Chapter Text
Seeing a member of the 104th Training Corps willingly reading a book is probably more rare than seeing a Titan in the flesh, Armin thinks, as he slips into the library that afternoon. They’ve all been granted a precious afternoon off, and while the others head off to mess around and catch up on sleep and gossip, Armin plans to settle down with a good thick novel and enjoy a few hours alone. He’s absolutely the only one who would ever consider doing this.
He’s not sure what kind of book he wants to read today. The run this morning was punishing as all hell, so perhaps he needs a simple fantasy to dive into for some quick and easy escapism. Or maybe he needs to distract himself with heavy and complex subject matter- wrapping his head around intricate philosophical concepts has always been a fun pastime. But he does deal with enough heaviness and complexity as it is... Maybe he needs a break from that...
Escapism is probably his best bet.
Running his fingers across the spines of the books on the shelf, Armin searches for something that might catch his fancy, but the blurbs of everything he pulls out don’t really grip him. He wonders if he should ask the librarian for a recommendation. Before he can leave the aisle to seek her out, he bumps into someone.
“I’m so sorry!” he pipes up. “I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, there…”
“No, I’m sorry,” a familiar soft voice says. “I didn’t see you.”
Surprise flickers inside Armin as he looks up (it’s almost embarrassing, he has to crane his neck) at Bertholdt Hoover, the timid giant who spends practically all of his time with Reiner. Armin hasn’t really spoken to him much since their first day with the Corps, when Bertholdt had told the story of his past, and he’s astonished to see him here.
Bertholdt is one of the highest ranking in the class, a physical powerhouse who slices his way through training with ease. What in the world is he doing in the library on his day off?
“I was just… looking for something to read,” Armin says lamely. He feels even more tiny and frail than usual in the presence of such a huge person, even if Bertholdt has been more quiet than him so far. “Today was really tiring, so I didn’t feel like being among Eren and Jean fighting each other.”
“I understand,” Bertholdt says. “I came here for some peace, too.”
When Armin looks at him more closely, he can see tiredness in Bertholdt’s eyes. It’s definitely been a long week, even for the more talented cadets. “Do you like to read?”
Bertholdt nods and gives a rueful smile. “Reiner calls me a colossal nerd because of it.”
“Eren is like that,” Armin sighs. “I think you’d have to strap him down and put a sword to his throat before he opened a book of his own volition.”
“Honestly, I think it’s the same for most of our comrades,” Bertholdt chuckles. It’s a warm sound. “I don’t mind. It means this place is quiet.”
Humming in agreement, Armin turns his attention back to the rows of books. “Hey, Bertholdt… I don’t suppose you have any recommendations for me? I’ve been searching for a little while, but I couldn’t really find anything that looks interesting.”
Bertholdt looks almost surprised that someone could ask for his opinion, but at Armin’s earnest look he mumbles, “Um… sure. Do you want me to take you to them?”
It’s almost embarrassing how eagerly Armin nods.
"Okay... Are you picky about the genre?"
"No, I read anything and everything, honestly," Armin says brightly. "If it's bad, it means I get to criticise it. A win-win situation, huh?"
"That couldn't be me," Bertholdt admits. "I'm shallow, I can't get through hundreds of pages of something I'm not into..."
"I think that makes you normal," Armin corrects him with a gentle laugh, and gets a sheepish smile in response. It's easy to feel comfortable around Bertholdt- plus, it's gratifying that Armin can finally tell Eren that he’s not the only one who’s nerdy enough to spend a day off reading.
He follows Bertholdt out of the aisle, noting that despite how elegant he is in training, he shuffles along the floor like a timid schoolboy. It's almost as though he isn't used to moving around in such a large body- which is ridiculous, of course, as he's pulled off some crazy stunts in ODM gear. Speaking of which...
“You were really good in that last drill,” Armin says, thinking that maybe he can make a friend out of his shy comrade. “It’s amazing that you cleared it the quickest out of everybody. It's not every day somebody beats Mikasa.”
Embarrassment colours Bertholdt's cheeks. “Oh… thank you. It was just dumb luck, though, I messed some stuff up…”
Modesty is a rare trait among the 104th Training Corps. Both Armin and Bertholdt are definitely outliers to their aggression-fuelled comrades, though Armin is genuinely useless and isn’t actually pretending whenever he criticises his own abilities.
“Aw, I think you’re underestimating yourself,” is all he says. Bertholdt casts him a bashful smile and stops by a shelf.
“It should be here,” he says. He peers along the row of books until his eyes light on the right one. “Uh… yeah. This one is good.”
“Thank you!” Armin says, taking the book from Bertholdt’s outstretched hands. “What’s it about?”
Bertholdt rubs the back of his neck, he seems almost embarrassed to explain. “It’s about a pirate at sea- he’s trying to get away from his old life and find a purpose. Sorry, I’m bad at explaining, but... it’s really well-written.”
“The sea?” Armin says brightly. “That’s amazing! Hey, do you believe in it too?”
“Do I…” Bertholdt initially looks puzzled by the question, and then understanding flickers in his eyes. “Yeah, I do. I’ve only really read about it, but it sounds incredible, right?”
Okay, relax. Don’t explode on the spot. “It really, really does… I've always wanted to see it! Thank you so, so much for this!”
“It’s okay. I didn’t write it or anything,” Bertholdt mumbles. “Do you want any more?”
“Sure!” Armin says. He tries to stop himself from hopping up and down, but he can't help himself... now he can tell Eren that somebody else believes in the sea…
Lips curving upwards, Bertholdt leads Armin to another part of the library. Armin turns over the sea book in his hands as though he’s holding a golden relic.
“Ah, this one is great. It’s really funny, but a lot of things happen that you wouldn’t expect. It's... exciting,” Bertholdt says, drawing out another one. And then he winces. “Okay, I think I need to work on my sales pitches. That couldn’t have been more vague.”
“You’re doing great, at least you’re not spoiling it all for me,” Armin laughs. “I appreciate it so much. Got any others, or…?”
He doesn’t want to be annoying and force Bertholdt to keep giving him books, as pleasant of a scenario as that sounds. But Bertholdt doesn’t seem to mind, though his nose crinkles as he thinks. Eventually, an idea seems to come into his mind.
“There’s… one more, that I think you’d like.” His voice is much slower now, almost hesitant. Armin waits patiently to see what he’s thinking of. “I think…”
“What is it?” Armin prompts gently, as Bertholdt trails off for a while.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “It’s just… the subject matter… is a little heavy. Is that okay?”
Heavy subject matter? Being recommended by Bertholdt, another person who believes in the sea? Armin can’t think of anything that sounds better.
“I can handle it,” he says with a smile. “Like I said, I can read pretty much anything.”
It's meant to be reassuring, but Bertholdt still looks nervous about it. At Armin’s expectant gaze, however, he nods and shuffles along until he finds what he’s looking for.
“Here we go, ” Bertholdt says softly. It's a slightly thinner book, but Armin knows a lot can be packed into a little... “This one is about… suffering.”
“How lovely,” Armin jokes, but his comrade is staring at the book.
“And it’s about a cruel world,” he murmurs. “A cruel world where all of the madness and pain happens for no good reason."
Sounds familiar, Armin wants to say, but instead he runs a thumb over the cover of the book slowly.
Eventually, Bertholdt seems to slip out of a reverie and smiles apologetically at him. “Sorry, it’s a bit more depressing than the other two, as you can probably tell. But I... think you’d like it, Armin.”
“Thank you, I'm sure it'll be great,” Armin says. He’s not really sure what else he can say. “Hey, are you okay, Bertholdt?”
Maybe the book touches on troubling topics for him, because he's looking at it like it brings up bad memories. But he nods delicately. “Of course. Okay, I’ll, um, leave you to it now, Armin… Maybe you could tell me what you think of them when you're finished?”
“I’ll definitely do that.” Warmth blooms inside of Armin. “Hey… not to sound weird, but, you don’t have to go, if you don’t want to. You came here to read too, right?”
Bertholdt looks surprised. “Oh, yeah… but I wouldn’t want to disturb you…”
“You wouldn’t! You’re not the type of person to disturb anyone,” Armin reassures him. It’s true, really, for a giant fighter, Bertholdt is extremely unimposing. “It’s up to you of course, but… I really wouldn’t mind at all.”
Hesitation crosses Bertholdt’s face. Instantly self-consciousness creeps up inside Armin, maybe he should just let the bigger kid go, reading together is perhaps a step too far when it comes to nerdiness-
“... Sure,” Bertholdt says. "That sounds nice."
Armin wonders if he imagines faint traces of guilt in his comrade's eyes. It fades when Armin smiles at him and offers to take him to the warmest and cosiest spot in the library, promising him that all the stress from training will roll off his shoulders when they're there. He follows without faltering after that.