Archive of Our Own

• see when lumine and venti are walking out of the church
• jean joins them because she wants to thank lumine for her efforts against dvalin once more
• signora comes out of nowhere as she did in the story and the group of them get knocked to the ground
• signora looks down on them with a smirk
• she walks towards jean and lumine thinks this is it
• this is their end
• signora takes jean's chin in her hand and snaps her head up, forcing her to look her in the eye
• "you haven't changed, Jeanie."
• "I could say the same of you, you old hag."
• lumine is looking at the scene and her heart keeps sinking in her chest
• because this scenario is somehow worse than jean dying
• signora helps jean get up
• jean dusts off her uniform
• now lumine has both jean and signora looking down on her, both with very cold gazes
• jean with the gaze of a calculated murderer
• "you almost put a wrench in our plans there, little honorary knight," jean says, her voice somehow colder than her eyes
• lumine thinks that she is wrong, that jean's eyes aren't the color of the beautiful blue sky, but of the ice of the tundra way up north.
• jean suddenly grins. she bows, with a flourish, and put her right hand over her heart.
• "Nemea, second harbinger to her majesty the Tsaritsa, at your service, darling lumine."
• signora rolls her eyes in the background.
• "spare us the dramatics, we need to get going."
• jean -or should we say nemea- rolls her eyes in return.
• she goes to venti, who is looking up at her with more shock than even lumine.
• "but... venessa," he whispers, as he looks jean straight in the eyes. "venessa, what are you doing?"
• jean's smirk gets wiped from her face. she kicks venti in the stomach, and he gets forced to his knees.
• "never call me that again," as she forces her hand in his chest.
• gnosis in hand, the gentle glow it gives off illuminating half of her face, Jean's expression is unreadable.
• "we will have to kill witnesses," signora sighs from behind her.
• jean almost says yes. until she sees a pair of blue eyes, identical to hers, peeking from behind the wall of the church.
• blue eyes, identical to hers, full of tears.
• "no," her word is strong, final. signora raises an eyebrow.
• "we don't have a choice, nemea."
• "I said, no."
• signora frowns. "I don't answer to you."
• jean turns to look at her, eyes wide and murderous. signora takes an involuntary step back.
• "you will be wise to remember your place, Eighth," jean snarls, her eyes flashing in warning.
• she looks once more behind her back, at lumine and paimon strewn on the ground. at barbara.
• "let's go."
• and so they go.

—

• and so, jean chooses to leave mondstadt behind, to blow her own cover, instead of killing barbara lumine and paimon
• knowing full well she will have to face them one day
• .. not today.
• she knows she has let a lot of people —especially those who look up to her— down
• especially a certain purple witch
• she'd rather let them all down than kill her sister
• she'd rather leave Lisa behind than having to face her, and lie to her about grieving her sister and lumine
• her tsaritsa will commend her for having brought back a gnosis
• but jean won't be able to feel as victorious as she should
• lisa is a constant in her thoughts
• and she will probably forever be.

—

• during the final battle, when Jean is faced with them, with her family— old family, she refuses.
• "i refuse," she says, defying her Tsaritsa's will.
• the fatui who look up to her as the goddess' second in command gasp.
• the goddess frowns, not understanding the words uttered.
• "you refuse?"
• "I will not harm them."
• she looks the gang in the eyes, and they feel a pull towards her, affection towards her
• they have missed her
• oh how they have missed her.
• the tsaritsa laughs loudly, incredulously. "Nemea, pounce."
• jean stands her ground. "i refuse."
• she will look lisa in the eyes, Lisa whose tears have not stopped flowing since she saw Jean standing in front of her, well and alive and fatui.
• lisa who had been in denial since lumine and barbara told her that one afternoon.
• lisa who had convinced herself that jean was dead rather than think about... about the alternative.
• tsaritsa's anger drops the temperature in the room a few degrees
• "Nemea...."
• "I said no." Jean's hard eyes are directed towards her goddess, for the first time.
• the immortal being has a hard time believing that this gaze can belong to someone so immensely, softly beautiful.
• "you told me that you will save me," jean whispers, her eyes filling with tears. "you told me that i won't have to spend my life in submission, that I won't have to obey a god or anyone for the rest of my life."
• "you told me that I was destined for greatness. that you will never let me be a pawn again."
• The Tsaritsa's mind flashes back to a stormy night, a night where she heard the heartwrenching cries of a then little girl, of a then innocent, lovely little girl.
• of a little girl begging for death, begging for release. for freedom. of a little girl whose god had forsaken her. whose god had given her something that will force her into service for the rest of her life. a vision.
• ”you will be mine, little jean, and I will make you the most powerful archon known to man. your mother looks to force you into the Knightly Order. i look to give you the freedom to never take orders from anyone.”
• "I won't be forced into submission. I won't be forced into anything. I refuse."
• The Tsaritsa's heart breaks.
• "Very well," she whispers, driving a well-placed ice spike directly into her little Jean's chest. "You will never know submission. I have sworn it to you, and I intend to keep that promise. I am so infinitely sorry, my little one."