placing it on top of her head, and pulling it down firmly. "I jus' wanna keep dancing Cait."

"Yeah we can dance when we get back to Michaels."

*****AW*****

Michael Coldsmith-Briggs III, stretched out on the long white couch, a glass of scotch in hand. It had been the day from hell. If it hadn't been for the two cats, Snowball and Ptery, he would doubtless have spent the night at the office. There were days he would give his right arm for the thrill of being a field agent again, and this had been one of those days. Pandering to the whims of a belligerent senator in the morning, and an afternoon spent justifying budgetary overruns to the Resources committee, a meeting that overran by three hours. Drained of energy yet incapable of sleep, now at almost midnight, he hoped that the combination of whisky and Temazepam would help him get the sleep his body craved, but his mind wouldn't allow.

Drowsiness was creeping up on him when he heard a heavy thumping at the front door. Half asleep, he staggered to the door and squinted through the peephole. Alice and Cait, giggling and laughing. He huffed. Clearly too tipsy to let themselves into the guest house. He unlocked the door and opened it in one swift move. Alice, leaning on the door trying to remove her shoes, fell in and Cait tumbled after. He glanced down at them with a wearied expression. "Ladies? I hope your current state is not indicative of the rest of the party? After the incident with the French Cultural attaché last year I suggested keeping the celebrations a little more low key."

Cait snorted "D'ya hear that Al? That's why it was so lame."

Alice chuckled. "Yeah, but we found a fabulous bar, didn't we? Music, dancin'," Alice hauled herself to her feet while Michael offered a hand to Caitlin.

He hardly dared ask, but felt compelled. "Which bar?"

Cait looked at Alice and scrunched up her face in thought. "Blue Bar?"

He rolled his eyes. No wonder they were shitfaced. Blue Bar on a Thursday. Cocktail night, House Band and exotic dancers.

Alice grinned "That's it! And I can highly recommend the Long shlow comfortable screw against the wall.", She held up two fingers "I've had three tonight. An' Cait's had.. what was it?"

Cait, now slumped face down on the couch recently occupied by Michael, mumbled into the fabric of the cushions, "Two screaming orgasms and a slippery nipple."

He couldn't help himself. A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I assume we are talking about cocktails and not your sex life." The gesture that greeted his comment made him snigger. "OK, let me make this simpler for you both. I will unlock the connecting door to the guest house. In exchange, I would appreciate it if you would keep the noise down…"

"Munchies…" muttered Alice as she lurched toward the kitchen.

"What?" He asked, startled

"Hungry, I am bloody starving."

"Alice. Do not, I repeat, do not use any appliance that heats."

She turned with a crestfallen expression and a pout. "I just wanted cheese on toast."

"It's grilled cheese, and no, no grill. I do not want my house burned to the ground because of your drunken appetite."

"Spoilsport." Al furrowed her brow and scowled at him.

He was becoming annoyed. "Alice, I am NOT in the mood for this, I am too damn tired to deal with you two sots. Just.." He gestured angrily, "... Go to bed and sleep it off."

He grabbed the keys from the kitchen counter, unlocked the door opposite the kitchen that led to the guest house, and headed for the staircase at the end of the hall.

Alice thumbed her nose at his back.

"Absolutely no need for that Al and mind the steps."

*****AW*****

Slicing cheese was proving troublesome. The second glass of scotch wasn't helping. The craving for grilled cheese was virtually overwhelming, but a sandwich would do. Still holding the knife, Alice turned to open the refrigerator. She needed butter for the thick doorstep slabs of bread she'd hacked from the loaf on the counter, but what was in the fridge startled her. "Aaagh! Shit! What the..?"

The scream woke Cait, still face down on the couch in the lounge. "Whass up?"

"Bloody monster in his fridge, and... she sucked her thumb then examined it. "I've cut my thumb. D'ya know where the band-aids are?"

A dishevelled Caitlin appeared in the doorway. "Where's the monster?"

Still sucking her thumb, Al gestured to the fridge. Cait opened it and peered inside. "S'not a monster. It's squid." she turned to Al. "Let's see. Oh, yeah. That's gonna need a band-aid."

The two of them started rifling through cupboards and drawers.

Al frowned, "He must have Band-Aid. Where would you keep 'em Cait?"

"Bathroom?"

The pair staggered towards the stairs.

*****AW*****

"How many rooms does one man need?" Grumbled Cait. "Think that's 6 bedrooms and 7 baths, and Band-aids are in the master bath. Shoulda started at this end "

Cait pulled the carton from the shelf of the medicine cabinet, knocking a can of shaving foam, and a razor out and into the basin with a loud clatter.

They both stood silently for a moment, expecting him to stir.

Alice whispered. "S'prised that didn't wake him."

"D'ya think he's still alive?"

"Check?" Whispered Cait

Alice nodded.

They tiptoed into the bedroom with the lightness of foot of a herd of baby elephants. He lay, spreadeagled on the bed, snoring softly. "Well, he's definitely alive." Snorted Cait pulling a face "C'mon, I've seen more than I want to."

"I can fix that." Sniggered Al, pulling off her Santa hat.

"Don't Al. Don't do it. Oh my God, you did!" Cait howled.

"Just a little something to keep under his hat." Al snorted. "I don't want it back now." She jabbed his face with her finger. "He's absolutely out for the count, isn't he?" She smirked.

*****AW*****

Caitlin groaned. Her head was pounding with an incessant ringing. Like a…

... Telephone. She crawled off the couch in the guest house lounge and kicked the empty bottle on the floor. Holding her head in her hands, she shuffled across to the phone on the wall by the door.

Grabbing the receiver, she leant her forehead on the wall. "Yeah?" She mumbled.

"Caitlin?" Barked the gruff voice of Hawke.

"Uh, huh?"

"What the hell is going on there? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

She held the receiver away from her ear and grimaced. "Can you just, keep it a little quieter, Hawke? Please?"

"Caitlin, I don't have time to pander to your hangover. Samantha called, Michael hasn't arrived for his 8:00 am meeting. She's been calling, but no answer. Did you see him last night?"

"Yeah, Michael was here last night…. we…" flashes of memory, the squid, the hat. And... She groaned.

"Good, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"String, what… what time is it?"

"Almost 10. Dom is about ready to fire your sorry asses."

The phone went dead.

Slowly She lowered the handset back on to its cradle. Alice, she needed to wake Alice.

*****AW*****

"Of all the stupid, puerile and idiotic stunts the pair of you could have pulled THIS one has to be the most…." words failed him, lying naked on his bed, unable to move, tethered with his own neckties to the bed head and with a half eaten squid wrapped in a feather boa, lying beside him.

With Caitlin attempting to stifle her giggles, Alice took it upon herself to complete his sentence. "... humiliating experience on so many levels?"

"That Yes! And what's with the squid? Damn cat's have eaten half of it." He raged.

"It seemed like a good idea last night, to leave you with a… err...little friend." Sniggered Alice.

"Yeah? Well I now have squid ink stained sheets, ass and, and…"

"You don't have to say it, we can see for ourselves." Snorted Cait.

"Yep, and err, Hawkes on his way." Alice struggled to utter the words.

"My God, the ultimate indignity! When I tell Hawke what you two have done…"

Caitlin perched on the side of the bed. "You're not going to tell him," she said, taking his eyeglasses from the nightstand and placing them on his face.

"And why not?"

Alice perched on the other side, picking up the Santa hat and setting it back where she had left it earlier that morning. "Because Hawke will kill you."

"Oh, String! He took advantage of our inebriated state and made us do it." Caitlin lifted her hand to her forehead in a melodramatic gesture, then grinned.

"The acting classes are really paying off." Sniggered Alice.

"Untie me and we can discuss this." Seethed Michael, glaring at each in turn.

Caitlin wagged her finger at him. "Uh huh, nothin' doin' until you agree."

Alice looked up "and I can hear a Ranger coming in." She grinned. "Apparently preternatural hearing runs in the family, so we need your decision now."

He huffed loudly and glowered at them. "OK, I'll think up a story."

"In your line of work that shouldn't be too hard now, should it?" Purred Caitlin.

Alice tried to undo the first knot that tethered Michael's right hand to the bedhead, as Caitlin worked on the left.

"Cait, it's not budging.." hissed Alice.

The sound of the helicopter was getting louder.

"Can you get your nails under the loop?" Asked Cait.

"No, it's too tight." She fiddled and twisted the fabric.

"I can't loose this one either." Huffed Cait.

The thud of rotor blades was now overhead.

"Scissors!" He screeched. "Top drawer of the dresser. Cut the damn things!"

"Not yet, I've nearly got it." Alice bit the tip of her tongue as she concentrated.

The whine of slowing rotor blades. The Ranger had landed.

Cait ran to the dresser, yanking out the drawer, grabbing the scissors, slashing through one tie and passing the scissors across to Alice.

"Caitlin? Alice?" An urgent tone to Hawke's voice getting louder as he tore up the stairs.

"Michael?" Hawke snorted. A grin creasing his lips as he took in the sight before him.

Alice, cutting through the tie securing Michael's right wrist to the bedhead, Cait's flushed face, and Michael holding tight to the Santa hat that afforded him a minor element of dignity.

"Do I want to know what's been going on here?" Hawkes tone a mix of amused anger.

Free of the ties that fettered his wrists, Michael sat up, holding the hat close to his person.

"It would appear my companion last night lost her nerve and left me in, what I can only describe as constrained circumstances." Michael pursed his lips and glared at Alice.

Alice clamped her mouth tight, suppressing her laughter.

"I guess Michael should be grateful we found him." Smirked Caitlin.

Hawke laughed. "Something makes me think I ain't gonna get the truth from any of you, but I guess you've got somewhere to hang your hat, Michael, and that's always a bonus."

"Come on girls, let him get cleaned up and dressed." He ushered Caitlin from the room and turned to leave. "I'll call Sam and tell her you've been tied up." He sniggered. "Tied up... Really tied up."

"Michael?" Alice whispered.

He turned and glared at her and was met with a contrite gaze.

"I'm sorry." She leant forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Please don't stay angry." She stood and left the room.

A smirk spread across his face. It could have been worse. He sniggered as he headed for the bathroom. They could have hog-tied him and left him in a dumpster, as Samantha had done with the cultural attaché last year.