Work Text:
She had been six.
Jolyne Cujoh was six years old the first time her father missed her birthday.
She can vaguely remember the day if she ever tried hard enough to think back on it. She had been so excited to see him. She didn’t get to see her father that much, but it was okay! As must children are, she was rather optimistic. Jolyne must have just been naive. A shame. She had known he was busy with work and was okay with that. She believed that he had still cared back then, that as his child, he would always visit on her birthday no matter what. That time he didn’t.
She had bounded down the stairs, nearly tripping over herself with the abundance of anticipation. There were little dolphin pins holding her twin-tails in place. Her eyes were lit up like stars in the night sky, excitement making them twinkle. She had been innocent, hopeful, and incredibly stupid. Well, maybe that was harsh, but Jolyne really didn’t give a shit. She could still see her mother’s face fall as the energy dissipated. Her mother was the one left to hold a crying child on her birthday, all because her ‘father’ was busy with work.
This was the first year Jolyne learned of disappointment. It was also the first of many promises made to her by men that inevitably broke them.
When Jolyne was nine years old, she took up designing.
This was another memory she would rather not have. If she had a moment, Jolyne would question why she was having all of these memories right now.
She had started causing trouble in school that year. Her mother had to be called to the office several times for her disruptive behavior. Whatever. Those bitches deserved it. So what if she pulled one’s hair? She was picking on the smaller, more sickly boy in class. Jolyne didn’t do anything. Sadly, the school disagreed and she was sent to weekly meetings with the school’s guidance counselor. During the first few meetings, her mom was required to show up. The counselor suggested Jolyne working through her anger in a healthy, creative way. This is what started the designing and arts and crafts.
She surprisingly had taken to it well. The precise movements and the ability to make something lasting had really helped. Her room started becoming covered in little projects. Hair clips, little bags, and a half-finished crochet potholder. She didn’t seem to have the patience for crochet or knitting. She knew her birthday was coming up soon. Maybe he would show up this time?
He wouldn’t.
Despite that fact, Jolyne worked very hard on a hat and even placed aquatic-themed charms on it to match his job. He always seemed to be wearing one. Maybe if she gave him a present, even though it was her birthday, he would show up more often. Maybe he would care. (She was wrong.)
Jolyne was ten years old when she stopped expecting him.
At fourteen things took a spiral. It was around this time that she had started hanging out with the wrong crowd. It was only light hijinks, nothing too major. They weren’t the best people, but at least they didn’t pretend to care. Well, most of them at least.
She could remember her cheap school-girl crush on this one dirtbag. She was fourteen but he was sixteen, only a grade above her. It wasn’t a big deal. He had asked her to come out one night to hang out with all of them. Somehow, she doesn’t care that she can’t remember exactly how she ended up getting pinned for a major crime.
Robbery, grand theft auto, and fleeing the scene.
She was innocent.
No one seemed to believe her story. Jolyne could remember being so confused as to why until it was revealed that the guy she had a crush on pinned it on her. They had put her in holding. She was allowed one phone call but had managed to talk the guard into letting her have two. She called her mom first to plead her innocence. Then, she called her father for bail money.
Jolyne was only fourteen when she learned that it was every person for themself. No one would rescue her or save her. She was on her own in a dog-eat-dog world. That was fine. She would handle it. If authority and her elders failed her, then fuck them.
Juvie was hell. That’s all there was to say about that. Most of it was a blur at this point. She had made a few connections and after she got out, she joined a gang. It wasn’t like anyone expected anything of her. Her father wouldn’t pay her attention and didn’t care, and her mother didn’t believe her. Whatever. She would find someone else.
This started the mess that could barely be called her dating life. What a disaster that had been. You would think that she would learn after the first time. Whose bright idea was it to let her have poor taste in guys? Each relationship she entered crashed and burned. Wait. Crash..? No. The thought slipped again. Back to ‘reminiscing.’.
During this time, she rose through the ranks of the gang, developed fighting skills, learned how dark the world really could be. She was a delinquent, born and bred. How ironic. The stakes climbed over time. Things had started getting too intense. Jolyne had finally left the gang at the age of nineteen.
She had found a decent guy this time. She had put her life of crime behind her and was getting her act together. Everything was coming up aces. Maybe her mom would have been proud of her. She had found a nice guy too. His name was Ro—
Wait.
“SON OF A BITCH!”
Jolyne shot up from her position lying on the ground. A familiar scene greeted her. Bars.
Fuck.
Everything started flooding back. The crash, the body, the police. That rat bastard had set her up! No, no, no. It had to be a misunderstanding. He would get her out, right? Wait, it was too late. She could remember the fucked-up trial now. The shit lawyers. Her sentencing. She was locked up again. Romeo would regret this.
Jolyne was nineteen years old when she gave up on the idea of trust.