Chapter Text
“I slept with someone,” Tom said as he washed the dishes. Summer almost thought she misheard him. She turned back to look at him.
“Did you say something?” She asked him and he just stared at her.
“I slept with someone else,” Tom told her seriously and Summer stared back at him. She didn’t know how to register his words in her mind. Summer just sat there processing his words.
At first, she didn’t believe him.
Summer thought it must’ve been some kind of joke because Tom would never cheat on her. No, he was one of the good ones. It was why she hadn’t wanted to date him in the first place. Summer always thought she would ruin him and that had deterred her from dating him originally. Tom wasn’t like the other guys she dated. He was sweet, attentive, caring, and he adored her more than anything.
He was perfect, wasn’t he?
“What do you mean?” She asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear the answer. Tom swallowed hard, giving her a guilty look but it was different from his usual puppy dog look. He looked as though he actually did something wrong.
“In Cleveland, Ciara and I got to talking one night and we…sort of had sex,” Tom admitted and Summer stared at him blankly.
“Will did you or didn’t you?”
“Excuse me?” Tom questioned, looking at her incredulously as he tried to read the expression on her face. He didn’t understand what she was thinking and he rarely ever did. Summer was like a never ending puzzle and that used to be something he loved about her. Now he just felt as though he never completely broke down her walls. Even after dating for three years now.
“You said sort of? You either had sex with her or you didn’t,” Summer said in a cold voice. Tom sighed heavily and nodded.
“Fine. We had sex,” Tom told her and Summer did a sharp intake of breath as she started draining the kitchen sink. Tom had only been back home from filming Cherry for a few days now. It was just a brief break before they’d return next week to film the rest of the movie.
“You’ve been back a few days now. Were you ever going to tell me or were you going to fuck me as much as you could before you dropped the bomb?” Summer asked sarcastically as she felt emotion thick in her throat. Her heart was racing in her chest and she felt like breaking every single dish in the cabinet on the floor. Tom scoffed.
“Jesus, Summer,” He said but Summer had a point. She had waited upstairs in new lingerie she especially picked for him, waiting to welcome home. They had sex nonstop since he got back which they always did whenever one of them was away filming for so long.
“Answer the damn question, Tom,” Summer demanded and Tom felt a chill from how cold her eyes had gone. Summer had gotten mad at him numerous times in the past but she had never been this quiet before.
“If I’m being honest then no. I wasn’t going to tell you,” Tom admitted and Summer nodded. He ran a hand over his face. “I made a really stupid mistake and I didn’t want to ruin what we had because of it but I can’t do this. I can’t lie to you.”
“Why did you do it?” Summer asked him quietly. Tom shrugged.
“I don’t know. I had a drink or two, we had a really honest conversation, and I’d been away from home for a while,” Tom tried to answer honestly. “If you want to hear that she’s prettier or better then you’re not going to hear that because she’s not. She was just different…emotionally available.”
“And I’m not emotionally available?” Summer questioned and her boyfriend shook his head.
“No, you’re not,” Tom told her honestly. “I never know what you’re thinking and I can never figure you out. I used to like the mystery of it but now I never know how you’re going to react to something. You don’t tell me things…you think I don’t know but I’m not stupid. I know you still hide things from me because you have trust issues.”
“Well, maybe I’m right to have trust issues,” Summer quipped and Tom scoffed.
“See? That’s exactly what I mean. You never tell me how you feel. You always deflect and answer everything with some sarcastic remark,” Tom told her and Summer felt angry. Angry because he was mad at her like she was the one who fucked someone else. Not him. “You never want to talk about our problems.”
“So it’s my fault you decided to fuck your co-star?” Summer retorted, leaning against the counter as she stared at him coldly but underneath she felt her heart breaking. Summer adored Tom. He was the first guy she actually fell in love with. She truly believed that he was the one.
Everything was right with Tom.
He treated her differently than all the other guys she went out with before. Summer wasn’t an object to him. She was his best friend and he treated her like such. They had all their little inside jokes and understood each other to a certain extent. Summer had fallen for him dumbly initially because of his innocence. He was so different than all the other guys in Hollywood. Humble, kind, considerate, and zero ego.
This couldn’t be happening.
Summer woke up this morning, basking in the feeling of being in Tom’s arms again after being apart from him for so long. Now she was faced with a completely different situation.
“Of course that’s not what I’m saying,” Tom said in an annoyed tone. “Just…what the fuck? You’re not even angry right now. You’re not yelling or anything. I just told you that I ruined everything we built for the past fucking three years and you’re acting like it’s annoying…like an inconvenience.”
“Of course I’m fucking angry, you motherfucking asshole!” Summer snapped, making Tom flinch in surprise. “I gave you fucking everything. I moved to another country for you. You think I fucking wanted to move to London? Away from my family? No! But I did it for you.”
Summer didn’t stop there either.
“You go to the pub every night with your “mates” when I wish you would spend it here with me because we hardly spend any time together,” Summer told him angrily. “I’ve sat through I don’t know how many golf tournaments you’ve done. Do you know how fucking boring golf is?!”
“And what I’m the most pissed off about is that I told you I didn’t want to go out with you,” Summer finally said, tears welling up in her eyes. “I told you this thing between us was a bad idea and it would only end badly which puts us in a bad position because you work with my sister and Chris. I told you all this but you do that thing you do with your Bambi eyes, your accent, and the way you hold my hands. You promised me that we would be alright and I fucking fell for it.”
“Why are you talking like that?” Tom asked fearfully. “Why are you talking like it’s over?”
“Isn’t it? Isn’t that what you want?” Summer questioned. “Isn’t that why you fucked some other girl?”
“No, it’s not,” Tom said before shaking his head. “Look, I just got scared. We had that talk before I left for Cleveland and you were talking about starting a family-“
“I meant in a year or two,” Summer told him, frustrated by the way he was putting this all on her. She never told him to cheat on her. “I didn’t mean put a baby inside me right now. Like, I meant when we were in a better place and after we got married. That could’ve taken five years for all I knew.”
“But I feel like I’m just starting to get roles outside Marvel and having a kid on top of that will just be too overwhelming. When I have kids, I want to be present for them,” Tom told her honestly. “It’s different for you.”
“How is it different for me?” Summer questioned in disbelief.
“Because you’re you. You’ve had a career for the past ten years,” Tom threw back in her face. “You might feel ready to have kids because your career is solid but mine’s just starting.”
“That’s what this is,” Summer said in disbelief. “You feel emasculated by my success.”
“What? No!” Tom said in response. “I just feel like I’m not ready to have kids. Not for maybe ten years or something.”
“I told you years ago that I wanted to have kids young. That I didn’t want to wait until I was in my thirties or forties like my parents,” Summer said angrily. “I told you that when we were just friends. You knew that it was what I wanted.”
“I thought you would change your mind or something,” Tom said quietly and Summer shook her head in disbelief.
“This life we live is stupid. All this Hollywood bullshit. All the parties and people sucking up to you. I just want something bigger than that,” Summer told him, tears falling from her eyes. “Is it so wrong to want kids at my age? To have something outside all the movies and the glamour. To want to build something with someone I love.”
“No, it’s not wrong but my point is that I don’t feel ready to be a father or to get married,” Tom told her and Summer felt like her heart was ripping in two. “Summer, you’re the second girlfriend I’ve ever had. I don’t have much experience outside that and we’re both so young-“
“Wait a second,” Summer interrupted him, feeling more anger come over her. “This isn’t just about you not being ready to be a father. This is about you wanting to fuck other women.”
“That’s not what I said,” Tom argued and Summer scoffed.
“Look at you, Holland. You get a bit of fame and suddenly I’m not good enough for you anymore. You want to see what else the world has to offer you,” Summer said angrily. “Suddenly a bunch of gorgeous women are paying attention to you and you’re wondering what it would be like to be neck deep in super model pussy.”
“Well, you know that I’ve had a lot of offers too,” Summer said bitterly. She felt betrayed that it was so easy for Tom to sleep with some other girl when she had been nothing but devoted to him. “Guys come up to me all the time but I always say no because I had you. I love you and would never betray you like that because I respect you too much.”
“Summer, I just think we’re both at different places in our lives,” Tom told her, looking sad as he looked at her. “I need some time to find myself and you want to get serious. If you just gave me some time then we can-“
“You think that I’m going to wait around for you like a fucking dog?!” Summer spat and Tom flinched. “That I’m just going to wait around while you fuck a bunch of co-stars and models?”
“No, I’m saying that we can both see other people for now and then we can make a decision about-“ He tried to say again and Summer grew cold.
“I didn’t need to fuck some other guy to know that I love you and that it’s you who I wanted to be with,” Summer told him in a cold tone. “But I respect myself too much to wait around for you to make up your fucking mind. Any chance of us sticking together went away the night you fucked your co-star. I’m not taking you back.”
“Summer, love-“ Tom pleaded with her and Summer shook her head.
“I’m fucking done, Tom,” Summer told him and the brown eyed boy was suddenly scared of the fact that he might’ve lost Summer forever. Summer turned away from him. “I’m going to go find a hotel tonight and then tomorrow I’m going to pack up my shit. I would hope you’d still give enough shit about me to leave the apartment to give me the peace and space to do that.”
“Summer, you don’t have to leave the apartment. It’s our apartment,” Tom tried to tell her and Summer shook her head.
“Not anymore,” She deadpanned and Tom swallowed hard, trying to mend whatever he had broken. Now that the threat of her actually leaving was on the table, Tom knew he had done something really bad. Something unforgivable.
“Summer, you’re making a rash decision. Let’s talk about this more. You don’t have to pack anything up,” Tom tried to tell her and Summer looked at him incredulously.
“Do you know what you fucking want?!” Summer asked in exasperation. “First, you say that you want to see other people and you don’t want to take the next step. Now you don’t want me to leave.”
“I’m sorry, Summer, I just…” He trailed off, unable to think of any words to say. Summer raised her eyebrows.
“What?” She snapped and he fell silent. Summer rolled her eyes before nodding.
“That’s what I thought,” She said as she walked out of the kitchen, heading for the door of the apartment. She wasn’t even going to pack anything for the night. Summer couldn’t stay there. Not for another fucking moment.
“Summer!” Tom tried to call her but Summer ignored him. She didn’t even have the energy to say goodbye.
Summer stepped out into the London rain and could finally admit she hated it after a long three years. It was strange to think it felt liberating.
Only for a second.
Then she cried for a full week.