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Midnight Sensei,
I still remember the way we met. It seems now like it was forever ago. I thought you were a bit of a show off, the outfits, while understandable with your quirk, weren’t nearly as outlandish as the look you got on your face when things were mentioned, like when you tied up Bakugo, or anytime anything that could be considered innapropriate was mentioned, you looked like you could burst at the seams. I always thought you were half insane, and I guess you were.
Looking back now, I guess you kind of have to be to keep this job. It’s so stressful and painful in ways I never would have imagined. I’ll never forget the look on Uraraka’s face when she came back, hollow and horrified, or yet again wondering when Midoriya was going to get out of the hospital, going to visit him.
I couldn’t even fathom not being able to visit you.
I went and stood outside of the room I knew you were in and just stared. The doctors told me you were at peace, but I still remember the look on your face, and the last words you were yelling, the panic and anger in your voice as you fought to tell me everything you could.
It’s been three days and I still can’t believe you’re gone.
You were the one that when I doubted myself the most, you were always telling me what a great leader I’d make, and that my quirk had so many possibilities. You made me have the most hope in myself, even when I felt like no one else did.
Well, you and Todoroki, but that’s a different letter.
It’s been three days and today is the last time I’ll see you. The funeral is going to be weird. I hope so much that everyone recognizes that you sacrificed yourself to save us all, that you gave us what we needed to stop the rampage of that giant beast, but instead there’s so many that are focusing on everything that had nothing to do with you. You weren’t in the politics of it. You just tried your best to do your job, and you were wonderful at it.
Too wonderful. I don’t know how to go on now. You were the one I hoped to learn from for so much longer. Who do I look to now? I don’t know if Aizawa will be back anytime soon. This isn’t like the USJ attack, where he’ll be back wrapped in bandages in a few days. His leg was hacked off. I was able to see him quickly after surgery, and for the life of me, the pale color of his skin, the lifeless look to him, I couldn’t look at him.
It reminded me of you.
What if I can’t be a hero anymore? What if I’m too messed up now? The ones I looked up to are falling away, and for me, who’s still trying to piece together what to do, I don’t know how to put everything back together.
I’m so scared.
I’m so sorry.
You should have been scared, but you were probably just hoping that I was able to do what you told me, to make the sedative, and I did. I was able to help save everyone, and it was only because of you. I still don’t know how I managed to give my report, telling them that you saved everyone by telling me what to do. They gave me the praise you deserved. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better student. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do more, to find a way to save you. You shouldn’t have died like that.
But there’s nothing I can do about it now.
Principal Nezu says that you had a special liking to me, so this letter is going to go with you, to be cremated at your side, and I don’t even know how to say goodbye to someone as amazing as you. What should I write to someone who sacrificed everything to save as many as she could? What could possibly be good enough to say to someone who was so selfless that they were yelling out instructions until the end? You were amazing.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I will tell you, certainly, I will never forget you.
Goodbye, Midnight.
Yaoyozuru Momo