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You’d think Akaashi would be used to it by now. Waking up alone in the ridiculously oversized double bed, wrapped up in as many covers as he liked due to the fact there was no one to steal them from him in the night. No warm body next to him to make up for that fact either. But it’s the week running up to Christmas and god waking up alone just keeps getting harder and harder.
“Just five more nights of this,” he mumbled to himself before begrudgingly getting out of bed to start his day. Luckily it was his last day of classes before his college broke up for the holidays which meant his professors will hopefully be feeling festive and not make him do too much thinking today.
The other benefit of having classes today meant not being stuck in the empty apartment all on his lonesome. Shuffling through the empty place now was bad enough; the various trophies and photographs displayed proudly along the hallway, the unnecessary amount of pre- and post-workout in the kitchen Akaashi has to move out of the way to make himself some breakfast, and the shared wardrobe neatly divided into two distinct styles. Looking at the clothing for what was admittedly a long time, Akaashi pulled a hoodie from the undisturbed side, several sizes too big and a surname across the back that was definitely not his own (yet anyway.) Shoving his head through the garment and making sure he didn’t look totally ridiculous swimming in the fabric, Akaashi lifted the neck hole to his nose and breathed deeply.
At least it still smelled like him.
“Just five more nights,” he repeated to himself, grabbing his laptop and shoving it in his backpack, “and then you’ll be home again Bokuto.”
The next day was terrible. Not having classes meant Akaashi had nothing to distract him from the fact he was sitting alone in his apartment, not even dressed and still wearing his boyfriend’s massive hoodie. He was going to be productive today, go to the small home store on the corner to pick out a few last-minute presents, call his mother to go over the stuffing recipe one more time to get it right. To get his first Christmas with Bokuto right. But it's hard to be motivated when outside there are couples walking hand in hand while window shopping and ringing home would mean being passed around to the various other relatives spending the holiday season at his parents’ house, bombarding him with questions about ‘that nice loud boyfriend’ of his.
The thought of having to be put through all that made Akaashi feel incredibly lonely.
His phone sat next to him on the couch, Bokuto’s contact information still on the screen where Akaashi had contemplated calling him instead. The only thing holding him back was the fact his boyfriend was currently in another country entirely, Australia in fact, having spent the last two weeks on a team-building trip playing beach volleyball and taking advantage of the summer down there. If Akaashi called him now, he would only make Bokuto feel bad about leaving him alone this close to Christmas.
‘He’ll be home in four days, you can do this’ Akaashi reminded himself, before tucking his legs into the extra fabric of the stolen hoodie and staring at the passing couples on the street below.
Akaashi doesn’t usually remember his dreams. This is fine by him as he’s not usually one to buy into the whole dream meanings and all that stuff. But this dream was different. It was Christmas day in a house he didn’t recognize. The house was packed full of people, some talking and laughing around a small wood burning stove, others dancing and drinking to some old Christmas hits playing on a battered stereo system. And smack bang in the middle of the room was seemingly the source of all this festive and jolly cheer. His Bokuto.
Dream Bokuto notices his boyfriend staring at him out of the corner of his eye and turns fully around to face him, smiling so bright that dream Akaashi almost had to look away. Bokuto motioned for Akaashi to join him in the center of the room, an offer that anyone would find difficult to refuse. Moving towards his beaming boyfriend seemed to put time in some sort of slow motion. The various party-goers that had filled the room slowly dissipated into nothingness until it was only the two of them under the soft glow of a spotlight. Bokuto was looking down at him, smile somehow growing wider still and Akaashi couldn’t do anything else but match it.
Dream Bokuto glanced up, looking slightly above Akaashi’s head. Following his boyfriend’s gaze, Akaashi looked above his head to find a small sprig of mistletoe which definitely was not there a moment ago. Akaashi looked back towards his boyfriend who was already gazing half-lidded back at him. They seemed to move in sync, leaning towards each other painfully slowly in dream time. Their noses brushed against one another before they tilted their heads with practiced ease and finally their lips met. Akaashi sighed into the kiss as Bokuto wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s waist. Time seemed to stop completely, the darkness surrounding them allowing Akaashi to feel nothing but the warmth of his boyfriend’s touch embrace him completely.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
The alarm Akaashi set the night before to stop him from staying in bed all day broke him out of the dream. He reached for the source of the offending noise, blindly hitting around the bedside table until he manages to find his phone and switch the alarm off. He laid there, staring up at the ceiling. The dream had felt so real, so full of life, but now he was forced back into reality, all that was replaced with the empty lonely feeling again. Akaashi pulled the covers right up to just under his eyes before turning to face the empty side of the bed. Resting his free arm on top of the pillow next to him, Akaashi closed his eyes and tries to stop the tears from threatening to spill over.
Christmas eve eve is a strange day. It's like a limbo, not quite the time to celebrate but there’s usually nothing else but Christmas films on the tv or the cheesy music on the radio. Akaashi decided to spend this not quite holiday holiday lounging around the apartment scrolling through his phone. Which was a mistake seeing as around 90% of his Instagram AND Facebook feed were filled with couples posting selfies and showing off their matching Christmas jumpers in front of overly decorated trees. Definitely photos that they no doubt put on the front of any cards they sent to their family this year too.
It was only until there was a knock on the door that Akaashi finally stopped staring at the other couple’s happiness. Hopping off the sofa, he made his way to the door and opened it to find the back of a delivery person walking away and a large box by his feet.
“Thank you?” Akaashi called to the retreating figure who no doubt was in a rush given the time of year. Picking up the box, he returned to the sofa to see what was inside. After struggling with the mass amount of tape on the top of the box, Akaashi finally managed to bust the damn thing open only to be face to face (or rather face to snout) with an obnoxiously large koala plushie. Laying on top of its head was a note to which Akaashi quickly snatched up to see who in their right mind would send a giant stuffed animal.
Oh.
Of course, it would be from Bokuto.
Any annoyed feelings towards the impracticality of this gift immediately left Akaashi’s body and were instead replaced with the fuzzy little feeling only his boyfriend had the ability to manifest in his stomach.
“To my amazing and wonderful and handsome and perfect Kashi,” he began to read the note aloud to himself. “I really hope this gets to you in time for Christmas! The guys and I all went to this like wildlife sanctuary and everyone was teasing me saying these little guys looked like me!!! >: ( So I had the amazing idea to send my replacement to you!!”
Akaashi couldn’t help but chuckle at his boyfriend’s offense to being compared to the animal. Anything other than an owl and Bokuto would definitely pout. Akaashi picked up the stuffed toy and held it closer to his chest before continuing to read the note.
“I’m sorry I’m not with you instead Kashi. I really really miss you so much! : ( I keep thinking about how our holidays will be in the future!! We can spend the whole of December together next time and I can help with the decorating and getting the presents and maybe even in a few years’ time we’ll have a dog or maybe we would have adopted a-“
Akaashi stopped reading the note, his vision blurring with small tears meaning that making out the words almost impossible. He curled up tighter around the plushie and willed himself not to cry for the millionth time in the past few days. Taking a few shaky but steady breaths, Akaashi reaches back over to his phone and pressed the contact for his big romantic koala lookalike boyfriend.
It rings for what seemed like forever before the recording of Bokuto’s voice tells him he can’t answer right now but to leave a message. Akaashi glances at the time, adding the time difference and realizing it's probably the middle of the night where Bokuto was right now. He felt guilty all of a sudden for calling. When Bokuto had come to him a few months prior telling him of this team-building trip abroad Akaashi had been so supportive and made Bokuto accept the offer, regardless of when it was taking place. But now Akaashi wished he had been selfish and asked him not to go. It was harder than he thought to be apart from his boyfriend this close to the holidays.
When the automated message made a beep signaling it was waiting for Akaashi to speak, startling him out of his thoughts.
“I love you Koutaro.” That was all he managed to say before ending the call.
The apartment was already spotless when Akaashi decided that it needed cleaning, but it was Christmas eve and Bokuto was due to come back tomorrow so he didn’t really care if he’d polished the coffee table twice already. Akaashi just wanted to make sure everything was perfect so that when his boyfriend did come home nothing would be threatening to spoil it. He vacuumed the few fallen pine needles up from under the tree before stopping to tweak the decorations to make sure it looked as Pinterest perfect as possible before again vacuuming around the dammed thing. Gifts were checked and checked again for labels before being stacked in size order under the tree and displayed as aesthetically as possible. When there was nothing else he could physically clean (again) in the apartment, Akaashi thought why the hell not, and started preparing the vegetables for the small feast he’d prepared for dinner tomorrow. Not too much veg though, remembering Bokuto’s bias towards meat and distaste for anything green.
After preparing enough potatoes, carrots, parsnips, and sprouts to feed a small army (or in this case just the one Bokuto Koutarou), Akaashi finally allows himself to collapse in front of the television and turns on a shitty Christmas movie. This doesn’t help with his nervous energy as of course, this Christmas film is a romantic flick as well. ‘Why are all Christmas films romantic?’ he asks to himself while the two characters on screen make their way to the in-law’s house for no doubt some…hilarious shenanigans. Accepting his fate, Akaashi gets comfortable among the cushions and snuggles as much as he physically can into Bokuto’s hoodie which if he’s worn for the past four days that’s nobody’s business.
An hour into the movie and Akaashi finds he’s surprisingly enjoying it somewhat. The clichéd disapproving father-in-law and the goofy boyfriend on screen serves as a welcome distraction and Akaashi finds himself feeling the least lonely he has all week. He was actually relaxed enough to close his eyes and have a quick nap, well that was the plan anyway until a strange sound coming from the central hallway piqued his interest.
Bells.
Jingle bells to be precise. And it sounded like it was getting closer and closer to his front door. Confused from his near-sleep state and the bizarre bell situation, Akaashi sat up slowly from how he was laying and strained his ears to try and hear the magical sound again.
Yep, there was a definite sound of festive jingle bells coming from outside of his apartment door. Cautiously, Akaashi moved towards the door to take a look through the peephole at whoever was attempting an…interesting Santa impression. Before he even got his eye anywhere near the door, there was a loud knock against it. Akaashi recoiled a bit from the sudden noise, heart rate picking up now that the imposter Santa was definitely looking for this apartment.
“H-hello?” he called out while simultaneously grabbing the nearest thing within arms reach to use as a defensive weapon, which just so happened to be last week’s TV guide.
There was another knock at the door followed by more bells jingling. Akaashi moved ever so slowly closer to the door, gripping the rolled-up paper harder in one hand while reaching towards the handle with the other.
“HEY- wait I mean, HO HO HO!” a strangely familiar voice called out from beyond the door. Immediately Akaashi stopped reaching for the door and dropped the guide in his hand to the floor with a small thud.
“Koutarou?” It can’t be.
Akaashi all but ripped the door open, only stopping to battle with the latch which took an embarrassingly long time to work out how to disconnect in his hurried state.
Standing in the hallway, a small bundle of bells in one hand, a sprig of mistletoe in the other, and a red Santa hat perched precariously on top of salt and pepper hair, was Bokuto, a whole day earlier than he said he would be.
Akaashi couldn’t hold back the gasp that left him at the sight of his boyfriend. Bokuto was just standing there, grinning ear to ear like this wasn’t a complete surprise to be back from another country early without even a message saying he was coming.
“Hey hey hey ‘Kashi, Merry Christmas!” He said through his grin, stepping over his abandoned duffle bag to get closer to the still gawping Akaashi.
“Kou? What are you doing here? Your flight wasn’t supposed to get in until tomorrow morning? Has something happened? What about the rest of your team? What abou-“ Akaashi was cut off by his boyfriend closing the gap that for some reason was still between them, capturing his lips in a sweet but quick kiss.
“Keiji, it's alright! Apparently to coach I was complaining about missing you too much so he let me leave on an earlier flight!” Bokuto explained to a still confused Akaashi. “…and I wanted to make it up to you for not being here for the run-up to Christmas baby, but I’m here now!”
Bokuto lifted the mistletoe still clutched in his hand as if to further emphasize that he was indeed standing in the threshold of their shared apartment and not some cruel trick of Akaashi’s imagination.
“Ho ho-“ and before Santa Bokuto could get out his final ho, Akaashi was once again pulling them closer, kissing him like it was his last breath like if he didn’t then the man in front of him would disappear again. Bokuto just smiled into the kiss and picked up his smaller boyfriend around his middle before maneuvering the two of them into the apartment properly. Akaashi placed kisses on every square inch of Bokuto’s face, even taking care to avoid the small patch of sunburn that adorned his nose from playing volleyball in the sun too long.
Too soon Bokuto pulled away again so he could look down at the man in his arms who was pouting at the fact he was no longer able to smother his boyfriend’s face in kisses.
“What’s the face for baby?” Bokuto asked fully aware of what the problem was. Akaashi just sighed and hid his face in the soft sweater Bokuto was wearing, taking in the scent of his boyfriend’s deodorant which just reminded him that he was finally home.
“I missed you Koutarou.” Was all he managed to whisper.
Bokuto just wrapped his arms tighter around the shorter man and planted a soft kiss on the curls that framed his face.
“I missed you too Keiji, Happy Christmas.”